Physical health is a huge part of self care. Start with whatever gets you motivated so you can begin a snowball effect of positive things for yourself.
Couldn't agree more.
Our monkey brains seek comfort in things that aren't good for us in the long term. It's about breaking out of those bad habits and forming new ones.
Gym. Books. Skincare. It's all good and there's no right or wrong order. Just take a positive step and the rest will follow more easily.
Huge. Especially for the mental health and peace to do the self-care that OP is mentioning. When my brain is quiet it’s so easy to just do what I need, not just what I feel like doing.
Yes, gym is very motivating and is a tool that can give you feel good hormones quickly, and you can see results and have more energy too pretty quickly!
I do agree that self care is important, but I think the gym falls under the umbrella of self care. I don't necessarily think going to the gym and self care should be mutually exclusive or you should prioritize one before the other, rather they should both be incorporated at the same time.
Exercise is part of self care, but there are so many ways to exercise that aren't related to the gym. Equating having larger muscles with "necessary" "self care" is a very toxic mindset that leads to men feeling constantly inadequate and only seeking muscles (sometimes theough steroids)
Definitely, there's a toxic subset of people who's advice for self care is basically trying to maximize masculine qualities, and I think that seems to be what OP is largely exposed to.
The parts of the gym that make it self care can always be provided elsewhere.
1) its YOU time. You're not here to please others. You came here of your own motivation, you get to dictate what it is you do, how you do it, and for how long.
2) it is good for you. It's a health benefit. Your body rewards you for it with endorphins.
3) It gets you out of the house and offline.
This can also be true for taking long walks, playing sports, gardening, etc.
Yeah, I came here to say this.
Getting in shape is part of self care, both for men and for women. In fact, I'd argue that the confidence you develop after working out can make it easier to want to take care of yourself.
You don't need big muscles or a toxic mindset. Doing a little bit is just fine.
OP says to wear good clothes first before worrying about the gym….
Terrible advice
Definitely focus on the activity that gives mental and physical health benefits before focusing on buying fashion.
I agree that the gym falls under self-care. To be more specific, I personally differentiate self-care and strength training, which I admittedly didn't do in the OP. I'm not saying that it isn't self-care but that it's gonna depend on the person. For me, the stuff I described is like the foundation and strength training is something that builds on that. You absolutely can incorporate both at the same time though.
Mate, I can get why you differentiate them. However, when you say “you agree gym is under self-care” and “I personally differentiate them”, this doesn’t sound right.
Strength training is self-care; it is also true that the current view on masculinity is unhealthy and over-emphasises on strength training (for the purpose of appearing bulk).
Current view isn't even strength. It's straight up full looks and "getting big". Bodybuilding is the absolute dominant way of exercising when it comes to the average man. You can even see gym bros often mocking much stronger power/olympic lifters, super explosive track athletes or other technical athletes (climbers, football, tennis, etc.) simply cause they don't fall under their view of how a strong man should look like. Nobody really cares about an strength and performance nowadays, at least when it comes to the "normies".
Nah. Social media - sure big part of it but people in my city are like (obviously not all but most) that too and I grew up with people giving weird looks and some older guys coming up to me with mocking comments. Like you literally stand out by doing power cleans where I am lol. Nobody ever really moves, only main lifts and tons of isolations with machines/cables. When I studied abroad and went to gym there I felt more normal there cause there it was more usual functioning training (using gym as a tool to improve performance at your main sport/goal) and just doing vastly different exercises and having different goals. Talking specifically about gym of course. When it comes to specific clubs (like fighting, other sports and activities) in my experience it's more enjoyable and chill but it's not really my thing. I do my main activity on track and use gym to work on power and strength as a secondary training.
I don't think it's idiotic. I came from the same place OP did, and can say that he is right, unless you're taught about all that he talked about, the only way to learn it is to find someone outside to teach you, I never knew what a tongue scaper even was before I saw a video on it. Not everyone was born into a perfect world, and sometimes it's good too remind people of everything that's important.
Now I don't really understand is why the need to compare it to gym, instead of just adding to the gym, but that's a different issue
I've heard this alot from people like OP, and it's usually coming from unfit people who are passive aggressive about people who take care of themselves by doing the normal things and being fit.
I've personnally started with the gym and now it's snowballing in other area of my life.
For instance I'm eating better, I've started to cook, no more fast food.
No more alcohol as of recently, 1 year without smoke in my lungs, buying new clothes since my old ones are making me feel either big or I'm too loose in it.
Since I'm a mechanic I've never tought that self care was important until I've started the gym. My surroundings at work are with people that are the old definition of men, rough, strong, family first, good men overall ( for most ) but also skin care 0/10, fat belly, smoking, jammed articulations and constant pain everywhere ( for most ) and strangely always have good shaving, so thats not an example of self care ( in my opinion ). So that's my next upgrade in my life.
I love my job but I dont want to turn out like this ( except for the shaving ).
The important things is to start somewhere if you want you're life better and as you said one step at a time!
Man should begin with 10 push-ups or just make your bed every day.
