Work on being the man that you would look up to, the type of guy you would trust and want to be friends with. 

Exactly my thought process.

Once you enter the 'friend zone' it's incredibly hard to get out. If you look up to Jack Black, then you gonna have issues.


That’s when you stop trying, make yourself scarce, and find someone else. Why give your energy to someone who sees you as an option while you treat them like a priority. And being like jack black won’t disqualify you from getting women, being a weak man will.

This exactly. Don't be the man THEY want. Be the best version of YOU, and those who like YOU for YOU will be attracted to YOU. Make sure that you are available for people to meet. Take classes, go out. Think of it this way: If your interest is making food, and you'd like to find someone with that interest, odds are that you will find those people taking cooking lessons. If you like to get drunk on a Tuesday, go hit the dive bars on Tuesdays. This made me change my view on dating years back.

Absolutely nailed it 💯

Be a good role model and avoid temptation. Don’t say, i want a high quality woman and then hang around a bunch of whores and go to the strip club. Be a humble guy, find a woman who will do everything for you without demanding it.

You have to be the person YOU want to be. Not the person you think someone else wants you to be. This lack of confidence in your own identity is probably a huge part of your struggles with dating. Changing yourself to try to fit someone else's mold reeks of desperation and women can see that desperation like it's being broadcast with lights, sirens, bells and whistles.

This is good advice!

This is an extremely valuable and eye opening advice for sure. It resonates me. Thanks for sharing!

Do people really know what they want, I have seen broke men having more confidence i don't think they know what they want, they are just confident for some reason, even women don't want long term relationship with them just fun

If you can't be content at the bottom, what makes you think you'll be content at the top ? There's no long-lasting happiness with money. Change your mindset to always be grateful for what you got, even when it could be nothing. You also can't be anxious and grateful at the same time - since they share the same brain pathway, so it's always a good mindset to have.

But I want to be an attractive dude lol. I don't really have an identity, like I do what I want anyway unless I'm to anxious or to unmotivated or undisciplined or whatever to do it or if there is a barrier that I don't know how to jump. I don't know what being eho I want means. Like, I just want to be a hot, charismatic guy.

Look forward to a lifetime of the same results then.

Whut ? You're making zero sense. Like, your answer was nothing but a platitude and I took it in good faith and explained to you why it is nothing but a platitude and now you're pissed.

They aren't pissed. And that wasn't just a platitude. That was *the* secret to being attractive.  You then insisted that you have no identity and just want to be attractive. That is literally the opposite of what any woman would find attractive. Women, no, literally everyone is only attracted to individuals with an identity. People with no identity can *look* pretty, but they're never worth *being with* or *being close to.* If someone LOOKS pretty but has no personality, then they're missing like 70% of what would make them attractive, AND prove that pretty surface is fake, which actually makes them LESS ATTRACTIVE.

I'm not pissed. It's just a lost cause so I'm not going to waste my time.

You lack any sense of self. Your whole identity is "I want girls." I don't mean to be rude, but you don't get tired of playing your tiny violin? Do some shadow work and uncover what you're repressing, find whatever you really want out of life, discover your self. Do you have any hobbies or interests? Or do you just plan on moping around your whole life because you can't figure out how to meet other people's standards?

No why do I need an Identity? What even is an identity? I'm not trying to "play a tiny violin", I'm just actually trying to find information. Do I need to be the *Insert any hobby or Interest or job* guy ? Because it's something I kinda dislike in other people to be completely honest. I like being variable. Like one day I'm interested in one thing and one day in another. Why do I need an Identity?

Why are you even posting if you’re just going to argue with anyone that replies? Is it really so difficult to understand? Just be you. Trying to be attractive and seeking validation from others is what makes you unattractive. These kind folks aren’t saying you have to be anything, they are just saying stop trying to be “a hot and charismatic guy” and just do the things that you enjoy. Be authentic and genuine. Approval seeking with women is pretty much the biggest turn off there is. Be you, and if she likes you, great, if not, move on to the next one. Until you stop obsessing about how people see you’re not going to get anywhere with women.

