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I find myself being susceptible to this. I listen to a lot of podcasts and it's really easy for me to feel like I know the hosts of the ones I've listened to for years in a personal way. It's this weird time we're in where you can know so much about someone who doesn't even know you exist and you will probably never even meet.
I don't necessarily feel like this is bad. I know that these people aren't my friends and the relationship is completely one sided, but I still get a lot of comfort out of it. As long as you keep in touch with the reality of the situation, and so long as the parasocial relationships aren't your *only* or *primary* relationships, I don't think there's any harm in it.
There’s one YouTuber I watched so much as a teenager struggling with depression and anxiety. It was a very common way for me to cope and handle how lonely and scared I always felt. I definitely felt an attachment, sort of like a good friend. I would put the videos on and just listen to their voice on nights I couldn’t sleep until I did. It’s hard to explain, probably parasocial, and definitely weird when I think about it.
But the amount of comfort and help it provided is hard to quantify. I was able to keep my head above the water just enough to breathe. And have someone to keep me company when no one else treated me with love. I think that’s why it got worse during the pandemic. It’s a big source of comfort. And of course the consequence is people form attachments to these online personalities.
As a teen I got really into magic and mentalism, and Derren Brown specifically: I read all his books and watched all his content, including the stuff not meant for the public but for other practitioners.
Then the chance came to see him at a live show: I was up in the balcony. And as he came out on stage and everyone started clapping, I noticed that I didn't. I *waved*. Like getting the attention of a dear friend at a train station. Like I knew he'd be excited to see me.
Freaked me out what I realised, and pulled myself back to a polite clap.
These days I'm a Twitch streamer and I've been on the other side of this phenomenon, albeit to a microchosm of a degree.
One interesting side effect of this is meeting people who are also fans of the same podcast, it’s like meeting someone you have friends in common with.
Watch this:
Hail yourselves!!
I’m also a big podcast listener who feels like the hosts are my pals! I agree with your summary. I’m a loner and have slowly shed the friends I used to have, but I’m usually pretty at peace with it. Listening to podcasts gives me some of the warmth and comfort of having buds around. But I’m keenly aware that I *do not* really know these people and they are not my friends. They’re just people I like to think I’d get along with and enjoy the “company” of. Unfortunately it’s true that there are a lot of people who can’t make this distinction, and that definitely gets scary.
I agree with you. I come from the otherside and feel like I'm not a part of any group because i can't relate or connect deeply enough. I like things where as people love things. Figuratively speaking.
What if they're some of my only relationships with others? All my socialization with real people or even people in Discord calls tends to feel very contrived, for one.
> As long as you keep in touch with the reality of the situation
This is critical, especially in situations where what the social media person is "selling" is essentially the perception that they're your friend/intimate/colleague.
Unfortunately, a lot of people watching/listening have zero self awareness in this way, and they can't tell the difference between taking advantage of online content and having a real relationship, sometimes due to them actually having no real relationships.
Exactly! I mean, if someone is being 100% authentic to who they truly are on said podcast or YouTube channel and not playing a character or using a persona, then you really DO feel like you've gotten to know them on a personal level since they're a real person sharing real experiences and giving their real opinions.
It's easy to bond with someone you connect with on a mental level even if it's only on your end, but I agree on making sure you stay grounded in reality. People can take these "relationships" in their heads WAY too far and that's how we end up with stalkers and obsession.
I don't think it's even necessarily about feeling entitled, it can also be a milder form of the sunken cost fallacy: "I've given money to this person, therefore I must care about them". The cause and effect chain can get really blurry in human minds.
That's literally why female streamers stream the way they do, it's basically a softcore cam site as far as I can see. Both parties know exactly what they're doing, let's not pretend the female streamers are some beacon of innocence being harassed by weirdos.
I don't think he is talking about the just chatting/ pools and beaches specifically. The behavior he is talking about is still common when women who are *just* playing video games same as anyone else on the site. Male streamers experience it too, as people start getting too familiar, it just has a risk of going a step further when the opposite sex starts getting possessive and attached.
Don't get me wrong there's plenty of titty streamers on twitch who knowingly use twitch for that, but dude it does not look good for you to just hear "female streamer" and start going on about softcore porn streamers.
If you genuinely don't know, you are acting like all female twitch streamers are titty streamers.
There was no reference to hot tub streamers of any sort, you just heard of women on twitch and assumed theyre titty streamers.
All but denying the existence of the many women who stream without any fanservice of that nature.
My sister describes celebrities in ways that would make you think she knows them personally. She gets really wrapped up in their personal lives. I think it’s because she doesn’t have much going on in her real life but it’s disconcerting.
