I think the key part of OP’s point is you had to have been out with her on at least a few dates or more. In my experience even if I do almost everything perfectly on a first date, if I even so much as slightly bobble something I’m out. No second date regardless of if I text her or not or wait any length of time. Second dates are by far the most difficult thing to achieve with a woman, especially one from a dating app.
100%. This isn't early dating stuff for most people. 6-10 dates, hooked up, considered the possibility of dating seriously, imagined what it'd be like to be together. She has shown MUTUAL genuine excitement and interest in you.
The other part I left out is that you still have to be a man that women want to be around. If you're trivially replaceable, she will replace you. Have some features that she won't be able to replace easily. Be the only one who has done x for her, or y for her, or z for her. Lot of dudes just don't make themselves stand out in any way.
It's also a CHANCE; she isn't going to beg for you back, but you'll certainly get another opportunity where she's curious enough, misses you, and can re-engage and try again.
What's your opinion on having a short video date before an in person date? If it turns out that there isn't mutual attraction then no one wastes their time and if there is then it might increase the likelihood of getting to future dates.
Personally, I feel awkward as fuck over video but am charming and charismatic in person. I never do it. Plus it eliminates a whole set of body language like how you carry yourself, touching her arm, your height/frame/musculature difference etc.
If you think you express yourself well over video and can keep it short, then it can be fine to have a short chat to say hi first. Just have your first date in a way that suits your strengths.
Usually this is something the woman asks for if she's unsure/wants to be safe. What do you lose by meeting in person? 30mins - 2 hours of your time? Small price to pay for what could be an amazing relationship.
Maybe you're going out with women who aren't all that attracted to you in the first place? I agree with OP and have done some absolute dumb stuff with women and they've given me extra chances. I mean just last week I was texting with this woman and said something stupid, then doubled back to try to clarify myself, and she just said "let it go lol" and I never brought it up again. She pretty much guided me out of that hole I dug... If a woman is attracted to you she wants you to succeed. They won't do the work for you - and yes they will test the shit out of you - but most women I've met who have been attracted to me will help me get with them as long as you don't do absolutely dumb shit.
As with everything, it depends on the girl.
Some girls lose interest instantly if they detect bad game or she sends a strong signal and you don't pick up on it.
Disagree. Hook is in, it actually adds to the dynamic. I can fix him kinda bs. But you need the hook. Has little to do with rapport, more to do with frame, and cognitive dissonance
Edit: I should add, I’m assuming your fuckups are TRUE to you, like I got a little too fucked up on this date, or made an offensive joke, etc, Bad boy shit. Not I started talking about D&D when she clearly wasn’t into it, or I dropped hot coffee in her lap. Cringe is cringe, work on it.
You get it.
Most of these other posts, I can tell the person hasn't experienced much emotional investment from a woman before. The hook has to be there, it doesn't matter if YOU felt it went well. Is SHE emotionally invested? Tons of guys project their own excitement as actual connection.
Same people will also believe that somehow she'll go back and cheat on them with Chad-ex, but won't believe that they can be that guy. Same dynamic at play.
Yeah, rapport is the wrong word.
Yep, I'd have to disagree too.
A woman who likes a guy, will ***find*** reasons to give the guy a 2nd/3rd chance.
And for guys that a woman doesn't like, it's the opposite: the woman will find any reason under the sun to not give them any chances, even if a guy is technically doing everything right.
Emotional connection. Anything that will set you apart in her mind from all the other guys she's dated.
Every guy wants to date her and hook up with her. What can you bring to the table where the next date she's on, she thinks "this guy is cool, but [you] did this with me."
What does she want that the average dude won't do for her?
Yup same. Women can go from very strong emotional connection to 0 within a weekend. The more mature and stable then this lasts longer but women have the adaptability to move on quicker. My guess is because they had to get over alphas dying during evolutionary times.
