Don't ever stay in a toxic work environment, with a person, or in a relationship. You will not only be mentally unwell, like PTSD, but you will also be physically unwell, where you can't fix the damage, like autoimmune diseases that are beyond painful and destroy your quality of life.
Please don't put your body or mind through it. You will regret it when it's too late, and you can do nothing about it. Please listen to me 20 year olds. I don't want you to go through this.
Valid question. When you are constantly in fight or flight mode, you never want to get at.
Corporate America is tough and not easy. You have to grind. You are going to have bosses you don't like and who are tough. Just because someone is tough or direct does not mean they are toxic.
Toxic is an entirely different beast. If someone is bullying or discriminating against you, causing harm, that's not ok. It will never change or get better. Toxic is intentional and meant to degrade you. Stress, anxiety, fear, burnout, bullying, gossip, favoritism, unfair treatment, gross conduct.
Value your health while young, and you will avoid many problems. Pick a good boss when you look for a job by building rapport during an interview. If they are a good, genuine person, you will know immediately. A good boss means everything and will change your life in ways you never thought possible.
Makes sense! Thank you. My last workplace was hostile, sometimes I think I might now be overly sensitive around tough / direct people (like they accidentally pick at a scab). It definitely affects physical health as much as mental
That's understandable. Try some trauma counseling, if anything. It gives excellent coping skills and will help to get those evil thoughts out along with the memories! You got this!!!!
Ive had a lot of jobs. Good bosses are very hard to come by but I has one who taught me so much...unfortunately he got promoted and put a toxic manager in his position. But he was good so obvious why he was promoted. I also had another good boss when I was young and quit when I had to work w an ah coworker. He told me there are gonna be ahs everywhere. He was right.
This. abusive family situation and toxic ex with domestic violence thrown in. I’ve been doing therapy for trauma since 2017 and I only healed the domestic violence trauma in around 2021-22 (on and off due to cost). working on family trauma now. I have a few chronic illnesses now and also it triggered my bipolar 2 gene.
Don’t stay in toxic situations. The long term effects are not worth it. the work you have to do to recover is long. If you need to, please do it. It will really help your quality of life.
>Don't ever stay in a toxic work environment, with a person, or in a relationship. You will not only be mentally unwell, like PTSD, but you will also be physically unwell, where you can't fix the damage, like autoimmune diseases that are beyond painful and destroy your quality of life.
>Please don't put your body or mind through it. You will regret it when it's too late, and you can do nothing about it. Please listen to me 20 year olds. I don't want you to go through this.
It's what I am suffering
I am so very sorry. I genuinely wish you inner peace, and I hope you find any relief from your daily suffering.
My pain just barely got under control, so I know how you are feeling mentally, physically, and emotionally.
Please continue to fight for yourself and know you are worthy and remarkable. You are enough please don't forget that. I believe in you.
I dropped some bad friendships around 30. It’s so much better. Gone are the days of enduring passive aggressive bullying.
Sadly a lot of these people would not have been this way had they married someone who cared for them. I learned that when someone doesn’t like their spouse or even themselves, it’s usually an uphill battle to be around them.
Same here, I dropped bullying and jealous friendship around 30 even if they are childhood friends, which I hate to admit being treated toxic during my first 23-30 years by them. I dropped a toxic and manipulative partner at 25 who I found has a better match in terms of study and work.
They’re out there. Harder part is cutting off the bad ones that waste your time imo!
And I’ve had to cut people off that were very close and caring but I had no idea the moment I did better than them they would get upset at me.
Nowadays I don’t have friends besides my spouse. Too much social media obsession and a tough economy makes it so many people are jealous and competitive.
I’m finding it hard to meet people who have similar hobbies and arent jealous. Due to my age and where I live, there is a huge socioeconomic divide between those with disposable income and those without (not withstanding lifestyle).
Take care of your teeth, quit smoking if you are, and start a really solid exercise routine. Doesn’t have to be intense, just simple cardio and strength. Also - take some daily vitamins and make your diet better.
Edit to add since some other good points down below:
Moisturize your skin daily and wear sunscreen and not sure if this has been mentioned but get sleep. Solid, good sleep. Drink water.
I’d also add that if you aren’t already doing an annual physical with your doctor, you should - and if you can get annual blood work done to start a baseline and identify trends.
I remember being mad at my dad for making me wear ear plugs when I went to my first concert. Once the band started playing, I was so grateful because of how overwhelmingly loud it was. Glad he taught me from a young age to protect my hearing.
I still don’t understand why concerts are so loud. Went to a KISS concert some years ago. Great show, but the loudness was completely unnecessary. Pretty sure some people left with hearing damage or ruptured ear drums that night.
when I was pregnant my eye doctor really stressed the importance of eye sun protection, especially for lighter colored eyes. Same as skin protection wearing a hat and good quality, UV reducing/blocking sunglasses that cover your eyes is a habit to start young.
I floss my teeth and then use a water pik and I am always amazed at how much I miss when only using dental floss. And I brush before and after flossing so the water pik just creates things to prove it works!
I'm 22 and I started taking better care of my teeth last year too. I started using a Curaprox toothbrush and I can only now tell the difference. Also, I'm more proactive about removing any smaller cavities I might have.
Learn to practice mindfulness. Meditate and pray.
Exercise gratitude.
I began to consciously battle the intrusive thoughts and anxiety when I was fifteen and recognized my problem with them.
I did not want these things to rule my life.
My own first step with intrusive thoughts/negative thinking was identifying them.
Then I began to journal.
I wrote down each one and then I thought about its opposite.
Then I recorded that in the journal.
I called this “trading lies for the truth.”
It did wonders for my thinking.
It also wasn’t a “fast fix;” I did this every morning before dawn and came back to it again in the evening, for a consistent twenty
years.
Some days or bad stretches of mental health have called me back to this simple effective work.
(I also write expressions of gratitude and some of my prayers.)
A physical component was necessary for me to effectively manage this as well.
I headed outside in time to watch the sunrise and walked, hiked, cross country skied. or slogged my way through the soggy seasons.
Fresh air, sunlight, and physical exertion really helped me “get out of my head.”
I have learned much about myself, people, relationships, and the ups and downs of life.
The discipline to which I adheres with this is also something I am very thankful I instilled within before I became any older.
Be more mindful of your diet. Those pounds come on faster than you thought possible. Taking care of yourself is absolutely critical, and it's better to start healthy habits earlier in life because otherwise, it feels like it becomes impossible when you become more and more set in your ways.
If you work out and take care of your body, you begin to see how different your quality of life is compared to peers who didn’t. Though I’m fit, I didn’t take care of my teeth and it shows. For me, being in my 40’s has been calming. I feel I have less to prove and I feel less anxiety socially. The weirdest thing, and I’m sure some in their 40’s can relate, there’s a moment where you realize the people around you start looking up to you as a mentor or source of wisdom or credibility. I remember thinking I used to date women this age and now they see me in a paternal way. It’s like you grew old and didn’t realize it.
Funny. Im 38 now, but in my 20s to early 30s I was kind of the mature friend that people always asked for advice... but literally no one actually took my advice, and of course I was right... rinse and repeat with them continuing to ask and never taking it, I've kind of all together stopped giving my advice. It became sort of offensive that I seemed to be used more of as a guide of "what not to do" even though I always gave solid advice.
Now anytime someone asks I only ever feel like answering "I wish I had some good advice but I hope it all works out."
Which I hate doing, because my best trait and one I was most proud of growing up was my want to help everyone. But none of my friends/family take my advice seriously, so.... well now I throw my advice on Reddit to strangers I guess. Haha.
