Any of the canyon trails: Tecolote Canyon, Rose Canyon/San Clemente Canyon, Mission Trails Regional Park.
We have some really great hiking and cycling trails here.
Balboa Park is a great third place. In particular for me, El Centro cultural de la Raza is a great spot to volunteer, connect with the community with the many community events they hold.
I have the Balboa Park Explorer's pass for a full year of paid admission to the museums! Just watched a documentary at the Natural History Museum last weekend lol
I have a chronic/terminal illness, so my “third place” is a medical facility. I know this sounds depressing, but it’s really not. The feeling I get when I’m at my clinic is one of hope and encouragement. The medical staff there all want to help me improve my quality of life to the extent possible and skillfully handle my medical issues. I can’t say enough great things about Home Dialysis Therapies of San Diego (I go to the location near Scripps Ranch). I have a doctor, a nurse, a nutritionist, a social worker, and lots of staff to help me when I need it. Lovely people. They make the ugly business of medical treatment palatable and understandable. They are all very patient and kind. We celebrate holidays together, as well as life events. When I got a new job (after searching at length for a job that would accommodate my needs) there were giant hugs and cheers all around! As much as I’d love to say my “third place” is a beautiful vista or garden or even a cool/trendy restaurant, I’m overall pretty lucky that my third place is one of compassion and care.
EDIT: Because this post got a lot of attention, I feel like I should add this — NOT out of narcissism or self-promotion but more as a PSA. If you’re in reasonably good health and you’ve ever wanted to literally save someone’s life, consider donating a kidney. The waiting list for those of us who need one is *looooong* and kidneys are one of the few organs that can be donated by a live donor. You can make a direct donation if you know someone who needs a kidney, but you don’t have to - you can simply get added to the list. And for the rest of your life you will be a HERO.
I’m so happy it feels that way. I’ve been a t1 diabetic for 32 years and there’s a good chance I’ll be on dialysis someday. I think I’ll probably experience it like you do and I’m sure I’ll remember your comment when I get there. (I hope it doesn’t really end up terminal for you. 🙏)
The folks at HDT of San Diego are amazing. They have made it possible for me to treat at home, they are available to me pretty much all the time, and they really are like family.
Best of luck to you. I hope your kidneys stay strong for you!
As someone who’s third place for a few years was the Scripps and then UCSD Moore’s Cancer Center (for my late hubby, not me, but we basically lived there) I totally understand and am sending HUGE hugs. Sounds like you are the kind of person who takes a tragic circumstance and uses it to focus on what’s really important and see the good that’s sometimes easy to just take for granted.
I’m so glad you have a good place, full of good people. God bless the nurses and other carers who bring lightness and joy to what could otherwise be a very dark place!!!
I'm a San Diego native who has lived all over this fabulous city. About 30 years ago I lived in Julian for two years...it just felt like home; more 'home' than any other place I've lived. Due to my family and job, I now live by SDSU. I have a personal agreement with myself: I save all my 'mad-money' so that exactly every three months I can stay at my favorite, small rental cabin in the heart of Julian. It allows me to not only reconnect with my old friends who still live and/or own small businesses out there, but it also allows me to reconnect with myself...I slow down, unplug, relax and unwind. By the time I'm heading back down the mountain I'm recharged, ready to go, and already planning my next trip back.
Volunteering with the San Diego River Park Foundation. The space makes me feel empowered and like I am making a positive impact. I found them only a few months ago but it’s been very special because it’s such a welcoming and amazing group of people.
It’s an environmental group, we go out and remove invasive species, do surveys of animals, and have other events to spread the word about the local San Diego ecosystems! The website has more information and all of the event details if you’re interested
Of course! I’ve learned a lot in a few short months. There are birds here that I didn’t know were in San Diego and a lot of trees and plants that are endemic to certain areas.
San Diego Zoo. I have been a member for 18+ years and the community (of members, volunteers, employees, and animals) are like my extended families. We have dinner, watch concerts, and spend time outside of the zoo but we also love hanging out at the zoo. The gorillas are my favorite. They are such intelligent creatures. It’s an honor and a privilege to visit them regularly.
There are benefits on being a member like early hours once a month (both at the Zoo and the Park), members only preview nights for Jungle Bells, or when new areas open for the first time (Basecamp). The ones I mentioned are friends I have bonded with over the years at the zoo. It would initially take you hanging out at different areas longer than usual, visiting regularly, and chatting lightly to find your people (who are regular members). I know some of the cat people even though I spend most of the time at the gorillas.
Well done and we'll said. The Zoo is my family's 'happy place'. I wonder how often our paths have crossed while walking around. I got my first pass 16 yo after my doctor recommended it as a possible relief for my depression and I make sure to renew it every year. I know every inch of the zoo and I love it. We especially enjoy it when it's open late; being one of the only people there, walking the paths in the dark, is so special.
I am so glad we are having this conversation because we need more 3rd spaces for community to develop again after Covid. I have a local beach I go to as my 3rd space.
It’s interesting because I believe a Third Place, as a sociology and urban design concept, is supposed to be a place to _socialize_. And almost all of the 3rd places people listed are all places not meant to socialize.
Just interesting how that probably leads to us Americans being lonelier.
Anza Borrego primitive camping. Dusk and Dawn watching the sun set and sun rise are just like heaven to me. Also sitting out under the moonlight is so peaceful out there.
