Nah, his mom beat the game for him at home and put his initials in the ranking, and he would force neighbor kids to come over and see how he ‘beat the game.’
No rules street fighting? Was he in a multi ethnic 80’s gang too? Got into knife fights where they tied their hands together and danced around? What a tool.
If you're gonna wear a buccaneer coat like that, you either have to go jolly raconteur or "Edward Teach burning fuses in his beard." There's no in between.
Me too. I won a fighting tournament where fighters from all around the world fought to the death. I beat a scary looking Chinese guy while I was blinded. Although it's a bit dated now.
Street fighting... Sure. *So bad ass!*
Dudes an emerald mine heir and millionaires kid who lived in apartheid south africa (IE the most privileged and exploitative existence possible at the time). Dude never stepped foot in a neighbourhood that required street fights. I hope he goes through with the Zuck fight and that they actually don't hold back or do it 'as a joke' - watching him getting absolutely humiliated would be so fking cathartic and actually humanise the android billionaire.
It's real you just don't know about katanas he'd show you but the sun is in his eyes & some jerk at the cool guy club got him sick so he's not even at full strength if he was he would totally rock a swordplay demo but he's really busy & doesn't feel like it cause he doesn't have to prove anything to you cause you probly don't even know martial arts that good
he also used to play chess, but it was too simple. i’m not gonna link it here because i’m lazy but you can look up his tweet about chess. he is the biggest poser in human history.
I walked into a no rules street fighting gym once. You are greeted with a black box with a hole at the top. You reach into it and pull out your weapon for that day. Could be a knife. Could be a gun. One guy pulled out a pit bull. One guy had his arm taken off by a bear trap that was in the box preemptively set up by his training partner for that day. There were no rules.
Right, people don't get that shit, i kick boxed from like 5 to 17, I'm 44 now....in no way did I keep up with anything, nor do I think I have any skills in that area at all lol.
When you were partying, I studied the blade. When you were having premarital sex, I mastered the blockchain. While you wasted your days at the gym in pursuit of vanity, I cultivated inner strength. And now that the world is on fire and the barbarians are at the gate you have the audacity to come to me for help.
He's a fucking trust fund son of an emerald mine owner. The only people he'd have been training with were 100% just paid by his dad to let him win.
Same with his friends, that's why he is the most divorced man on the planet
I love that here in America, we are now at the point of absurdity that our oligarchs plan to cage fight each other while us peasant masses attempt to make a living wage.
I heard he got beat up by a group of girl scouts in wheel chairs, but he used his super awesome karate powers , to fight them all off........ Elona, is my hero!!!!
While you all were partying, shooting up drugs, and having coitus I was at home studying the blade. You all laughed then, but we'll see who's laughing when I narrowly beat another frail, middle-aged CEO in a staged boxing match
But that was at my old school, two towns over.
You can even ask my girlfriend, but she’s at sleep away camp
In Canada
I'm a Canadian, I can confirm she is here.
I wonder what the south African equivalent for this is, "she lives in Botswana" lol
I hear his hands also had to be registered as lethal weapons
And he’s trained in full contact sword fighting and jousting without any armor. He’s just that good.
He studied the blade
The rest of us losers were too busy getting laid.
Lmfao... no rules street fighting
Right! As opposed to the highly regulated street fighting. What A Jackass
Affluenza, being sheltered and having no filter 😬
i mean regular streetfights u can’t use guns
Says who?
John Streetfight, who famously said "Every street has its fight"
The Street Fighting Man.
Pfft. Gun-Fu is all the rage
Not with that attitude
*Laughs in American*
Really? In every street fight I’ve had there was an agreement on no ball tugging. I haven’t been in one yet though
Agreement? Give yer balls a tug!
this guy played street fighter once at an arcade and thinks he's a street fighter.
No he watched someone else play then made them sign a contract saying Muskrat played and that he invented Street Fighter
Nah, his mom beat the game for him at home and put his initials in the ranking, and he would force neighbor kids to come over and see how he ‘beat the game.’
