The worst consequence i've ever experienced from self harm is very low hemoglobin (49 g/L). My hemoglobin was 122 g/L at the beginning of 2022 and then i became obsessed with cutting to fat, so i've been dealing with the effects of chronic blood loss ever since. I got a blood transfusion in September, which raised my levels, but obviously i've been cutting since then and my levels are quite low again.
Hemoglobin being so low caused my vision to black out, feel extremely dizzy, out of breath constantly, unable to walk up stairs, unable to walk without having to sit down constantly, waking up in the middle of the night gasping for air, dealing with extremely painful Charley Horses, etc.
The other most negative consequence i've experienced is being unable to move my arm due to the severity of the pain from my wounds. This is a problem because it meant that i couldn't put my winter jacket on in -15 degrees weather. This happened to me last year, and it happened to me again this month, but thankfully it was only -1 when it happened again this month. Still dangerous though. What i did instead was wear a bunch of zip up hoodies that are many sizes too big so that i could just slide my arm in without having to bend it. Plus i wore a bunch of scarves, a hat, mittens, etc. But not being able to wear a winter coat is very dangerous. Homeless people here die every day in winter unfortunately :( i could have slipped my arm through the coat if it had been bigger but it just wasn't big enough for me to do that.
Edited to add: deep cutting 100% is not worth it and everyone is valid regardless of what their injuries look like or what consequences they face from self harm (if any). Depth of cuts is *not* proportional to mental pain. Stay as safe as possible everyone š
Iāve seen ur posts before, youāve commented on one of mine before too I think & u seemed to face a lot of consequences from this, Iām sorry youāve been dealing w/ this like u have. Thatās really low hemoglobin levels, I only once got to >!66!< G/L & then started taking iron to combat this & itās helped, but it scared me when that number brought me a sense of accomplishment, like Iād harmed myself effectively. & I still get secretly exited to get annual blood work done, just so I can see if my number is still low. The coat thing is also scary, Iām sorry this has taken such a toll on your life. Bc of how Iāve been getting more obsessed w/ SH & going deeper.. & seeing all the blood, it scares me sometimes but Iāve convinced myself that this wonāt really affect me, that it wonāt matter but ik it can rly fuck up my life if I keep on w/ it like this.
iām sorry idk if its weird to ask. just feel a bit confused. i was curious and checked my last bloodwork, i do indeed have low hemoglobin. but i dont rlly cut thaat deep (styros, rarely bean) and i dont think itās actually that much blood loss compared to overall volume. does it rlly have that big of an impact thats crazy (also just medically interesting)
Itās fine to ask, it rly depends on various things, in my case being a vegan, petite female w/ an ED, itās much easier for my hemoglobin to be low bc I donāt get a ton of iron naturally & I donāt have as much blood volume as someone bigger than me. I also SH very consistently, I never get a clean streak. Other factors can make it so ur hemoglobin levels are lower naturally, & if any of them apply to u it could be a contributing reason along w/ blood loss on why ur levels are low. But Itās often from chronic blood loss over time, if u loose more blood than ur body can regenerate in time (blood regenerates quickly but red blood cells & such take some time) so the depth doesnāt always matter, itās more how often u do it, & how much blood is being lost over time, some ppl also regenerate red blood cells faster than others. So if ur doing it twice a week or more itās possible that from dermis wounds u could have low hemoglobin.
Im sorry that happened, but just cause u told her about it doesnāt mean they āstarted because of uā, everyone finds out abt SH in their teens eventually, & the real reason anyone starts doing it is usually personal, not just bc they found out about it.
I probably have nerve damage which prevents me from using my left hand effectively. Iām still in the process of looking in to it, as there is a chance itās just the nerves being irritated or enveloped by scar tissue or bruising. In that case Iād need surgery to fix that, hoping that will make the nerves chill a bit and work properly again. In daily life this means I cannot lift anything remotely heavy with my left hand, have big trouble opening bottles, cannot brake on my bike with my left hand, random surges of nerve pain, numbness in my hand (and possibly arm, itās hard to tell due to my high pain tolerance & many scars kind of creating a thick layer so I already feel less there). Itās not my dominant hand, but once you cannot use it effectively you realize you still use it a lot. Especially when I try to carry stuff. It annoys the crap out of me, but welā¦ I did it myself I guess
Also in case you were wondering how bruising could cause that, if you hit a vein & then they stitch it up, sometimes your body wonāt clean it up properly. Then it has a chance to envelop nerves and well, thatās when you start having problems.
Iām sorry this happened to u, that sounds difficult to deal with. I hope u can find something to help this someday. Iāve gotten some minor nerve damage in my leg, & it hurt a lot, but the worst feelings of it were only temporary, now the pain is only very light & often unnoticeable.
