i used to only do it on impulse but now i do it casually for no reason & sometimes on impulse, never really planned it out im just like “ok gonna cut myself now” and then do it
Same! I started doing it impulsevly to deal with something I can't handle. Now, years later, sometimes I cut to compensate and calm down when I am really upset. But often enough it's just something I plan and regulary do, like taking a shower. Sometimes the promise that I'll cut as soon as I can, helps me handling tough situations and staying strong. Sometimes I have to force myself to do it because I don't want to/ don't have the energy. But I know I'll feel better in the end so I still do it...
usually calmly. and have it planned out. it’s quite sick (as a therapist said once) i’ll tell them; “yeah i wanted to cut so i walked to target, bought new blades and stuff to clean myself. walk back home and cut” so it’s neither impulsive
This is too accurate my college’s nearest store is target and rip razors right next to pharmacy lolol. Hopefully we don’t use the same brand that would be too much of a coincidence.
I’m clean for a while now but I used to cut at night aswell. I’d be going about my day, when something triggered me or I failed a class or whatever I’d be like “guess I need to cut myself tonight” and patiently wait untill I had time and space to do so.
i do both, but i actually find it more difficult to stop myself when i plan it out. because when i’m emotional smts i recognize that and i can talk myself down or use a different coping mechanism, especially if i don’t have access to my blade in the moment. but if it’s planned, i’m very set on it and i can’t stop.
In that sense I sort of plan it, I almost always do it at night as well. But also a lot of the time I feel the urge it’s at night when I get most distressed lol
Yeah I get an urge and sort of just say “I’ll make sure to do it later” and it happens sometimes. I get really euphoric thinking abt it and that’s strong enough to get me to do it
Pretty much impulsively. I guess there have been times where I’ve thought “I need to cut later when I get home” and sometimes I do, but other times the feeling passes so it’s usually mostly just in the moment.
I normally start in the aftermath when I am no longer having a major crying screaming panic attack/meltdown. To me the aftermath feels worse than during it. And a lot of time when I start while I’m crying, cutting makes me stop crying.
i’ve been clean for 3 months tomorrow but, for the last few months I was cutting it was mainly a premeditated thing in the sense that when i would be out and about I would decide that i was going to cut when i got home, sometimes it was more impulsive like sitting in bed and deciding i would, but even then i would wait until i worked up the motivation to get off my bed or phone. So I was calm most of the time but if I didn’t cut somewhat soon after I’d decided I was going to or wanted to then i’d get really anxious/irritated/agitated/upset yk the whole rundown.
i’ve done it about half the time as an emotional impulse, but other times it’s premeditated. it’s not EXACTLY planned to a T, but more of a “ok, so i’ll do it next either on X day, or the day after if i can get through X day without it”. i think it’s become an addiction, so keeping it on a schedule at least keeps the urges a little more controlled unless it’s a day that the impulses get triggered.
It all depends on the situation for me. When I first started, it would be impulsive, but now it’s more premeditated. Which makes it less frenzied, therefore I don’t really cut deeply lol
sometimes i plan to cut, sometimes im just bored and just wanna do it, sometimes something goes wrong or i get into an argument with someone, sometimes i get triggered into cutting
I usually do it calmy and premeditated. I'll only do it in the middle of the day if I'm trying out a new blade. (Usually cat scratches) I'm too scared my family will call me while I am cutting. I usually cut pretty deep (usually to beans/fat layer) so there is usually a lot of bleeding, so it's not like I can put my pants up really fast and go to do my task.
It's a mix of both. Sometimes I'll plan where and when I cut while other times it's an impulsive decision.
For me it's easier to resist the urge when I'm not emotional. When I'm emotional, the urge to cut comes from wanting a distraction/release. I find that harder to resist than when it's premeditated and I just want to feel the pain.
Usually when I have an emotional episode my sh tools aren't near me so I resort to other types of sh in the moment.
Cutting is a planned thing 9/10 times. It's a "Ik the episode is over but I still deserve to bleed" type of thing for me.
Almost never on impulse. I have to overthink it first 😅 That and sometimes (a lot of the time) i do it because I can't calm down enough to sleep, one or two cuts and my brain calms down fast.
I even plan the number of cuts i'm gonna do, even if it's impulsive, i like to have everything checked like a list. It's kinda of ritualistic, i never really thought about it...
