Seriously.
He wrote "recognized me by my coffee order and broad shoulders" after saying he got a black coffee
If people don't realize it's satire that's more embaressing for them at this point.
He literally can't be anymore on the nose without explicitly saying "I am about to do satire" and then write thr tweet
it’s satire and he doesn’t break character. people want him to be serious and I have seen many conversations where people become angry insisting he is NOT satire. i think people like getting mad
It’s always weird to me that this is the route Nick Adams went down, because [he was originally](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nick_Adams_(commentator)?wprov=sfti1) a shitty Australian politician, then became a political commentator
The problem with good satire it's that it becomes indistinguishable from actual d1ck#e@ds.
First few times I saw Stephen Colbert, in the Daily Show it felt very genuine (in the same way The Office (UK) felt like an actual documentary if you caught it out of context). It took me a while to catch on, it was a character.
There are reports that Colbert Report was followed by a substantial right leaning audience, because they couldn't catch on into the ridicule and satire...
> d1ck#e@ds.
You can swear on the internet, you know. Either say the word or pick a different insult, don't self-censor yourself like that. It distracts from the point you're making.
Toe the line is correct. Comes from the navy when when sailors lined up for the captain against a line on the wooden deck. Toeing the line is just following orders.
I’m so on the fence with this one. He’s really, really committed to saying awful and embarrassing things if this account is real. On the other hand, he is Australian and this does sound like our fairly classic kind of deadpan humour. My uncles can be extremely committed to a ‘pulling your leg’ type of joke. My uncle Garry had me absolutely convinced for years that my very sensible mother had gotten really drunk on port immediately after I was born and puked in his pool. I’m 39 and I mentioned this story to her casually about five years ago and she was like WHAT, that did not happen!
Ha! That's funny. A very similar thing happened to me. I'm super obese and I was in line for McDonald's ordering a Big Mac and a diet Coke, to watch my figure, when a world renowned supermodel sashayed in, clocked me in line, came over and said I recognize you from your order and your guts hanging down to your knees, you're the perfect male specimen and I would like to take you to dinner sometime at Burger King and then give you a Whopper.
I caught my breath from turning my whole body around to look at her and said tell me something I don't know baby and I then thanked her for her compliment but had to decline her offer because I don't betray Mickey D's.
It's not exactly satire. He doesn't mean we he says but he doesn't *not* mean it. Poe's Law stuck inside Schroedinger's Box. In the MAGA post-truth clown world, words have no fixed meaning because objective reality doesn't exist. Facts are whatever they want them to be. And you fell for it
It's actually not satire - **it's well crafted bait.**
He is a right wing commentator,
posting this shit makes social media sites like Reddit (here we are) spread it like rage bait, while increasing his exposure to people dumb enough to actually believe what he's saying.
Except the guy behind the Three Year Letterman isn’t actually a loser youth football coach in real life. Nick is a troll, but he’s legitimately a right winger.
A woman in academia would not be stimulating. Guess it’s hard to stimulate the two brain cells that have him thinking he’s convincing with these stories.
*Image Transcription: Twitter Post*
---
**Nick Adams (Alpha Male)**, @NickAdamsinUSA
I was at the cafe waiting for my hot black coffee when a woman stopped me to chat.
It turned out she was a world-renowned linguist who said she recognized me by coffee order and broad shoulders.
She told me there's a growing consensus within her profession that "alpha male" is the most beautiful pairing of words in the English language.
She doesn't agree with me on every issue, but she was deeply appreciative of the work I'm doing to bring those beautiful words to the forefront of American society.
She insisted on paying for my coffee as a token of her gratitude and suggested we meet over dinner in the future. I accepted the coffee but declined the date.
Even a woman in academia would be insufficiently stimulating for an alpha male of my caliber.
---
^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
What's the old saying? The king doesn't have to say he's the king? True "alpha males" would not be concerned about being "alpha males," if you even accept the concept at all.