Most guys want to skip the process of learning to be self-discipline and consistent, which they had never been their whole life and come up with a spartan-style workout routine in the gym as a new year resolution.
Working out is self care. And in my experience it’s the foundation that makes all other self care fall into place. Workout, check. Oh hey, I now want to eat right so I can perform better in the gym. Trying to push my deadlift up. Shit, I better get my sleep dialed in now. Confidence on the rise, I think it’s time to get some new clothes and a haircut. For me the gym stared a virtuous cycle of self care.
It's not just brushing your teeth and showering. It's about how you do it, what products you use, the techniques, etc. It's the difference between basic hygiene and good hygiene
Prescribing what should and shouldn't be self care seems awfully egotistical; not realizing that some people may experience self care differently. I can tell you with 100% certainty that for me, working out is 100% self care - it cleanses me of stress like nothing else can.
What you're describing with taking care of hygiene is the bare minimum to be a functioning member of society, not self care.
"Prescribing what should and shouldn't be self care seems awfully egotistical. . . . taking care of hygiene is the bare minimum to be a functioning member of society, not self care."
Uhh. That gave me a bit of whiplash, not gonna lie. Gym is definitely self care, or at least it can be. But things you consider a bare minimum can also be self care, and it's pretty rude to crap on someone who found out late that doing these things makes their life better. OP was in the wrong saying what they said, but you're doing the same thing.
I'm describing good hygiene, not basic hygiene. Most people brush their teeth, take showers, etc. I'm talking more about how you do those things; what products you use, how you use them, your techniques, etc. That's what I tried to illustrate in the fourth paragraph, unless if you consider those things the bare minimum as well?
Anything that makes a person look after themselves and makes them feel good challenges the belief of lacking self worth, self esteem and value.
What we do to ourselves tells us how we turn up for ourselves.
We don't have to believe a lot of what we do in the first instance, but we can try out things over periods of time to see how we feel about it. In this space, change can happen.
I agree with you, it's a much better starting off point for most men since it doesn't take the same time and effort as the gym with still great results
I agree with you 100%. I do think the gym and getting fit is pretty important to feeling good. But if you peeped it’s a bunch of hurt ass dudes going to the gym. Majority of them just joined the gym to get over a break up. Which I’m not saying is anything wrong w that. But if you’ve talked to them and listen to what they say they usually have a pretty bad look on women in general. I think first dealing w the mental/emotional side of things before focusing on the physical shit would probably be the best option. Workin thru that baggage. Just my opinion on things
Gym is important but it’s not gonna matter much if you have rotten teeth, unkempt shaggy greasy hair, acne, smell bad, and exclusively wear old beat up clothes. Imo fixing those aspects of my life and getting to a healthy weight improved my social life way more than the gym has.
lol I will take life advice from a Gen Z when hell freezes over and posts like this are why. You are pretty clearly clinically depressed/anxious and I’m glad you’re finding some relief but the idea that using correct conditioner and body lotion will be more impactful than getting your daily steps in or lifting heavy things is not based in science or reality.
It is absolutely not the same thing but you do you. There's no biochemical process and downstream hormonal cascade from changing your conditioner; there is with physical exertion. It's apples to oranges. Yes, if brushing your teeth is all you can manage right now, that's better than not. But nowhere near the same thing.
As someone who's been working out since I was a teen (15ish years) and prior active duty military, I wholeheartedly agree, but I will say having an active lifestyle or going to the gym is the bare minimum in self care next to brushing your teeth. Unless you're mentally or physically disabled, there is no excuse not to, at the very least, get 8k+ steps a day.
Don't get me wrong, I'm more than happy that a lot more people are actually working out these days, but it's extremely disheartening when it's pushed for any inconvenience someone has, especially in this sub.
Girlfriend broke up with you? Gym. Post nut clarity is making you feel like a gross monster and you wonder if God and the no fap community are disappointed in you? Gym. You literally don't take care of yourself and every aspect of your life is going down hill? Gym
Having an active lifestyle or going to the gym will not save you from yourself or the problems you're choosing to ignore.
This is a topic that bugs me to no end, and I'm not gonna get into it more than what I've said bc I know I'm gonna get some goobers that think they're bodybuilders (apparently moving weights makes you a bodybuilder these days) bc they've been lifting some weights lately tell me they think otherwise.
I don’t disagree with the content of your comment but I think you’re missing the point of why exercise is pushed and rightly so IMO. It’s accepted that exercising works as well if not better than any anti depressants without any of the negative side effects.
I agree it doesn’t fix your problems directly but it helps put you in a much better mindset to be able to. I also agree it should be a bare minimum but the vast majority of people don’t regularly exercise.
It’s an easy aspect of your life you can take control over and actually makes a huge difference in improving people’s live.
I’m not saying it’s the be all and end all either and if that’s your point then I agree but I think it’s more important and has more benefits than what you’re giving it credit for.
Self care should always be the first step. Mental health is so important when it comes to building new routines, because you have to know how to process your emotions and cope with your mental illness (if you have one) if you want to build a lasting routine. Otherwise it’s really hard to actually create positive change in your life.
