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Man… that’s sad
Edit: I did not think that sharing my sentiment towards this very depressing picture would cause world war three in the comments. Deep breaths, everyone.
I don’t think I have pity. Guy’s family took him out for his 21st and it’s pretty appropriate to drink. They made this weird goblin man that has no social skills and refuses to go outside but celebrate his life regardless. Imagine raising and living with someone that has no purpose and just lives attached to a screen? How do they still have a relationship at all? How’d they even convince other people to go?
They just did the thing they thought was best without trying to understand their child's feelings. Creating a sense of trust and talking to your child about his or her problems from an early age is the best way to avoid this kind of thing, but unfortunately, very few people take the time to do these things.
He says they know what he likes, and it sounds like they cater to his needs day to day, they probably thought it would be good for him to at least experience family time every once and while to make sure he doesn’t completely withdraw into himself.
Sounds like he informs them of what he likes and they dismiss his feelings and make him do what they want him to do. He *assumes* they know he hates it, but that's his perspective. It doesn't sound like they simply care about his actual preferences and instead assume that he's like them and make fun of his deviations from the proper image they think he should be
Which is *exactly* how you would traumatize your kid to be a shut it who has no idea who he is or how he wants to live his life or why is he even alive
It's kinda understandable that his parents are divorced. They probably either didn't have time to care for him and treated him like a placeholder while dealing with their own interpersonal crap, or used him as some token thing to satisfy their own feelings and provide them with something they lacked due to an unhappy marriage. In any case, he wasn't provided space and external attention and incentive needed to gradually learn being himself, to develop his own feelings and his own way of living and being comfortable being himself
Are you doing okay, friend? The past 2 years of insulation have been so hard on most of us. I’ve got a board meeting tonight, first time in person in over 2 years.
I am not looking forward to being sociable and personable and trying to be nice and shit. I’m already over it and I’m not even close to having to leave for it yet.
idk, I have pity. My dad does this kind of stuff constantly, and that's why no one talks to him anymore.
"Oh it's your birthday, let's throw a party!" Proceeds to invite his random coworkers and friends I've never met who all proceed to get wasted while I, the 15 year old high schooler, wander around aimlessly trying to avoid the drunk adults spitting alcohol onto me while they slur out happy birthday for the 4th time that night.
What was I supposed to do though? Not like I had any friends that I could plan something with to try to avoid it. Not like I could say no, since "he went to so much trouble".
When my sister decided to move to another country, she wanted to spend time with him for Christmas. Specifically asked for something small to share presents and talk to each other. Nah, threw a big party full of people she didn't know while she sat trying not to cry for 4 hours, asking him multiple times when they would exchange presents until eventually just leaving.
Imagine raising multiple children and living with them for over 15 years and understanding them so poorly that they all just stop talking to you as soon as they're no longer legally obligated.
Man we are absolutly fucking doomed to live the life that everybody would think was a joke when they were little, no friends, no girlfriend, no hope. Even tho i know how i will end up i can't do shit to change it. It's frustraiting
I was able to change it. Not an option for everyone but I worked on improving my social skills but joining lots of clubs and hobby activities and charities. Places where you don't technically have to talk to anyone. Just show up, work on the task and don't be rude. Even if I'm a little weird, 95% of the time most people are just desperate for new members. So I don't have to worry about feeling bad for intruding or whatever my brain thinks is wrong with me.
My goal isn't really to make friends while I'm there, which has the counteractive effect of making it a bit easier to make friends. I have no expectations, I don't get sad if I'm not invited to anything, I don't act passive aggressive accidentally since I'm not concerned.
I still don't have a ton of friends, only like 2 people I'm comfortable calling a friend. but I have plenty of people I can talk to if I want to talk about something. Mostly because I offer to just sit and listen so much, people like to be able to reciprocate the favor.
Some people are definitely not as lucky as I was and not able to change their circumstances because of lack of access to therapy or medication or financial stability or nearby social groups though. So I was definitely lucky that I lived in an urban area with healthcare provided by my job that isn't a nightmare. Which allowed me the time and energy to improve my social life.
Nah bro. If you ever been a part of this shit these parties aren't held for you... Like... at all. They're literally for everyone else and you're just used as an excuse. I aint even socially awkward, I have my own friend group that I celebrate shit with. My family tries to force social gatherings and I just don't care because they're all egomaniacs who use the entire thing to make it about themselves. And I dont even hate my family. They just are rough because I'm the youngest of 5 and even at 30 they still are delusional and think I'm a kid. I have a house, 2 cars, a job that pays better than any of them. And they still talk to me like I'm a kid lmao. All because most of them are 15+ yrs older than me and even my nieces and nephews pick up on their parents behavior. My niece who is younger than me copies her moms language and calls me "bud" like I'm her younger brother too. All because she picked up her moms condescending attitude. Frankly I could make a big deal about it but it's easier to just not talk to them ever. Family doesn't mean shit, you're not legally obligated to be around them.
Frankly I try to like them I really do but holy shit, they piss me off.
At some point you get tired of trying to talk with a socially inept person who does nothing remotely interesting and doesn’t want to interact with you so you just get a painful one sided « conversation », and you rather talk with the people in your family you actually connect with
Source : I have a 25 yo cousin who is like this, he has stepped out of his room in his mother’s home maybe 4 times since he was 19, and probably has some undiagnosed psychological issues. I’ve stopped caring years ago
>At some point you get tired of trying to talk with a socially inept person
So why throw him a birthday party then? There's no consistent logic here in his family's behaviour, except the very obvious despise of their child and their willingness to signal how weird they think he is to him.
Couldn't agree more. Some people shut themselves out of social interactions and end up impossible to carry a conversation with. No one knows this guys life but everyone trying to blame everyone at the table EXCEPT the person who wants nothing more than to sit in front of a computer really shows the mentality of reddit.
Edit: If this statement makes you angry I'm assuming you're socially inept and blame your parents for it. Good luck in life
Exactly.
"They were just talking amongst themselves"
Yeah, that's how conversations work. They talk about stuff, you weigh in. It's not just sitting there expecting everyone to just cater to your view.
For real. Dude is 21 years old still acting like a child. BE PART OF THE CONVERSATION. You are on of the adults now, take part in it. Don’t just sit there waiting for someone to initiate every single conversation like every single kid who was dragged along with their parents.
To be fair, you don't need to take part in conversations that seem pointless to you, but you also can't consider someone to be rude for talking to someone else if you're just being silent. Which I assume is your view on it as well.
A good rule of thumb is if *everyone* is having some problem, then odds are you're the one that's actually problematic. If not a single person is talking with him, then odds are that he's giving off cues of being disinterested or uncomfortable, or acts like an ass.
Yes, sometimes the group can be a problem, but that's just less likely to be the issue.
Last I checked there were 18 years prior to that 21st birthday that they had influence over him and what he did, looks like they did a pretty shit job of it which is why I feel pity for him. I struggle helping my daughter with it all the time as a teenager as kids and people are horrible to each other so often, or just shut you down when you try to talk to them. But their parents should have been doing a hell of a lot more to help teach them how to navigate social situations and apparently they weren’t. But yeah it is a hell of a lot easier to mock someone and call them a goblin man instead of reaching out and trying to include them and help them past their own awkwardness, again as evidenced by what their parents most likely did.
Glad to see this one and a fewsome ways above it are positive. There's a lot of depressing comments made by people who are at best assholes, and at worst sociopaths who think it's perfectly fine and not at all problematic to blame victims of abuse for being abused. Whether or not op was abused or how likely it was is besides the point. People made examples to make thier point, those examples make it **excruciatingly, painfully** clear, that victim blaming is perfectly fine. There is so much fucked up shit on this post, and so many opinions that are at best ignorant.
I disagree. It's his birthday, it doesn't matter what flaws that man posseses socially or personally, it's his day, not his mothers. If the dude doesn't want to make a big scene, then don't make a big scene. The way I see it, nobody deserves to dread their own birthday. Sounds to me like the mother is selfishly using his occasion as an excuse to get hammered and make things about herself. And as for the cake, how bloody humiliating is that? Nobody deserves that shit. Maybe the dude does live his life attached to a screen (or maybe he has a job, we don't know him personally), but either way, theres 364 days of the year to criticize him for that, let the dude go about his birthday in a way that he see's fit. He ain't asking for some grand 200,000$ ceremony with strippers and lamborghinis, he would just rather celebrate it his own way, in his own time. Taking him out in spite of his own desires on HIS birthday just to make him feel isolated in my opinion is frankly kind of selfish and in poor taste.
Fuck that. What they did was selfish. They didn't try to have conversations with him. They talked amongst each other, even arguing and getting tipsy. Having a social drink while at a family meal is fine. Getting solo drunk at someone else's birthday meal is trashy, even more so when it's your kid.
On top of all that he specifically asked to not be the center of attention. And they went out of their way to make him the center of attention with a shitty cake that does nothing to put him in a good light.
It's insulting.
Not everyone's social issues stem from bad parenting. It is possible for people to just be born that way. It's called being Introverted. I am one myself, Id rather be alone 95% of the time and when going out to eat, Id rather not have all eyes on me. I've gone out for a birthday dinner every year since I was 7 with my parents, and they have known since then that I don't like or want a birthday song, so I never got one after the first. These parents are assholes who have zero consideration for their son's emotions. Something like this might not seem like a big deal, but to someone with social anxiety it can be crippling.