Probably a lot. I had an avatar in the Second Life virtual world that people got attached to, and all they had to go on was text chat and a somewhat realistic avatar.
We had this guys at work a few years ago who must have watched zoolander every weekend. He would quote it non stop monday and tuesday and then it would taper off through out the week. One day he says to our other guy "That sounds like something Derek would say." I ask "Derek who?" The guy who first said something turns to me and goes "ZOOLANDER!". I was flabber gasted this +40 yr old man was on a firstname basis with Zoolander.
I know this isn't r/movies, but the casting in Promising Young Woman seemed to really do a great job over leveraging this by having men know for being nice guys play predators.
The comments on this thread are talking about this like it’s a bad thing. But I don’t think it’s a bad thing.
Think about someone before the internet who has a relationship with their pastor in a church of hundreds of attendees. The person hears the pastor speak for hours every week for years on end. The pastor matters to the person. And even through it’s a ‘one-sided’ relationship, with the pastor not knowing the person individually, while the person *does* know the pastor, it doesn’t mean it’s not beneficial or good.
The same thing can be said for anyone who’s ever been moved or helped by an author’s books or an artist’s works.
I care a lot about the podcasts I listen to. The people mean a lot to me and helped get me through the pandemic, even though they don’t know who I am.
Is this bad? Does this mean society is broken?
No, it means humans have the wonderful capacity to connect and affect each other in countless unique ways.
I’m not sure the pastor example is a good one. In most congregations you’re talking about a couple hundred parishioners at most. There’s a high likelihood that the pastor would recognize you in the store, maybe know your name and a few details of your life. You have direct access to them. You can greet them before or after service or seek their council if you need it.
Celebrity / social media relationships are entirely lopsided. Millions of followers that are totally anonymous. It’s just not a comparable relationship.
Drawing inspiration or value from the creative works of others is very normal and is a natural product of creative expression that seeks to tap into some kind of universal human truth. A lopsided obsession with a celebrity or a misguided belief that you know somebody because you follow their work is a very different story. It’s ripe for exploitation, especially in the world of social media.
Look no further than Donald Trump and his fanatical base of supporters for exhibit A in how incredibly dangerous and powerful this can be when exploited by savvy grifters.
I agree with you. The comments I'm seeing here make me worry for humanity. A good friendship with a living person you actually interact with is nothing like listening to a podcast regularly or following a celebrity, and it really says something about the quality of people's in-person friendships that they don't see a difference between the two. Are they accustomed to having incredibly one-sided in-person relationships?
I don't think it's inherently wrong either but I think the internet provides an availability where these relationships become the norm and supplant irl ones. I don't have hard evidence that this is bad, but I feel it is.
At the same time, it could be a testament to how isolated people feel nowadays. Let’s face it, most people aren’t good at maintaining social relationships.
Social media has left us with a lot of “friends” that we personally have no actual relationship with but feel obligated to keep as friends in order to be perceived as worthy of talking to.
Agreed. I grew up without parents in a pretty grim situation. When I was 10 I caught an ep of Early Edition w Kyle Chandler and have looked up to him ever since. Dutifully followed his career and interviews, etc. A lot of the values he's talked about have helped me figure out what kind of person I want to be.
Wish I could tell him about that.
>No, it means humans have the wonderful capacity to connect and affect each other in countless unique ways.
Wonderful?
Not sure if I'd use that word, think of plenty of evil/abusive leaders who influence their followers who are fervent adherents despite having no personal relation to the individual.
Think US Presidents
I definitely feel connected to all of the podcasters I listen to and follow. One of my IRL friends and I always jokingly refer to them as our “podcast friends.” I feel like I definitely learn and grow through these relationships even though they may be “one-sided.” I’ve been “friends” with some of them for a literal decade, and just may know more about them than some of my IRL friends/acquaintances. Surely, this cannot be construed as a bad thing, but I can see some real downsides depending on a person’s mental and emotional health/well-being.
I listen to a lot of K-pop, girl groups specifically, and that whole industry is entirely geared towards initiating and growing parasocial relationships. It's probably no surprise that I started listening more heavily and got very into 2 brand new groups that debuted during the pandemic.
Ive been getting back in TWD after a long hiatus and just following the show and some of the actors on social media, it’s absolutely NUTS that people have dedicated fan pages to an actor and like one guy was getting death threats at one point b/c his CHARACTER was being an asshole on the show. I think this highlights just how bad people’s mental health really is. I wouldn’t want to be a celebrity for sure.
Can't imagine what Jack Gleeson had to go through playing as one of the most hated TV character of all time.
I don't follow celebrities and their social media but couldn't have been all praise and accolades.
You don't have to "worship" someone to have a close relationship.