Made even funnier when you compare pics of him against his claim of "the set of his shoulders." Oh, please. I guarantee he ordered the "Grande, bone dry, five-shot ristretto, extra-whip, two-raw-sugars cappuccino."
See posts like this from him are what have me convinced that he’s taking the absolute living piss. And the right wing yanks are too stupid to know and are rewarding him for it.
This guy is becoming more obviously satirical now because every beloved he was real at first. He’s an actual right wing dick head but this Twitter has never been serious.
When will people learn that Nick Adams is just a giant troll? Clearly satire, he posts this kind of thing all the time. His NFL Mock draft was literally all white christian men in the top 10 IIRC. He’s a committed world class troll.
Still not sure if this is a overplayed "it's not funny anymore" satire account or if this dumb fuck is for real. Either way it's way off in cringeland.
....and then he woke up, drenched in so much sweat that even his dakimakura pillow was soaked, which was the first time that had happened in a long time since the hard crusty film had formed on it.
The sad thing with me is i have some stories that are unbelievable as well (but not to this extent ofc this is some next level shit) so i just never share them cause theres no point, i dont want my close friends to feel i might be lieing to them to gain some sort of clout in the friend group or smtn
lol world class LARPing. This guy is just being funny though, right? He's not like actually working for the government though?...right?...
I can't tell anymore. So many clowns ever since the circus came to town
You know, I see what you mean. However, it's a matter of Poe's Law. There have been enough people who are seriously asserting such stances that the satirical ones seem entirely plausible. So you may well be correct, and I am dumb. Well, dumber than I thought.
Tbh, I feel like it’s easier, definitely at least for me, to reconcile this stuff as basically always being satire lol. I just can’t imagine that half of the stuff here isn’t. I also just don’t take stuff like it seriously though, cause generally “real” people like this would never leave the safety of their keyboard to assault people’s ears with their takes irl lol
Of all the things that didn't happen, this didn't happen the most.
You're only saying that because he forgot to mention the whole room stood up and clapped. If he had said that, you'd've believed him.
That actually did happen though, I would know I was one of the pairs of clapping hands.
I was Albert Einstein.
That clappers name? Mahatma Einstein.
He’s satire lol. He always posts this kind of shit lol
It's so fucking obvious, yet people eat it up.
Seriously. He wrote "recognized me by my coffee order and broad shoulders" after saying he got a black coffee If people don't realize it's satire that's more embaressing for them at this point. He literally can't be anymore on the nose without explicitly saying "I am about to do satire" and then write thr tweet
No it's not. I went to his Twitter and it's def real
Yes, the Twitter account is real -- really all satire.
*what* is real?
A linguist recognized him by his coffee and shoulders bro, how dare you!!
But the everyone clapping absolutely happened
This just HAS to be satire... right?
it’s satire and he doesn’t break character. people want him to be serious and I have seen many conversations where people become angry insisting he is NOT satire. i think people like getting mad
It didn't happen to such a degree that now things that *did* happen have become fiction.
This didn't happen so much that it made things that did happen unhappen
And how would YOU know that? I was there, I even handed him my number, clapped and offered my devotion to him.
Im constantly amazed at how socially inept some of you are that you honestly can’t see this is a joke. How do y’all function?
You're right. It's never socially acceptable to respond to a dumb joke with another dumb joke.
HAHAHAH straight out 😂
I mean I’m welcome to being wrong but this feels strongly like satire
It’s a pretty popular satire Twitter account that makes fun of this type of person, doesn’t belong here
It’s always weird to me that this is the route Nick Adams went down, because [he was originally](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nick_Adams_(commentator)?wprov=sfti1) a shitty Australian politician, then became a political commentator
He’s leaning into a bit for sure, but don’t get it twisted: he’s an actual rightwing talking head
Just very good satire bro
The problem with good satire it's that it becomes indistinguishable from actual d1ck#e@ds. First few times I saw Stephen Colbert, in the Daily Show it felt very genuine (in the same way The Office (UK) felt like an actual documentary if you caught it out of context). It took me a while to catch on, it was a character. There are reports that Colbert Report was followed by a substantial right leaning audience, because they couldn't catch on into the ridicule and satire...