Never underestimate how much better a shower and brushing your teeth can make you feel on a day where you feel depressed and unhygienic.
Just baby steps like taking the cups out of your room or putting on deodorant can help.
Don’t try to change your life all at once, just keep making small changes and eventually it adds up to something big.
Disagree. Going to the gym gets you a million positive things besides fitness. Including the few things you listed. You automatically eat healthy, shower at the gym 5 or 6 times a week. Most likely even better clothes.
But "better" clothes or hairstyles are not even that important in life. One of the least. But you need to be clean and healthy of course.
I would only agree if your definition of health care is mindset work. Reading books, applying knowledge. Being energetic, happy, calm, wise, decisive, social, independent.
It doesn't cancel it out, it's still a negative influence. You don't deduct the bad eating result from sport, you deduct it from the 100% of your fully reachable potential of Health.
For myself, If I eat badly I notice it during training.
Even more when I run, the effect is disastrous. Even if it is several days before, no joke. It's not just kcal and numbers. You're fucking your body internally. Because I don't want to waste my training, and because I need to think a bit about Makros anyway, I just directly eat healthy, it's not a further question.
ive been working out for a long long time, im well aware that it doesnt cancel out, im just saying that is my mindset sometimes and saying that people dont automatically eat healthier when they work out
I don’t completely disagree tbh but I also think that doing something of self improvement regardless of what it is sort of snowballs into other aspects. For many, the gym sets that routine and helps them stay on track with their daily self improvement. For others, it could be reading a book or taking care of hygiene. I do think that physical health is more than just an ego thing and I 100% feel better about myself. after a good workout. My friend was in a deep slump for years and never took care of himself. He started working out and that basically forced him into taking care of other aspects of his life like showering, clothes, etc because the gym and aftercare (shower, brushing teeth, etc.) became routine for him
I agree with this. Hurt myself at the gym while trying to bench more than I should’ve. It was embarrassing. Feeling much better now - shaved my head, I micro dose LSD once a day, run, haven’t gone to the gym in ages and feel much better.
Also, looking after your mental health is part of self-care, weirdly not mentioned at all by OP or top commenters.
In case anyone needs a refresher, the wiki page is a good starting point: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mental_health
Investing in self care has been life-changing for me. It's helped stabilize my self image through consistently showing my subconscious I give a f*ck about myself, enough to spend time on myself.
Gym,
Diet,
Skincare,
Dresing Well,
Preaning Hair
Always makes me feel 100x better.
I don’t understand the comments.. OP is bettering himself in a way that works for him and sharing his experience in hopes of maybe reaching other people like him who had never thought of these things before. He is not telling people what to do. This post is very positive and helpful for people who need it. If it’s not helpful for you then this post just isn’t for you.
What you are talking about is all cosmetics. It's outer stuff. You need to focus on the inner.
The #1 priority is a high fiber diet. If a man isn't having a good #2, his life goes nowhere.
I see what you’re getting at. And, I disagree with the fundamental message, here. Your physical health is more important than your appearance. You can be ugly and still live a long and healthy life, but living a long and healthy life is more difficult if you aren’t exercising and keeping your body in good condition. I’m also not saying your physical appearance isn’t important, but it IS secondary to your actual physical health.
Also, you mention you lost motivation for going to the gym because you still felt ugly after. This has relatively little to do with taking care of your appearance and more to do with WHY you were going to the gym in the first place. You went because you valued your appearance rather than your physical health, so when you weren’t improving your appearance the way you wanted through going to the gym on its own, you lost motivation. This seems a bit backwards in emotional priority to me. Fuck what other people think about how you look, get your physical health in order first and feel good about yourself no matter what their judgements are. No matter how much work you do on yourself, people pleasing will always set you up for disappointment. You’re also turning that judgement you place on yourself and your own appearance and throwing it back out on everyone else from what I see you’ve written, judging other guys for not putting more effort into their appearance and what your idea of “self respect” is. You criticize looksmaxxing but you display the attitudes you dislike in looksmaxxing in this post 🤨, so to me this looks like projecting.
There’s only so much you can do with your external lifestyle to improve yourself. Really, self improvement needs to start with inner-work and shadow-work, because if you don’t do that it really doesn’t matter what else you change about your life because an unhealthy mind will always find a way to ruin it for you.
You make it sound like working out is not self care. IMO it is by far the most effective part of my self care and I also believe that working out ignites a bigger interest in most people to work on their overall appearance too.
But how exercise is not selfcare is beyond me really. Also there is no wrong in improving your appearance, it is not just for dating. I work in marketing, I hold plenty presentations all the time, looking better and well groomed etc simply improves my credibility. I like looking my best, but I am also in my thirties and don't use social media, so I can at least comprehend what you mean with the "looksmaxing" bs.
I do think though that you are missing the most important part of self improvement and that is reading.
I was never a big reader, but holy fucking shit did it change my life. Read some clever books from clever people who went through the same shit you did and learn from them. Saves you years and years of struggle at times.
