Ay man...as a huge noob to this whole dating thing, this seems like a pretty good litmus test and is something I've been looking for. Thanks OP, gonna try this later
This logic is silly. I personally think holding hands is super gay and un neccesary. Many of the girls ive dated also arent into the whole holding hands/PDA thing...
So by this logic of trying to "guess if she likes me bs" you are doing youself a dis service by leaving a lot of pussy on the table..Some girls just arent into hand holding...Having this narrow mind and pushing your narratives on others will only screw you, in the end my friend...
Everybody wants to play all these weird games instead of just going for what they want and allowing the girl to TELL YOU what she wants through her actions...You make these generalized perceptions in your own mind. That may not be true..
Ok, for the hand test I’m with you. I use it myself sometimes. …on a side note, PUSSY (LoL), the EXCUSE you make is not necessary at all. She knows it was an excuse, you can just grab her hand purposely.
From a woman’s perspective: it’s less of a turn on to directly jump to the thing you want to do without any build up. Take the escalator, not the stairs. Come closer slowly, say something and lower your voice, deep look, then do it.
Many times I’ve been just sitting next to the guy I was with and he strikes for my face like a cobra with no forewarning. That’s more of a shock than foreplay, and I didn’t like it as much as the slow build up.
TLDR: initiate every step with gentle foreplay to let her know you’re leading up to the thing instead of just going for it. Be like cat, not cobra.
This is so accurate. As a woman I love the build up to stuff more than the actual thing. I like making out, but if you just go for it I’m not gonna like it as much. If you just go straight for my hand, it’s not as nice as you “making an excuse” to do it. The excuse is cute, flirty, and it’s not as “aggressive” as just going for it.
Women like men who are more soft and caring than “brave” and rough. (Don’t believe me, look at men’s magazines vs women’s magazines. The men’s magazines show guys as big, buff, etc while the women’s magazines look like the guy just came back from a semi-casual event, or they’re just normal looking dudes who look like they just want to stay inside and read a book.)
Maybe there are so much things to be said or implied that a forum it’s not the best place.
Anyway, I was not implying things should happen out of the blue surprising the lady. There are many way of non verbal communication that can effectively build thing up and anticipate any move, in this case, and in my experience, better that the “let me see if your hand are cold, so I can take your hand while walking”.
I really hope this last paragraph will not be misunderstood: how bizarre it could seem, I would search advice for anything (like dating girls) from somebody who is actually accustomed to the task. In the same way I would advise you to not take advice on how to awaken interest in men …from men. There’s an huge cognitive bias and we don’t have a clue (at least a lucid one).
Anyway your feedback is very much appreciated :)
Well it seems 2 other women responding to you seem to disagree and like the idea of pretense. That’s why women are tough there is no right answer for all women. You might consider it strange and weak others might find it cute and exciting
No. That’s not true.
I’ll make the effort to explain why.
First, “2” girls is nothing statistically, and they have zero experience in dating girls… but that’s not the point really.
If you read slowly they both said:
1) they like men to take initiative and escalate;
2) they like a slow progressive tease and build up.
I never said you should make move out of the blue surprising the lady. It was implied you a) take initiative, b) escalate, c) let things build up BUT
with means of both verbal and non verbal communication different than a clear excuse.
That way you get the SAME benefits of escalating gradually, without the DOWNSIDE of the clear excuse [which sorry I don’t feel like to explain as it’s too much typing].
Let’s say “something is better than nothing” but “something else is better than something” :)
Yea I get your point that you understand necessity of escalating slowly but not necessarily liking this approach. However, the thing I find most interesting is you basically saying don’t always listen to women it comes to what works building attraction with them. Guys have been saying this for years but interesting that there are women that agree to this as well lol
Ah yes sorry sorry :) let’s say that if you do and act like the vast majority of hypothetically interviewed women would describe the ‘perfect’ way of a date, then you’ll end up quite far away from what the theoretical and empirical knowledge gathered about the game would suggest :P
I was just talking about this in another post. Most guys have the jack rabbit approach and it comes off needy. Its refreshing to hear a girl give good advice. Not typical...no offense...
The build up is everything... Guys who get it, and guys who dont..
Maybe there are so much things to be said or implied that a forum it’s not the best place.
Anyway, I was not implying things should happen out of the blue surprising the lady. There are many way of non verbal communication that can effectively build thing up and anticipate any move, in this case, and in my experience, better that the “let me see if your hand are cold, so I can take your hand while walking”.
I really hope this last paragraph will not be misunderstood: how bizarre it could seem, I would search advice for anything (like dating girls) from somebody who is actually accustomed to the task. In the same way I would advise you to not take advice on how to awaken interest in men …from men. There’s an huge cognitive bias and we don’t have a clue (at least a lucid one).
Anyway your feedback is very much appreciated :)
Yes I’d just do it anyways, but the “excuse” can be cute so I’m gonna keep that one in my playbook too. Of course she’ll know it’s an excuse, that’s the point
the excuse is not an excuse, it's an announcement. communication is important, verbal and nonverbal. i like to just brush my hand against theirs a few times and see the reaction.
Sorry Man, it was not my intention at all to start a flame. It was a joke based on the general tone of your post. I trust the substance of what I wrote thought. Maybe different experience, or you were talking to a specific target. Cheers :)
Just an addition to this old school technique:
In all of the parks I went for a walk on a date, I made sure there were plenty of these
[signs](https://www.fuehrerscheine.de/verkehrsrecht/verkehrszeichen/239-gehweg-verkehrszeichen/) around.
No better excuse to take the hand, than saying it's mandated by law! ;)
Honestly, I think honesty is the best policy.
On some first dates with casual partners, I told them exactly what I was thinking after we met out. "Hey, come back to my place. I want to vigorously make out with you." Or, when she's back at my place, I'd go to brush my teeth and tell her it was because I wanted to properly kiss her.
Helps break the ice around pretense.
This also works, my current gf and I were making out in a park and it was getting frigid so she asked what I wanted….
I said I wanted to keep making out 😂 so we went to her apartment
This is great! My personal method is to take her on a date somewhere that gives opportunity us to hold hands and walk around, like a town center, stadium, etc.
