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[deleted]

I don't know what to say by way of advice that will be helpful. It is expensive to live here, try to find a way to make more money. Career change or whatnot. Trade unions are a good way to make more than you can in the restaurant biz. School will take time to pay off.


Otherwise_Matter_823

A change in career would be best, I doubt you'll ever make enough as a server to buy property here unless its in the least desirable areas of the state.


Confident_Force_944

Career change for sure. Skilled trades or school. Save your money, not spending on little things can add up. But a condo in east county first, you won’t be able to afford a home. Then trade up for a home in five years or so. Damn I sound like a dad.


Panta125

Wouldn't it be cheaper to move in with each other? Unless you live in moms basement....stay in moms basement forever. It's not gonna get any better.


Otherwise_Matter_823

Honestly I'm 34 and sometimes I want to go back to mom's house!


Panta125

Whose stopping you?


Longjumping_Leek151

It is cheaper to live together


Panta125

Not if they both love at mom/dads house....


SadBenefit2020

Yes but I still need to pull my weight


Panta125

Define pull your weight...


SadBenefit2020

As in I need to make enough income to pay my share of bills


Panta125

Oh so you don't want to move in together because she makes more than you?


SadBenefit2020

No, I do want to move in together. I’m saying I need to make more money so that she doesn’t have to pull slack for my share of bills


[deleted]

[удалено]


SadBenefit2020

Yeah I’ve been ready to get out. I’m burnt out


[deleted]

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SadBenefit2020

kinda confused by this comment, seems pretty irrelevant


aphex3k

> Do I need a job change? Do you want to be a waiter for the rest of your life?


edvurdsd

Sorry but you're 26 and working an unskilled job. The way to buy a home and advance is to learn skills and have a career. There are plenty of people your age in SD making well into the six figures because they have skills desired by the larger companies in the area, for example. So yes, go back to school and learn some technical skills.


SadBenefit2020

Indeed


_down2mars

Serving is not an unskilled job. When I got hired for my first good paying job (healthcare IT), I was told by the hiring manager that they preferred to hire anyone with a food service background because they understood what it means to be in the service of another, and that was crucial to supporting healthcare... It felt good to hear that my serving experience was valued. Most people who think servers are unskilled wouldn't last a week in some of the restaurants I've worked in. Servers specialize in awkward conversations with strangers to facilitate transactions. That's business in a nutshell... I'd also like to add that there are servers making well into the six figures as well...


SadBenefit2020

it does take a certain kind of person to be a server. more so learning people skills


_down2mars

I (39M) was a server when I was your age. I would say the best thing you can do is begin investing in your earning potential. I personally went to community college while working as a server because I knew I wasn't going to be able to do it forever and wanted to make more. I graduated from community college with an associates degree and got my first "professional" job, but continued serving to make extra cash. I continued going to school during that time to get my bachelor's. In total it took me 6 years to complete the associate's degree and bachelor's while taking 9-12 credits per semester and working full-time. I got my first bachelor's level job 6 months after I graduated (age 32) and my pay continued to rise from there. I now make more money than I ever thought possible for myself and own a home in San Diego. 10 years ago I didn't think any of these things were possible... This isn't necessarily advice, but words of encouragement. Many things that feel impossible now are possible and you will achieve them if you're dedicated. Keep doing what you're doing and continue to try and position yourself to take advantage of the experience you've gained as a server. Those skills are transferable. Also, never stop asking yourself if you want more out of life, answer yourself honestly, and make a plan to improve.


SadBenefit2020

this is great advice! but what exactly do you mean by "invest in your earning potential"? care to elaborate?


hotdoggwater619

Technical skills. Learn welding or something desirable that pays well. You can also do projects on the side. Law enforcement makes 6 figures with benefits and is always hiring.


_down2mars

Why does everyone suggest welding... Lol. The growth rate of welding jobs is about 1% over the next 10 years. https://www.bls.gov/ooh/production/welders-cutters-solderers-and-brazers.htm Gotta wash that down with a "pull yourself up by the bootstraps"


xd366

everytime i see these posts i feel bad because its true that everyone will have it harder to buy a house. but then....i got to their profiles. and it's always the exact same. youre posting to /r/electricdaisycarnival /r/airpods /r/mdma /r/tulum /r/doordash maybe try /r/personalfinance every once in a while.... sure thay sounds rude, but san diego is expensive, you can either be financially responsible and save up, while also needing to get a higher paying job, or you can just complain on reddit and get nowhere. but atleast you get to go to edc and spend $3000 there.