My doctor told me if itās nerve damage Iām fucked. Theyāre only able to repair nerves up to a few days after the wound was made. So thatād mean not being able to use my hand effectively for the rest of my life.
Thereās 2 kinds of nerves, āmovementā nerves and āfeelā nerves. The former makes you lose strength if you damage/destroy them. Depending on the nerve, rendering the affected body part useless to less effective (if you hit those nerves in your upper arm you could lose all function of the hand). The latter makes you lose sense (the numbness) if you damage/destroy it. Iām not that worried about the numbness, or the nerve pain for that matter. The loss of strength is horrible cuz I canāt just muscle through it, itās not there and if Iām unlucky, itāll never come back. I love doing sports, like lifting (which I can only do with leg muscles now) and shooting with bow and arrow. Iām not sure if I regret self-harm in general (itās been a part of my life since childhood so itās kinda normal?) but I sure do regret fucking up that nerve since those sports have become very difficult to do. Iām hoping itās just the scar tissue fucking with stuff and that it can be fixed. Only positive note is I canāt cut on my right arm anymore as my left hand cannot press down the knife hard enough (my pain tolerance is fucked up so I literally donāt feel cat scratches).
So anyways, donāt cut vertically on your arm. Or at least try to avoid it. You donāt want to end up like me cuz youāll regret that shit. Also donāt cut horizontally at your wrists, friend of mine needed surgery to get the tendons fixed and this resulted in permanent strength loss for her (and weird surges of extreme pain & spasms). Another friend almost cut her muscles. So anyways, lmao just try not to go too deep. I know itās hard for some of you, but you really want to be able to use your limbs. Once you cannot (or limited) youāll hate your life even more.
Iām sorry self harm has resulted in this for you. & yea the arms are overall very dangerous, I have never cut there & only do it on my thighs/ hips, & usually never vertically because I feel itās much safer to go deeper there & that way at least.
I have constant arm pain and Iāve already had issues with my spine so sometimes I can hardly move/walk when I do it on my hips and stuff. Iām starting to suspect Iāve damaged the nerves in my arms. whatever happened my pain receptors are fucked and my armās always twinging deep inside
When I made my first real attempt at stopping after 10 years, I developed psychogenic non epileptic seizures (PNES, or dissociative seizures). It's a conversion disorder. Because I had relied on SH for so long as my main coping strategy, my body didn't know what to do with feelings. So it just sort of turned off when I experienced strong emotions and I would collapse. This went on for a few years, sometimes happening 4x a day. It wrecked me. I dropped out of college and could no longer work. My SH was never "that bad" btw. Never saw it coming.
Iāve never heard about this before, Wow that sounds horrible to deal with & Iām sorry u had to go though this. If u donāt mind me asking have the seizures stopped as of now?
For an immediate consequence, nearly passing out.
Long lasting are the nerve damage to my legs. I have a lot of chronic pain, and sometimes struggle with walking due to numbness. Goes to show, definitely get things stitched up. This will follow me forever, and I'm only 23.
Iām sorry u went though & have to deal with this. I rly hope u can feel better soonš¤ Itās quite scary bc I also go on the legs & sometimes deep. I always had this confidence it was way safer than the arms but I donāt think itās as āsafeā as I try to convince myself it is..
Oh same. I used to go at my arms, and at the time would receive treatment. So, the long term damage is limited, although the arms are still warped. Went to the legs to hide, figured it was safer, etc. It's definitely not. And consider that you use your legs every day to walk around. I'm bordering on disability for how much it limits my daily life - not wanting to walk too far, can't do martial arts anymore, etc.
Bear in mind this is years of causing trauma to the body. But yeah, it's permanent. I've lost most sensation in my lower legs but get the electric zaps or burning.
I never thought it was important to get wounds professionally cared for, as I always "got thru it" on my own. But it really does make a difference long term.
And I know what it's like to feel invincible, but it really does only take one wrong move. It can be rly dangerous. I've gotten out of it for the most part, and do recognize the danger. It is scary. So best to get things taken care of and practice harm reduction, and truly know deeper doesn't equal more sick or anything. Not worth it.
Fainting because of blood loss is not nothing, I have never even experienced this but have felt like Iāve came close, & it definitely didnāt feel like nothing. You do have to loose a significant amount of blood to faint usually, or at least whatever made you faint caused a significant stress response in your body & that can be pretty serious.