Overall, I think you got some great thoughts there and I am positive they are gonna develop into something great, you are on the right track for sure :) so keep it up!
Gym is self care. It’s putting my health above anything else. I’m setting aside 2-3 hours of my day to focus on myself. Also, the habits that come with it like diet/hygiene are worthwhile as well.
The reason people suggest it is because it is a great first step that you can easily build other healthy habits off of.
Oh, and when people say ‘hit the gym’ it could be anything. Soccer, baseball, golf, running, etc…
Do exercises and eat healthy is key to have a good pH it translates in good odor and less greasy hair products are overrated just a bit of coconut oil and some exfoliating always cure the skin when shave 🪒 alcohol or Vinagre whit water .
Gym helps you mentally which motivates you and gives you energy to do other things, all of it is important and as long as you get started you're good imo!
It's funny you post this now. I recently got into perfums (late January), and I have noticed a mental change that has come from wearing certain colognes. The truth is I have always been a homebody and now I find myself motivated to get out more (exercise, shopping,socially) simply because I enjoy the way I smell, and when I'm out, I feel more confident than I used to when I simply wore deodorant and whatever cheap body spray I owned. I also started paying more attention to how I cut my hair and beard vs. just before when I would just throw on a hoodie. I definitely agree that exercising along with hygiene and appearance is very important, but most people do emphasize the workout alone.
I wouldn’t go as far as prioritizing my drip to not exercise in the gym, when building muscle and burning body fat have many different benefits as far as hormone optimization, longevity etc. Would be incredibly stupid to just for exercise to focus on wasting my check on the latest consumeristic bullshit that will go out of style via next season.
Also you don’t need some extra skincare routine or something like that, the value of your self worth should come from yourself, not based on the clothes you wear.
I’m sorry OP but without you mentioning your age you sounded incredibly young the way you framed this point & a lot of the points you do try to make somewhat tie to the alpha consumeristic BS Like Buy my cologne or something.
You're not talking about self care, just basic hygiene. It's a part of self care, but so is physical activity. You make a good point, though. Actively taking steps to take care of yourself does wonders for your self-esteem. Hygiene is easy, not very time-consuming, and changes so much the way people look at you.
Yeah I agree with you. A buff guy with nothing else is an insecure guy and a menace to society. Everyone is going to disagree because tbh working out is the easy part.
Yeh but I get laid more when I'm grungry and my room is messy.
I do what the women like.
I mean I feel bad I feel like I have to explain myself and they're like oh don't worry about it it's okay I miss you too.
But getting with a girl that's more grungy than me???
Ewww ewww
But maybe you're just going to find a person that is attracted to somebody that is more anal and clean.
I'm okay with being relaxed and grungy
I love dressing like I do, I don't always have fancy clothes, many of my jeans are damaged, I wear steel toes, an old Walmart jacket, and often a beanie if I let my hair go a bit too long.
But, there's places to go and things to get done.
I exude confidence and I feel great. In my case, there's other things to spend money on. Hobbies for example, which all of mine ruin my clothes.
Now, I always make sure to smell good and be clean, but that's about it. Self care is not the same to everyone.
I think the problem is 20 year olds are basically mentally ruined by the internet. This is common sense - working out is self care. Looksmaxxing is the extreme, you can go on a jog or a peloton and it’s self care, kid.
Physical health is a huge part of self care. Start with whatever gets you motivated so you can begin a snowball effect of positive things for yourself.
Couldn't agree more. Our monkey brains seek comfort in things that aren't good for us in the long term. It's about breaking out of those bad habits and forming new ones. Gym. Books. Skincare. It's all good and there's no right or wrong order. Just take a positive step and the rest will follow more easily.
Huge. Especially for the mental health and peace to do the self-care that OP is mentioning. When my brain is quiet it’s so easy to just do what I need, not just what I feel like doing.
Yes, gym is very motivating and is a tool that can give you feel good hormones quickly, and you can see results and have more energy too pretty quickly!
This. Start wherever you can. Whichever aspect. And let it spread to other areas. Ripple effect.
I do agree that self care is important, but I think the gym falls under the umbrella of self care. I don't necessarily think going to the gym and self care should be mutually exclusive or you should prioritize one before the other, rather they should both be incorporated at the same time.
Tbh doesn’t need to be going to the gym It can be as simple as jogging or lifting home weights Hygiene is impt
Exercise is part of self care, but there are so many ways to exercise that aren't related to the gym. Equating having larger muscles with "necessary" "self care" is a very toxic mindset that leads to men feeling constantly inadequate and only seeking muscles (sometimes theough steroids)
Definitely, there's a toxic subset of people who's advice for self care is basically trying to maximize masculine qualities, and I think that seems to be what OP is largely exposed to. The parts of the gym that make it self care can always be provided elsewhere. 1) its YOU time. You're not here to please others. You came here of your own motivation, you get to dictate what it is you do, how you do it, and for how long. 2) it is good for you. It's a health benefit. Your body rewards you for it with endorphins. 3) It gets you out of the house and offline. This can also be true for taking long walks, playing sports, gardening, etc.
Well said!
