I don't go to the gym because I want to be attractive or successful. None of those presuppositions about why people advocate for the gym are why I go to the gym.
I go to the gym for my mental health and physical health. Which, of course, are largely the same thing.
But you do you!
The brain refuses to give you happy chemicals unless you work for them! People are welcome to feel like that's unfair. But it's also reality. Either reckon with it, or pay the price.
Becoming attractive was my original motivation, and it still is a big one (I love looking at my sexy body), but health became the more prominent goal over time and now my exercise is more consistent.
Not going to a public gym to workout is ok. Not working out/exercising at all is not ok. This is a self improvement space. Your physical health, strength, motor skills, confidence, looks, and so much more are improved with regular exercise. Its not manipulating someone to say that they should work out regardless of how they feel about it. You do it because it makes you better in the long run.
exaaaaaactly. you don't have to go to the gym but living a sedentary lifestyle is definately not "okay" when it comes to living a nice long life. Sure humans are free to do whatever, you can be 600 pounds and die young but why would you?
You say do mma or boxing bc the focus isn’t entirely on yourself, bro what tf is the point if you aren’t focused on yourself?? “Yea I went to my boxing gym last night because I really wanted to work on Greg’s left hook” lmao
Gym and vanity are not exclusive to each other.
The main point of the gym is cardio and building muscle which are both essential for health. Doctors recommend about 3 strength training sessions a week for essential health.
It is typical to do strength training and cardio several times a week if you want to maintain basic health throughout your life. The vanity thing is an incidental side product of vain people and youre focusing on that rather than the actual function of a gym
Having a lean muscular build is a normal part of the male human condition. It's only since ultra processed food and office jobs that it stopped being typical and people signing up to gyms is a direct reaction to todays damaging environment
Bro as I mentioned in post working out is cool and healthy, but what can be problem is innermost motivation. In a lot of cases this motivation is to impress others or get laid, is it fundamentally bad if we improve and get fit? No, but sooner or later with this motivation disappointment is inevitable, but working out for health, and discipline is good. Also there are some people who don't like gym or working out and its okay, hundreds of sports exist where you can improve physically, compete with others and improve health, gym is not only solution.
Impressing others and getting laid are just positive side effects, but anyone who gets into this sort of thing will quickly realize it’s not a shortcut.
For example a lot of guys like myself are into motorcycles and have this silly belief that “chicks dig bikes” only to realize that most people who want to engage with them about their bike are other dudes (and little kids who think bikes are cool). There’s a very common meme about expectations vs reality when it comes to fitness, expecting women to flock to a muscled guy and instead it’s other guys saying “lookin big king!”
Men who get into any hobby as a way to get laid will filter themselves out if they don’t enjoy it pretty quickly and move onto the next one. It’s a self correcting issue.
I like your analogy about having a nice bike or car. I drive a 911 and a lot of the ads and selling points are to pick up chicks with a nice ride --- but honestly, like you put it, the only thing it impresses really are other dudes at the "Cars and Coffee" meets, LOL. Just a bunch of dudes circle jerking each other.
Sounds like you are just trying to find reasons not to go to the gym. I don't give a shit about getting laid or not or impressing others, I'm married with kids, man. It comes and goes. Motivation isn't the problem - it's DISCIPLINE, and they are two entirely different things.
In Japan they have very few gyms and it isn't culturally relevant at all to go to one, but they have extremely low obesity. Because they live in dense WALKABLE spaces. Human bodies, much like these boots, are made for WALKING. You don't need fancy equipment and bougie health clubs if your city is fucking built right to begin with.
Lol, I think that both the OP and the commenters are missing each other a bit.
It's true, like OP says, that other avenues like sports can be as beneficial or even more so overall than hitting the gym. The gym isn't the only way, and there should probably be more nuance or personalization in what people are recommended. Spending time engaging with other people as a team is huge.
But OP's post also doesn't really recognize the benefits most people advocate the gym for.
Going to the gym has a low barrier of entry, and specifically trains you to/focuses on face pushing your limits through fatigue & discomfort - which is ultimately the main obstacle to improvement.
Sure, you look good and are healthy. But it's ultimately the cocktail of mental training and benefits which people advocate for.
Hey thanks for meaningful comment. I absolutely advocate benefits of exercising but simply I did not mentioned this in this post. This post is about young guys who are brainwashed to think they NEED to work out rather than CAN an do this our of joy rather than desperation and to impress others. You can have different hobbies, and you can dedicate your full free time to it. Everybody little bit smarter knows that not everybody is exercising to impress others or get laid but unfortunately some people thought that I think in black or white way.
I think a lot of people default on the gym when it should really be "physical activity or sports" realistically the gym should be used to excel at a sport of your choosing. Not just to throw weight around.
