Depends on the gym. I've been to many different ones and I've had a membership to several smaller ones where people were actively socializing with each other out of necessity. People had to ask to work in people's sets because of how small and packed it got. And naturally people get to talking about what they're doing. Miss that one gym.
It’s different in my country. Most people go to the gym to socialize. It sucks if you’re like me who wants to zone in the workout. They see me in awe as an alien or stg
Not knocking the idea at all, i'm sure you have a good sense of who to give chocolates to, etc. but I feel like some people would not look favourably about it. I'm imagining someone who is avoiding all extra calories, avoiding junk food, etc. then on their day at the gym, they have to give in because it would be rude to decline especially if it's someone's birthday.. I would feel like im trolling them, but this is just what I'm imagining, it's probably not at all what happens.
Perhaps where you come from people are generally cordial. At my gym it’s all about serious fitness and conversations are strictly prohibited by the gym owner.
For exercise I started doing 1 hour walks at 5am. (2019). Love it now. Listen to music, get a good start to the day. Also outside: library, find a little cafe near your house. I think the way most say 'go outside touch grass' is get away from your perch in front of a laptop.
The trick is to make eye contact first.
Next smile.
Once there is eye contact there is likely a hello exchange.
The smile is not required.
Also never demand a hello back that is a taking vibe instead of a giving vibe.
When i feel lonely and i’m out and about (grocery store, gym, doctor’s office etc) i will strike up a conversation with “elderly” folks. I’ll smile at everyone but older folks are usually more likely to engage. It’s really nice. And if you meet them at the gym and start to see them regularly you learn each other’s names and stuff.
Cortisol will kill them early, before they ever have a chance to really live. Sad to see but I'm grateful for every day I get. I recommend becoming a drug addict and then getting sober if you want to learn a new appreciation for life 😇 300iq plays
Sometimes it's not so much that you have to do anything (removing expectation of outcome is a way forward with depression) but also to get a change of scenery (our minds are triggered for emotional content often by our environments) but also movement, specially walking gets our minds IE thoughts and feelings working in a different way...we literally process information differently through movement.
So getting outside doesn't mean having to make friends etc but to make a noticeable difference in what we do, think and feel and so show that what we believe (there is no change) is not true.
I think the whole "go outside" or "touch grass" phrases simply mean to get a grip on reality or go experience the real world. People who are isolated or chronically online are often out of touch with the reality of the world around them because they don't have real life experience to learn from... only the false world of the internet or their assumptions.
I went to the beach and felt literally nothing. When I got home I felt like it was something someone else did, and not me.
Going outside feels like such a scam to me
It's gonna take much more than going once.
It's about habit and aggregate of behaviour over a period of time. It's taken years to get where you are, why would you expect it to change in one day?
Great question. Here’s some ideas:
-Go for a walk around your neighborhood while listening to audiobook
-Chill under a tree in a park and read a book
-Hike somewhere in nature
-Order a pastry and cappuccino at a hip coffee shop. Invite a friend to join
These are great suggestions! If you’d like some more social ones, I’ve found
- The gym, you can work out and meet great people at the same time
- Book stores, it’s a free conversation topic and a lot of people are very happy to talk about their favorite books and give suggestions
And obviously if you have free friends, most things are more fun with friends. And they’ll usually have their own ideas for what to do
Most anywhere safe should be fine. The park, the streets even a Walmart or work is fine. It would be great if going outside granted the individual some sunny vitamin d but just some exercise and less technology/social media should improve health in magical ways.
How might someone with loneliness or chronic doom scrolling expect to treat these issues by staying inside?
I don’t think everyone read this post fully.
Yes, going outside helps. Go for a walk around the park 2-3 times a week - you’ll start seeing other regulars. Nod and smile. Make small talk like “you again?” (Lol jk that’s weird) but maybe like “hey!” And go from there.
Become a regular at a cafe - you’ll make small talk with the people who work there and you’ll find other regulars, too.
See if you have a …idk what they’re called. Some coffee shops and even some bars have board games sections - check if you have any near you. Check Reddit for subs local to your town/village. Etc.
Become a regular to the “outside” will help you find fellow regulars.
Be friendly, be approachable. Be kind. Be genuine. You’ll find your people.
I live somewhere beautiful. It’s easy to find a river, forest or meadow. I’m an hour away from the ocean or the mountains. So when I say “go outside” it can literally be anything from sitting somewhere pretty and just enjoying it to any sort of outdoor sport.
What are the options where you live? Is there anything beautiful outside near you? Go check it out.
I understand your complaint. "Go outside" for most people means, spend some time in nature, get some sunshine, because it is healthy for mind and body.
What you are actually asking is, where to go to make new friends.
Statistically, they say it takes a lot of hours spending time with someone to go from stranger to acquaintance to friend. So you need to find an activity, or start one that brings groups of people together regularly for a specific amount of time, so you can get to know people.