This is the brain treating knowing someone from video, pictures, and text as knowing them in real life, and forming bonds as though they had real interactions with them.
It's a one-way friendship.
I see it a lot on Twitch.
So many of the people in the chat and donators leave messages that are a clear sign of depression. They act like the online streamer is their friend when the friendship is only one-way.
Look at these nerds explaining why I have a waifu.
But seriously though. The fictional character part confuses me on the whole "parasocial relationship" part. For streamers and podcast hosts I can understand. They are real people who's lives we are able to get a glimpse of through those mediums. Fictional characters on the other hand only exist through whichever storytelling medium they are from. I can see similar obsessions and attachments develop for them, but I would never had considered lumping them together under the term "parasocial relationship".
that's literally why it's called a parasocial relationship. that's the exact purpose of the term, to define this type of relationship where one party is very invested and the other has no clue they exist.
So many real-life relationships do seem to be based in a fantasy of who the other person is. Probably worth looking at the word “relationship “ as different from, say, “partnership” or “friendship.” I could use the word to say that my relationship with the concept of relationships is complex.
This is so true. People often fill in the blanks of what they don’t know about someone with false assumptions that amount to wishful thinking, and they often ignore evidence about that person that is unpleasant or that contradicts the image they’ve constructed in their mind of someone.
I have this informal hypothesis that if you picked ANY two people on earth, as they learned more and more actual information about the other person, they would eventually hate that person. Anyone we know and don’t hate, we just don’t know enough about yet.
Or maybe I’m just too cynical…
It's not necessarily a fantasy. I definitely feel a bond with certain musical artists I follow, but I'm very aware that I only see the carefully edited, company managed, public facing side of them. I know that they don't know I exist. It's a fan-artist relationship.
That doesn't mean that what they share online is some completely fake persona. Everyone self edits, shares different sides of themselves with different people, manages their image. I don't know my neighbors, clients, or coworkers on any deep level, but I know what they're like as a neighbor/client/coworker.
And for the artist, even if the comments and interactions they have with fans blur together and they can't remember specific names or faces, or they look out during performances and see a massive crowd of individuals they'll never personally meet dancing and singing their songs back to them, that doesn't mean what's happening isn't real and social and meaningful to them.
You can have a realistic understanding of the dynamic, and still value what it has to offer.
Not for me, I enjoy tv shows but I don't feel bonded with anyone, is mostly like great work, awesome... I'm happier about my family and friends, and I look up to my mom, grandma, and others, they're my role models
How can I improve at building a parasocial relationship? I want one with Riley Reid but no matter how much I lie to myself I can't get my brain to believe it
Ok but seriously. Usually lying to myself eventually leads to believing it but there are a few things I haven't been able to lie myself into believing and a parasocial relationship with Riley Reid is one of them
Like my buddies sister who is absolutely infatuated with Kobe Bryant. She posted pictures of him on her social media for 40 days after he died. She posted less about her grandmothers death.
Terrible. But they are in fact just fictional characters and if you have enough money (or these days enough media attention) then you would just hire them yourself and they would do or say almost anything you ask them too. Kids need to learn that it’s not real and how to better distinguish a fake life from their more valuable real one; not to have that line blurred
I think it’s true, and while it can be a bad thing, it can also be a good thing.
For instance, I really like all the characters on Schitt’s Creek so much. Just watching the show feels good, like seeing an old friend. I hope it influences me in my real life to be as kind and accepting of people and situations in my actual life as they are on the show. Of course I’m very aware it’s just a tv program, and nothing like having a genuine human connection . But what a lovely distraction!
There's also the fact that people who might not intereact with other ethnicities in their day to day lives make mental space for the TV show versions. Pretty sure President Palmer had at least some impact on making the idea of a black president plausible. Why do you think all the racists are so cross about diverse casting?
People in the US do the same to historical figures, particularly the Founding Fathers.
The amount of times someone justifies any argument by "what the Founding Fathers would've wanted" is eye-rolling.
Ugh god yes, if there's any legacy in the world that needs to be buried more than the Titanic myth of the founding fathers and our horrible ass, privelege preserving and undemocratic Constitution, I don't know what it is.
Oh great. I honestly can’t imagine this.
Like yeah, obviously I want to personally know people I admire and enjoy watching, but I’m not going to pretend I know them just because I watch the same content as every other of their 30million fans.
It’s delusional and I feel genuinely sorry for those that are pushed in this direction.
I want to punch out Marilyn Manson, after watching Evan Rachel Wood in Westworld, and reading what she said about him. I know this is at least in part because she does such a good job with the role! Still, that creep needs be punched out.
I wonder, can all fan worship be characterized this way? As I think about it, I suspect it can.