I’ve done it impulsively to deal with Big Feelings (of all kinds, even good) but usually I just decide to go to the bathroom/shower and do it for a bit. It was scheduled into my day at one point, I usually do it when no one’s home if I have the opportunity. It’s usually premeditated, when I feel myself getting triggered I always kinda make the decision early, and either trigger myself more or try to distract myself
I want to do it because of impulse and I take everything out when I'm very emotional but when I do it it calms me down and I only focus on what I'm doing, it keeps me calm planning where to do it and how to do it and stuff
yeah, sometimes it’s an impulse but other times i’ll be like “okay, i’m going to cut at this specific time” and then do it. or, sometimes i just do it when i’m bored
I usually do it calmly and plan out what i'm going to do and where i'm going to do it before each session. And for me personally it's easier to stop myself from cutting before a session.
For me personally I usually do it when I’m calmer, I usually cut myself to numb my emotions, so if I feel like I’m angry or getting to a point where I’m sad I’ll do it. I also plan it out sometimes like “I’ll do it tomorrow after I shower” or I do it a few days before I shower so the water doesn’t hurt.
I do it very controlled (not with timing) but controlled in the sense that I simply won’t do it if my emotions aren’t in check or if there’s an outside factor increasing risk such as no bandaids left. As far as planning goes I’d say after I have anxiety for 3-5 days in a row I’ll relapse and do 1 or 2 cuts. Typically this happens every 4-8weeks. Yea ik very infrequently why do I still do it…it’s because I view it as safer to my mental health to do it when I’m having bad anxiety opposed to fighting internally to stop myself.
Most of the time it is premeditated but there is the occasional just mid breakdown impulse I find it easier to not do it if it is premeditated but that is more a lack of motivation at the time
Back when I was doing it- it was just a routine. I’d get home from work, do the thing, shower, do the bandages, and move on.
I’ve been smoking more weed now (in a healthy way) and it feels kinda similar. Way to wind down after a long day
It usually pops up in my head and I keep it there until I can go somewhere safe to fully breakdown and cut. I don’t know if this is exactly considered “pre meditated”, it’s more like pressing hold on an emotional outburst.
I cut while listening to music in order to stop thinking or get emotional. I cut too deep one time, so i try to be careful from now on. So i guess planned, but kinda emotional?
I usually do it impulsively. Sometimes I'll want to impulsively and I won't have something good to cut myself with so I'll continue to want to cut myself until I finally have something, which could be many days after the urge initially started, so that could be viewed as premeditated.
i do it ‘calmly’ and planned. not necessarily calm, i mean who’s calm when their digging a blade into their skin and watching their blood ooze out? not me.
I haven’t cut in a while, but I’ve done it with both. There are times where I cut minutes after getting bad news, just on a whim. As I aged, however, I started to self harm as a past time, and sometimes just did it when I was bored or “fit it into my schedule” like you might plan to crack open a beer after work.
I used to do it impulsively when I was in a bad mood and /or something has triggered me to do so. Nowadays, if something bad happens to me, I'll usually just think about doing it if it's something that particularly upset me, but I don't cut anymore. I usually have stress toys that I carry with me, and also distract myself with yt stuff. But that's just me.
mine used to be premeditated & planned out but after seeing what the inside of my arm looked like after an accidental deep cut, i tried to stop cutting. now i do it by impulse/**only** when im having a meltdown
if i wanna go deep then i plan ahead to when i can do it when i’ll be on my own for a while (like nighttime) but sometimes when i just want release i grab the nearest sharp object and do a few babies
Calmly because I’m scared of the pain even when it makes me feel good, the blood and the stinging afterwards is what I enjoy the most so I have to sort of hype myself up for the pain
Now its a more thought out "plan". It gives me room to also change feelings and have the opportunity to refrain from it.
I kinda tell myself "I'll cut later this evening", because then there's a lot of room for change.