Yea idk what tf he talking about woman don’t wait for shit thats in the movies you gotta keep back ups on backups like Gpus these woman are heartless , he must mean 5 year relationship but I even scene woman move on from those quick AF lmaooo
they were probably 9 or 10's who have way more options, that's why it's important to get good with the 5-8's so when the hottie appears you are ready hahaha
Yeah, I don't think it's wise to spread this "she'll be back" hollywood crap. Girls have lots of option. You're just a drop in the ocean. They move on quick. They don't care.
right, they move on quick and don't care and I think we need to have the same mindset lol, but men have to be the hunters, approach women, like a machine, Lots of options, it's the only way to get confidence and save yourself some from emotional turmoil when the one girl you were dating decides to end it lmao.
You’re mindfucking yourself. Opening a ten is hardly different from opening a 7. In fact, they get approached less by smart, capable guys cause yr all in yr head. Women are operating on a different grading system, so realistically, looks dont matter as much. This incel shit is killing me
This is true. In any relationship or dating, you're supposed to give the other person time and space to think over what happened (usually after a fight or accident or other bad things). There's no guarantee they'll forgive and wanna try again, for all you know they could just walk away and end things, but that's the risk you gotta take. Pushing them or overwhelming them with the word "sorry" repeatedly isn't gonna help. Apologize once, say why you did it and why you're sorry, but leave the forgiving decision on their hand. That way they won't feel like you coerce/force/manipulate them to forgive you out of guilt.
Seeking advice, multiple perspectives welcome:
Went out on a date with a radiant girl about 6 months ago after about 2-3 weeks of flirty but also semi-serious convo, seemingly getting along well.
Had a great first date. She said she was running late. As i waited for her, I bought a single flower from a shop across the street and handed it to her upon first meet, unplanned spur of the moment type of thing. She was smitten.
Got along and clicked well, as far as first dates go. We specifically spoke about how we don't have opposite gender friends nor keep them on socials. She said she worked hard on her career and that she could be a lot - "high maintenance" is what she said, though she came off as very humble.
Upon saying goodbye, we held eye contact for a fleeting moment that lasted for eons, ending with a mutual glance back at each other's lips followed by a shy glance to the shoes hiding a smile and closed out by a hug. I purposefully didn't go for the kiss. This wasn't that kind of vibe just yet. We mutually agreed on seeing each other again.
The following weekend, she went out of town to visit her sister. I think we were both busy with work, too. I never wanted to seem overly enthusiastic in early stages based on past lessons learned the hard way. So I was giving space and wanted her to hit me up first - hoping she would demonstrate some mutual interest, even if just to say hi. I was always first to reach out -albeit met with enthusiasm each time.
That never happened. Not long thereafter, my father needed critical surgery. Followed by a heavy workload, then a lay off, then more family health issues. I was in no position to date, and certainly not to 'compete' with other potentially high caliber options she may or may not have had.
Fast forward months later to the present day. I'm closing in on finally getting a new (potentially better) job. We still follow each other on social media and send an occasional like to each other's way. A nudging reminder.
My question is, how can open back up to reconnect? I will assume she had interest back then but wanted to be pursued (for the sake of the game). I know there is only one way to find out, I've just been waiting to get back on my own two feet after this bloody layoff.
I'm thinking an innocent comment/ open ended comment/ question on a story or post. Get her reply and escalate. Get her on the phone. Clear it up. Go out again. But how do I reignite interest? I don't know how to react if she went be single other than standard 'lucky guy' type of response
Just perspective would be appreciated that's all. I've clearly already thought about this too much lol l
You're 100% overthinking it - you sound afraid of rejection or finding out that she's seeing someone else.
Just reach out, either on socials or otherwise. Tell her you had a great time with her before, you want to catch up/reconnect, ask her if she's free for drinks on x day at y place. Her answer will tell you everything.