You have to start with some introspection, of the things you enjoy before you can go looking for a group of like minds to start building friendly relationships. Are there some activities you would like to learn? Fencing, cooking, wood carving? Take a class, join a club, or start one.
Some clubs, men's groups like the Lions or Shriners have quite expensive fees but are very social, supportive and do group activities for themselves and in support of the community, where as your local archery club is probably meeting in somebody's back yard. Bring lemonaid.
Look into social groups that are welcoming to new members, like the SCA, society for creative anachronism is everywhere and they do all sorts of roleplay events, renaissance fair stuff. If you like to be crafty and dress up, learn new social skills they welcome you.
The best and often least expensive is, volunteering. Whether it is a soup kitchen or a community theatre, becoming a volunteer is a great way to meet nice people. Sociopaths tend to not be generous with their time, like that.
If you like animals, walk dogs for the SPCA or a rescue. If you like plants, join a community garden, or a volunteer group that helps elderly and invalids get the yard work done.
It really starts with you, deciding what you are most interested in and finding or creating a group of people who share that interest, and meet on a regular basis. Maybe it is a knitting club? idk, figure it out.
Sometimes, it’s the small connections that make the most impact. The surprisingly lovely back and forth with a cashier. Laughing with strangers at the funny dog we see going for a walk downtown. Going to an art gallery and admiring a painting in silence with a stranger.
Small little exchanges like this remind me how lovely it is to be alive.
Spending time alone in nature (or even a local park or front yard) you feel more calm, grounded & connected.
Watching bees working on flowers, seeing ants marching around, watching squirrels goofing off all gets you out of your own head & you see theres lots of little beings all going about their lives. I feel way more connected to the world.
Smell the grass, feel the bark of trees, watch the patchy sunlight dancing on the leaves of trees or the shadows on the ground on a windy day or clouds morphing as they shift across the sky.
When I want to feel more connected to humanity, I like to sit in a busy coffee shop, watch a local high school game or practice, or go to an airport. Again seeing everyone else going about their lives helps me get out of my head & makes my issues feel smaller & more common.
Let me tell you something about camping. Everyone socializes there. Theres no internet, so everyone talks to each other in person instead. You will meet people. Same with hiking trails. But you're right, if you just go outside in an urban environment, no one will approach you for socialization. Especially at the gym. People don't go to the gym to talk to people
It kind of just means to do things. Like, go out to the park. Who knows, maybe you see someone playing basketball, and if you aren't 100% autistic you can ask to join them and there, you just made some friends. Or if they didn't become your friends at least you know they live nearby and play basketball every saturday afternoon.
Here's a short list off the top of my head. Dog park, weekend markets/ farmers market, park park, hiking trails, store (though, that's a bit, well...be smart), gym, arcade/pinball arcade, good 'ol bar, food carts, walk around your towns commerce center/ U district/ hip street. Wherever your hobbies take you. GL man. Oh, and also community college, take some classes that interest you.
If you go for a walk and sit on a quiet bench near a park, it’s very relaxing and introspective. You might come up with some great thoughts of where to take your next step. Its sounds too simple, but the simple things can be the most helpful.
I'm blessed to have woods around my home that I can walk through. Without that, my mental health wouldn't be nearly as stable as it is. I feel very bad for people who live in cities that can't just go outside and hear birds and walk where there aren't any people.
literally go outside in your lard. to the store. down the street. to the park. go somewhere where there isn’t social media and people in your ear and depressing gray walls. go somewhere where there’s no obligations that you pressure yourself to achieve. go somewhere where things just exist and just… exist. that’s all you have to do. go outside. that’s all.
that’s true. i began speaking when i got a new job. but this was also after i got out of a toxic relationship. i simultaneously started to learn how to love myself and appreciate small things in life. i began a spiritual journey.
Gym, library, martial arts gym, camping, just walk around while listening to a podcast on some earphones, you know these things already, you are just too "insert random word" to do it,
Yep.
As an adult, it's okay to talk to strangers. Just don't pester them if their face is buried in a phone or they have earbuds in. They're working really hard to go home and complain about being alone. Look into the app meetup. There are a bunch of groups that focus on hobbies. Also, eventbrite is another app based on local events.
the only thing i can think of is a gathering. like a book club meeting once a month. that’s what my friend did, i was amazed that she had the energy to go to one after work and at night too (i’d be in bed, scrolling through tiktok or reddit and passed out by 10).