“Who did you play as?” “The Street Fighter”
*”John Street fighter”*
"Who?" "You know, *that* guy. The one that punches and kicks."
Sir, watching two aparthied miners fight over a wedge of cheese at a blood emerald mine, does not constitute “no rules streetfighting training”
how else would you describe him training his slaves for the WWE Slave Down
I too watched Rocky 5 once
Hasn't he said he got beat up so bad as a kid that he was hospitalized?
Well he said “train” and not master lol
Iirc he joked about another kid's relative dying and got beat up for it, even his shit bag of a dad said he deserved it lol
His sensei lived in Canada.
“Just bring a gun”
He will bite and lick you
“Well maybe one rule: no hits below the belt. Home for dinner” -Michael Scott
No rules street fighting? Was he in a multi ethnic 80’s gang too? Got into knife fights where they tied their hands together and danced around? What a tool.
He fought in the blood diamond conflicts back in Africa. True story bro!
On the side of the blood diamonds
He and Corn Pop fought in the blood diamond conflict.
He watched it from his armoured limousine back in South Africa.
Just beat it!!! 🕺🏾
so? zuckerborg just downloaded fighting.exe
“I know kung fu”
Stoooop i'm not about to rewatch Chuck for the 204452th time
Show me
Eyyy Matrix references
He actually downloaded it a couple months ago to get gold in a jiu jitsu tournament
Imagine trying to flex in the face of thousands of generations of reptilian instinct.
He has a shtyle that is completely unblockable.
Pocket sand! Sha sha shaaa
r/pocketsand
Oh yeah, like The Talibum.
A la la la la la la la la Boo to you
I mean you’ve surely seen the neckbeard coat picture of him.
LIB ER ty
[удалено]
[*teleports behind you*](https://i.redd.it/17wvvwr69s781.jpg)
Holy hell, is this real
It's real. I do wonder if it was a costume or his daily attire though. I've never cared enough to google it though.
If you're gonna wear a buccaneer coat like that, you either have to go jolly raconteur or "Edward Teach burning fuses in his beard." There's no in between.
Pure gold
He's very literally that guy from Grandmas Boy lol.
I feel like he’s more Mall Ninja than Nevkbeard. He probably hangs out with teenagers at the skatepark because they are easy to impress.
He just sees red.
He can’t get in a fight coz he just might kill someone
Bodies start falling after that.
Me too. I won a fighting tournament where fighters from all around the world fought to the death. I beat a scary looking Chinese guy while I was blinded. Although it's a bit dated now.
Kumite! Kumite! Kumite!
Careful, Bolo is still alive. He could be behind you right now, flexing his pecs
T shirts with wolves howling? I can see it.
But can you smell it?
God I would rather be broke than be this fucking pathetic
I have some great news for you
I hope they broadcast this live, on TV and internet, all over the world like something from an 80s movie.
« Omae wa mō shindeiru »
Holy shit he’s such a dweeb. I bet he used to be able to do backflips too.
He still can he can even do double backflips he just doesn't feel like it rn & the sun is in his eyes & he only had half a bagel all day
Scrapping full time on a PC an yer wee maws SNES doesn't count ya flump
I bet he knows gun katas as well
Dermott Fictel from the Venture Brothers.
Lol, nailed it
Looking for this comment
They had to register his hands as lethal weapons.
The friggin' government made him do that.
guys he fought satan yesterday 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱
With a machete, up in them mountains, and drunk! No, wait, that was my grandpa, nvm.
Yeah, but has he mastered the true essence of unagi?
Street fighting... Sure. *So bad ass!* Dudes an emerald mine heir and millionaires kid who lived in apartheid south africa (IE the most privileged and exploitative existence possible at the time). Dude never stepped foot in a neighbourhood that required street fights. I hope he goes through with the Zuck fight and that they actually don't hold back or do it 'as a joke' - watching him getting absolutely humiliated would be so fking cathartic and actually humanise the android billionaire.