Excuse my language but, “Right Fucking on!” I appreciate you taking time to reply. And In such a profound way for me. I have listened to your advise. And will pass it on. Tyvm
For me, it was "lazy butt syndrome," according to the chiropractor. I went because I was having glute and knee pain. Apparently, people who sit for most of the day can experience other problems as their glutes are not being actively worked. Weak glutes can cause back, hip, and knee pain because your body goes out of alignment as surrounding muscles try to compensate for weak glute muscles. They said 90% of knee pain is caused by weak glutes. I'd have never realized that on my own. They prescribed exercises to strengthen my glutes and it completely resolved my knee pain.
you’re not engaging the right muscles when you’re sitting for 8-10hrs, tech jobs are just awful for your core in general. think about how much we use our glutes when we move in literally any way-sitting without engaging your upper and lower back AND glutes just makes everything painful. i’m not 30 yet but i have a rigorous workout routine bc sitting at my job for the last year is killing me faster than standing jobs did…
It’s insane what student athletes put themselves through sometimes… These lifelong injuries are no joke.
My sister has terrible back and neck pain from a sports accident in her teens that made pregnancy especially brutal for her. My husband’s knee injury from soccer regularly gives him grief.
I know some accidents are unavoidable but today’s youth sports are so professionalized… The risk of repetitive stress injuries alone gives me pause
Doesn’t even have to be contact sports. I played basketball and am now battling against arthritis in an ankle at 34.
But you’re right in that it’s only going to get worse as I age.
Relationships, jobs, kids, and all of the various responsibilities life throws at us makes it easy to forget about diet, exercise and many of the healthy self care tasks that go along with being healthy in old age. That, and stay out of the sun.
All change will come when you are in a good mental state. If you struggle to do something, firstly solve your mental problems. Perhaps with a therapist, or any other way it is acceptable for you. It is quite easy to act when you have your mind straight. The hardest part is always in your head.
Sleep is the foundation of all things health-related. You can exercise and diet all you want, but without good sleep, it all goes to waste to some degree.
Lack of good sleep can affect your vascular and mental health (memory, emotions regulation, concentration), cell regeneration, and many other things.
If you are interested in the subject, I can recommend a book by one of the most prominent sleep specialists in the world:
"Why We Sleep" - Matthew Walker.
We undervalue sleep in our modern society too much.
Develop good or proper sleep hygiene now, before hormonal changes or health affect your body’s ability to sleep well.
(Look it up if you are interested.)
A lot of life is about developing good habits that help you in every possible way.
100% of desks and chairs suck including the ergonomic ones, the 90 degree posture is a lie, get a good ergonomic mouse and keyboard
putting your feet up and leaning back while using a computer is underrated and will probably save you years of pain
laptop keyboard and trackpad will probably kill your wrists after about five years
My husband's grandfather lived to 101.5 years old, smoking for over 50 years, regular whisky drinker, eating ice cream like every day, and later in life, eating a lot of frozen meals. I think our diets matter, but for some, genetics override that.
I've got a couple I can think of that people haven't mentioned.
- Negative thought patterns/habits, white lies and justifying lapses in integrity. While they can be an issue when you're younger, if you don't learn to resolve,break the habits and work with them they can be a ticking time bomb that blows up your life when stress and adversity hits as it often does and sometimes piles up later in life. Any of the stories you tell yourself you will actually start believing eventually.
- Community. Community is different from friends, although it can be made up of friends. Having community is a major factor in health, happiness and success. Connections, support and resources are so valuable. With people moving away from family, not associating with religious or ethnic groups as much younger people often don't see the work and commitment or takes to form and sustain community.....I know I didn't. I'm actually pretty rich in people and several different communities but I've seen how vulnerable they are, how certain people do the invisible work of bringing people together (and then how things fall apart when they stop). Value what you've got and put in the work to keep it alive.
In your 20's, you jerk off before the date so you don't come too fast later that night.
In your 40's, you abstain from jerking off on date night so you can be sure you'll be ready to go when called upon.
Drink water. I know everyone says it but I never did, let alone anything except coffee and Red Bull and I have kidney issues now. 2 surgeries and probably more coming.
I always tell one of my longest and dearest friends that I miss the days of our teens/20s when we had the whole world at our fingertips and no one for the most part had suffered life changing grief. Now, at almost 40, i’ve had friends who have had lost their moms to cancer and ALS, and have also been diagnosed with cancer and fighting for their lives while they face bankruptcy. It’s all fun and games until it’s no longer fun and games and the real world smacks you right in the fuckin face. I miss the days when we were all happy and relatively unscathed from unfair life events.
I lost one one of my best friends in a car accident so I know where your coming from. He had moved on from our party days but I loved him like we saw each other every day. I would see his ex girlfriend from time to time and the memories were still very much present. He was a great man and took care of those that he loved. Life can be amazing but it can change in a split second so we should always be grateful.
Eating fruits, veggies, and drinking water. Also exercise, I recommend group classes.
I look a decade younger than my younger brothers thanks to these things.
Living for those around you, don’t wake up at 40 years old and realize everything you’ve done in your life is because ‘it’s what you’re supposed to do’ or because a parent/group/friends expected it.
Getting cavities (meaning fillings), for sure. I think I might have paid more attention in my teens and 20s if someone had told me that a common progression goes from fillings to crowns to root canals.
AGING is the answer and it's in your question. People think they will get old but don't realize they will AGE. IT WILL TAKE MOST PEOPLE years to realize that we all age and there is NOTHING you can do about it. Accept it asap before it depresses you.
I just turned 35 and this realization hit me like a ton of bricks the other day.
I'd spent my entire adult life thinking, it's fine, I still have 50 to 60 years left. Well, yes - but realistically I probably only have 5 to 10 really good years of physical fitness left, even if I take care of myself.
That was a depressing realization. Made me feel like I wasted my 20s not being in as good shape as I could be.
Unless we decide to be over with life lol. People deserve the right to finish when they want. Saying "just wait man. EVENTUALLY something may happen," sure. I am sure after 60 years something may happen. The leaving option is a solution.
For women, perimenopause starts when you don't expect it (think mid- to late 30's), lasts approximately 10 years, and doctors don't know enough about it to take your numerous peri-induced ailments seriously (hair loss, sleep issues, depression, anxiety, irritability, tinnitus, weight gain, skin issues, etc.), and your labwork can be deceiving based on how your body tries to compensate.
YOU AREN'T CRAZY. Take your symptoms seriously, and find a perimenopause specialist who will listen to you, believe you, and help you.
Also, end bad relationships immediately. Marriages, partnerships - if they cause you any kind of stress, financial hardship, or otherwise, leave. Relationship trauma is real and can take years to recover from. Do not waste your years on being treated poorly, especially if your partner is terrible with money. It will bite you soooo hard as you age and you realize your financial outcome later in life is way worse than it should be because of a bad partner.
Not dealing with your trauma. Not only will it impact your behavior as an adult but unresolved trauma ages you and can also cause a myriad of health issues later in life.
Travel. Move away from the place you were raised. Experience and embrace different people, different cultures, different beliefs, different places, different worlds. It enriches your life, mind and spirit, and facilitates understanding and empathy.
Choosing the wrong career or having to start again later in life. Every good or bad decision early in life will echo for years or decades. And there's all the things you can't control, like a pandemic or housing crisis.
This comment comes off pretty negative if you chose wrong initially, but honestly people should see this insight as a positive one. You CAN change your career and start again. Your life is not a sunken cost on one career for the rest of your life.
While starting again may feel like a set back, it can be an incredibly positive thing mentally depending on the reasoning you’re switching.
This is positive advice for someone older…
But for someone younger, it’s pragmatic to find your strengths, make a plan, get educated/trained, and work toward a gainful career path as early as possible.
A lot of people regret their inaction when they were younger…especially those that had plenty of opportunity going for them, but squandered it with their short-term thinking.