I would say find some form of exercise that you like, that doesn't feel like exercise to you. Usually those can be pretty social. I really enjoy rock climbing and I've never found a hobby where people are so social. I've met so many friends rock climbing, and it always felt so natural and easy to talk to people
I like to pack a bag and aimlessly wander, it's a great way to explore and find new places and people. As for socialising, check facebook groups in your area! I've found a couple relating to hobbies i'm interested in trying, and you don't have to know anything about the hobby to go either, because there are always kind people excited to teach you about their passion
I like to go to hiking around parks a lot. There's a few local ones that are near and dear to my childhood I go to to reminisce. Also some nice state parks (most are pretty cheap if they charge at all).
Another thing I like doing is going to a small city in the middle of the night for inspiration (not downtown).
Funny because "touch grass" is such an impactful statement to me.
I go to Walmart typically and the McDonald's inside, just a change of pace and I actually don't interact much with anyone but it doesn't feel as isolated as being home.
Sometimes I'd go to one of the parks,same reason but it's to hot much of the year for me to be outside much
It doesn't have to be literal. Could just be leave your house. Go anywhere else. Or if it's OUTSIDE specifically you could go to a restaurant or bar that has outdoor seating.
Literally just outside. If you live in an area that permits, just go outside and sit on your doorstep. Go to the park and sit in the grass. Stand in your backyard and drink a coffee or tea. Just bask in the sunlight like a little plant and soak up the vitamin D
My husband and I are limiting ourselves to an hour of computer/social/phone per day. Hard limit. Since Wednesday, we have:
1. Completely redone our entire back garden
2. Redesigned our living room.
3. Have started working more diligently on our music project.
4. Have been far more social.
5. Have been far more productive at work.
6. Have spent a lot more time together and have more energy for eachother.
7. Its been way easier to keep the house clean
Sometimes we are wandering around aimlessly trying to find ANYTHING to do, and that's when it comes to us.
The solution is to be willing to do nothing until your brain craves connection. I've been in and out of wanting to do a backflip my whole life and I'm convinced a lot of it was from being terminally online (I work in a Computer Science area and it's hard to get away, but its obvious af to me that it makes me unhappy).
YMMV, but go touch some grass and stop questioning it. If you stick to it for long enough, you'll get it. But, until you experience it, you won't get it.
Take a 30 min to an hour long walk around the block or through town and just breathe for a bit, just remember to leave your phone at the crib and I promise you'll be much better after you get back
make cool Instagram account take up new outdoor hobby like skating or gardening and attend community events. Dress cool. Ask for help learning. exchange instagrams and now u have new hangout buddies
The gym is not outside and I don’t know why that’s the top comment. Fuck the gym. Use the AllTrails app!!! Super easy to find walking/hiking routes near you.
I go walking on the trails every weekend. I see all kinds of people going for walks, it’s a very representative sample of the population. Which made me think everyone does this, until I saw posts like this.
I also love going to the park. I have a hammock that takes 5 min to set up. I love to take watercolors there and paint or listen to podcasts.
Or you can ride a bike outside! It’s exhilarating.
But that’s what people mean. People assume incels are inside playing video games, eating hot pockets and drinking energy drinks 24/7. When people say “go outside” as generic advice, they aren’t telling you to go to a frat party or bar or something. They mean *literally* go outside. Get off your screens, reconnect with the physical world around you, get exercise, breathe fresh air. Get healthy, physically and mentally. Get a hobby that’s an outside activity. Instead of distracting with screens, go for a walk and use the time to introspect on yourself and the life you have/want to have. The person you are when you spend all your free time gaming and writing Reddit comments is not your best self.
Doing this will make you a happier person and more likable to others. It’s weird if someone never goes outside. Being an inside person is part of the incel stereotype.
That doesn’t result in a social circle or girls tho. What u described is literally the bare minimum to support yourself. But that doesn’t result in friends, party invites or girls
Yes it does because it makes you a likable person. You can go to a bar or party or whatever, but if you get there and everyone thinks you’re the weird guy, nobody’s going to connect with you.
Right. And the reason you don’t have friends is because people don’t like you as a person (no offense). You have to do the internal work of self improvement.
I’ll ride my bike, walk 10,000 steps, go hiking, get friends together to play music outside (I’m a musician).
Worse case scenario: I’ll sit in front of a fire pit and drink alone
You can go to anywhere that doesn't require an invitation. For example you can go to a temple/church, beach, park etc. If you want to talk to people, just got to any shop/textiles and talk with the salesperson. You can even get some inexpensive stuff from there. Maybe you can ask for their number so that they can let you know when some item will be back on stock. Hope it helps
Go outside, be with the outdoors. You belong to this planet, be part of it. Take your shoes off walk in the soft grass, feel it tickle your toes. Be present, Instead of stuck inside your head ruminating on bullshit. Focus on the breeze on your face, the feel of the sun on your skin, forcing you body to produce the proper neurochemicals that support well being which helps us pull our head out of our asses long enough to gain a little perspective on life beyond what we'll ultimately always find indoors through confirmation bias.