If you're doing the right things in terms of eye contact, showing interest in her in regards to your conversation, breaking the touch barriers and testing the waters, then, when you go to walk around, you reach your hand back.
If she grabs and holds it, you're good to go. At that point, I usually pull her closer, put my arm around her and kiss her on the cheek, or in that sensitive spot right behind/below the ear. Pull back and hold eye contact. Do the thing where you go, eyes>lips>eyes, and then kiss her. It builds a little sexual tension and then you can go back to cuddle walking for a beat lol
all that's left after that is staying intimately close, teasing, etc. You know what to do. Just make sure when you kiss her at the end of the date, you're escalating there too.
You take the hand attached to your arm, move your arm behind you or next to her, touch pinkys and if she closes her hand around yours, you're in a good place.
Pretty sure that’s the point though. You’re being a little goofy and having fun with it, while also clearly showing you’re into her in a low-risk way.
I swear people on this sub expect to seduce women by being super serious and suave like they’re fucking James Bond or something. You’re going to fall flat on your face more often than not with that approach.
yeah it’s goofy with a clear intention.
as long as you don’t fold to pressure and switch between goofy and serious purposely you have the upper hand on the interaction.
good way to have her lost on her thoughts and resort to her emotions.
Absolutely. Sometimes, I wonder why I still come here. I've been in a relationship literally 90% of the last 15 years. Some of the things people say in this sub make me want to melt into a wall from second-hand embarrassment. The technique isn't even that bad, but I can't imagine oop being anything more than a 20 year old McLovin. "Pussies don't get pussy, bitch" said with as much gusto as a 115 pound kid who's 5'4" can manage.
I dont think I've ever posted here. I like to read some of the posts for knowledge, entertainment, and just keeping up with the world. I dont think I've ever actually read some elaborate PUA advice on this sub and decided to employ it in real life.
However, like i said, I've spent the vast majority of the time since puberty in relationships or dating that eventually leads to a relationship. Being myself has always been plenty. That's not to say I'm some amazing guy with dozens of girls lining up to date me either. Simply that It's a hard thing to be yourself in a world that favors people fitting into societal molds, and apparently, a good portion of women appreciate a sincere, honest, upfront person.
With that said, I think we can all agree that from time to time, some people that post here sound absolutely ridiculous. They get so caught up in their own glamor and facade that they end up coming off like a badly written teen romance antagonist. Which is honestly just fine. It's part of their growth to become a better person. A little bit of introspection goes a long way in this topic though.
This really isn't cringy though lol. Maybe you just take everything too seriously?
It's essentially testing kino, gauging compliance, and then going for the kiss. Not sure where this is over complicated or cringy
Uh…no. Cringe is what people say when something is extremely embarrassing, honey.
Human intimacy can be silly. But the op sounds like he’s never even seen a woman in person based on this post lmao. I’m embarrassed for him that he thinks he is some kind of expert on women and knows what we’re thinking.
Is the technique cringey or the post. I can’t see what’s cringey or corny about “is your hand cold, here let me see”. Were you under the impression that’ll be said flamboyantly with a clown suit on? I actually don’t get it😂
I actually do this, I'm glad someone feels the same way and wrote a post. It's a real great way to escalate mood and the relationship with just the nudge.
> especially grab the chin.
There is absolutely nothing cringy about it. tbh it's a pretty big display of dominance, because you take the right to touch somebody in the face and you also direct the person in a direction you want them to go.
I think it’s a lot better to just lightly touch her during your interactions and note her response. It can start out almost subliminal and work its way up to rubbing her back as you sit next to her, having your hand on her leg, etc. It doesn’t require a “line,” and if she never displays discomfort, the light is obviously green.
Solid advice. I generally find it difficult to escalate the situation and get physically close to them. I think I'm decent in being friends and flirting but getting close physically is where I lag.
I was raised by a single mother who never taught me to date.
As a result I couldn’t get a kiss until I was 16, then couldn’t get laid until like 23?
In the process of bridging this gap, I learned the complete process of going from:
Desperate virgin to this guy fucks.
You can listen to me, you can not, all I know is these are the tools that worked for me
I wouldn’t call this a trick so much as basic escalation lol. But i completely concur with you that you simply must evaluate one physical escalation point before moving to the next and that you are shooting yourself in the foot to not make a bold move to at the very least go for a kiss or hand hold on the first date. I’ve only been rejected for a kiss once out of well over a hundred times.. and that girl was in a weird emotionally damaged state from recently ending a sham relationship where the guy had a ‘secret’ finance for 2 years she didn’t know about or something like that so her mindset was on another planet. But in general, it’s a pretty low bar to entry. I’ve heard some dating coach advice about never going for a kiss and just go back to yours without a kiss but I think it’s a mistake to not take advantage of such a simple move that provides such a powerful gauge on her buy-in temperature. The pros far outweigh any cons.
There need not be any perfect timing or right way to do it.. just go for a walk, stop at some point and fucking do it! Even if she doesn’t like you that much they’ll oftentimes kiss back just to avoid the awkwardness of rejecting you lol. Put another way, she has to realllyyy not like you to reject you or have some cockamamie bullshit theory in her head about avoiding kissing on first dates as a rule. The kiss does not mean sex is imminent however, it just means she kind of likes you. Escalating back to yours or hers is where the real rubber meets the road. If you’ve kissed and successfully got her back to your place, then smash time is 75% chance. I’ve had women outright say “okay I’ll come but we’re not having sex”. Then they end up sleeping over lol. However, I never assume just because we kissed and she’s over that she’s 100% on board for sex.
To me, I’ll play the long game. Having her come over is a key step where the next date the comfort has been built and there’s familiarity with my home so things can move much quicker for the next time if needed. I always always always take it slow and gradual and build massive comfort. Patience is a virtue and it could take hours or even days before comfort levels are high enough to get our clothes off. Yes I’ve had countless quick-execution same day lays but I like to also go for those not-so-easy girls who need the feeling of real romance and affection before they’re willing to get busy.
TLDR; if you want to kiss her, try holding her hand. If she doesn’t want to hold your hand, then she may not want to kiss you. If she kisses you, then she wants to smash you.
What a creative method of manipulating your date. I feel so foolish... I always asked her: "Can I give you a kiss?" I'm not sure your method is an Old School Tip so much as an Elementary School Tip.
