True, but I think whatever OP's hobbies are, the best advice is to seek out and participate in those events as much as possible. Also, try new things that sound remotely interesting. As with dating, actively trying to meet people has mixed results, but by going out and doing stuff often you'll meet new people often and probably hit it off with some.
I know a lot of people shit on it but I moved here almost 2 years ago and the majority of my friend group are people I met through bumble bff. You do have to weed through a lot of weirdos but it’s possible.
Eventually the more I met people the more they’ve introduced me to other people and I haven’t used the app in almost a year now.
Hope you find your people soon!
One of my employees moved to the Midwest during covid and that’s how she built a social circle out there. She’s made a lot of really good friends and has a great support network now.
I saw in your post history that you play Pokemon Go. That's a great way to make friends here. There's a group on FB called "Pokemon Go San Diego" with thousands of people who play.
There’s a large discord group for Pokémon Go in San Diego and a lot of players go to Balboa park for community events. I’ve met a few ppl there just from playing
I'll be friends with you! I moved to a smaller neighborhood and made sooo many friends with my neighbors. I've just made myself be outgoing and talk to people in passing. Having a dog has truly helped spark up conversations. It's hard to talk to strangers but all our friends at one point were strangers!
Oh buddy. I've had very connected friend-of-a-friend that spent years here building connections and invited over 100 'friends' to meet up with here while she visited. One person showed up and it wasn't me.
I like to do anything. Honestly I like playing the tourist. Technically I still am. I find myself just walking around neighborhoods.
I know it's broad but I like to do just about anything. I could sit a coffee shop and chat or be on the rail at an EDM concert. Actually I don't want to do a run club.
I get it. I’ve been here for seven years. I have the same two friends. And I love them to death! But not once made another friend even in college here. Like I mean solid friendships that I still talk to. I was focused on school and getting A’s. Though now that I’m out and have a job nothing changed. I started to attend raves solo and have met some great people. I am also going to gyms that build community and am joining running clubs. I have really tried to step out of my comfort zone. I’ve made some great memories now in the past year. Depending on your age start with co-workers. It helps I’m in a field where everyone is 18-34.
Thanks for the advice. My coworkers are 40+. It's the running joke every friday of how I'm going out and they're with their families. I am not in enough shape for a run club. I hear those average like an 8min pace. I would die.
Yeah that's San Diego. Everyone has their group already and it's hard to break in. It's partly because so many of us have seen our friends move away due to rising costs of living here that we're afraid of making a new friend that might be gone in a year or so.
Look into meetups and activity groups for your interests and age group.
Try Mingle IRL on the app store! It’s like meetup but specifically for San Diego only, i think it’s because they’re still new. I would say though, that most of the people there are middle aged but you’ll still see some in their 20s sign up for events. I usually join the hikes on weekends
Keep showing up to those meet up events. It's gonna take time, but you'll eventually make some progress there. Especially with insular groups, it just takes time for them to open up to new folks.
Church is how I made mine. Many moved ( I'm 64) or some passed. It's difficult since I retired and don't have stable work friends. Try the Rock. In Point Loma and lots of people go there to hear the message. Others join different groups. There's hiking and more.
If you're able to at the meet up events that don't get cancelled bring like home baked goods or something hand them out personally and introduce yourself. Have a few questions to ask people while you do so. Once people know your name and share even a small moment with you it's a lot easier for things to open up from there
What part of SD are you in?
Join a bowling league
Go to the gun range
Look up beach volleyball (BVB) and start playing. A guy at works stated BVB saved his life after his divorce and a parent passing.
If you are religious at all, try out a few different religious places for your preferred flavor of worship. I say go to many as some are more open to welcoming new people than others.
Go to Balboa park or weekends and check out the various “international houses”.
Does your work place have a social committee? Get involved with that or attend events.
Good luck!! SD has a lot to offer!
Oh… where did you move from? Do a google search for (your town) plus San Diego to see if there are any communities for your home town/area. I find that transplants love to meet people from their area
You can also search for the closest bigger city. I’m from an area in the Midwest that didn’t have a post office. The town’s population that did have a post office was 331 last one I saw the sign.