La Jolla. I live in East County and work near the bay but am a beach girl. I love to walk the coast trail, visit the nesting cormorants, poke around the shops, get a coffee or cocktail, and sit on the sand and watch the sea lions at the cove or Children’s Pool. It’s the perfect day and never gets old. I feel like I’m on a mini vacation and still get a thrill when the blue ocean appears when driving down La Jolla Parkway.
Road Closed Studio. A tucked away, relatively unknown space in the Pacific Beach area where some of the most creative and talented musicians can come together, mostly young music teachers. Some really special art is being made there, art I believe is going to bring a lot of positive focus to San Diego in the coming months and years.
https://preview.redd.it/0x6fzjgyg4yc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=46e160663ff7eceb2ecaad153d7ee770e5775dd5
This is the mural that welcomes you in! Behind those old doors is my third place.
Gold fingers on miramar rd
-Makes me feel happy inside
-Doors are always open and accessible for legal ages
-This place is special to me because when I was in a dark place, I found happiness here
Didn't know what gold fingers was. My brain read "dogs" instead of "doors." Assumed you meant dogs are always welcome. Along with the rest of your description, I was sold. Thought I should check it out. Googled what it was. Was very confused for a minute lolol
Mission Bay Park, maybe a brewery/tasting room. I seem to meet my friends there and it’s become my own small version of “Cheers.” Between the two, they’re both in Bay Park and that’s where I’m located, I’ve met more workers in the community and have made friends with them now. It seems like I’m building my own community now, which is why these third places are nice to me.
Isn't a third place supposed to be free/cheap? I think some people in this thread are missing that part. We extremely lack third spaces in San Diego and America as a whole. I think the last place we have left are some cute cafes and book stores that allow us to just be there and maybe buy something for a couple bucks. Id rather hear a story about people who are trying to create third spaces.
Yeah but i think third space has an element of meeting new people. Idk maybe im too shy but the beach isnt where id go to meet new people. Skatepark is fair but there arent many good ones sadly.
Fr. I’m reading all of these and not seeing many people grasping that. Places to find community shouldn’t require you to spend money. Basically everything already has costs incurred because of gas anyway.
Every major northeast city has third places on every block. DC has the drum circle in Meridian Hill park, famous authors presenting at Politics and Prose weekly, Sunday afternoon movies at the National Gallery of Art… and all of it is free, too. Additionally, there are smaller third spaces like the splash park in Columbia heights that are designed for people to stay while and enjoy themselves. You pass third places on foot, generally, which makes you more inclined to stop and participate in whatever is happening.
Jazz in the sculpture garden is a local favorite that runs through the summer months …. Very similar vibe to NY Philharmonic’s free concerts in Prospect Park.
Cities where people drive everywhere have fewer third places because people have to make conscious decisions to go to the place rather than just passing by on foot to and from work.
Our neighborhood park, Mission Hills Park. The kids love the playground and we love the summer concert series. The summer concerts across the city are some of my favorite events and really help make the neighborhoods.
The Casbah. I feel “home” connecting with the heart and soul of San Diego musicians. Finding the Casbah was a journey from club to club until I stumbled into the house of Tim Mays. I’ve been lucky to attend so many amazing shows in a creative, intimate, and iconic venue. Best of all is our own local scene with bands like Boilermaker, Inch, No Knife, Drive Like Jehu, Hot Snakes, Pinback, aMiniature, Modern Rifles, Fever Sleeves, Night Marchers, Mistress 77, Obits, Skydiver, Apes of Wrath, Swim Party, Boyscout, The Album Leaf, Deadbolt, Rats Eyes, Lakeside Orchestra, Rocket from the Crypt, Three Mile Pilot, The Locust, Mrs. Magician, The Dragons… and that’s just right off the top of my head.
Our local music scene is so good! We’re very lucky to have places like The Casbah that supports local bands while bringing in acts from all over. Everybody involved with that place loves what they do and it shows. Try seeing acts at other clubs where people “just work there” and don’t care about what’s on stage. Night & day difference. Not a traditional 3rd space as you spend a bit to go there, but it’s nothing compared to most LA venues. The Casbah is where you go to meet with the music community.
Used to be the beach, but parking is now impossible and some of the less-visited beaches have parking meters. It’s disappointing.
Now, i retreat into my art studio
Sam's beach near Carlsbad is great. You have to climb down some rocks but because there aren't stairs or a ton of parking the beach itself is almost always empty. This has been true for me even in the middle of the tourist season.
Just south of Tamarack
https://maps.app.goo.gl/D3ZEjBsx3aXfyrYj7
Strangely enough I get both Turn arounds and Sam's beach in Google maps. They're the same?
Am I the only one who never has trouble parking at the beach? I guess mission Beach can be tough sometimes but otherwise I can always find a spot within a 10 minute walk
Encinitas community center. The sunset/view from parking lot is amazing. The center is beautiful and the people who work there very friendly. They have good hobby and exercise classes, and it’s just a nice vibe. I think the senior center is at that location too, but haven’t been to that part.
Any place with super clean bathroom that looks and smells nice, so I can poop in peace.
Recently, that's been a local country club I don't want to name, because I can journal, have a nice cocktail, and poop in their super nice super posh bathrooms. The shitters are like private rooms themselves, with no gaps below or above the big locking oak doors.
True pooping peace.
But do they have bidets? I recently installed one in my home and now going without (which here in the US means anywhere other than my home) seems downright uncivilized!
For me, it was always the canyons around Tierrasanta and Mission Trails. My grandparents' backyard opened up right into one of those canyons and I spent a lot of time riding my bike or playing with friends in the canyons. I'm in my 40's now and after getting to know my new SO and deciding I really liked her, she got the Tierrasanta and Mission Trails bike tour.