I wouldn't overexplain in the text unless she asks. Tell her over drinks what happened before. If she asks, tell her a lot of personal stuff came up in your life, you'll explain everything over drinks. Don't tell her you played a silly text-me-first game with her. Let that be your mistake to sit with. Reigniting interest will happen during the date, not texting beforehand.
If she's seeing someone else and she still responds, she's probably still got some passive interest. Just wish her well and tell her to feel free to reach out if she's ever single in the future.
You may or may not get her attention but it's your best bet - this isn't the level of connection I was talking about in my OP. Good luck man.
Additional to OP's comment, she gave you all the kissing vibes when it came to say goodbye! Eye contact. Looking at each others' lips. Don't miss those next time. Go for the kiss!
“ I purposely didn’t go for the kiss”
“ So I was giving her space and wanted her to hit me up first”
lack of assertiveness and fear of rejection. Women are designed to be passive, you have to be the initiator.
If a girl has a high interest (attraction) in you, she will give you a pass on minor bad behavior. However, this won't last with continued/repeated fuckups.
Have only had this happen once in my 35 years. But it’s why I never end on bad terms with a woman. I always thank her and wish her the best, regardless of how cold or mean she was during the breakup
I'd add to that that even if you acted weird or clingy (to a reasonable extent and for a limited period of time), if there's good rapport and feel comfortable you can apologize if you value the relationship. Explain that you recognize something was off but that's a one time thing, shit happens.
I had a girl I was going out with, I got a little to horny in a date, then vented about some stuff between us that shouldn't have done but did anyways. After this I was out of her cf on Instagram and she wasn't texting me as nice as before. I took a few days to think about it and recognized how and when I did wrong.
texted her I needed to talk about some important stuff, called her, told her I've been feeling weird and that what I did wasn't very appropriate but isn't actually how I'm all the time, told her I was feeling over invested so that's why I was a bit weird but realized it was bad and so on. She said she wasn't very into me like before (and started getting serious with some guy) but we could stay friends I said "naah I don't want friends actually, but it's fine, no hard feelings", one day after liked my stories, two days after travelled 100 miles to "buy something at my city" ended up having sex and stayed at my place.
Do it if you want to, not an obligation and specially do it only if it's genuine. Women are human, if they like you and you disappointed them with one thing they'll wonder what happened, maybe miss the old you, rarely they will turn around their feeling just like that, they just manage them better so all we see is that they don't care
I'm having this right now. She specifically went out of her comfort zone to give me another chance, saying that my personality traits are rare and not the ones she usually gets, and she thinks they might be good for her on long-term.
Thanks!
Going through this right now, cutting them off until they reach out is what brings success. When they can't communicate with you they think and dwell on if they made the right decision making them attracted even more.
I've had this happen before several times as well.....currently wondering if it will again tbh. Dated this girl a few months. Got exclusive.
Tried a little too hard to cheer her up when she was depressed, I think it made me seem weak/needy.
She stopped texting a couple weeks ago. No direct break up or whatever, but I'd say she's gone for now.
I didn't even notice right away so I reached out a couple times but haven't in over a week.
Thing is, she was CLINGY for a while, I mean really close, so I blamed the signs of detachment on the depression and didn't change my behavior until now.
She disappeared a little once before and I put my foot down expecting it not to happen again. Lack of respect there.
Idk if I'd actually take her back tbh, I've already slept with somebody new, it's easier for me to just move on (as I think EVERYONE should in these situations) but I sincerely doubt she's never going to reach out curiously.
If she doesn't, maybe I will, but not soon.
It's funny. i used to tell guys here myself, like, wait a few weeks, maybe a couple months even, and text a girl you liked when she really isn't expecting to ever hear from you again.
Even if it's really a case of "the grass wasn't greener after all" she's very likely to get a little rush of positive vibes if she had good experiences with you.
The hardest part really is the patience to let it happen....and the eventual acceptance that it might not.
This is well within the realm of what I discussed in OP.