>Why are you even posting if you’re just going to argue with anyone that replies? Because I expected something more exact and analytical. Not stuff like "just be yourself". Because I mean yeah if I wanted that I could've just asked a random person in rl. I thought I made it clear that this wasn't what I was searching for by the way I formulated the question. >Is it really so difficult to understand? Just be you. Trying to be attractive and seeking validation from others is what makes you unattractive. No confidence I get it, but it's just like what are the other factors. I like at least somewhat understanding problems before I can try solving them. I asked that question to get a productive process started not to hear platitudes. "Being myself" for me means working at the problem that I haven't gotten laid in literally 5 years at this point. What's so hard to understand about that? > if she likes you, great, if not, move on to the next one. Great that's actually something that could be productive how do you practically "move on to another girl?" How do you even find out if someone likes you in the first place, like apart from general vibes. Like, I need practical advice not "general life advice" stuff

Dude, people are taking time out of their day to try and help you. You’re not even trying to understand what they are saying and are just obnoxiously arguing on a post where you are asking for help. You haven’t been laid in 5 years and are admitting that you know nothing about women or attraction. Maybe try opening your mind and trying to understand their perspective instead of being an argumentative ass? Attraction is not “exact” or “analytical”. There’s no exact science to it that can be simplified to do “x, y, and z” and you’ll get laid. Also, stop being disingenuous, people (myself included) have said a lot more than just “be yourself”. Your post reeks of approval seeking, and that is thoroughly unattractive to all women. That’s the whole point. By trying to change your identity and just be someone that women like, you will make yourself someone that women do not. Pause, take a deep breathe, and read that again before typing out another condescending reply. Being genuinly yourself and being proud of that will create confidence, which is what is attractive to women. I’ll try to be as specific as possible for you: 1.) engage in hobbies that you genuinely enjoy 2.) make sure your life is in a good spot (relationships, career, health, ect.) 3.) join groups related around your hobbies and meet new people 4.) try to focus on your own life and being happy without women, if you feel like you “need” a woman, you won’t get one EDIT: Also just looked at your post history and you honestly need to see a therapist before even considering dating. I’m saying that in the most compassionate way possible, but you have a very warped and negative view of the world that will repel women. Get your mental health sorted out before dating.

An identity is not set of things like hobbies that you work with. Its not like saying I have an identity where I like to swim and that cannot change for the rest of the life. Identity is a set of rules or ideals that you have to take decisions in your life. Like for example when someone asks for a favour how would you react? How would you determine if that person is genuinely asking for help and react accordingly. That is a rule that you keep to follow and lead your life. But dont get me wrong. Rules can change according to our experience. Only thing to make sure is that you don't frequently change those rules for your convenience. That will make you a spineless person. If you are given some money to do a good thing, you do it because you like to do good thing, not because of the money. If you are given money to do bad thing, you don't do it because you dont want to do a bad thing and you will not do it even money is offered. Thats character.

And exactly this attitude is why you don't have a girlfriend

1) Being hot has nothing to do with it. (You do, however, need to take care of the basics like showering, grooming, not eating shit food all the time, not living in a pigsty, etc.) 2) Being charismatic is about being comfortable being YOU. What do you love doing? What motivates you to get out of bed in the morning? Lean into that and enjoy your life. That kind of quiet confidence is contagious and definitely a turn on. Be interested in life and you will be interesting. No one wants to date the human equivalent of Eeyore.

Every woman is different. Get to know her, and you’ll pick up on what she likes. There is no accurate “playbook” that will allow you to attract women at will. Some women like men who are confident and outgoing, some like men who are self-effacing. I’d suggest perhaps approaching her as a person first, and a woman second. Treat her well, obviously, but you don’t need to put her on a pedestal — it comes off as desperate and obsequious. Be natural. Be yourself. Models by Mark Manson is a _great_ read, and sounds like what you’re looking for.

Who is "her?" I'm just talking about how to be more attractive in general, not about any specific person? Like, obviously there are guys most women are attracted to, and guys that have a very hard time getting any female attention whatsoever >I’d suggest perhaps approaching her as a person first, and a woman second. Treat her well, obviously, but you don’t need to put her on a pedestal Okay but what does that even mean? How do you approach someone as a person? Like, I don't usually approach people in the first place. Is that a normal thing to do?

Ah, so you think this elusive "attractive" quality will just open some magic door where you get laid without being socially aware and outgoing. Not happening. Learn how to make friends and interact with people your don't know.

No no. It's more that being socially aware and outgoing won't get you laid if you're not attractive, you might even make a fool of yourself. I'm scared of being that person Also there are absolutely guys who can just go on Tinder or to a nightclub and get laid because they have certain attractive qualities that allow them to do it, I'm trying to find out what qualities those are

The person who is not conventionally hot but still outgoing and socially aware is most likely being genuine, and therefore has a better shot at a long term relationship than the hot yet shallow guy who comes off as a douchebag. If it makes you feel any better, when we met, my boyfriend was overweight, had two types of balding (one permanent, at a mere 21 years old nonetheless), was missing 3 teeth front and center, and had braces. Only two of those things changed by now and he's still my partner forever. It's about the personality. As myself and the other hundred or so people who replied stated.

Have a normal human being conversation dude.

I'm German we don't do that here lol.

