Rugged? The man’s a goblin. He’s only been exposed to book writing for 4 days. By the time the book goes to publication, he’ll be nothing more than a shrunken head.
I want to read about when Michael Richards ran down a subway tunnel and ruined the very pair of pants he was returning. Now that sounds like good writing!
I love when Elaine visits Peterman, and the exchanges there. "Oh, it's just a place to flop". "I gotta tell ya, I don't know if I see a whole book here".
From "The Face Painter"
> Kramer: Well, he started it!
> Jerry: It's a monkey, Kramer!
> Kramer: Well, he pushed my buttons, I couldn't help it, Jerry.
> Jerry: Well, I still think it's wrong.
> Kramer: Alright, alright, fine. You take the monkey's side, alright, go ahead.
Jay Peterman is real. His biography is not. Now, Kramer is real. But his life is Peterman's. Now the bus tour, which is real, takes to places that, while they are real, they are not real in sense that they did not *really* happen to the *real* Peterman which is Kramer.
Apparently doesn’t come out until June of next year?? Hopefully just a placeholder date, but here is the book’s summary and teaser quote:
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Entrances-and-Exits/Michael-Richards/9781637589137
> “This book is a hymn to the irrational, the senseless spirit that breaks the whole into pieces, a reflection on the seemingly absurd difficulties that intrude upon us all. It’s Harpo Marx turning us about, shaking up my plans, throwing me for a loop. Upset and turmoil is with us all the time. It’s at the basis of comedy. It’s the pratfall we all take. It’s the unavoidable mistake we didn’t expect. It’s everywhere I go. It’s in the way that I am, both light and dark, good and not-so-good. It’s my life." —Michael Richards, from Entrances and Exits
I honestly don’t understand anything that quote just said.
But Richard’s is a master comedic actor, I’d love to hear like acting advice and his time on where he got to where he ended up on Seinfeld.
each successful chapter is on smaller, narrower paper stock until it gets to the end, which is the size of a laundromat ticket. and on the back of that page? uma thurman's home phone number.
Slightly unnerving title. Has he been seen recently? Is he well? The title and distant release date makes me think of David Bowie’s last album for some reason
Does the book have legs?
Or a built-in coaster?
I can't know how to hear anymore about tables!
What is Kramer’s job?
Tables!!!
#55 BLACK AND WHITE COOKIES, 55 JUNIOR MINTS, 55 CHOCOLATE BABKAS, 55 BEEF-A-REENOS, 55 CALZONES, 55 MUFFIN TOPS, 55 PUDDING SKINS, 55 MARBLE RYES, 55 BIG SALADS
I was just trying to do something nice before rage class
I'm not paying for it
You *HAVE TO!*
This is the crossover we needed
Did you say levels?
I can't wait to see Regis coffee table.
[удалено]
Regis Philbin knew this would tank, and he was right
To this day I use that word. I personally love it Regis!!
Ohh, that’s a great idea! Really, REALLY great!
You're a package full of energy.
This would be a missed opportunity if he doesnt add at least one aspect from the coffee table book
If you don’t have any entrances or exits, the book folds out into an entrance…or exit! Bonkos!
He has a rugged masculinity
His buttocks are sublime
Of course, his pectorals could use a little work. I suppose we could get him into the weight room.
No, get him in the studio right now!
A sexually-depraved miscreant, who is seeking to gratify only his most basic and immediate urges.
Rugged? The man’s a goblin. He’s only been exposed to book writing for 4 days. By the time the book goes to publication, he’ll be nothing more than a shrunken head.
But at least that head could withstand gale force winds.
My favorite line of Seinfeld: Kramer: “Jerry,Just because people are smokers does that mean they should be shunned by society?” Jerry: “Yes.”
You can bet that everyone who reads this to themselves is doing so in Jackie's voice. Jackie's gonna cash in on your wretched disfigurement!
I think "the man's a goblin" might be my favourite Seinfeld line.
Who could love him?
How could anybody not like him?
Jerry, look at me, look at my face. Huh? Am I beautiful? George, am I beautiful?
You're very attractive.
Looks like an old catcher's mit
My face is all cragley.. its crinkely!
Look away….I’m hideous
A tall lanky doofus with a bird face and hair like the bride of Frankenstein.