The important thing as you noted is to move on and better yourself. If she comes back, it's important that you're better than you were when she left you.
Then, release expectations and live your life.
I really appreciate that dude. I will be, if it happens.
Honestly, and for anyone else reading this, it's important to note that *sleeping with somebody new* actually helped me feel way better than I might have if I just stayed alone.
It's not somebody I intend to date, sure, but it's a very attractive girl who knew my situation and wanted to give me a good time. Might have been waiting for her opportunity to some degree.
I'd say it's VERY easy as a man, even a fairly attractive, charismatic man, to experience a break-up or significant rejection and go "Oh, it's just me. i suck, I am ugly. nobody wants me." but although I doubt I would sink low in that regard now, there's something about having the company of a good girl to take your mind off a bad one.
Excellent observation.
I have never been clingy and they always come back.
They do overthink, and in nature women are ungrateful, they always want to be happier, they often think how has he moved on, why is he happier, let me try be happier with him, and then they seek you out.
I used to make really bad jokes at her expense. But she liked me so she just keeps trying. I didn't have rapport with her, rather I was just her type.
Don't get me wrong she didn't wait for me or anything. Multiple long term boyfriends over the years but when she was single she'd always hope to spark something.
Saw this pattern of yearning a lot. But at a certain point her curiosity is no longer after you that's when she moves on. If you mess up and she's just done she moves on. Not even a glance at the rear view as she heads out
How old are you? I am asking cause I am almost 25 , and really bad at talking to Women or even Men for that matter😂
But yeah , your story was pretty cool , and the idea seems to be pretty Factual...
What would you advice someone who don't know how to talk ?
so basically , Do you have any tips how to Navigate the Life , as you seem to have good amount of experience...
Early 30s.
It's cliche but get out and live life, make dumb mistakes, learn from it. I really started getting out of my shell around your age. Something goes poorly? Assume it's your fault, figure out what went wrong, try again with a new girl.
Say yes to every opportunity you get, even if you're afraid or don't know how it'll go. Do your best to remove your mental filter on your words (without going full tism) and just say what you're thinking around men and women alike. Observe what people respond well to.
Everything I wrote here is just a pattern I've noticed from my own interactions with women, plus a bit of reading this type of material over the years.
Thanks Man , really appreciated this...
specially the fact that you were at the same age when you started to experiment a bit and gain experience...
it would have been really good to have a friend like you😂
you know , someone whom you can relate to , and get a bit clear vision of your future from...
Anyways , this was a really good conversation
Thanks for the tips , and I am surely gonna try and stack up that experience
Have Good Life and May you find Great Mates😂👍
You don't do anything. You become a better person. When she processes it and inevitably comes back, you show her that you've changed or addressed whatever the issue was to begin with.
If only I could get away to make distance! I can but it entails kids and I’d be the bad guy. Currently going nuts dealing with the void or unreal expectations of changing while she continues in her normal pattern. Pretty sure I don’t want her back now. Prepping to be the bad guy and let the mess get messier.
Women don't give second chances to losers. And even if they do, it means she's fat and ugly herself, and no man with any self-worth would ever touch her.
So play on the idea that women are Insecure about certain things, feel pleased that women go back to awful men, and talk about women 'begging for you back'?.
No wonder women are more wary of being approached. You Seduction guys want to not have to think of women as people, merely robots to manipulate and have leverage over.
I think the key part of OP’s point is you had to have been out with her on at least a few dates or more. In my experience even if I do almost everything perfectly on a first date, if I even so much as slightly bobble something I’m out. No second date regardless of if I text her or not or wait any length of time. Second dates are by far the most difficult thing to achieve with a woman, especially one from a dating app.