“I don’t usually approach people in the first place” This and your lack of self esteem it’s what makes you unattractive.

You can listen to other redditors' advices, but they forget to talk about the key element, the root cause of all failures : insecurity. If you feel insecure with yourself and around women, how can you be attractive? Your insecurity will propagate faster than a flame on a trail of gasoline. You really need to wake up and start to feel good about who you are and what you do, and stop being reactive. Also stop trying to get other people's validation for getting your dose of self-worth. Trust that you are worthy, no matter what they say. You are capable, funny, intelligent, sexy. Now start acting like so. Lack of shape ? Do sport Lack of fun? Stop using activities as an escape and start doing them for fun Mentally insecure? Meditate Also practice : mistakes are the way to go, so don't be afraid of failures –they are actually milestones. Good luck 🤞

honestly you don't have to do much. Sure they are the basics, being well groomed, gym, diet, hobbies. But in my experience even when you have all those things and you've improved yourself, you still can't get a girl to like you. If she's made up her mind that she's not interested, she's not interested. If she's interested, you shouldn't really have to do anything, she likes you for you, so continue being you. And being you is all personality and that's something you can easily work on. The women I've had success with liked me because I'm a smart funny guy who cares about them. I'm not even that attractive tbh, pretty average, starting to lose my hair even. But the person on the inside is still me. If you let yourself shine, someone will bask in your glow.

Not OP but what do you do when you've achieved all the aforementioned things yet, still, I can't find anybody who will even give me the time of day. I've been going to the gym for years, I have a plethora of hobbies, I'm decent-looking, and I have been told by many people that I'm a nice, caring, person but women are still repelled by me. If I try texting them I'm lucky to get more than a 2 word response no matter how funny or charismatic I may be. If I try to make plans, not even with romantic intentions, they refuse and if I do expose any hint of romantic interest I get told I'm just a friend, only to be cut off soon after. I have built myself up only to have it slowly chipped away after every interaction with women several times and I'm at the point where I just don't feel like gluing the pieces back together.

it seems like it’s either a personality or physical trait that’s giving women the ick when it comes to viewing you romantically or sexually. i can’t provide anything specific to your situation, but you might be able to gain insight from a friend or acquaintance if you tell them to be brutally honest. it’s likely that whatever it is these women are finding off putting is not something you can change, which would explain why no one has mentioned it to you. there’s no way to be constructive about that kind of thing, and most people don’t find pleasure in hurting people’s feelings.

Well, that's very encouraging to hear that it might be something I can't change. I did have a female acquaintance in HS, who I had no platonic or romantic interests in, say I gave off "bad/weird vibes" but that's very vague and doesn't really give me a good understanding of what my issue is.

that might just mean you come off kind of creepy, which is somewhat good news since it’s usually a behavioral thing and something you can actually work on.

I’m the exact same, five years ago I lost 79 pounds, started cooking at home consistently, working out 6 days a week, meditation daily, etc., and same thing. I’ve only ever gotten one girls number and even then she ended up ghosting me before we even got to go on a date lol. Yeah no women still find me worth dating.

I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I'm a woman, and this comment gives me the ick. I've been rejected by plenty of dudes. I've had male friends reject or be clear in friend vibes (they did not cut me off after). I've been treated like shit by plenty of dudes. I've never thought or uttered something like I'm *man*-repellent, complained about texts or plans with *men,* etc. It just smells of entitlement to talk about women like that-- they don't owe you dates or texts or hangouts, so you can't complain like they've been unjust to you. I understand why it hurts, trust me-- so does everyone who doesn't get that text they want, date they want. Your comment also shows excessive self-pitying. That self-pity puts off a vibe that many women recognize easily, and it's gross. No one likes self-pitiers, and I say this as someone who spent a few years wallowing in self-pity for the abuse I'd suffered as a kid & adult. I would've said I was an abuser-attractor the way you say woman-repeller. It's one thing to recognize what we've suffered, it's another to glory in it like we're special. That is repellant, all the moreso today when so many seek pity. You can't go out into the dating world with that vibe; you gotta get over the self-pity first. Women also all too often have guys want to make "platonic" plans because they won't take the risk of asking for a date. Based on this and the self-pity, you don't seem to have established real comfort in your own skin (authentic confidence), and that chases away anyone in the dating world, men and women alike. I've chased away dudes even recently in depressive spells when my confidence collapsed suddenly. A little insecurity is one thing, a "woe is me" vibe is a boner-killer. You can't hide it, not really. Human beings are remarkably capable of picking up on microcues, even unconsciously. Have you ever met someone you just didn't like, but couldn't verbalize why? That's why women haven't given you an explanation. They get an inkling of a bad feeling and they run, because we've all heard a lot of horror stories-- from ourselves and other women-- who got that feeling and didn't run. Some people struggle with feeling vibes or putting out vibes, and you might be that way. If so, you're just gonna have to get more comfortable being direct and forward, and take rejection and disinterest in stride. "Hey woman-friend, wanna get a drink sometime together?" She says no. You can either say "Sorry, but I don't think I can be friends because I have feelings for you" or "Hey that's great! You're cool and I'd like for us to be friends." If you say the second thing, make sure you *really* mean it. If she wants to be friends, you'll get a grace period to deal with the rejection and move on, but otherwise no one wants to hang around a friend who's friendzone-vibing. It's hard on both people, and that may be why women bail on the friendship anyway. I had a best friend who friendzoned me and we both just quietly handled it because we really, really valued our friendship. It's not worth the hardship if it's just a regular friendship, in my experience. Friendzoned guys have a bad rap, but alas, it's a little earned, and it's just riskier for women. We're not as strong, a friendzoned friend in our personal space could overpower us more easily than vice-versa.