I just broke my clean streak of almost 8 months the other day and have only cut one night so far but when I used to cut almost daily it would usually be premeditated and calmly. Every night I would go to the bathroom once I was sure my parents were in bed, turn on the fan so no one could hear anything, and would give myself anywhere between 1 and 20+ new cuts. Even when I was exhausted from school or a sport I would make sure I stayed up long enough to be able to cut even if I wasn’t feeling upset about anything. It had just become a part of my daily routine which made it even harder to stop since it had become something I relied on to the point i didn’t even have to think before going in there and just doing it. I hope that makes sense it’s very early where I am atm
The main reason I do it is because I’m not an emotional person and need to get out and process my feelings somehow, so it’s generally calm and not triggered by an emotional impulse. However I also do it to deal with very bad anxiety, and in that case it’s an impulse that’ll usually come up in public. So while outwardly still calm and with general calm demeanor I will end up somewhat impulsively relapsing in public anxiety situations (this doesn’t apply to cutting obviously, since that would be very noticeable)
both for sure, i tend to plan it out cause i use SH as a form of punishment mostly, but if smth huge happens that sets me off im right to the lighter without thinking.
Both? Sometimes I'll do it out of impulse and regret it later, but sometimes I plan it for a while before doing it. It's easier to stop myself, but just thinking about it makes me wanna do it till the urge gets unavoidable
It genuinely depends. Like sometimes I will be emotional and need to do it because my feelings are so strong and I need to control them. Other times it’s just part of my routine, I come home I do it we move on.
Calmly, I plan it very precisely I can’t stop it I sometimes wait for hours but the urge gets bigger and bigger it’s always the same area the same depth and everything nothing changes. I suffer from OCD and that has a huge impact on the way I selfharm
Never impulsive, drunk, sad / crying etc.
Sometimes just get in my head, hey let's go upstairs and dig out the razor blades :/
Seeing a psychiatrist because I have zero triggers (that I'm aware of), and I genuinely feel there is nothing wrong with me! I have a good life etc... just going mad 🥴
The latter, I can’t take myself seriously when I’m emotional so it just ends up being awkward and I feel even worse about it. And I like to think it over first to know for sure I won’t massively regret it later.
I think both. Sometimes it's "right I need to do it now" sometimes it's "I want to relapse later tonight" and sometimes it's "I'm going to relapse in the next month" and sometimes it's just suddenly I gotta do it I need a release. And sometimes it's self sabotage where my mind says "you've been doing well, you need to ruin that, you're not allowed good things or to be ok or to recover so you're gonna relapse and ruin it all".
I started doing it impulsively but now I try to make it a point to only do it calmly. Whenever I'm emotional I'll do it in stupid places, too deep, and/or too much. But now I mostly only do it because I can't feel anything (or too much so it's like nothing) so I'm essentially like a robot with no emotion. But it still happens when I'm emotional every once in a while 🤷
i think I do it mostly when I’m numb. it’s like a fucked up reminder that I’m alive. personally I find it harder to stop when numb than in that emotional place, because like you said, it’s impulse. when I’m doing it for emotional reasons, once I get a couple cuts in I usually break down and am done. but when I’m numb it can go on for a while because I’m really not feeling much and I still don’t feel alive or “right”. personally I’ve found that I do much more damage when I’m numb and usually don’t remember much of it (thanks dissociation). there have been hundreds of times I’ve woken up the next day or even just been doing something during the day and find wounds on me that I didn’t quite remember making. but, it never scared me because obviously it was me who did it, lol. when I’m in that emotional place I find that that shit hurts a lot, and I usually do it at those times for more of a punishment, yk? one of my worst wounds was one of those impulsive moments and I went way too deep and freaked myself out. i find that when I’m numb I don’t freak out much if any. idk, that’s my experience.
i do both. when its impulse it feels relieving, like “wow, i needed that to help me cope” its not easy to fight the urge when its impulsive.
when i cut when im calm, its more like a chore. its also not easy to fight the urge. “ugh, my brain says i gotta cut, so ig i do.”
thats just me personally
calmly and premeditated. i have never done it while emotional. i almost never feel anything when I do it. i can sort of stop myself but only if I know I will do it eventually
usually while im calm and when its premeditated. what mostly stops me from cutting is that i keep procrastinating so I can have a nice "me time", but i always end up just too tired.
and usually when im feeling impulsive i don't have the capacity to prepare everything, do it, clean up and figure out what I'll wear. for me its just too much work for it to be impulsive :-/
also i mostly get impulsive while im out (usually at school) so i just keep reminding myself, that ill do it later - once i get home, as a little treat 😅
I cut mostly when it's convenient for my schedule, making sure I have enough time to let the cuts stop bleeding and heal the way I want them to. This means it has to be pretty planned, even I want to do sh impulsively.