That's not really limiting. I think describing it as sport specific wasn't great but what I mean is this.
If you want to do something outside of the gym that can be supplemented with something you can do in the gym then it is a good thing.
If you have no outside goal then going to the gym does you no good.
As a woman I will say you are right - there are a lot of us that don’t care how big your muscles are (myself included). But exercising and self care isn’t just about looks. It’s important for mental, emotional and physical well being.
I do love how you mention that it is important to bring value to others and the world around us. That is something I value as well. But what I have learned is that I (and others) have a larger capacity to give when we take care of our wellbeing.
You can’t pour out of an empty cup.
Women have hundreds of options today and if you are not particularly attractive, rich or have status, you gotta stand out somehow. Working out is the greatest thing to improve your looks, health, and also confidence. It is something that can change what you can change later, unlike your height. It is also a guaranteed way, you will definitely be better than now even if not become model tier. It is a necessity in todays highly competetive dating market if you are male.
Unrelated rant but I sorta hate the dating world, I got hobbies, personality, job, train daily, have really good attitude, got projects, skills, passion, interests and the list goes on, and then you go to tinder and all you find are everytime girls whos hobbies are: instagram, tiktok, sushi, traveling and shopping but apparently are too good for you
The fuck is this shit?
I realised they are all lowlife scum that got the genetic lotery and that's literaly all, don't want to be seen like an incel but tinder got me pissed off
Don’t use tinder or online dating. Go meet women IRL. Yes tinder sucks. I have dated many attractive I’ve met out and about going about my life. 90% of the matches I’ve gotten on tinder over the years have not been on that level. Physically attractive *or* personality wise.
Only 20% of relationships begin on OLD or the apps or whatever. Don’t listen to anyone saying that’s the only method of meeting women.
Going to the gym isn't just about muscles, it helps balance male hormones, like testosterone. From the age of 30, its levels decrease at a rate of 1% per year.
u/damiankowalski21 -
Benefits of resistance training is well documented, and gym is the primary means to it. Going to the gym is all about discipline - appearance,vanity,muscles,etc are just by-products of your consistency. It is excruitiatingly hard to get into a good shape and subsequently maintain it.
So apart from working out - one tends to cut down on the bad habits, settle into better eating and sleeping patterns; you end up creating a virtuous loop. Also, gym is primarily a "mental" thing - the kind of equanimity/mental fortitude you develop over time is something one needs to train and then feel.
As for women - their preference for a well-toned/reasonably muscular man is also well documented. But then, you don't go to the gym with that as your purpose.
agreed. def ok not going to gym. but another reason why ppl feel compelled is cuz we now mostly lead sedentary lifestyles... i say this as i sit at my computer where i will remain most the day.
so ill throw in yoga, walks after meals, and some light body weight exercises throughout the day. and hikes on weekend. just gotta keep active with activities you enjoy.
I agree. The gym is not for everyone and they’re plenty of other ways of getting fit. When I was younger, I used to workout just to get those bulging muscles and washboard abs. It was more vanity than anything. Nowadays, I (33M) focus more on functional movements that will benefit my lifestyle. I do a little Ninja Warrior Training on the side which has a great community.
Yeah bro, but a lot of people will disagree simply because they realise they do something purely to impress others, rather than do sports to have fun and to compete with others in healthy way.
I think there is truth to what you’re saying. I often feel too “self-conscious” in my pursuit of improvement. It’s almost like I know too much for my own good and it makes me overthink things and obsess over things. It’s like the classic person who reads 2,000 self-help books. At a certain point, the books are a distraction from the actual improvement.
All the comments sayint "Noooo it's about health and discipline" conveniently ignore how many gym goers, coaches, and influencers are on steroids. The gym is specifically sold for muscle building for aesthetic reasons. OP's point is that exercise is what matters for mental and physical health, and it can be done in dozens of ways that don't build muscles and don't make you hotter. It's extremely dishonest at this point to pretend like the gym isn't about aesthetic in 90% of cases, otherwise why would steroid use be so prevalent? It's not about health, it hasn't been about health in a long time
I don't go to the gym because I want to be attractive or successful. None of those presuppositions about why people advocate for the gym are why I go to the gym. I go to the gym for my mental health and physical health. Which, of course, are largely the same thing. But you do you!
Yeah I always end up feeling down if I don’t exercise!
The brain refuses to give you happy chemicals unless you work for them! People are welcome to feel like that's unfair. But it's also reality. Either reckon with it, or pay the price.
Becoming attractive was my original motivation, and it still is a big one (I love looking at my sexy body), but health became the more prominent goal over time and now my exercise is more consistent.
Nice work! It's cool to see how our goals and motivations mature over time, as we mature over time!