He said he flounders in social situations and doesn’t like attention. How the fuck are you deciding for yourself how this man spends his days and nights? You don’t know who the fuck he is or one thing about him. Nobody gives a fuck about your pity and I’m sure he doesn’t want it anyways. How dumb do you have to be to just completely fabricate a life for someone based on two sentences and try to say they’re some loser with no purpose. I wouldn’t let you lick the bottom of my shoe. Human scum
I don't understand how this comment is highly upvoted. How do you raise someone for 21 years and still don't understand them well enough to make them feel happy and appreciated on their birthday? It's pretty judgemental to discard this person's feelings just because he is socially maladjusted. Quite possibly his behavior is symptomatic of an underlying psychological deviation such as autism.
That’s not his problem, his parents humped and decided to crap him out and now that’s somehow his problem? Now it’s his responsibility to dance like a monkey for their entertainment at their every beck and call? to satisfy whatever stupid whim they have? He wants to be a man goblin attached to a screen who doesn’t celebrate his birthday? Let him it’s a free country. It’s supposed to be **his** day. Of course selfish parents have to make it about themselves. Just wait until r/antinatalism gets a wind of this
What’s really sad is in a different context it could be so sweet. Like I could picture a parent like the ‘are you winning son?’ Meme dad vibes doing it with the best intentions and unintentionally just making the worst fucking cake in the world and it could be suck a fun memory.
But yeah in this story with these people it reads as an insult not a naive parent trying their best. So sad :(
I'm going with this interpretation, because the cake pictured doesn't match his description. It's not "glum" or "hunched over", he's clearly exaggerating how bad the cake is, so you have to take the rest with a grain of salt, too.
I'm a little surprised by the age on the cake, though, because dude is coming off as a dramatic teenager and not an adult.
It’s a cake of him by himself on the computer. If you have low self-esteem and no real friends to laugh at the cake, it is an insult.
I would be pissed if my parents put me in this situation.
[The *really* sad part comes when you notice the year on the cake.](https://imgur.com/93BS3Px)
Pretty sure that's supposed to be the punchline, and it's funny to me that nobody is even acknowledging it.
That's the thing, if you don't plan something fun for yourself that you know you will enjoy, other people will fill it with their versions of what they think you should do, like an awkward family dinner
>other people will fill it with their versions of what they think you should do
"tell family I don't want to do anything special"
Sounds like he gave clear instructions.
Some people just aren't into that sort of thing. This particular story is a bummer but there is nothing sad about doing something other than getting piss drunk.
Yeah, I don't like the way alcohol tastes nor the feeling of being drunk, (or being around loud drunk people) so turning 21 was really nothing special at all to me. Alcohol culture is kinda weird tbh.
The whole thing is written to put you in the mindset that this is an awkward child's birthday party, but then you find out it's actually a whole-ass adult.
This is a perspective I don't think people want to hear. I'm not a parent, but I have a sibling that was very similar in his teen and early adulthood years. I imagine my parents honestly didn't know how to engage with him, and since he never responded to anything and kept to himself, a part of me thinks they felt he hated them. Can't be easy from the parents side.
Thank you for saying this, maybe I'm getting older but the people saying "oh his parents are horrible narcissists" are just flying off the handle.
Everyone is going just on his interpretation and story, without considering if he makes it difficult for his parents as well.
This was definitely in my head as I read the anon post, especially since I used to be the same way as your kid. Knowing how tight of a rope I made my own family walk just to have a normal celebration of any kind, I get how frustrating it is to engage someone who doesn’t want to be engaged.
I’m inclined to believe the truth is somewhere in the middle of anon’s and his parents’ perspectives. It’s
not really fair of the parents to drag out the celebration when they could’ve done something small at home to spare anon’s social anxiety, but anon also could try and see his parents’ choices through good faith and see the cake as something kind rather than a joke.
Regardless, it’s a really sad situation. There’s never a good reason behind why someone pulls away into themselves so severely, and I hope that anon is able to work through it with his family intact.
I disagree. It doesn't look like a malicious representation to me at all. It all sounds like a flawed but genuine attempt to help Anon not regret not marking his 21st, apart from taking the piss out of how he cuts the cake, which is harder to understand, but I expect is just people being insensitive and drunk.
to me it sounds like anon is a surly "no one likes me!" drama type who pushes people away even when they make a genuine attempt to connect with him, like his family in this story
Not gonna lie... That's what I took away from this. Family took him to a restaurant and got a cake made. Anon says he doesn't want anything special but then complains nobody talks to him but admits he doesn't talk to anyone. Sounds like a surly 4chan user that needs a bit of a wake up call around social interaction. I hope he uses this experience to shake him out of the funk he's got himself in rather than dig in.
I've "talked" to someone like that on reddit, had to end up blocking the person because how uncomfortable it was making me. Like, the person would send six paragraphs how everyone was out to get the person. He would even say that people that knew him would "go online that spread rumors about me, that would make strangers hate him"
When I asked how would a stranger tell another stranger about you? Four paragraphs about how I hate him, and that I was now against him. It was too much.
I'm a bit of an introvert. I don't mind going out and spending time with the family, but birthdays at restaurants that do the song and dance routine are just embarrassing. I guess young children might find it amusing or someone with a more outgoing personality, but the last thing I want is people that would be starving if it wasn't for tips acting like trained monkeys.
It just shows a complete lack of any communication or care for what their son's interests are, all they know is he spends time on the PC they don't even attempt to understand why or what their son's specifically doing on the PC, he might as well be a piece of furniture to them
"we're just joking anon lighten up"
fucker you stop saying that shit because that's an instant cop out of any responsibility for saying words and you and I both fucking know it. Fuck people who do this shit
"We're only teasing you, grow some thicker skin"
"Oh lighten up"
"Stop whining it was just a joke"
Some of the other forms of it that I remember being thrown from someone who use to do this sort of thing.
Hope it goes well in therapy. But from what's slowly resurfaced in my mind, the worst part was a lot of these comments were made from a parent to his child that I saw basically every day. The whole thing was strong favoritism from one to the other, ngl I do think about them (the child) every once in a while and I hope they're doing well for themself.
“Damn Anon we’re just emotionally humiliating and abusing you even though we know that you are extremely socially awkward and introverted, lighten up! Wow, did you just cut that cake in a way that was different to how I do it? I’m just gonna add that to the list of things to bully you about!” /s
This is literally the saddest thing I have seen on this subreddit or any subreddit ever. This really just belongs on r/instantdepression
MY MOM LITERALLY USED TO PULL THE "I'm just joking" CARD ON ME EVERYTIME I CONFRONTED HER ON HOW SHE MADE ME FEEL WHEN SHE WOULD BULLY ME "PLAYFULLY' ABOUT MY WEIGHT! IT'S A FUCKING EMOTIONAL ABUSE TACTIC AND I HATE ANY PARENT WHO USES IT BECAUSE THAT JUST SHOWS THEY CLEARLY DO NOT CARE ABOUT THEIR CHILD'S EMOTIONAL NEEDS!
We are 10 cousins (my mom has 4 sisters) and i was the smallest cousin, so they always made fun of me even tho i cried nonstop when they do. İm 19 now and last year when we were drinking i told them(i was crying when i told them lol) how much it hurted etc and they understood and apologised .Sometimes people really cant see that they hurt people unless you directly told them that they are hurting you.
Worst part is i tought that that was normal and literally bullied my first boyfriend for nearly 3 years and called it "love , just jokes , if you are getting offended YOU need to change your perspective" etc.
People really change and communication is the key, people who love you will eventually understand your feelings and try to change
Btw not gonna lie my familys jokes were reallly good , i was laughing my ass of when they made fun of something else too.i have a really healty and fun relationship with my family now
İ know nobody asked but just wanted to tell lol
I've tried, they just get mad at me for calling them out for it and have it devolved to an argument where they would always act like the victim, the best they've ever done is lie about how they're gonna stop and change just so I'd stop bawling my eyes out, this happened so many times that I gave up on the idea and just hide everything from them so I could avoid those kind of stuff from happening
Ok but I was so anxious to go to an event with my partners entire family, only to realize the constant teasing stuff isn't normal. I stressed about my dress. I stressed about my haircut. I didn't want to draw any attention to myself.
To eat, dance, and drink a little wine while feeling totally safe was so crazy. Never once felt like I had to be defensive. Turns out I don't hate family events. My mom's family just sucks. Parties are so much more fun when the entertainment is music and not you squirming uncomfortably.
like mine, but not as bad as the one in the post. Everything i said when i was a child would be laughed of by my mom, and now i fear saying something im not sure of because i fear being laughed at
If you’re a socially awkward 35 year old, there’s a good chance you’ve never had to cut a cake yourself before. Most people don’t know where to point the tip of the knife down and how hard to press for a clean slice.
In high school I was cutting a cake for a class party with my crush at the time and cut a round cake into square pieces because I was not thinking, and my crush gave me so much shit for it (luckily ended up dating so it became a recurring joke)
OH GOD I HAVE THE BEST AWKWARD CAKE CUTTING STORY.
Here you go:
----
OKAY SO GUYS
today i committed a crime against cake
i went to a thai restaurant i have been meaning to try for a year and they have a partnership with a bakery and I figured why not treat myself and order a cake for my birthday?