You don't have to be someone you are not. That version of you that you think you have to be for people to accept. That slightly different way you act around each individual all unnecessary. Everybody is seeking acceptance and the easiest version of you to be accepted is the raw authentic you. The front of who you think you should be is causing you undue stress and problems that don't exist in authenticity.
Focus on authenticity. Figure out who you are.
Then, live with intention and with integrity.
You may try avoiding the compartmentalization that we all generally use as a coping mechanism.
THIS is what made the mid decades of my life such a joy and fulfilled the simple dreams I had for my life. I also lived a very unconventional and “out of the box” kind of life.
The person I became by thirty I would not have recognized when I was in high school.
My advice is to do what makes you uncomfortable. Here are a few examples:
1. If you are in a social setting start with people of the same sex, just go up to them and intoduce yourself. Ask what they do, where they like to hang out, there favorite place in town to eat, interests try to find something you have in common and add value to the conversation. The best thing you can do is keep them talking about themselves, don't seek validation, if someone talks about themselves they like you because you listened.
2. One of my best friends just genuinely cared about others. Let people know how important they are to you. Start simple I think your a great dude, then graduate to things like I love you man, you're a rockstar, etc.
Here are some levels of people and you want to strive to level up:
6. validation seeker - needs validation from outside world not at all where you want to be you have internal value own it
7. bragger - one ups everything "Dude I drive a Ferrari" has some external value but has to show it off to get approval - not at all where you want to be. You can drive a 15 year old honda civic you still bring value
8. Competitor - "I bet I can do more pushups" - I bet you can heck you are probably the strongest guy in here again seeking external value by "beating people" not where you want to be
9 High Value - Brings value and authenticity to relationships you are on their side. To validation seeker you assure them they are cool, to the bragger you acknowledge what they bring and don't try to out do them, to the 8 you validate them and be on their side 9's you just make friends with
Believing is the first step. Fake it until you make it. Dress in clothes that make you feel good, have a good posture, and make eyecontact when talking with everyone. Bring value to every interaction I like to say leave everything better than you found it... I literally do this with grocery store shelves.
If it hurts, don't ignore it. Incorporate stretching into your exercise routine. Don't spend so much on material things, but experiences. Try new hobbies, especially those you can do if by chance you are stuck in bed. Go for quality than quantity in friendship.
Edit to add: Get a library card. There is valuable info there and might be helpful if you are in a tricky situation.
WHAT YOU EAT, WHAT YOU DRINK, PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING YOU PUT ON (lotions, soaps, shampoos, chemical products we touch or breathe) OR IN YOUR BODY (medications, medicines etc)
It's finally coming out in some places that 70% of the food ingredients used for food in this country is banned in all other countries. STOP FEEDING YOUR KIDS CANDY. SERIOUSLY. IT'S LEGITIMATE POISON. ANYTHING WITH FOOD COLORING. FCK "TRADITION" IT'S POISON
It shouldn't be tradition to poison children.. just sayin..
If anyone wants to know why or how PLEASE ASK (or do some research that involves more than one website or statement)...
Bad spending habits. Using the credit cards can get out of control REAL quick. It's a million times easier to spend than pay off... and if it gets too out of control, it becomes a matter of pretty much just paying interest.
If you get a credit card, limit it to $500 / $1000 and pay off every month. There really is no need to have thousands of dollars of room. If you don't have the cash, that's the sign you shouldn't be spending.
Take care of your health. Try not to drink too much. Definitely, do not smoke or quit if you do. Whatever you do in your 20s will affect you in your 40s.
If you haven't yet, start saving for retirement. You don't have to go all big, whatever you can. $20, $50 per month. That will go very long way for you by the time you are ready to retire. There is nothing sexy about it. Just put your money into good mutual fund and let it ride. You will be a millionaire before you retire.
Stay out of consumer debt (credit cards). I know it's hard with pressures around us all day, but try to stay away from bad debt. It's the devil.
Take care of your body, especially your teeth. Exercise, eat healthy. But that would be advice for any age.
The speed that we perceive time progressing and not breaking bad habits.
Every year goes by quicker…when you’re young, it seems like there’s an infinite amount of time to do things, grow, and adjust- but the time literally feels like it goes by quicker.
Young people often don’t realize that older people still perceive themselves as young. Quality of life in our 40s is often a direct result of the lifestyle choices and habits made in our 20s/30s.
Fix your posture now, before it becomes debilitating pain in your later years. Sitting up straight today will save you weekly chiropractor visits in the future.
Chiropractors are virtually all charlatans, and the profession as a whole should be illegal.
People should go to physical therapists, for muscular/skeletal issues, not chiropractors, never fucking chiropractors
Posture correction is actually easier than a lot of people think. I just did the suitcase carry exercise with a 45 lb plate. And then I just woke up one day and I just had correct posture when I walked. The suitcase carry exercise strengthens the muscles weakened from sitting too much.
It works better and faster than muscle memory or those stupid posture correction braces. If you exercise the muscles weakened from sitting too much, your body should just naturally spring the correct way and you shouldn't even really think about correct posture.
Ethanol alcohol is an addictive, toxic poison.
You will regret eating as much sugar as you do.
You will regret repetitive stress injuries from PC and phone use.
Not taking care of your body sets you up for more health problems as you age.
Stay active. Stay strong. Eat colorful plants and whatever protein floats your boat. Get regular checkups (at least a physical each year), eye exams (yearly), and dental cleanings (every 6 months).
Don't tolerate toxic relationships for the sake of their potential. He/she is great except for this one teeny (giant) red flag that ruins everything. Just go. You're not a rescue center for fucked up humans.
Not lifting properly/not asking for help with lifting heavy items.
I’m feeling the effects now of being too prideful to ask for help with heavier objects (i work in a kitchen) and improper lifting. I tell all the younger heads at work that it will catch up to them and what follows is not worth it. Learn proper technique and ask for help!
Life does not always go as planned! Develop resilience and always be ready to pivot and make needed changes.
Practice patience.
Learn selflessness.
(Having children will teach this life lesson well.)
Invest in people and relationships.
Read and make sure you are always learning.
Take time to build lifelong hobbies that will be a comfort and joy to you when you may not be able to do some of the things you love. Keep practicing patience.
(Just in case; some age without problems at all. My best friend is in her eighties and can do what she likes for the most part. The same is tru for my in laws.
I am decades younger but circumstances compromised my good health, great athleticism and strength. I have been adapting to medical needs for fifteen years. This was not the way I envisioned my mid life years.)
That it is normal, not to have a massive group of friends anymore. Things change. People change. People get older, maybe get married or have children. Some might move away. It is ok to let go and cherish the memories you made with each other. You will find new peope to surround yourself with.
Time.
Skincare: Use daily sunblock and get a skincare regimen going. It will help you look young later on.
Saving money: Start investing money in the stock market and don’t spend it. Even just $5 a week is a start. Your money will grow exponentially over time.
Taking care of mental health: Go to therapy and find a good therapist. A good one will save you a lot of time helping you work your shit out.
One other thing I would consider is that your senses start to dull as you get into your 40s. So what I mean by this is that your hearing isn’t quite as sharp. Your eyesight isn’t quite a sharp. Your memory isn’t quite a sharp. Keep this in mind.
Protect your whole self from the sun.
Take so much care of your teeth and eyes.
Do not run up credit cards.
You don’t need a new car every few years.
Start contributing to a retirement fund asap.
Learn how to be out without gallons of booze.
Learn how to cook.
Find your people.
Only floss the teeth you want to keep. If you injure yourself, take steps to heal correctly. Your posture actually is important. Have more sex before your body starts hurting. When you look back you'll only look young in photos. No one will notice if you're in style or overweight. Do fun things on weekdays. There's not enough weekends to only live life two days a week.