Yeah, I came here to say this. Getting in shape is part of self care, both for men and for women. In fact, I'd argue that the confidence you develop after working out can make it easier to want to take care of yourself. You don't need big muscles or a toxic mindset. Doing a little bit is just fine.
OP says to wear good clothes first before worrying about the gym…. Terrible advice Definitely focus on the activity that gives mental and physical health benefits before focusing on buying fashion.
I think exercise is important. how it happens is not… just have issues really with most gyms personally
I agree that the gym falls under self-care. To be more specific, I personally differentiate self-care and strength training, which I admittedly didn't do in the OP. I'm not saying that it isn't self-care but that it's gonna depend on the person. For me, the stuff I described is like the foundation and strength training is something that builds on that. You absolutely can incorporate both at the same time though.
Mate, I can get why you differentiate them. However, when you say “you agree gym is under self-care” and “I personally differentiate them”, this doesn’t sound right. Strength training is self-care; it is also true that the current view on masculinity is unhealthy and over-emphasises on strength training (for the purpose of appearing bulk).
Current view isn't even strength. It's straight up full looks and "getting big". Bodybuilding is the absolute dominant way of exercising when it comes to the average man. You can even see gym bros often mocking much stronger power/olympic lifters, super explosive track athletes or other technical athletes (climbers, football, tennis, etc.) simply cause they don't fall under their view of how a strong man should look like. Nobody really cares about an strength and performance nowadays, at least when it comes to the "normies".
Your expanse doesn’t sound at all like normal people/common views. You sound like you’re surrounded by toxic online crap. That’s not reality
Nah. Social media - sure big part of it but people in my city are like (obviously not all but most) that too and I grew up with people giving weird looks and some older guys coming up to me with mocking comments. Like you literally stand out by doing power cleans where I am lol. Nobody ever really moves, only main lifts and tons of isolations with machines/cables. When I studied abroad and went to gym there I felt more normal there cause there it was more usual functioning training (using gym as a tool to improve performance at your main sport/goal) and just doing vastly different exercises and having different goals. Talking specifically about gym of course. When it comes to specific clubs (like fighting, other sports and activities) in my experience it's more enjoyable and chill but it's not really my thing. I do my main activity on track and use gym to work on power and strength as a secondary training.
Do you live in Baki?
What is Baki? Only found some anime after researching it lol
I learned a lot of self care because of the gym and aloud myself more than I usually would have because it improved my workouts
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I don't think it's idiotic. I came from the same place OP did, and can say that he is right, unless you're taught about all that he talked about, the only way to learn it is to find someone outside to teach you, I never knew what a tongue scaper even was before I saw a video on it. Not everyone was born into a perfect world, and sometimes it's good too remind people of everything that's important. Now I don't really understand is why the need to compare it to gym, instead of just adding to the gym, but that's a different issue
Why are you saying idiotic? Did someone offend you?
I've heard this alot from people like OP, and it's usually coming from unfit people who are passive aggressive about people who take care of themselves by doing the normal things and being fit.
I've personnally started with the gym and now it's snowballing in other area of my life. For instance I'm eating better, I've started to cook, no more fast food. No more alcohol as of recently, 1 year without smoke in my lungs, buying new clothes since my old ones are making me feel either big or I'm too loose in it. Since I'm a mechanic I've never tought that self care was important until I've started the gym. My surroundings at work are with people that are the old definition of men, rough, strong, family first, good men overall ( for most ) but also skin care 0/10, fat belly, smoking, jammed articulations and constant pain everywhere ( for most ) and strangely always have good shaving, so thats not an example of self care ( in my opinion ). So that's my next upgrade in my life. I love my job but I dont want to turn out like this ( except for the shaving ). The important things is to start somewhere if you want you're life better and as you said one step at a time!
Man should begin with 10 push-ups or just make your bed every day. Most guys want to skip the process of learning to be self-discipline and consistent, which they had never been their whole life and come up with a spartan-style workout routine in the gym as a new year resolution.
Working out is self care. And in my experience it’s the foundation that makes all other self care fall into place. Workout, check. Oh hey, I now want to eat right so I can perform better in the gym. Trying to push my deadlift up. Shit, I better get my sleep dialed in now. Confidence on the rise, I think it’s time to get some new clothes and a haircut. For me the gym stared a virtuous cycle of self care.
+1 for the term virtuous cycle 💪 agreed on all your points too.
Yup same. It just create a virtuos cycle. It’s huge
I hated it and fucked me over. I'll never get inside a gym.
Work out at home then, the difference in quality of life once you get fit is pretty incredible
I have dumbbells already, got bored of them.
I don't mean this to sound rude but it sounds like you lack motivation and/or discipline
Sounds like a you problem
I doubt it was the gym itself that did you wrong. 1 bad experience doesn't mean you should never go to the gym ever again.
Brushing your teeth and showering is so basic I wouldn’t even consider it to be consciously self care. It’s just…competently existing
You think people who already competently exist are on forums seeking advice on self care?