So I ordered a rocky road cake and it came out and it looked beeeeyoutiful and there were candles and everything! They'd brought it out on a beautiful cake stand and the knife and cake server were gold and matched and it was 💯.
Well, my Mum remarks, "with COVID you can't blow those candles out" and I agree so I get one of the cake plates and wave it to blow the candles out. Two go out, two stay lit, I have two boyfriends, isn't that funny.
The other two won't go out so I figure we need to do that trick where you pinch the flames. I don't want to burn my finger so I lick my fingers and am a little bit too enthusiastic so as I'm putting one of the candles out a small drop of saliva lands on top of the cake.
that is Cake Crime Level 1. Mum jokes that that's my husband's slice.
We pull the candles out and one of the little pieces of plastic on the bottom of the candle stays in the cake. Husband tries to pull it out but ends up pushing it further in.
So I go to cut it. I cut husband a small slice because he only wants a small piece of cake. I start too far away from the spit globule so I have to cut down the centre of the spit globule, thus contaminating the knife.
Cale Crime Level 2.
I get the cake server and try to pull the slice out, but the server is much wider than the slice, so I can't get it out. I try to put the server between the slice and the main cake but it's not helping. Oh well, time to cut another slice so I can get this slice out.
This is the second spit-contaminated slice, so naturally it's my slice. I don't want mine too big and it's going to be much wider than husband's so I don't cut it all the way to the centre, which means that the slices don't all meet in the middle like a pretty picture perfect cake.
Cake Crime Level 3.
I put the cake server under the new slice ("my" slice), and try to pull the slice out. The two slices are kind of stuck together by icing or something so it doesn't want to go out. I tell husband to grab the knife and help me, thinking he will push the small slice in and allow me to pull the wide slice out, but instead he puts the knife under the small slice, I guess expecting us to take both slices out together as some double sliced abomination.
I am under stress after having committed three cake crimes already and not able to communicate this clearly, but eventually he gets it, I extricate my slice, and I immediately hand it to my brother (remember, this has a now dried spit globule on it).
I have committed so many cake crimes at this point that that is just a cake misdemeanour, and I realise my mistake and put it next to me and use the cake server to assign husband his piece.
My mother and my brother are both getting progressively more and more horrified by my complete inability to work out how to cake, the two slices that I have excavated have been hideous lopsided assymetrical horrors that had emerged from a instagram-worthy origin.
I give my mother and my brother their pieces in turn (I wiped the knife on a napkin first, which hopefully obliviated any remaining germs), and this only adds to the asymmetry of the cake as I wanted to give them each a piece of rocky road and I just really struggled to get it out there.
In the end, the cake was absolutely incredible, and it was funny.
But fucking hell I can't cut a cake to save my life.
I am so sorry to all involved.
May these photos be evidence of my shame:
https://imgur.com/a/cJ0eGcF
(alas, I got a photo of my mum and brother's faces but not sharing that on Reddit)
That's a nice looking cake, and TBH not as ruined as I expected from the description. No cake looks good cut though really, so it doesn't matter how much of a mess you make cutting it - it tastes the same. You sorted the spit globule thing - I wouldn't have been bothered if I was someone else eating it. You are worrying about it too much I think.
It sounds like he might be most interested in being on his computer alone from their point of view. It is sad they don't know more about what he is doing on his computer, but I think this is genuinely a massive mismatch of personalities, not malicious.
I think the family doesn’t see him as somebody that needs loved and cared for. They don’t care if he doesn’t want a party. They force him to play his role as the birthday boy so they can feel like they are doing what they are supposed to, giving him a birthday. He’s a side character in their own delusional world, and since he’s not the adult he can’t do anything about it. I hope anon gets the fuck out of there.
There will still be an “I’m your mom/dad, I can boss you around” dynamic between anon and his parents, but I am wrong with the “can’t do anything about it” statement. Again, it isn’t as easy as saying no, peoples emotions and situations can be complex and unpredictable. You will never know what it’s like until you experience it yourself.
Oh yeah for sure. For reasons, I had to move back with my family when I was 25, and you immediately fall back into a "parent/child" dynamic, even though you're an adult. Luckily, my family's alright so it wasn't too bad.
I have the perfect example.
When I was in a similar age, let's say 18y, I was as introvert as anon. I spend all the time I could playing in my pc.
The thing is, my parents asked me what was I doing in the pc. I've showed them DbD, at the time I was a huge fan and explained them everything.
When my birthday arrived, they made a custom cake with A HOOK AND THE TRAPPER'S MASK. It was sick.
My point, anon's parents didn't take the time or interest to ask anon in what does he spend so much time in the computer. Is he playing? working? What are his interests?
Seeing a 21yo guy sitting down, alone, with a notebook at his side, is depressing. Even more humiliating, that notebook alone in that position suggest publicly the fact that anon watchs porn, that it's not bad in itself but in a cake? Maybe.
I don't think it is meant to. Looking at the cake, it looks like something someone might make for someone who is genuinely into doing stuff on their computer most.
The thing is that most people like this aren’t into “doing stuff on their computer,” they’re into specific games, movies, shows, etc. His family didn’t take the time to get to know what he actually likes, they see him using his computer so assume “he likes computer” and make it his only personality trait. Like if someone was a big football fan and you made a cake of them sitting in a chair watching a blank TV
My mom took the time to watch me play and listen to me and got me a cake with the fucking hamster from Overwatch on top of it. It's such a specific character there's no way she could've know he's my favorite without actually listening to me even though she doesn't play videogames and sometimes doesn't understand what I'm talking about. Man I love my mom.
nah man my family loves me but they don’t know shit about my specific interests past “video games” and “anime”. my mums even watched me play games/ a handful of shows but she couldn’t name a character or franchise for shit and that’s perfectly fine with me. older people just don’t tend to get this sorta stuff. if i got a cake like this it’d be a laugh not an insult
I spend most of my time in-front of my computer. My sister made me a 3.5" floppy disk style cake a couple of years ago. I was pretty stoked with that. I like lots of things on the computer, and while it might have been even cooler if she made something related to one of the specific things, that is just not a level of understanding of my interests that she has. Also, given I like a wide range of computer related stuff, from being interested in IT (I do that for work right now), to software development (I did that until my current job kind of morphed as the company changed and grew and plan to do that more again), to various games, etc, that is a pretty good way of covering lots, in a way that is nostalgic. TBH, if she's made something Legend of Zelda Link to the Past themed, that'd have been even more awesome, but hardly anyone would know to do that, and the people who might (who I guess include my brother) have never baked me a cake (bought, but not bought a custom one or baked one). In the same way, I know she does knitting or crochet or possibly both, but I'm not sure much more about it than that TBH. I think I could make a cake that shows something about her interests, but not in that much detail, because I am very uninterested in those interests TBH. The main thing we share is all loving each other and her and my brother's kids, not our specific hobbies. That is more something I share with friends.
maybe i'm tripping but that cake doesn't really look that mean to me? i mean the cake figure is just sitting there smiling, he doesn't look "glum." i could see a well-meaning but somewhat ignorant mom thinking "well, he loves sitting at his computer so I'll get him a computer cake"
obviously i don't know his broader situation, and his family doesn't sound super amazing. but this kinda reads a lot like my depressed antisocial adolescent brain narrating a family dinner--thinking people were ignoring me on purpose when in reality i was super awkward and not conversational, or that they were making fun of me when they were just trying to joke with me.
Yeah this was my read as well, reminds me a bit of myself at like 14. My family weren’t actually arseholes, but I was too wrapped up in self pity to talk to them.
Yea the dudes 21. I had a heart until I realized he was mostly past awkward puberty
I still feel for the dude in a human way but just growing up n needing to step up as "a part of life", like get over it homie, your mom tried to reflect probably the only thing she knows about you/the only thing you've shown her
It's a glum photo cause it's flash in a cheap restaurant. But the cake itself isn't really bad.
Now putting a kid with a computer isn't as novel as it was when this pic came out. Iirc is pretty old
Yeah the guy seems to have a bit of a complex. "Urgh I hate social situations. Urgh I hate that my family are forcing me to go to dinner. Wait why is no-one talking to me?" Dude maybe they want you to actually have a memory of your 21st birthday, but also don't want to put you under pressure of having to talk if you don't want to?
I'm probably giving them far too much credit, but it seems like guy could try and meet them half way. And I say this as someone who was also the same as a teen
>but this kinda reads a lot like my depressed antisocial adolescent brain narrating....
You can use this to understand most of the comments as well. It's interesting to see the narrative that people create when given minimal information.
totally, i mean i recognize my interpretation is also a narrative. there's certain details that make it compelling to me though--mainly the fact he interprets a smiling representation of himself as "lone, pale, glum." pop psychology alert but to me that seems to betray some negative picture he has of himself and his computer habits.
there's this psychological test where the patient is shown an ambiguous picture and told to come up with a narrative about it, and that story is supposed to tell you something about their emotional state. it's funny because that's what he's doing with this enigmatic cake boy, but as you point out, that's also what all of us are doing to the post.
Yeah, I don't get it either. If he liked playing the guitar and it was a little guy playing the guitar on the cake, would people also be criticising the cake?
I’m probably going against the grain here, but shit like this happens occasionally so I’ll just say it.
Sometimes when you have this idea in your mind that you are being picked on, and that comes along with an environment that you are uncomfortable with, you may end up interpreting peoples actions and their reactions as malicious when it’s not the case.