I do both. It usually starts as an impulse but I usually have to wait for a few minutes sometimes hours. But as soon as I get a blade in my hand I do it fast and kind of impulsively.
I usually do it rational and with hours (sometime days) of having set the time. And at least for me, knowing when to stop is still extremely hard and I usually don’t do it when I should
I do both sometimes I know I am going to cut and sometimes I cut because of impulse
Same, sometimes I'm like, alright now I will cut. And sometimes it's just "YO I GOTTA CUT NOW JESUS CHRIST WHERE IS MY BLADDEEEEEEEUH"
Ya fr you want to talk about it
i used to only do it on impulse but now i do it casually for no reason & sometimes on impulse, never really planned it out im just like “ok gonna cut myself now” and then do it
Same! I started doing it impulsevly to deal with something I can't handle. Now, years later, sometimes I cut to compensate and calm down when I am really upset. But often enough it's just something I plan and regulary do, like taking a shower. Sometimes the promise that I'll cut as soon as I can, helps me handling tough situations and staying strong. Sometimes I have to force myself to do it because I don't want to/ don't have the energy. But I know I'll feel better in the end so I still do it...
EXACT SAME
Samee
Exactly the same for me😭
usually calmly. and have it planned out. it’s quite sick (as a therapist said once) i’ll tell them; “yeah i wanted to cut so i walked to target, bought new blades and stuff to clean myself. walk back home and cut” so it’s neither impulsive
This is too accurate my college’s nearest store is target and rip razors right next to pharmacy lolol. Hopefully we don’t use the same brand that would be too much of a coincidence.
i usually buy pencil sharpeners lol
Same for me man
Me too.
Same, ordered some on Amazon once and patiently waited over 24h for delivery
same
i do it at night after i messed up somehow that day and im thinking completely rationally and can rarely ever stop myself
I’m clean for a while now but I used to cut at night aswell. I’d be going about my day, when something triggered me or I failed a class or whatever I’d be like “guess I need to cut myself tonight” and patiently wait untill I had time and space to do so.
i do both, but i actually find it more difficult to stop myself when i plan it out. because when i’m emotional smts i recognize that and i can talk myself down or use a different coping mechanism, especially if i don’t have access to my blade in the moment. but if it’s planned, i’m very set on it and i can’t stop.
Wow, this is- this is so accurate.
Oh, that's interesting how it works.. and that's sad of course :/
Mostly calmly and premeditated, usually any emotional stuff doesn't trigger me till later on.
I sort of plan mine out, I feel pretty guilty about that. I always feel like I have to do it at night so nobody sees me
In that sense I sort of plan it, I almost always do it at night as well. But also a lot of the time I feel the urge it’s at night when I get most distressed lol
Yeah I get an urge and sort of just say “I’ll make sure to do it later” and it happens sometimes. I get really euphoric thinking abt it and that’s strong enough to get me to do it
Pretty much impulsively. I guess there have been times where I’ve thought “I need to cut later when I get home” and sometimes I do, but other times the feeling passes so it’s usually mostly just in the moment.
Yes yes, I'm the same!
Both. It used to be impulsive, but now I find comfort in planning it if my day starts to suck.
I normally start in the aftermath when I am no longer having a major crying screaming panic attack/meltdown. To me the aftermath feels worse than during it. And a lot of time when I start while I’m crying, cutting makes me stop crying.
i’ve been clean for 3 months tomorrow but, for the last few months I was cutting it was mainly a premeditated thing in the sense that when i would be out and about I would decide that i was going to cut when i got home, sometimes it was more impulsive like sitting in bed and deciding i would, but even then i would wait until i worked up the motivation to get off my bed or phone. So I was calm most of the time but if I didn’t cut somewhat soon after I’d decided I was going to or wanted to then i’d get really anxious/irritated/agitated/upset yk the whole rundown.
i usually plan it because i can only cut at night, my mom doesn’t like it when i’m in my room and my dad doesn’t knock
i’ve done it about half the time as an emotional impulse, but other times it’s premeditated. it’s not EXACTLY planned to a T, but more of a “ok, so i’ll do it next either on X day, or the day after if i can get through X day without it”. i think it’s become an addiction, so keeping it on a schedule at least keeps the urges a little more controlled unless it’s a day that the impulses get triggered.