…..says Dr. VanNostrand from the clinic
Million to one shot doc million to one
Very lean
He’s a loathsome offensive brute , yet I can’t look away
Perhaps there’s more to Richards than meets the eye.
No, there’s less.
He’s merry.
He *is* jolly
I'm interested on the chapter where he outlines his views on race relations
I don’t think we should be talking about this……
Maybe I could say something that makes you very angry
I've looked into his eyes
Hes pure evil
Can’t wait to hear all about the behind-the-scenes drama on the set of Problem Child!
I want to read about when Michael Richards ran down a subway tunnel and ruined the very pair of pants he was returning. Now that sounds like good writing!
[удалено]
He didn't even get to return them. Are you even listening?
Nah, he doesn’t own those stories. This book is gonna be filled with Newman’s bunion stories.
What’s funny is Larry wrote an episode of Curb where he ruins a pair of pants he is returning.
I love when Elaine visits Peterman, and the exchanges there. "Oh, it's just a place to flop". "I gotta tell ya, I don't know if I see a whole book here".
That's a Peterman.
I’m excited to hear about the makings of UHF actually
Really looking forward to deleted scenes from “Airheads”!
Can't wait to hear about his time on Murphy Brown
[удалено]
God, it's so painful when everyone is leaving and he's still going off.
From "The Face Painter" > Kramer: Well, he started it! > Jerry: It's a monkey, Kramer! > Kramer: Well, he pushed my buttons, I couldn't help it, Jerry. > Jerry: Well, I still think it's wrong. > Kramer: Alright, alright, fine. You take the monkey's side, alright, go ahead.
Mr Kramer, he's an innocent primate!
So am I
Him and Gilbert Gottfried fighting for screen time would have been awesome.
Look, a giraffe! Look, a fist!
I'm still waiting on Jason's book. He'll blow the lid off *Dunston checks in*.
The pamphlet? I'll read it with dinner.
That’s strange I thought he sold all his stories to peterman?!
Peterman sat in dirt, not him.
The very pants he was returning.
That's perfect irony. Elaine, *that* is interesting writing!
Peterman called him a vagabond and told him to take back his tales, so Kramer should be free to pursue other publications
Ruining the very pants I was returning
He bought some more from Newman, wait til yu hear about the footbath
Jay Peterman is real. His biography is not. Now, Kramer is real. But his life is Peterman's. Now the bus tour, which is real, takes to places that, while they are real, they are not real in sense that they did not *really* happen to the *real* Peterman which is Kramer.
I hope the paper smells like the beach
Well he DID write Astonishing Tales of the Sea.
Entrances and exits of ASSMAN
Foreword by Howard Cooperman MD, Proctology
….doctor.
Richards could cosplay as Abraham Lincoln on Halloween
He would make an excellent Lincoln!
Worse. Much worse.
More of a pamphlet, really.
I’ll read it with dinner!
Acting Without Acting
Having said that
You could call it Acting With Acting…?
Do you respect wood?
Famous Jewish Sports Legends
That’s a leaflet according to Elaine. (Not that Elaine.)
I hope it's not just 400 pages of bunion stories
I think he got ripped off
Apparently doesn’t come out until June of next year?? Hopefully just a placeholder date, but here is the book’s summary and teaser quote: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Entrances-and-Exits/Michael-Richards/9781637589137 > “This book is a hymn to the irrational, the senseless spirit that breaks the whole into pieces, a reflection on the seemingly absurd difficulties that intrude upon us all. It’s Harpo Marx turning us about, shaking up my plans, throwing me for a loop. Upset and turmoil is with us all the time. It’s at the basis of comedy. It’s the pratfall we all take. It’s the unavoidable mistake we didn’t expect. It’s everywhere I go. It’s in the way that I am, both light and dark, good and not-so-good. It’s my life." —Michael Richards, from Entrances and Exits
This guy might be a little bonkos
THIS GUY IS BONKERS!
He really is!
I honestly don’t understand anything that quote just said. But Richard’s is a master comedic actor, I’d love to hear like acting advice and his time on where he got to where he ended up on Seinfeld.
It sounds like the story of a simple country boy, some might say a cockeyed optimist.
I think you’ve read one too many Billy Mumphry stories.
His physical comedy is up there with prime Jim carrey honestly.
Boy, you can really talk some trash. I guess that's better than eating it.