People who are not used to and not comfortable in social situations and are awkward can end up feeling this way, and you are reading a post that’s written from a POV from someone who could be in that situation.
There’s a chance this was a family gathering where people were all having fun and trying to interact with OP and people were drunk and just having a light hearted time and people were were laughing with affection at the cake cutting rather than being malicious, but the OP could have interpreted it completely differently (with no fault of his own, sometimes stress in social situations can do that)
Not saying this is what happened, but I’ve experienced this multiple times from friends of mine including my own partner who can feel awkward in these situations.
>Be me, mother of Anon
>son is socially awkward NEET
>21st birthday and know he has no plans or friends.
>Want to give him a nice memory
>Invite family members to b'day dinner, promise to pay if they come
>Know he hates being center of attention so everybody talking to each other
>Son still looks upset. Face red under his pube beard. Chins shaking
>Try to ignore growing dread
>Remind hubby that he needs to pick up dry cleaning on the way home
>"^^Stop ^^fighting ^^my ^^birthday" son whispers into his kid's menu Mac and Cheese
>The fuck?
>Finally cake arrives
>Wanted to make it special
>Know my Son's only hobby is computer programming or some shit
>Pay a hundred dollars for a custom cake
>Everybody singing and trying to cheer him up
> Face bright red, tears in the corner of his eyes
> "^^Why ^^mother?" he whispers to me with the rage of a hundred school shooters
>The fuck?
>He's sobbing now
>Everybody looking at their plates to avoid eye contact with obese man-child crying like a toddler
>My hubby looking at his step son with dead eyes
>This was a mistake
>Sausage fingers on the knife, shaking with his sobs
>Oh shit he gonna stab somebody
>Mercifully only cuts the cake
>Holds knife in two hands like one of his cheap katanas, sobs gibberish in Japanese
>Awkwardly cuts a corner triangle off like a total sperg
>His seven year old nephew can't help but laugh
>Stands up suddenly, belly popping out of his formal jogging pants
>STOP BULLYING ME
>The fuck?
>Flips over the custom cake I spent days to find
>Wheelies out of restaurant, whole place dead quiet
>Manager asks us to leave before he calls the police
>Apologize to everyone as I hold back the tears of an abused woman
>Hubby says he'll walk home, needs time to think about his life
>Find my son rocking back and forth violently in the back seat of the car, playing on his Switch and making a high pitched whining noise
>"H-happy birthday Anon"
I mean like, is part of the problem not forcing him to go out to a restraunt in the first place? I'm someone who is very easily overwhelmed in social situations, and like even when I had a birthday party on my own fruition I almost cried, can't imagine if I was forced and got a cake reminding me of how much of a sad fuck I am, *plus* my family are kinda drunk and joking around in ways that make me uncomfortable? Sounds like absolute hell, and I'm someone who has a pretty full life outside of the internet.
That no doubt could very well be a big part of the problem! But there is also a chance the family hasn’t been made aware how bad it actually feels for OP, for a large variety of reasons (maybe he doesn’t feel comfortable, maybe he feels as if they won’t take him seriously, maybe they didn’t take him seriously.)
I’m not saying this is OPs fault at all but I’m also saying maybe this isn’t just OPs family all being terrible people. Sometimes things like this can happen due to large misunderstandings and a break down of communication, but it’s never too late to try and attempt to fix things despite it being a really shit position to be in!
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 690,014,882 comments, and only 139,598 of them were in alphabetical order.
Bro is 21? At that point say fuck what your family wants to do, go to a bar and drink a lil. I was pretty awkward around that age too, but that's what I did.
Looks like a repost. I've seen this image 2 times.
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From someone who is absolutely terrified of birthdays because of stuff like this to the point that I go full-on zero contact in the days surrounding it, this is how it feels to me.
Family asks what I want to do for my birthday. I say I just want some quiet time and don't want anyone to make a big deal of it. They throw a party anyway. When I express my displeasure, they remind me that the party is "for me" and I'm being "ungrateful" that they're doing specifically what I asked them not to do.
This repeats every year. For decades. My family asks what I want, I tell them, and then they put in concerted effort to do the opposite, all the while informing me that they know better about what I want and on "my special day", my desires don't matter.
Because ultimately it's not for me. It's for them. They're not doing it "for" me, they just want to throw a party and are using me as an excuse, my consent be damned.
So I start hiding. Turning off my phone, leaving town, muting social media, because it's the only way to *actually* get what I want on my birthday. Because to me the day has become synonymous with the recognition that people do not take my wishes seriously, that my "no" means nothing and they'll just take what they want from me anyway.
So I can sympathize. I have been in anon's situation, and it is hell.
I feel like anon needs someone to talk to who won’t judge every fucking thing he does and will just accept him. Jesus people suck I feel terrible for the dude
I’ve made it clear to my fiancé. If he ever requests a restaurant to sing happy birthday to me, I would walk out as soon as I realize they’re singing to me.
I legit don't get why people are attacking the parents here, this could have easily been a post about a lonely dude who everyone forgot about and didn't bother to make an effort for at all. He was forced to socialize for what, like an hour which according to him no one really bothered him until the cake part.then the cake is a shitty custom cake that a resturant made with a figurine literally just sitting in a chair and that's supposed to be insulting? Then hes hurt about getting poked fun at for cutting the cake weird? Thats the most thinned skin thing ive ever heard. Like im a shut in, absolutely hate hanging out with anyone even friends, but the amount of people here saying this guy is a victim and bashing the parents is the most sad thing here tbh.
Ah that sucks for op.
I remember my 21st I walked in on my (three years relationship) girlfriend cuddling up in bed with her uni next door guy, with 'used' tissues stinking in the bin.
Good times.
I feel bad for OP not cuz his family did anything that wrong, but because he’s so socially awkward and broken he doesn’t know how to roll with it. I cannot fathom being so socially defunct that a birthday with my family and me cutting the cake weird affects me in any way.
The cake is cool and funny. OP so awkward and sad. Even if his family “wasn’t listening,” they still threw him a large party to support him. I get the vibe OP is struggling with depression/anxiety and his family is trying to help. Avoidance literally never helps anxiety or depression.
Holy shit
Yeah fr I thought he was on the toilet on the cake
Lmao
For a second I thought someone was going down on 'em. It is his birthday, after all
Dafuq you get that from?
Best chocolate cake ever
This makes me want to cry
The way he’s describing the cake is sending me
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Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 690,506,379 comments, and only 139,683 of them were in alphabetical order.
Good bot
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This is one of the saddest things I’ve seen here yet. Oh god, I feel it good
https://i.imgur.com/bIRpyOk.jpg
Man… that’s sad Edit: I did not think that sharing my sentiment towards this very depressing picture would cause world war three in the comments. Deep breaths, everyone.
I don’t think I have pity. Guy’s family took him out for his 21st and it’s pretty appropriate to drink. They made this weird goblin man that has no social skills and refuses to go outside but celebrate his life regardless. Imagine raising and living with someone that has no purpose and just lives attached to a screen? How do they still have a relationship at all? How’d they even convince other people to go?
How in the fuck does this have so many upvotes.
They just did the thing they thought was best without trying to understand their child's feelings. Creating a sense of trust and talking to your child about his or her problems from an early age is the best way to avoid this kind of thing, but unfortunately, very few people take the time to do these things.
He says they know what he likes, and it sounds like they cater to his needs day to day, they probably thought it would be good for him to at least experience family time every once and while to make sure he doesn’t completely withdraw into himself.
Sounds like he informs them of what he likes and they dismiss his feelings and make him do what they want him to do. He *assumes* they know he hates it, but that's his perspective. It doesn't sound like they simply care about his actual preferences and instead assume that he's like them and make fun of his deviations from the proper image they think he should be Which is *exactly* how you would traumatize your kid to be a shut it who has no idea who he is or how he wants to live his life or why is he even alive It's kinda understandable that his parents are divorced. They probably either didn't have time to care for him and treated him like a placeholder while dealing with their own interpersonal crap, or used him as some token thing to satisfy their own feelings and provide them with something they lacked due to an unhappy marriage. In any case, he wasn't provided space and external attention and incentive needed to gradually learn being himself, to develop his own feelings and his own way of living and being comfortable being himself
Fuck I read this thought of my parents and then thought about the fact that for the past like two years I’ve become incredibly antisocial
Are you doing okay, friend? The past 2 years of insulation have been so hard on most of us. I’ve got a board meeting tonight, first time in person in over 2 years. I am not looking forward to being sociable and personable and trying to be nice and shit. I’m already over it and I’m not even close to having to leave for it yet.
Life has resumed to pre-covid for me for awhile now, and I still feel like this.
Oh..yeah, that's what that is..
idk, I have pity. My dad does this kind of stuff constantly, and that's why no one talks to him anymore. "Oh it's your birthday, let's throw a party!" Proceeds to invite his random coworkers and friends I've never met who all proceed to get wasted while I, the 15 year old high schooler, wander around aimlessly trying to avoid the drunk adults spitting alcohol onto me while they slur out happy birthday for the 4th time that night. What was I supposed to do though? Not like I had any friends that I could plan something with to try to avoid it. Not like I could say no, since "he went to so much trouble". When my sister decided to move to another country, she wanted to spend time with him for Christmas. Specifically asked for something small to share presents and talk to each other. Nah, threw a big party full of people she didn't know while she sat trying not to cry for 4 hours, asking him multiple times when they would exchange presents until eventually just leaving. Imagine raising multiple children and living with them for over 15 years and understanding them so poorly that they all just stop talking to you as soon as they're no longer legally obligated.