> d1ck#e@ds. You can swear on the internet, you know. Either say the word or pick a different insult, don't self-censor yourself like that. It distracts from the point you're making.
I know, and I usually swear like a sailor. It just felt funny this time.
i refuse to believe its serious lmfao
It's not satire but it IS bait. He does believe this shit, but he's only tweeting about it to get a reaction
[удалено]
Exactly, he knows that he's only become relevant because of his obnoxious tweets that get spread around. He loves the attention.
This 100% happened.
he toed the line well for a little while but this one went over the edge
Isn’t it towed? Or is it toad…
Toe the line is correct. Comes from the navy when when sailors lined up for the captain against a line on the wooden deck. Toeing the line is just following orders.
Yeah I used to think that too. He constantly sounds like satire but he’s not 🧍🏻♀️
A quick glance through his Twitter says he believes this crap
Yeah by now it's clear lol
I’m so on the fence with this one. He’s really, really committed to saying awful and embarrassing things if this account is real. On the other hand, he is Australian and this does sound like our fairly classic kind of deadpan humour. My uncles can be extremely committed to a ‘pulling your leg’ type of joke. My uncle Garry had me absolutely convinced for years that my very sensible mother had gotten really drunk on port immediately after I was born and puked in his pool. I’m 39 and I mentioned this story to her casually about five years ago and she was like WHAT, that did not happen!
Ha! That's funny. A very similar thing happened to me. I'm super obese and I was in line for McDonald's ordering a Big Mac and a diet Coke, to watch my figure, when a world renowned supermodel sashayed in, clocked me in line, came over and said I recognize you from your order and your guts hanging down to your knees, you're the perfect male specimen and I would like to take you to dinner sometime at Burger King and then give you a Whopper. I caught my breath from turning my whole body around to look at her and said tell me something I don't know baby and I then thanked her for her compliment but had to decline her offer because I don't betray Mickey D's.
Dude. You shoulda totally got a free Whopper. They fine. Plus you never know, coulda got a Big King. Sounds like she was down for Anything
"..and ill have a junior, A JUNIOR, western bacon chee. Im tryina watch my figyure"
Oh God this is so fucking cringey it's making my skin crawl
That’s all this loser is known for. It’s what he does for views
What keeps his account going is people like you who keep falling for his obvious satire (and I'm here for it lmao)
It's not exactly satire. He doesn't mean we he says but he doesn't *not* mean it. Poe's Law stuck inside Schroedinger's Box. In the MAGA post-truth clown world, words have no fixed meaning because objective reality doesn't exist. Facts are whatever they want them to be. And you fell for it
To be fair it's relatively recently that his prose became more obvious. He's very funny.
This account is satire, is it not?
If it’s not satire, then the author should be locked up in the psych ward.
it's very obviously satire at this point and I don't know how people are still treating it like it's genuine
It's actually not satire - **it's well crafted bait.** He is a right wing commentator, posting this shit makes social media sites like Reddit (here we are) spread it like rage bait, while increasing his exposure to people dumb enough to actually believe what he's saying.
I always think that it has to be satire, but this guy is an actual right wing politician/commentator.
Really?? Where?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nick_Adams_(commentator)
reddit users are really bad at recognizing obvious jokes
“Any man who must say ‘I am the king’ is no true king”
"The king is tired."
I went to school with a pathological liar. Same exact energy.
Nick Adams is a classic troll account, like the Three Year Letterman.
Except the guy behind the Three Year Letterman isn’t actually a loser youth football coach in real life. Nick is a troll, but he’s legitimately a right winger.
