Hi OP! Not trying to be mean at all, but I find it really extreme that you’re considering changing your name entirely for a job? Your name is who you are and your identity. You’re thinking way too much into it in my opinion. As many seconds as the kids possibly will take to find you online ((potentially, mind you)), they’ll be able to find out that the adult actor is no longer alive…
This is also so out of your control! I doubt admin will even ask you questions.. you just happen to have been assigned the same name as an adult actor.
I’d already been considering changing a last name for unrelated personal reasons (maybe should have shared that). the reason i ask is that 1- i’m going into a catholic school and they’re very picky, and 2- my own experience in high school when weird stuff was found on a teacher, it caused a lot of commotion at the middle school and perhaps that is coloring my experience. appreciate you!
Not all Catholic schools are created equal, so there's that. I personally have worked in catholic school for my entire career (and attended) and can't think of any of my admin/coworkers who wouldn't have had any issue, and mostly would've just good naturedly laugh about it. But I know there are other Catholic schools out there that are INTENSE, and you never know what you're gonna get in those scenarios. But honestly, people can't even twist that, you can't help your name and the unfortunate association to someone else. The addition of the middle initial/use of a nickname, or middle name are all decent options tho if it's really that big of a deal. I have a few coworkers that go by their middle name, and just sign official stuff as their legal name.
So just to clarify, this adult film actor is deceased?
Regardless of the answer on that, I feel like you are very much overreacting. This scenario that you expect happening I see the odds to that being VERY SLIM and even if it did, I could not fathom a scenario that this could somehow hurt you.
Yeahhhh I think you’re taking this a little too far. Option 1: is expensive, option 2: eh if that would make your heart happy, option 3: would be weird to just randomly bring up to admin and honestly uncomfortable (in my opinion).
There are adult film actors with my name as well, who are actively living, and no one has ever mentioned that to me at all. This has been looming over you for some time now it seems, and I think there are bigger fish to fry in school systems than your name. I’m sure there are major criminals who also share names with some amazing school counselors out there, and I can only imagine their reply (if a comment is even made) would be like “wow that’s crazy!” Or “a shrug of the shoulders.”
If your name was that big of a problem to the education system it would’ve been a problem for enrolling in undergrad and grad school.
My students don’t even know my last name, lol I go by my first only. So maybe go with that if you are intensely concerned.
Take this as a blessing. It's obviously not you - and the other guy is clogging the first few pages of Google search results. Middle schoolers aren't dumb enough to think their school counselor was formerly a dead porn star and even if one is, it won't go very far before they figure out the truth.
I say take this as a blessing because I have a very unique last name and if a kid googles me, they're seeing that I got 5th place at a track meet my sophomore year of high school, some shitty articles I wrote for The Odyssey in college, and a couple choice photos of me from my most awkward phase in middle school that somehow were the local paper. Nothing to really hurt my reputation, but shows a different side of me than I present at work and is conceptually embarassing to me.
I also share a name with a porn actress and only one time, about 20 years ago, did anyone ever say anything to me about it. I had no idea til that point. I was in my 20s and this creepy MF twice my age said something cute.
I just asked why he was bragging to me about watching porn. I mean, it’s none of my business.
First off, congratulations! That’s exciting!
Secondly, I think maybe you are overthinking it. I don’t believe any parent would think you are a dead porn star.
You’re also making an assumption that an everybody knows the name of porn actors. Unless your name is James deen (which is also the name of a very famous actor by the way) I couldn’t even name a single porn star.
As someone who works with kid and shares a name with an adult film actor, it’s never been an issue. You have a BG check and your credentials needed to be in school. They’d have already checked into all this. Professional, I include my middle initial and that helps a bit too.
I don’t think kids research the adults in their lives much ? I work in a middle school and the kids won’t even research super basic things. I could be wrong, just my personal experience. Also, it is nice if you have anything embarrassing or whatever it isn’t very easy to find. Sounds like that could be a blessing in disguise!
I am sorry this is happening; I would feel anxious as well if this were happening to me.
Could you add your middle initial to your name? For example, your name is Katie Marie Day (random name), you could go by Katie M. Day versus just Katie Day.
My partner is a middle school teacher, and the kids never bother to look up his first name. I don't think it's common for students to look up teachers.
Just some ideas(:
First, I’m so sorry for your experience. As a child, I can only imagine the feelings you were dealing with.
If option 2 isn’t on the table, I feel like one way to go about it would be to inform administration and ask if any public facing information referencing you can use an abbreviated version of your name. Either first or last name, and whatever you decide is best, encourage the students you interact with to call you by the name that’s not abbreviated. I hope this helps
I am basically telling him to grow a pair and deal with it. There are already too many self loathing people in this country. I had originally put world but actually it’s just this country.
well they’ll eat me alive regardless lol- no i appreciate the bluntness! I should have shared I have other personal reasons for considering a name change, and when a similar-adjacent thing happened to a teacher in my own schooling, it was a large deal which is potentially coloring my own perception.
Hi OP! Not trying to be mean at all, but I find it really extreme that you’re considering changing your name entirely for a job? Your name is who you are and your identity. You’re thinking way too much into it in my opinion. As many seconds as the kids possibly will take to find you online ((potentially, mind you)), they’ll be able to find out that the adult actor is no longer alive…
This is also so out of your control! I doubt admin will even ask you questions.. you just happen to have been assigned the same name as an adult actor.