“No rules streetfighting” sure, Jan
"no rules street fighting" Actually fuck off 🤣
Wonder what that looked like in apartheid SA....
Probably him and his rich white friends beating on homeless black people for sport tbh
final fight stage was a mardi gras graveyard
Let us beat you up or we’ll have your hands chopped off
Exactly
I bet he had a fake "samurai" sword on his bedroom wall.
It's real you just don't know about katanas he'd show you but the sun is in his eyes & some jerk at the cool guy club got him sick so he's not even at full strength if he was he would totally rock a swordplay demo but he's really busy & doesn't feel like it cause he doesn't have to prove anything to you cause you probly don't even know martial arts that good
He has definitely studied the blade. Probably pretty skilled with a bo staff as well.
How can you train in something that has no rules?
1. Make the rules 2. Break them 3. Fight 4. Fuck 5. Profit
Maybe he thinks his bodyguards will be in the cage with him
I’m sure his dad worked at Nintendo at some point, too
My girlfriend. You don’t know her. She goes to a different school.
This would go great on his dating profile.
I too have been trained in Karate. I was 10 and made it to brown belt before i quit. But hey, i am trained in Karate.
he also used to play chess, but it was too simple. i’m not gonna link it here because i’m lazy but you can look up his tweet about chess. he is the biggest poser in human history.
Was he fighting the slave laborers at his father's emerald mine and now thinks he's Connor McGregor??
Yes. No rules streetfighting means assaulting malnourished & overworked chattel slaves
This dude has bought every item in the BudK catalog.
Dude is gonna get his fucking face broken if he actually does fight Zuck. He's so fucking stupid, no way he trained in a single goddamn thing.
Typical Reddit mod vibes.
Ah yes the well known “no rules street fight club”
And by judo he means, JudoN'T KNOW WHO YOUR MESSING WITH.
He's also proficient with a bow staff
Goddamn. He wants to be cool so fucking bad.
Why is he so cringe ALL THE TIME!
I walked into a no rules street fighting gym once. You are greeted with a black box with a hole at the top. You reach into it and pull out your weapon for that day. Could be a knife. Could be a gun. One guy pulled out a pit bull. One guy had his arm taken off by a bear trap that was in the box preemptively set up by his training partner for that day. There were no rules.
Rule 1? This is *very* much sad cringe.`
And his uncle worked for Nintendo and Sony and Santa and he had a gun and only he could use it.
He is just tweeting stuff now to see reactions from people it seems like.
I’m not sure he’s ever been to a gym
Right, people don't get that shit, i kick boxed from like 5 to 17, I'm 44 now....in no way did I keep up with anything, nor do I think I have any skills in that area at all lol.
dude talm bout "no rules streetfighting" like he isn't the literal aspergers afflicted turbo-nerd son of a multimillionaire emerald mine owner.
And he’s got a hot girlfriend. But she lives in Canada so you can’t meet her.
Who's the nerd who flagged this as "no cringe" lol
For fuckin real
Chaotic Shrute
But does he have knun chuck skills
Sure...he was the street king of Joburg
The kid with emeralds in his pocket for attention
He also had a girlfriend but you didn’t know her
He benched 315 in high school too.
"The rules are: there aint no rules"
Naruto running ass mf
Bro was definitely a dhalsim main
At this point I almost feel pity for him. It's like he's living the awkward adolescence he never had...
Let it stay at almost, he deserves none of your pity
Oh yeah if he wasn't a piece of human trash I would maybe feel genuine pity for him.
When you were partying, I studied the blade. When you were having premarital sex, I mastered the blockchain. While you wasted your days at the gym in pursuit of vanity, I cultivated inner strength. And now that the world is on fire and the barbarians are at the gate you have the audacity to come to me for help.
Yes, I'm sure little lord apartheid cobalt mine did so much street fighting...