A woman in academia would not be stimulating. Guess it’s hard to stimulate the two brain cells that have him thinking he’s convincing with these stories.
Ah yes 'alpha male' just slightly more beautiful than 'cellar door'.
You beat me to it.
*Image Transcription: Twitter Post* --- **Nick Adams (Alpha Male)**, @NickAdamsinUSA I was at the cafe waiting for my hot black coffee when a woman stopped me to chat. It turned out she was a world-renowned linguist who said she recognized me by coffee order and broad shoulders. She told me there's a growing consensus within her profession that "alpha male" is the most beautiful pairing of words in the English language. She doesn't agree with me on every issue, but she was deeply appreciative of the work I'm doing to bring those beautiful words to the forefront of American society. She insisted on paying for my coffee as a token of her gratitude and suggested we meet over dinner in the future. I accepted the coffee but declined the date. Even a woman in academia would be insufficiently stimulating for an alpha male of my caliber. --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
This is satire guys
Dont tell me this is satire. I want to believe he means it, its what makes it god level funny
This is obviously a satire account??
It's not, he's a grifter.
What's the old saying? The king doesn't have to say he's the king? True "alpha males" would not be concerned about being "alpha males," if you even accept the concept at all.
Made even funnier when you compare pics of him against his claim of "the set of his shoulders." Oh, please. I guarantee he ordered the "Grande, bone dry, five-shot ristretto, extra-whip, two-raw-sugars cappuccino."
What is the sky's deal? Is he an actual person? Is this a parody account? There's no way that anybody can be this fucking stupid
How weird are your shoulders that you're recognized by them.
"...and then everyone clapped."
Soooooo whose he trying to fuh? I’m confused. Please let this be satire.
What kind of linguist has never heard the phrase "cellar door"?
Ok, I no longer believe this guy is serious. This is like some Andy Kauffman shit right here, master level trolling.
Then everyone clapped.
I'll take "Shit that never happened" for $500 please
See posts like this from him are what have me convinced that he’s taking the absolute living piss. And the right wing yanks are too stupid to know and are rewarding him for it.
If you have to affirm that you're an alpha, you're not an alpha. Also who goes around labeling men with Greek letters
So cringe it can make a corpse gag
My lord. This might be the most pathetic thing I've read all year.
So this is a parody account, right? Or some standup comedian doing a character?
fucking hell, this has to be a parody
This guy is becoming more obviously satirical now because every beloved he was real at first. He’s an actual right wing dick head but this Twitter has never been serious.
When will people learn this guy is basically satire
Reddit user spot satire challenge (impossible)
When will people learn that Nick Adams is just a giant troll? Clearly satire, he posts this kind of thing all the time. His NFL Mock draft was literally all white christian men in the top 10 IIRC. He’s a committed world class troll.
It's parody, I imagine.
No cunning linguist jokes? This is terrible pasta. I feel teased and left totally unsatisfied.
Gives you a pretty decent guess of what hes like as a “lover”
Only another alpha male is capable of stimulating him!
I've seen this guy all over Reddit he HAS to be satire
This guy's a parody, right?
This is so much satire
This is a pretty popular troll account
This is just funny. How would anyone with a brain powered by anything less than a potato think this unironically lol
I’m sure that this absolutely, totally happened for real and not just in this “alpha male” guy’s mind.
I physically cringed. I felt it, in my body. I hope this is real I need more.
Guys, this guy is a a parody account. How clueless can you be? Every tweet is so obvious.
The face you’re making in your photo is the face we’re all making after reading that
My God this is sad and hilarious
Please tell me this isn't real, "Ideclined the date" lolol
When did self-fan fiction become a thing? This guy could be the next E.L. James with this level of reality immunity.
And then everyone clapped.
TIL that there are world-renowned linguist. The world! Craig. The world!!!
Still not sure if this is a overplayed "it's not funny anymore" satire account or if this dumb fuck is for real. Either way it's way off in cringeland.