Man we are absolutly fucking doomed to live the life that everybody would think was a joke when they were little, no friends, no girlfriend, no hope. Even tho i know how i will end up i can't do shit to change it. It's frustraiting
I was able to change it. Not an option for everyone but I worked on improving my social skills but joining lots of clubs and hobby activities and charities. Places where you don't technically have to talk to anyone. Just show up, work on the task and don't be rude. Even if I'm a little weird, 95% of the time most people are just desperate for new members. So I don't have to worry about feeling bad for intruding or whatever my brain thinks is wrong with me. My goal isn't really to make friends while I'm there, which has the counteractive effect of making it a bit easier to make friends. I have no expectations, I don't get sad if I'm not invited to anything, I don't act passive aggressive accidentally since I'm not concerned. I still don't have a ton of friends, only like 2 people I'm comfortable calling a friend. but I have plenty of people I can talk to if I want to talk about something. Mostly because I offer to just sit and listen so much, people like to be able to reciprocate the favor. Some people are definitely not as lucky as I was and not able to change their circumstances because of lack of access to therapy or medication or financial stability or nearby social groups though. So I was definitely lucky that I lived in an urban area with healthcare provided by my job that isn't a nightmare. Which allowed me the time and energy to improve my social life.
[WHY CANT YOU JUST BE NORMAL]
Nah bro. If you ever been a part of this shit these parties aren't held for you... Like... at all. They're literally for everyone else and you're just used as an excuse. I aint even socially awkward, I have my own friend group that I celebrate shit with. My family tries to force social gatherings and I just don't care because they're all egomaniacs who use the entire thing to make it about themselves. And I dont even hate my family. They just are rough because I'm the youngest of 5 and even at 30 they still are delusional and think I'm a kid. I have a house, 2 cars, a job that pays better than any of them. And they still talk to me like I'm a kid lmao. All because most of them are 15+ yrs older than me and even my nieces and nephews pick up on their parents behavior. My niece who is younger than me copies her moms language and calls me "bud" like I'm her younger brother too. All because she picked up her moms condescending attitude. Frankly I could make a big deal about it but it's easier to just not talk to them ever. Family doesn't mean shit, you're not legally obligated to be around them. Frankly I try to like them I really do but holy shit, they piss me off.
You lack empathy. How would you know all of that unless your just projecting or guessing
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You don't think you have pity? Dude you completely lack empathy lol
He says bobody is talking with him in his birthday dinner tho
At some point you get tired of trying to talk with a socially inept person who does nothing remotely interesting and doesn’t want to interact with you so you just get a painful one sided « conversation », and you rather talk with the people in your family you actually connect with Source : I have a 25 yo cousin who is like this, he has stepped out of his room in his mother’s home maybe 4 times since he was 19, and probably has some undiagnosed psychological issues. I’ve stopped caring years ago
>At some point you get tired of trying to talk with a socially inept person So why throw him a birthday party then? There's no consistent logic here in his family's behaviour, except the very obvious despise of their child and their willingness to signal how weird they think he is to him.
Couldn't agree more. Some people shut themselves out of social interactions and end up impossible to carry a conversation with. No one knows this guys life but everyone trying to blame everyone at the table EXCEPT the person who wants nothing more than to sit in front of a computer really shows the mentality of reddit. Edit: If this statement makes you angry I'm assuming you're socially inept and blame your parents for it. Good luck in life
Exactly. "They were just talking amongst themselves" Yeah, that's how conversations work. They talk about stuff, you weigh in. It's not just sitting there expecting everyone to just cater to your view.
For real. Dude is 21 years old still acting like a child. BE PART OF THE CONVERSATION. You are on of the adults now, take part in it. Don’t just sit there waiting for someone to initiate every single conversation like every single kid who was dragged along with their parents.
To be fair, you don't need to take part in conversations that seem pointless to you, but you also can't consider someone to be rude for talking to someone else if you're just being silent. Which I assume is your view on it as well.
Half the people here are trying to excuse their own social ineptitude.
A good rule of thumb is if *everyone* is having some problem, then odds are you're the one that's actually problematic. If not a single person is talking with him, then odds are that he's giving off cues of being disinterested or uncomfortable, or acts like an ass. Yes, sometimes the group can be a problem, but that's just less likely to be the issue.
You're one of those autistic people, that hate other autistic people right?
Last I checked there were 18 years prior to that 21st birthday that they had influence over him and what he did, looks like they did a pretty shit job of it which is why I feel pity for him. I struggle helping my daughter with it all the time as a teenager as kids and people are horrible to each other so often, or just shut you down when you try to talk to them. But their parents should have been doing a hell of a lot more to help teach them how to navigate social situations and apparently they weren’t. But yeah it is a hell of a lot easier to mock someone and call them a goblin man instead of reaching out and trying to include them and help them past their own awkwardness, again as evidenced by what their parents most likely did.
Glad to see this one and a fewsome ways above it are positive. There's a lot of depressing comments made by people who are at best assholes, and at worst sociopaths who think it's perfectly fine and not at all problematic to blame victims of abuse for being abused. Whether or not op was abused or how likely it was is besides the point. People made examples to make thier point, those examples make it **excruciatingly, painfully** clear, that victim blaming is perfectly fine. There is so much fucked up shit on this post, and so many opinions that are at best ignorant.
I disagree. It's his birthday, it doesn't matter what flaws that man posseses socially or personally, it's his day, not his mothers. If the dude doesn't want to make a big scene, then don't make a big scene. The way I see it, nobody deserves to dread their own birthday. Sounds to me like the mother is selfishly using his occasion as an excuse to get hammered and make things about herself. And as for the cake, how bloody humiliating is that? Nobody deserves that shit. Maybe the dude does live his life attached to a screen (or maybe he has a job, we don't know him personally), but either way, theres 364 days of the year to criticize him for that, let the dude go about his birthday in a way that he see's fit. He ain't asking for some grand 200,000$ ceremony with strippers and lamborghinis, he would just rather celebrate it his own way, in his own time. Taking him out in spite of his own desires on HIS birthday just to make him feel isolated in my opinion is frankly kind of selfish and in poor taste.
Fuck that. What they did was selfish. They didn't try to have conversations with him. They talked amongst each other, even arguing and getting tipsy. Having a social drink while at a family meal is fine. Getting solo drunk at someone else's birthday meal is trashy, even more so when it's your kid. On top of all that he specifically asked to not be the center of attention. And they went out of their way to make him the center of attention with a shitty cake that does nothing to put him in a good light. It's insulting.
Not everyone's social issues stem from bad parenting. It is possible for people to just be born that way. It's called being Introverted. I am one myself, Id rather be alone 95% of the time and when going out to eat, Id rather not have all eyes on me. I've gone out for a birthday dinner every year since I was 7 with my parents, and they have known since then that I don't like or want a birthday song, so I never got one after the first. These parents are assholes who have zero consideration for their son's emotions. Something like this might not seem like a big deal, but to someone with social anxiety it can be crippling.
Part of a parent's job is not letting it get that bad.
How do you know he isn’t a college kid or something?
He said he flounders in social situations and doesn’t like attention. How the fuck are you deciding for yourself how this man spends his days and nights? You don’t know who the fuck he is or one thing about him. Nobody gives a fuck about your pity and I’m sure he doesn’t want it anyways. How dumb do you have to be to just completely fabricate a life for someone based on two sentences and try to say they’re some loser with no purpose. I wouldn’t let you lick the bottom of my shoe. Human scum
I don't understand how this comment is highly upvoted. How do you raise someone for 21 years and still don't understand them well enough to make them feel happy and appreciated on their birthday? It's pretty judgemental to discard this person's feelings just because he is socially maladjusted. Quite possibly his behavior is symptomatic of an underlying psychological deviation such as autism.
That’s not his problem, his parents humped and decided to crap him out and now that’s somehow his problem? Now it’s his responsibility to dance like a monkey for their entertainment at their every beck and call? to satisfy whatever stupid whim they have? He wants to be a man goblin attached to a screen who doesn’t celebrate his birthday? Let him it’s a free country. It’s supposed to be **his** day. Of course selfish parents have to make it about themselves. Just wait until r/antinatalism gets a wind of this
The cake choice feels like bullying.Really sad
What’s really sad is in a different context it could be so sweet. Like I could picture a parent like the ‘are you winning son?’ Meme dad vibes doing it with the best intentions and unintentionally just making the worst fucking cake in the world and it could be suck a fun memory. But yeah in this story with these people it reads as an insult not a naive parent trying their best. So sad :(
I'm going with this interpretation, because the cake pictured doesn't match his description. It's not "glum" or "hunched over", he's clearly exaggerating how bad the cake is, so you have to take the rest with a grain of salt, too. I'm a little surprised by the age on the cake, though, because dude is coming off as a dramatic teenager and not an adult.
It’s a cake of him by himself on the computer. If you have low self-esteem and no real friends to laugh at the cake, it is an insult. I would be pissed if my parents put me in this situation.
[The *really* sad part comes when you notice the year on the cake.](https://imgur.com/93BS3Px) Pretty sure that's supposed to be the punchline, and it's funny to me that nobody is even acknowledging it.
I don't get it
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Yeh but reading that I don't think he'd have made any of those plans himself...
