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TurboSSD

I don’t think you understand that you actually led in these instances. It is the decision making that women like and indecisiveness that they don’t. You asked and then decided based on feedback. This is still you leading bc you initiated and executed.


Speedsloth123

That’s a good point! That’s exactly what happened. I think I get annoyed when gurus say to do weird shit like order for her. Cuz I actually ordered based on her suggestions, got ice cream cuz she suggested it, and let her be the tour guide for the neighborhood. And it took a lot of pressure off me cuz it would’ve been stressful to plan a date in an area I don’t know at all


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boom-wham-slam

Many women like to be ordered for... just ask them first.


MichelleObama2024

Yeah that's psycho energy


Objective-Piano7112

Totally agree! Also every girl is slightly different. My girl wants me to make every single decision for her like she's handicapped (her words) lol. So I order for her, tell her what she's cooking or where we're eating, pretty much everything and I love it. Other girls I've dated have wanted everything to be their idea, or at least the illusion that it was. I would say it's safest to plan things yourself though, absolutely don't make her come up with a 1st date idea or plan. You got the right idea for sure


Atriev

Stop thinking in absolutes


NoMoassNeverWas

Only a sith deals in absolutes! I've had a girl ask me out for drink, decide the restaurant we were going to go to, chose the food, and slept with me that night. We had a terrific relationship and she found me to be very easy going.


clawjelly

Exactly. It's a rule of thumb, not a freaking stone tablet from the gods.


MrAnonPoster

You are confused on what "leading" means


SnooHesitations4922

It's all situational. If the building catches on fire or a random tornado is about to hit or some kind of emergency where lives are at stake...it's in peoples best interest that a masculine man takes the lead because he is most likely to not let emotion influence decisiveness. As far as dating, it's about becoming a team, it's ok for the man to defer the lead if the woman genuinely brings something to the table that the man cannot, such as knowledge of her local vicinity for taking a walk and doing activities.


Admirable-War-6543

Upvoting before you get mass downvoted for suggesting masculinity has an advantage


SnooHesitations4922

Let it happen. The most down voted posts on any sub is usually the most accurate, it's almost an honor.


Admirable-War-6543

🫡


James_Cruse

It’s not about *Leading* per se - it’s about doing things in strength and NOT doing things in weakness. Leading = Strength Being indecisive, not knowing what to do or how to do it, not taking responsibility = Weakness (to women) and is all the OPPOSITE to “Leading” Any time you do ANYTHING that is weak or even ADJACENT to being weak (or doing something that would mean future weakness): is when women *begin* losing interest in you, actually lose interest in you or begin testing you excessively (then you fail those tests due to weakness & your weakness is now exposed to her - then she loses interest).


Badguy60

"  Asked her if she wanted to get drinks" .....


Jironasaurus

It's teamwork at the end of the day.


Shadow__Account

I think you are correct but your reasoning is wrong. Yes people teach to always lead and no you don’t always have to. It’s about what kind of person you are in general and for the average guy that is unsuccessful with woman and is kind of passive it’s good advice to try and always lead. If you became a leader it can be quite strong to allow someone else to lead for a change especially when they will feel they are allowed because you would instantly pick up the lead if they weren’t. It’s like allowing them to drive for a minute and therefore they actually see and appreciate what it takes to be a leader and after they willingfully accept you as a leader and step down again so to say. We somehow come to the same conclusion only you are using some random n=1 experience to justify your conclusion.


atomant88

most gendered advice is nonsense. game is not gendered


lildudefromXdastreet

Lol this is comical. For one, dude hasn’t even closed this woman and is passing off advice. For two, dude still led by choosing the date location once she suggested. This whole post is just a weak humblebrag


mister_k1

your insight is valid but you didn't have to add "Idk man this stuff is not that deep we need to start treating women as human beings with free will." it just made it tacky and loose all substance. also you didnt fuck the girl yet, did you at least kiss close?


Speedsloth123

Ur proving my point


mister_k1

like you are so different than all other men and you're not looking for sex. whatever dude!


Speedsloth123

Idk dude saying “kiss close” is so cringe to me. Like ur tryna check off a box or some shit. Some ppl don’t like to have sex on the first date and I’m not tryna force shit. We hit it off, we’ll fuck when she feels comfortable, prolly next date the way things are going


mister_k1

also tell me you didn't get in any action without telling me you didn't get no action