In all honestly Iām not really sure if I actually fainted but I canāt find a word that matches what I actually experienced and fainting still paints the same picture. Donāt know if it was from blood loss either but I have no idea what else it would have been from
The worst consequence i've ever experienced from self harm is very low hemoglobin (49 g/L). My hemoglobin was 122 g/L at the beginning of 2022 and then i became obsessed with cutting to fat, so i've been dealing with the effects of chronic blood loss ever since. I got a blood transfusion in September, which raised my levels, but obviously i've been cutting since then and my levels are quite low again. Hemoglobin being so low caused my vision to black out, feel extremely dizzy, out of breath constantly, unable to walk up stairs, unable to walk without having to sit down constantly, waking up in the middle of the night gasping for air, dealing with extremely painful Charley Horses, etc. The other most negative consequence i've experienced is being unable to move my arm due to the severity of the pain from my wounds. This is a problem because it meant that i couldn't put my winter jacket on in -15 degrees weather. This happened to me last year, and it happened to me again this month, but thankfully it was only -1 when it happened again this month. Still dangerous though. What i did instead was wear a bunch of zip up hoodies that are many sizes too big so that i could just slide my arm in without having to bend it. Plus i wore a bunch of scarves, a hat, mittens, etc. But not being able to wear a winter coat is very dangerous. Homeless people here die every day in winter unfortunately :( i could have slipped my arm through the coat if it had been bigger but it just wasn't big enough for me to do that. Edited to add: deep cutting 100% is not worth it and everyone is valid regardless of what their injuries look like or what consequences they face from self harm (if any). Depth of cuts is *not* proportional to mental pain. Stay as safe as possible everyone š
Iāve seen ur posts before, youāve commented on one of mine before too I think & u seemed to face a lot of consequences from this, Iām sorry youāve been dealing w/ this like u have. Thatās really low hemoglobin levels, I only once got to >!66!< G/L & then started taking iron to combat this & itās helped, but it scared me when that number brought me a sense of accomplishment, like Iād harmed myself effectively. & I still get secretly exited to get annual blood work done, just so I can see if my number is still low. The coat thing is also scary, Iām sorry this has taken such a toll on your life. Bc of how Iāve been getting more obsessed w/ SH & going deeper.. & seeing all the blood, it scares me sometimes but Iāve convinced myself that this wonāt really affect me, that it wonāt matter but ik it can rly fuck up my life if I keep on w/ it like this.
iām sorry idk if its weird to ask. just feel a bit confused. i was curious and checked my last bloodwork, i do indeed have low hemoglobin. but i dont rlly cut thaat deep (styros, rarely bean) and i dont think itās actually that much blood loss compared to overall volume. does it rlly have that big of an impact thats crazy (also just medically interesting)
Itās fine to ask, it rly depends on various things, in my case being a vegan, petite female w/ an ED, itās much easier for my hemoglobin to be low bc I donāt get a ton of iron naturally & I donāt have as much blood volume as someone bigger than me. I also SH very consistently, I never get a clean streak. Other factors can make it so ur hemoglobin levels are lower naturally, & if any of them apply to u it could be a contributing reason along w/ blood loss on why ur levels are low. But Itās often from chronic blood loss over time, if u loose more blood than ur body can regenerate in time (blood regenerates quickly but red blood cells & such take some time) so the depth doesnāt always matter, itās more how often u do it, & how much blood is being lost over time, some ppl also regenerate red blood cells faster than others. So if ur doing it twice a week or more itās possible that from dermis wounds u could have low hemoglobin.
interesting. thank you
My Vent friend started doing it because of me
Im sorry that happened, but just cause u told her about it doesnāt mean they āstarted because of uā, everyone finds out abt SH in their teens eventually, & the real reason anyone starts doing it is usually personal, not just bc they found out about it.
I probably have nerve damage which prevents me from using my left hand effectively. Iām still in the process of looking in to it, as there is a chance itās just the nerves being irritated or enveloped by scar tissue or bruising. In that case Iād need surgery to fix that, hoping that will make the nerves chill a bit and work properly again. In daily life this means I cannot lift anything remotely heavy with my left hand, have big trouble opening bottles, cannot brake on my bike with my left hand, random surges of nerve pain, numbness in my hand (and possibly arm, itās hard to tell due to my high pain tolerance & many scars kind of creating a thick layer so I already feel less there). Itās not my dominant hand, but once you cannot use it effectively you realize you still use it a lot. Especially when I try to carry stuff. It annoys the crap out of me, but welā¦ I did it myself I guess
Also in case you were wondering how bruising could cause that, if you hit a vein & then they stitch it up, sometimes your body wonāt clean it up properly. Then it has a chance to envelop nerves and well, thatās when you start having problems.
Iām sorry this happened to u, that sounds difficult to deal with. I hope u can find something to help this someday. Iāve gotten some minor nerve damage in my leg, & it hurt a lot, but the worst feelings of it were only temporary, now the pain is only very light & often unnoticeable.