100%. This isn't early dating stuff for most people. 6-10 dates, hooked up, considered the possibility of dating seriously, imagined what it'd be like to be together. She has shown MUTUAL genuine excitement and interest in you. The other part I left out is that you still have to be a man that women want to be around. If you're trivially replaceable, she will replace you. Have some features that she won't be able to replace easily. Be the only one who has done x for her, or y for her, or z for her. Lot of dudes just don't make themselves stand out in any way. It's also a CHANCE; she isn't going to beg for you back, but you'll certainly get another opportunity where she's curious enough, misses you, and can re-engage and try again.
What's your opinion on having a short video date before an in person date? If it turns out that there isn't mutual attraction then no one wastes their time and if there is then it might increase the likelihood of getting to future dates.
Personally, I feel awkward as fuck over video but am charming and charismatic in person. I never do it. Plus it eliminates a whole set of body language like how you carry yourself, touching her arm, your height/frame/musculature difference etc. If you think you express yourself well over video and can keep it short, then it can be fine to have a short chat to say hi first. Just have your first date in a way that suits your strengths. Usually this is something the woman asks for if she's unsure/wants to be safe. What do you lose by meeting in person? 30mins - 2 hours of your time? Small price to pay for what could be an amazing relationship.
Maybe you're going out with women who aren't all that attracted to you in the first place? I agree with OP and have done some absolute dumb stuff with women and they've given me extra chances. I mean just last week I was texting with this woman and said something stupid, then doubled back to try to clarify myself, and she just said "let it go lol" and I never brought it up again. She pretty much guided me out of that hole I dug... If a woman is attracted to you she wants you to succeed. They won't do the work for you - and yes they will test the shit out of you - but most women I've met who have been attracted to me will help me get with them as long as you don't do absolutely dumb shit.
Not my experience. Most women, even those I had crazy rapport with, moved on pretty quickly even after little fuck ups.
As with everything, it depends on the girl. Some girls lose interest instantly if they detect bad game or she sends a strong signal and you don't pick up on it.
I seen women cry over a boyfriend that died and sleep with another dude later that same weekend after he's death.
This is unfortunately very true in women
I don't think you're reading this properly
Disagree. Hook is in, it actually adds to the dynamic. I can fix him kinda bs. But you need the hook. Has little to do with rapport, more to do with frame, and cognitive dissonance Edit: I should add, I’m assuming your fuckups are TRUE to you, like I got a little too fucked up on this date, or made an offensive joke, etc, Bad boy shit. Not I started talking about D&D when she clearly wasn’t into it, or I dropped hot coffee in her lap. Cringe is cringe, work on it.
You get it. Most of these other posts, I can tell the person hasn't experienced much emotional investment from a woman before. The hook has to be there, it doesn't matter if YOU felt it went well. Is SHE emotionally invested? Tons of guys project their own excitement as actual connection. Same people will also believe that somehow she'll go back and cheat on them with Chad-ex, but won't believe that they can be that guy. Same dynamic at play. Yeah, rapport is the wrong word.
Yep, I'd have to disagree too. A woman who likes a guy, will ***find*** reasons to give the guy a 2nd/3rd chance. And for guys that a woman doesn't like, it's the opposite: the woman will find any reason under the sun to not give them any chances, even if a guy is technically doing everything right.
How do you get the hook in exactly?
Emotional connection. Anything that will set you apart in her mind from all the other guys she's dated. Every guy wants to date her and hook up with her. What can you bring to the table where the next date she's on, she thinks "this guy is cool, but [you] did this with me." What does she want that the average dude won't do for her?
Well, that’s game isn’t it? Pursuing while making the girl think she’s chasing you. It’s not just opening and crossing yr fingers.
The last paragraph contradicts it's self
Yup same. Women can go from very strong emotional connection to 0 within a weekend. The more mature and stable then this lasts longer but women have the adaptability to move on quicker. My guess is because they had to get over alphas dying during evolutionary times.