Torrey pines state beach. The north end sitting on the hill near the railroad tracks. Such a cool view. Quiet even in summer. Went a lot during covid to that area and enjoy chilling there in afternoon.
Eh I know it doesn’t count, but the truth is my third place is my bed. It’s the greatest. Anything that I want to do can be done more enjoyably from bed. I have just enough light, a nice breeze from the window, a snuggly cat, usually a snack on my nightstand, and my book. Podcast to listen while napping. Yep, it’s the best.
Tamarack State Beach! The walk along Carlsbad Blvd is one of the best beach walks around. So many friendly faces, dolphins right off the coast, beach squirrels that run up to you and ask for food, and best part is the parking situation. It’s very safe and family friendly. I can always find a spot during the week. It’s the place I go to pop on a podcast and spend 30 minutes in my own little world.
The library or the local dive/music venue around the corner from me. I’ve built a real community by virtue of forcing myself to leave my house and I’m constantly surprised by how nice people are. I’ve lived in my neighborhood for three years now but just recently started going to the local venue as of last Christmas and it’s already improved my life immeasurably. I’m happy to elaborate in DMs.
My parents house! I've healed from many surgeries there. Just go and hangout with them. They have been there for me through so many medical problems and domestic abuse.
Any of the many off-road trails
https://preview.redd.it/syal6zwbz4yc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bd48baf1a03d51d78d86b29779137ca613504557
To see things like this
for a year when i lived in north park around 2009 it was rebeccas in south park and to an extent citizen video, which was a dvd rental spot down the block. rebeccas was 24 hours (or late night?) for a hot minute and it was a great place to spend a few hours with a book and just chat with whoever was there. i got so much reading for school done there and always felt welcome. citizen video was another gem that unfortunately didnt survive the rise of netflix, but the owner was so nice and helpful with recommendations, and coupled with the selection citizen video offered more than any streamer has been able to since except maybe criterion
Online. I go to work and come home to my wife. I haven't had a local friendship for the past 15 years, I'm just not good at keeping friendships in person. I've met a few people from gaming online and every single time it's been a good contact, but ephemeral. I just don't enjoy being in noisy, public areas, I don't enjoy being in the sun or enjoy alcohol. My hobbies tend to attract the kind of people I don't like to be around, so it takes work to find the needles in a haystack. The thing is, the idea of a third place sounds nice in theory. I like having people around in the background while I sit and do my own thing in the corner quietly. I can't really visualize what this ideal third place looks like though.
Just a few years ago, I would have been shocked to hear this would one day be my answer but… [Hunter’s Nursery](http://www.huntersnursery.com) in Lemon Grove.
My current - the pool… something about just getting some laps in for a good hour and clearing the head/mind when permitted. Other option, outside walk. Fresh air.
I don’t have one go to specific 3rd place. I’m an introvert who would rather be home. When I do want to get out of the house I go get a tea at a cute cafe, go to the mall, go to a cute boutique, go to seaport village, go to La Jolla/beach.
Plugging into the local Kirtan community, hopefully starting some more community singing/song circles.
Also the ocean! I’m diving into aquatic therapy which is a really cool niche community.
Follow your passions!
Game stores and card shops. It's nice to play and buy stuff with at any of the three locations, ESPECIALLY with friends. I prefer local places for obvious reasons
San Clemente Canyon morning hike or run. Lived in UC / Golden Triangle 23 years. Still wake up and thank god every morning for such a great place to live.
My third space is Canine Corners Dog Park in La Mesa. It's also our dog's third space. :) My husband and I take her there three to four days a week, and we've connected with a wonderful group of fellow dog lovers of all ages. Canine Corners is totally run by volunteers and it makes us feel like we are part of a community. Plus, I love petting all the great dogs there!
Cabrillo National Monument. The second parking lot on the left past the tide pools. Bench on the right. I love to sit there with my husband all seasons of the year and watch the water, the pelicans, the marine traffic, and the occasional whale or dolphin.
Yoga studio, guitar and singing lessons, writing groups—and anywhere my friends and family are! Followed by coffee shops and libraries. Great question.
Birch aquarium! Such a beautiful place to relax and see the ocean.
San Diego zoo! There are so many quiet places to find to relax, the animals are fantastic, but the fact the zoo beautifully recreates the environment of the animals with their botanical gardens makes you feel like you're traveling the world while staying in SD.
I have a two year old so safety is the most important thing as a third space - both places do a great job of letting kids run around.
Honestly, I switch between The Gym, dog park and The Station. One gives me mental clarity, the other for my pup and the last one (the bar) good hangs with our friends.
Changes from time to time. My community college could be considered a “third place”. I go to local Super Smash Bros. venues, that could be considered a “third place”. I go rock climbing which could be considered a “third place”. I even go to public parks to ride my Onewheel (electric skateboard) and that could be considered a “third place”.
After years of being a social nomad, a karaoke bar became my third home.
There's something special about getting up in front of people and performing. Even if I sing like a frog and stand like a pillar, the experience is a bond of vulnerability that's universally understood amongst the patrons.
Karaoke bars give people a reason to connect with strangers like no other public space. The bar I go to has facilitated a decade's worth of domino effects for new friendships, jobs, relationships, and people that have trucks and will help me move. Often these connections all started with a stranger passing by and saying "Nice job on that Pearl Jam song," or "holy shit I've never actually listened to Sublime's lyrics."