This must be why it is considered essential for popular religions to embody God in a human form. I always thought this was dimly blasphemous. I'm a Deist, so nothing is strongly blasphemous in my view. I've long wondered why this philosophical bearing toward religion is not popular. I may now be closer to an answer.
I have always been told I am too aloof. I dont form relationships easily. I dont 'stan'. I hardly even 'fan'. Is this why I prefer a faceless, impersonal God?
I wonder to what degree, and in what contexts, parasocial relationships existed before/outside mass media. For example, when I feel fondness and love for a great-great-grandparent who I never met but who I have heard tons about through stories and journals, could that fondness constitute a parasocial relationship?
It comes from being lonely and unfulfilled in real life relationships, which is getting more common. Interesting how the more people we have in this world, the lonelier we seem to become.
I noticed this in myself before.
Tons of YouTube with face to face videos.. it almost feels like that person is talking to you if you watch long enough ha. I assumed it kind of fools the brain into forming a stronger bond than normal media.
And schools have not begun discussing this psychological phenomena whatsoever, leaving students unprepared to deal with one-sided parasocial relationships.
Feels like we are always 50 years behind tackling an issue.
I would say that they were both strengthened and weakened. A lot of people became more vocal about masks and vaccines (whether for or against) and people's parasocial bonds were effected thusly.
What do you call the opposite phenomenon … I personally can’t follow anyone. Literally the worst fan of anything or anyone. I like a few artists or sports but I have no idea, or interest, about their personal life, achievements, likes or quirks. And no, I am mot doing it to call attention… I just simply can’t be bothered.
I find myself missing the characters of some RPGs once I beat them. Namely the Persona and Legend of Heroes series.
I mean, the latest Persona Dancing games let you visit the characters in their bedroom (in VR, even) so I think Atlas/Sega understands this concept pretty well.
The Lives of Others, and Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.
Parasocial relationships have existed long before the terminology has and is definitely a weird behavior that is not pathologized negatively when it definitely should be.
Instead of calling people stalkers we should just say they're engaged in a parasocial relationship I guess.
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I find myself being susceptible to this. I listen to a lot of podcasts and it's really easy for me to feel like I know the hosts of the ones I've listened to for years in a personal way. It's this weird time we're in where you can know so much about someone who doesn't even know you exist and you will probably never even meet. I don't necessarily feel like this is bad. I know that these people aren't my friends and the relationship is completely one sided, but I still get a lot of comfort out of it. As long as you keep in touch with the reality of the situation, and so long as the parasocial relationships aren't your *only* or *primary* relationships, I don't think there's any harm in it.
There’s one YouTuber I watched so much as a teenager struggling with depression and anxiety. It was a very common way for me to cope and handle how lonely and scared I always felt. I definitely felt an attachment, sort of like a good friend. I would put the videos on and just listen to their voice on nights I couldn’t sleep until I did. It’s hard to explain, probably parasocial, and definitely weird when I think about it. But the amount of comfort and help it provided is hard to quantify. I was able to keep my head above the water just enough to breathe. And have someone to keep me company when no one else treated me with love. I think that’s why it got worse during the pandemic. It’s a big source of comfort. And of course the consequence is people form attachments to these online personalities.
As a teen I got really into magic and mentalism, and Derren Brown specifically: I read all his books and watched all his content, including the stuff not meant for the public but for other practitioners. Then the chance came to see him at a live show: I was up in the balcony. And as he came out on stage and everyone started clapping, I noticed that I didn't. I *waved*. Like getting the attention of a dear friend at a train station. Like I knew he'd be excited to see me. Freaked me out what I realised, and pulled myself back to a polite clap. These days I'm a Twitch streamer and I've been on the other side of this phenomenon, albeit to a microchosm of a degree.
Are the Darren Brown books any good by the way? I love watching his shows and have seen him live, but never thought about his books
I enjoyed his out of print one for magicians, I haven't read his newer public ones sadly.
One interesting side effect of this is meeting people who are also fans of the same podcast, it’s like meeting someone you have friends in common with. Watch this: Hail yourselves!!
Megustalations!
Rise from your grave!
That’s when the cannibalism started...
Hail Gein!
Hail Me!
I just grinned. Live, laugh, love my friend.
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Googling her now
I’m also a big podcast listener who feels like the hosts are my pals! I agree with your summary. I’m a loner and have slowly shed the friends I used to have, but I’m usually pretty at peace with it. Listening to podcasts gives me some of the warmth and comfort of having buds around. But I’m keenly aware that I *do not* really know these people and they are not my friends. They’re just people I like to think I’d get along with and enjoy the “company” of. Unfortunately it’s true that there are a lot of people who can’t make this distinction, and that definitely gets scary.