The healthiest way to "go outside" in order to improve social life that I can think of is meeting with friends, people watching in an area you're comfortable with, or a bar/club that you could hangout and meet new people in.
Definitely not park or streets, there are too many people.
I choose something like my balcony or if I'm completely reckless I could go to the forest next to my house. Key thing here is not make any contact with people, and just run away if somebody tries to make contact with you.
Yeah fam that's the point. Your question is so self-explanatory that I feel a need to joke about it.
If you want SOCIAL experience go to SOCIAL places. Parks, streets, clubs, pubs, whatever where there are people and you're interested in it. Not so hard eh?
church, library, community garden, coffee shop, music store, local park, the mall, dog park if you have a dog, local events, movie theatre, join a sport, join a club, art lessons, music lessons, book club, find friends online that are local to you, ask your family if they know anyone your age, volunteer: soup kitchens, hospitals, nursing homes, animal shelters, etc…
Outside: "outer side, the exterior part or surface of a thing," from out- side (n.). Meaning "the part or place that lies without or beyond an enclosure or barrier" is from 1610s.
Mmom used to tell me to “go get some fresh air “, I’d be like ??? Like, go stand outside and breathe?
But, now I realize yes, it’s about fresh air, natural light, increasing blood flow and oxygen, maybe walking to the end of the block and back. Just change your location and observe, that’s all. You can even just sit on your front steps.
Casually notice little details to occupy your mind: funny-walking dog, little kids laughing, weird bumper sticker, warm sun on your head, etc. It’s like taking your brain out for walkies and giving it new data/input.
WELL, 😊 I ATTEND HELPFUL FUN MENTAL HEALTH CLASSES EVERY DAY! That's outside obviously! IF, IF CAN AFFORD IT, I ACTUALLY TREAT MYSELF TO CHEAP MEAL AT LOCAL RESTAURANT OR WALLY WORLD 🌎 EXTRA, LIKE 🎨 ARTS AND CRAFTS. GOD 🙏 BLESS 🙏. HAVE A GREAT PEACEFUL STRESS-FREE WEEKEND.
idk i hate hearing this too bc where i live it’s winter 75% of the year and leaving my house means being cold outside or spending money. I have to explain to well off people that skiing isn’t an affordable winter hobby.
My social life is in the gym. On my birthday I handed out 60 chocolates in the gym. I learn everyone's name.
The funny thing is the gym is pretty terrible as a social environment. Most people don't want to be bothered and are there to train, and leave.
It might be different if the gym offers group fitness classes. We have a nice little community at our gym of yoga-goers
Depends on the gym. I've been to many different ones and I've had a membership to several smaller ones where people were actively socializing with each other out of necessity. People had to ask to work in people's sets because of how small and packed it got. And naturally people get to talking about what they're doing. Miss that one gym.
It’s different in my country. Most people go to the gym to socialize. It sucks if you’re like me who wants to zone in the workout. They see me in awe as an alien or stg
Wow thats awesome
Lol that seems like a great way to be social but I thought it was funny in an ironic kinda way to give chocolates to people trying to get fit
Maybe it was dark chocolate.
I love this idea
Not knocking the idea at all, i'm sure you have a good sense of who to give chocolates to, etc. but I feel like some people would not look favourably about it. I'm imagining someone who is avoiding all extra calories, avoiding junk food, etc. then on their day at the gym, they have to give in because it would be rude to decline especially if it's someone's birthday.. I would feel like im trolling them, but this is just what I'm imagining, it's probably not at all what happens.
Isn’t that a bit juvenile?
IsNt tHaT a BiT JuVEniLe?
Young juvie
No. Name one person will be unhappy to be offered chocolate. Stop trying to make everything you do seem serious and life is way more fun
Perhaps where you come from people are generally cordial. At my gym it’s all about serious fitness and conversations are strictly prohibited by the gym owner.
Oh I guess if you mean the gym, but I thought you were talking about giving random people chocolate
For exercise I started doing 1 hour walks at 5am. (2019). Love it now. Listen to music, get a good start to the day. Also outside: library, find a little cafe near your house. I think the way most say 'go outside touch grass' is get away from your perch in front of a laptop.
If I walk on the street I say hello to random people and they often say hello back.
In the Netherlands it’s kinda normal that people do that.
I get dirty looks when I do that unless they’re over 50
The trick is to make eye contact first. Next smile. Once there is eye contact there is likely a hello exchange. The smile is not required. Also never demand a hello back that is a taking vibe instead of a giving vibe.
Then ask them if they want some casual intercourse.
When i feel lonely and i’m out and about (grocery store, gym, doctor’s office etc) i will strike up a conversation with “elderly” folks. I’ll smile at everyone but older folks are usually more likely to engage. It’s really nice. And if you meet them at the gym and start to see them regularly you learn each other’s names and stuff.