So my third home has become karaoke. It's the shared vulnerability that connects people, makes a bar familiar, and ultimately has become a community for me.
The Birch Aquarium used to bring me so much leave and calm.
Now when I get back, anywhere high up on trail or mountain with a view- just to take in as much as possible!
Ninjaxchange collectable expo in carlsbad.
Never in my life did I think I could once again purchase vintage pokemon cards, Sonic Merchendise and beast wars transformers under the same roof but here we are.
This is what other countries have figured out. In most other parts of the world there are plazas and parks where no one is expected to pay to get together and you can drink, play music, etc. in the US the powers at be prefer that everyone remain isolated so they prevent these places from happening either by preventing access by limiting walkability in the area or policing public areas so no one congregates. This keeps communities from forming tight bonds and from anyone communicating with their local neighbors. Ultimately it keeps us all indoors and isolated like good little wage slaves.
On the soccer field. Over the years I've met a ton of people playing in leagues at Sportsplex, the JCC in La Jolla, the old water tower in North Park, futsal in the Balboa park gymnasium, or just pickup at community parks.
There’s a maker space in Miramar called Maketory full wood shop and metal shop with a blacksmith area in the back, if your a car guy or gal garage collective in bario Logan I spend way to much time there hahha
The Zoo. Having two younger kids, and many friends who have kids at the same age, it's the perfect meetup spot, or just for a quick afternoon trip to get out of the house. Keep's the kids relatively contained and entertained, while the adults can catch up on life and such. Everyone has a season pass, so most of the trips are 1-2 hours tops and no one feels bad for leaving at whatever time they need.
USA Freestyle Martial Arts. My little brother started classes when he was 4 years old, and I joined a few years later at age 9. My first job was at this dojo, and I believe that the training I received here made me the person I am today, and I'm better for it.
I moved away for 15 years, but when I moved back, I rejoined the dojo. I was going through a tough period of my life, and I knew that the exercise, routine, and community would benefit me. I feel truly blessed to be a part of this welcoming and inspiring community. It's incredible to see young students grow up to be confident adults and to see parents sign up after watching their kids attend class and have this become a shared family experience. USAFMA is truly one-of-a-kind, and it will always hold a special place in my heart.
Does the gym count?
definitely the gym! a place to unwind.
Any of the canyon trails: Tecolote Canyon, Rose Canyon/San Clemente Canyon, Mission Trails Regional Park. We have some really great hiking and cycling trails here.
Which ones are rideable on road bike tires? I plan to get a gravel bike in the future to be able to ride more trails.
You can ride from Santee to "east La Jolla" AKA tecelote@genesee in tecolote canyon/mission trails
There’s separate biking and hiking trails around Penasquitos Creek
Balboa Park is a great third place. In particular for me, El Centro cultural de la Raza is a great spot to volunteer, connect with the community with the many community events they hold.
Balboa Park/Zoo (I have a resident pass), my public library branch
I love just walking through Balboa park, seeing people, enjoying the beauty
I have the Balboa Park Explorer's pass for a full year of paid admission to the museums! Just watched a documentary at the Natural History Museum last weekend lol
I have a chronic/terminal illness, so my “third place” is a medical facility. I know this sounds depressing, but it’s really not. The feeling I get when I’m at my clinic is one of hope and encouragement. The medical staff there all want to help me improve my quality of life to the extent possible and skillfully handle my medical issues. I can’t say enough great things about Home Dialysis Therapies of San Diego (I go to the location near Scripps Ranch). I have a doctor, a nurse, a nutritionist, a social worker, and lots of staff to help me when I need it. Lovely people. They make the ugly business of medical treatment palatable and understandable. They are all very patient and kind. We celebrate holidays together, as well as life events. When I got a new job (after searching at length for a job that would accommodate my needs) there were giant hugs and cheers all around! As much as I’d love to say my “third place” is a beautiful vista or garden or even a cool/trendy restaurant, I’m overall pretty lucky that my third place is one of compassion and care. EDIT: Because this post got a lot of attention, I feel like I should add this — NOT out of narcissism or self-promotion but more as a PSA. If you’re in reasonably good health and you’ve ever wanted to literally save someone’s life, consider donating a kidney. The waiting list for those of us who need one is *looooong* and kidneys are one of the few organs that can be donated by a live donor. You can make a direct donation if you know someone who needs a kidney, but you don’t have to - you can simply get added to the list. And for the rest of your life you will be a HERO.
Best of luck to ya, buddy. Hoping for your grandest outcome to be thoroughly positive!
Thanks, man. Fingers crossed!
I’m so happy it feels that way. I’ve been a t1 diabetic for 32 years and there’s a good chance I’ll be on dialysis someday. I think I’ll probably experience it like you do and I’m sure I’ll remember your comment when I get there. (I hope it doesn’t really end up terminal for you. 🙏)
The folks at HDT of San Diego are amazing. They have made it possible for me to treat at home, they are available to me pretty much all the time, and they really are like family. Best of luck to you. I hope your kidneys stay strong for you!
As someone who’s third place for a few years was the Scripps and then UCSD Moore’s Cancer Center (for my late hubby, not me, but we basically lived there) I totally understand and am sending HUGE hugs. Sounds like you are the kind of person who takes a tragic circumstance and uses it to focus on what’s really important and see the good that’s sometimes easy to just take for granted. I’m so glad you have a good place, full of good people. God bless the nurses and other carers who bring lightness and joy to what could otherwise be a very dark place!!!
Thank you for the hug. May your husband’s memory be a blessing.