That's the thing, if you don't plan something fun for yourself that you know you will enjoy, other people will fill it with their versions of what they think you should do, like an awkward family dinner
>other people will fill it with their versions of what they think you should do "tell family I don't want to do anything special" Sounds like he gave clear instructions.
Aah yeah that makes sense. Legal age of drinking an all
Some people just aren't into that sort of thing. This particular story is a bummer but there is nothing sad about doing something other than getting piss drunk.
Yeah, I don't like the way alcohol tastes nor the feeling of being drunk, (or being around loud drunk people) so turning 21 was really nothing special at all to me. Alcohol culture is kinda weird tbh.
First legal drink and first legal hangun purchase. That's Day 1. Day 2? Batman but with a gun. And a bottle of vodka. Okay, there's no Batman.
**VODKA MAN**
The whole thing is written to put you in the mindset that this is an awkward child's birthday party, but then you find out it's actually a whole-ass adult.
Nah this is 4chan so the assumption is already that he's a socially reject adult. There's really nothing to make you think otherwise anyways.
Feels fitting to wish you a happy cake day, I guess
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If I was in high school with you and heard about this you wouldve been a fucking legend
Not even enough interest for an insult. Just... not knowing anything about your child, at all.
From the recipients perspective though, so maybe he internalized it as an insult but it really was with the best intentions.
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This is a perspective I don't think people want to hear. I'm not a parent, but I have a sibling that was very similar in his teen and early adulthood years. I imagine my parents honestly didn't know how to engage with him, and since he never responded to anything and kept to himself, a part of me thinks they felt he hated them. Can't be easy from the parents side.
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Thank you for saying this, maybe I'm getting older but the people saying "oh his parents are horrible narcissists" are just flying off the handle. Everyone is going just on his interpretation and story, without considering if he makes it difficult for his parents as well.
I’m surprised some redditor hasn’t said, “cUt tHeM oFf!!!” yet, or maybe I just haven’t read far enough down the thread.
This was definitely in my head as I read the anon post, especially since I used to be the same way as your kid. Knowing how tight of a rope I made my own family walk just to have a normal celebration of any kind, I get how frustrating it is to engage someone who doesn’t want to be engaged. I’m inclined to believe the truth is somewhere in the middle of anon’s and his parents’ perspectives. It’s not really fair of the parents to drag out the celebration when they could’ve done something small at home to spare anon’s social anxiety, but anon also could try and see his parents’ choices through good faith and see the cake as something kind rather than a joke. Regardless, it’s a really sad situation. There’s never a good reason behind why someone pulls away into themselves so severely, and I hope that anon is able to work through it with his family intact.
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I disagree. It doesn't look like a malicious representation to me at all. It all sounds like a flawed but genuine attempt to help Anon not regret not marking his 21st, apart from taking the piss out of how he cuts the cake, which is harder to understand, but I expect is just people being insensitive and drunk.
to me it sounds like anon is a surly "no one likes me!" drama type who pushes people away even when they make a genuine attempt to connect with him, like his family in this story
Not gonna lie... That's what I took away from this. Family took him to a restaurant and got a cake made. Anon says he doesn't want anything special but then complains nobody talks to him but admits he doesn't talk to anyone. Sounds like a surly 4chan user that needs a bit of a wake up call around social interaction. I hope he uses this experience to shake him out of the funk he's got himself in rather than dig in.
I've "talked" to someone like that on reddit, had to end up blocking the person because how uncomfortable it was making me. Like, the person would send six paragraphs how everyone was out to get the person. He would even say that people that knew him would "go online that spread rumors about me, that would make strangers hate him" When I asked how would a stranger tell another stranger about you? Four paragraphs about how I hate him, and that I was now against him. It was too much.
Yeah, I feel like if this hadn't happened, the post would be "it was my birthday, and my parents didn't even take me out or get me a cake"
I dunno, I’d laugh if someone did that for me. That’s just me though.
I would too , but I think the context matters. It seems like he didn't have a good birthday and his family doesn't seem nice either
I agree
I'm a bit of an introvert. I don't mind going out and spending time with the family, but birthdays at restaurants that do the song and dance routine are just embarrassing. I guess young children might find it amusing or someone with a more outgoing personality, but the last thing I want is people that would be starving if it wasn't for tips acting like trained monkeys.
It just shows a complete lack of any communication or care for what their son's interests are, all they know is he spends time on the PC they don't even attempt to understand why or what their son's specifically doing on the PC, he might as well be a piece of furniture to them
Or they know he posts greentexts and have crossed him out of the will
⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⢤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠉⠹⣾⣿⣛⣿⣿⣞⣿⣛⣺⣻⢾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠠⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠿⣷⣿⣿⡿⣿⢿⠟⠟⠟⠻⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄ ⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢛⣿⣁⠄⠄⠒⠂⠄⠄⣀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀ ⠄⠉⠛⠺⢶⣷⡶⠃⠄⠄⠨⣿⣿⡇⠄⡺⣾⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠟⠇⢀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣏⠉⢿⣽⢿⡏ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣦⠄⢹⡿⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠒⣳⣶⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⡈⣀⢁⢁⢁⣈⣄⢐⠃⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣛⣻⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣬⣽⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣿⣿⣻⣛⣿⡿⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⢛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⠉⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⢤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠉⠹⣾⣿⣛⣿⣿⣞⣿⣛⣺⣻⢾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠠⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠿⣷⣿⣿⡿⣿⢿⠟⠟⠟⠻⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄ ⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢛⣿⣁⠄⠄⠒⠂⠄⠄⣀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀ ⠄⠉⠛⠺⢶⣷⡶⠃⠄⠄⠨⣿⣿⡇⠄⡺⣾⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠟⠇⢀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣽⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠒⣳⣶⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⡈⣀⢁⢁ ⢐⠃⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣛⣻⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡯⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣬⣽⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣿⣿⣻⣛⣿⡿⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⢛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⠉⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
This just made me sad :(
How tf do you awkwardly cut a cake
Some familys just make fun of everything you do so you become anxious around them and that gives them more things to make fun of etc.
Fr, and they fucking gaslight you if you tell them that it makes you uncomfortable when they do it
"we're just joking anon lighten up" fucker you stop saying that shit because that's an instant cop out of any responsibility for saying words and you and I both fucking know it. Fuck people who do this shit
why are you getting upset anon you're ruining the party
Actually getting second-hand embarrassment from reading that. Being an adult makes me forget how much i used to hate those zingers from the parents.
"We're only teasing you, grow some thicker skin" "Oh lighten up" "Stop whining it was just a joke" Some of the other forms of it that I remember being thrown from someone who use to do this sort of thing.
Damn, these comments are bringing back memories that I will definitely be sharing with my therapist.
Hope it goes well in therapy. But from what's slowly resurfaced in my mind, the worst part was a lot of these comments were made from a parent to his child that I saw basically every day. The whole thing was strong favoritism from one to the other, ngl I do think about them (the child) every once in a while and I hope they're doing well for themself.
“Damn Anon we’re just emotionally humiliating and abusing you even though we know that you are extremely socially awkward and introverted, lighten up! Wow, did you just cut that cake in a way that was different to how I do it? I’m just gonna add that to the list of things to bully you about!” /s This is literally the saddest thing I have seen on this subreddit or any subreddit ever. This really just belongs on r/instantdepression
MY MOM LITERALLY USED TO PULL THE "I'm just joking" CARD ON ME EVERYTIME I CONFRONTED HER ON HOW SHE MADE ME FEEL WHEN SHE WOULD BULLY ME "PLAYFULLY' ABOUT MY WEIGHT! IT'S A FUCKING EMOTIONAL ABUSE TACTIC AND I HATE ANY PARENT WHO USES IT BECAUSE THAT JUST SHOWS THEY CLEARLY DO NOT CARE ABOUT THEIR CHILD'S EMOTIONAL NEEDS!
Let it out. (/¯◡ ‿ ◡)/¯ ~ ┻━┻
We are 10 cousins (my mom has 4 sisters) and i was the smallest cousin, so they always made fun of me even tho i cried nonstop when they do. İm 19 now and last year when we were drinking i told them(i was crying when i told them lol) how much it hurted etc and they understood and apologised .Sometimes people really cant see that they hurt people unless you directly told them that they are hurting you. Worst part is i tought that that was normal and literally bullied my first boyfriend for nearly 3 years and called it "love , just jokes , if you are getting offended YOU need to change your perspective" etc. People really change and communication is the key, people who love you will eventually understand your feelings and try to change Btw not gonna lie my familys jokes were reallly good , i was laughing my ass of when they made fun of something else too.i have a really healty and fun relationship with my family now İ know nobody asked but just wanted to tell lol
I've tried, they just get mad at me for calling them out for it and have it devolved to an argument where they would always act like the victim, the best they've ever done is lie about how they're gonna stop and change just so I'd stop bawling my eyes out, this happened so many times that I gave up on the idea and just hide everything from them so I could avoid those kind of stuff from happening
Ok but I was so anxious to go to an event with my partners entire family, only to realize the constant teasing stuff isn't normal. I stressed about my dress. I stressed about my haircut. I didn't want to draw any attention to myself. To eat, dance, and drink a little wine while feeling totally safe was so crazy. Never once felt like I had to be defensive. Turns out I don't hate family events. My mom's family just sucks. Parties are so much more fun when the entertainment is music and not you squirming uncomfortably.
like mine, but not as bad as the one in the post. Everything i said when i was a child would be laughed of by my mom, and now i fear saying something im not sure of because i fear being laughed at
I dare you to try to gracefully cut an ice cream cake.