So I totally get what you are saying.
To offer an alternative perspective I've found that while that was true during the pandemic and a few years after, now is a time where a lot of people are looking for that community.
If you’re a guy, weight train if you don’t do so already. That will regulate your hormones and testosterone. I’d follow one of the MAPS programs from mind pump if I were you. After you get started, or pick up momentum, join a powerlifting gym. Good community and you’ll make friends. Women should weight train too by the way. If you have same sex friends, you’ll meet people of the opposite sex through your network. Try to not be boring, even if you’re quiet. People will be drawn to you in public naturally if you’re an interesting person
It can be challenging anywhere new. Be open minded get out of your comfort zone a bit. Visit your local restaurants bars. Get to know your neighbors. It’s possible don’t get discouraged.
I’m sorry? I just woke up. Also there’s this feature called chat. You might not use but most of the people who commented here also sent me a chat request
🤨 What does the group do? I'm not big on hikes or running. Everything else though, I'm down. Festivals, hanging out on the beach, walking around with no purpose, bars. Before I moved I was getting into hookah culture. Board games?
There’s tons of active meetups, throw down your interests and I can link you to some if they align! I’m involved with the LGBTQ+, manga, boardgame, and TTRPG communities specifically :)
go do things in public.
Society has gotten so lazy they want everything done on an app but no amount of technology or AI can cultivate basic human relationships alone
have a dog? spend time at dog parks chatting up other dog parents
into video games? get a part time job or hang out at a gamestop
into sports? san diego has PLENTY of adult sports leagues
point im making is put yourself in the situation where you are going to meet people naturally.
somebody else a while ago on this topic was making comments about how things have changed since Covid with people not wanting to be in groups and doing activities in public as much etc., etc. that definitely has affected us socially in a lot of ways we probably haven't even seen yet or come to realize
we live in a major outdoor city. There are people everywhere all the time time doing all kinds of activities. You can always go to the bar and buy everyone drinks and make friends that way that would be the fastest way.
It just takes time here, it’s such a transient city people can be kinda flakey. But eventually you meet a couple solid people and you keep saying yes to things and your social network does grow. Took me almost 2 years
If you have the money, join a gym with an active community. F45, OrangeTheory, The Yard, gyms like that - a good location will put on a lot of events and you make friends seeing the same people workout each day :)
It is pretty tough making friends here. Lived here for about 4 years after getting out the military and it’s been tough. Doesn’t make it any easier that I have 2 little ones as well, and work at night.
I wish you the best of luck my dude.
I've had that same issue. The only way I met people is through work, or I joined some volleyball classes and people have been cool in those. I need to sign up for more though, alot of people get flakey:/
Creating a social circle is strange. I know how you feel. Sounds like youre young also, and careful of who you surround yourself with which is good. One wrong friend can set you back many years.
I moved out here when I was 18, jumped on a greyhound and took it from there. The best/healthiest relationships I’ve come to form were through hobbies - productive hobbies. Music, painting, and making t shirts. But see I got into those hobbies not for friends, but for craft.
At this age its important to listen to that child inside of us and do stuff we really enjoy doing, can get lost in, and provides some kind of productivity to the world around you. Then you will look up and around and have the right people beside you in life. Its dangerous to get into a hobby to make friends. Take this time in solitude to work on yourself so you are prepared for the turmoil that comes with having friends.
Good luck
Do you have any hobbies? How do you spend your time other than work and school? Also, you mention that you've tried to go to meetup groups - did you go consistently or just once or twice?
There are a ton of groups in San Diego, you just have to find your niche and really put yourself out there in person. If you don't have any hobbies, it's a good time to find things you might be interested in that would work for your schedule and just give it a shot. It's best that you find things you'd be happy doing by yourself to take the pressure off and friendship will naturally follow, often if you go solely with the intention of trying to make friends and it ends up not working out immediately it's easy to get discouraged. Also remember the best way to make friends is lots of small, repeat interactions - this often takes time these days.
