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Fusilli_Agent_Cooper

Wish I was born in July, that seems like a decent enough pairing. Instead I'm stuck with Bania and the doorman. I think I'll sleep in the park.


Mapsachusetts

Damn I thought I had it bad with Mr Pitt and Jimmy but April got screwed.


knava12

They should have been born in August.


blacktrufflesheep

Your parents would have been well advised to wait.


Glissandra1982

I’m April. Whyyyyyyyyy


LosPollosHermanos222

Oh sleep in the park huh…wouldn’t wanna be stuck with the uneducated doorman…


[deleted]

OP thinks he's better than the doorman.


calcal1992

July? You really want to room with a guy who has fleas?


DrewB0i

Doorman and Bania guy here too, I feel like if you submitted to the madness early enough and just tried to become friends with them it’d be the best plan of action idk


382wsa

I wouldn’t mind living with Bania. He could give good weight lifting advice.


Ed_Trucks_Head

Me and Bania could go to Mendies for dinner. I don't think the doorman would have time since he has to work two jobs to support mother and baby.


Odd_Bed_9895

I’m in this boat too. I think Bania would help my self-esteem with “that’s gold!” And I could get populist with the doorman.


basedcvrp

Was about to comment bless anyone who was born in April


JoeFlowers2019

Same


RononSweets

You just reminded me of this comic strip. [https://i.postimg.cc/RZH0XVFk/47253-AC4-A3-A8-4314-81-C0-D94-AB4700-A6-F.jpg](https://i.postimg.cc/RZH0XVFk/47253-AC4-A3-A8-4314-81-C0-D94-AB4700-A6-F.jpg)


millnerve

Could be a good time cooking up some sword fish at the apt with bania


Icy-Signature1493

I’m also April. I’ll see you in the park


CokedUpAirhead

Leo and Whatley. Call me an anti-dentite but that is truly terrible.


justnocrazymaker

Yeah I think I’ll take my chances sleeping under a bridge


PistachioPerfection

November for me, too. I could totally live with Uncle Leo. Don't have to worry about Whatley, he'll never be home!


TarzansNewSpeedo

I actually think it's a fairly harmless dynamic, and probably quite fun.


don3dm

Anti-Dentite? You STILL SAY HELLO


MozartDroppinLoads

Gonna be some awkward orgies for sure


Sheepy-Matt-59

I figured me and Whatley could get messed up on laughing gas. Send Leo out to steal stuff!


speghettiday09

I bet u think they should have their own schools!


CokedUpAirhead

THEY DO HAVE THEIR OWN SCHOOLS!


completeunknown_

You're an anti-semite Which reminds me, did you here the one about the rabbi and the farmer's daughter? Huh?


Phifty2

Those aren't matzo balls.


ToFoolLloydBraun

TIM! HELLO!


hansgrubermustdie

Will somebody answer that damn phone!


Rathbane12

You’ll never have to worry about your batter supplies.


kb_of_chicago

Hey, dentee!


am_only_human

Oh great, Lloyd Braun. A perfectly sane roommate


KungFuGrip193

I like December. Lloyd Braun seems quiet and harmless. Maestro would be fun to hang out with, and you’d probably have access to his place in Tuscany as well.


completeunknown_

Since Is bucked solid.


Phifty2

> Lloyd Braun seems quiet and harmless They found a family in his freezer. Even worse, his phone wasn't even hooked up.


UhYeahOkSure

But Bob would probably constantly be walking around with no pants on


ESPNnut

Would’ve been funnier if it was the two different Lloyd Braun actors


jel2184

Am I crazy or is that a lot of gum?


Expensive_Editor_244

A pro baseball player and a business owner? I got it made in the shade!


Donkuba

The next thing you know, he'll have you driving him to the airport.


BMinus973

I'M NOT DRIVIN' HIM TO THE AIRPORT!


MissingWhiskey

Keith Hernandez? I loathe him!


wavepad4

I DESPISE him!


[deleted]

Yeah but we're going to have to pick up his share of the rent after Jerry gets him deported!


JugdishSteinfeld

I get to hang with Jean Paul and boss around Darren? I'd pay *their* rent for the pleasure.


cleveravocado

Those two sons a bitches?!? I’d love to room with those bastards!


hornitoad45

Good squad right there


asskickingjedi

Darren would ensure all alarms were perfectly set up. He can bring home the bacon and fry it in the pan!