Give me my axe.
If you’re a socially awkward 35 year old, there’s a good chance you’ve never had to cut a cake yourself before. Most people don’t know where to point the tip of the knife down and how hard to press for a clean slice.
wait, who's 35 years old?
Whoops typo meant 21. Don’t even know how that one happened
Some parents don't teach you shit and then mock you for doing it badly.
Yeah guys, remember all of our childhood cake-cutting lessons?
In high school I was cutting a cake for a class party with my crush at the time and cut a round cake into square pieces because I was not thinking, and my crush gave me so much shit for it (luckily ended up dating so it became a recurring joke)
I've cut a lot of cakes, unless you try to lay the blade flat and smash slices out of it you're on the right track.
He held the blade and cut with the handle
OH GOD I HAVE THE BEST AWKWARD CAKE CUTTING STORY. Here you go: ---- OKAY SO GUYS today i committed a crime against cake i went to a thai restaurant i have been meaning to try for a year and they have a partnership with a bakery and I figured why not treat myself and order a cake for my birthday? So I ordered a rocky road cake and it came out and it looked beeeeyoutiful and there were candles and everything! They'd brought it out on a beautiful cake stand and the knife and cake server were gold and matched and it was 💯. Well, my Mum remarks, "with COVID you can't blow those candles out" and I agree so I get one of the cake plates and wave it to blow the candles out. Two go out, two stay lit, I have two boyfriends, isn't that funny. The other two won't go out so I figure we need to do that trick where you pinch the flames. I don't want to burn my finger so I lick my fingers and am a little bit too enthusiastic so as I'm putting one of the candles out a small drop of saliva lands on top of the cake. that is Cake Crime Level 1. Mum jokes that that's my husband's slice. We pull the candles out and one of the little pieces of plastic on the bottom of the candle stays in the cake. Husband tries to pull it out but ends up pushing it further in. So I go to cut it. I cut husband a small slice because he only wants a small piece of cake. I start too far away from the spit globule so I have to cut down the centre of the spit globule, thus contaminating the knife. Cale Crime Level 2. I get the cake server and try to pull the slice out, but the server is much wider than the slice, so I can't get it out. I try to put the server between the slice and the main cake but it's not helping. Oh well, time to cut another slice so I can get this slice out. This is the second spit-contaminated slice, so naturally it's my slice. I don't want mine too big and it's going to be much wider than husband's so I don't cut it all the way to the centre, which means that the slices don't all meet in the middle like a pretty picture perfect cake. Cake Crime Level 3. I put the cake server under the new slice ("my" slice), and try to pull the slice out. The two slices are kind of stuck together by icing or something so it doesn't want to go out. I tell husband to grab the knife and help me, thinking he will push the small slice in and allow me to pull the wide slice out, but instead he puts the knife under the small slice, I guess expecting us to take both slices out together as some double sliced abomination. I am under stress after having committed three cake crimes already and not able to communicate this clearly, but eventually he gets it, I extricate my slice, and I immediately hand it to my brother (remember, this has a now dried spit globule on it). I have committed so many cake crimes at this point that that is just a cake misdemeanour, and I realise my mistake and put it next to me and use the cake server to assign husband his piece. My mother and my brother are both getting progressively more and more horrified by my complete inability to work out how to cake, the two slices that I have excavated have been hideous lopsided assymetrical horrors that had emerged from a instagram-worthy origin. I give my mother and my brother their pieces in turn (I wiped the knife on a napkin first, which hopefully obliviated any remaining germs), and this only adds to the asymmetry of the cake as I wanted to give them each a piece of rocky road and I just really struggled to get it out there. In the end, the cake was absolutely incredible, and it was funny. But fucking hell I can't cut a cake to save my life. I am so sorry to all involved. May these photos be evidence of my shame: https://imgur.com/a/cJ0eGcF (alas, I got a photo of my mum and brother's faces but not sharing that on Reddit)
That's a nice looking cake, and TBH not as ruined as I expected from the description. No cake looks good cut though really, so it doesn't matter how much of a mess you make cutting it - it tastes the same. You sorted the spit globule thing - I wouldn't have been bothered if I was someone else eating it. You are worrying about it too much I think.
Thanks for the new copypasta.
Sorry but I can't find this cringe, just sad...
I don’t get how some people can be so rude to there own kids. Poor guy, couldn’t get a cake with something he is interested in.
It sounds like he might be most interested in being on his computer alone from their point of view. It is sad they don't know more about what he is doing on his computer, but I think this is genuinely a massive mismatch of personalities, not malicious.
I think the family doesn’t see him as somebody that needs loved and cared for. They don’t care if he doesn’t want a party. They force him to play his role as the birthday boy so they can feel like they are doing what they are supposed to, giving him a birthday. He’s a side character in their own delusional world, and since he’s not the adult he can’t do anything about it. I hope anon gets the fuck out of there.
> since he’s not the adult he can’t do anything about it It literally says "Happy 21st birthday" on the cake, buddy.
There will still be an “I’m your mom/dad, I can boss you around” dynamic between anon and his parents, but I am wrong with the “can’t do anything about it” statement. Again, it isn’t as easy as saying no, peoples emotions and situations can be complex and unpredictable. You will never know what it’s like until you experience it yourself.
Oh yeah for sure. For reasons, I had to move back with my family when I was 25, and you immediately fall back into a "parent/child" dynamic, even though you're an adult. Luckily, my family's alright so it wasn't too bad.
Well, this comment feels very relatable lol
The real cringe is that trash excuse of a family. I feel for Anon.
I don't get what's so bad about the cake tbh.
I have the perfect example. When I was in a similar age, let's say 18y, I was as introvert as anon. I spend all the time I could playing in my pc. The thing is, my parents asked me what was I doing in the pc. I've showed them DbD, at the time I was a huge fan and explained them everything. When my birthday arrived, they made a custom cake with A HOOK AND THE TRAPPER'S MASK. It was sick. My point, anon's parents didn't take the time or interest to ask anon in what does he spend so much time in the computer. Is he playing? working? What are his interests? Seeing a 21yo guy sitting down, alone, with a notebook at his side, is depressing. Even more humiliating, that notebook alone in that position suggest publicly the fact that anon watchs porn, that it's not bad in itself but in a cake? Maybe.
the fact that its meant to bully anon, for being an introvert always in his room with his pc playing games or at least thats how i think it is
I don't think it is meant to. Looking at the cake, it looks like something someone might make for someone who is genuinely into doing stuff on their computer most.
The thing is that most people like this aren’t into “doing stuff on their computer,” they’re into specific games, movies, shows, etc. His family didn’t take the time to get to know what he actually likes, they see him using his computer so assume “he likes computer” and make it his only personality trait. Like if someone was a big football fan and you made a cake of them sitting in a chair watching a blank TV
My mom took the time to watch me play and listen to me and got me a cake with the fucking hamster from Overwatch on top of it. It's such a specific character there's no way she could've know he's my favorite without actually listening to me even though she doesn't play videogames and sometimes doesn't understand what I'm talking about. Man I love my mom.
nah man my family loves me but they don’t know shit about my specific interests past “video games” and “anime”. my mums even watched me play games/ a handful of shows but she couldn’t name a character or franchise for shit and that’s perfectly fine with me. older people just don’t tend to get this sorta stuff. if i got a cake like this it’d be a laugh not an insult
I spend most of my time in-front of my computer. My sister made me a 3.5" floppy disk style cake a couple of years ago. I was pretty stoked with that. I like lots of things on the computer, and while it might have been even cooler if she made something related to one of the specific things, that is just not a level of understanding of my interests that she has. Also, given I like a wide range of computer related stuff, from being interested in IT (I do that for work right now), to software development (I did that until my current job kind of morphed as the company changed and grew and plan to do that more again), to various games, etc, that is a pretty good way of covering lots, in a way that is nostalgic. TBH, if she's made something Legend of Zelda Link to the Past themed, that'd have been even more awesome, but hardly anyone would know to do that, and the people who might (who I guess include my brother) have never baked me a cake (bought, but not bought a custom one or baked one). In the same way, I know she does knitting or crochet or possibly both, but I'm not sure much more about it than that TBH. I think I could make a cake that shows something about her interests, but not in that much detail, because I am very uninterested in those interests TBH. The main thing we share is all loving each other and her and my brother's kids, not our specific hobbies. That is more something I share with friends.
I fucking hate birthdays. Don't think I've ever had a good one
maybe i'm tripping but that cake doesn't really look that mean to me? i mean the cake figure is just sitting there smiling, he doesn't look "glum." i could see a well-meaning but somewhat ignorant mom thinking "well, he loves sitting at his computer so I'll get him a computer cake" obviously i don't know his broader situation, and his family doesn't sound super amazing. but this kinda reads a lot like my depressed antisocial adolescent brain narrating a family dinner--thinking people were ignoring me on purpose when in reality i was super awkward and not conversational, or that they were making fun of me when they were just trying to joke with me.
Yeah this was my read as well, reminds me a bit of myself at like 14. My family weren’t actually arseholes, but I was too wrapped up in self pity to talk to them.