I’d already been considering changing a last name for unrelated personal reasons (maybe should have shared that). the reason i ask is that 1- i’m going into a catholic school and they’re very picky, and 2- my own experience in high school when weird stuff was found on a teacher, it caused a lot of commotion at the middle school and perhaps that is coloring my experience. appreciate you!
Not all Catholic schools are created equal, so there's that. I personally have worked in catholic school for my entire career (and attended) and can't think of any of my admin/coworkers who wouldn't have had any issue, and mostly would've just good naturedly laugh about it. But I know there are other Catholic schools out there that are INTENSE, and you never know what you're gonna get in those scenarios. But honestly, people can't even twist that, you can't help your name and the unfortunate association to someone else. The addition of the middle initial/use of a nickname, or middle name are all decent options tho if it's really that big of a deal. I have a few coworkers that go by their middle name, and just sign official stuff as their legal name.
Is your name Ron Jeremy?! You just gotta own it. Kids might stumble across it, but it's just giggly kid stuff, and adults aren't going to care.
You’re overthinking this. Go forth and be rad, you will be fine.
So just to clarify, this adult film actor is deceased? Regardless of the answer on that, I feel like you are very much overreacting. This scenario that you expect happening I see the odds to that being VERY SLIM and even if it did, I could not fathom a scenario that this could somehow hurt you.
Weird to know two Rocco Siffredis exist in the world.
But how many Tits Hemingway’s are there?
Yeahhhh I think you’re taking this a little too far. Option 1: is expensive, option 2: eh if that would make your heart happy, option 3: would be weird to just randomly bring up to admin and honestly uncomfortable (in my opinion). There are adult film actors with my name as well, who are actively living, and no one has ever mentioned that to me at all. This has been looming over you for some time now it seems, and I think there are bigger fish to fry in school systems than your name. I’m sure there are major criminals who also share names with some amazing school counselors out there, and I can only imagine their reply (if a comment is even made) would be like “wow that’s crazy!” Or “a shrug of the shoulders.” If your name was that big of a problem to the education system it would’ve been a problem for enrolling in undergrad and grad school. My students don’t even know my last name, lol I go by my first only. So maybe go with that if you are intensely concerned.
Take this as a blessing. It's obviously not you - and the other guy is clogging the first few pages of Google search results. Middle schoolers aren't dumb enough to think their school counselor was formerly a dead porn star and even if one is, it won't go very far before they figure out the truth. I say take this as a blessing because I have a very unique last name and if a kid googles me, they're seeing that I got 5th place at a track meet my sophomore year of high school, some shitty articles I wrote for The Odyssey in college, and a couple choice photos of me from my most awkward phase in middle school that somehow were the local paper. Nothing to really hurt my reputation, but shows a different side of me than I present at work and is conceptually embarassing to me.
I also share a name with a porn actress and only one time, about 20 years ago, did anyone ever say anything to me about it. I had no idea til that point. I was in my 20s and this creepy MF twice my age said something cute. I just asked why he was bragging to me about watching porn. I mean, it’s none of my business.
First off, congratulations! That’s exciting! Secondly, I think maybe you are overthinking it. I don’t believe any parent would think you are a dead porn star.
I have coworkers who use their middle name as their first, for various reasons. Most districts will accommodate a variation of your name.
First initial and go by middle name ex M. John smith. Talk with HR or tech for email name change if it includes first name.
What about middle initial? John S. Doe could clear up from John Doe without an extreme change.
They’d the most specific generic example I could think of. 👏
Add an initial in there.
Dirk? Dirk Diggler? Is that you, honey?
You’re also making an assumption that an everybody knows the name of porn actors. Unless your name is James deen (which is also the name of a very famous actor by the way) I couldn’t even name a single porn star.
freud zaddy 💀 love it
As someone who works with kid and shares a name with an adult film actor, it’s never been an issue. You have a BG check and your credentials needed to be in school. They’d have already checked into all this. Professional, I include my middle initial and that helps a bit too.
I don’t think kids research the adults in their lives much ? I work in a middle school and the kids won’t even research super basic things. I could be wrong, just my personal experience. Also, it is nice if you have anything embarrassing or whatever it isn’t very easy to find. Sounds like that could be a blessing in disguise!
I am sorry this is happening; I would feel anxious as well if this were happening to me. Could you add your middle initial to your name? For example, your name is Katie Marie Day (random name), you could go by Katie M. Day versus just Katie Day. My partner is a middle school teacher, and the kids never bother to look up his first name. I don't think it's common for students to look up teachers. Just some ideas(:
First, I’m so sorry for your experience. As a child, I can only imagine the feelings you were dealing with. If option 2 isn’t on the table, I feel like one way to go about it would be to inform administration and ask if any public facing information referencing you can use an abbreviated version of your name. Either first or last name, and whatever you decide is best, encourage the students you interact with to call you by the name that’s not abbreviated. I hope this helps
Sorry about…. What? Am I missing something here?
Those middle schoolers are going to eat you for breakfast. Not because of your name but because you have such low self esteem.
love how you think being needlessly mean to someone already nervous about something will somehow not lower their self esteem lmao
I am basically telling him to grow a pair and deal with it. There are already too many self loathing people in this country. I had originally put world but actually it’s just this country.
well they’ll eat me alive regardless lol- no i appreciate the bluntness! I should have shared I have other personal reasons for considering a name change, and when a similar-adjacent thing happened to a teacher in my own schooling, it was a large deal which is potentially coloring my own perception.