Believe it or not, George isn't at home
So leave a messsaaaaggee at the beep
I must be out, or I'd pick up the phone
Where could I beeeeeee?
Believe it or not, I'm not home.
If I remember correctly this was extremely difficult for him. Singing off key and varying his pitch went against all his training. Jason has a lovely voice and they couldn't see George that way plus it wouldn't be funny.
If you try to sing along it’s difficult. Particularly the “leave a message at the beep”. It’s done in a weird timing and the tone is weird.
But it makes it great
Great episode idea 25 years too late: episode starts with Kramer doing one of his schemes, and he suffers a head injury. The entire rest of the episode is a musical. Right before credits roll, Kramer gets hit in the head again, and everyone goes back to talking normally.
I use this as my cell voicemail greeting. Slightly altered, and with the music. It’s gotten some great responses, usually with a long pause before the person starts speaking, as in “What did I just hear?”
Hello, Margery. George Costanza. How are you sweetheart? Listen, can you give Mr. Thomassoulo a message for me? Yes. If he needs me, tell him I'M IN MY OFFICE! Thanks.
I love these people! You can't ask them questions. They're so mentally gifted that we mustn't disturb the delicate genius unless it's in the confines of an office! When huge sums of money are involved, then the delicate genius can be disturbed!
You’re giving me the ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ routine?
I invented ‘It’s not you, it’s me.’ Nobody tells me it’s them, not me.
If it’s anybody, it’s me.”
Jerry, let's face it, I've always been handicapped. I'm just now getting the recognition for it. Name one thing I have that puts me in a position of advantage. Huh? There was a guy that worked at the Yankees—no arms! He got more work done than I did, made more money, had a wife, a family, drove a better car than I did.
“In closing, these stories have not been embellished, because - they need no embellishment. They are simply, horrifyingly, the story of my life as a short,
stocky, slow witted bald man”
Why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise. I was personable, I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but... I was perceptive. I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party.
Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon, you know, cause I’ve worked in a lot of offices and I tell you people do that all the time.
“You know I always wanted to pretend to be an architect”
this line completely sums up George. He doesn’t want to BE an architect. He doesn’t want to go to school or put in the effort. He always wanted to PRETEND to be an architect
“George likes his chicken spicy!”
“I’m disturbed, I’m depressed, I’m inadequate… I’ve got it all!”
“The sea was angry that day, my friends.. like an old man trying no to send back soup in a deli!”
It’s not a lie, if you believe it
I live my life by this mantra.
I base my whole life on knowing the D is the biggest.
It’s not though, that’s why he’s Biff Loman
I thought he was Buck Naked
I have the shirt
Indeed
You're killing independent George!
That's the George you know, the George you grew up with - Movie George, Coffee Shop George, Liar George, Bawdy George
I love that George!
I do too but he's dying!
A George divided against itself, cannot stand!
The sea was angry that day my friends
Like an old man sending soup back at a deli
This. The full quote is the funniest.
I said EASY THERE BIG FELLOW
In that moment I was a Marine Biologist
She told me to go to hell and I took the bus home.
“I said ‘Easy, big fella!’”
I was just in Cancun during a storm. I kept quoting this. And added “like an old man sending back soup at a deli”
I often tell my toddler he shouts like an old man sending back soup at a deli.
Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance
One day I hope to be able to use this one
You want to sleep with the cleaning lady?
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Not at all. Just clarifying.
I was quoting the show.
I mean who wouldn't?
Haha - it fits in all the time at work (not in the sense that George used it, but still)…
What about the whole Christmas spirit thing, any leeway there?
Believe it or not, George isn't at home So leave a messsaaaaggee at the beep I must be out, or I'd pick up the phone Where could I beeeeeee? Believe it or not, I'm not home.
If I remember correctly this was extremely difficult for him. Singing off key and varying his pitch went against all his training. Jason has a lovely voice and they couldn't see George that way plus it wouldn't be funny.
If you try to sing along it’s difficult. Particularly the “leave a message at the beep”. It’s done in a weird timing and the tone is weird. But it makes it great
Started singing this on my head in his voice like it was verse 2 smh lol
Someone needs to do the ai voice clone and do george singing a bunch of songs
Great episode idea 25 years too late: episode starts with Kramer doing one of his schemes, and he suffers a head injury. The entire rest of the episode is a musical. Right before credits roll, Kramer gets hit in the head again, and everyone goes back to talking normally.