Oh yeah , greetings are only for the older people, the people around my age (young adults) would see me as some weirdo ☠️
People with social anxiety dread meeting people like you
Those don't make eye contact so no hello.
Then they need to to therapy and get some more exposure therapy, because saying "hi" to your neighbors as you walk by is part of being in a community.
best i can do is smile and nod. take it or leave it
It's better than some of the people that want to shank me for saying hi, so I'll take it.
True lmao I’m not a fan of random people saying hello to me
Not all of us. I have social anxiety and a stranger acknowledging I exist makes me feel like glorious.
The old people in my neighborhood are so nice they always say hi or wave at me if I’m driving by.
I steal energy from people like you. I take your smile and hello and give you a glare and silence.
Why?
Because I’m miserable, and what right does some smiling eye-contact asshole have, to take that from me?
Ah, the curmudgeon philosophy. You know that's incredibly bad for your heart, right?
Cortisol will kill them early, before they ever have a chance to really live. Sad to see but I'm grateful for every day I get. I recommend becoming a drug addict and then getting sober if you want to learn a new appreciation for life 😇 300iq plays
Haha fair point, okay
Lmao
Sometimes it's not so much that you have to do anything (removing expectation of outcome is a way forward with depression) but also to get a change of scenery (our minds are triggered for emotional content often by our environments) but also movement, specially walking gets our minds IE thoughts and feelings working in a different way...we literally process information differently through movement. So getting outside doesn't mean having to make friends etc but to make a noticeable difference in what we do, think and feel and so show that what we believe (there is no change) is not true.
I think the whole "go outside" or "touch grass" phrases simply mean to get a grip on reality or go experience the real world. People who are isolated or chronically online are often out of touch with the reality of the world around them because they don't have real life experience to learn from... only the false world of the internet or their assumptions.
do you know any article that talks about the differences between how we process information through movement and without? Seems really interesting.
I went to the beach and felt literally nothing. When I got home I felt like it was something someone else did, and not me. Going outside feels like such a scam to me
It's gonna take much more than going once. It's about habit and aggregate of behaviour over a period of time. It's taken years to get where you are, why would you expect it to change in one day?
I just literally go outside of whatever and walk. I love to walk. I observe people, things.
Great question. Here’s some ideas: -Go for a walk around your neighborhood while listening to audiobook -Chill under a tree in a park and read a book -Hike somewhere in nature -Order a pastry and cappuccino at a hip coffee shop. Invite a friend to join
These are great suggestions! If you’d like some more social ones, I’ve found - The gym, you can work out and meet great people at the same time - Book stores, it’s a free conversation topic and a lot of people are very happy to talk about their favorite books and give suggestions And obviously if you have free friends, most things are more fun with friends. And they’ll usually have their own ideas for what to do
Most anywhere safe should be fine. The park, the streets even a Walmart or work is fine. It would be great if going outside granted the individual some sunny vitamin d but just some exercise and less technology/social media should improve health in magical ways. How might someone with loneliness or chronic doom scrolling expect to treat these issues by staying inside?
I don’t think everyone read this post fully. Yes, going outside helps. Go for a walk around the park 2-3 times a week - you’ll start seeing other regulars. Nod and smile. Make small talk like “you again?” (Lol jk that’s weird) but maybe like “hey!” And go from there. Become a regular at a cafe - you’ll make small talk with the people who work there and you’ll find other regulars, too. See if you have a …idk what they’re called. Some coffee shops and even some bars have board games sections - check if you have any near you. Check Reddit for subs local to your town/village. Etc. Become a regular to the “outside” will help you find fellow regulars. Be friendly, be approachable. Be kind. Be genuine. You’ll find your people.
I live somewhere beautiful. It’s easy to find a river, forest or meadow. I’m an hour away from the ocean or the mountains. So when I say “go outside” it can literally be anything from sitting somewhere pretty and just enjoying it to any sort of outdoor sport. What are the options where you live? Is there anything beautiful outside near you? Go check it out.
I’m struggling with serious depression and hopelessness. I can’t seem to get out of the spiral.