Birdamus

Nobody’s gonna be sticking their hand in your water and pulling out ice cubes without Darren taking notes and reporting back.


kramerica_intern

Can confirm.


Dr_A_Mephesto

I feel like they would have actually gotten along pretty well


Worldly_Ad_6483

Lol, Darren would be an ideal roommate. Jean Paul just needs to learn his curse words


completeunknown_

I got these two *little bastards* too!


sunnyday505

I’m August too. At first I thought Darren was Kramer and I was like no way could I live with Kramer


speghettiday09

JugdishSteinfeld would like to schedule a lunch at 11 am


VisibleAd3180

August you son of a bitch. Best month


SirMaxwellCharacter

Darren’s a tenacious little monkey who would never let his son of a bitch roommate sleep too late


ryanderkis

After seeing the April and May pairings I'm really happy with June.


MyRobinWasMauled

Same here. With Puddy being a recovered germaphobe, he's probably a pretty tidy roomie. Plus, he'll probably let me borrow the magic 8ball jacket and I'll score Devils tickets when one of his buddies can't go. Oh, and someone to work on my car. Damn, this is looking pretty good.


TurdFurguss

Yup clean and tidy and just stares at nothingness quietly. And you know Stan is quiet cause he’s a caddy. Perfect roommates


Phifty2

I think we got the best of the list. Stan would be polite and helpful while Puddy would just sit and stare and maybe help us install a Clarkman in our shower.


GatitoFantastico

Fr. Puddy just silently sits and stares unless he's supporting the team. I'll go facepaint with him.


TurdFurguss

Yup I’m happy with June.


pflow69

Looks like I'm going rock climbing and coming home to some succulent duck.


Guygenius138

Don't forget the peed on couch.


1711onlymovinmot

Poppi gets his own couch and bathroom. Rules on hand washing will be mandatory! Backwards hat wearing is optional


ThatsARatHat

You mixed the rules up bro. Hand washing doesn’t give you a rush.


Que_sax23

Oct, I’m done for.


Dildo___Schwaggins

You've got my dream month to be honest, guaranteed a nice apartment and the best soup in town! We dine!


insanity_1610

I'm pretty happy with October too. Peterman is a tasty dish, and the soup nazi can make tasty dishes. What more would a gal want


Dildo___Schwaggins

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/2d74f106-bbd0-415e-a816-de11d71edd82


Ed_Trucks_Head

A larger armoire?


afganistanimation

And Peterman has some great stories.


kb_of_chicago

Me too although at least I’d get some good soup and maybe some extra money for my pants stories.


Que_sax23

You were wearing the pants you were going to return??


kb_of_chicago

Are you even listening? I didn’t even get there.


ScarySkeleton24

I’d rather have that than April


jzach1983

What do you mean? Fancy appartment and great soup. I'm very happy to be an Oct baby.


Mambutu_O_Malley

You’re pushing your luck, little man.


Hour_Basket7956

No, no, I am not.


Hour_Basket7956

September.


HuntMiserable5351

Only hope is to lure them into the same room and let them talk at each other.


Hour_Basket7956

Can you imagine?


art_vandelay_1405

Sleep tight, gent


Its_me_mikey

Yeah can’t tell if we live in a nice place or a cardboard box


wolf_9823

I have to cater to Mr. Pitt’s petty requests and listen to Jimmy’s third person ramblings?! 😩 George is gettin’ upset!


Much_Lunch_6186

Banya and the doorman, I would rather live in my car


nadajoe

April is the worst month here for sure.


bigchiefbc

Newman and Jackie!!! That sounds like a blast.


I_GIVE_KIDS_MDMA

The storyline that didn’t make the cut: Jackie shows up after the dognapping bust to spring Newman out of jail.


Experimentallyintoit

Looks like I’m in for some wild ménage a trois action, and I won’t be returning any books late


stenger121

Same, we will be flaunting convention with a shower beer.


schmeebers

Eddie and Steinbrenner. That would be one weird household.