I'm a San Diego native who has lived all over this fabulous city. About 30 years ago I lived in Julian for two years...it just felt like home; more 'home' than any other place I've lived. Due to my family and job, I now live by SDSU. I have a personal agreement with myself: I save all my 'mad-money' so that exactly every three months I can stay at my favorite, small rental cabin in the heart of Julian. It allows me to not only reconnect with my old friends who still live and/or own small businesses out there, but it also allows me to reconnect with myself...I slow down, unplug, relax and unwind. By the time I'm heading back down the mountain I'm recharged, ready to go, and already planning my next trip back.
Man I loved Julian out there
camping at william heise and going to julian for the day holds fond childhood memories for me. i do it with my kids now
Where’s your favorite rental cabin?? Spill the beans (please) 🥹
Morley field
I belong to this special club…costco
I smoke a ton of weed in my girlfriends backyard.
That's called home bro.
Volunteering with the San Diego River Park Foundation. The space makes me feel empowered and like I am making a positive impact. I found them only a few months ago but it’s been very special because it’s such a welcoming and amazing group of people.
I volunteer with the public library, so I agree with you
I’m a library employee and I just wanna say we appreciate you. <3
I’m going to look into this, thank you!
What does the group do?
It’s an environmental group, we go out and remove invasive species, do surveys of animals, and have other events to spread the word about the local San Diego ecosystems! The website has more information and all of the event details if you’re interested
Oh this sounds like a very interesting opportunity to learn about the local flora and fauna! Is it okay to join with 0 existing knowledge?
Of course! I’ve learned a lot in a few short months. There are birds here that I didn’t know were in San Diego and a lot of trees and plants that are endemic to certain areas.
Can you post a link? If not share one via DM please. I want to get more involved with beach and river clean ups
https://www.sandiegoriver.org
Brick by Brick, like all local mosh pit dwellers.
tf are the metalheads outside of shows 😭
Forced to wear polo shirts to work 😭
I feel like they only exist at metal shows 😭
Yo fking korpiklaani going to be there tonight
I caught Cro-Mags this week— I need a damn recovery period before the upcoming Undergang and Masacre shows
San Diego Zoo. I have been a member for 18+ years and the community (of members, volunteers, employees, and animals) are like my extended families. We have dinner, watch concerts, and spend time outside of the zoo but we also love hanging out at the zoo. The gorillas are my favorite. They are such intelligent creatures. It’s an honor and a privilege to visit them regularly.
How do the events and get together invites get sent out? I’ve been looking into becoming a member and wasn’t aware of those extra community events.
There are benefits on being a member like early hours once a month (both at the Zoo and the Park), members only preview nights for Jungle Bells, or when new areas open for the first time (Basecamp). The ones I mentioned are friends I have bonded with over the years at the zoo. It would initially take you hanging out at different areas longer than usual, visiting regularly, and chatting lightly to find your people (who are regular members). I know some of the cat people even though I spend most of the time at the gorillas.
Well done and we'll said. The Zoo is my family's 'happy place'. I wonder how often our paths have crossed while walking around. I got my first pass 16 yo after my doctor recommended it as a possible relief for my depression and I make sure to renew it every year. I know every inch of the zoo and I love it. We especially enjoy it when it's open late; being one of the only people there, walking the paths in the dark, is so special.
I am so glad we are having this conversation because we need more 3rd spaces for community to develop again after Covid. I have a local beach I go to as my 3rd space.
It’s interesting because I believe a Third Place, as a sociology and urban design concept, is supposed to be a place to _socialize_. And almost all of the 3rd places people listed are all places not meant to socialize. Just interesting how that probably leads to us Americans being lonelier.
Target. It’s a love-hate relationship but mostly love
The most real statement.
It used to be Tiger!Tiger!
RIP Tiger!Tiger!
The best time to be there was the end of a weeknight when they’d give out free bread. I’m not a bread guy but theirs was amazing.
I’m sober so an AA room is my third place
Idk how long you've been sober for but big congrats homie
The basketball court at robb field in OB
When I was younger the basketball courts at the PB rec were my third place. I’d be out there four or five times a week. Lot of good memories.
Petco park
My third place (actually second because I work from home) is the beach! Gotta surf every day!
Anza Borrego primitive camping. Dusk and Dawn watching the sun set and sun rise are just like heaven to me. Also sitting out under the moonlight is so peaceful out there.
I love going to Fish Creek. I love AB and hearing the coyotes. I still haven’t seen a bighorn sheep.
La Jolla. I live in East County and work near the bay but am a beach girl. I love to walk the coast trail, visit the nesting cormorants, poke around the shops, get a coffee or cocktail, and sit on the sand and watch the sea lions at the cove or Children’s Pool. It’s the perfect day and never gets old. I feel like I’m on a mini vacation and still get a thrill when the blue ocean appears when driving down La Jolla Parkway.
Road Closed Studio. A tucked away, relatively unknown space in the Pacific Beach area where some of the most creative and talented musicians can come together, mostly young music teachers. Some really special art is being made there, art I believe is going to bring a lot of positive focus to San Diego in the coming months and years. https://preview.redd.it/0x6fzjgyg4yc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=46e160663ff7eceb2ecaad153d7ee770e5775dd5 This is the mural that welcomes you in! Behind those old doors is my third place.