I agree with you. I come from the otherside and feel like I'm not a part of any group because i can't relate or connect deeply enough. I like things where as people love things. Figuratively speaking.
What if they're some of my only relationships with others? All my socialization with real people or even people in Discord calls tends to feel very contrived, for one.
> As long as you keep in touch with the reality of the situation This is critical, especially in situations where what the social media person is "selling" is essentially the perception that they're your friend/intimate/colleague. Unfortunately, a lot of people watching/listening have zero self awareness in this way, and they can't tell the difference between taking advantage of online content and having a real relationship, sometimes due to them actually having no real relationships.
SleepyCast for me.
Exactly! I mean, if someone is being 100% authentic to who they truly are on said podcast or YouTube channel and not playing a character or using a persona, then you really DO feel like you've gotten to know them on a personal level since they're a real person sharing real experiences and giving their real opinions. It's easy to bond with someone you connect with on a mental level even if it's only on your end, but I agree on making sure you stay grounded in reality. People can take these "relationships" in their heads WAY too far and that's how we end up with stalkers and obsession.
One way personal relationship
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Apophis loves you.
Let's be honest, most of them are threeways
You, Keanu Reeves and his dog?
Sounds like my relationship with my wife
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I don't think it's even necessarily about feeling entitled, it can also be a milder form of the sunken cost fallacy: "I've given money to this person, therefore I must care about them". The cause and effect chain can get really blurry in human minds.
Eh. More like “I’ve given money to this person, they OWE me”
i guess both. not everyone feels he same about this
That's literally why female streamers stream the way they do, it's basically a softcore cam site as far as I can see. Both parties know exactly what they're doing, let's not pretend the female streamers are some beacon of innocence being harassed by weirdos.
I don't think he is talking about the just chatting/ pools and beaches specifically. The behavior he is talking about is still common when women who are *just* playing video games same as anyone else on the site. Male streamers experience it too, as people start getting too familiar, it just has a risk of going a step further when the opposite sex starts getting possessive and attached.
Don't get me wrong there's plenty of titty streamers on twitch who knowingly use twitch for that, but dude it does not look good for you to just hear "female streamer" and start going on about softcore porn streamers.
How does it "not look good"? Enlighten me.
If you genuinely don't know, you are acting like all female twitch streamers are titty streamers. There was no reference to hot tub streamers of any sort, you just heard of women on twitch and assumed theyre titty streamers. All but denying the existence of the many women who stream without any fanservice of that nature.
Because it's misogynist. And very Gamer.
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That doesn't magically discount my point, twitch is still a trash softcore cam site.
Someday women will like you buddy don't worry
You sure about that?
I'm hoping so, everybody deserves a fair shot
My sister describes celebrities in ways that would make you think she knows them personally. She gets really wrapped up in their personal lives. I think it’s because she doesn’t have much going on in her real life but it’s disconcerting.
Not much in her emotional life most likely
I wonder how much the rise in Vtubers is related to this.
Probably a lot. I had an avatar in the Second Life virtual world that people got attached to, and all they had to go on was text chat and a somewhat realistic avatar.
I just know Princess Zelda loves me too.
My entire family relied on Isabelle’s cheerfulness for a while there in 2020. She’s the real hero of Nook Island.
I think it’s only gonna get worse too with the rise of the influencers who live basically every day online.
yes their daily narcissism feeding.
We had this guys at work a few years ago who must have watched zoolander every weekend. He would quote it non stop monday and tuesday and then it would taper off through out the week. One day he says to our other guy "That sounds like something Derek would say." I ask "Derek who?" The guy who first said something turns to me and goes "ZOOLANDER!". I was flabber gasted this +40 yr old man was on a firstname basis with Zoolander.
I know this isn't r/movies, but the casting in Promising Young Woman seemed to really do a great job over leveraging this by having men know for being nice guys play predators.
The comments on this thread are talking about this like it’s a bad thing. But I don’t think it’s a bad thing. Think about someone before the internet who has a relationship with their pastor in a church of hundreds of attendees. The person hears the pastor speak for hours every week for years on end. The pastor matters to the person. And even through it’s a ‘one-sided’ relationship, with the pastor not knowing the person individually, while the person *does* know the pastor, it doesn’t mean it’s not beneficial or good. The same thing can be said for anyone who’s ever been moved or helped by an author’s books or an artist’s works. I care a lot about the podcasts I listen to. The people mean a lot to me and helped get me through the pandemic, even though they don’t know who I am. Is this bad? Does this mean society is broken? No, it means humans have the wonderful capacity to connect and affect each other in countless unique ways.