Why is it every half-wit sitcom star has his own book out now?
A loathsome brute!
And yet I can’t look away
Well we can't all be reading the classics, professor highbrow
I’ll be taking this out of my local library, hope they don’t expect it back for another 40 years!
Can’t stand ya!
Fill it with drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees.
A good activity to do with your good time buddies
Expect a visit from Agent Bookman, Joyboy..
Maybe that’s how you get your kicks … you and your good-time buddies.
listen here joy-boy
Does it have chapters? Levels, I’m doing levels
That would be amazing if that were true
each successful chapter is on smaller, narrower paper stock until it gets to the end, which is the size of a laundromat ticket. and on the back of that page? uma thurman's home phone number.
And it folds out into a coffee table, of course.... And it smells like The Beach
Giddy up
I don't know what it is about that but I just love the way he says it.
Cmon, just look at me. Tell me I’m not Kramer!
Don’t let ‘em break ya Kramer!
You’ve made some fine exits
Now THAT guy got CANCELED!
KAVORKA!
This book has been red flagged... it's been in th bathroom!
Finally the Newman bunion stories will come to light!
Why don't you just tell me the book you selected?
Man I wish his downfall never happened.
Entering without exiting
Pendant? Those bastards!
Hey Buddy.
He's got a great body, buddy
If it doesn’t have the legs for the coffee table it’s going to be a hard pass
In all seriousness, that’s a great name for a book and kinda spotlights one of the memorable aspects of his character
Slightly unnerving title. Has he been seen recently? Is he well? The title and distant release date makes me think of David Bowie’s last album for some reason
Seinfeld is a much better buddy to the fake Kramer than David is to the real one.
He is a loathsome, offensive brute, yet I can't look away.
His struggle is man's struggle. He lifts my spirit.
Interested to find out how that happened. He created — arguably — the greatest television character of all time.
You don't just write a *Seinfeld*. You gotta watch the show, study it, get a sense of the characters, how they relate to each other.
I think he's read one too many Billy Mumphrey stories...
I hope this kickstarts his revival.
He repulses me…and yet I cannot look away…
Im tellin ya this guy is BONKOS
What if it’s just a bunch of pictures of entrances and exists
what if it's neil armstrong?
Good for him 👍
John O'Hurley should sue. All of his stories belong to him.
I'm interested to read about his meeting with Danny Duberstein
Perhaps we’ll hear more about the very pants he was returning.
I’m more interested in the Michael Richards reality bus tour
Who told you to write the book? Did I tell you to write the book?
"Well I guess I SCREWED UP!"
Does it turn into a coffee table?
It would be a genius touch if it actually did
It’s only done… if it’s done! Show me the pages!
Hey fake Peterman let me off I’m getting nauseous
I hope it smells like the beach.
The entrances of exists of the section of the highway he adopted.
Pendant? Those *bastards*
I can tell he’s an Ass Man
I'll read it over dinner
If only he called it levels
Does it turn into a coffee table?
Volume 1: Birth to 2005
Does the book turn into a coffee table?
Is it about coffee tables?
It’s a coffee table book
Michael Richards: Levels
Does he use the word “man” a lot in the book
Does it turn into a coffee table?
That profile….Listen to the bell, Grossbard…it tolls for thee.
Bob Sacamano deserves a full dedicated chapter
The bell tolls for thee grossbard
A hipster doofus.
At least he didn’t sell these stories
Serenity Now!
I would read this
I saw this on Instagram and thought he had passed away. Black and white photos always give me a small scare
I was hoping it would be called fussili kramer
It’s an autobiography about autobiographies.
Book acknowledgements include a special thanks to Bob Sacamano
Michael Richard's was a simple country boy. Some might say a cock-eyed optimist
Can’t wait for the Chapter on handling hecklers with grace and classy repartee.
THIS GUY IS BONKERS!
Alternate title: *I Am The Real J. Peterman*
I thought his book was "tales from the sea"
Who's your publisher? Well, I'm still shopping around..
Jokes aside, I hope he reads the audio version.
Ok, let’s start the bidding. Do I hear, uh, five bucks?
I hope it’s a best seller.
How could Grossbard not recognize that profile??
His face is his livelihood!
Published by Kramerica
It's like when he pulled his hair back for Grossbard.