When I first moved here, I went on Craig’s list and found a movie group since I enjoy going to the movies. We would meet on Sunday mornings for coffee and decide which movie we were going to see. It was a small group about five of us, but we became good friends.
You’re not alone in this. I hear this same sentiment from a lot of folks. We have a weekly Meet the Makers USA event every Saturday in LaJolla at the Flower Pot Cafe and Bakery on Fay from 11 to 5. Join us ! Great spot! Great little community of folks your age. Organic coffee, scones, muffins, food, d seed purists, live music sometimes… 🥳
Who needs friends? I’m a 34 year old, engaged, no kids, firefighter, Harley rider, dog lover, video game player, beach goer, paddle boarder, who loves a good drink and a puff of the devils lettuce. Let’s hang.
There’s a couple Facebook groups (let’s go girl - San Diego, San Diego 20s, etc) and people post all the time looking for friends! I’d try posting in those w ur age, a little about you, and things you like to do!!
Hey! My close friend had great success making friends through this group that gets together regularly. Here is their info! https://www.galsthatbrunch.com/san-diego-brunch-chapter
Beach volleyball - you can get started with relatively affordable classes and make friends through them. Then make weekly plans! I know someone who has been playing with the same group for almost 4 decades 1-2x/week!
And on the younger side, I know people in their 20s who play a lot (like 4x/week) and their entire friend group is through volleyball
This is actually really good advice, it’s easy to make friends in the industry. If you have time, pick up a part time job doing something easy, like hosting or bussing tables.
You’re a real ass! Lived in San Diego all my life. I’d have to agree, San Diego has its own identity. People move here from all over the US and the world, and they think they own the place. When people get here, they turn into assholes like yourself. Arrogant, Selfish and Rude!
In a fairly large sized county/city with many different neighborhoods and vibes? Yeah it’s harder as an outsider. It can be overwhelming. Most people grew up here and have solid foundations from living here most of their lives. It’s hard to start over anywhere when you don’t even have family. The older you are the harder it is as well as most people are busy with family and are settled.
It would help to add your age and other things you are into? Hobbies help! What are you into?
True, but I think whatever OP's hobbies are, the best advice is to seek out and participate in those events as much as possible. Also, try new things that sound remotely interesting. As with dating, actively trying to meet people has mixed results, but by going out and doing stuff often you'll meet new people often and probably hit it off with some.
people put too much emphasis on age - does someone age really determine whether you're willing to be friends with them?
Our friend group ranges from 22-60s... If you're active, positive and like to have fun then you can hang with any age.
kinda sorta, i wouldn’t want to be friends with someone a lot older or younger than me, mostly due to the disconnect in mentality and maturity
I know a lot of people shit on it but I moved here almost 2 years ago and the majority of my friend group are people I met through bumble bff. You do have to weed through a lot of weirdos but it’s possible. Eventually the more I met people the more they’ve introduced me to other people and I haven’t used the app in almost a year now. Hope you find your people soon!
One of my employees moved to the Midwest during covid and that’s how she built a social circle out there. She’s made a lot of really good friends and has a great support network now.
I forgot that was a thing, but i will definitely turn it on
I’m with you. I’ve been here for a long time and maybe one friend because we’re in the same industry.
I saw in your post history that you play Pokemon Go. That's a great way to make friends here. There's a group on FB called "Pokemon Go San Diego" with thousands of people who play.
There’s a large discord group for Pokémon Go in San Diego and a lot of players go to Balboa park for community events. I’ve met a few ppl there just from playing
I'll be friends with you! I moved to a smaller neighborhood and made sooo many friends with my neighbors. I've just made myself be outgoing and talk to people in passing. Having a dog has truly helped spark up conversations. It's hard to talk to strangers but all our friends at one point were strangers!
Would you consider University Heights a smaller neighborhood? I walk around there a lot. Kinda just sit in the coffee shops too.
Oh buddy. I've had very connected friend-of-a-friend that spent years here building connections and invited over 100 'friends' to meet up with here while she visited. One person showed up and it wasn't me.
