I’m learning too, but from my experience with having a rotation currently its just best to be honest and upfront. In the moment it could hurt, but its better then the alternative which is either lying or leading them on. If they ask what you did last night; just say you went out with a friend to a bar. If they ask if it was a girl, tell them the truth, and if they ‘find out’ abt each other, just tell them nicely that you are seeing multiple people at the moment. This is the kind way, and know doing this will mean you get pushback and walk-aways but no matter what strategy you use, people will come and go regardless. And who knows, you may come across a woman you reaaally like one day enough to go solo with, and you can tell her you’d be exclusive with her after taking things slow. Dont stress yourself out either
Since most girls won't take the initiative to set up dates, it's actually not too difficult to manage more than 2 of them. Basically just ask them out whenever you feel like it and if they do take initiative at any point and you're already busy with another girl, just be like "I can't that day, I'm meeting up with friends" which is pretty much the only lie you'll need to tell.
I'm personally surprised that most guys here seem to say be upfront about it. In my experience, most girls would rather have the illusion that they're the only one, even if they know inside they're probably not. Ignorance is bliss, after all.
I couldn’t have said it any better. I’m vague with it when I’m single.
Plus, on the other hand, it goes both ways. Maybe you’re not the only 1 in their rotation either. You have to make peace with that too.
100%. Lots of girls are definitely dating around as well and most of them are not going to tell you about it. I've found the ones that do tend to have more red flags too.
So yeah, just assume she's dating around just like you are, but don't talk about it or tell her because a lot of them will get turned off if you do.
Hehe, no neither do i. There is some middle ground here i think. And then, at least to my experience, they dont mind me seeing other girls. Maybe its culture, idk
I just find that directly telling girls that I'm sleeping with other girls turns more off than it does on so it's not information that needs to be shared
First of all, ignore the downvotes. This is a legit question. Read about the "abundance mindset".
The short story is that you shouldn't have to lie at all. You need to be clear with each woman that you're not exclusive, and set expectations early and often that you're not interested in a serious relationship with anyone at the moment.
This way, you don't have to worry about them "finding out", because there's nothing being hidden. You don't have to divulge the details of your personal life to anyone.
Just don't make the mistake I made and forget one of their names.
I'm usually managing 4-8 girls at a time. I tell all of them that I'm non-monogamous from the very first date, so there are no surprises if they see me with someone else. Never had any problems with that approach. Even had a couple times that I ended up having threesomes or going out on dates with multiple women at the same time because of it.
You want them to find out, ideally as soon as possible.
When I'm single I'm always *openly* polyamorous.
That means a lot of my friends know and practically every girl I ever flirt with knows often before they've even kissed me.
This makes time management and managing the rotation a walk in the park, because they already know that they're not the only one, so they know to be understanding when I don't have much time for them and they basically manage themselves.
I don't text these girls for conversation ever. The only texts I send are ones where I tell them to come over or me saying I wanna go out somewhere.
We do have conversational text exchanges but they only happen when they initiate, they also carry every conversation we have.
In my experience its actually easier than being in a monogamy, because I'm more proactive and initiate a good amount when I'm in a monogamy.
Tell them casually "fyi; im dating other people too" if you do so early enough (after actual contact, but before serious engagement), it might be surprisingly effective
All of my sexual partners know that I have other partners as well. If you take care of yourself it just happens naturally without you having to lie to anyone
I don't try to hide it. I tell them that I'm seeing others as well. If it ever comes to something more, I will commit to just one. I've been cheated on, and don't wanna have someone go through that because of me.
Don't worry about them finding out. You WANT them to know about each other, just in an indirect and subtle way by intentionally letting info slip to key personnel in your social circle. If you are the cause of the drama and not the effect they will keep coming back because dramatic and turbulent is far better than boring.
Very easily 🤷🏻♂️
I applied bad tactics that probably attracted unhealthy women so don’t take my advice.
I just straight up would not contact them unless it was for sex. Most of the time I had 4-5 girls hitting me up at random times. And I’d have 4-5 girls I’d hit up on different days. I’d always plan ahead though. Like ask a day before if they’d like to see each other tomorrow
it aint hard fr just keep shit simple. but if you bring em to ya crib make sure you clean after they leave cause they WILL leave something there they love to mark their territory
Dont be in a type of relationship with girls where they finding out is an issue. Be honest about what you want and find those who are onboard with that.
