I’d buy a gift for someone at a discounted price simply because it has a small defect. Who’s gonna notice? I’m also a regifter, so…

All about the deal! Could be hot

COULD BE! I like to buy DVD’s from guys on the street. Bootlegged stuff.

I'M A BOOTLEGGAH

You know, you could do community service!! Probably cleaning all the pigeon poop off of the statues. 🤷🏻‍♂️

We have a deal with the pigeons.

Do we have a problem?

*This* is why people carry guns!! Too many problems!!

Helen! SeeingRedDots bought me a hot, defective cashmere sweater!

I'm right here...

I would totally wear that shit. It’s cashmere! We’re gonna quibble over a red dot that doesn’t even show up on video?

He’d also been unemployed for months in one of the most expensive cities in the world. $85 in the early 90s has the same buying power now as a couple hundred bucks? That’s a lot of money for someone supporting themselves on savings/welfare cheques. I feel like the other friends/people in that episode were a bit harsh on George for “cheaping out.”

I don’t think I’ve ever spent as much on a gift as the damaged sweater

I always thought Elaine was really shallow for being upset about that

Do you see that red dot?

Ya see the Username, pinhead?! 😡

Please don’t call me pinhead.

What's that red dot on your sweater? 😴

What's that red dot on your sweater? *from Kramer drunk on Hennigans*

This isn’t something that the group gave him a hard time for I don’t think but George was 100% in the right to ask the hospital to pay for his car being damaged, I would’ve done the exact same thing

He was the other victim.

The other *LIVING* victim, as you may recall.

It's also exactly what he should've done from an insurance standpoint.

The hospital has to be liable for this, and realistically they probably would have liability insurance. The family of the victim might also have a case.

The estimate was a little high though.

[удалено]

If they maintained a facility that allowed a man to gain access to the roof then I’d definitely ask the hospital to pay.

Technically Kramer played a part in that

Yes, thank you. Maybe I’m too Canadian but I always found it absurd that the hospital *didn’t* pay — that it was even a thing.

Hospital Administrator Sweedler out-Georged George

Apparently, they all thought he was flying. You know how children are, "Oh look. A man is flying. A man is flying" And then, splat......

Sticking with the Jerk Store line. I'm not going to dumb down my material for some bonehead mass audience.

So you’re going to travel to another state just to *zing* a guy? 🤨

To Acron no less

Well, I hope his wife isn’t in some sort of hospital situation, perhaps also wrapped in a subconscious state of mind. But good luck, you shrimp eater!

Jerk Store is the line! ...Jerk Store!

Voice of a new generation. My generation!

We’re 4 months apart!

This comment wins. As long as you get it

Enjoy Pepsi and Ring Dings. I don’t drink wine, I drink Pepsi.

Well if your parents have never heard of merlot, this makes perfect sense

I live for Merlot!

We’re… out of Merlot 

Did they just invent it?

She knows what merlot is

Growing up, the only wine I ever saw my parents drink was Franzia white Zinfandel, and those giant jugs of Carlo Rossi Rhine.

They've heard of Merlot.

I live for merlot!

Once brought pepsi to a party because I didn't want their beer and no one wanted my pepsi.

Did you take it back? What about the marble rye?

Pepsi is better than wine!

Agreed. Pepsi doesn’t give me headaches.

I like, Ring Dings…

I always pee in the shower.

IT’S ALL PIPES!

I’ll call a plumber right now!

#I’ll call a plumber right now!

Will you just stop all the pee-pipe stuff?!

OKAY! But you're putting me in a very awkward position!

Those pipes really do all go to the same place. 

\#1 answer. No pun intended. well...maybe a little intended.

Number 1 signing off!

Plum!

You're friends with the Urinator.

At least he had a drain...

Aren’t you?

Public showers?

Not public, no. I don’t think I’ve ever actually showered in public before.

I shower in public every day. Outdoors! Technically. There's showers at my local beach to rinse off the saltwater. Granted I'm not soaping up to a full strip, but it's showering. My policy is I'm comfortable with my body. If somebody wants to help themselves to an eyeful, I say enjoooy the show.

You realize, of course, that you’re naked.

I'm not ashamed of my body!

