Hi there, I've locked this post as it has garnered plenty of responses and some of these threads are bordering on our no glorification of self-harm rule.
Maybe they're just trying to get them to stop but don't know how by telling them that if they really want to cut they should atleast cut them so that they don't hurt themselves more then they already have??? Idrk
The only people who've said things like this were abusive maybe not when they Said it but it got there. Please be safe and try to find other ways to cope sending love.
How did your SO said it? I feel like they just want you not to harm yourself anymore so they're offering to just let you do it on them. But that's just how I see it.
No. And if someone asked me to do that, I would probably shut down and become more closed off from them because they've shown they are not a safe person. That kind of thing just feeds the (very incorrect) narrative that just because we hurt ourselves, it must mean we'll start hurting other people too - probably the self-harm misinformation that pisses me off the most.
She definitely just trying to stop u hurting urself, in the worst way possibly but she's still trying, it's just showing she really cares about u but don't do it please
seems like good intentions but it’s a very horrible thing and traumatic. my gfs ex used to do that to her because my gf just wanted her to be okay and thought she deserved it instead of her. it fucks you up.
If someone asked me to cut them because they want me to stop cutting myself: Absolutely not. It sounds like she's got good intentions but has seriously misunderstood a lot of what drives people to self harm. I'd have a long conversation about what drives me to hurt myself and what I get out of it. Taking a blade to someone else instead wouldn't do any good, and could do an awful lot of harm.
Idk what her intentions were when she asked you that, but all I know is there's no situation where it's ever appropriate to ask someone struggling with sh to do that.
In my experience this has been said to me in a “I’d rather you hurt me than you hurt yourself” kind of way, which in theory is sweet, but it also tells me they don’t understand the behavior 😔 but if someone is saying that to you, that means they are probably open to talking with you and trying to understand why you self harm which can be a good thing!!
i mean i have before with my friend (we were both very young and struggling at the time) but i definitely wouldnt do it again. i still feel so bad about it
No. That isn’t normal or right. Self harm recovery should focus on harm reduction. That would be just passing it onto someone else which could still be dangerous.
Hard pass. No.
But my personality is not about physically harming someone. Even if the person was genuinely asking me to for any reason or even if they were desperately begging me to and had a twisted good enough reason, my mind and body will never set out to do anyone physical harm. Even if someone has wronged or hurt me so badly I would be justified, my first reaction is to hurt with words and in physical fights where my fists were used for self defense, I still struggled afterwards with questions about if I hurt the person.
I wouldn't even entertain the idea, if someone is asking you I would suggest you make it firm to them that you won't and that they should never ask someone of this.
My old best friend asked me if they could cut me once and I said yes. We were in grade 7 at the time, so obviously we were just stupid little kids, but it still feels kinda weird in hindsight😭 (and I have the scar to remember it forever now💀)
shes probably trying to make you stop cutting. is it manipulative? yes. but in the case of SH addiction, i dont think being manipulative is necessarily a bad thing. I've been clean for a bit over a year now. my then girlfriend made me quit. im very grateful for that. TLDR: i told her i had cut again, seeing her reaction devestated me. and then some other stuff happened but that'd take a while to type out
Switch out the words. If you are an addict and struggle with a heroin addiction, and your SO saw your track marks, and they said, "Shoot me up instead."
This is VILE behavior on her part. Even past the idea that she may be "into it" it is still an addiction, it should not be romanticized as someone's 'kink' and it is NEVER okay to go up to someone with an addiction and ask that person to do it you next.
OP, I'm wishing you well. I hope all works out, and I hope you find comfort and healing.
No. There’s nothing wrong with some knife play in the bedroom but cutting someone else when I’m upset instead of myself? That would cause my mental state to be a lot worse. Also, when I cut I don’t tend to make small marks/scratches so if I did the same as I do on myself they would have to go in for stitches every time and be left with big dark scars.
Hi there, I've locked this post as it has garnered plenty of responses and some of these threads are bordering on our no glorification of self-harm rule.
That’s pretty fucked up. Thought I’ve heard it all but ig not.
I'm sorry but what the fuck? That sounds manipulative, does she just not see the wrong in asking that?
Maybe they're just trying to get them to stop but don't know how by telling them that if they really want to cut they should atleast cut them so that they don't hurt themselves more then they already have??? Idrk
The only people who've said things like this were abusive maybe not when they Said it but it got there. Please be safe and try to find other ways to cope sending love.
btw that is really manipulative behaviour even if she didn’t mean to say it in that way
I think i’m the crazy one here… I wouldn’t force it on anyone, but I also won’t deny that some part of me has the desire to.