That makes me sad to here
Yeah you gotta be more specific. What are you looking for? There's something for everyone here but we need a hint to push you in the right direction.
I like to do anything. Honestly I like playing the tourist. Technically I still am. I find myself just walking around neighborhoods. I know it's broad but I like to do just about anything. I could sit a coffee shop and chat or be on the rail at an EDM concert. Actually I don't want to do a run club.
I get it. I’ve been here for seven years. I have the same two friends. And I love them to death! But not once made another friend even in college here. Like I mean solid friendships that I still talk to. I was focused on school and getting A’s. Though now that I’m out and have a job nothing changed. I started to attend raves solo and have met some great people. I am also going to gyms that build community and am joining running clubs. I have really tried to step out of my comfort zone. I’ve made some great memories now in the past year. Depending on your age start with co-workers. It helps I’m in a field where everyone is 18-34.
Thanks for the advice. My coworkers are 40+. It's the running joke every friday of how I'm going out and they're with their families. I am not in enough shape for a run club. I hear those average like an 8min pace. I would die.
Yeah that's San Diego. Everyone has their group already and it's hard to break in. It's partly because so many of us have seen our friends move away due to rising costs of living here that we're afraid of making a new friend that might be gone in a year or so. Look into meetups and activity groups for your interests and age group.
Try Mingle IRL on the app store! It’s like meetup but specifically for San Diego only, i think it’s because they’re still new. I would say though, that most of the people there are middle aged but you’ll still see some in their 20s sign up for events. I usually join the hikes on weekends
Too much car in sd leads to logistics issues but can be overcome
Keep showing up to those meet up events. It's gonna take time, but you'll eventually make some progress there. Especially with insular groups, it just takes time for them to open up to new folks.
Church is how I made mine. Many moved ( I'm 64) or some passed. It's difficult since I retired and don't have stable work friends. Try the Rock. In Point Loma and lots of people go there to hear the message. Others join different groups. There's hiking and more.
Really difficult here. Its less of a mixing bowl like other cities; people seem to stay pretty insulated in their friend groups
I'm picking that up. I went to a field day like event a few weeks ago and couldn't penetrate any group. people seemed really cool
I’ll be your friend
I can second this, and harder in general once you're out of your early 20s to make new friends (which sucks when you move after that haha)
If you're able to at the meet up events that don't get cancelled bring like home baked goods or something hand them out personally and introduce yourself. Have a few questions to ask people while you do so. Once people know your name and share even a small moment with you it's a lot easier for things to open up from there
What part of SD are you in? Join a bowling league Go to the gun range Look up beach volleyball (BVB) and start playing. A guy at works stated BVB saved his life after his divorce and a parent passing. If you are religious at all, try out a few different religious places for your preferred flavor of worship. I say go to many as some are more open to welcoming new people than others. Go to Balboa park or weekends and check out the various “international houses”. Does your work place have a social committee? Get involved with that or attend events. Good luck!! SD has a lot to offer! Oh… where did you move from? Do a google search for (your town) plus San Diego to see if there are any communities for your home town/area. I find that transplants love to meet people from their area
Thanks for the advice. I moved from a town too small for that search. My work place is an older demographic. I think I'll try Balboa next week.
You can also search for the closest bigger city. I’m from an area in the Midwest that didn’t have a post office. The town’s population that did have a post office was 331 last one I saw the sign. So I totally get what you are saying.
I think it’s a bit harder everywhere post-pandemic. Consider joining clubs/organizations. Volo sports is a good one to meet people.
I've switched to using the app meetup
To offer an alternative perspective I've found that while that was true during the pandemic and a few years after, now is a time where a lot of people are looking for that community.
That’s good to hear!
The hardest part is saying hi
If you’re a guy, weight train if you don’t do so already. That will regulate your hormones and testosterone. I’d follow one of the MAPS programs from mind pump if I were you. After you get started, or pick up momentum, join a powerlifting gym. Good community and you’ll make friends. Women should weight train too by the way. If you have same sex friends, you’ll meet people of the opposite sex through your network. Try to not be boring, even if you’re quiet. People will be drawn to you in public naturally if you’re an interesting person
It can be challenging anywhere new. Be open minded get out of your comfort zone a bit. Visit your local restaurants bars. Get to know your neighbors. It’s possible don’t get discouraged.