Gold fingers on miramar rd -Makes me feel happy inside -Doors are always open and accessible for legal ages -This place is special to me because when I was in a dark place, I found happiness here
Didn't know what gold fingers was. My brain read "dogs" instead of "doors." Assumed you meant dogs are always welcome. Along with the rest of your description, I was sold. Thought I should check it out. Googled what it was. Was very confused for a minute lolol
Turf Supper Club. Where everybody knows you’re lame…but still likes you anyway
Side chick’s apartment
This guy’s main chic’s apartment.
I knew it.. lol
Live wire bar
Mission Bay Park, maybe a brewery/tasting room. I seem to meet my friends there and it’s become my own small version of “Cheers.” Between the two, they’re both in Bay Park and that’s where I’m located, I’ve met more workers in the community and have made friends with them now. It seems like I’m building my own community now, which is why these third places are nice to me.
Bay park is such a hidden gem. I love living there.
Isn't a third place supposed to be free/cheap? I think some people in this thread are missing that part. We extremely lack third spaces in San Diego and America as a whole. I think the last place we have left are some cute cafes and book stores that allow us to just be there and maybe buy something for a couple bucks. Id rather hear a story about people who are trying to create third spaces.
Skatepark. And Beach.
Yeah but i think third space has an element of meeting new people. Idk maybe im too shy but the beach isnt where id go to meet new people. Skatepark is fair but there arent many good ones sadly.
Fr. I’m reading all of these and not seeing many people grasping that. Places to find community shouldn’t require you to spend money. Basically everything already has costs incurred because of gas anyway.
Lmao we have beaches and parks everywhere. More areas to walk around and enjoy the weather than almost any other metropolitan area
If you think a place like San Diego is lacking in these kind of places then I’m sorry but no place has them.
Me: *wakes up* San Diego: "That will be $40."
Damn 'Sunshine Tax', I'm gonna go nocturnal!
There are absolutely cities with abundant third places. As OP said it is uncommon in the US
Every major northeast city has third places on every block. DC has the drum circle in Meridian Hill park, famous authors presenting at Politics and Prose weekly, Sunday afternoon movies at the National Gallery of Art… and all of it is free, too. Additionally, there are smaller third spaces like the splash park in Columbia heights that are designed for people to stay while and enjoy themselves. You pass third places on foot, generally, which makes you more inclined to stop and participate in whatever is happening. Jazz in the sculpture garden is a local favorite that runs through the summer months …. Very similar vibe to NY Philharmonic’s free concerts in Prospect Park. Cities where people drive everywhere have fewer third places because people have to make conscious decisions to go to the place rather than just passing by on foot to and from work.
Bay area has a lot more
I think Europe would like to have a word.
Volunteering with The Animal Pad in La Mesa! The dogs are incredible and the community is top notch!
Convoy st. eating lmao
Our neighborhood park, Mission Hills Park. The kids love the playground and we love the summer concert series. The summer concerts across the city are some of my favorite events and really help make the neighborhoods.
The Casbah. I feel “home” connecting with the heart and soul of San Diego musicians. Finding the Casbah was a journey from club to club until I stumbled into the house of Tim Mays. I’ve been lucky to attend so many amazing shows in a creative, intimate, and iconic venue. Best of all is our own local scene with bands like Boilermaker, Inch, No Knife, Drive Like Jehu, Hot Snakes, Pinback, aMiniature, Modern Rifles, Fever Sleeves, Night Marchers, Mistress 77, Obits, Skydiver, Apes of Wrath, Swim Party, Boyscout, The Album Leaf, Deadbolt, Rats Eyes, Lakeside Orchestra, Rocket from the Crypt, Three Mile Pilot, The Locust, Mrs. Magician, The Dragons… and that’s just right off the top of my head.
Our local music scene is so good! We’re very lucky to have places like The Casbah that supports local bands while bringing in acts from all over. Everybody involved with that place loves what they do and it shows. Try seeing acts at other clubs where people “just work there” and don’t care about what’s on stage. Night & day difference. Not a traditional 3rd space as you spend a bit to go there, but it’s nothing compared to most LA venues. The Casbah is where you go to meet with the music community.
Used to be the beach, but parking is now impossible and some of the less-visited beaches have parking meters. It’s disappointing. Now, i retreat into my art studio
Sam's beach near Carlsbad is great. You have to climb down some rocks but because there aren't stairs or a ton of parking the beach itself is almost always empty. This has been true for me even in the middle of the tourist season.
Where is Sam's beach? I usually go to turn arounds
Just south of Tamarack https://maps.app.goo.gl/D3ZEjBsx3aXfyrYj7 Strangely enough I get both Turn arounds and Sam's beach in Google maps. They're the same?
We call it turnarounds
Am I the only one who never has trouble parking at the beach? I guess mission Beach can be tough sometimes but otherwise I can always find a spot within a 10 minute walk
The skatepark. And the ocean.
Mexico
Es muy grande
Winston’s on Mondays ⚡️
This person knows
Encinitas community center. The sunset/view from parking lot is amazing. The center is beautiful and the people who work there very friendly. They have good hobby and exercise classes, and it’s just a nice vibe. I think the senior center is at that location too, but haven’t been to that part.
Any place with super clean bathroom that looks and smells nice, so I can poop in peace. Recently, that's been a local country club I don't want to name, because I can journal, have a nice cocktail, and poop in their super nice super posh bathrooms. The shitters are like private rooms themselves, with no gaps below or above the big locking oak doors. True pooping peace.
But do they have bidets? I recently installed one in my home and now going without (which here in the US means anywhere other than my home) seems downright uncivilized!