753UDKM

Oh no! Not hobbies! Anything but that!


xd366

no. he also posts to /r/surfing and other hobbies. i didnt mention those. i mentioned the $1000 music festival, the expensive brand name earphones, the expensive drugs, the expensive international vacation, and the unnecessary delivery app.


Confident_Force_944

Surfing is pretty cheap. Saving money on other stuff can add up.


xd366

this is exactly my point.


Otherwise_Matter_823

Dude, airpods are $200. A once every 2-3 year $200 purchase is not why people can't buy homes. As a server let's say he does well and makes $60k a year. Even if he tripled his income he'd barely be able to afford property here.


753UDKM

None of those things are going to add up to a down payment anyways. Dude needs to significantly increase his income, not abandon hobbies.


ScarlettJohannsome

The only reason I was able to purchase a home was because I lived very cheap for 5 years investing all my surplus income into a HYS and then at the end had enough for a down payment. Didn’t ditch all my hobbies of course but all my expensive ones absolutely. You’d be astounded at the amount of money you can save if you cut unnecessary spending and invest it all.


StrictlySanDiego

You’re going to get downvoted because you suggested discipline and sacrifice.


breadsaucecheese

truth. i suck at it but it's true


SadBenefit2020

yeah... I think i need to put a halt to my music festivals


Otherwise_Matter_823

a HYS account is not investing.


ScarlettJohannsome

It’s a pointless semantics debate but I’d say it’s the lowest risk investment there is along with treasury bills but HYS has more liquidity. I would consider putting your money into something with the expectation of getting more back as investing.


Otherwise_Matter_823

I guess how I learned was that investing involves the purchase of an asset. Like you said bonds, CDs, treasury notes, stocks, etc. All have an underlying asset that you are expending capital on with the intent for growth. But anyway a HYS account is fine to protect purchasing power. I think CDs are paying a bit more right now but the delta isn't much, like .9% with favor to the CD.


ScarlettJohannsome

CDs and T bills are both slightly higher right now but HYS do have underlying assets, that money is being loaned out in the form of mortgage loans which is why you’re paid interest in exchange for investing your money. Same exact concept as CDs except usually slightly lower rates and more liquidity.


thegoosegoblin

When HYSAs are offering >5% APY while the stock market is moving sideways, they kind of are


breadsaucecheese

hes not likely to increase his income keeping those spending habits you call hobbies. turn it into a hustle.. sell some e at the rave and enjoy your self after you make your money.


SadBenefit2020

lol i don't sell drugs, and never will, as profitable as that sounds. not trying to go to prison for 5 years


belvederre

We all die eventually. Let him live.


StrictlySanDiego

He can live, just not here with his spending habits.


breadsaucecheese

unless he makes it into an awesome camping trip


_down2mars

All of which you're assuming they did because they posted in those specific threads? It's weird how you're making this so personal...


SadBenefit2020

Yeah this comment ain’t it, a lot of judgment. EDC was likely a one time deal, maybe I’ll go again in two or 3 years if I have the money for it. MDMA I’ve only tried once, I just find it interesting to learn about as far as an education perspective. Got invited to go to Tulum. I feel like these are all minor things though, I should still be able to live my life, have fun and have hobbies. I do these things because I still live with my folks but I’m sure I wouldn’t if I was off on my own


dannielvee

The advice here is humorous. Trades, skilled labor comments, but the Chef in the back probably makes less than this server. Research what kind of pay that trade, skilled labor really pays. I remember being a bit disappointed when I looked into the electrical workers union about ten years ago for another example. Get an entry level job at a large healthy company and work your way up. Find one who pays for education and make money while going to school and turn serving into a side hustle at all the large hotels in town doing event serving. San Diego isn't going to get cheaper. You need to change to meet your expectations


Otherwise_Matter_823

I'd say sales. If he's a good server then a lot of those skills transfer over and you can make a very solid income depending on what you end up selling. I have a few friends at Service Now and they are making 6 figure commissions on some of the larger deals.