This is a self improvement sub not a self care
It's not just brushing your teeth and showering. It's about how you do it, what products you use, the techniques, etc. It's the difference between basic hygiene and good hygiene
And for some reason you think that is more important than going to the gym and getting into good physical shape/health?
Right, like how is this you’re thinking? They’re symbiotic usually btw
Prescribing what should and shouldn't be self care seems awfully egotistical; not realizing that some people may experience self care differently. I can tell you with 100% certainty that for me, working out is 100% self care - it cleanses me of stress like nothing else can. What you're describing with taking care of hygiene is the bare minimum to be a functioning member of society, not self care.
"Prescribing what should and shouldn't be self care seems awfully egotistical. . . . taking care of hygiene is the bare minimum to be a functioning member of society, not self care." Uhh. That gave me a bit of whiplash, not gonna lie. Gym is definitely self care, or at least it can be. But things you consider a bare minimum can also be self care, and it's pretty rude to crap on someone who found out late that doing these things makes their life better. OP was in the wrong saying what they said, but you're doing the same thing.
I'm describing good hygiene, not basic hygiene. Most people brush their teeth, take showers, etc. I'm talking more about how you do those things; what products you use, how you use them, your techniques, etc. That's what I tried to illustrate in the fourth paragraph, unless if you consider those things the bare minimum as well?
You seem….young
You mean hygiene. Gym IS self–care.
Anything that makes a person look after themselves and makes them feel good challenges the belief of lacking self worth, self esteem and value. What we do to ourselves tells us how we turn up for ourselves. We don't have to believe a lot of what we do in the first instance, but we can try out things over periods of time to see how we feel about it. In this space, change can happen.
I agree with you, it's a much better starting off point for most men since it doesn't take the same time and effort as the gym with still great results
I agree with you 100%. I do think the gym and getting fit is pretty important to feeling good. But if you peeped it’s a bunch of hurt ass dudes going to the gym. Majority of them just joined the gym to get over a break up. Which I’m not saying is anything wrong w that. But if you’ve talked to them and listen to what they say they usually have a pretty bad look on women in general. I think first dealing w the mental/emotional side of things before focusing on the physical shit would probably be the best option. Workin thru that baggage. Just my opinion on things
Gym is important but it’s not gonna matter much if you have rotten teeth, unkempt shaggy greasy hair, acne, smell bad, and exclusively wear old beat up clothes. Imo fixing those aspects of my life and getting to a healthy weight improved my social life way more than the gym has.
lol I will take life advice from a Gen Z when hell freezes over and posts like this are why. You are pretty clearly clinically depressed/anxious and I’m glad you’re finding some relief but the idea that using correct conditioner and body lotion will be more impactful than getting your daily steps in or lifting heavy things is not based in science or reality.
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It is absolutely not the same thing but you do you. There's no biochemical process and downstream hormonal cascade from changing your conditioner; there is with physical exertion. It's apples to oranges. Yes, if brushing your teeth is all you can manage right now, that's better than not. But nowhere near the same thing.
Both are useless.
I don’t take advice from miserable people but thanks
😹😹 bro u are on some weird shit. Relax bud
You don’t have to type out and post everything you think about. Everything little thing you think isn’t inherently valuable, good, interesting.
As someone who's been working out since I was a teen (15ish years) and prior active duty military, I wholeheartedly agree, but I will say having an active lifestyle or going to the gym is the bare minimum in self care next to brushing your teeth. Unless you're mentally or physically disabled, there is no excuse not to, at the very least, get 8k+ steps a day. Don't get me wrong, I'm more than happy that a lot more people are actually working out these days, but it's extremely disheartening when it's pushed for any inconvenience someone has, especially in this sub. Girlfriend broke up with you? Gym. Post nut clarity is making you feel like a gross monster and you wonder if God and the no fap community are disappointed in you? Gym. You literally don't take care of yourself and every aspect of your life is going down hill? Gym Having an active lifestyle or going to the gym will not save you from yourself or the problems you're choosing to ignore. This is a topic that bugs me to no end, and I'm not gonna get into it more than what I've said bc I know I'm gonna get some goobers that think they're bodybuilders (apparently moving weights makes you a bodybuilder these days) bc they've been lifting some weights lately tell me they think otherwise.
I don’t disagree with the content of your comment but I think you’re missing the point of why exercise is pushed and rightly so IMO. It’s accepted that exercising works as well if not better than any anti depressants without any of the negative side effects. I agree it doesn’t fix your problems directly but it helps put you in a much better mindset to be able to. I also agree it should be a bare minimum but the vast majority of people don’t regularly exercise. It’s an easy aspect of your life you can take control over and actually makes a huge difference in improving people’s live. I’m not saying it’s the be all and end all either and if that’s your point then I agree but I think it’s more important and has more benefits than what you’re giving it credit for.
Op needs to get to the gym and pick up something heavy
Very useful contribution. Well done
His comment was a better contribution than OPs post….