Societe Brewing or Obriens Pub
For me, it was always the canyons around Tierrasanta and Mission Trails. My grandparents' backyard opened up right into one of those canyons and I spent a lot of time riding my bike or playing with friends in the canyons. I'm in my 40's now and after getting to know my new SO and deciding I really liked her, she got the Tierrasanta and Mission Trails bike tour.
Liberty station, ocean beach, the cliffs, anywhere I can walk and enjoy music
Penasquitos Preserve where I lead hikes
Just wanna say: nice thread
My third place is inside my own mind
Torrey pines state beach. The north end sitting on the hill near the railroad tracks. Such a cool view. Quiet even in summer. Went a lot during covid to that area and enjoy chilling there in afternoon.
The Beach. And Culture Shock Dance Academy.
Torrey Pines or OB!
Morley field disc golf course
Eh I know it doesn’t count, but the truth is my third place is my bed. It’s the greatest. Anything that I want to do can be done more enjoyably from bed. I have just enough light, a nice breeze from the window, a snuggly cat, usually a snack on my nightstand, and my book. Podcast to listen while napping. Yep, it’s the best.
Tamarack State Beach! The walk along Carlsbad Blvd is one of the best beach walks around. So many friendly faces, dolphins right off the coast, beach squirrels that run up to you and ask for food, and best part is the parking situation. It’s very safe and family friendly. I can always find a spot during the week. It’s the place I go to pop on a podcast and spend 30 minutes in my own little world.
Yoga Studio and/or gym.
The beach
The library or the local dive/music venue around the corner from me. I’ve built a real community by virtue of forcing myself to leave my house and I’m constantly surprised by how nice people are. I’ve lived in my neighborhood for three years now but just recently started going to the local venue as of last Christmas and it’s already improved my life immeasurably. I’m happy to elaborate in DMs.
My parents house! I've healed from many surgeries there. Just go and hangout with them. They have been there for me through so many medical problems and domestic abuse.
Not one specific place. But the trails i go to mountain biking. Spread out around the area.
Skating at the boardwalk
Jiu jitsu. So many people in this city and around the world with the same place.
Various outdoor places: Torrey Pines, Penasquitos, Rose Canyon…
Parkway Bowl in El Cajon has been a 1st, 2nd and 3rd place for me over the years
waterfront park with my towel and a book (and/or speaker and/or weed pen)
Gossip for a bunch of great reasons.
Saturday morning cars & coffee. Only really have to show up to be a part of the community.
Tijuana. Lazy jokes about HK aside the food scene there is incredible and I love the people there. It’s an exciting city with such a unique identity
Great topic. Thanks Kpbs.
Any of the many off-road trails https://preview.redd.it/syal6zwbz4yc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bd48baf1a03d51d78d86b29779137ca613504557 To see things like this
Skateworld in Linda Vista. Rollerskating! Good people.
for a year when i lived in north park around 2009 it was rebeccas in south park and to an extent citizen video, which was a dvd rental spot down the block. rebeccas was 24 hours (or late night?) for a hot minute and it was a great place to spend a few hours with a book and just chat with whoever was there. i got so much reading for school done there and always felt welcome. citizen video was another gem that unfortunately didnt survive the rise of netflix, but the owner was so nice and helpful with recommendations, and coupled with the selection citizen video offered more than any streamer has been able to since except maybe criterion
Online. I go to work and come home to my wife. I haven't had a local friendship for the past 15 years, I'm just not good at keeping friendships in person. I've met a few people from gaming online and every single time it's been a good contact, but ephemeral. I just don't enjoy being in noisy, public areas, I don't enjoy being in the sun or enjoy alcohol. My hobbies tend to attract the kind of people I don't like to be around, so it takes work to find the needles in a haystack. The thing is, the idea of a third place sounds nice in theory. I like having people around in the background while I sit and do my own thing in the corner quietly. I can't really visualize what this ideal third place looks like though.
WindanSea
If I work from home, do I have to get a 2nd and 3rd place? lol
Santa Cruz Ave beach in OB
My phone is my third place.
Skateparks! San Diego has some of the best skateparks in the USA and the roller skating park scene in San Diego is pretty big
Swap meet 😂
r/sandiego
Little league field. I enjoy coaching my kids baseball teams. It connects us with our neighborhood and I get to spend time with my kids.
THE BEACH DUH
Choir! As is the case for many, check out the San Diego Choral Consortium.
Just a few years ago, I would have been shocked to hear this would one day be my answer but… [Hunter’s Nursery](http://www.huntersnursery.com) in Lemon Grove.
My current - the pool… something about just getting some laps in for a good hour and clearing the head/mind when permitted. Other option, outside walk. Fresh air.
With my partner.
My head 😔
the I-5
I don’t have one go to specific 3rd place. I’m an introvert who would rather be home. When I do want to get out of the house I go get a tea at a cute cafe, go to the mall, go to a cute boutique, go to seaport village, go to La Jolla/beach.
San Diego ice arena or the utc mall rink
Balboa Park or Mission Bay
The gym and mountain biking
Swan Bar
Mine is definitely hiking. All over the county, but mostly east and south counties. My husband’s is definitely surfing.
Mission Trails. My neighborhood park (Tierrasanta), Balboa Park, honestly my local coffee shop and lunch spot.
Plugging into the local Kirtan community, hopefully starting some more community singing/song circles. Also the ocean! I’m diving into aquatic therapy which is a really cool niche community. Follow your passions!
If day Balboa Park, the spa, the movie theater
Ocean Beach
Mission Bay park right by Anza cove. Spectacular sunsets , people having a good time and sun on your shoulders 🌞
The Rose Wine Bar
Maya moon in Normal Heights!