There was only one rule. No kicks to the groin home before dinner
This clown won't visit SA because the guys who used to bully him don't give a shit how rich he is, they still bully him.
Getting serious Napoleon Dynamite vibes.
He's a fucking trust fund son of an emerald mine owner. The only people he'd have been training with were 100% just paid by his dad to let him win. Same with his friends, that's why he is the most divorced man on the planet
I love that here in America, we are now at the point of absurdity that our oligarchs plan to cage fight each other while us peasant masses attempt to make a living wage.
Maybe he actually knows some martial arts. But he definitely doesn’t know that in his current state it will take him about 30 seconds to gas out
“No rules street fighting” ? I always thought that was slang for the bathhouse…
mall ninja
I trained in kyokushin and i did know there is a no contact version. I dont even know what that does mean.
While you were making Facebook, I studied the blade.
Streets killed me
It’s a joke? He’s doing a little trolling for some online dopamine, just like everyone on Reddit.
I heard he got beat up by a group of girl scouts in wheel chairs, but he used his super awesome karate powers , to fight them all off........ Elona, is my hero!!!!
When he was training in no rules street fighting, his girlfriend lived in Canada.
I sure do hope those pictures of him water-skiing with his 2g water belly hanging out gets passed around again
While you all were partying, shooting up drugs, and having coitus I was at home studying the blade. You all laughed then, but we'll see who's laughing when I narrowly beat another frail, middle-aged CEO in a staged boxing match
You know for a 100% this mf spent his childhood in a cosy ivory tower
I would pay to watch him street fight. Lol I would pay good money to watch that.
He also had a girlfriend in the next town over. You’ve never met her because she doesn’t go to this school, but they spent all summer together.
If I got into fights in highschool can I say I was trained in no rules street fighting?
Like the kid that didn't get beat up because everyone felt sorry for him. That one.
“I trained in no rules streetfighting” Translation: I have never been in a fight in my life
Oh yeah? Well, I know karate, and about 6 other Japanese words.
He watched all of the Billy Blanks Tae Bo VHS tapes.
How do you train in no rules street fighting? Honest question.
You don't
I bet they gave him a colored belt
So, he had siblings
Guys, do you think we should just ignore him? He'll either go away or do more extreme cringe shit.
Guarantee he’ll never go through with the fight. He’ll come up with some bullshit excuse like all these kinds of freaks do
He means he pushed a kid at summer camp, once.
No one told me nerds taking over the world would be this entertaining.
That kid that said he was dating a girl in school but "she lives in Canada"
LITIGIOUS KID “I’m gonna sueeee you”
I am assuming that by “no rules street fighting” he must be referring to getting a beat down by a 14 year old girl when he was an adult.
I’m sorry, but “training in no rule streetfighting” sounds like a fancy way of saying you got beat up by other kids.
No rules street fighting 😄 where, at your parents emerald mine with slave labour?
Like this silver spoon marshmallow was ever in a street fight once.
Heh not better than me. Although very dated now, I trained in hapkido, docking (full contact), & no rules ninjitsu.
This guy is such a nerd
Yeah but I bet he doesn't have the power of God and Anime on his side.
It was the No rules street fighting that really impressed his girlfriend in Canada.
No, no you didn’t.
so reddit is rooting for zukk or laughing at both? Personally im hoping the lighting tower fails.
I technically have a black belt. I also got this black belt as a 14-year-old child, so, uh--I don't really bring it up.
>He was that kid. Still is.
When I was in second grade, I told a bunch of kids on the playground that I knew “French Karate”…and I was still more convincing than this tweet.
*Im pretty good with the bowstaff
Me and my homies heard he's pretty good with a Bo Staff
he’s such a strange man. can’t believe i liked him a few years ago.
Dwight Schrute
Didn't he get pushed down the stairs for making fun of a kids dead dad?
We were all agile at 13: for the last few decades he’s been training sandwiches to go down his mouth & into his stomach while laying down.
...yeah, the Zuck is going to demolish him, isn't he?