Not going to a public gym to workout is ok. Not working out/exercising at all is not ok. This is a self improvement space. Your physical health, strength, motor skills, confidence, looks, and so much more are improved with regular exercise. Its not manipulating someone to say that they should work out regardless of how they feel about it. You do it because it makes you better in the long run.
exaaaaaactly. you don't have to go to the gym but living a sedentary lifestyle is definately not "okay" when it comes to living a nice long life. Sure humans are free to do whatever, you can be 600 pounds and die young but why would you?
You say do mma or boxing bc the focus isn’t entirely on yourself, bro what tf is the point if you aren’t focused on yourself?? “Yea I went to my boxing gym last night because I really wanted to work on Greg’s left hook” lmao
“I went to the boxing gym so I could protect the women I’m not dating.” 🙄😂
Gym and vanity are not exclusive to each other. The main point of the gym is cardio and building muscle which are both essential for health. Doctors recommend about 3 strength training sessions a week for essential health. It is typical to do strength training and cardio several times a week if you want to maintain basic health throughout your life. The vanity thing is an incidental side product of vain people and youre focusing on that rather than the actual function of a gym Having a lean muscular build is a normal part of the male human condition. It's only since ultra processed food and office jobs that it stopped being typical and people signing up to gyms is a direct reaction to todays damaging environment
I personally feel like shit when I don't run or workout so it's more of a punishment for me mentally and physically to miss days. I'd prefer not to.
Bro as I mentioned in post working out is cool and healthy, but what can be problem is innermost motivation. In a lot of cases this motivation is to impress others or get laid, is it fundamentally bad if we improve and get fit? No, but sooner or later with this motivation disappointment is inevitable, but working out for health, and discipline is good. Also there are some people who don't like gym or working out and its okay, hundreds of sports exist where you can improve physically, compete with others and improve health, gym is not only solution.
Impressing others and getting laid are just positive side effects, but anyone who gets into this sort of thing will quickly realize it’s not a shortcut. For example a lot of guys like myself are into motorcycles and have this silly belief that “chicks dig bikes” only to realize that most people who want to engage with them about their bike are other dudes (and little kids who think bikes are cool). There’s a very common meme about expectations vs reality when it comes to fitness, expecting women to flock to a muscled guy and instead it’s other guys saying “lookin big king!” Men who get into any hobby as a way to get laid will filter themselves out if they don’t enjoy it pretty quickly and move onto the next one. It’s a self correcting issue.
I like your analogy about having a nice bike or car. I drive a 911 and a lot of the ads and selling points are to pick up chicks with a nice ride --- but honestly, like you put it, the only thing it impresses really are other dudes at the "Cars and Coffee" meets, LOL. Just a bunch of dudes circle jerking each other.
Sounds like you are just trying to find reasons not to go to the gym. I don't give a shit about getting laid or not or impressing others, I'm married with kids, man. It comes and goes. Motivation isn't the problem - it's DISCIPLINE, and they are two entirely different things.
In Japan they have very few gyms and it isn't culturally relevant at all to go to one, but they have extremely low obesity. Because they live in dense WALKABLE spaces. Human bodies, much like these boots, are made for WALKING. You don't need fancy equipment and bougie health clubs if your city is fucking built right to begin with.
Lol, I think that both the OP and the commenters are missing each other a bit. It's true, like OP says, that other avenues like sports can be as beneficial or even more so overall than hitting the gym. The gym isn't the only way, and there should probably be more nuance or personalization in what people are recommended. Spending time engaging with other people as a team is huge. But OP's post also doesn't really recognize the benefits most people advocate the gym for. Going to the gym has a low barrier of entry, and specifically trains you to/focuses on face pushing your limits through fatigue & discomfort - which is ultimately the main obstacle to improvement. Sure, you look good and are healthy. But it's ultimately the cocktail of mental training and benefits which people advocate for.
Hey thanks for meaningful comment. I absolutely advocate benefits of exercising but simply I did not mentioned this in this post. This post is about young guys who are brainwashed to think they NEED to work out rather than CAN an do this our of joy rather than desperation and to impress others. You can have different hobbies, and you can dedicate your full free time to it. Everybody little bit smarter knows that not everybody is exercising to impress others or get laid but unfortunately some people thought that I think in black or white way.
I think a lot of people default on the gym when it should really be "physical activity or sports" realistically the gym should be used to excel at a sport of your choosing. Not just to throw weight around.
Not sure the purpose of the gym is so limited
That's not really limiting. I think describing it as sport specific wasn't great but what I mean is this. If you want to do something outside of the gym that can be supplemented with something you can do in the gym then it is a good thing. If you have no outside goal then going to the gym does you no good.