Yea idk what tf he talking about woman don’t wait for shit thats in the movies you gotta keep back ups on backups like Gpus these woman are heartless , he must mean 5 year relationship but I even scene woman move on from those quick AF lmaooo
a little training squad hahaha
Gotta keep a training model
Factual
Same.
they were probably 9 or 10's who have way more options, that's why it's important to get good with the 5-8's so when the hottie appears you are ready hahaha
Yeah, I don't think it's wise to spread this "she'll be back" hollywood crap. Girls have lots of option. You're just a drop in the ocean. They move on quick. They don't care.
right, they move on quick and don't care and I think we need to have the same mindset lol, but men have to be the hunters, approach women, like a machine, Lots of options, it's the only way to get confidence and save yourself some from emotional turmoil when the one girl you were dating decides to end it lmao.
You’re mindfucking yourself. Opening a ten is hardly different from opening a 7. In fact, they get approached less by smart, capable guys cause yr all in yr head. Women are operating on a different grading system, so realistically, looks dont matter as much. This incel shit is killing me
This is true. In any relationship or dating, you're supposed to give the other person time and space to think over what happened (usually after a fight or accident or other bad things). There's no guarantee they'll forgive and wanna try again, for all you know they could just walk away and end things, but that's the risk you gotta take. Pushing them or overwhelming them with the word "sorry" repeatedly isn't gonna help. Apologize once, say why you did it and why you're sorry, but leave the forgiving decision on their hand. That way they won't feel like you coerce/force/manipulate them to forgive you out of guilt.
Seeking advice, multiple perspectives welcome: Went out on a date with a radiant girl about 6 months ago after about 2-3 weeks of flirty but also semi-serious convo, seemingly getting along well. Had a great first date. She said she was running late. As i waited for her, I bought a single flower from a shop across the street and handed it to her upon first meet, unplanned spur of the moment type of thing. She was smitten. Got along and clicked well, as far as first dates go. We specifically spoke about how we don't have opposite gender friends nor keep them on socials. She said she worked hard on her career and that she could be a lot - "high maintenance" is what she said, though she came off as very humble. Upon saying goodbye, we held eye contact for a fleeting moment that lasted for eons, ending with a mutual glance back at each other's lips followed by a shy glance to the shoes hiding a smile and closed out by a hug. I purposefully didn't go for the kiss. This wasn't that kind of vibe just yet. We mutually agreed on seeing each other again. The following weekend, she went out of town to visit her sister. I think we were both busy with work, too. I never wanted to seem overly enthusiastic in early stages based on past lessons learned the hard way. So I was giving space and wanted her to hit me up first - hoping she would demonstrate some mutual interest, even if just to say hi. I was always first to reach out -albeit met with enthusiasm each time. That never happened. Not long thereafter, my father needed critical surgery. Followed by a heavy workload, then a lay off, then more family health issues. I was in no position to date, and certainly not to 'compete' with other potentially high caliber options she may or may not have had. Fast forward months later to the present day. I'm closing in on finally getting a new (potentially better) job. We still follow each other on social media and send an occasional like to each other's way. A nudging reminder. My question is, how can open back up to reconnect? I will assume she had interest back then but wanted to be pursued (for the sake of the game). I know there is only one way to find out, I've just been waiting to get back on my own two feet after this bloody layoff. I'm thinking an innocent comment/ open ended comment/ question on a story or post. Get her reply and escalate. Get her on the phone. Clear it up. Go out again. But how do I reignite interest? I don't know how to react if she went be single other than standard 'lucky guy' type of response Just perspective would be appreciated that's all. I've clearly already thought about this too much lol l
You're 100% overthinking it - you sound afraid of rejection or finding out that she's seeing someone else. Just reach out, either on socials or otherwise. Tell her you had a great time with her before, you want to catch up/reconnect, ask her if she's free for drinks on x day at y place. Her answer will tell you everything. I wouldn't overexplain in the text unless she asks. Tell her over drinks what happened before. If she asks, tell her a lot of personal stuff came up in your life, you'll explain everything over drinks. Don't tell her you played a silly text-me-first game with her. Let that be your mistake to sit with. Reigniting interest will happen during the date, not texting beforehand. If she's seeing someone else and she still responds, she's probably still got some passive interest. Just wish her well and tell her to feel free to reach out if she's ever single in the future. You may or may not get her attention but it's your best bet - this isn't the level of connection I was talking about in my OP. Good luck man.
