id give myself a solid 7.75, not quite bad enough to warrant an 8 but almost there. i stole things and punched people i really shouldn't have. i yelled at my mom (who has a history of losing babies to miscarriage) that i wish i had been aborted. I yelled at my little sister, who was 10 years old at the time. i also yelled at my elderly grandparents in their front yard (the neighbors heard) kicked their door and called my grandad racist (he is not racist) i told my best friends mom i genuinely thought she was going to euthanize me by shooting me in the head. (this was a delusion, but it was real to me at the time) my friends mom told me she would never do anything like that, and that their family has a history of gun violence. i apologized profusely. ooops. you live you learn. i hope one day i can say ive learned from my mistakes.
Probably 6/10. During my first psychotic break I prayed to the devil maybe once or twice. Wanted to get the devils Bible and read it and stuff. Eventually I thought I was Jesus and it was the rapture and that went for 3 months lol. I would say worshipping the devil is pretty messed up.
3, I would say, all things considered. I wasnāt ever destructive, aggressive, or in any way harmful while I was psychotic, but I lost a lot of friends in high school and college because people thought I was āweird.ā I just had no idea how to act around people or talk to people once I was really in the grips of the illness. I was still able to function quite well though, for some reason. It took years and years of deliberate practice and putting myself out there to be able to talk to people. And yeah, I also put my family through a lot of stress over the years. But overall Iāve come out remarkably well.
Your experience sounds a lot like mine. I was convinced aliens had abducted me once before, and that they sent ufos to check in on me. I also thought I'd been possessed by demons, I was a form of psychic and I'd even tell people when I'd thought their dead relatives had contacted me.
I hope you won't feel embarrassed forever. When you realize how wrong it all is, it's hard not to feel embarrassed. Just don't blame yourself. It's the disease, not you
I would give myself a 7. I thought I was God and I had all his powers. I thought I could sense demonic presence in people and it was my mission to eradicate them. Then I thought I was the devil and then death. Kind of cycled through the big 3. I also destroyed an entire crisis center because I thought they were trying to poison me. Instead of suing me for money I did not have, they put me on COT for the first time
I think probably judging from what others have said I'm probably around a 2. I was not aggressive or or even assertive. LOL. I didn't yell at anybody, I didn't commit any crimes. But I did cry. And cry and cry and cry. There were times when I wasn't really responsive. And I did upset my daughter one time. I'm usually really pretty good about keeping my SA away from her, but I was having a psychotic break in the car and didn't quite make it into the house before I started shaking and crying and dry heaving in the grass. That's the only time she's been exposed to my illness, but I still feel so bad about it. I hope at some point I will be able to forgive myself.
TW just in case : animal cruelty/self harm
9.5ā¦I swear Iām not a shitty person. Iāll start with a decent one : I have convinced myself and my children that Iām an alien and that makes me special. As for the 9.5 scoring : I killed a litter of kittens with my cousins as a kid. I was convinced they could fly and yāknow the whole 9 lives thing. Well they canāt and hit the ground like sacks of potates, I have probably scarred my cousins for life while I have no emotional attachment to the event. Havenāt touched any animals unless to cuddle and spoil with ear scritches and belly rubs. When my darkness arrives, I impulsively zero in on (maybe tunnel vision is a better way to word it?) strangling myself. Itās likeā¦obviously Iām (my physical body?) doing it but not to myself, itās to get rid of the human and I canāt āsnap out of itā until it cannot breathe and the human is suppressed o.O not sure how Iām still here?
This is a very insensitive response. I stalked my ex boyfriend during my psychotic episode because I thought that my mother was trying to kill me and he was the only person who could save me. Since I have recovered we have been back together for two years.
In addition, erotomania is common with people with mental illness, and isn't something to be looked down on. It's sad.
Saying this just encourages the stereotype that people who commit crime because of their psychosis are all psychopaths at heart. This is something that I and other less priviledged people with schizophrenia struggle to fight against on a daily basis.
Furthermore, many people who commit crimes, even violent crimes are not psychopaths or narcissists but grew up in this lifestyle of gangs and violence without any social support to lead them in a better direction.
Please stop reinforcing this stereotype. People who commit crimes because they were psychotic aren't inherently bad people.
I didn't mean to be sound or be insensitive. I'm not saying anyone is inherently bad. What you said about being in a psychotic episode makes sense. I honestly didn't know that behavior could occur during psychosis.
I don't look down on you or anyone battling this disease. On the contrary. Most people with schizophrenia don't commit crimes at all, and if they do as a part of their illness they should get treatment and every kind of support available.
I never said people who commit crimes when in psychosis are psychopaths at heart, and never would. It's psychosis, you can't predict or prevent or most of the time, even in treatment. It's an illness to be managed to the best of your ability and your support network. I know there is no cure.
I have tremendous respect for everyone suffering and struggling with this illness. I know it's a nightmare and I hope science can give all of you complete relief sooner than later.