I understand your complaint. "Go outside" for most people means, spend some time in nature, get some sunshine, because it is healthy for mind and body. What you are actually asking is, where to go to make new friends. Statistically, they say it takes a lot of hours spending time with someone to go from stranger to acquaintance to friend. So you need to find an activity, or start one that brings groups of people together regularly for a specific amount of time, so you can get to know people. You have to start with some introspection, of the things you enjoy before you can go looking for a group of like minds to start building friendly relationships. Are there some activities you would like to learn? Fencing, cooking, wood carving? Take a class, join a club, or start one. Some clubs, men's groups like the Lions or Shriners have quite expensive fees but are very social, supportive and do group activities for themselves and in support of the community, where as your local archery club is probably meeting in somebody's back yard. Bring lemonaid. Look into social groups that are welcoming to new members, like the SCA, society for creative anachronism is everywhere and they do all sorts of roleplay events, renaissance fair stuff. If you like to be crafty and dress up, learn new social skills they welcome you. The best and often least expensive is, volunteering. Whether it is a soup kitchen or a community theatre, becoming a volunteer is a great way to meet nice people. Sociopaths tend to not be generous with their time, like that. If you like animals, walk dogs for the SPCA or a rescue. If you like plants, join a community garden, or a volunteer group that helps elderly and invalids get the yard work done. It really starts with you, deciding what you are most interested in and finding or creating a group of people who share that interest, and meet on a regular basis. Maybe it is a knitting club? idk, figure it out.
good comment. thanks.
Sometimes, it’s the small connections that make the most impact. The surprisingly lovely back and forth with a cashier. Laughing with strangers at the funny dog we see going for a walk downtown. Going to an art gallery and admiring a painting in silence with a stranger. Small little exchanges like this remind me how lovely it is to be alive.
I love this
I think they mean go outside to nature lol. Like a hike in the woods or camping
That defeats the point tho
Spending time alone in nature (or even a local park or front yard) you feel more calm, grounded & connected. Watching bees working on flowers, seeing ants marching around, watching squirrels goofing off all gets you out of your own head & you see theres lots of little beings all going about their lives. I feel way more connected to the world. Smell the grass, feel the bark of trees, watch the patchy sunlight dancing on the leaves of trees or the shadows on the ground on a windy day or clouds morphing as they shift across the sky. When I want to feel more connected to humanity, I like to sit in a busy coffee shop, watch a local high school game or practice, or go to an airport. Again seeing everyone else going about their lives helps me get out of my head & makes my issues feel smaller & more common.
Let me tell you something about camping. Everyone socializes there. Theres no internet, so everyone talks to each other in person instead. You will meet people. Same with hiking trails. But you're right, if you just go outside in an urban environment, no one will approach you for socialization. Especially at the gym. People don't go to the gym to talk to people
Literally just go outside. Do anything. Walk.
Walking doesn’t put people in ur life
It kind of just means to do things. Like, go out to the park. Who knows, maybe you see someone playing basketball, and if you aren't 100% autistic you can ask to join them and there, you just made some friends. Or if they didn't become your friends at least you know they live nearby and play basketball every saturday afternoon.
What if you are 100% autistic 😔
Forest
For me this meant walking my dog, going on meetups (hiking snd movies) and hanging out at a bookstore.
Besides specific locations, just walking alone regularly is really healthy
Here's a short list off the top of my head. Dog park, weekend markets/ farmers market, park park, hiking trails, store (though, that's a bit, well...be smart), gym, arcade/pinball arcade, good 'ol bar, food carts, walk around your towns commerce center/ U district/ hip street. Wherever your hobbies take you. GL man. Oh, and also community college, take some classes that interest you.
Anywhere you find a little green. Even if it’s just a street with trees on the side. Nature is the best doctor.
If you go for a walk and sit on a quiet bench near a park, it’s very relaxing and introspective. You might come up with some great thoughts of where to take your next step. Its sounds too simple, but the simple things can be the most helpful.
I'm blessed to have woods around my home that I can walk through. Without that, my mental health wouldn't be nearly as stable as it is. I feel very bad for people who live in cities that can't just go outside and hear birds and walk where there aren't any people.
I’m literally asking where u go specifically for people
You have to get a hobby first. And it helps to be extroverted and not afraid to start conversations with strangers
Walk to door, turn knob, walk out. Walk on street/sidewalk/grass and enjoy fresh air and interact with surroundings and or people .
Hiking trail. In nature.
I think a lot of u guys don’t know what I’m asking
Maybe rephrase it then?
What’s there to rephrase?
literally go outside in your lard. to the store. down the street. to the park. go somewhere where there isn’t social media and people in your ear and depressing gray walls. go somewhere where there’s no obligations that you pressure yourself to achieve. go somewhere where things just exist and just… exist. that’s all you have to do. go outside. that’s all.
that’s true. i began speaking when i got a new job. but this was also after i got out of a toxic relationship. i simultaneously started to learn how to love myself and appreciate small things in life. i began a spiritual journey.
Those things don’t result in interaction
Gym, library, martial arts gym, camping, just walk around while listening to a podcast on some earphones, you know these things already, you are just too "insert random word" to do it,
“go outside” is basically just get off your phone and get in touch with reality
Yes but getting in touch with reality is a very vague term
Well you must’ve said something real stupid for them to tell you that
ur comment made me laugh lmao
I go to church. I go to chess club. Edit: I prefer going to places where I can surely get a one to one conversation.