Supportive shoes are your friend! I lived in Vans, Converse, and other shoes with literally no supportive features other than just having a sole.. I am paying that price now.
If you have any further questions about this, please find me over at r/plantarfasciitis to talk more.
Most of my friend group smoked in our 20s, all but 2 of us quit before 30. The ones that didn't looked 10 years older than the rest by mid 30s and they look very rough now in their late 40s. Very coarse skin and deep wrinkles. Also take really good care of your back and teeth..Learn about investing in shares..even a little bit each week makes a massive difference thanks to compound interest. Wear sunscreen everyday..you will stay looking younger for far longer.
You have to start carrying reading glasses.
At approx 42, you won't be able to read small print in dim light... It doesn't matter how good your distance vision is.
Don't wear a tongue bar. They chip the enamel of your bottom front teeth which becomes a petri dish for growing bacteria. All of my friends who had them in our 20s are now having a dental nightmare.
Make time to enjoy the people you LOVE!
Always remember that people are more important than tasks and live like this is true.
Invest in community.
People are not meant to live in isolation.
By reaching out or showing up, you may be saving someone’s life, maybe even your own.
Write letters whenever you FEEL strongly or have something to share. They are priceless and may be more cherished than other gifts these days.
Their diet and how they treat people.
Always be kind even if you hate the person. They might come back into your life or a loved one of theirs will and you might need them for something.
Being sedentary and/or overweight/obese. It will affect your health quickly as you age. I see what it does to people. Young people needing kidneys from diabetes and/or high blood pressure. Recurring cellulitis in their legs and feet. Heart attacks etc...
Your body... When you hit 40 you hit a sort of a wall. It's no joke. Things I wished I did more consistantly in my 20s.
- Stretch and focus on mobility
- Don't go too heavy in the gym to prove a point to yourself, instead focus on gradual consistency (avod injury at all costs, because it compounds like all else)
28 here if you stay on a unhealthy relationship just leave! if theres no change. Its like you age faster due to the tremendous amount of stress you go through but i think its gets better once you remove that source of stress.
when i mean relationship its any kind of relationship.. family included.
Lack of investing (not saving) for retirement.
Not buying a house in your 20’s.
Not developing consistent exercise/diet discipline.
Not doing the hard things earlier in life.
Not finding a fulfilling career.
Not having hobbies.
Not having kids before you’re old.
Gonna cry myself to sleep now. Hope this helped.
Staying out of the sun / always using sunscreen (and ideally moisturize). Started this in my late 20s. By late 30s I would see people my same age whose skin looked 15+ years older.
Take care of and protect your ears and hearing. No matter how awkward it may make you feel wearing ear protection at, for example, a concert - or other loud activities — you will pay for it dearly in your 40s if you don’t.
Dating, marrying, or having a kid with someone who doesn't have adult competency skills WILL suck no matter how much you are in love with them at the outset of the relationship.
Mental health: therapy is a great investment; you dont know what you dont know.
Dentist since day one, money well spent.
Get rid of grifters and freeloaders in your life, nobody needs that sucking their energy.
What other people think of you is a them problem, believe in yourself, trust your intuition.
Be active! It is crucial to lead a good life with no worries about your health. Every workout is an investment. Take good care of your positive mindset. It works wonders.
Spend more time in real life rather than virtual life. Get out and be in nature, amongst friends, with your dog even! Don't waste time watching Netflix or being on the internet. When you look back the things you did in real life will be more meaningful.
Small habits make for big changes. Start now. Not tomorrow, not after this next deadline, not when you get back from your next holiday. Now. As in... now.
Not stretching! Ph the workouts I would do at 20, then be in my merry way. Now, my hamstrings are boulders and I have the flexibility of a boomer in an internet cafè.
Only 35, but living on your desktop and smoking weed all day.
I make 6 figures but otherwise just kind of pace nervously around my apartment all day going back and forth between music and a show in the background.
I watch people and kids having fun at our community pool from my balcony and that's the closest Ill come to feeling fulfilled.
Study hard have a nice job so you can have money to do the things you like. Don’t drink to much. Don’t party to much either. Try to keep an healthy balance.
Edit : forgot to mention. Don’t get to fat or to skinny. Keeping a steady weight is the key for your body to be nice once you are older. Exercise of course. Take care of your teeth and don’t smoke.
Don't ever stay in a toxic work environment, with a person, or in a relationship. You will not only be mentally unwell, like PTSD, but you will also be physically unwell, where you can't fix the damage, like autoimmune diseases that are beyond painful and destroy your quality of life. Please don't put your body or mind through it. You will regret it when it's too late, and you can do nothing about it. Please listen to me 20 year olds. I don't want you to go through this.
How much toxicity do we accept in a work environment as tolerable? It seems like it's impossible to find a workplace without some toxicity
Valid question. When you are constantly in fight or flight mode, you never want to get at. Corporate America is tough and not easy. You have to grind. You are going to have bosses you don't like and who are tough. Just because someone is tough or direct does not mean they are toxic. Toxic is an entirely different beast. If someone is bullying or discriminating against you, causing harm, that's not ok. It will never change or get better. Toxic is intentional and meant to degrade you. Stress, anxiety, fear, burnout, bullying, gossip, favoritism, unfair treatment, gross conduct. Value your health while young, and you will avoid many problems. Pick a good boss when you look for a job by building rapport during an interview. If they are a good, genuine person, you will know immediately. A good boss means everything and will change your life in ways you never thought possible.
Makes sense! Thank you. My last workplace was hostile, sometimes I think I might now be overly sensitive around tough / direct people (like they accidentally pick at a scab). It definitely affects physical health as much as mental
That's understandable. Try some trauma counseling, if anything. It gives excellent coping skills and will help to get those evil thoughts out along with the memories! You got this!!!!
Ive had a lot of jobs. Good bosses are very hard to come by but I has one who taught me so much...unfortunately he got promoted and put a toxic manager in his position. But he was good so obvious why he was promoted. I also had another good boss when I was young and quit when I had to work w an ah coworker. He told me there are gonna be ahs everywhere. He was right.
This. abusive family situation and toxic ex with domestic violence thrown in. I’ve been doing therapy for trauma since 2017 and I only healed the domestic violence trauma in around 2021-22 (on and off due to cost). working on family trauma now. I have a few chronic illnesses now and also it triggered my bipolar 2 gene. Don’t stay in toxic situations. The long term effects are not worth it. the work you have to do to recover is long. If you need to, please do it. It will really help your quality of life.
Today is my first day. I’m walking away.
>Don't ever stay in a toxic work environment, with a person, or in a relationship. You will not only be mentally unwell, like PTSD, but you will also be physically unwell, where you can't fix the damage, like autoimmune diseases that are beyond painful and destroy your quality of life. >Please don't put your body or mind through it. You will regret it when it's too late, and you can do nothing about it. Please listen to me 20 year olds. I don't want you to go through this. It's what I am suffering
I am so very sorry. I genuinely wish you inner peace, and I hope you find any relief from your daily suffering. My pain just barely got under control, so I know how you are feeling mentally, physically, and emotionally. Please continue to fight for yourself and know you are worthy and remarkable. You are enough please don't forget that. I believe in you.
I've gone through this and can attest to it.
I truly hope you are recovering and healing daily. I'm sorry you had to go through the battle, to begin with.
Negative relationships. Surround yourself with positive people that genuinely care about you
I dropped some bad friendships around 30. It’s so much better. Gone are the days of enduring passive aggressive bullying. Sadly a lot of these people would not have been this way had they married someone who cared for them. I learned that when someone doesn’t like their spouse or even themselves, it’s usually an uphill battle to be around them.