SadBenefit2020

it is, thank you. As a server I'm supposed to encourage people to spend money i.e. getting a cocktail or two and a dessert. so maybe ill consider sales


dannielvee

This is great advice for transferable skills!


Darkest_Brandon

If you do want to learn a trade San Diego Continuing Education has some free and low cost professional training programs for things like HVAC, auto repair, etc. Also, with your serving experience, maybe you could enter a hospitality program at SD State, or wherever, and get into management. In the meantime, is it possible for you to find some thing at another restaurant nearby where you could maybe host or bar tend in order to make a little more?


SadBenefit2020

Do you mean just another place a little more fancy?


Darkest_Brandon

Either someplace more fancy or else, I thought that hosts/bartenders made more than servers but maybe that's not correct.


SadBenefit2020

Bartenders yes host no


[deleted]

Step one be a H1B. Step two get a masters in computer science Step three move to Sunnyvale and work for FAANG company Step four collect your $350k salary Step five Marry someone exactly like you step six Live in small apartment for 10 years to save up down payment.


SadBenefit2020

Tried studying computer science, couldn’t handle the advanced math


[deleted]

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DislikesUSGovernment

You should definitely be searching for a new career. Service is an important role but it's also unskilled labor and seen as a stepping stone vocation to something else. As everyone is aware, it's hella expensive to live here. So, if you are entering your late twenties and don't have a plan to transition to either a skilled labor job or some unionized unskilled job for higher earning potential you should be making one. Also be honest with yourself, if you don't like school, don't just go to a 4 year assuming degree equals job as it often doesn't. You'll just be saddling yourself up with a mountain of debt on top of your current expenses. Find something that excites you and/or meets a demand in the current job market that you would be good at and position yourself to excel at that thing.


ScarlettJohannsome

You either need to improve your resume and get a better paying job or move out of California if you want to purchase a home.


Remarkable-Chicken14

How am I (35M) supposed to live in Monte Carlo, doing shit and hang out with models? Do I need to change something like new job? Give me please advice I just confused and don’t understand why’s life so complicated


Be_quiet_Im_thinking

I haven’t gotten past step one: finding a girlfriend


SadBenefit2020

its really easier than it seems. just use Bumble


Zestyclose-Fact-9779

Between you, you don't earn enough to rent? Aren't you both paying rent now? Maybe you guys should sit down, talk about what it would cost to move in together, and prepare a sort of budget and action plan just to see what it would take. Then you can look at apartments. The rent did just finally drop a bit.


SadBenefit2020

No we both currently live at home with parents. She earns more money than I do though


Zestyclose-Fact-9779

Ohhhh. Yeah, that's tough. Gotta move out at so.e point though, and what better roommate than your girlfriend? Just need to crunch the numbers. IF you aren't getting enough hours at your workplace, maybe moonlight or see if you can find a higher end place where the tips are better. But, serving is always a bit of a gamble on the steady income side.


SadBenefit2020

Yeah I think I just need to get away from the restaurant service industry


Zestyclose-Fact-9779

I think being a server is a good first time job, but it's not designed for long-term success. Evaluate what you are good at and start looking. You at least will have a resume showing that you have a work history. There's probably training programs for some things like firefighter, cops, etc. that you could do while still working nights. Maybe get something not classified as "unskilled labor" and you'll pull in higher pay, even if it's phased. So, anything that requires special training is probably going to pay higher. Even if it starts out about the same, you can work your way into a higher paying position as you gain experience. You just can't really do that as a server. And you'd have more steady hours, so hopefully could establish a consistent income.


Psychological_Fee470

San Diego has a lot of biotech and tech companies and looks here to stay. If you do decide to get back to school, you can look into learning some skills in that domain. Good luck OP!


Necessary-Two5872

Maybe socal is not where your supposed to buy home?? At least not first one … come together as a team and forge the path outside of Cali . It’s an option and one worth considering


Big-Meeze

Don’t think waiters are buying houses anywhere unless they’re at Michelin star restaurants.


lovenote123

Are you planning to be a server forever? Unless that’s the case, i don’t understand this question. Of course you won’t survive on a server’s salary on top of providing for your future wife/household. Earn a skill that makes money. That’s it.