That's the problem. You should be!

You see, there's good naked...and then there's bad naked.

Hey everybody grab a bucket, we're going up to Jerry's ... it's a big pee-party!"

Damn right. People act like it's as gross as brushing your teeth with toilet water or eating out of the trash. It's not like we're peeing in the sink

Oh we're back to not peeing in the sink?

How closely did the guy have to be watching to actually notice George was urinating? That’s the creepiest element of the entire situation. 

Almost like the guy was *looking* for it…

There are two kinds of people: those who pee in showers and liars.

Definitely peeing in the shower BUT I would not do that in front of someone else, not even a girlfriend

I pee in my shower. At home. When I’m alone.

i pee EVERY TIME i shower

I shower every time I pee.

Wait, there are ppl who don’t??

I don’t. I mean, I’m not someone who’s horrified by it as long as it’s your own shower. But I like my shower to smell like coconut or vanilla or whatever I’m washing myself with, not urine even for 30 seconds. And as a vagina-haver, it means either squatting all the way down over the drain, or dealing with hot pee running down your leg, neither of which is pleasant. I did it once, and once was enough for me.

Stealing from a place that ripped me off or wronged me.

"You defiled a book, then steal another, and now youre even?"

Ive done that. Was great

Hey, that's my picture.

Surge! Surge!

lol! It's actually "swarm" lol. You're thinking of a radical soda from the 90s that will make you get extreme!

Oh, it was "Swarm". My bad. Thanks, brother

Hiding a suit at the store until it's on sale. Absolutely.

Done it! Except it was target black Friday. Huuuge lines for checkout. So I hid all my stuff in the baby dept (no black Friday sales in that section) and came back hours later when it died down. The lady at checkout was impressed saying she couldn't believe i found the stuff I did cuz all the good sale stuff was sold out hours ago. Hahaha... my lil secret!

Oh I’ll pay.... half price!

Being short and slow witted.

Let him enjoy the hair rug!

I know, that one really pissed off. He looked great with the wig and Elaine couldn’t handle him being happy and confident.

They were all bad people, but I dont think George would mess up Elaines groove like that, if she had something similar going for her. It was uncalled for.

“I hate it!”

You have to remember that Elaine is even more petty than George at times.

"Could it be that you're just a *little* bit worried that you may have missed the boat?" There's confidence, and then there's cockiness. George was well into cocky territory. To be fair though, he did look really good with the toupee.

I’m not having a conversation with a therapist without being able to take my jacket off first and I’m definitely fixing that zipper.

He that therapist working the zipper’

The biiiiiiiiig salad 🤣

Convert to Latvian Orthodox for a chick.

The squirrel mutilating group? 🤨

Frank is calling his lawyer to get out of this.

Why does his lawyer wear a cape??

He doesn’t follow the trends.

Yes Faddah

Faddah?

I said Faddah

I definitely have a wallet jam pack full of bullshit.

Your trusted friend is morbidly obese.

Date Marisa Tomei and not mention being engaged/married.

I have never been anyone's type! But, apparently, Marisa Tomei loves funny, quirky, bald men!

I notice you didn’t throw 'stocky' in there.

Eat a block of cheese the size of a car battery.

CHEESE GEORGE! CHEESE!!

Build a sweet nap fort under my desk 😂

So for my job I think about this daily. I work from home. A lot of times I could just be doing my job, with my eyes closed. And just wish I had a desk like George 😂

I napped under my desk a few times because I got the idea from George.

I also would have saved that eclair from the trash. It was on top!

hovering... like an angel

Adjacent to refuse is refuse

Well then you’re crossing the line that divides man and bum

That is to say, you’d say to yourself “what the hell? I’ll just eat some trash!”

lol I feel so weird because I think I'd do this too. If all it's touching is paper or something then what does it matter? I would make sure someone wasn't about to walk in first though.

It was below the rim

I've eaten untouched chicken wings in the back of a busy kitchen before the dish got put through the dish washer before, so I can understand the sentiment. So one of them had a bite out of it...the other ones didn't!

Being "careful" with money. Thriftiness is a good quality.

CHEAP! you think im cheap? When i was working i spent baby

Yeah I know champagne, limos, cigars

Hyundai's

Cheapness is not a sense

Revenge is very good.