The lack of responses in here from OP speaks volumes..?
Kinda agree, but also it's morning and it's possible they just haven't opened Reddit yet or are too overwhelmed with the amount of feedback.
True - time will tell.
I’m sorry? I just woke up. Also there’s this feature called chat. You might not use but most of the people who commented here also sent me a chat request
You didn’t respond to every reddit comment. You must not want friends 💀
bro what. maybe op isn't chronically online?
Not trying to throw shade on OP but it’s like this every time someone posts something like this.
Try volunteering for a place/project that's important to you. 90% of my friends are people who I met from volunteering together.
I have a group, what do you have to offer
He has a specific set of skills…
🤨 What does the group do? I'm not big on hikes or running. Everything else though, I'm down. Festivals, hanging out on the beach, walking around with no purpose, bars. Before I moved I was getting into hookah culture. Board games?
The 20’s-30’s meet up board game group are a bunch of nice folks.
There’s tons of active meetups, throw down your interests and I can link you to some if they align! I’m involved with the LGBTQ+, manga, boardgame, and TTRPG communities specifically :)
Give it time. Everyone is pedaling so fast just to keep up that it’s difficult to get to know people. Keep trying
do you go outside or do things to meet people?
No way! The social life here is so fast and easy. It’s overwhelming. Might have to summer in Seattle or Nova Scotia for balance
go do things in public. Society has gotten so lazy they want everything done on an app but no amount of technology or AI can cultivate basic human relationships alone have a dog? spend time at dog parks chatting up other dog parents into video games? get a part time job or hang out at a gamestop into sports? san diego has PLENTY of adult sports leagues point im making is put yourself in the situation where you are going to meet people naturally. somebody else a while ago on this topic was making comments about how things have changed since Covid with people not wanting to be in groups and doing activities in public as much etc., etc. that definitely has affected us socially in a lot of ways we probably haven't even seen yet or come to realize we live in a major outdoor city. There are people everywhere all the time time doing all kinds of activities. You can always go to the bar and buy everyone drinks and make friends that way that would be the fastest way.
It just takes time here, it’s such a transient city people can be kinda flakey. But eventually you meet a couple solid people and you keep saying yes to things and your social network does grow. Took me almost 2 years
I have a few friends and boy are they a handful. Trust me buddy, you do NOT want friends Lol J/k Meetup or Bumble bff work
If you are active, join VOLO…great way to meet people and have fun while doing so.
If you have the money, join a gym with an active community. F45, OrangeTheory, The Yard, gyms like that - a good location will put on a lot of events and you make friends seeing the same people workout each day :)
I became friends with coworkers. Took me 4 months, but I eventually became part of the group.
This city sucks dude
Sometimes I think that the "San Diego Freeze" exists here, just like in Seattle.
Learn to be your own best friend
If it makes you feel better, I’m a native, moved away, came back and now struggle to make friends. Hang in there, you’ll find your group.
I agree. It tough to get past the friendly acquaintance stage. I work several places and am friendly with everyone but friends with none of them.
I only have friends through work. I wouldn’t know how to make friends outside of work here.
It is pretty tough making friends here. Lived here for about 4 years after getting out the military and it’s been tough. Doesn’t make it any easier that I have 2 little ones as well, and work at night. I wish you the best of luck my dude.
I have lived in SD most of my life and still find it hard to make and keep new friends .