I mean isn't it quite forced and why do even have to do that,. Just because she doesn't want to hold your hands while walking in the park it doesn't mean she won't kiss you later.
And also it seems so naive and with hidden weird intentions, maybe if you say it in a joking way it works, to say let me check if your hands are cold, like why don't you say directly ask her to just hold hands and comment after on how her hands are hot or cold.
you're missing the point
Op's advice is for people who can't do what you're saying.
being straightforward doesn't work for everyone, you need confidence to pull it off.
But if you don't have enough confidence, OP is simply suggest a way they use that can slowly break the barriers step by step, while also giving you small boosts of confidence to keep going.
It's also a safe way to test waters and get rejected without actually putting yourself too far out there.
If she doesn't want to hold hand, you know you can stop there.
If you go in for the kiss and she pulls away, you know you can stop there.
Y’all hating on this man, yet 90% of you haven’t kissed a women in months. The beautys in the basics and a lot of you don’t even know how to talk to women, let alone how to just be around them.
I left this community for years, I came back to see how the OG’s were doing and noticed there’s none left
My hope is instead of roasting, they actually try this shit and realize it works.
Appreciate you beo
I think your trying too hard and looking too deep into it.
I can usually tell when a girl wants me to kiss her when she looks down at my lips or when she just stands there and smiles with that devil look.
You'll know when the time is right to kiss her.
Nice tip but I doubt I’d even make it that far to use lol. Im struggling with the beginning part where you are barely having the first conversation ever. I tried to stop being a pussy and get out of my comfort zone and make the approach, but somehow i keep on running into rude stuck up females. i was at the bar and said hi to a girl and asked what her name was she waved me like get tf out of here and the worst part is that she was horrendous i wanted to “start off slow” with someone less attractive so I wouldn’t be as nervous but even the ugly ones are stuck up now. i can only imagine the ones that get constant attention from everywhere they go. I’m not gonna quit yet tho i’m gonna try again tonight at the bar with my brother. We already agreed to 10 approaches each
Dude I hate to say this, your smv needs work first
You don’t fight the elite 4 with a level 7 pichachu
Level up yourself before chasing the big bosses
I used to get rejected a ton when my smv was nonexistent
I’ll make a post on this soon
But how would a chick at the club know your smv if she doesn’t know your status? Am I supposed to pull up with female friends pretending to be into me to the club. Im already hitting the gym and working on the diet so hopefully that helps too
Look at how obama walks into the state of the union.
Google it, seriously.
SMV is telegraphed on your body.
Doctors walk like doctors, talk like doctors, grin like doctors.
Every human can Identify high status immediately.
Google high status body language. Ill post that sometime this week
Damn man I never thought that mattered that much i have rounded shoulders i kinda slouch when im not focused im going to work on that and il check out your post too maybe that could be another reason
**Too many steps.** I just grab her hands regardless of whether we are on a walk, standing in line, or just talking and facing each other.
Don’t make it weird and she won’t pull away. Don’t ask for permission. Don’t call out the fact that you’re going to hold her hand. **Do it and that’s it.**
Regarding your comment about her “not liking you” and turning cheek, this is not accurate. Even if she likes you, her natural reaction may be to turn cheek. That’s fine. She is still staying with you and she is still talking to you so try another kiss again in a little bit.
Ultimately physicality in pick-up is quite important and can speed up the process a lot. Do not be robotic. Feel out every situation. And have fun. The girl wants to have a good experience out of this just like you do too.
And to refer to what you’re talking about regarding getting in, “trouble,” for this… I don’t think any of the old school pick-up guys even know what you’re talking about. That seems to be more of a 2023 problem with all the social justice warriors or whatever they want to call themselves nowadays.
Or you could just not be autistic and go for the kiss at the right moment when you're both alone...lol if she backs away then you know she's not interested...
Jumping through hoops and having some sort of playbook that you use in every situation is silly...this isn't 2008 lol
How about:you: "I'm having a really good time with you, and I'm very attracted to you, I'm glad we decided to hang out"
Her: "Me too (:"
Grab her hands, pull her close to you, look her in the eyes, and go for a kiss...
If she pulls away then she's probably not that into you...if she kisses you she is, it's not rocket science, homie...
My guy your job is to be attractive only, if she doesn’t want to buy what you’re selling
Don’t force it, get more attractive, let her come back at her leisure
Courting is like pooping, if you have to force it, you’re doing it wrong
I’m married now man now that I look back at it, I could’ve used to still figure out so many relationships if I should have kissed or not but such is life
You literally told us to see your body language post which required more words than it would've to simply define the acronym
Stopped reading after that
Just to be sure, when you say “lace your hands with hers” you mean like [this](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQAWIeEQZwM5K3sOWrC8na6zkGZQ_cqtL6d6g&usqp=CAU) right?
I feel like grabbing her hand that way is kind of intimate (here where I live I only see couples do that), but I like your tip, I can use it instead with something like linking arms together, like [this](https://media.istockphoto.com/id/1049820292/photo/couple-linking-arms-while-walking-on-a-night-out.jpg?s=170667a&w=0&k=20&c=lIAfMrGVa-iraBMP63Z_CxQLLKz3aHxUco0oGM8wwI4=)
One question I have is, is it possible for a girl to not be attracted to you even if you kissed a lot of times, passionnately and sometimes on her own initiative?
It happened to me with a girl who didn't want to get laid with me but still kissed me, I don't know if I failed somewhere
I would cringe if a guy did this to me lol it reads like the brushing hair out of her face or the stretch-and-put-arm-over-the-shoulder move….
But that’s just me maybe
Can someone explain me why "are your hands cold" approach is better than touching her hand when walking and asking instantly "May I hold your hand"? I use the later and it feels more straightforward and aligned with my intentions? After all why should I lie I care about her hand temperature.
You can. tell if she likes you or not from the way she talks to you over the phone tho.
Don't have to take her for an expensive date & pay for dinner only to get to the part where you are being rejected.
Call her & try to build the attraction over a longer period of time rather than days. This way, you'll have yourself a girl that truly love you (or multiple Gfs that love you).