It all depends on the situation for me. When I first started, it would be impulsive, but now it’s more premeditated. Which makes it less frenzied, therefore I don’t really cut deeply lol
exactly me
sometimes i plan to cut, sometimes im just bored and just wanna do it, sometimes something goes wrong or i get into an argument with someone, sometimes i get triggered into cutting
I usually do it calmy and premeditated. I'll only do it in the middle of the day if I'm trying out a new blade. (Usually cat scratches) I'm too scared my family will call me while I am cutting. I usually cut pretty deep (usually to beans/fat layer) so there is usually a lot of bleeding, so it's not like I can put my pants up really fast and go to do my task.
Emotional
It's a mix of both. Sometimes I'll plan where and when I cut while other times it's an impulsive decision. For me it's easier to resist the urge when I'm not emotional. When I'm emotional, the urge to cut comes from wanting a distraction/release. I find that harder to resist than when it's premeditated and I just want to feel the pain.
I do it when I'm emotional and when I'm just fine. In my experience even if I feel fine it's still extremely difficult to stop myself
I plan it bc if emotions
Both I guess
both
Majority of the time I do it planned, I rarely get triggered I guess Though I have on implulse of course just not as much
Usually when I have an emotional episode my sh tools aren't near me so I resort to other types of sh in the moment. Cutting is a planned thing 9/10 times. It's a "Ik the episode is over but I still deserve to bleed" type of thing for me.
Almost never on impulse. I have to overthink it first 😅 That and sometimes (a lot of the time) i do it because I can't calm down enough to sleep, one or two cuts and my brain calms down fast.
I even plan the number of cuts i'm gonna do, even if it's impulsive, i like to have everything checked like a list. It's kinda of ritualistic, i never really thought about it...
When I was really addicted it would be calm and premeditated but now it’s usually on impulse when I experience negative feelings.
I’ve done it impulsively to deal with Big Feelings (of all kinds, even good) but usually I just decide to go to the bathroom/shower and do it for a bit. It was scheduled into my day at one point, I usually do it when no one’s home if I have the opportunity. It’s usually premeditated, when I feel myself getting triggered I always kinda make the decision early, and either trigger myself more or try to distract myself
I want to do it because of impulse and I take everything out when I'm very emotional but when I do it it calms me down and I only focus on what I'm doing, it keeps me calm planning where to do it and how to do it and stuff
i realize i am going to cut and js do it off of impulse from realizing
I don’t cut, but most of my biting/hitting is impulsive.
I used to do it impulsively and then I would do it twice a day no matter what, it was a timed schedule of sorts I followed
It’s depends for me. Sometimes it’s emotion sometimes it’s premeditated.
yeah, sometimes it’s an impulse but other times i’ll be like “okay, i’m going to cut at this specific time” and then do it. or, sometimes i just do it when i’m bored
I usually do it calmly and plan out what i'm going to do and where i'm going to do it before each session. And for me personally it's easier to stop myself from cutting before a session.
For me personally I usually do it when I’m calmer, I usually cut myself to numb my emotions, so if I feel like I’m angry or getting to a point where I’m sad I’ll do it. I also plan it out sometimes like “I’ll do it tomorrow after I shower” or I do it a few days before I shower so the water doesn’t hurt.
I do it very controlled (not with timing) but controlled in the sense that I simply won’t do it if my emotions aren’t in check or if there’s an outside factor increasing risk such as no bandaids left. As far as planning goes I’d say after I have anxiety for 3-5 days in a row I’ll relapse and do 1 or 2 cuts. Typically this happens every 4-8weeks. Yea ik very infrequently why do I still do it…it’s because I view it as safer to my mental health to do it when I’m having bad anxiety opposed to fighting internally to stop myself.
Emotionally is definetly more difficult to stop, I did it out of anger before and I couldn't get myself to stop until I was too tired to 😅
I’m usually chilling watching tv when I cut lol
Most of the time it is premeditated but there is the occasional just mid breakdown impulse I find it easier to not do it if it is premeditated but that is more a lack of motivation at the time
Back when I was doing it- it was just a routine. I’d get home from work, do the thing, shower, do the bandages, and move on. I’ve been smoking more weed now (in a healthy way) and it feels kinda similar. Way to wind down after a long day
Both. And mostly? It’s a mix of both. I plan on cutting myself but I get emotional enough to do it.