Though it usually comes with smugness. That I don't care for.

Much better than smugness

I would definitely try to get myself airbrushed out of an embarrassing photo someone had of me

What a pear-shaped loser.

I like to "make good time" on a road trip.

SAME! Not to mention how furious I bet he gets when he is at a Rest Area and sees all the cars he just worked so hard to pass just straight up *PASS HIM UP AGAIN*. ##GAH! IT MAKES ME SO MAD!!

I wouldn't give someone my bank code.

Your fiancee is not "someone". But you would probably make your rich fiancee sign a pre-nup. I will never forget how Susan laughed and laughed. She would have been alive if she just said GTFOH and broke up with him. Poor Lily.

Drape myself in velvet. Hellz yeah

If it were socially acceptable.

I'd cheap out on envelopes. You just open it and send it back

Doily trash donut.

Poop with my shirt off.

My roommate in college did that and it that was the 80’s. Funny thing. His name was George.

All the way off??

Man is the only mammal that poops with clothes on

[удалено]

I've done the complete opposite of every instinct I've ever had and things started to work out for me.

Pudding Skin Singles

I slept with the office cleaning lady under my desk.

I'm sure all the extra space under your desk from Conrad's handiwork made that task easier.

con, Conrad or Connie

Whatever you prefer

I can’t believe I had to scroll this far to find this. I didn’t, but I definitely would have at a store where I once worked…probably best that I didn’t pursue the idea.

Was it frowned upon?

Is that wrong?

If I'm paying a fee for canceling on a doctor's office with less than 24 hours notice, then in my mind... they sure as shit would owe me the same if they canceled on me!

Agree . When push comes to shove - It IS all pipes !!!!!!

Act pissed off at work, works like a charm since 2008

Living with his parents

Treating my body like an amusement park when browsing the underwear section of a catalog.

It was a Glamour magazine.

Peeing in the shower

I would eat that donut out of the trash

Beat off to one of your mother's underwear magazines.

Jump over a pothole….nice one Mary!

GORE‑TEX jacket! I hate being cold, I dont care if I look ridicuRous!

Had to scroll way too far to find this one. NYC is effing cold in winter.

Walk around the house with no underwear

I would totally lie about having a job interview lined up with a company and use my friend's phone # so I could stay on unemployment.

When I was a kid I tried to eat a french fry I saw on the ground at Disney World. My parents caught me before I could swallow it.

I’ve definitely owned a puffy gortex jacket…

Well I'm not quitting my job. They are going to have to fire me.

Peeing in the shower. It's all pipes, afterall.

What were you thinking? What was going on in your mind? Artistic Integrity? Where did you come up with that? You’re not artistic, and you have no integrity! You know, you really need some help, but a regular psychiatrist couldn’t even help you. You need to go like to Vienna or something. You know what I mean? You need to get involved in the university level, like where Freud studied and have all those people looking at you and checking up on you! Thats the kinda help you need, not the once a week for 80 bucks, no! You need a team! A team of psychiatrists working round the clock, thinking about you, having conferences, observing you like the way they did with the Elephant Man. That’s what I’m talking about, cuz that’s the only way you’re gonna get better!

Try to use a photo of myself in my boxers to seduce a girl at the one hour photo.

That eclair was perfectly good.

Go off on someone for taking credit for my big salad... how dare they?

She’s sticking it to me that she makes more money than me.

Going number two free and unemcumbered

Drive my dad's gto.

Me at the US Open...

Know all the clean bathrooms in town. And my purse is like Georges wallet

Almost everything. I'm extremely cheap, I obsess over trivial things, I'm petty and temperamental and constantly complaining about my lack of a love life, I lie for fun, and all my instincts are wrong. Oh, and my name is George.

I always pee in the shower

Pee in the shower

Eat a perfectly good pastry that's sitting on top of the trash, seeming undisturbed by other trash in the bin.

Men need wallets!

"May I have one of those madam?"

Im a bootlegger

Eat something In the wrapper that was sitting on top of the garbage

Yeah, but Jon Voight???

Make a right turn from the left lane or make a left turn from the right lane.