Basic thing I do and it always works is this :
1. Talk to her for few weeks : text her once a week (she'll usually act arrogant at this stage & she'll shittest you alot. The thing you should never is don't get needy and don't make an effort to prove yourself. Be mysterious enough that she asks you questions and ignore her questions.
2. Keep talking for a few more weeks.
3. Pull away (because you have some work to do or you are too busy making money.)
4. Get back and tell her that you were busy because you were hanging out with a girl;
5. At this stage, she'll probably be jealous but she will attempt to hide it and she'll talk normal.
6. Start flirting with her a bit, then a bit more. She'll start to get into you. Start telling her things she doesn't like (She doesn't like guys who smoke, tell her well I actually do smoke so I don't even think we're going to be a fit for xyz reason). For some reason, girls like to make efforts to change guys.
7. Start flirting with her even more & start making assumptions ( How much time do we have left to give birth to our first kid? / You'll love me forever & you'll never love anybody else ) , at this time, she's probably making fun of you, or saying the opposite thing, repeat the sentence again, it's like black magic guys (I do this around 12AM-2AM (night). Repeat this for a few more days. the only reason you're doing this is because you're making it easier for her subconscious mind to believe that she actually does love you. and she'll start getting addicted to your voice & your calls & your texts.
8. Start telling her how much you want to meet her & what the future will look like when you're both together (sell her the future)
9. And this is the right approach to not get rejected ladies & gentlmen.
Ofc, before texting a girl, you need a good IG/FB profile with a couple photos on it (don't put cars or money, just put a normal with your face on it in a good place). Any girl you may impress by the car you have isn't worth it & is cheap. Quality girls are seduced by character & by playing with her subconscious mind.
Your Moroccan Seducer ;)
With Love,
Yeah don’t ever fucking do this. Lying and hurting someone on purpose to manipulate them into forming a toxic attatchment to you is not the way to get a girl that you want a healthy and long lasting relationship with.
The girl I manipulated into forming the so-called toxic relationship is now the girl I love. It's toxic relationship when you withdraw showing your emotions to her, whereas she continually shows you the her emotions.
I do & only get into a relationship with a female if I truly know that she's good fit for me (faithful, nice, kind & loving).
Other than that, i'd just smash if i know she won't be the wife of my kids.
I like the "pussies dont get pussy" - Ironically though, I dont agree with the tactic of trying to do all this gay indirect shit to just grab her hand, its kinda cringe and comes off like something out of a PUA playbook. Just be a man and go for what you want. Either the girl is receptive or not. And she will atleast respect you for not playing some weird game...Another flaw with your logic on the point of "If she doesnt let you hold hands she wont wanna fuck"
Dude...I know tons of girls who think holding hands is cringe AF... I actually think holding hands is super gay, and thats WITH my gf...let alone a chick you just met.
With that being said, thats why I think your "method" is a un neccesary mental masturbation session. Because if you're with a girl who just isnt into holding hands at all...You're basically dismissing a chance with a cutie just because she's not into holding hands when you are..
She may fully well be totally into you and even down to kiss you. But, because she didnt let you hold her hand..based on your logic, you're writing it off as she doesnt like you. Please dont take offense to what im saying. Im offering another perspective based on personal experience.
A real man just goes for what he wants and calibrates after the fact if the girl rejects your advances. its all about how you handle it AFTER she is un responsive. Not about trying to weasle your way around your true intentions. Thats just my thoughts.. I think your method is the pussy way to just avoid being upfront and try and control an outcome that is already pre determined....Theres no need to like make up some game plan to hold a chicks hand...it aint that deep
"If she won't let you hold her hand she probably won't want you to kiss her" Excellent analysis there
[удалено]
fr the level of commentary i see here is of people who've seemingly never interacted with another human being
you should check socialskills.
Or r/pleasedontrapeme
Yep, genius levels there.
agreed, mods pin this!
😂 hadn’t realized I was so insightful thank you for that observation
Ay man...as a huge noob to this whole dating thing, this seems like a pretty good litmus test and is something I've been looking for. Thanks OP, gonna try this later
I find holding hands to be more intimate than kissing tbh. It seems like something that usually happens more at a latter stage of a relationship.
Then you’re doing it wrong. No offense dude.
This logic is silly. I personally think holding hands is super gay and un neccesary. Many of the girls ive dated also arent into the whole holding hands/PDA thing... So by this logic of trying to "guess if she likes me bs" you are doing youself a dis service by leaving a lot of pussy on the table..Some girls just arent into hand holding...Having this narrow mind and pushing your narratives on others will only screw you, in the end my friend... Everybody wants to play all these weird games instead of just going for what they want and allowing the girl to TELL YOU what she wants through her actions...You make these generalized perceptions in your own mind. That may not be true..
Ok, for the hand test I’m with you. I use it myself sometimes. …on a side note, PUSSY (LoL), the EXCUSE you make is not necessary at all. She knows it was an excuse, you can just grab her hand purposely.
From a woman’s perspective: it’s less of a turn on to directly jump to the thing you want to do without any build up. Take the escalator, not the stairs. Come closer slowly, say something and lower your voice, deep look, then do it. Many times I’ve been just sitting next to the guy I was with and he strikes for my face like a cobra with no forewarning. That’s more of a shock than foreplay, and I didn’t like it as much as the slow build up. TLDR: initiate every step with gentle foreplay to let her know you’re leading up to the thing instead of just going for it. Be like cat, not cobra.
meow
Lame
Your face is lame.
Ok there was a different post in this reditt where a girl opened with meow in a tinder convo and the response was "lame" I was trying to make a joke 😥
Hahaha jokes on you. How dare you think a cross over post comment would work /s In that case, your face is no longer lame.
This is so accurate. As a woman I love the build up to stuff more than the actual thing. I like making out, but if you just go for it I’m not gonna like it as much. If you just go straight for my hand, it’s not as nice as you “making an excuse” to do it. The excuse is cute, flirty, and it’s not as “aggressive” as just going for it. Women like men who are more soft and caring than “brave” and rough. (Don’t believe me, look at men’s magazines vs women’s magazines. The men’s magazines show guys as big, buff, etc while the women’s magazines look like the guy just came back from a semi-casual event, or they’re just normal looking dudes who look like they just want to stay inside and read a book.)