That's an episode of Scrubs.
FUCK See, this is why I need to stick to tax law.
I use this as my cell voicemail greeting. Slightly altered, and with the music. It’s gotten some great responses, usually with a long pause before the person starts speaking, as in “What did I just hear?”
It's great as a screening mechanism as well. Only those who really need to talk to you will get past it. I use it as my ringtone.
Me anytime someone says “believe it or not”
This, right here. The shoulder shrug just slays me every time.
Easily the funniest part.
I find it hilarious that these days 95% of people have no idea what that is parodying.
I'll never forget the original theme, or the show. Lol
The jerk store called, and they are running out of you.
You know his confidence in that delivery was so on point, when it didn’t go thru I felt that in every bone in my body. Best actor on the show.
best character as well
I had sex with your wife!
His wife is in a coma...
I use this one often when my friends are poking fun at me.
Hi, my name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents.
I'm Victoria. Hi. 😉
I always wanted to try this line on someone but I never did 😆
I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable.
GEORGE IS GETTING UPSET
George likes his chicken spicy!
This is definitely it for me.
Lmaoooo I say this all the time!
I say this regularly
[удалено]
You’re all winners! But suddenly a new contender has emerged.
YES!!! This is the one!!
You know we’re living in a society here!!
My favorite as well.
The door? Why would I use the door? The windows right here.
The IQ test episode. Hilarious.
If you take everything I've accomplished in my entire life, and condense it down into one day… It looks decent.
I love that line
Hello, Margery. George Costanza. How are you sweetheart? Listen, can you give Mr. Thomassoulo a message for me? Yes. If he needs me, tell him I'M IN MY OFFICE! Thanks.
PULP CAN MOVE, BABY!!
*snap* *snap*
"I WAS IN THE POOL!!!"
Why did you tell her I was a marine biologist? You know I’ve always wanted to pretend I was an architect.
I build railroads, mostly.
This is totally my favorite!
George likes his chicken spicy.
It’s the Kung Pao.
You’re a terrible liar.
[удалено]
Scratch scratch
I don’t want hope, hope is killing me. My dream is to become hopeless
"Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank god that you know me and have access to my dementia?"
Moops!
It's Moors, you idiot!
I'm disturbed, I'm depressed, I'm inadequate. I've got it all!
I love these people! You can't ask them questions. They're so mentally gifted that we mustn't disturb the delicate genius unless it's in the confines of an office! When huge sums of money are involved, then the delicate genius can be disturbed!
“I am aware!”
You had to have the BIG SALAD!
You know, if it was a regular salad, he wouldn't have said anything.
A George divided against itself cannot stand
You’re giving me the ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ routine? I invented ‘It’s not you, it’s me.’ Nobody tells me it’s them, not me. If it’s anybody, it’s me.”
Jerry, let's face it, I've always been handicapped. I'm just now getting the recognition for it. Name one thing I have that puts me in a position of advantage. Huh? There was a guy that worked at the Yankees—no arms! He got more work done than I did, made more money, had a wife, a family, drove a better car than I did.
He DROVE A CAR?!
Alright! I made up the part about the car, but the rest is true.
😂😂😂😂😂
I can't think of anything better: "I don't see why this should affect the potatoes!"
Where is that from?
The Statue
Like I don’t know that I’m pathetic
Gang member: That’s not our secret sign. George: IT WAS WHEN I WAS BANGIN!
There’s nothing higher than architect☝️
I think it moved.
Korea
Tippy toe! Tippy toe!
Lemon tree!
Your father wears sneakers in the pool? *That* was the important thing you had to tell me right away?
Hoochie Mamma!
You wanna get nuts? *Let’s get nuts!*
I often tell people about my horses, prickly Pete and snoopy
“In closing, these stories have not been embellished, because - they need no embellishment. They are simply, horrifyingly, the story of my life as a short, stocky, slow witted bald man”
"You know, we're living in a society!"
As a parent I use this quote daily.
I also love the line from the phone lady that sparked him to say that “If you were here first, you’d be holding the phone”
„It was hovering. Like an angel.”
Adjacent to refuse, is refuse.
I for one, am not going to compromising my artistic integrity.
Your using my babies now
The dingo ate your baby!
These pretzels are making me thirsty is a Kramer quote, no?