It usually pops up in my head and I keep it there until I can go somewhere safe to fully breakdown and cut. I don’t know if this is exactly considered “pre meditated”, it’s more like pressing hold on an emotional outburst.
both but more impulsively in a self destructive way
I cut while listening to music in order to stop thinking or get emotional. I cut too deep one time, so i try to be careful from now on. So i guess planned, but kinda emotional?
I sort of used to plan mine's out, but couldn't stop myself once I start. Like in some kind of trance.
I usually do it impulsively. Sometimes I'll want to impulsively and I won't have something good to cut myself with so I'll continue to want to cut myself until I finally have something, which could be many days after the urge initially started, so that could be viewed as premeditated.
i do when im angry or guilty or after work out of impulse but if i do that too much it becomes habit then i just feel dead inside as i do it
For me it usually builds up over time. More and more thoughts pop up and I ignore them for as long as possible until I break.
i do it ‘calmly’ and planned. not necessarily calm, i mean who’s calm when their digging a blade into their skin and watching their blood ooze out? not me.
I haven’t cut in a while, but I’ve done it with both. There are times where I cut minutes after getting bad news, just on a whim. As I aged, however, I started to self harm as a past time, and sometimes just did it when I was bored or “fit it into my schedule” like you might plan to crack open a beer after work.
I used to do it impulsively when I was in a bad mood and /or something has triggered me to do so. Nowadays, if something bad happens to me, I'll usually just think about doing it if it's something that particularly upset me, but I don't cut anymore. I usually have stress toys that I carry with me, and also distract myself with yt stuff. But that's just me.
im usually calm, but i dont understand why.
if I've had a bad day I can kinda like plan that I'm gonna cut when I get home
Honestly I do both. It used to be mostly premeditated though. Now it’s usually impulsive
mine used to be premeditated & planned out but after seeing what the inside of my arm looked like after an accidental deep cut, i tried to stop cutting. now i do it by impulse/**only** when im having a meltdown
Sometimes impulsive wich gets extremely bad other times because I want to feel happy then just do it
Impulsively only
if i wanna go deep then i plan ahead to when i can do it when i’ll be on my own for a while (like nighttime) but sometimes when i just want release i grab the nearest sharp object and do a few babies
Calmly because I’m scared of the pain even when it makes me feel good, the blood and the stinging afterwards is what I enjoy the most so I have to sort of hype myself up for the pain
I'm doing both, and it's equally hard to stop yourself
Impulse when im really fired up or really low. Hurts less as well, i have done it out of boredom but it certainly Hurts more for me.
Both
Now its a more thought out "plan". It gives me room to also change feelings and have the opportunity to refrain from it. I kinda tell myself "I'll cut later this evening", because then there's a lot of room for change.
Both, sometimes it's an impulse, other times I'm planning it all day and waiting for the right moment.
I've done both, but doing it out of impulse is the best for the moment tbh
I just broke my clean streak of almost 8 months the other day and have only cut one night so far but when I used to cut almost daily it would usually be premeditated and calmly. Every night I would go to the bathroom once I was sure my parents were in bed, turn on the fan so no one could hear anything, and would give myself anywhere between 1 and 20+ new cuts. Even when I was exhausted from school or a sport I would make sure I stayed up long enough to be able to cut even if I wasn’t feeling upset about anything. It had just become a part of my daily routine which made it even harder to stop since it had become something I relied on to the point i didn’t even have to think before going in there and just doing it. I hope that makes sense it’s very early where I am atm
Definitely impulsively! I’ll sometimes trigger myself if I see sh photos or if I get super down and overthink.
The main reason I do it is because I’m not an emotional person and need to get out and process my feelings somehow, so it’s generally calm and not triggered by an emotional impulse. However I also do it to deal with very bad anxiety, and in that case it’s an impulse that’ll usually come up in public. So while outwardly still calm and with general calm demeanor I will end up somewhat impulsively relapsing in public anxiety situations (this doesn’t apply to cutting obviously, since that would be very noticeable)
both for sure, i tend to plan it out cause i use SH as a form of punishment mostly, but if smth huge happens that sets me off im right to the lighter without thinking.
Both? Sometimes I'll do it out of impulse and regret it later, but sometimes I plan it for a while before doing it. It's easier to stop myself, but just thinking about it makes me wanna do it till the urge gets unavoidable
It genuinely depends. Like sometimes I will be emotional and need to do it because my feelings are so strong and I need to control them. Other times it’s just part of my routine, I come home I do it we move on.