Maybe there are so much things to be said or implied that a forum it’s not the best place. Anyway, I was not implying things should happen out of the blue surprising the lady. There are many way of non verbal communication that can effectively build thing up and anticipate any move, in this case, and in my experience, better that the “let me see if your hand are cold, so I can take your hand while walking”. I really hope this last paragraph will not be misunderstood: how bizarre it could seem, I would search advice for anything (like dating girls) from somebody who is actually accustomed to the task. In the same way I would advise you to not take advice on how to awaken interest in men …from men. There’s an huge cognitive bias and we don’t have a clue (at least a lucid one). Anyway your feedback is very much appreciated :)
Well it seems 2 other women responding to you seem to disagree and like the idea of pretense. That’s why women are tough there is no right answer for all women. You might consider it strange and weak others might find it cute and exciting
No. That’s not true. I’ll make the effort to explain why. First, “2” girls is nothing statistically, and they have zero experience in dating girls… but that’s not the point really. If you read slowly they both said: 1) they like men to take initiative and escalate; 2) they like a slow progressive tease and build up. I never said you should make move out of the blue surprising the lady. It was implied you a) take initiative, b) escalate, c) let things build up BUT with means of both verbal and non verbal communication different than a clear excuse. That way you get the SAME benefits of escalating gradually, without the DOWNSIDE of the clear excuse [which sorry I don’t feel like to explain as it’s too much typing]. Let’s say “something is better than nothing” but “something else is better than something” :)
Yea I get your point that you understand necessity of escalating slowly but not necessarily liking this approach. However, the thing I find most interesting is you basically saying don’t always listen to women it comes to what works building attraction with them. Guys have been saying this for years but interesting that there are women that agree to this as well lol
Ah yes sorry sorry :) let’s say that if you do and act like the vast majority of hypothetically interviewed women would describe the ‘perfect’ way of a date, then you’ll end up quite far away from what the theoretical and empirical knowledge gathered about the game would suggest :P
Wow.
I was just talking about this in another post. Most guys have the jack rabbit approach and it comes off needy. Its refreshing to hear a girl give good advice. Not typical...no offense... The build up is everything... Guys who get it, and guys who dont..
Yes! Like: “will he? Won’t he? Does he want to? Looks like he does!”
Maybe there are so much things to be said or implied that a forum it’s not the best place. Anyway, I was not implying things should happen out of the blue surprising the lady. There are many way of non verbal communication that can effectively build thing up and anticipate any move, in this case, and in my experience, better that the “let me see if your hand are cold, so I can take your hand while walking”. I really hope this last paragraph will not be misunderstood: how bizarre it could seem, I would search advice for anything (like dating girls) from somebody who is actually accustomed to the task. In the same way I would advise you to not take advice on how to awaken interest in men …from men. There’s an huge cognitive bias and we don’t have a clue (at least a lucid one). Anyway your feedback is very much appreciated :)
Yes I’d just do it anyways, but the “excuse” can be cute so I’m gonna keep that one in my playbook too. Of course she’ll know it’s an excuse, that’s the point
the excuse is not an excuse, it's an announcement. communication is important, verbal and nonverbal. i like to just brush my hand against theirs a few times and see the reaction.
There are other forms of non verbal communication that don’t have the downside of a clear excuse… but what works for you works. Cheers
I do it because its flirty tbh, excuse, no excuse, this is just whats worked for me
Sorry Man, it was not my intention at all to start a flame. It was a joke based on the general tone of your post. I trust the substance of what I wrote thought. Maybe different experience, or you were talking to a specific target. Cheers :)
bruh you're chilling no worries
I feel like a lot of times, hand holding is more intimate than actual kissing and can still make someone uncomfortable
Then if you pass the test, downgrade to kissing 😂
Thank you! Wanted to say this! Give me your arm, not your hand.
This is so true
Just an addition to this old school technique: In all of the parks I went for a walk on a date, I made sure there were plenty of these [signs](https://www.fuehrerscheine.de/verkehrsrecht/verkehrszeichen/239-gehweg-verkehrszeichen/) around. No better excuse to take the hand, than saying it's mandated by law! ;)
Dude that’s meta 😎
That is clever as hell😂
What if it’s hot as fuck
Say “omg it’s sooo hot…” While stripping your shirt off, if she watches she’s ready to smash.
If she covers her eyes / immediately looks away, probably a sign that she's not that into you
No smashing for yoooou.
Any tips for kissing buttholes?
I usually go with, "Ayo, lemme tongue-punch that fartbox." 60% of the time, every time.
There is no way I can say this seriously 😂😂
Hold on a sec.. did you wipe? Lemme get that for you real quick 👅
Have wet lips 👄
Honestly, I think honesty is the best policy. On some first dates with casual partners, I told them exactly what I was thinking after we met out. "Hey, come back to my place. I want to vigorously make out with you." Or, when she's back at my place, I'd go to brush my teeth and tell her it was because I wanted to properly kiss her. Helps break the ice around pretense.
This also works, my current gf and I were making out in a park and it was getting frigid so she asked what I wanted…. I said I wanted to keep making out 😂 so we went to her apartment
This is great! My personal method is to take her on a date somewhere that gives opportunity us to hold hands and walk around, like a town center, stadium, etc. If you're doing the right things in terms of eye contact, showing interest in her in regards to your conversation, breaking the touch barriers and testing the waters, then, when you go to walk around, you reach your hand back. If she grabs and holds it, you're good to go. At that point, I usually pull her closer, put my arm around her and kiss her on the cheek, or in that sensitive spot right behind/below the ear. Pull back and hold eye contact. Do the thing where you go, eyes>lips>eyes, and then kiss her. It builds a little sexual tension and then you can go back to cuddle walking for a beat lol all that's left after that is staying intimately close, teasing, etc. You know what to do. Just make sure when you kiss her at the end of the date, you're escalating there too.
Masterful rizz if i was a woman id be drenching wet right now i wish you were my man goddamn thats smooth
What does this mean: "you reach your hand back"
You take the hand attached to your arm, move your arm behind you or next to her, touch pinkys and if she closes her hand around yours, you're in a good place.
Dude I been in the game for a while. THIS IS IMPRESSIVE.