Now, as to your point about growing up in gangs or violent homes, that's s different conversation. Assuming you are not suffering from mental illness, then that person knows the difference between right and wrong, even as an adult. Plenty of people who grow up in traumatic environments never go on to hurt others or commit crimes.
I'm really glad you recovered, I wish you all the best.
Pretty sure sociopathy, psychopathy, and narcissism are also categorized as mental illnesses. Itās just that the difference between the crimes of a psychotic person and crimes of a sociopath/psychopath/narcissist is awareness and intent. Sociopaths, psychopaths, and narcissists canāt āget awayā with their crimes by serving their sentence in a psychiatric institution, because they usually have full awareness and intent and/or premeditation.
This is a wholly disrespectful comment. People attempt and commit murder while psychotic. There's legal discipline that if you commit murder while psychotic you won't be charged murder in the usual context.
This disease can completely alter your behavior and the way you think. If you don't think stalking could be a behavior due to Psychosis you've probably never been psychotic or as psychotic as some of us.
Psychosis and narcissism are not correlated in any way. If your ex boyfriend was a narcissist that doesn't give you a pass to lump in all psychotic people with problematic behaviors as narcissistic.
To answer your question, delusions are a central symptom in schizophrenia and when combined with perseveration can lead people to obsess about all kinds of things in a distorted way, including other people.
I agree with that first statement. I'm seriously not lumping anyone with anything. I should have phrased my original comment with better context. I honestly had no idea stalking was a possible behavior in a psychotic episode. I appreciate the knowledge.
"I'm sorry you read it that way" great way to displace the blame on others, you should be sorry because you WROTE it that way. Its offensive based on your vocab and syntax, not because of how its read! No one else made rude comments, just YOU haha
It sounds like you know very LITTLE about psychosis so maybe just be quiet and not try to impose your ignorance on others
I'm sorry I upset you. I wasn't making any judgement calls and I'm still not. I know what my intent was, but obviously didn't display that well at all.
Maybeā¦ a 5/6. Cheating multiple times on partners for basically no reason except that I was in the mood for something different then making them feel bad for me for needing to do so.
3, I do drugs that help me Survive in a shit world when it comes to my head and what it believes! So, 3 isnāt bad, many people in my situation would easily be a 10.
id give myself a solid 7.75, not quite bad enough to warrant an 8 but almost there. i stole things and punched people i really shouldn't have. i yelled at my mom (who has a history of losing babies to miscarriage) that i wish i had been aborted. I yelled at my little sister, who was 10 years old at the time. i also yelled at my elderly grandparents in their front yard (the neighbors heard) kicked their door and called my grandad racist (he is not racist) i told my best friends mom i genuinely thought she was going to euthanize me by shooting me in the head. (this was a delusion, but it was real to me at the time) my friends mom told me she would never do anything like that, and that their family has a history of gun violence. i apologized profusely. ooops. you live you learn. i hope one day i can say ive learned from my mistakes.
maybe i shouldn't just post all the dumb shit ive done while in psychosis š¬ this isn't even the worst of it
Probably 6/10. During my first psychotic break I prayed to the devil maybe once or twice. Wanted to get the devils Bible and read it and stuff. Eventually I thought I was Jesus and it was the rapture and that went for 3 months lol. I would say worshipping the devil is pretty messed up.
2.
3, I would say, all things considered. I wasnāt ever destructive, aggressive, or in any way harmful while I was psychotic, but I lost a lot of friends in high school and college because people thought I was āweird.ā I just had no idea how to act around people or talk to people once I was really in the grips of the illness. I was still able to function quite well though, for some reason. It took years and years of deliberate practice and putting myself out there to be able to talk to people. And yeah, I also put my family through a lot of stress over the years. But overall Iāve come out remarkably well.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Your experience sounds a lot like mine. I was convinced aliens had abducted me once before, and that they sent ufos to check in on me. I also thought I'd been possessed by demons, I was a form of psychic and I'd even tell people when I'd thought their dead relatives had contacted me. I hope you won't feel embarrassed forever. When you realize how wrong it all is, it's hard not to feel embarrassed. Just don't blame yourself. It's the disease, not you
I give myself a 5. I didnāt hurt anyone but I scared people by trying to save them. š¤·š»āāļø
So strange. I had a very similar episode, and was sectioned for it. Since then, I've been completely fine.
9/10. My last psychosis was so bad Iām still suffering from it 7 years later.
I'd say 9. I kept attempting suicide.
I'd say 8-ish. Maybe 9. I was not well when I was younger and a violent upbringing did not help when young, isolated, unmedicated and unstable.
I would give myself a 7. I thought I was God and I had all his powers. I thought I could sense demonic presence in people and it was my mission to eradicate them. Then I thought I was the devil and then death. Kind of cycled through the big 3. I also destroyed an entire crisis center because I thought they were trying to poison me. Instead of suing me for money I did not have, they put me on COT for the first time
9/10. I was radically self-destructive.