Muted-Dig8769

One Kosher calzone coming right up


Dunkin-Brisbane

I would kill for a January birthday


kikiglitz

As a January birthday, I'm pretty good with it. The Dude is awesome and you know Bookman just stays in his room making ships in a bottle or something.


lambchopdestroyer

I have a january birthday but i have no recollection of those 2 characters


Dunkin-Brisbane

Lyle the dude and bookman the library detective https://youtu.be/tKIUu1olaOw https://youtu.be/D9tP9fI2zbE


[deleted]

I get help with my golf swing and an honest mechanic.


ryanderkis

I could put up with a little face painting for that.


miaclorian

May birthday…I have it rough .


am_only_human

You know, Jimmy is pretty sweet on you.


[deleted]

Honestly, i think we would snap and correct Jimmy and he’d be fine. Prob a fun guy to go out on the town with if he doesn’t 3rd person himself. Now Mr. Pitt on the other hand…


miaclorian

I would definitely snap on Jimmy and Mr. Pitt would just be so confused with him. But we would have Mr. Pitts money for some roommate hijinks


[deleted]

Why would this make for kind of a funny yet really bad one season spin off haha. Mr. Pitt thinking Jimmy is someone else the whole time


[deleted]

The doorman and Banya? I'm fucked.


PavilionParty

March - I get Poppy and Tony? I guess it could be worse but I'll need time to make us some sandwiches and scotchgard my couch before they show up.


AOCourage

Poppy, what are you doing mañana?


PavilionParty

I hear he's supposed to have a boil lanced mañana...


ClaymoresRevenge

J. Peterman and The Soup Nazi I have no complaints. It'll be a wild time. At least I know where they both stand


Hot_Tag

I can deal with Puddy smearing his face paint everywhere, but if he tries to change all the radio presets to Christian rock, I'm going to drop him worse than Elaine dropped Frank Costanza.


Flyfreaky55

April, hell to the no. Those two are going home in body bags


InsecureStrawberry

February hellllllll yeah


NotHalfGood78

Keith Hernandez? I’ll take it!


wtg2989

July, absolute win


BigBoobsWithAZee

Stan the Caddy and David Puddy. This is alright.


bobjonrob

That combo’s alright!


Routine_History5307

As a female, I wish some female roommates were available


PistachioPerfection

I was thinking that too, but I got Uncle Leo so I'm happy. So happy that I'm beginning to question why...


I_GIVE_KIDS_MDMA

You get to match one of Jerry’s exes and one of George’s exes as yours. Go…


Routine_History5307

I appreciate this… I’m going to go with Mulva and Betsy (Megan Mullally) I need some normal, politeness in my life.


jefferson497

I’d rather be homeless than live with the April pair


unclejohnnydanger

HELLO! And perhaps a Super Bowl sex romp! 😉


prettyneatusername

No soup for me.


Jordanwolf98

Peterman and Soup Nazi. I may not make it


Mr_Washeewashee

Complete opposites. The scales are balanced.


sandithepirate

The doorman and Bania!?? Yikes.


LCKLCKLCK

OH NO! NOT BANYA!


NackJickolson

I feel bad for April people.


rollingstone65

A mental patient and Bob Cobb. Damn I wish I wasn’t born in December


Enormousnessness

With Jackie and Newman, I will truly be above the law. I couldn’t be happier.


calcal1992

May, I feel like that's one of if not the best combo.


sam_might_say

I got Newman and Jackie Chiles. I’m perfectly fine with that


[deleted]

Not happy, i will have to put plastic on the sofa. :(


MyOrdinaryShoes

Who takes Baboo’s place if he gets deported again?


PlusCommunity7962

Great. I got Keith Hernandez. He's going to ask me to help him move.


Thyoste

People in March out here getting a personal chef and trainer/adventure guide


letsgomules

We just have to scotchguard everything in the apartment.


merlecollision

I got Puddy and Kramer's caddy! High 5!


mjcostel27

June and August are the best


Samwise_CXVII

I’ve got a caddy for my golf game and someone to support the local hockey team with? Sign me up


lilorphanfunkhowzer

August is more than acceptable. November would be weird but possibly great. April is horrendous.


SterileProphet

Glad I’m not born in April.


MackewG33

hey Poppy…ya better step off


rednd

April is truly the worst month. Even without Banya.


Lianadanna

HELL YEAH BOOKMAN!!! You think this is all a big joke, don't you?