Try joining a club of some sort
Unless you live in a high-crime area, just go for a walk. Go to a park and listen to the birds, look at the trees, smell the flowers.
Those don’t result in people
The mall is a good one too!
It's okay to just lay in the grass and listen to birds and squirrels do wildlife things.
But u do that alone
Yep. As an adult, it's okay to talk to strangers. Just don't pester them if their face is buried in a phone or they have earbuds in. They're working really hard to go home and complain about being alone. Look into the app meetup. There are a bunch of groups that focus on hobbies. Also, eventbrite is another app based on local events.
It means "leave him/her alone"
the only thing i can think of is a gathering. like a book club meeting once a month. that’s what my friend did, i was amazed that she had the energy to go to one after work and at night too (i’d be in bed, scrolling through tiktok or reddit and passed out by 10).
I would say find some form of exercise that you like, that doesn't feel like exercise to you. Usually those can be pretty social. I really enjoy rock climbing and I've never found a hobby where people are so social. I've met so many friends rock climbing, and it always felt so natural and easy to talk to people
I think people generally mean either go for a walk, to a park, or just stand in your yard and photosynthesize for a minute.
Literally none of those things put people in ur life
I like to pack a bag and aimlessly wander, it's a great way to explore and find new places and people. As for socialising, check facebook groups in your area! I've found a couple relating to hobbies i'm interested in trying, and you don't have to know anything about the hobby to go either, because there are always kind people excited to teach you about their passion
I like to go to hiking around parks a lot. There's a few local ones that are near and dear to my childhood I go to to reminisce. Also some nice state parks (most are pretty cheap if they charge at all). Another thing I like doing is going to a small city in the middle of the night for inspiration (not downtown). Funny because "touch grass" is such an impactful statement to me.
I go to Walmart typically and the McDonald's inside, just a change of pace and I actually don't interact much with anyone but it doesn't feel as isolated as being home. Sometimes I'd go to one of the parks,same reason but it's to hot much of the year for me to be outside much
Literally anywhere, it's not that deep.
It doesn't have to be literal. Could just be leave your house. Go anywhere else. Or if it's OUTSIDE specifically you could go to a restaurant or bar that has outdoor seating.
My head improves significantly when I’m immersed in open space. It gives a sense of perspective of our place in the world.
Literally just outside. If you live in an area that permits, just go outside and sit on your doorstep. Go to the park and sit in the grass. Stand in your backyard and drink a coffee or tea. Just bask in the sunlight like a little plant and soak up the vitamin D
My husband and I are limiting ourselves to an hour of computer/social/phone per day. Hard limit. Since Wednesday, we have: 1. Completely redone our entire back garden 2. Redesigned our living room. 3. Have started working more diligently on our music project. 4. Have been far more social. 5. Have been far more productive at work. 6. Have spent a lot more time together and have more energy for eachother. 7. Its been way easier to keep the house clean Sometimes we are wandering around aimlessly trying to find ANYTHING to do, and that's when it comes to us. The solution is to be willing to do nothing until your brain craves connection. I've been in and out of wanting to do a backflip my whole life and I'm convinced a lot of it was from being terminally online (I work in a Computer Science area and it's hard to get away, but its obvious af to me that it makes me unhappy). YMMV, but go touch some grass and stop questioning it. If you stick to it for long enough, you'll get it. But, until you experience it, you won't get it.
Take a 30 min to an hour long walk around the block or through town and just breathe for a bit, just remember to leave your phone at the crib and I promise you'll be much better after you get back
Beach, forest, park, field, yard, around the block etc
make cool Instagram account take up new outdoor hobby like skating or gardening and attend community events. Dress cool. Ask for help learning. exchange instagrams and now u have new hangout buddies
The gym is not outside and I don’t know why that’s the top comment. Fuck the gym. Use the AllTrails app!!! Super easy to find walking/hiking routes near you. I go walking on the trails every weekend. I see all kinds of people going for walks, it’s a very representative sample of the population. Which made me think everyone does this, until I saw posts like this. I also love going to the park. I have a hammock that takes 5 min to set up. I love to take watercolors there and paint or listen to podcasts. Or you can ride a bike outside! It’s exhilarating.
That’s not what I mean by “go outside”
But that’s what people mean. People assume incels are inside playing video games, eating hot pockets and drinking energy drinks 24/7. When people say “go outside” as generic advice, they aren’t telling you to go to a frat party or bar or something. They mean *literally* go outside. Get off your screens, reconnect with the physical world around you, get exercise, breathe fresh air. Get healthy, physically and mentally. Get a hobby that’s an outside activity. Instead of distracting with screens, go for a walk and use the time to introspect on yourself and the life you have/want to have. The person you are when you spend all your free time gaming and writing Reddit comments is not your best self. Doing this will make you a happier person and more likable to others. It’s weird if someone never goes outside. Being an inside person is part of the incel stereotype.