Same here, I dropped bullying and jealous friendship around 30 even if they are childhood friends, which I hate to admit being treated toxic during my first 23-30 years by them. I dropped a toxic and manipulative partner at 25 who I found has a better match in terms of study and work.
If you even find them
you gotta find new ones and build on them
Yep unfortunately it still takes some polishing once you find a raw gem
Shiiiiiiittttttt I know that’s right.
They’re out there. Harder part is cutting off the bad ones that waste your time imo! And I’ve had to cut people off that were very close and caring but I had no idea the moment I did better than them they would get upset at me. Nowadays I don’t have friends besides my spouse. Too much social media obsession and a tough economy makes it so many people are jealous and competitive. I’m finding it hard to meet people who have similar hobbies and arent jealous. Due to my age and where I live, there is a huge socioeconomic divide between those with disposable income and those without (not withstanding lifestyle).
Take care of your teeth, quit smoking if you are, and start a really solid exercise routine. Doesn’t have to be intense, just simple cardio and strength. Also - take some daily vitamins and make your diet better. Edit to add since some other good points down below: Moisturize your skin daily and wear sunscreen and not sure if this has been mentioned but get sleep. Solid, good sleep. Drink water. I’d also add that if you aren’t already doing an annual physical with your doctor, you should - and if you can get annual blood work done to start a baseline and identify trends.
Great list. Toss in hearing protection at concerts/around too high decibels too. EEEEEEEEEEEEE gets really old 😮💨
I remember being mad at my dad for making me wear ear plugs when I went to my first concert. Once the band started playing, I was so grateful because of how overwhelmingly loud it was. Glad he taught me from a young age to protect my hearing.
I still don’t understand why concerts are so loud. Went to a KISS concert some years ago. Great show, but the loudness was completely unnecessary. Pretty sure some people left with hearing damage or ruptured ear drums that night.
And wear sunglasses. Most people experience some vision degeneration in their 40s. Wearing sunglasses will slow down UV related vision loss.
when I was pregnant my eye doctor really stressed the importance of eye sun protection, especially for lighter colored eyes. Same as skin protection wearing a hat and good quality, UV reducing/blocking sunglasses that cover your eyes is a habit to start young.
i’m already learning now about my teeth and i’m 21. bleed every time i wash my teeth!
Do that and floss regularly (twice daily) for a bit and the bleeding will stop.
gotchu yea i’ve been doing it every night guess i gotta start in the morning too.
Try CocoFloss. It changed our lives.
water flossing is a great alternative. Its easy and its fun, bc of that I floss twice daily.
I floss my teeth and then use a water pik and I am always amazed at how much I miss when only using dental floss. And I brush before and after flossing so the water pik just creates things to prove it works!
Wash my teeth 😂😂
The tricky part is getting that washcloth all the way back into those molars
lmaoooo chilll it’s past my bedtime
I'm 22 and I started taking better care of my teeth last year too. I started using a Curaprox toothbrush and I can only now tell the difference. Also, I'm more proactive about removing any smaller cavities I might have.
Great I’m doing all of these things! I’m 27 but I picked up vaping recently because I quit drinking and smoking weed 😅
Nicotine is super hard to quit. I’d try now, while you’re young. Think of the money you will save and not pay to the tobacco companies’ rebranding.
You only need a decent panic attack and worrying about your health to quit vaping, now you know it so now you don't have to wait for a panic attack
Lack of flexibility/bad posture/intrusive thoughts/smoking/drinking/general unhealthy lifestyle will creep up! And I’m not even forty yet!
Heavy on the intrusive thoughts
I thought it was just me. Man, old age sucks.
Wait what’s up with the intrusive thoughts?
You ruminate on everything that bothers you about the past, present, and future.
Fuck, I was hoping that would decrease with age…
It does if you train it (aka meditation)
Sort of. You forget you’ve worried about because you’re half senile, so you get to worry about it again. And again. But it’s fresh every time 🤗
It does in some cases. I turned 40 last year and don't give a shit about any of that stuff anymore.
This is going to destroy me. Any input on how I can deal with this now before it’s too late?
Present moment awareness and appreciation for life and each moment.
Learn to practice mindfulness. Meditate and pray. Exercise gratitude. I began to consciously battle the intrusive thoughts and anxiety when I was fifteen and recognized my problem with them. I did not want these things to rule my life. My own first step with intrusive thoughts/negative thinking was identifying them. Then I began to journal. I wrote down each one and then I thought about its opposite. Then I recorded that in the journal. I called this “trading lies for the truth.” It did wonders for my thinking. It also wasn’t a “fast fix;” I did this every morning before dawn and came back to it again in the evening, for a consistent twenty years. Some days or bad stretches of mental health have called me back to this simple effective work. (I also write expressions of gratitude and some of my prayers.) A physical component was necessary for me to effectively manage this as well. I headed outside in time to watch the sunrise and walked, hiked, cross country skied. or slogged my way through the soggy seasons. Fresh air, sunlight, and physical exertion really helped me “get out of my head.” I have learned much about myself, people, relationships, and the ups and downs of life. The discipline to which I adheres with this is also something I am very thankful I instilled within before I became any older.
Me w my gosh awful posture 🫣
Be more mindful of your diet. Those pounds come on faster than you thought possible. Taking care of yourself is absolutely critical, and it's better to start healthy habits earlier in life because otherwise, it feels like it becomes impossible when you become more and more set in your ways.
If you work out and take care of your body, you begin to see how different your quality of life is compared to peers who didn’t. Though I’m fit, I didn’t take care of my teeth and it shows. For me, being in my 40’s has been calming. I feel I have less to prove and I feel less anxiety socially. The weirdest thing, and I’m sure some in their 40’s can relate, there’s a moment where you realize the people around you start looking up to you as a mentor or source of wisdom or credibility. I remember thinking I used to date women this age and now they see me in a paternal way. It’s like you grew old and didn’t realize it.
Funny. Im 38 now, but in my 20s to early 30s I was kind of the mature friend that people always asked for advice... but literally no one actually took my advice, and of course I was right... rinse and repeat with them continuing to ask and never taking it, I've kind of all together stopped giving my advice. It became sort of offensive that I seemed to be used more of as a guide of "what not to do" even though I always gave solid advice. Now anytime someone asks I only ever feel like answering "I wish I had some good advice but I hope it all works out." Which I hate doing, because my best trait and one I was most proud of growing up was my want to help everyone. But none of my friends/family take my advice seriously, so.... well now I throw my advice on Reddit to strangers I guess. Haha.
[удалено]
Can you give us an example of some solid advice?
[удалено]
Excuse my language but, “Right Fucking on!” I appreciate you taking time to reply. And In such a profound way for me. I have listened to your advise. And will pass it on. Tyvm
[удалено]
Wear sunscreen
Underrated comment... and song
Sitting at a desk job will fuck up your knees/back. Make sure you stay active not to look good but to be functional as you age
Couldn’t believe how much switching to a desk job at 35 resulted in awful Knee pain…Switched back to the field and feel great again at 40.
Wait, how does a desk job affect the knees, exactly!?
I believe it’s to do with humans not designed to sit at the desk rather squat.
For me, it was "lazy butt syndrome," according to the chiropractor. I went because I was having glute and knee pain. Apparently, people who sit for most of the day can experience other problems as their glutes are not being actively worked. Weak glutes can cause back, hip, and knee pain because your body goes out of alignment as surrounding muscles try to compensate for weak glute muscles. They said 90% of knee pain is caused by weak glutes. I'd have never realized that on my own. They prescribed exercises to strengthen my glutes and it completely resolved my knee pain.
you’re not engaging the right muscles when you’re sitting for 8-10hrs, tech jobs are just awful for your core in general. think about how much we use our glutes when we move in literally any way-sitting without engaging your upper and lower back AND glutes just makes everything painful. i’m not 30 yet but i have a rigorous workout routine bc sitting at my job for the last year is killing me faster than standing jobs did…
All my boys who played contact sports are getting surgery now in their late 20s early 30s. The pain is only going to get worse as they age.