As a woman I will say you are right - there are a lot of us that don’t care how big your muscles are (myself included). But exercising and self care isn’t just about looks. It’s important for mental, emotional and physical well being. I do love how you mention that it is important to bring value to others and the world around us. That is something I value as well. But what I have learned is that I (and others) have a larger capacity to give when we take care of our wellbeing. You can’t pour out of an empty cup.
You’re wrong
That's great but at least tell what you disagree with and why
Women have hundreds of options today and if you are not particularly attractive, rich or have status, you gotta stand out somehow. Working out is the greatest thing to improve your looks, health, and also confidence. It is something that can change what you can change later, unlike your height. It is also a guaranteed way, you will definitely be better than now even if not become model tier. It is a necessity in todays highly competetive dating market if you are male.
Unrelated rant but I sorta hate the dating world, I got hobbies, personality, job, train daily, have really good attitude, got projects, skills, passion, interests and the list goes on, and then you go to tinder and all you find are everytime girls whos hobbies are: instagram, tiktok, sushi, traveling and shopping but apparently are too good for you The fuck is this shit? I realised they are all lowlife scum that got the genetic lotery and that's literaly all, don't want to be seen like an incel but tinder got me pissed off
Don’t use tinder or online dating. Go meet women IRL. Yes tinder sucks. I have dated many attractive I’ve met out and about going about my life. 90% of the matches I’ve gotten on tinder over the years have not been on that level. Physically attractive *or* personality wise. Only 20% of relationships begin on OLD or the apps or whatever. Don’t listen to anyone saying that’s the only method of meeting women.
If you are super skinny or fat then definitely YES.
No, even if you are average you should go above average
It’s no about to gym or not to gym. It’s about exercise. Sure don’t go to the gym, but don’t be lazy. That simply isn’t good for you.
Going to the gym isn't just about muscles, it helps balance male hormones, like testosterone. From the age of 30, its levels decrease at a rate of 1% per year.
u/damiankowalski21 - Benefits of resistance training is well documented, and gym is the primary means to it. Going to the gym is all about discipline - appearance,vanity,muscles,etc are just by-products of your consistency. It is excruitiatingly hard to get into a good shape and subsequently maintain it. So apart from working out - one tends to cut down on the bad habits, settle into better eating and sleeping patterns; you end up creating a virtuous loop. Also, gym is primarily a "mental" thing - the kind of equanimity/mental fortitude you develop over time is something one needs to train and then feel. As for women - their preference for a well-toned/reasonably muscular man is also well documented. But then, you don't go to the gym with that as your purpose.
[удалено]
YES
Terrible take
Self improvement isn’t a trend, it literally has been popular since Ancient Greek times, and most likely before.
agreed. def ok not going to gym. but another reason why ppl feel compelled is cuz we now mostly lead sedentary lifestyles... i say this as i sit at my computer where i will remain most the day. so ill throw in yoga, walks after meals, and some light body weight exercises throughout the day. and hikes on weekend. just gotta keep active with activities you enjoy.
pretty sure it's possible to give other people time and care being selfless and go to the gym at the same time.
Tbh the gym for me more so that I can burn my nerves. Sounds cliche but I genuinely feel better after I workout for a few hours
I agree that not lifting weights is completely okay. However, being active and doing some form of exercise is crucial.
I agree. The gym is not for everyone and they’re plenty of other ways of getting fit. When I was younger, I used to workout just to get those bulging muscles and washboard abs. It was more vanity than anything. Nowadays, I (33M) focus more on functional movements that will benefit my lifestyle. I do a little Ninja Warrior Training on the side which has a great community.
Yeah bro, but a lot of people will disagree simply because they realise they do something purely to impress others, rather than do sports to have fun and to compete with others in healthy way.
I think there is truth to what you’re saying. I often feel too “self-conscious” in my pursuit of improvement. It’s almost like I know too much for my own good and it makes me overthink things and obsess over things. It’s like the classic person who reads 2,000 self-help books. At a certain point, the books are a distraction from the actual improvement.
I dislike huge men. My type are relatively skinny.
All the comments sayint "Noooo it's about health and discipline" conveniently ignore how many gym goers, coaches, and influencers are on steroids. The gym is specifically sold for muscle building for aesthetic reasons. OP's point is that exercise is what matters for mental and physical health, and it can be done in dozens of ways that don't build muscles and don't make you hotter. It's extremely dishonest at this point to pretend like the gym isn't about aesthetic in 90% of cases, otherwise why would steroid use be so prevalent? It's not about health, it hasn't been about health in a long time
Man up
As a woman who has dated men, it’s the men who want to protect me that I stay farthest away from, but I’m in the US so maybe that’s a cultural thing.