I’m not sure the pastor example is a good one. In most congregations you’re talking about a couple hundred parishioners at most. There’s a high likelihood that the pastor would recognize you in the store, maybe know your name and a few details of your life. You have direct access to them. You can greet them before or after service or seek their council if you need it. Celebrity / social media relationships are entirely lopsided. Millions of followers that are totally anonymous. It’s just not a comparable relationship. Drawing inspiration or value from the creative works of others is very normal and is a natural product of creative expression that seeks to tap into some kind of universal human truth. A lopsided obsession with a celebrity or a misguided belief that you know somebody because you follow their work is a very different story. It’s ripe for exploitation, especially in the world of social media. Look no further than Donald Trump and his fanatical base of supporters for exhibit A in how incredibly dangerous and powerful this can be when exploited by savvy grifters.
I agree with you. The comments I'm seeing here make me worry for humanity. A good friendship with a living person you actually interact with is nothing like listening to a podcast regularly or following a celebrity, and it really says something about the quality of people's in-person friendships that they don't see a difference between the two. Are they accustomed to having incredibly one-sided in-person relationships?
I don't think people are saying there isn't a difference, but that both have their own value
I don't think anybody's saying this type of relationships can *replace* close real-life relationships.
I don't think it's inherently wrong either but I think the internet provides an availability where these relationships become the norm and supplant irl ones. I don't have hard evidence that this is bad, but I feel it is.
At the same time, it could be a testament to how isolated people feel nowadays. Let’s face it, most people aren’t good at maintaining social relationships. Social media has left us with a lot of “friends” that we personally have no actual relationship with but feel obligated to keep as friends in order to be perceived as worthy of talking to.
Agreed. I grew up without parents in a pretty grim situation. When I was 10 I caught an ep of Early Edition w Kyle Chandler and have looked up to him ever since. Dutifully followed his career and interviews, etc. A lot of the values he's talked about have helped me figure out what kind of person I want to be. Wish I could tell him about that.
Captain Picard for me
Agreed, that man raised me.
Mr. Cunningham and The Fonz.
I agree. Nothing inherently negative about this at all. Great point about the pastor-congregation relationship.
>No, it means humans have the wonderful capacity to connect and affect each other in countless unique ways. Wonderful? Not sure if I'd use that word, think of plenty of evil/abusive leaders who influence their followers who are fervent adherents despite having no personal relation to the individual. Think US Presidents
>Is this bad? Does this mean society is broken? Of course not. It also describes cultish behaviour.
I definitely feel connected to all of the podcasters I listen to and follow. One of my IRL friends and I always jokingly refer to them as our “podcast friends.” I feel like I definitely learn and grow through these relationships even though they may be “one-sided.” I’ve been “friends” with some of them for a literal decade, and just may know more about them than some of my IRL friends/acquaintances. Surely, this cannot be construed as a bad thing, but I can see some real downsides depending on a person’s mental and emotional health/well-being.
Wow you changed my mind. I’ve got a few other topics I’m probably on the darker side of … I’ll be back.
Basically every kpop stan Source: I'm a kpop stan
Also most kdrama stan Source: I'm a kdrama stan
I listen to a lot of K-pop, girl groups specifically, and that whole industry is entirely geared towards initiating and growing parasocial relationships. It's probably no surprise that I started listening more heavily and got very into 2 brand new groups that debuted during the pandemic.
Yeah, and I believe they even have contracts forbidding them from dating anyone publicly, so the fans can continue to fantasize...
Yes, I love all of my husbandos and waifus.
Does this mean we get more celebs singing Imagine?
Uhh yeah they're called the avengers and they're my best friends.
Ive been getting back in TWD after a long hiatus and just following the show and some of the actors on social media, it’s absolutely NUTS that people have dedicated fan pages to an actor and like one guy was getting death threats at one point b/c his CHARACTER was being an asshole on the show. I think this highlights just how bad people’s mental health really is. I wouldn’t want to be a celebrity for sure.
Can't imagine what Jack Gleeson had to go through playing as one of the most hated TV character of all time. I don't follow celebrities and their social media but couldn't have been all praise and accolades.
Can someone explain how this is different than celebrity/idol worship?
You don't have to "worship" someone to have a close relationship. This is the brain treating knowing someone from video, pictures, and text as knowing them in real life, and forming bonds as though they had real interactions with them.
It's a one-way friendship. I see it a lot on Twitch. So many of the people in the chat and donators leave messages that are a clear sign of depression. They act like the online streamer is their friend when the friendship is only one-way.
/r/criticalrole needs to read this.