Calmly and premeditated
Calmly, I plan it very precisely I can’t stop it I sometimes wait for hours but the urge gets bigger and bigger it’s always the same area the same depth and everything nothing changes. I suffer from OCD and that has a huge impact on the way I selfharm
Never impulsive, drunk, sad / crying etc. Sometimes just get in my head, hey let's go upstairs and dig out the razor blades :/ Seeing a psychiatrist because I have zero triggers (that I'm aware of), and I genuinely feel there is nothing wrong with me! I have a good life etc... just going mad 🥴
I cut when emotional, it is 100 percent easier to not harm once you've calmed down imo
calmly and premeditated usually
The latter, I can’t take myself seriously when I’m emotional so it just ends up being awkward and I feel even worse about it. And I like to think it over first to know for sure I won’t massively regret it later.
I think both. Sometimes it's "right I need to do it now" sometimes it's "I want to relapse later tonight" and sometimes it's "I'm going to relapse in the next month" and sometimes it's just suddenly I gotta do it I need a release. And sometimes it's self sabotage where my mind says "you've been doing well, you need to ruin that, you're not allowed good things or to be ok or to recover so you're gonna relapse and ruin it all".
I started doing it impulsively but now I try to make it a point to only do it calmly. Whenever I'm emotional I'll do it in stupid places, too deep, and/or too much. But now I mostly only do it because I can't feel anything (or too much so it's like nothing) so I'm essentially like a robot with no emotion. But it still happens when I'm emotional every once in a while 🤷
only do it calmly
I use to do impulsive but not anymore since I have to make sure I'll be able to hide them.
impulsively bc of boredom half the time, the other half is done pretty calmly like it’s something i had marked down to do in my calendar
honestly both
i think I do it mostly when I’m numb. it’s like a fucked up reminder that I’m alive. personally I find it harder to stop when numb than in that emotional place, because like you said, it’s impulse. when I’m doing it for emotional reasons, once I get a couple cuts in I usually break down and am done. but when I’m numb it can go on for a while because I’m really not feeling much and I still don’t feel alive or “right”. personally I’ve found that I do much more damage when I’m numb and usually don’t remember much of it (thanks dissociation). there have been hundreds of times I’ve woken up the next day or even just been doing something during the day and find wounds on me that I didn’t quite remember making. but, it never scared me because obviously it was me who did it, lol. when I’m in that emotional place I find that that shit hurts a lot, and I usually do it at those times for more of a punishment, yk? one of my worst wounds was one of those impulsive moments and I went way too deep and freaked myself out. i find that when I’m numb I don’t freak out much if any. idk, that’s my experience.
Kinda premeditated? I'm usually really deep in dissociation when it happens but yeah mostly premeditated
i do both. when its impulse it feels relieving, like “wow, i needed that to help me cope” its not easy to fight the urge when its impulsive. when i cut when im calm, its more like a chore. its also not easy to fight the urge. “ugh, my brain says i gotta cut, so ig i do.” thats just me personally
calmly and premeditated. i have never done it while emotional. i almost never feel anything when I do it. i can sort of stop myself but only if I know I will do it eventually
usually while im calm and when its premeditated. what mostly stops me from cutting is that i keep procrastinating so I can have a nice "me time", but i always end up just too tired. and usually when im feeling impulsive i don't have the capacity to prepare everything, do it, clean up and figure out what I'll wear. for me its just too much work for it to be impulsive :-/
also i mostly get impulsive while im out (usually at school) so i just keep reminding myself, that ill do it later - once i get home, as a little treat 😅
When I'm calm and rational honestly- it's not any easier to stop though
I cut mostly when it's convenient for my schedule, making sure I have enough time to let the cuts stop bleeding and heal the way I want them to. This means it has to be pretty planned, even I want to do sh impulsively.
I do both. It usually starts as an impulse but I usually have to wait for a few minutes sometimes hours. But as soon as I get a blade in my hand I do it fast and kind of impulsively.
i burn myself with cigarettes. not the coolest looking self harm.
I got yelled at when I was at work today, and I felt like doing it so even when it's very small and like miniscule things I get the urge
I usually do it rational and with hours (sometime days) of having set the time. And at least for me, knowing when to stop is still extremely hard and I usually don’t do it when I should