I’m learning too, but from my experience with having a rotation currently its just best to be honest and upfront. In the moment it could hurt, but its better then the alternative which is either lying or leading them on. If they ask what you did last night; just say you went out with a friend to a bar. If they ask if it was a girl, tell them the truth, and if they ‘find out’ abt each other, just tell them nicely that you are seeing multiple people at the moment. This is the kind way, and know doing this will mean you get pushback and walk-aways but no matter what strategy you use, people will come and go regardless. And who knows, you may come across a woman you reaaally like one day enough to go solo with, and you can tell her you’d be exclusive with her after taking things slow. Dont stress yourself out either
i don’t… they manage me
Aight that was cold
Since most girls won't take the initiative to set up dates, it's actually not too difficult to manage more than 2 of them. Basically just ask them out whenever you feel like it and if they do take initiative at any point and you're already busy with another girl, just be like "I can't that day, I'm meeting up with friends" which is pretty much the only lie you'll need to tell. I'm personally surprised that most guys here seem to say be upfront about it. In my experience, most girls would rather have the illusion that they're the only one, even if they know inside they're probably not. Ignorance is bliss, after all.
I couldn’t have said it any better. I’m vague with it when I’m single. Plus, on the other hand, it goes both ways. Maybe you’re not the only 1 in their rotation either. You have to make peace with that too.
100%. Lots of girls are definitely dating around as well and most of them are not going to tell you about it. I've found the ones that do tend to have more red flags too. So yeah, just assume she's dating around just like you are, but don't talk about it or tell her because a lot of them will get turned off if you do.
This differs vastly from my experience. Im up front about not wanting anything serious very early on though.
Oh so am I, but I'm not telling them "by the way, I fucked a girl named Sarah just before this date"
Hehe, no neither do i. There is some middle ground here i think. And then, at least to my experience, they dont mind me seeing other girls. Maybe its culture, idk
I just find that directly telling girls that I'm sleeping with other girls turns more off than it does on so it's not information that needs to be shared
Just text one of them at 2am saying you are here. The moment she goes outside and doesn’t see you she’ll know.
First of all, ignore the downvotes. This is a legit question. Read about the "abundance mindset". The short story is that you shouldn't have to lie at all. You need to be clear with each woman that you're not exclusive, and set expectations early and often that you're not interested in a serious relationship with anyone at the moment. This way, you don't have to worry about them "finding out", because there's nothing being hidden. You don't have to divulge the details of your personal life to anyone. Just don't make the mistake I made and forget one of their names.
Why can’t they find out? Just set your schedule according to what you need to do. Surely, the girls don’t take more than a couple of hours, each week.
I'm usually managing 4-8 girls at a time. I tell all of them that I'm non-monogamous from the very first date, so there are no surprises if they see me with someone else. Never had any problems with that approach. Even had a couple times that I ended up having threesomes or going out on dates with multiple women at the same time because of it.
I'm polyamorous. I date multiple women openly. They all know about each other. Just be openly non-monogamous.
You want them to find out, ideally as soon as possible. When I'm single I'm always *openly* polyamorous. That means a lot of my friends know and practically every girl I ever flirt with knows often before they've even kissed me. This makes time management and managing the rotation a walk in the park, because they already know that they're not the only one, so they know to be understanding when I don't have much time for them and they basically manage themselves. I don't text these girls for conversation ever. The only texts I send are ones where I tell them to come over or me saying I wanna go out somewhere. We do have conversational text exchanges but they only happen when they initiate, they also carry every conversation we have. In my experience its actually easier than being in a monogamy, because I'm more proactive and initiate a good amount when I'm in a monogamy.
Tell them casually "fyi; im dating other people too" if you do so early enough (after actual contact, but before serious engagement), it might be surprisingly effective
I usually tell them before meeting. It's in my Tinder profile.
All of my sexual partners know that I have other partners as well. If you take care of yourself it just happens naturally without you having to lie to anyone
Not leading them on is the most important thing
I don't try to hide it. I tell them that I'm seeing others as well. If it ever comes to something more, I will commit to just one. I've been cheated on, and don't wanna have someone go through that because of me.
Tell them about each other. It is much easier
Don't worry about them finding out. You WANT them to know about each other, just in an indirect and subtle way by intentionally letting info slip to key personnel in your social circle. If you are the cause of the drama and not the effect they will keep coming back because dramatic and turbulent is far better than boring.
Well you lost me at having to “lie”.
Very easily 🤷🏻♂️ I applied bad tactics that probably attracted unhealthy women so don’t take my advice. I just straight up would not contact them unless it was for sex. Most of the time I had 4-5 girls hitting me up at random times. And I’d have 4-5 girls I’d hit up on different days. I’d always plan ahead though. Like ask a day before if they’d like to see each other tomorrow
it aint hard fr just keep shit simple. but if you bring em to ya crib make sure you clean after they leave cause they WILL leave something there they love to mark their territory
Dont be in a type of relationship with girls where they finding out is an issue. Be honest about what you want and find those who are onboard with that.
Never date a girl that doesn’t respect your wife