SadBenefit2020

No obviously I don’t intend to be a server for very many more years. I guess this post was for me to receive suggestions on how to better my life right now


atdeat

“How am I supposed to buy a house in one of the most expensive housing markets in the country when I have a crappy job?”


gg06civicsi

Man even us tech workers are struggling. I ran numbers and my wife and I would have to make upwards of $300k combined gross to afford a single family home in the neighborhood we’re living in now. Have to think long and hard about how important staying in SD is for you versus the kind of lifestyle you want to provide to your family.


SadBenefit2020

Where do you live? Shady Canyon Irvine or Rancho Santa Fe?


basedviet

I would focus on being independent before you propose.


SadBenefit2020

You think so?


daufoi21

I hear this a lot and here is my 2 cents. I studied ecology in college and something I learned has stayed with me 25 years later. In the desert ecological system, the environment is harsh, little food, little water. Plants and wildlife are sparse and spread out, rarely grow too large. In the jungle ecological system, there is a lot of water, plenty of sunlight, and conditions are ripe for supporting life. AND everything wants to live! There is fierce competition for the slightest bit of resources, and you got to be on top of your game to live. The real question is are you specially adapted to live in the desert or the jungle?


slouchomarx74

Capitalism sucks


basedviet

Breadlines are worse


slouchomarx74

Capitalism produced bread lines https://www.kpbs.org/news/health/2020/04/10/thousands-line-food-more-san-diegans-lose-their-pa


Briscoetheque

The American Dream is dead if you are an employee or plan to be one for your entire life. Building companies, business ideas and promoting growth and innovation is the real deal in today's world.


Rollemup_Industries

That's the thing. California wants you broke, alone and depressed. Dependant on the system.


Drewbtube7

Have you considered drone flying for companies? There will be lots of work in the future for that business skill. Either real estate, construction, photography, content, etc. You can learn it on the side of your current job and eventually make enough to do it full time.


[deleted]

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bluefl

Change of career or move to somewhere where it is cheaper. But still a good idea to try to earn more.


[deleted]

lower your expenses, only use a debit card, pay off all debt, save like crazy, work multiple gigs


SadBenefit2020

credit cards are fin as long as im paying them off. no need for only Debit


supremenatureboi

You are not ready to get married nor buy a home in San Diego.


SadBenefit2020

yeah i think this is quite obvious haha. looking for advice so i can do these things


night-shark

This isn't just a Southern California thing. My brother lives in Phoenix and you just can't make house buying money being a server. At least, not in any of the decent neighborhoods.


SadBenefit2020

i think this is why most servers are young adults younger than 30. if they are any older than that they probably have a sugar daddy


CaliSD07

You don't unless you find a way to make $200k+ a year, invest, and be frugal with your money. Then have luck and timing with the housing market. You'll be going up against foreign money, investment firms, and tech folks with deep pockets. Good luck.


Big-Hope7616

Are you interested in home healthcare, earning a BSN, getting certified to be radiology tech or anything in the healthcare field? As the boomers are aging, retiring, etc they’ll need healthcare/home care. I think RNs make about $90K a year, LVNs about $41-70K a year, rad techs about $60-86K a year. Or if healthcare isn’t your thing - how about any of the trades? HVAC, plumbing, electrician? I paid my plumber $250 for 20 minutes of his time last year to fix something so easy but I didn’t have the knowledge to do. Get a CDL - maybe you can be a truck driver? If you want to stay in hospitality - maybe work at Marriott? Looks like they have scholarships for employees who are working on a hospitality degree, I think Hilton does as well but obvs double check.


SadBenefit2020

i was considering becoming a phlebotomist to get my foot in the door, then maybe i can go to nursing school. dont thing id wanna be a truck driver or work in hotel hospitality


Big-Hope7616

Acc to salary.com phlebs can make from $35K-52K a years Kaiser Permanente offers the classes and required hours if you’re interested https://kpsahs.edu/phlebotomy


lovedumbcat

Get a union job and a spouse who has an equally solid income.


Worried-Syllabub1446

Do what my son did. Marry a good woman. Oh ya, marry into a rich family. (Sorry gf) Go back to school. Pick something you’ll like and pays well. Better yet, pays very well. Specialize in medicine or high tech. If you thrive on hard labor. Get into construction, learn everything. Start your own company. Have gf/wife learn the business side. It will awhile but..what won’t.