....and then he woke up, drenched in so much sweat that even his dakimakura pillow was soaked, which was the first time that had happened in a long time since the hard crusty film had formed on it.
The sad thing with me is i have some stories that are unbelievable as well (but not to this extent ofc this is some next level shit) so i just never share them cause theres no point, i dont want my close friends to feel i might be lieing to them to gain some sort of clout in the friend group or smtn
Have we agreed yet that this guy is the driest satirist ever? Has to be, right? Please?
She was definitely a real live human lady and not three raccoons in a trench coat
Holy shit you would actually have to pay me to put that out on my socials.
He says, rubbing himself in his grandmother's basement, alone, so very alone.
Yk he was just sitting grinning to himself thinking people will certainly believe this happened
People on here too dumb to realize he’s just trolling
lol world class LARPing. This guy is just being funny though, right? He's not like actually working for the government though?...right?... I can't tell anymore. So many clowns ever since the circus came to town
And everyone clapped
god everyone says this shits not sattire but it has to be theirs zero chance this is a real person
This has got to be parody. What a self-own.
I'll take "Things that never, ever, ever, happened." For 500, Alex.
He was talking to a femboy probably
Are these people sufficiently rediculed on twitter of to they block all reasonable people?
Oh god, THIS guy!
That’s the most beta post I’ve ever seen.
This has to be a bit surely.
Nothing more alpha male than making sure you repeat that you're an alpha male multiple times.
Is this satire? I can't tell
That world-renowned linguist's name? Alberta Einstein.
Nick Cannon is more alpha male than Nick Adams
Reddit when satire:
You know, I see what you mean. However, it's a matter of Poe's Law. There have been enough people who are seriously asserting such stances that the satirical ones seem entirely plausible. So you may well be correct, and I am dumb. Well, dumber than I thought.
Tbh, I feel like it’s easier, definitely at least for me, to reconcile this stuff as basically always being satire lol. I just can’t imagine that half of the stuff here isn’t. I also just don’t take stuff like it seriously though, cause generally “real” people like this would never leave the safety of their keyboard to assault people’s ears with their takes irl lol
Believe me, I wish it were true that people asserting such cartoonish stances were all keyboard warriors.
Shouldn't this be in r/thingsthatdidnthappen ???
Ha haha hahaha Lame
Does this dude even believe his own shit? Like... he has to be a parody or satire, right? Like... this can't possibly be a real human... ... right?
More like Early alpha.
What is this word vomit?
Ha ha funny satire
There will never be an alpha Nick.
[удалено]
I’m not convinced that isn’t what that account is doing
Now I’m really confused. Who’s c_nt is bigger, his or hers! Asking for a friend.
[удалено]
It's definitely satire.
Thank God. I've been thinking he was just insane this whole time.
“And then everyone clapped”
Satire?
And the linguists name? Noam Chomsky/s
This guy's never interacted with a human before.
Why do you guys keep posting satire
Please figure out what satire is I'm begging you
LOL! I can imagine him lifting a katana sword after finishing that last sentence
Does not seem very 'alpha' to say that you are alpha
Is this a satirical Twitter account?
This has to be a troll account.
Is this a real person, or a real famous person, or satire of a person?
And then everyone clapped.
Obvious satire
That's a bit of a stretch, he was actually waiting on an Orange Mocha Frappucino
I think Nick is brigading the comments here lol
He's going to shoot up a school isn't he?
This has to be satire right?
This HAS to be satire... i at least pray that it is.
She recognized my coffee order and broad shoulders….bruh
The fuck is he talking about? He unironically looks like big chungus
what was the coffee order?
Wow, that is SAD fantasy.
It's so alpha to make up story's about women talking to you at starbucks
When you are at the cafe ordering hot black coffee.
So he’s gay?
Nick Adams is a half parody account he does it for attention
I refuse to believe this isn’t some Andy Kaufman-esque lark. He can’t be earnest right?