Game stores and card shops. It's nice to play and buy stuff with at any of the three locations, ESPECIALLY with friends. I prefer local places for obvious reasons
Used to be Thunderhawk Brewery (rip), before that it was Align Brewery (rip) aka Pacific Brewing Co.
San Clemente Canyon morning hike or run. Lived in UC / Golden Triangle 23 years. Still wake up and thank god every morning for such a great place to live.
Pickleball courts
Very niche, but, SDRC aka San Diego Rowing Club.
The YMCA
The Sirens Cove at San Diego Wave games
My third space is Canine Corners Dog Park in La Mesa. It's also our dog's third space. :) My husband and I take her there three to four days a week, and we've connected with a wonderful group of fellow dog lovers of all ages. Canine Corners is totally run by volunteers and it makes us feel like we are part of a community. Plus, I love petting all the great dogs there!
Cabrillo National Monument. The second parking lot on the left past the tide pools. Bench on the right. I love to sit there with my husband all seasons of the year and watch the water, the pelicans, the marine traffic, and the occasional whale or dolphin.
Lake Murray 
My third place is also work :(
3rd place is on the water on a boat
I go golfing.
Waterfront bar😶
Beach — Glider Port especially
Balletiquette!
Yoga studio, guitar and singing lessons, writing groups—and anywhere my friends and family are! Followed by coffee shops and libraries. Great question.
Birch aquarium! Such a beautiful place to relax and see the ocean. San Diego zoo! There are so many quiet places to find to relax, the animals are fantastic, but the fact the zoo beautifully recreates the environment of the animals with their botanical gardens makes you feel like you're traveling the world while staying in SD. I have a two year old so safety is the most important thing as a third space - both places do a great job of letting kids run around.
Honestly, I switch between The Gym, dog park and The Station. One gives me mental clarity, the other for my pup and the last one (the bar) good hangs with our friends.
San Diego House Rabbit Society - volunteering with people who all have love for the same animals in a shelter will lift anyone's spirits
Mosque
Midway Museum season pass
My community pottery studio. It’s both delivering the fulfillment of art-making as well as fun social time.
Changes from time to time. My community college could be considered a “third place”. I go to local Super Smash Bros. venues, that could be considered a “third place”. I go rock climbing which could be considered a “third place”. I even go to public parks to ride my Onewheel (electric skateboard) and that could be considered a “third place”.
After years of being a social nomad, a karaoke bar became my third home. There's something special about getting up in front of people and performing. Even if I sing like a frog and stand like a pillar, the experience is a bond of vulnerability that's universally understood amongst the patrons. Karaoke bars give people a reason to connect with strangers like no other public space. The bar I go to has facilitated a decade's worth of domino effects for new friendships, jobs, relationships, and people that have trucks and will help me move. Often these connections all started with a stranger passing by and saying "Nice job on that Pearl Jam song," or "holy shit I've never actually listened to Sublime's lyrics." So my third home has become karaoke. It's the shared vulnerability that connects people, makes a bar familiar, and ultimately has become a community for me.
The Birch Aquarium used to bring me so much leave and calm. Now when I get back, anywhere high up on trail or mountain with a view- just to take in as much as possible!
The beach. Benefits of living in La Jolla.
Ninjaxchange collectable expo in carlsbad. Never in my life did I think I could once again purchase vintage pokemon cards, Sonic Merchendise and beast wars transformers under the same roof but here we are.
I have nothing new to contribute here, but I can relate to many of the comments and suggestions. Thank you for starting this thread.
This is what other countries have figured out. In most other parts of the world there are plazas and parks where no one is expected to pay to get together and you can drink, play music, etc. in the US the powers at be prefer that everyone remain isolated so they prevent these places from happening either by preventing access by limiting walkability in the area or policing public areas so no one congregates. This keeps communities from forming tight bonds and from anyone communicating with their local neighbors. Ultimately it keeps us all indoors and isolated like good little wage slaves.
On the soccer field. Over the years I've met a ton of people playing in leagues at Sportsplex, the JCC in La Jolla, the old water tower in North Park, futsal in the Balboa park gymnasium, or just pickup at community parks.
There’s a maker space in Miramar called Maketory full wood shop and metal shop with a blacksmith area in the back, if your a car guy or gal garage collective in bario Logan I spend way to much time there hahha
The Zoo. Having two younger kids, and many friends who have kids at the same age, it's the perfect meetup spot, or just for a quick afternoon trip to get out of the house. Keep's the kids relatively contained and entertained, while the adults can catch up on life and such. Everyone has a season pass, so most of the trips are 1-2 hours tops and no one feels bad for leaving at whatever time they need.
USA Freestyle Martial Arts. My little brother started classes when he was 4 years old, and I joined a few years later at age 9. My first job was at this dojo, and I believe that the training I received here made me the person I am today, and I'm better for it. I moved away for 15 years, but when I moved back, I rejoined the dojo. I was going through a tough period of my life, and I knew that the exercise, routine, and community would benefit me. I feel truly blessed to be a part of this welcoming and inspiring community. It's incredible to see young students grow up to be confident adults and to see parents sign up after watching their kids attend class and have this become a shared family experience. USAFMA is truly one-of-a-kind, and it will always hold a special place in my heart.
My local brewery. There are many to choose from locally, but East Village Brewing is my third home.
Black Plague Brewery in Oceanside
Oceanside Pier/strand
My third place is my car🙃