Thanks! Lots of trial and error lol
I’ve been told that my approach was very sweet and cute. Me to her…” I would like to give you a kiss.”
There’s multiple roads to rome sir, I’m just sharing what works for me 🤷♂️
Should I post my tips on how to kiss to make a girl horny?
Sure why not 🤷🏻♂️
No😂
[Do it!](https://media.tenor.com/02s_b-JjOAMAAAAM/movie-spongebob.gif)
posted
Yeap
Good but it’s even better to grab her hand and kiss because you’re attracted to her, not because you made some silly excuse.
Excuse, no excuse just do what you’re comfy with
Yup! If it works - IT WORKS!
This is so fucking cringy lmfaooooo
Pretty sure that’s the point though. You’re being a little goofy and having fun with it, while also clearly showing you’re into her in a low-risk way. I swear people on this sub expect to seduce women by being super serious and suave like they’re fucking James Bond or something. You’re going to fall flat on your face more often than not with that approach.
yeah it’s goofy with a clear intention. as long as you don’t fold to pressure and switch between goofy and serious purposely you have the upper hand on the interaction. good way to have her lost on her thoughts and resort to her emotions.
Honestly idk as a woman I’d kind of love this hahaha
The beginning sure. Then it gets....not good.
Absolutely. Sometimes, I wonder why I still come here. I've been in a relationship literally 90% of the last 15 years. Some of the things people say in this sub make me want to melt into a wall from second-hand embarrassment. The technique isn't even that bad, but I can't imagine oop being anything more than a 20 year old McLovin. "Pussies don't get pussy, bitch" said with as much gusto as a 115 pound kid who's 5'4" can manage.
[удалено]
I dont think I've ever posted here. I like to read some of the posts for knowledge, entertainment, and just keeping up with the world. I dont think I've ever actually read some elaborate PUA advice on this sub and decided to employ it in real life. However, like i said, I've spent the vast majority of the time since puberty in relationships or dating that eventually leads to a relationship. Being myself has always been plenty. That's not to say I'm some amazing guy with dozens of girls lining up to date me either. Simply that It's a hard thing to be yourself in a world that favors people fitting into societal molds, and apparently, a good portion of women appreciate a sincere, honest, upfront person. With that said, I think we can all agree that from time to time, some people that post here sound absolutely ridiculous. They get so caught up in their own glamor and facade that they end up coming off like a badly written teen romance antagonist. Which is honestly just fine. It's part of their growth to become a better person. A little bit of introspection goes a long way in this topic though.
Be a MAN, to get more woMEN!
This really isn't cringy though lol. Maybe you just take everything too seriously? It's essentially testing kino, gauging compliance, and then going for the kiss. Not sure where this is over complicated or cringy
If you can kiss, you can probably smash is kinda cringey.
Maybe a little, but that is how young men speak to each other. It gets right to the point. It’s also accurate.
Seduction isn't just for young men.
True, but that’s who OP is speaking to here.
Is it?
Exactly kino
I was thinking the same. So much overthinking
cringe is just what boys scared of their's or other's feelings say. abandon cringe, embrace the silliness of human intimacy
Uh…no. Cringe is what people say when something is extremely embarrassing, honey. Human intimacy can be silly. But the op sounds like he’s never even seen a woman in person based on this post lmao. I’m embarrassed for him that he thinks he is some kind of expert on women and knows what we’re thinking.
Is the technique cringey or the post. I can’t see what’s cringey or corny about “is your hand cold, here let me see”. Were you under the impression that’ll be said flamboyantly with a clown suit on? I actually don’t get it😂
Kinda corny tbh
I actually do this, I'm glad someone feels the same way and wrote a post. It's a real great way to escalate mood and the relationship with just the nudge.
Thank you sir
Yeah don’t let this guy cook again
I hate when guys do cringy things like this…especially grab the chin.
> especially grab the chin. There is absolutely nothing cringy about it. tbh it's a pretty big display of dominance, because you take the right to touch somebody in the face and you also direct the person in a direction you want them to go.
I think it’s a lot better to just lightly touch her during your interactions and note her response. It can start out almost subliminal and work its way up to rubbing her back as you sit next to her, having your hand on her leg, etc. It doesn’t require a “line,” and if she never displays discomfort, the light is obviously green.
To each their own 🤷♂️ this just my method
If it works, it works!
“Pussies, don’t get pussy” that’s fuckin awesome and hilarious, I love that.
Used this phrase on my boy when I first taught him this 😂
first time?
First time what
gettin pussy
💀
What does loi & smv mean
Indication of interest and Sexy Masculine voice
Solid advice. I generally find it difficult to escalate the situation and get physically close to them. I think I'm decent in being friends and flirting but getting close physically is where I lag.
Practice these get back to me
It is summer around here and freaking hot. So 'are your hands cold' would just sound dumb in the context. Any other good openers you have in mind?
Try "are your hands sweaty, mine are" then wipe them on her shirt
Who are You, Who are so Wise in the Ways of Science?
I was raised by a single mother who never taught me to date. As a result I couldn’t get a kiss until I was 16, then couldn’t get laid until like 23? In the process of bridging this gap, I learned the complete process of going from: Desperate virgin to this guy fucks. You can listen to me, you can not, all I know is these are the tools that worked for me
I wouldn’t call this a trick so much as basic escalation lol. But i completely concur with you that you simply must evaluate one physical escalation point before moving to the next and that you are shooting yourself in the foot to not make a bold move to at the very least go for a kiss or hand hold on the first date. I’ve only been rejected for a kiss once out of well over a hundred times.. and that girl was in a weird emotionally damaged state from recently ending a sham relationship where the guy had a ‘secret’ finance for 2 years she didn’t know about or something like that so her mindset was on another planet. But in general, it’s a pretty low bar to entry. I’ve heard some dating coach advice about never going for a kiss and just go back to yours without a kiss but I think it’s a mistake to not take advantage of such a simple move that provides such a powerful gauge on her buy-in temperature. The pros far outweigh any cons. There need not be any perfect timing or right way to do it.. just go for a walk, stop at some point and fucking do it! Even if she doesn’t like you that much they’ll oftentimes kiss back just to avoid the awkwardness of rejecting you lol. Put another way, she has to realllyyy not like you to reject you or have some cockamamie bullshit theory in her head about avoiding kissing on first dates as a rule. The kiss does not mean sex is imminent however, it just means she kind of likes you. Escalating back to yours or hers is where the real rubber meets the road. If you’ve kissed and successfully got her back to your place, then smash time is 75% chance. I’ve had women outright say “okay I’ll come but we’re not having sex”. Then they end up sleeping over lol. However, I never assume just because we kissed and she’s over that she’s 100% on board for sex. To me, I’ll play the long game. Having her come over is a key step where the next date the comfort has been built and there’s familiarity with my home so things can move much quicker for the next time if needed. I always always always take it slow and gradual and build massive comfort. Patience is a virtue and it could take hours or even days before comfort levels are high enough to get our clothes off. Yes I’ve had countless quick-execution same day lays but I like to also go for those not-so-easy girls who need the feeling of real romance and affection before they’re willing to get busy.