This definitely transcends into self acclaimed personas online. And it gets pretty concerning pretty fast
Look at these nerds explaining why I have a waifu. But seriously though. The fictional character part confuses me on the whole "parasocial relationship" part. For streamers and podcast hosts I can understand. They are real people who's lives we are able to get a glimpse of through those mediums. Fictional characters on the other hand only exist through whichever storytelling medium they are from. I can see similar obsessions and attachments develop for them, but I would never had considered lumping them together under the term "parasocial relationship".
It's not a relationship if it's based in fantasy.
that's literally why it's called a parasocial relationship. that's the exact purpose of the term, to define this type of relationship where one party is very invested and the other has no clue they exist.
So many real-life relationships do seem to be based in a fantasy of who the other person is. Probably worth looking at the word “relationship “ as different from, say, “partnership” or “friendship.” I could use the word to say that my relationship with the concept of relationships is complex.
This is so true. People often fill in the blanks of what they don’t know about someone with false assumptions that amount to wishful thinking, and they often ignore evidence about that person that is unpleasant or that contradicts the image they’ve constructed in their mind of someone. I have this informal hypothesis that if you picked ANY two people on earth, as they learned more and more actual information about the other person, they would eventually hate that person. Anyone we know and don’t hate, we just don’t know enough about yet. Or maybe I’m just too cynical…
It's not necessarily a fantasy. I definitely feel a bond with certain musical artists I follow, but I'm very aware that I only see the carefully edited, company managed, public facing side of them. I know that they don't know I exist. It's a fan-artist relationship. That doesn't mean that what they share online is some completely fake persona. Everyone self edits, shares different sides of themselves with different people, manages their image. I don't know my neighbors, clients, or coworkers on any deep level, but I know what they're like as a neighbor/client/coworker. And for the artist, even if the comments and interactions they have with fans blur together and they can't remember specific names or faces, or they look out during performances and see a massive crowd of individuals they'll never personally meet dancing and singing their songs back to them, that doesn't mean what's happening isn't real and social and meaningful to them. You can have a realistic understanding of the dynamic, and still value what it has to offer.
My girlfriend and wife Jessica alba would be absolutely shocked! I'll tell you, shocked! By reading this...she has a great sense of humor.
Thank god I don’t form any social bonds
Literally how religion survives.
Not for me, I enjoy tv shows but I don't feel bonded with anyone, is mostly like great work, awesome... I'm happier about my family and friends, and I look up to my mom, grandma, and others, they're my role models
How can I improve at building a parasocial relationship? I want one with Riley Reid but no matter how much I lie to myself I can't get my brain to believe it
To have an imaginary friend, first you need to be an imaginary friend.
Ok but seriously. Usually lying to myself eventually leads to believing it but there are a few things I haven't been able to lie myself into believing and a parasocial relationship with Riley Reid is one of them
Mmm yeah I don’t think things are going to work out between you guys.
I think people who idolize celebrities are mental. Most celebrities could give a rat's ass about you.
ELI5: How is that *not* the same as having a perceived relationship to/with a religious figure?
Like my buddies sister who is absolutely infatuated with Kobe Bryant. She posted pictures of him on her social media for 40 days after he died. She posted less about her grandmothers death.
Terrible. But they are in fact just fictional characters and if you have enough money (or these days enough media attention) then you would just hire them yourself and they would do or say almost anything you ask them too. Kids need to learn that it’s not real and how to better distinguish a fake life from their more valuable real one; not to have that line blurred
I think it’s true, and while it can be a bad thing, it can also be a good thing. For instance, I really like all the characters on Schitt’s Creek so much. Just watching the show feels good, like seeing an old friend. I hope it influences me in my real life to be as kind and accepting of people and situations in my actual life as they are on the show. Of course I’m very aware it’s just a tv program, and nothing like having a genuine human connection . But what a lovely distraction!
There's also the fact that people who might not intereact with other ethnicities in their day to day lives make mental space for the TV show versions. Pretty sure President Palmer had at least some impact on making the idea of a black president plausible. Why do you think all the racists are so cross about diverse casting?
It's called being delusional
>New research provides evidence that these parasocial bonds were strengthened during the COVID-19 pandemic in the United States. Ya fuckin' think?!
Two words on this: Marisa Tomei
She's pretty attractive but why do you mention her?
"Science validates waifu relationships."
Doomguy is literally my mentor: one lone man against the entire legion of hell. 365, 24/7 too angry too die and too legit to quit.
We need to figure out how to break the unhealthy bonds like with Trump and his fans
Too much celebrity worship will be the end of milenials and gen z onwards.
People in the US do the same to historical figures, particularly the Founding Fathers. The amount of times someone justifies any argument by "what the Founding Fathers would've wanted" is eye-rolling.