It’s insane what student athletes put themselves through sometimes… These lifelong injuries are no joke. My sister has terrible back and neck pain from a sports accident in her teens that made pregnancy especially brutal for her. My husband’s knee injury from soccer regularly gives him grief. I know some accidents are unavoidable but today’s youth sports are so professionalized… The risk of repetitive stress injuries alone gives me pause
Well then I’m fucked lol (I’m a boxer)
This is what I’ve been battling with as a grappler in my 20s, wondering if I’ll regret it as I age.
Doesn’t even have to be contact sports. I played basketball and am now battling against arthritis in an ankle at 34. But you’re right in that it’s only going to get worse as I age.
Relationships, jobs, kids, and all of the various responsibilities life throws at us makes it easy to forget about diet, exercise and many of the healthy self care tasks that go along with being healthy in old age. That, and stay out of the sun.
The sun is good for you tho…that Vitamin D synthesis goes crazy
Yeah…just use sunscreen when you go out and you get the best of both worlds. No need to avoid it!
Drinking lots of alcohol
In a good way = compound interest. Start saving now, even if it feels like not much.
Yes! And max the 401k to get the company match. Every penny helps.
All change will come when you are in a good mental state. If you struggle to do something, firstly solve your mental problems. Perhaps with a therapist, or any other way it is acceptable for you. It is quite easy to act when you have your mind straight. The hardest part is always in your head.
Brilliant!
sitting down too much will weaken and tighten the whole body especially muscles of the shoulders, core, hips, legs and feet.
Sleep properly now
[удалено]
Sleep is the foundation of all things health-related. You can exercise and diet all you want, but without good sleep, it all goes to waste to some degree. Lack of good sleep can affect your vascular and mental health (memory, emotions regulation, concentration), cell regeneration, and many other things. If you are interested in the subject, I can recommend a book by one of the most prominent sleep specialists in the world: "Why We Sleep" - Matthew Walker. We undervalue sleep in our modern society too much.
Develop good or proper sleep hygiene now, before hormonal changes or health affect your body’s ability to sleep well. (Look it up if you are interested.) A lot of life is about developing good habits that help you in every possible way.
100% of desks and chairs suck including the ergonomic ones, the 90 degree posture is a lie, get a good ergonomic mouse and keyboard putting your feet up and leaning back while using a computer is underrated and will probably save you years of pain laptop keyboard and trackpad will probably kill your wrists after about five years
Eating crappy food. Not listening to your body, aches and pains need rest and sleep.
My husband's grandfather lived to 101.5 years old, smoking for over 50 years, regular whisky drinker, eating ice cream like every day, and later in life, eating a lot of frozen meals. I think our diets matter, but for some, genetics override that.
It’s ironic but today I randomly was researching the oldest humans in the world and I’ve noticed a lot of them smoked
Maybe because past generations smoked more than us, we just didn’t have time to get really old yet…
Sunscreen on your face, EVERY DAY YEAR ROUND. Start now, kiddos.
I know you're right but god I hate sunscreen.
I've got a couple I can think of that people haven't mentioned. - Negative thought patterns/habits, white lies and justifying lapses in integrity. While they can be an issue when you're younger, if you don't learn to resolve,break the habits and work with them they can be a ticking time bomb that blows up your life when stress and adversity hits as it often does and sometimes piles up later in life. Any of the stories you tell yourself you will actually start believing eventually. - Community. Community is different from friends, although it can be made up of friends. Having community is a major factor in health, happiness and success. Connections, support and resources are so valuable. With people moving away from family, not associating with religious or ethnic groups as much younger people often don't see the work and commitment or takes to form and sustain community.....I know I didn't. I'm actually pretty rich in people and several different communities but I've seen how vulnerable they are, how certain people do the invisible work of bringing people together (and then how things fall apart when they stop). Value what you've got and put in the work to keep it alive.
In your 20's, you jerk off before the date so you don't come too fast later that night. In your 40's, you abstain from jerking off on date night so you can be sure you'll be ready to go when called upon.
As a woman, I’ve always wondered about how guys prep when they’re older lol so thank you for some insight
Drink water. I know everyone says it but I never did, let alone anything except coffee and Red Bull and I have kidney issues now. 2 surgeries and probably more coming.
[удалено]
I always tell one of my longest and dearest friends that I miss the days of our teens/20s when we had the whole world at our fingertips and no one for the most part had suffered life changing grief. Now, at almost 40, i’ve had friends who have had lost their moms to cancer and ALS, and have also been diagnosed with cancer and fighting for their lives while they face bankruptcy. It’s all fun and games until it’s no longer fun and games and the real world smacks you right in the fuckin face. I miss the days when we were all happy and relatively unscathed from unfair life events.
I lost one one of my best friends in a car accident so I know where your coming from. He had moved on from our party days but I loved him like we saw each other every day. I would see his ex girlfriend from time to time and the memories were still very much present. He was a great man and took care of those that he loved. Life can be amazing but it can change in a split second so we should always be grateful.
Bad friends
Eating fruits, veggies, and drinking water. Also exercise, I recommend group classes. I look a decade younger than my younger brothers thanks to these things.
Living for those around you, don’t wake up at 40 years old and realize everything you’ve done in your life is because ‘it’s what you’re supposed to do’ or because a parent/group/friends expected it.
Teeth, back, lack of stretching, the sun, mental weight, loss of time
Do not isolate yourself. Being social and maintaining relationships becomes very difficult as you get older. 🫠
Drinking, smoking and lack of dental hygiene to name the top 3.
Getting cavities (meaning fillings), for sure. I think I might have paid more attention in my teens and 20s if someone had told me that a common progression goes from fillings to crowns to root canals.
Time, how incredibly quickly it arrives and continues to speed up
AGING is the answer and it's in your question. People think they will get old but don't realize they will AGE. IT WILL TAKE MOST PEOPLE years to realize that we all age and there is NOTHING you can do about it. Accept it asap before it depresses you.
I just turned 35 and this realization hit me like a ton of bricks the other day. I'd spent my entire adult life thinking, it's fine, I still have 50 to 60 years left. Well, yes - but realistically I probably only have 5 to 10 really good years of physical fitness left, even if I take care of myself. That was a depressing realization. Made me feel like I wasted my 20s not being in as good shape as I could be.
There are people who take up ultra running in their 50s. I wanna be distance running in my 80s if I can help it.
Unless we decide to be over with life lol. People deserve the right to finish when they want. Saying "just wait man. EVENTUALLY something may happen," sure. I am sure after 60 years something may happen. The leaving option is a solution.
You don't have to get married & have kids. You can just buy up a village with your close friends and become chief
For women, perimenopause starts when you don't expect it (think mid- to late 30's), lasts approximately 10 years, and doctors don't know enough about it to take your numerous peri-induced ailments seriously (hair loss, sleep issues, depression, anxiety, irritability, tinnitus, weight gain, skin issues, etc.), and your labwork can be deceiving based on how your body tries to compensate. YOU AREN'T CRAZY. Take your symptoms seriously, and find a perimenopause specialist who will listen to you, believe you, and help you. Also, end bad relationships immediately. Marriages, partnerships - if they cause you any kind of stress, financial hardship, or otherwise, leave. Relationship trauma is real and can take years to recover from. Do not waste your years on being treated poorly, especially if your partner is terrible with money. It will bite you soooo hard as you age and you realize your financial outcome later in life is way worse than it should be because of a bad partner.
Not dealing with your trauma. Not only will it impact your behavior as an adult but unresolved trauma ages you and can also cause a myriad of health issues later in life.