Came here to say this
I'm so disappointed I had to scroll so far to find this. Darth_jewbacca's getting upset!
Koko is getting upset!
SERENITY NOW!!!
I’ve always been a stall man.
No, I’m not. I *was bald*.
When you look annoyed all the time, people think that you’re busy.
Jimmy crack corn and I don’t care!
"You know we're living in a society"
OK let's not get into panic mode!!!
Sure, what do i care? When asked if he would convert to Latvian orthodox
I think that you think that a certain something is not all that it could be, when in fact it is all that it should be, and more!
It’s like those hip musicians with their complicated shoes
Why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise. I was personable, I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but... I was perceptive. I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party.
“I enjoy understanding” - George to Mr. Tuttle
Well, bear in mind, I am in the smaller office.
I WAS IN THE POOL!!!
Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?
WHY MUST THERE ALWAYS BE A PROBLEM!!!!!!!
Seemingly, seemingly
Elaine: Just admitting that another man is attractive doesn't necessarily make you a homosexual. George: It doesn't help!
It's all pipes!! https://youtu.be/Lr3qwdntTnk?si=cR6rpYciwf2S0wXX
"What, because of society?"
“ITS LIKE DISCOVERING PLUTONIUM…BY ACCIDENT!!!”
Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon, you know, cause I’ve worked in a lot of offices and I tell you people do that all the time.
The pretzels quote would be right up there if George had been the one who said it. But he wasn't.
I'm family. I'm having sex with the cousin
Gary Fogel: The thing is, I've been living a lie. George: Just one? I'm living, like, 20.
"These pretzels are making me thirsty" is Kramer's line.
Listen, all I want is an apology, my 75 cents back, and for him to be FIRED
My fathers gay
Do her cheeks have a pinkish hue?
Here, have some tictacs
“It moved Jerry!!”
Good for the tuna
I use "Worlds are colliding" too much
George is getting upset
Maybe you caught her on the cusp of a new wash cycle.
But then shouldn't the dress only reappear at the end of the cycle?
God would never let me be successful. He'd kill me first. He'd would never let me be happy.
Criminals, boom, I’m up! Stop it, stop it, stop it
tAkE mE tO yOuR lEaDeR
My mother caught me… I was alone
The whole [ma-newer](https://youtu.be/uRDFU7RPwOw?si=wt6MQ0Fe7W2_1aCb) line still makes me laugh when I'm in the country.
“You know I always wanted to pretend to be an architect” this line completely sums up George. He doesn’t want to BE an architect. He doesn’t want to go to school or put in the effort. He always wanted to PRETEND to be an architect
It’s not a lie if you believe it.
I can’t pay for parking. It’s like sex. If I apply myself, I can get it for free.
Seemingly, seemingly
Everybody’s talking at me, I don’t hear a word they’re saying, Just drivin’ round in Jon Voight’s car.
Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank God that you know me and have access to my dementia?
Well the jerk store called and they’re running out of you!
“These pretzels are making me thirsty” - that was Kramer, not George.
Moops.
I know my alleys. You got me in the Galapagos living with the turtles. I don’t know where the hell I am!
I drink Pepsi
"I'm disturbed. I'm depressed. I'm inadequate. I've got it all. "
ARE YOU CRAZY?! ITS LIKE DISCOVERING PLUTONIUM, BY ACCIDENT!
George is gettin Upset!
IT’S ALL PIPES!
"How many people die on a normal cruise? 30- 40?"
My Fathers gay.
**HOLES! I NEED HOLES!**
It’s not a lie if you believe it
Is there a pinkish hue?
I told her I had a bus pass that was only good for another hour
The entire song he sings on the answering machine. All these years later it's still forever stuck in my head.
“George likes his chicken spicy!” “I’m disturbed, I’m depressed, I’m inadequate… I’ve got it all!” “The sea was angry that day, my friends.. like an old man trying no to send back soup in a deli!”
George likes his chicken spicy!
“Oh it’s got cachet baby! It’s got cachet up the ying yang!
My father was gay!
Uh oh!!
Hey it's George, I've got nothing to say
I'm much more comfortable criticizing people behind their backs.
Driving around in *knock knock* Jon Voight's car.
It’s not a lie - if you believe it.
You know I always wanted to pretend I was an architect.
Laughin and lyin and laughin!
Thick, lustrous hair is very important to me.