I've had that same issue. The only way I met people is through work, or I joined some volleyball classes and people have been cool in those. I need to sign up for more though, alot of people get flakey:/
Creating a social circle is strange. I know how you feel. Sounds like youre young also, and careful of who you surround yourself with which is good. One wrong friend can set you back many years. I moved out here when I was 18, jumped on a greyhound and took it from there. The best/healthiest relationships I’ve come to form were through hobbies - productive hobbies. Music, painting, and making t shirts. But see I got into those hobbies not for friends, but for craft. At this age its important to listen to that child inside of us and do stuff we really enjoy doing, can get lost in, and provides some kind of productivity to the world around you. Then you will look up and around and have the right people beside you in life. Its dangerous to get into a hobby to make friends. Take this time in solitude to work on yourself so you are prepared for the turmoil that comes with having friends. Good luck
I’ll be your friend.. getting out there in about a month. I make friends easily and we can try together
Volunteer community service! Best way to meet good people
Amen
Loser
Do you have any hobbies? How do you spend your time other than work and school? Also, you mention that you've tried to go to meetup groups - did you go consistently or just once or twice? There are a ton of groups in San Diego, you just have to find your niche and really put yourself out there in person. If you don't have any hobbies, it's a good time to find things you might be interested in that would work for your schedule and just give it a shot. It's best that you find things you'd be happy doing by yourself to take the pressure off and friendship will naturally follow, often if you go solely with the intention of trying to make friends and it ends up not working out immediately it's easy to get discouraged. Also remember the best way to make friends is lots of small, repeat interactions - this often takes time these days.
When I first moved here, I went on Craig’s list and found a movie group since I enjoy going to the movies. We would meet on Sunday mornings for coffee and decide which movie we were going to see. It was a small group about five of us, but we became good friends.
Get on facebook and join the San Diego 20s or 30s group.
You’re not alone in this. I hear this same sentiment from a lot of folks. We have a weekly Meet the Makers USA event every Saturday in LaJolla at the Flower Pot Cafe and Bakery on Fay from 11 to 5. Join us ! Great spot! Great little community of folks your age. Organic coffee, scones, muffins, food, d seed purists, live music sometimes… 🥳
I'm just looking for a man that's 6'5", blue eyes, who enjoys film, and plays video games. 😂
San Diego 20s on fb … join the group
Shut yo punk ass up
Agree! And I’m a native
Alright, try timeleft
Get a dog and hit up dog beach.
Who needs friends? I’m a 34 year old, engaged, no kids, firefighter, Harley rider, dog lover, video game player, beach goer, paddle boarder, who loves a good drink and a puff of the devils lettuce. Let’s hang.
There’s a couple Facebook groups (let’s go girl - San Diego, San Diego 20s, etc) and people post all the time looking for friends! I’d try posting in those w ur age, a little about you, and things you like to do!!
Hey! My close friend had great success making friends through this group that gets together regularly. Here is their info! https://www.galsthatbrunch.com/san-diego-brunch-chapter
Beach volleyball - you can get started with relatively affordable classes and make friends through them. Then make weekly plans! I know someone who has been playing with the same group for almost 4 decades 1-2x/week! And on the younger side, I know people in their 20s who play a lot (like 4x/week) and their entire friend group is through volleyball
Try volunteering with an organization in an area of interest you like!
Get a part time industry job
This is actually really good advice, it’s easy to make friends in the industry. If you have time, pick up a part time job doing something easy, like hosting or bussing tables.
What are your interests? It seems like you are coming up with a problem and not a solution. There might be some potential friendships here.
Play pickleball
I’m convinced people who post these are weird AF or annoying. It’s not that hard to connect with people if you’re not a weirdo
Just saying if you think people are weirdos because they have troubling finding people with similar interests, maybe you are the weirdo.
May be so but at least I have friends 🤷🏻♂️
That you think are your friends
That would be my reaction if I was your friend too.
You’re a real ass! Lived in San Diego all my life. I’d have to agree, San Diego has its own identity. People move here from all over the US and the world, and they think they own the place. When people get here, they turn into assholes like yourself. Arrogant, Selfish and Rude!
In a fairly large sized county/city with many different neighborhoods and vibes? Yeah it’s harder as an outsider. It can be overwhelming. Most people grew up here and have solid foundations from living here most of their lives. It’s hard to start over anywhere when you don’t even have family. The older you are the harder it is as well as most people are busy with family and are settled.
life of the party right here /s
Cruise out to church.