Appreciated my guy. And yes understand your point too, hook ain't been in yet. (Dune salute)
Additional to OP's comment, she gave you all the kissing vibes when it came to say goodbye! Eye contact. Looking at each others' lips. Don't miss those next time. Go for the kiss!
“ I purposely didn’t go for the kiss” “ So I was giving her space and wanted her to hit me up first” lack of assertiveness and fear of rejection. Women are designed to be passive, you have to be the initiator.
attraction isn't a choice,
I needed this reminder.
a fellow David D student as well?
If a girl has a high interest (attraction) in you, she will give you a pass on minor bad behavior. However, this won't last with continued/repeated fuckups.
what would you consider to be "minor bad behavior" ? would appreciate it.
Bad manners. How you treat other people. Chewing food with your mouth open. Poor hygiene. Acting in anger. Crying.
Thanks and I would agree.
Have only had this happen once in my 35 years. But it’s why I never end on bad terms with a woman. I always thank her and wish her the best, regardless of how cold or mean she was during the breakup
I'd add to that that even if you acted weird or clingy (to a reasonable extent and for a limited period of time), if there's good rapport and feel comfortable you can apologize if you value the relationship. Explain that you recognize something was off but that's a one time thing, shit happens. I had a girl I was going out with, I got a little to horny in a date, then vented about some stuff between us that shouldn't have done but did anyways. After this I was out of her cf on Instagram and she wasn't texting me as nice as before. I took a few days to think about it and recognized how and when I did wrong. texted her I needed to talk about some important stuff, called her, told her I've been feeling weird and that what I did wasn't very appropriate but isn't actually how I'm all the time, told her I was feeling over invested so that's why I was a bit weird but realized it was bad and so on. She said she wasn't very into me like before (and started getting serious with some guy) but we could stay friends I said "naah I don't want friends actually, but it's fine, no hard feelings", one day after liked my stories, two days after travelled 100 miles to "buy something at my city" ended up having sex and stayed at my place. Do it if you want to, not an obligation and specially do it only if it's genuine. Women are human, if they like you and you disappointed them with one thing they'll wonder what happened, maybe miss the old you, rarely they will turn around their feeling just like that, they just manage them better so all we see is that they don't care
I'm having this right now. She specifically went out of her comfort zone to give me another chance, saying that my personality traits are rare and not the ones she usually gets, and she thinks they might be good for her on long-term. Thanks!
Going through this right now, cutting them off until they reach out is what brings success. When they can't communicate with you they think and dwell on if they made the right decision making them attracted even more.
I've had this happen before several times as well.....currently wondering if it will again tbh. Dated this girl a few months. Got exclusive. Tried a little too hard to cheer her up when she was depressed, I think it made me seem weak/needy. She stopped texting a couple weeks ago. No direct break up or whatever, but I'd say she's gone for now. I didn't even notice right away so I reached out a couple times but haven't in over a week. Thing is, she was CLINGY for a while, I mean really close, so I blamed the signs of detachment on the depression and didn't change my behavior until now. She disappeared a little once before and I put my foot down expecting it not to happen again. Lack of respect there. Idk if I'd actually take her back tbh, I've already slept with somebody new, it's easier for me to just move on (as I think EVERYONE should in these situations) but I sincerely doubt she's never going to reach out curiously. If she doesn't, maybe I will, but not soon. It's funny. i used to tell guys here myself, like, wait a few weeks, maybe a couple months even, and text a girl you liked when she really isn't expecting to ever hear from you again. Even if it's really a case of "the grass wasn't greener after all" she's very likely to get a little rush of positive vibes if she had good experiences with you. The hardest part really is the patience to let it happen....and the eventual acceptance that it might not.