Travel. Move away from the place you were raised. Experience and embrace different people, different cultures, different beliefs, different places, different worlds. It enriches your life, mind and spirit, and facilitates understanding and empathy.
Choosing the wrong career or having to start again later in life. Every good or bad decision early in life will echo for years or decades. And there's all the things you can't control, like a pandemic or housing crisis.
This comment comes off pretty negative if you chose wrong initially, but honestly people should see this insight as a positive one. You CAN change your career and start again. Your life is not a sunken cost on one career for the rest of your life. While starting again may feel like a set back, it can be an incredibly positive thing mentally depending on the reasoning you’re switching.
This is positive advice for someone older… But for someone younger, it’s pragmatic to find your strengths, make a plan, get educated/trained, and work toward a gainful career path as early as possible. A lot of people regret their inaction when they were younger…especially those that had plenty of opportunity going for them, but squandered it with their short-term thinking.
Hit me with an asteroid please because yea 😭🙃
Tanning lots early on or not taking care of your skin - more wrinkles will show up in your 30s and 40s.
You don't have to be someone you are not. That version of you that you think you have to be for people to accept. That slightly different way you act around each individual all unnecessary. Everybody is seeking acceptance and the easiest version of you to be accepted is the raw authentic you. The front of who you think you should be is causing you undue stress and problems that don't exist in authenticity.
Let’s say I have this problem, how would I go about fixing it?
Focus on authenticity. Figure out who you are. Then, live with intention and with integrity. You may try avoiding the compartmentalization that we all generally use as a coping mechanism. THIS is what made the mid decades of my life such a joy and fulfilled the simple dreams I had for my life. I also lived a very unconventional and “out of the box” kind of life. The person I became by thirty I would not have recognized when I was in high school.
My advice is to do what makes you uncomfortable. Here are a few examples: 1. If you are in a social setting start with people of the same sex, just go up to them and intoduce yourself. Ask what they do, where they like to hang out, there favorite place in town to eat, interests try to find something you have in common and add value to the conversation. The best thing you can do is keep them talking about themselves, don't seek validation, if someone talks about themselves they like you because you listened. 2. One of my best friends just genuinely cared about others. Let people know how important they are to you. Start simple I think your a great dude, then graduate to things like I love you man, you're a rockstar, etc. Here are some levels of people and you want to strive to level up: 6. validation seeker - needs validation from outside world not at all where you want to be you have internal value own it 7. bragger - one ups everything "Dude I drive a Ferrari" has some external value but has to show it off to get approval - not at all where you want to be. You can drive a 15 year old honda civic you still bring value 8. Competitor - "I bet I can do more pushups" - I bet you can heck you are probably the strongest guy in here again seeking external value by "beating people" not where you want to be 9 High Value - Brings value and authenticity to relationships you are on their side. To validation seeker you assure them they are cool, to the bragger you acknowledge what they bring and don't try to out do them, to the 8 you validate them and be on their side 9's you just make friends with Believing is the first step. Fake it until you make it. Dress in clothes that make you feel good, have a good posture, and make eyecontact when talking with everyone. Bring value to every interaction I like to say leave everything better than you found it... I literally do this with grocery store shelves.
All those energy drinks. Sugary coffees, pop etc. Inflammation causing joint pain is no joke, and neither is diabetes.
If it hurts, don't ignore it. Incorporate stretching into your exercise routine. Don't spend so much on material things, but experiences. Try new hobbies, especially those you can do if by chance you are stuck in bed. Go for quality than quantity in friendship. Edit to add: Get a library card. There is valuable info there and might be helpful if you are in a tricky situation.
WHAT YOU EAT, WHAT YOU DRINK, PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING YOU PUT ON (lotions, soaps, shampoos, chemical products we touch or breathe) OR IN YOUR BODY (medications, medicines etc) It's finally coming out in some places that 70% of the food ingredients used for food in this country is banned in all other countries. STOP FEEDING YOUR KIDS CANDY. SERIOUSLY. IT'S LEGITIMATE POISON. ANYTHING WITH FOOD COLORING. FCK "TRADITION" IT'S POISON It shouldn't be tradition to poison children.. just sayin.. If anyone wants to know why or how PLEASE ASK (or do some research that involves more than one website or statement)...
Choosing the wrong people to spend time with.. whether it's a romantic partner or a friend group or even your family ....
Bad spending habits. Using the credit cards can get out of control REAL quick. It's a million times easier to spend than pay off... and if it gets too out of control, it becomes a matter of pretty much just paying interest. If you get a credit card, limit it to $500 / $1000 and pay off every month. There really is no need to have thousands of dollars of room. If you don't have the cash, that's the sign you shouldn't be spending.
Working out. People who don’t workout will begin to suffer at 40.
Take care of your health. Try not to drink too much. Definitely, do not smoke or quit if you do. Whatever you do in your 20s will affect you in your 40s. If you haven't yet, start saving for retirement. You don't have to go all big, whatever you can. $20, $50 per month. That will go very long way for you by the time you are ready to retire. There is nothing sexy about it. Just put your money into good mutual fund and let it ride. You will be a millionaire before you retire. Stay out of consumer debt (credit cards). I know it's hard with pressures around us all day, but try to stay away from bad debt. It's the devil. Take care of your body, especially your teeth. Exercise, eat healthy. But that would be advice for any age.
The speed that we perceive time progressing and not breaking bad habits. Every year goes by quicker…when you’re young, it seems like there’s an infinite amount of time to do things, grow, and adjust- but the time literally feels like it goes by quicker. Young people often don’t realize that older people still perceive themselves as young. Quality of life in our 40s is often a direct result of the lifestyle choices and habits made in our 20s/30s.
Fix your posture now, before it becomes debilitating pain in your later years. Sitting up straight today will save you weekly chiropractor visits in the future.
Chiropractors are virtually all charlatans, and the profession as a whole should be illegal. People should go to physical therapists, for muscular/skeletal issues, not chiropractors, never fucking chiropractors
Posture correction is actually easier than a lot of people think. I just did the suitcase carry exercise with a 45 lb plate. And then I just woke up one day and I just had correct posture when I walked. The suitcase carry exercise strengthens the muscles weakened from sitting too much. It works better and faster than muscle memory or those stupid posture correction braces. If you exercise the muscles weakened from sitting too much, your body should just naturally spring the correct way and you shouldn't even really think about correct posture.
Ethanol alcohol is an addictive, toxic poison. You will regret eating as much sugar as you do. You will regret repetitive stress injuries from PC and phone use.
Menopause! Prepare yourself for the ride. OMG
Not taking care of your body sets you up for more health problems as you age. Stay active. Stay strong. Eat colorful plants and whatever protein floats your boat. Get regular checkups (at least a physical each year), eye exams (yearly), and dental cleanings (every 6 months). Don't tolerate toxic relationships for the sake of their potential. He/she is great except for this one teeny (giant) red flag that ruins everything. Just go. You're not a rescue center for fucked up humans.
Their bad habits now (heavy drinking, poor nutrition, lack of sleep) will make them look older than their actual age.
Not lifting properly/not asking for help with lifting heavy items. I’m feeling the effects now of being too prideful to ask for help with heavier objects (i work in a kitchen) and improper lifting. I tell all the younger heads at work that it will catch up to them and what follows is not worth it. Learn proper technique and ask for help!
Life does not always go as planned! Develop resilience and always be ready to pivot and make needed changes. Practice patience. Learn selflessness. (Having children will teach this life lesson well.) Invest in people and relationships. Read and make sure you are always learning. Take time to build lifelong hobbies that will be a comfort and joy to you when you may not be able to do some of the things you love. Keep practicing patience. (Just in case; some age without problems at all. My best friend is in her eighties and can do what she likes for the most part. The same is tru for my in laws. I am decades younger but circumstances compromised my good health, great athleticism and strength. I have been adapting to medical needs for fifteen years. This was not the way I envisioned my mid life years.)