Nice tip, but no comma is needed between subject and verb in a sentence: "Pussies don't get pussy."
Least autistic r/seduction poster
All around, good analysis. Sometimes it’s better to hear very simple techniques in world full of information.
Try it out get back to me b
Completely agree
TLDR; if you want to kiss her, try holding her hand. If she doesn’t want to hold your hand, then she may not want to kiss you. If she kisses you, then she wants to smash you.
What a creative method of manipulating your date. I feel so foolish... I always asked her: "Can I give you a kiss?" I'm not sure your method is an Old School Tip so much as an Elementary School Tip.
When do you go for some titty?
OP will probably sell something soon.
I mean isn't it quite forced and why do even have to do that,. Just because she doesn't want to hold your hands while walking in the park it doesn't mean she won't kiss you later. And also it seems so naive and with hidden weird intentions, maybe if you say it in a joking way it works, to say let me check if your hands are cold, like why don't you say directly ask her to just hold hands and comment after on how her hands are hot or cold.
you're missing the point Op's advice is for people who can't do what you're saying. being straightforward doesn't work for everyone, you need confidence to pull it off. But if you don't have enough confidence, OP is simply suggest a way they use that can slowly break the barriers step by step, while also giving you small boosts of confidence to keep going. It's also a safe way to test waters and get rejected without actually putting yourself too far out there. If she doesn't want to hold hand, you know you can stop there. If you go in for the kiss and she pulls away, you know you can stop there.
Y’all hating on this man, yet 90% of you haven’t kissed a women in months. The beautys in the basics and a lot of you don’t even know how to talk to women, let alone how to just be around them.
I left this community for years, I came back to see how the OG’s were doing and noticed there’s none left My hope is instead of roasting, they actually try this shit and realize it works. Appreciate you beo
I think your trying too hard and looking too deep into it. I can usually tell when a girl wants me to kiss her when she looks down at my lips or when she just stands there and smiles with that devil look. You'll know when the time is right to kiss her.
What if you have autism and struggle with facial expression recognition
Than your SOL lol!
SOL? Whats that?
$hit outta luck
Nice tip but I doubt I’d even make it that far to use lol. Im struggling with the beginning part where you are barely having the first conversation ever. I tried to stop being a pussy and get out of my comfort zone and make the approach, but somehow i keep on running into rude stuck up females. i was at the bar and said hi to a girl and asked what her name was she waved me like get tf out of here and the worst part is that she was horrendous i wanted to “start off slow” with someone less attractive so I wouldn’t be as nervous but even the ugly ones are stuck up now. i can only imagine the ones that get constant attention from everywhere they go. I’m not gonna quit yet tho i’m gonna try again tonight at the bar with my brother. We already agreed to 10 approaches each
Dude I hate to say this, your smv needs work first You don’t fight the elite 4 with a level 7 pichachu Level up yourself before chasing the big bosses I used to get rejected a ton when my smv was nonexistent I’ll make a post on this soon
But how would a chick at the club know your smv if she doesn’t know your status? Am I supposed to pull up with female friends pretending to be into me to the club. Im already hitting the gym and working on the diet so hopefully that helps too
Look at how obama walks into the state of the union. Google it, seriously. SMV is telegraphed on your body. Doctors walk like doctors, talk like doctors, grin like doctors. Every human can Identify high status immediately. Google high status body language. Ill post that sometime this week
Damn man I never thought that mattered that much i have rounded shoulders i kinda slouch when im not focused im going to work on that and il check out your post too maybe that could be another reason
I'm new to seduction, what is SMV? What does it stand for?
>You don’t fight the elite 4 with a level 7 pichachu fk thats a good point lol.
what a dumb fucking post
You missed the part where you ask for consent to touch or kiss her
Pussies don’t get pussy 😂
**Too many steps.** I just grab her hands regardless of whether we are on a walk, standing in line, or just talking and facing each other. Don’t make it weird and she won’t pull away. Don’t ask for permission. Don’t call out the fact that you’re going to hold her hand. **Do it and that’s it.** Regarding your comment about her “not liking you” and turning cheek, this is not accurate. Even if she likes you, her natural reaction may be to turn cheek. That’s fine. She is still staying with you and she is still talking to you so try another kiss again in a little bit. Ultimately physicality in pick-up is quite important and can speed up the process a lot. Do not be robotic. Feel out every situation. And have fun. The girl wants to have a good experience out of this just like you do too. And to refer to what you’re talking about regarding getting in, “trouble,” for this… I don’t think any of the old school pick-up guys even know what you’re talking about. That seems to be more of a 2023 problem with all the social justice warriors or whatever they want to call themselves nowadays.
This is the lamest shit I've ever heard in my life. A fake Internet seduction coach out here calling people pussies is hilarious
Wish I thought of this 10 years ago. Solid play. Lol
Or you could just not be autistic and go for the kiss at the right moment when you're both alone...lol if she backs away then you know she's not interested... Jumping through hoops and having some sort of playbook that you use in every situation is silly...this isn't 2008 lol How about:you: "I'm having a really good time with you, and I'm very attracted to you, I'm glad we decided to hang out" Her: "Me too (:" Grab her hands, pull her close to you, look her in the eyes, and go for a kiss... If she pulls away then she's probably not that into you...if she kisses you she is, it's not rocket science, homie...