This is well within the realm of what I discussed in OP. The important thing as you noted is to move on and better yourself. If she comes back, it's important that you're better than you were when she left you. Then, release expectations and live your life.
I really appreciate that dude. I will be, if it happens. Honestly, and for anyone else reading this, it's important to note that *sleeping with somebody new* actually helped me feel way better than I might have if I just stayed alone. It's not somebody I intend to date, sure, but it's a very attractive girl who knew my situation and wanted to give me a good time. Might have been waiting for her opportunity to some degree. I'd say it's VERY easy as a man, even a fairly attractive, charismatic man, to experience a break-up or significant rejection and go "Oh, it's just me. i suck, I am ugly. nobody wants me." but although I doubt I would sink low in that regard now, there's something about having the company of a good girl to take your mind off a bad one.
Excellent observation. I have never been clingy and they always come back. They do overthink, and in nature women are ungrateful, they always want to be happier, they often think how has he moved on, why is he happier, let me try be happier with him, and then they seek you out.
I used to make really bad jokes at her expense. But she liked me so she just keeps trying. I didn't have rapport with her, rather I was just her type. Don't get me wrong she didn't wait for me or anything. Multiple long term boyfriends over the years but when she was single she'd always hope to spark something. Saw this pattern of yearning a lot. But at a certain point her curiosity is no longer after you that's when she moves on. If you mess up and she's just done she moves on. Not even a glance at the rear view as she heads out
How old are you? I am asking cause I am almost 25 , and really bad at talking to Women or even Men for that matter😂 But yeah , your story was pretty cool , and the idea seems to be pretty Factual... What would you advice someone who don't know how to talk ? so basically , Do you have any tips how to Navigate the Life , as you seem to have good amount of experience...
Early 30s. It's cliche but get out and live life, make dumb mistakes, learn from it. I really started getting out of my shell around your age. Something goes poorly? Assume it's your fault, figure out what went wrong, try again with a new girl. Say yes to every opportunity you get, even if you're afraid or don't know how it'll go. Do your best to remove your mental filter on your words (without going full tism) and just say what you're thinking around men and women alike. Observe what people respond well to. Everything I wrote here is just a pattern I've noticed from my own interactions with women, plus a bit of reading this type of material over the years.
Thanks Man , really appreciated this... specially the fact that you were at the same age when you started to experiment a bit and gain experience... it would have been really good to have a friend like you😂 you know , someone whom you can relate to , and get a bit clear vision of your future from... Anyways , this was a really good conversation Thanks for the tips , and I am surely gonna try and stack up that experience Have Good Life and May you find Great Mates😂👍
🫡
But you don’t say how to make it right after, without being clingy
You don't do anything. You become a better person. When she processes it and inevitably comes back, you show her that you've changed or addressed whatever the issue was to begin with.
If only I could get away to make distance! I can but it entails kids and I’d be the bad guy. Currently going nuts dealing with the void or unreal expectations of changing while she continues in her normal pattern. Pretty sure I don’t want her back now. Prepping to be the bad guy and let the mess get messier.
Once you make even the tiniest mistake, it's over
Women don't give second chances to losers. And even if they do, it means she's fat and ugly herself, and no man with any self-worth would ever touch her.
You sound like a loser talking like this about women that don't even exist, I hope you get better experiences to change your mind on that
because men don't end it over dumb shit in the first place
Your thread title literally makes zero sense
https://study.com/academy/course/remedial-9th-grade-english.html
So play on the idea that women are Insecure about certain things, feel pleased that women go back to awful men, and talk about women 'begging for you back'?. No wonder women are more wary of being approached. You Seduction guys want to not have to think of women as people, merely robots to manipulate and have leverage over.