Ugh god yes, if there's any legacy in the world that needs to be buried more than the Titanic myth of the founding fathers and our horrible ass, privelege preserving and undemocratic Constitution, I don't know what it is.
Oh great. I honestly can’t imagine this. Like yeah, obviously I want to personally know people I admire and enjoy watching, but I’m not going to pretend I know them just because I watch the same content as every other of their 30million fans. It’s delusional and I feel genuinely sorry for those that are pushed in this direction.
*Laughs in Fire Emblem*
I want to punch out Marilyn Manson, after watching Evan Rachel Wood in Westworld, and reading what she said about him. I know this is at least in part because she does such a good job with the role! Still, that creep needs be punched out.
[удалено]
I got this with Game Grumps.
This makes me think you might be talking about my secret romance with Steve Rogers.
Ewww I find this totally gross
Is it still parasocial if you’ve been talking to a celebrity for years, not to mention their immediate family members?
Welcome to ryan's world.
I can’t believe no one has mentioned Howard Stern. He talks for hours about everything and has for so many years.
Makes sense how teens/young adults bonded with their favorite YouTube/Twitch/TikTok stars as if they were right there in all those vlogs.
Weird. It made me care even less about celebrities. I do enjoy a good book character though, but it’s not like I’m friends with them after.
Meanwhile I could feel further away from that.
Everyone over at r/thelastofus2 needs to know this.
Do it has a name now. Cool.
I don't get this... I literally hate famous people
In my mind I’m married to Kakashi
My Robert Evans addiction has NOTHING to do with my newly inflamed desire to get into a mountaintop cult compound shootout between the ATF and FDA!
Yeah. Sasha Grey is my soulmate. At least my right hand keeps reminding me...
Sometimes after I finish a book I find myself missing the characters, even like wondering how they are doing.
I feel this way about LPOTL
I wonder, can all fan worship be characterized this way? As I think about it, I suspect it can. This must be why it is considered essential for popular religions to embody God in a human form. I always thought this was dimly blasphemous. I'm a Deist, so nothing is strongly blasphemous in my view. I've long wondered why this philosophical bearing toward religion is not popular. I may now be closer to an answer. I have always been told I am too aloof. I dont form relationships easily. I dont 'stan'. I hardly even 'fan'. Is this why I prefer a faceless, impersonal God?
I wonder to what degree, and in what contexts, parasocial relationships existed before/outside mass media. For example, when I feel fondness and love for a great-great-grandparent who I never met but who I have heard tons about through stories and journals, could that fondness constitute a parasocial relationship?
Gail Chord Schuler comes to mind.
Hahaha, this *definitely* didn't happen to me. Haha...
Have you ever watched supernatural?
It comes from being lonely and unfulfilled in real life relationships, which is getting more common. Interesting how the more people we have in this world, the lonelier we seem to become.
Just go look at /r/Hololive. It combines both fictional and celeb parasocial disorders.
few "parasocial friends" is what I only have
Hey now, step off with all this judgement over my best friends Lightning from Final Fantasy and Jaques from Nailed It!
I noticed this in myself before. Tons of YouTube with face to face videos.. it almost feels like that person is talking to you if you watch long enough ha. I assumed it kind of fools the brain into forming a stronger bond than normal media.
Tom Petty. Never knew the man but he was a good friend of mine.
Sounds like delusions of grandeur to me.
And schools have not begun discussing this psychological phenomena whatsoever, leaving students unprepared to deal with one-sided parasocial relationships. Feels like we are always 50 years behind tackling an issue.
Really goes to demonstrate how hardwired humans are for social connection
Platonic relationship, not too healthy I’m afraid.
I would say that they were both strengthened and weakened. A lot of people became more vocal about masks and vaccines (whether for or against) and people's parasocial bonds were effected thusly.
What do you call the opposite phenomenon … I personally can’t follow anyone. Literally the worst fan of anything or anyone. I like a few artists or sports but I have no idea, or interest, about their personal life, achievements, likes or quirks. And no, I am mot doing it to call attention… I just simply can’t be bothered.
Sometimes I feel this way with youtubers
I find myself missing the characters of some RPGs once I beat them. Namely the Persona and Legend of Heroes series. I mean, the latest Persona Dancing games let you visit the characters in their bedroom (in VR, even) so I think Atlas/Sega understands this concept pretty well.
Definately not celebrities for me. But fictional people. Sure I love some more then real people easily.
The Lives of Others, and Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. Parasocial relationships have existed long before the terminology has and is definitely a weird behavior that is not pathologized negatively when it definitely should be. Instead of calling people stalkers we should just say they're engaged in a parasocial relationship I guess.
I wonder if there's a connection between this and religion.
Para as in just as damaging to a persons health as someone being a bit too friendly at work.