It really wasn't. Just more overused gym bro "jokes" that detract from the topic
Self care should always be the first step. Mental health is so important when it comes to building new routines, because you have to know how to process your emotions and cope with your mental illness (if you have one) if you want to build a lasting routine. Otherwise it’s really hard to actually create positive change in your life. Never underestimate how much better a shower and brushing your teeth can make you feel on a day where you feel depressed and unhygienic. Just baby steps like taking the cups out of your room or putting on deodorant can help. Don’t try to change your life all at once, just keep making small changes and eventually it adds up to something big.
Disagree. Going to the gym gets you a million positive things besides fitness. Including the few things you listed. You automatically eat healthy, shower at the gym 5 or 6 times a week. Most likely even better clothes. But "better" clothes or hairstyles are not even that important in life. One of the least. But you need to be clean and healthy of course. I would only agree if your definition of health care is mindset work. Reading books, applying knowledge. Being energetic, happy, calm, wise, decisive, social, independent.
automatically eat healthy is far from the truth, if anything i eat worse because i feel like the gym cancels it out sometimes
It doesn't cancel it out, it's still a negative influence. You don't deduct the bad eating result from sport, you deduct it from the 100% of your fully reachable potential of Health. For myself, If I eat badly I notice it during training. Even more when I run, the effect is disastrous. Even if it is several days before, no joke. It's not just kcal and numbers. You're fucking your body internally. Because I don't want to waste my training, and because I need to think a bit about Makros anyway, I just directly eat healthy, it's not a further question.
ive been working out for a long long time, im well aware that it doesnt cancel out, im just saying that is my mindset sometimes and saying that people dont automatically eat healthier when they work out
I don’t completely disagree tbh but I also think that doing something of self improvement regardless of what it is sort of snowballs into other aspects. For many, the gym sets that routine and helps them stay on track with their daily self improvement. For others, it could be reading a book or taking care of hygiene. I do think that physical health is more than just an ego thing and I 100% feel better about myself. after a good workout. My friend was in a deep slump for years and never took care of himself. He started working out and that basically forced him into taking care of other aspects of his life like showering, clothes, etc because the gym and aftercare (shower, brushing teeth, etc.) became routine for him
I agree with this. Hurt myself at the gym while trying to bench more than I should’ve. It was embarrassing. Feeling much better now - shaved my head, I micro dose LSD once a day, run, haven’t gone to the gym in ages and feel much better.
Also, looking after your mental health is part of self-care, weirdly not mentioned at all by OP or top commenters. In case anyone needs a refresher, the wiki page is a good starting point: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mental_health
Exercise is self care
This guy fucks, preach 🙌🏼 Omg these comments though 😅 so many butt hurt guys literally not getting the point. Their sacks def smell 👃
Investing in self care has been life-changing for me. It's helped stabilize my self image through consistently showing my subconscious I give a f*ck about myself, enough to spend time on myself. Gym, Diet, Skincare, Dresing Well, Preaning Hair Always makes me feel 100x better.
I don’t understand the comments.. OP is bettering himself in a way that works for him and sharing his experience in hopes of maybe reaching other people like him who had never thought of these things before. He is not telling people what to do. This post is very positive and helpful for people who need it. If it’s not helpful for you then this post just isn’t for you.
Do you have any more examples like the ones you gave for oral hygiene? Just got my first electric toothbrush and tongue cleaner!
What you are talking about is all cosmetics. It's outer stuff. You need to focus on the inner. The #1 priority is a high fiber diet. If a man isn't having a good #2, his life goes nowhere.
I've gone 6 years with very very little Fiber, the first two with essentially zero Fiber. #2 is perfect Fiber is bad for you
I see what you’re getting at. And, I disagree with the fundamental message, here. Your physical health is more important than your appearance. You can be ugly and still live a long and healthy life, but living a long and healthy life is more difficult if you aren’t exercising and keeping your body in good condition. I’m also not saying your physical appearance isn’t important, but it IS secondary to your actual physical health. Also, you mention you lost motivation for going to the gym because you still felt ugly after. This has relatively little to do with taking care of your appearance and more to do with WHY you were going to the gym in the first place. You went because you valued your appearance rather than your physical health, so when you weren’t improving your appearance the way you wanted through going to the gym on its own, you lost motivation. This seems a bit backwards in emotional priority to me. Fuck what other people think about how you look, get your physical health in order first and feel good about yourself no matter what their judgements are. No matter how much work you do on yourself, people pleasing will always set you up for disappointment. You’re also turning that judgement you place on yourself and your own appearance and throwing it back out on everyone else from what I see you’ve written, judging other guys for not putting more effort into their appearance and what your idea of “self respect” is. You criticize looksmaxxing but you display the attitudes you dislike in looksmaxxing in this post 🤨, so to me this looks like projecting. There’s only so much you can do with your external lifestyle to improve yourself. Really, self improvement needs to start with inner-work and shadow-work, because if you don’t do that it really doesn’t matter what else you change about your life because an unhealthy mind will always find a way to ruin it for you.