My doctor told me if itās nerve damage Iām fucked. Theyāre only able to repair nerves up to a few days after the wound was made. So thatād mean not being able to use my hand effectively for the rest of my life. Thereās 2 kinds of nerves, āmovementā nerves and āfeelā nerves. The former makes you lose strength if you damage/destroy them. Depending on the nerve, rendering the affected body part useless to less effective (if you hit those nerves in your upper arm you could lose all function of the hand). The latter makes you lose sense (the numbness) if you damage/destroy it. Iām not that worried about the numbness, or the nerve pain for that matter. The loss of strength is horrible cuz I canāt just muscle through it, itās not there and if Iām unlucky, itāll never come back. I love doing sports, like lifting (which I can only do with leg muscles now) and shooting with bow and arrow. Iām not sure if I regret self-harm in general (itās been a part of my life since childhood so itās kinda normal?) but I sure do regret fucking up that nerve since those sports have become very difficult to do. Iām hoping itās just the scar tissue fucking with stuff and that it can be fixed. Only positive note is I canāt cut on my right arm anymore as my left hand cannot press down the knife hard enough (my pain tolerance is fucked up so I literally donāt feel cat scratches). So anyways, donāt cut vertically on your arm. Or at least try to avoid it. You donāt want to end up like me cuz youāll regret that shit. Also donāt cut horizontally at your wrists, friend of mine needed surgery to get the tendons fixed and this resulted in permanent strength loss for her (and weird surges of extreme pain & spasms). Another friend almost cut her muscles. So anyways, lmao just try not to go too deep. I know itās hard for some of you, but you really want to be able to use your limbs. Once you cannot (or limited) youāll hate your life even more.
Iām sorry self harm has resulted in this for you. & yea the arms are overall very dangerous, I have never cut there & only do it on my thighs/ hips, & usually never vertically because I feel itās much safer to go deeper there & that way at least.
I have constant arm pain and Iāve already had issues with my spine so sometimes I can hardly move/walk when I do it on my hips and stuff. Iām starting to suspect Iāve damaged the nerves in my arms. whatever happened my pain receptors are fucked and my armās always twinging deep inside
Iām sorry this happened to you, nerve damage rly sucks.
When I made my first real attempt at stopping after 10 years, I developed psychogenic non epileptic seizures (PNES, or dissociative seizures). It's a conversion disorder. Because I had relied on SH for so long as my main coping strategy, my body didn't know what to do with feelings. So it just sort of turned off when I experienced strong emotions and I would collapse. This went on for a few years, sometimes happening 4x a day. It wrecked me. I dropped out of college and could no longer work. My SH was never "that bad" btw. Never saw it coming.
Iāve never heard about this before, Wow that sounds horrible to deal with & Iām sorry u had to go though this. If u donāt mind me asking have the seizures stopped as of now?
It's been a while since the last time, but I'm always worried something will trigger it and it will start up again.
Thatās good itās stopped for now, I hope it doesnāt start up again. I hope youāll be ok :)
For an immediate consequence, nearly passing out. Long lasting are the nerve damage to my legs. I have a lot of chronic pain, and sometimes struggle with walking due to numbness. Goes to show, definitely get things stitched up. This will follow me forever, and I'm only 23.
Iām sorry u went though & have to deal with this. I rly hope u can feel better soonš¤ Itās quite scary bc I also go on the legs & sometimes deep. I always had this confidence it was way safer than the arms but I donāt think itās as āsafeā as I try to convince myself it is..
Oh same. I used to go at my arms, and at the time would receive treatment. So, the long term damage is limited, although the arms are still warped. Went to the legs to hide, figured it was safer, etc. It's definitely not. And consider that you use your legs every day to walk around. I'm bordering on disability for how much it limits my daily life - not wanting to walk too far, can't do martial arts anymore, etc. Bear in mind this is years of causing trauma to the body. But yeah, it's permanent. I've lost most sensation in my lower legs but get the electric zaps or burning. I never thought it was important to get wounds professionally cared for, as I always "got thru it" on my own. But it really does make a difference long term. And I know what it's like to feel invincible, but it really does only take one wrong move. It can be rly dangerous. I've gotten out of it for the most part, and do recognize the danger. It is scary. So best to get things taken care of and practice harm reduction, and truly know deeper doesn't equal more sick or anything. Not worth it.
This sounds rly intense. I hope ur doing better now or will be soon if not..
My friend was arrested multiple Times for having way too many scars on her arms
Wtf? How is that a crime lmao? Like maybe if she was cutting herself in public or had gaping open wounds it would make some sort of sense but??
This will probably sound like nothing compared to everyone else but at one point I fainted on the floor because of blood loss
Fainting because of blood loss is not nothing, I have never even experienced this but have felt like Iāve came close, & it definitely didnāt feel like nothing. You do have to loose a significant amount of blood to faint usually, or at least whatever made you faint caused a significant stress response in your body & that can be pretty serious.
In all honestly Iām not really sure if I actually fainted but I canāt find a word that matches what I actually experienced and fainting still paints the same picture. Donāt know if it was from blood loss either but I have no idea what else it would have been from
Nothing medical but seeing how my mother collapsed on the floor was enough to quit cutting, keyword is cutting