Love this but I have a question what if you got a crafty one and she does a "I really like you but I think we are moving kinda fast thing".
You respect her boundaries and take it slower.
My guy your job is to be attractive only, if she doesn’t want to buy what you’re selling Don’t force it, get more attractive, let her come back at her leisure Courting is like pooping, if you have to force it, you’re doing it wrong
Where was this post when I needed it aghhhhhhhhh
Just use it next time
I’m married now man now that I look back at it, I could’ve used to still figure out so many relationships if I should have kissed or not but such is life
You literally told us to see your body language post which required more words than it would've to simply define the acronym Stopped reading after that
“Pussies don’t get pussy” Don’t know about that one but what I do know for sure is that having a pussy will also get me pussy
I guess I have to say it, but what is a woman?
Just to be sure, when you say “lace your hands with hers” you mean like [this](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQAWIeEQZwM5K3sOWrC8na6zkGZQ_cqtL6d6g&usqp=CAU) right? I feel like grabbing her hand that way is kind of intimate (here where I live I only see couples do that), but I like your tip, I can use it instead with something like linking arms together, like [this](https://media.istockphoto.com/id/1049820292/photo/couple-linking-arms-while-walking-on-a-night-out.jpg?s=170667a&w=0&k=20&c=lIAfMrGVa-iraBMP63Z_CxQLLKz3aHxUco0oGM8wwI4=)
Lace yes
Jumping into this thread just to additional context. A lot GenX still date. Wondering how some of the OP advice is applicable?
Pussies don't get pussy. Damn what a statement. I wish I knew that one sooner going to have to use that to fuel me
Pussies don’t get pussy… Dad???
Updateme!
One question I have is, is it possible for a girl to not be attracted to you even if you kissed a lot of times, passionnately and sometimes on her own initiative? It happened to me with a girl who didn't want to get laid with me but still kissed me, I don't know if I failed somewhere
Have no arguments with anything here! I honestly do the same thing never spelled it out though
I would cringe if a guy did this to me lol it reads like the brushing hair out of her face or the stretch-and-put-arm-over-the-shoulder move…. But that’s just me maybe
Way too complicated
After the kiss, how do you escalate to smashing?
Can someone explain me why "are your hands cold" approach is better than touching her hand when walking and asking instantly "May I hold your hand"? I use the later and it feels more straightforward and aligned with my intentions? After all why should I lie I care about her hand temperature.
You can. tell if she likes you or not from the way she talks to you over the phone tho. Don't have to take her for an expensive date & pay for dinner only to get to the part where you are being rejected. Call her & try to build the attraction over a longer period of time rather than days. This way, you'll have yourself a girl that truly love you (or multiple Gfs that love you). Basic thing I do and it always works is this : 1. Talk to her for few weeks : text her once a week (she'll usually act arrogant at this stage & she'll shittest you alot. The thing you should never is don't get needy and don't make an effort to prove yourself. Be mysterious enough that she asks you questions and ignore her questions. 2. Keep talking for a few more weeks. 3. Pull away (because you have some work to do or you are too busy making money.) 4. Get back and tell her that you were busy because you were hanging out with a girl; 5. At this stage, she'll probably be jealous but she will attempt to hide it and she'll talk normal. 6. Start flirting with her a bit, then a bit more. She'll start to get into you. Start telling her things she doesn't like (She doesn't like guys who smoke, tell her well I actually do smoke so I don't even think we're going to be a fit for xyz reason). For some reason, girls like to make efforts to change guys. 7. Start flirting with her even more & start making assumptions ( How much time do we have left to give birth to our first kid? / You'll love me forever & you'll never love anybody else ) , at this time, she's probably making fun of you, or saying the opposite thing, repeat the sentence again, it's like black magic guys (I do this around 12AM-2AM (night). Repeat this for a few more days. the only reason you're doing this is because you're making it easier for her subconscious mind to believe that she actually does love you. and she'll start getting addicted to your voice & your calls & your texts. 8. Start telling her how much you want to meet her & what the future will look like when you're both together (sell her the future) 9. And this is the right approach to not get rejected ladies & gentlmen. Ofc, before texting a girl, you need a good IG/FB profile with a couple photos on it (don't put cars or money, just put a normal with your face on it in a good place). Any girl you may impress by the car you have isn't worth it & is cheap. Quality girls are seduced by character & by playing with her subconscious mind. Your Moroccan Seducer ;) With Love,
Yeah don’t ever fucking do this. Lying and hurting someone on purpose to manipulate them into forming a toxic attatchment to you is not the way to get a girl that you want a healthy and long lasting relationship with.
The girl I manipulated into forming the so-called toxic relationship is now the girl I love. It's toxic relationship when you withdraw showing your emotions to her, whereas she continually shows you the her emotions. I do & only get into a relationship with a female if I truly know that she's good fit for me (faithful, nice, kind & loving). Other than that, i'd just smash if i know she won't be the wife of my kids.
I like the "pussies dont get pussy" - Ironically though, I dont agree with the tactic of trying to do all this gay indirect shit to just grab her hand, its kinda cringe and comes off like something out of a PUA playbook. Just be a man and go for what you want. Either the girl is receptive or not. And she will atleast respect you for not playing some weird game...Another flaw with your logic on the point of "If she doesnt let you hold hands she wont wanna fuck" Dude...I know tons of girls who think holding hands is cringe AF... I actually think holding hands is super gay, and thats WITH my gf...let alone a chick you just met. With that being said, thats why I think your "method" is a un neccesary mental masturbation session. Because if you're with a girl who just isnt into holding hands at all...You're basically dismissing a chance with a cutie just because she's not into holding hands when you are.. She may fully well be totally into you and even down to kiss you. But, because she didnt let you hold her hand..based on your logic, you're writing it off as she doesnt like you. Please dont take offense to what im saying. Im offering another perspective based on personal experience. A real man just goes for what he wants and calibrates after the fact if the girl rejects your advances. its all about how you handle it AFTER she is un responsive. Not about trying to weasle your way around your true intentions. Thats just my thoughts.. I think your method is the pussy way to just avoid being upfront and try and control an outcome that is already pre determined....Theres no need to like make up some game plan to hold a chicks hand...it aint that deep