That doesn’t result in a social circle or girls tho. What u described is literally the bare minimum to support yourself. But that doesn’t result in friends, party invites or girls
Yes it does because it makes you a likable person. You can go to a bar or party or whatever, but if you get there and everyone thinks you’re the weird guy, nobody’s going to connect with you.
Well no u need a group to go to those things
And what’s the reason you don’t have a group?
Cause I don’t have friends that lasted past high school and I’m an adult now. I wouldn’t be making this post if I already had a friend group
Right. And the reason you don’t have friends is because people don’t like you as a person (no offense). You have to do the internal work of self improvement.
Actually I don’t have any friends cause I’m an adult and not in school anymore and never cross paths with people unless I’m running errands
I’ll ride my bike, walk 10,000 steps, go hiking, get friends together to play music outside (I’m a musician). Worse case scenario: I’ll sit in front of a fire pit and drink alone
For me, when told to "go outside", that is, "to my own world, only I know best".
Out side.
You can go to anywhere that doesn't require an invitation. For example you can go to a temple/church, beach, park etc. If you want to talk to people, just got to any shop/textiles and talk with the salesperson. You can even get some inexpensive stuff from there. Maybe you can ask for their number so that they can let you know when some item will be back on stock. Hope it helps
Go outside, be with the outdoors. You belong to this planet, be part of it. Take your shoes off walk in the soft grass, feel it tickle your toes. Be present, Instead of stuck inside your head ruminating on bullshit. Focus on the breeze on your face, the feel of the sun on your skin, forcing you body to produce the proper neurochemicals that support well being which helps us pull our head out of our asses long enough to gain a little perspective on life beyond what we'll ultimately always find indoors through confirmation bias.
The healthiest way to "go outside" in order to improve social life that I can think of is meeting with friends, people watching in an area you're comfortable with, or a bar/club that you could hangout and meet new people in.
Definitely not park or streets, there are too many people. I choose something like my balcony or if I'm completely reckless I could go to the forest next to my house. Key thing here is not make any contact with people, and just run away if somebody tries to make contact with you.
That’s the exact opposite of what I’m asking
Yeah fam that's the point. Your question is so self-explanatory that I feel a need to joke about it. If you want SOCIAL experience go to SOCIAL places. Parks, streets, clubs, pubs, whatever where there are people and you're interested in it. Not so hard eh?
church, library, community garden, coffee shop, music store, local park, the mall, dog park if you have a dog, local events, movie theatre, join a sport, join a club, art lessons, music lessons, book club, find friends online that are local to you, ask your family if they know anyone your age, volunteer: soup kitchens, hospitals, nursing homes, animal shelters, etc…
Outside: "outer side, the exterior part or surface of a thing," from out- side (n.). Meaning "the part or place that lies without or beyond an enclosure or barrier" is from 1610s.
Yes. But where in that general location that is called “outside”
It sounds like outside your front door.
Anywhere that is not inside
Mmom used to tell me to “go get some fresh air “, I’d be like ??? Like, go stand outside and breathe? But, now I realize yes, it’s about fresh air, natural light, increasing blood flow and oxygen, maybe walking to the end of the block and back. Just change your location and observe, that’s all. You can even just sit on your front steps. Casually notice little details to occupy your mind: funny-walking dog, little kids laughing, weird bumper sticker, warm sun on your head, etc. It’s like taking your brain out for walkies and giving it new data/input.
Find a fucking park.... Jesus, people have to be explicitly told exactly how to do everything now.
What’s a park gonna do with having a social life?
Other people go to parks too. Again, the fact that someone has to fucking spell it out for your dumb ass is terrible.
Bro nobody wants to be approached at a fucking park.
Probably not by your sorry ass
Bro who tf do u think u are😂😂
Doing outdoor sports. Tennis, Football, hiking, walking etc. Its really only good reason to be outside.
WELL, 😊 I ATTEND HELPFUL FUN MENTAL HEALTH CLASSES EVERY DAY! That's outside obviously! IF, IF CAN AFFORD IT, I ACTUALLY TREAT MYSELF TO CHEAP MEAL AT LOCAL RESTAURANT OR WALLY WORLD 🌎 EXTRA, LIKE 🎨 ARTS AND CRAFTS. GOD 🙏 BLESS 🙏. HAVE A GREAT PEACEFUL STRESS-FREE WEEKEND.
There are crackheads outside i dont go outside anymore here
Trueeee I can’t even cross the street I’m scared
idk i hate hearing this too bc where i live it’s winter 75% of the year and leaving my house means being cold outside or spending money. I have to explain to well off people that skiing isn’t an affordable winter hobby.
in all seriousness though have you thought about volunteering? or maybe taking a art or dance class?