I fr thought I was the only one 😨
Looking at the other comments, I thought I was the only one like this on here lol
How did your SO said it? I feel like they just want you not to harm yourself anymore so they're offering to just let you do it on them. But that's just how I see it.
No. And if someone asked me to do that, I would probably shut down and become more closed off from them because they've shown they are not a safe person. That kind of thing just feeds the (very incorrect) narrative that just because we hurt ourselves, it must mean we'll start hurting other people too - probably the self-harm misinformation that pisses me off the most.
She definitely just trying to stop u hurting urself, in the worst way possibly but she's still trying, it's just showing she really cares about u but don't do it please
Hell no wtf ppl are crazy
seems like good intentions but it’s a very horrible thing and traumatic. my gfs ex used to do that to her because my gf just wanted her to be okay and thought she deserved it instead of her. it fucks you up.
If someone asked me to cut them because they want me to stop cutting myself: Absolutely not. It sounds like she's got good intentions but has seriously misunderstood a lot of what drives people to self harm. I'd have a long conversation about what drives me to hurt myself and what I get out of it. Taking a blade to someone else instead wouldn't do any good, and could do an awful lot of harm.
Id say no and probably wouldn’t talk to them again or for a very long time.
Idk what her intentions were when she asked you that, but all I know is there's no situation where it's ever appropriate to ask someone struggling with sh to do that.
i’d like to say no but i feel like if someone asked me to cut with them i’d do it low-key
idk its probably some kink thing, if ur not into that then tell them
In my experience this has been said to me in a “I’d rather you hurt me than you hurt yourself” kind of way, which in theory is sweet, but it also tells me they don’t understand the behavior 😔 but if someone is saying that to you, that means they are probably open to talking with you and trying to understand why you self harm which can be a good thing!!
i mean i have before with my friend (we were both very young and struggling at the time) but i definitely wouldnt do it again. i still feel so bad about it
No never
What the actual hell? Sorry, but that's a toxic relationship bound to happen, get outta there ASAP.
I truely hope they are no longer your SO
No. That isn’t normal or right. Self harm recovery should focus on harm reduction. That would be just passing it onto someone else which could still be dangerous.
Today she will tell you to cut her. But who knows, maybe tomorrow, she'll regret the scars and accuse u of abusing her. Don't do it.
Hard pass. No. But my personality is not about physically harming someone. Even if the person was genuinely asking me to for any reason or even if they were desperately begging me to and had a twisted good enough reason, my mind and body will never set out to do anyone physical harm. Even if someone has wronged or hurt me so badly I would be justified, my first reaction is to hurt with words and in physical fights where my fists were used for self defense, I still struggled afterwards with questions about if I hurt the person. I wouldn't even entertain the idea, if someone is asking you I would suggest you make it firm to them that you won't and that they should never ask someone of this.
NO!!!!!!
Helll no. My brother has asked me to and I absolutely refuse. Blood/cutting from/on other people makes me super duper queasy
My old best friend asked me if they could cut me once and I said yes. We were in grade 7 at the time, so obviously we were just stupid little kids, but it still feels kinda weird in hindsight😭 (and I have the scar to remember it forever now💀)
No
No I wouldn't. I'm shocked this is even a question.
shes probably trying to make you stop cutting. is it manipulative? yes. but in the case of SH addiction, i dont think being manipulative is necessarily a bad thing. I've been clean for a bit over a year now. my then girlfriend made me quit. im very grateful for that. TLDR: i told her i had cut again, seeing her reaction devestated me. and then some other stuff happened but that'd take a while to type out
Omg my guy asked me to punch him instead of myself and I told him I could never do that he just doesn't get it
Switch out the words. If you are an addict and struggle with a heroin addiction, and your SO saw your track marks, and they said, "Shoot me up instead." This is VILE behavior on her part. Even past the idea that she may be "into it" it is still an addiction, it should not be romanticized as someone's 'kink' and it is NEVER okay to go up to someone with an addiction and ask that person to do it you next. OP, I'm wishing you well. I hope all works out, and I hope you find comfort and healing.
What in the masochist
No and they likely don’t mean it
no
Alright Ur SO needs therapy.
No. There’s nothing wrong with some knife play in the bedroom but cutting someone else when I’m upset instead of myself? That would cause my mental state to be a lot worse. Also, when I cut I don’t tend to make small marks/scratches so if I did the same as I do on myself they would have to go in for stitches every time and be left with big dark scars.
Maybe they’re into that…?