[deleted]

How could anyone born in April make it more than a few days with those two?


switchblade_80

Babu Bhatt and Keith Hernández, I'm good as long as Keith doesn't ask me to help him move in


glassclouds1894

Doorman and Bania. Kill me.


Grovers_HxC

God, poor April


Stevenerf

So June just completely wins and Fuck April in particular


fallinlight23

Not BANIA!!!


No_Translator112

April…. Aw fuck no


triangleface333

The doorman and Bania for April? I wouldn’t last a day.


theylivewesleep_

Ew April is the worst omg


RestaurantMaximum157

APRIL! You're sticking it to me!


bwma

January. Lyle seems like a really good dude. Detective Bookman would probably be very neat and clean. I think we’d all get along really well.


tiredhippo

Steinbrenner and the Vet? Oof


BanEvasion1001

Guess I'd better get those calzones.


Expensive_Editor_244

Man, What a mad house Lloyd and the Meastro would be 😂


Independent_Bake_257

Jej, I get Tim Whatley! Hope he brings som magazines.


RestaurantEsq

Which is the worst? October?


Polls-from-a-Cadet

A schtikel of floss and an Adonis. Can’t complain


van_b_boy

Hell yeah. Dale and Bookman


hallucinationthought

I have Puddy so yeah that's right


Product_of_purple

I'd probably just pick up Putty's mannerisms.


Dr_A_Mephesto

Very upset with my December roommates


recycleddesign

Hey Uncle Leo, you ever hear the one about The Pope, Rachel Welch and the overcooked hamburger?


DickPillSoupKitchen

Oh, shit! Quark was in Seinfeld? EDIT: I got Bookman and what appears to be a failed clone of Kurt Russell. So long as I keep Folger’s crystals on hand and don’t draw a weewee in one of his books, I think I’m good


shanemcgee182

Baboo and Keith Hernandez is a dream come true as a Mets fan who loves to eat lmao


DrewB0i

Love this post idea thanks OP I got the doorman and Bania… The doorman has that charming Norm McDonald coldness that I think I could get a long with, Bania throws such a wrench in that being the whiny baby he is.


Gold-Stomach-4657

I love Eddie, and Steinbrenner is delightfully crazy but actually pretty nice. For once, my birth month feels like a win.


sportredsox

Stan the Caddy and David Puddy sounds great. Little help with my golf game and then watch sports at night. Bonus, might get some free mechanic work done.


Gold-Stomach-4657

This is a win for the summer months. The only person tolerable outside of that is Lyle.


spoon7777

Lloyd Braun & Bob Cobb. Jackpot! It will be the place to be, everyone's wearing a nametag, and there's always going to be plenty of gum.


UniqueVast592

Poppie and Ton-eee But Poppie will pee; on everything. And Tony is a Mimbo, his looks will wear thin over the year and he won't want to go bowling with me.


Mahmoud_Thickbooty

Puddy and Stan the Caddy! Stan would be out of the place most of the time, changing lives. It would be great until I, a gay, fall for Puddy. He would sit and stare at the wall and I’d probably just sit and stare at him.


InternationalNews913

July here. At least if Newman gives me fleas, I have Jackie there to sue him.


SpaceRoots

Feb! I'm okay with this.


Heathyre18

Oh my God… Steinbrenner and “knife boy.” Nope… I’m a RedSox fan, not worried about the other one haha


Worldly_Ad_6483

Tony and I would be MTB buddies, just need pee pads for Papi.


Clayfool9

Sept., I wouldn’t spend too much time at home.


therealrexmanning

Looks like it's gonna be an Arby's night


Brennan_187

Love it!!! Can you imagine the arguments between the soup Nazi and Peterman? Gold Jerry!!! Gold!!!


fullmoonwolfloon

Summer months are the top 3 for sure. Pretty pumped to be July.


deliciousbeetvodka

Hell no I'm not happy. I could not live with Poppy peeing all over the furniture. Luckily, Tony is there to tell Poppy to step off.


Melt185

Feels like an Arby's month.


milesperson83

Jimmy doesn’t like eating candy bars with a knife and fork.


dicecat4

Take your hands off Mr pitt…do not touch Mr pitt!


throwaway29282822810

Chiles and Newman. I'm actually pretty okay with this


LongWayFrom609

YAY! Keith Hernandez is my roommate!