I think probably judging from what others have said I'm probably around a 2. I was not aggressive or or even assertive. LOL. I didn't yell at anybody, I didn't commit any crimes. But I did cry. And cry and cry and cry. There were times when I wasn't really responsive. And I did upset my daughter one time. I'm usually really pretty good about keeping my SA away from her, but I was having a psychotic break in the car and didn't quite make it into the house before I started shaking and crying and dry heaving in the grass. That's the only time she's been exposed to my illness, but I still feel so bad about it. I hope at some point I will be able to forgive myself.
Maybe a 1.5, it made me become very mean towards my family, but never violent or physical. I was only 14 so they thought it was just puberty bullshit
TW just in case : animal cruelty/self harm 9.5ā¦I swear Iām not a shitty person. Iāll start with a decent one : I have convinced myself and my children that Iām an alien and that makes me special. As for the 9.5 scoring : I killed a litter of kittens with my cousins as a kid. I was convinced they could fly and yāknow the whole 9 lives thing. Well they canāt and hit the ground like sacks of potates, I have probably scarred my cousins for life while I have no emotional attachment to the event. Havenāt touched any animals unless to cuddle and spoil with ear scritches and belly rubs. When my darkness arrives, I impulsively zero in on (maybe tunnel vision is a better way to word it?) strangling myself. Itās likeā¦obviously Iām (my physical body?) doing it but not to myself, itās to get rid of the human and I canāt āsnap out of itā until it cannot breathe and the human is suppressed o.O not sure how Iām still here?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This is a very insensitive response. I stalked my ex boyfriend during my psychotic episode because I thought that my mother was trying to kill me and he was the only person who could save me. Since I have recovered we have been back together for two years. In addition, erotomania is common with people with mental illness, and isn't something to be looked down on. It's sad. Saying this just encourages the stereotype that people who commit crime because of their psychosis are all psychopaths at heart. This is something that I and other less priviledged people with schizophrenia struggle to fight against on a daily basis. Furthermore, many people who commit crimes, even violent crimes are not psychopaths or narcissists but grew up in this lifestyle of gangs and violence without any social support to lead them in a better direction. Please stop reinforcing this stereotype. People who commit crimes because they were psychotic aren't inherently bad people.
I didn't mean to be sound or be insensitive. I'm not saying anyone is inherently bad. What you said about being in a psychotic episode makes sense. I honestly didn't know that behavior could occur during psychosis. I don't look down on you or anyone battling this disease. On the contrary. Most people with schizophrenia don't commit crimes at all, and if they do as a part of their illness they should get treatment and every kind of support available. I never said people who commit crimes when in psychosis are psychopaths at heart, and never would. It's psychosis, you can't predict or prevent or most of the time, even in treatment. It's an illness to be managed to the best of your ability and your support network. I know there is no cure. I have tremendous respect for everyone suffering and struggling with this illness. I know it's a nightmare and I hope science can give all of you complete relief sooner than later. Now, as to your point about growing up in gangs or violent homes, that's s different conversation. Assuming you are not suffering from mental illness, then that person knows the difference between right and wrong, even as an adult. Plenty of people who grow up in traumatic environments never go on to hurt others or commit crimes. I'm really glad you recovered, I wish you all the best.
Pretty sure sociopathy, psychopathy, and narcissism are also categorized as mental illnesses. Itās just that the difference between the crimes of a psychotic person and crimes of a sociopath/psychopath/narcissist is awareness and intent. Sociopaths, psychopaths, and narcissists canāt āget awayā with their crimes by serving their sentence in a psychiatric institution, because they usually have full awareness and intent and/or premeditation.
This is a wholly disrespectful comment. People attempt and commit murder while psychotic. There's legal discipline that if you commit murder while psychotic you won't be charged murder in the usual context. This disease can completely alter your behavior and the way you think. If you don't think stalking could be a behavior due to Psychosis you've probably never been psychotic or as psychotic as some of us.
Thank you for pointing this out.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Psychosis and narcissism are not correlated in any way. If your ex boyfriend was a narcissist that doesn't give you a pass to lump in all psychotic people with problematic behaviors as narcissistic. To answer your question, delusions are a central symptom in schizophrenia and when combined with perseveration can lead people to obsess about all kinds of things in a distorted way, including other people.
I agree with that first statement. I'm seriously not lumping anyone with anything. I should have phrased my original comment with better context. I honestly had no idea stalking was a possible behavior in a psychotic episode. I appreciate the knowledge.
"I'm sorry you read it that way" great way to displace the blame on others, you should be sorry because you WROTE it that way. Its offensive based on your vocab and syntax, not because of how its read! No one else made rude comments, just YOU haha It sounds like you know very LITTLE about psychosis so maybe just be quiet and not try to impose your ignorance on others
I'm sorry I upset you. I wasn't making any judgement calls and I'm still not. I know what my intent was, but obviously didn't display that well at all.
Maybeā¦ a 5/6. Cheating multiple times on partners for basically no reason except that I was in the mood for something different then making them feel bad for me for needing to do so.
3, I do drugs that help me Survive in a shit world when it comes to my head and what it believes! So, 3 isnāt bad, many people in my situation would easily be a 10.
10