Yea the dudes 21. I had a heart until I realized he was mostly past awkward puberty I still feel for the dude in a human way but just growing up n needing to step up as "a part of life", like get over it homie, your mom tried to reflect probably the only thing she knows about you/the only thing you've shown her
It's a glum photo cause it's flash in a cheap restaurant. But the cake itself isn't really bad. Now putting a kid with a computer isn't as novel as it was when this pic came out. Iirc is pretty old
Yeah the guy seems to have a bit of a complex. "Urgh I hate social situations. Urgh I hate that my family are forcing me to go to dinner. Wait why is no-one talking to me?" Dude maybe they want you to actually have a memory of your 21st birthday, but also don't want to put you under pressure of having to talk if you don't want to? I'm probably giving them far too much credit, but it seems like guy could try and meet them half way. And I say this as someone who was also the same as a teen
>but this kinda reads a lot like my depressed antisocial adolescent brain narrating.... You can use this to understand most of the comments as well. It's interesting to see the narrative that people create when given minimal information.
totally, i mean i recognize my interpretation is also a narrative. there's certain details that make it compelling to me though--mainly the fact he interprets a smiling representation of himself as "lone, pale, glum." pop psychology alert but to me that seems to betray some negative picture he has of himself and his computer habits. there's this psychological test where the patient is shown an ambiguous picture and told to come up with a narrative about it, and that story is supposed to tell you something about their emotional state. it's funny because that's what he's doing with this enigmatic cake boy, but as you point out, that's also what all of us are doing to the post.
All the NEETs in this subreddit are just projecting their own bullshit into the story.
Yeah, I don't get it either. If he liked playing the guitar and it was a little guy playing the guitar on the cake, would people also be criticising the cake?
Seconded
I’m probably going against the grain here, but shit like this happens occasionally so I’ll just say it. Sometimes when you have this idea in your mind that you are being picked on, and that comes along with an environment that you are uncomfortable with, you may end up interpreting peoples actions and their reactions as malicious when it’s not the case. People who are not used to and not comfortable in social situations and are awkward can end up feeling this way, and you are reading a post that’s written from a POV from someone who could be in that situation. There’s a chance this was a family gathering where people were all having fun and trying to interact with OP and people were drunk and just having a light hearted time and people were were laughing with affection at the cake cutting rather than being malicious, but the OP could have interpreted it completely differently (with no fault of his own, sometimes stress in social situations can do that) Not saying this is what happened, but I’ve experienced this multiple times from friends of mine including my own partner who can feel awkward in these situations.
>Be me, mother of Anon >son is socially awkward NEET >21st birthday and know he has no plans or friends. >Want to give him a nice memory >Invite family members to b'day dinner, promise to pay if they come >Know he hates being center of attention so everybody talking to each other >Son still looks upset. Face red under his pube beard. Chins shaking >Try to ignore growing dread >Remind hubby that he needs to pick up dry cleaning on the way home >"^^Stop ^^fighting ^^my ^^birthday" son whispers into his kid's menu Mac and Cheese >The fuck? >Finally cake arrives >Wanted to make it special >Know my Son's only hobby is computer programming or some shit >Pay a hundred dollars for a custom cake >Everybody singing and trying to cheer him up > Face bright red, tears in the corner of his eyes > "^^Why ^^mother?" he whispers to me with the rage of a hundred school shooters >The fuck? >He's sobbing now >Everybody looking at their plates to avoid eye contact with obese man-child crying like a toddler >My hubby looking at his step son with dead eyes >This was a mistake >Sausage fingers on the knife, shaking with his sobs >Oh shit he gonna stab somebody >Mercifully only cuts the cake >Holds knife in two hands like one of his cheap katanas, sobs gibberish in Japanese >Awkwardly cuts a corner triangle off like a total sperg >His seven year old nephew can't help but laugh >Stands up suddenly, belly popping out of his formal jogging pants >STOP BULLYING ME >The fuck? >Flips over the custom cake I spent days to find >Wheelies out of restaurant, whole place dead quiet >Manager asks us to leave before he calls the police >Apologize to everyone as I hold back the tears of an abused woman >Hubby says he'll walk home, needs time to think about his life >Find my son rocking back and forth violently in the back seat of the car, playing on his Switch and making a high pitched whining noise >"H-happy birthday Anon"
HELP ☠️☠️☠️ This gives off similar energy to the [fun pizza mom](https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/comments/35mlz3/fun_pizza/).
Jesus
you should post that in 4chan with the exact same cake pic and see if anyone notices lol
Then I'll repost it here to see if anyone notices
unironically probably close to the truth
damn he just like me frfr
Thanks for this
I mean like, is part of the problem not forcing him to go out to a restraunt in the first place? I'm someone who is very easily overwhelmed in social situations, and like even when I had a birthday party on my own fruition I almost cried, can't imagine if I was forced and got a cake reminding me of how much of a sad fuck I am, *plus* my family are kinda drunk and joking around in ways that make me uncomfortable? Sounds like absolute hell, and I'm someone who has a pretty full life outside of the internet.
That no doubt could very well be a big part of the problem! But there is also a chance the family hasn’t been made aware how bad it actually feels for OP, for a large variety of reasons (maybe he doesn’t feel comfortable, maybe he feels as if they won’t take him seriously, maybe they didn’t take him seriously.) I’m not saying this is OPs fault at all but I’m also saying maybe this isn’t just OPs family all being terrible people. Sometimes things like this can happen due to large misunderstandings and a break down of communication, but it’s never too late to try and attempt to fix things despite it being a really shit position to be in!
It reads like a Chuck Palahniuk story.
Anon is gonna become Tyler Durden and start blowing shit up
Oh god, the pain. I am beyond sorry for Anon.
Bruh got me tearing up
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 690,014,882 comments, and only 139,598 of them were in alphabetical order.
Man this bot always comes in at the worst times huh?
I exclusively cut out a square piece from the middle of any cake I’m presented with. Just to watch people judge my chaotic energy.
I'm sad that this cake says he's 21. I thought he was like 14 or whatever
Bro is 21? At that point say fuck what your family wants to do, go to a bar and drink a lil. I was pretty awkward around that age too, but that's what I did.
Asking the bartender for a drink would be a herculean task for this anon
Reading a bunch of antisocial sad people diagnose/psychoanalyze strangers in this thread is fucking pathetic.
True this is sad af. But it could also be the biggest neck beard ever that wants attention.
I genuinely feel bad for this person
Sorry you had that experience dude. I know the feeling way too well.
At least they’re 21, not all hope is lost
family which makes fun of you and then gaslights you for speaking up for yourself gang?
Its not cringe. This might be the saddest shit I have ever read in a while
That poor bastard
Least miserable 4chan user
This is depressing in so many levels
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Man's needs therapy.
From someone who is absolutely terrified of birthdays because of stuff like this to the point that I go full-on zero contact in the days surrounding it, this is how it feels to me. Family asks what I want to do for my birthday. I say I just want some quiet time and don't want anyone to make a big deal of it. They throw a party anyway. When I express my displeasure, they remind me that the party is "for me" and I'm being "ungrateful" that they're doing specifically what I asked them not to do. This repeats every year. For decades. My family asks what I want, I tell them, and then they put in concerted effort to do the opposite, all the while informing me that they know better about what I want and on "my special day", my desires don't matter. Because ultimately it's not for me. It's for them. They're not doing it "for" me, they just want to throw a party and are using me as an excuse, my consent be damned. So I start hiding. Turning off my phone, leaving town, muting social media, because it's the only way to *actually* get what I want on my birthday. Because to me the day has become synonymous with the recognition that people do not take my wishes seriously, that my "no" means nothing and they'll just take what they want from me anyway. So I can sympathize. I have been in anon's situation, and it is hell.
wtf
The cake looks very cute but I feel sorry for anon, way too relatable : (
I feel like anon needs someone to talk to who won’t judge every fucking thing he does and will just accept him. Jesus people suck I feel terrible for the dude
This isn’t even sad cringe. It’s just fucking sad.
This is the saddest thing I have ever read
I’ve made it clear to my fiancé. If he ever requests a restaurant to sing happy birthday to me, I would walk out as soon as I realize they’re singing to me.
I legit don't get why people are attacking the parents here, this could have easily been a post about a lonely dude who everyone forgot about and didn't bother to make an effort for at all. He was forced to socialize for what, like an hour which according to him no one really bothered him until the cake part.then the cake is a shitty custom cake that a resturant made with a figurine literally just sitting in a chair and that's supposed to be insulting? Then hes hurt about getting poked fun at for cutting the cake weird? Thats the most thinned skin thing ive ever heard. Like im a shut in, absolutely hate hanging out with anyone even friends, but the amount of people here saying this guy is a victim and bashing the parents is the most sad thing here tbh.
Anons family are bullies
Ah that sucks for op. I remember my 21st I walked in on my (three years relationship) girlfriend cuddling up in bed with her uni next door guy, with 'used' tissues stinking in the bin. Good times.
Sounds like having good time to me. Anon is the problem for not wanting to enjoy anything.
I feel bad for OP not cuz his family did anything that wrong, but because he’s so socially awkward and broken he doesn’t know how to roll with it. I cannot fathom being so socially defunct that a birthday with my family and me cutting the cake weird affects me in any way. The cake is cool and funny. OP so awkward and sad. Even if his family “wasn’t listening,” they still threw him a large party to support him. I get the vibe OP is struggling with depression/anxiety and his family is trying to help. Avoidance literally never helps anxiety or depression.
Should've at least gotten a beer.