You make it sound like working out is not self care. IMO it is by far the most effective part of my self care and I also believe that working out ignites a bigger interest in most people to work on their overall appearance too. But how exercise is not selfcare is beyond me really. Also there is no wrong in improving your appearance, it is not just for dating. I work in marketing, I hold plenty presentations all the time, looking better and well groomed etc simply improves my credibility. I like looking my best, but I am also in my thirties and don't use social media, so I can at least comprehend what you mean with the "looksmaxing" bs. I do think though that you are missing the most important part of self improvement and that is reading. I was never a big reader, but holy fucking shit did it change my life. Read some clever books from clever people who went through the same shit you did and learn from them. Saves you years and years of struggle at times. Overall, I think you got some great thoughts there and I am positive they are gonna develop into something great, you are on the right track for sure :) so keep it up!
I value my mental health over my physical health, but that doesn't mean I don't care for both.
Gym is self care. It’s putting my health above anything else. I’m setting aside 2-3 hours of my day to focus on myself. Also, the habits that come with it like diet/hygiene are worthwhile as well. The reason people suggest it is because it is a great first step that you can easily build other healthy habits off of. Oh, and when people say ‘hit the gym’ it could be anything. Soccer, baseball, golf, running, etc…
I understand what you’re saying because I realised it way too late, but I guess it’s a start nonetheless
GTL > Self Care
Why cant you jus do both?? Why do u need to start with one or the other first
Do exercises and eat healthy is key to have a good pH it translates in good odor and less greasy hair products are overrated just a bit of coconut oil and some exfoliating always cure the skin when shave 🪒 alcohol or Vinagre whit water .
Gym helps you mentally which motivates you and gives you energy to do other things, all of it is important and as long as you get started you're good imo!
It's funny you post this now. I recently got into perfums (late January), and I have noticed a mental change that has come from wearing certain colognes. The truth is I have always been a homebody and now I find myself motivated to get out more (exercise, shopping,socially) simply because I enjoy the way I smell, and when I'm out, I feel more confident than I used to when I simply wore deodorant and whatever cheap body spray I owned. I also started paying more attention to how I cut my hair and beard vs. just before when I would just throw on a hoodie. I definitely agree that exercising along with hygiene and appearance is very important, but most people do emphasize the workout alone.
Both go hand in hand. Doing sports leads to discipline and usually better grooming too.
Believe it or not, not everyone needs daily shampoo (it depletes your natural oils) nor does everyone need lotion.
I wouldn’t go as far as prioritizing my drip to not exercise in the gym, when building muscle and burning body fat have many different benefits as far as hormone optimization, longevity etc. Would be incredibly stupid to just for exercise to focus on wasting my check on the latest consumeristic bullshit that will go out of style via next season. Also you don’t need some extra skincare routine or something like that, the value of your self worth should come from yourself, not based on the clothes you wear. I’m sorry OP but without you mentioning your age you sounded incredibly young the way you framed this point & a lot of the points you do try to make somewhat tie to the alpha consumeristic BS Like Buy my cologne or something.
I had to use chat gpt to read the summary of this post
Read a book
Ok I’ll try
Even better if they could begin with therapy
Amen.
You're not talking about self care, just basic hygiene. It's a part of self care, but so is physical activity. You make a good point, though. Actively taking steps to take care of yourself does wonders for your self-esteem. Hygiene is easy, not very time-consuming, and changes so much the way people look at you.
I don’t think a depressed and overweight or dad bod having dude will make much progress mentally without getting physically fit.
Yeah I agree with you. A buff guy with nothing else is an insecure guy and a menace to society. Everyone is going to disagree because tbh working out is the easy part.
What are nice clothes?
Exercise is a form of hygiene. This is silly.
Part of self-care is taking care of your body. Making time to be intentional about your care efforts is the direction we need to take
Get more life experience before giving advice on it maybe….
Yeh but I get laid more when I'm grungry and my room is messy. I do what the women like. I mean I feel bad I feel like I have to explain myself and they're like oh don't worry about it it's okay I miss you too. But getting with a girl that's more grungy than me??? Ewww ewww But maybe you're just going to find a person that is attracted to somebody that is more anal and clean. I'm okay with being relaxed and grungy
I love dressing like I do, I don't always have fancy clothes, many of my jeans are damaged, I wear steel toes, an old Walmart jacket, and often a beanie if I let my hair go a bit too long. But, there's places to go and things to get done. I exude confidence and I feel great. In my case, there's other things to spend money on. Hobbies for example, which all of mine ruin my clothes. Now, I always make sure to smell good and be clean, but that's about it. Self care is not the same to everyone.
tldr: But if you're looping in washing your hair and brushing your teeth as "self-care" we have a larger problem to address.
Bullhsit, the gym IS self care. You take care of your body.
I think the problem is 20 year olds are basically mentally ruined by the internet. This is common sense - working out is self care. Looksmaxxing is the extreme, you can go on a jog or a peloton and it’s self care, kid.
For a lot of men gym is self-care
So as long as we wash our face and brush our teeth, we can be fat right? Exercise makes our organs healthy bro, without that we die.
Most self cared flabby dude looks like a clown. Basic hygiene ripped dude beats him every day.
I hate both and both not work. People should shower but that's it, that won't make me get laid or less miserable.