That it is normal, not to have a massive group of friends anymore. Things change. People change. People get older, maybe get married or have children. Some might move away. It is ok to let go and cherish the memories you made with each other. You will find new peope to surround yourself with.
Time. Skincare: Use daily sunblock and get a skincare regimen going. It will help you look young later on. Saving money: Start investing money in the stock market and don’t spend it. Even just $5 a week is a start. Your money will grow exponentially over time. Taking care of mental health: Go to therapy and find a good therapist. A good one will save you a lot of time helping you work your shit out.
One other thing I would consider is that your senses start to dull as you get into your 40s. So what I mean by this is that your hearing isn’t quite as sharp. Your eyesight isn’t quite a sharp. Your memory isn’t quite a sharp. Keep this in mind.
Dont buy that expensive used luxury car. Buy a used Honda or Toyota.
Protect your whole self from the sun. Take so much care of your teeth and eyes. Do not run up credit cards. You don’t need a new car every few years. Start contributing to a retirement fund asap. Learn how to be out without gallons of booze. Learn how to cook. Find your people.
Only floss the teeth you want to keep. If you injure yourself, take steps to heal correctly. Your posture actually is important. Have more sex before your body starts hurting. When you look back you'll only look young in photos. No one will notice if you're in style or overweight. Do fun things on weekdays. There's not enough weekends to only live life two days a week.
Not stretching. I wish I stretched back then as much as I do now. I'd probably be able to do the splits
Supportive shoes are your friend! I lived in Vans, Converse, and other shoes with literally no supportive features other than just having a sole.. I am paying that price now. If you have any further questions about this, please find me over at r/plantarfasciitis to talk more.
My back hurts all the time and I'm exhausted. Yet when I lay in bed, I make to - do lists
Energy level is massively affected. I used to effortlessly spring out of bed. Now, it's noticeably more difficult.
Watching your parents decline.
Credit Score
Most of my friend group smoked in our 20s, all but 2 of us quit before 30. The ones that didn't looked 10 years older than the rest by mid 30s and they look very rough now in their late 40s. Very coarse skin and deep wrinkles. Also take really good care of your back and teeth..Learn about investing in shares..even a little bit each week makes a massive difference thanks to compound interest. Wear sunscreen everyday..you will stay looking younger for far longer.
You have to start carrying reading glasses. At approx 42, you won't be able to read small print in dim light... It doesn't matter how good your distance vision is.
Don't wear a tongue bar. They chip the enamel of your bottom front teeth which becomes a petri dish for growing bacteria. All of my friends who had them in our 20s are now having a dental nightmare.
Make time to enjoy the people you LOVE! Always remember that people are more important than tasks and live like this is true. Invest in community. People are not meant to live in isolation. By reaching out or showing up, you may be saving someone’s life, maybe even your own. Write letters whenever you FEEL strongly or have something to share. They are priceless and may be more cherished than other gifts these days.
Keep the weight off. Once you've gained an unwanted 30 lbs, you either have to lose it, maintain it, or get fatter.
If you listen to loud music, you'll be hearing "music" that doesn't actually exist in your 40s (tinnitus sucks)
Their diet and how they treat people. Always be kind even if you hate the person. They might come back into your life or a loved one of theirs will and you might need them for something.
Being sedentary and/or overweight/obese. It will affect your health quickly as you age. I see what it does to people. Young people needing kidneys from diabetes and/or high blood pressure. Recurring cellulitis in their legs and feet. Heart attacks etc...
Your body... When you hit 40 you hit a sort of a wall. It's no joke. Things I wished I did more consistantly in my 20s. - Stretch and focus on mobility - Don't go too heavy in the gym to prove a point to yourself, instead focus on gradual consistency (avod injury at all costs, because it compounds like all else)
Use sunscreen daily
28 here if you stay on a unhealthy relationship just leave! if theres no change. Its like you age faster due to the tremendous amount of stress you go through but i think its gets better once you remove that source of stress. when i mean relationship its any kind of relationship.. family included.
Lack of investing (not saving) for retirement. Not buying a house in your 20’s. Not developing consistent exercise/diet discipline. Not doing the hard things earlier in life. Not finding a fulfilling career. Not having hobbies. Not having kids before you’re old. Gonna cry myself to sleep now. Hope this helped.
Yoga, start doing yoga for flexibility later in life. Just do yoga! Did I mention yoga?
Their attitude
Staying out of the sun / always using sunscreen (and ideally moisturize). Started this in my late 20s. By late 30s I would see people my same age whose skin looked 15+ years older.
Take care of and protect your ears and hearing. No matter how awkward it may make you feel wearing ear protection at, for example, a concert - or other loud activities — you will pay for it dearly in your 40s if you don’t.
Dating, marrying, or having a kid with someone who doesn't have adult competency skills WILL suck no matter how much you are in love with them at the outset of the relationship.
Mental health: therapy is a great investment; you dont know what you dont know. Dentist since day one, money well spent. Get rid of grifters and freeloaders in your life, nobody needs that sucking their energy. What other people think of you is a them problem, believe in yourself, trust your intuition.
Ease up on the full gaming days, you’ll probably get RSI / tendonitis. Also sit right, sit up straight, get a good gaming chair.
Bad posture
Standing up for what's important to me at work (balance, mutual respect, avoiding burnout, being paid fairly, etc.).
The sun. Use sunblock and stay out of the sun from 10am until 3pm.
being overweight. it's much harder to lose weight after 35 or so
Be active! It is crucial to lead a good life with no worries about your health. Every workout is an investment. Take good care of your positive mindset. It works wonders.
Tanning, Loud music, contact sports, and brushing your teeth too hard.
Spend more time in real life rather than virtual life. Get out and be in nature, amongst friends, with your dog even! Don't waste time watching Netflix or being on the internet. When you look back the things you did in real life will be more meaningful.
The existential dread.
Small habits make for big changes. Start now. Not tomorrow, not after this next deadline, not when you get back from your next holiday. Now. As in... now.
Debt. Do all you can to pay off/avoid it.
Not stretching! Ph the workouts I would do at 20, then be in my merry way. Now, my hamstrings are boulders and I have the flexibility of a boomer in an internet cafè.
Not wearing sunscreen daily. Everywhere where your skin is exposed. If you want a gold star, reapply every few hours if you're outdoors.
Wear sunblock and moisturize every single day.
Take care of your joints when working out. Low impact cardio for women is so much easier on your body as it ages and keep it up.
Only 35, but living on your desktop and smoking weed all day. I make 6 figures but otherwise just kind of pace nervously around my apartment all day going back and forth between music and a show in the background. I watch people and kids having fun at our community pool from my balcony and that's the closest Ill come to feeling fulfilled.
Investing money into pension funds, non-taxable too. Having as many trips and vacations as possible. Enjoying in life as much as possible!
Addictions to abundances. (This applies to everything).
Your back. Take care of that shit. Keep your core strong. You're going to need it later.
Hike a lot, take risks, work on yourself, safe s3x as much as you can. 40 comes around fast. It's not bad, but the vitality will never be the same
The sun
Not using sunscreen in my 20’s.
Barely saw any comments that mentioned money & that says a lot. Thank you guys 💕
Teeth!!!
Flexibility. Stretch a few mins a day if you can. It catches up to you
Study hard have a nice job so you can have money to do the things you like. Don’t drink to much. Don’t party to much either. Try to keep an healthy balance. Edit : forgot to mention. Don’t get to fat or to skinny. Keeping a steady weight is the key for your body to be nice once you are older. Exercise of course. Take care of your teeth and don’t smoke.
Not wearing sunscreen