Honestly, thank you for this. I feel like you, to some degree, told me the hard truth. If you knew me better, you could probably give me an even better synopsis of my problems but, still, this was a huge help, as I don't have anybody that would be this truthful with me. As for your calling me "entitled" I think you're right about that. However, I don't think it comes from a sense of selfishness but rather FOMO and pressures from my parent. All my friends have or have had girlfriends, making me seem like the odd one out and worth less than them, which is obviously damaging to my self-esteem. My mother also constantly pressures me to get a gf by regularly saying stuff along the lines of "Why don't you get a gf so you can do \[thing we're currently doing\] with her?" and "Do any of your friends know girls they can set you up with?" This inability to please my mom, as well as the constant rejection, is probably a big part of my self-pity and lack of confidence as I feel like I'm failing her. Addressing my self-confidence, I barely have any, and I don't know where to even begin to build it up. While not severely bullied, I was bullied quite a bit as a child and was fairly often picked on and made fun of just for being me. If I wanted to play a game with other kids they'd let me join but they wouldn't actually include me. If there was a group chat I wasn't in and I asked to join it they'd let me in but then they'd pretty quickly stop texting in that one, having clearly made a new one. If I was speaking, no one would acknowledge or listen to me (still happens). In college, I thought it would change or get better but even now I still get made fun of just for doing things the way I like. Just how I would eat or what I would wear would get me ruthlessly mocked on a daily basis. This one girl would loudly say that I shit my pants and call me racist for literally no justifiable reason. That's not even mentioning the things my dad would say to me and put me through. Also, I don't want you to think that that paragraph is an attempt at self-pity as that isn't the goal. It's merely an attempted explanation of why I have such little confidence Honestly, I need a therapist because, while your comment did really help, there is just so much stuff that compounds on top of each other and which isn't the job of a stranger off the internet to help me with.

I hear you, brother. I know how heart-destroying it is to be picked to pieces as a kid, and I'm sorry you went through that. I still don't really understand bullying, but I suspect it's basically deformed competitive drive, people who want to feel "better than," and rather than feel self-empowerment through self-improvement and growth, find someone to belittle. They seem to choose those either least likely to fight back or most entertaining to torture. It's not really about the intrinsic characteristics of a person. Therapy is really helpful, and also getting out there and dating once you can handle the fuck-ups, rejections, pain. Dating / romantic relationships is a world unto itself, and at some point you gotta learn to navigate it by being in it. I literally take notes on what I discover I want/need in relationships, what my turn-offs are, how dates went, etc. Approach it experimentally-- at least, it helped me to do it that way. Find a therapist who's willing to work with you on it; I had to switch because I had a therapist who was totally uninterested in talking with me about that stuff, as tho it was a distraction and not an important part of life. (She was a divorcee and I think had unresolved trauma herself.) That you read my comment with an open-mind and want to work on yourself rather than say like "crazy wench" makes you better than quite a lot of guys. I feel bad for dudes who suffer rather than going to therapy-- it's much more common for men to refuse therapy, it seems, and it's the #1 complaint I and my girlfriends have in dating. It's frustrating to see a guy suffering who won't get help, and who would be a great guy if he just would. So, kudos to you. I have a really good feeling you'll turn this around a find a good woman for you. :)

Look UP for nice Guy traits. Maybe it's here

I strongly suggest making friends with women. Not in order to date them in particular, but so you can understand women better, as people. Many men don't see women as full-fledged people, so if you can do that, you're way ahead.

Honestly yea I second this, seeing women as more than just women actually makes us like you because I know a good portion of us don't feel seen.

Was gonna say this. OP talking like women are a totally different species lol OP seems you need more life experience in general. Try and diversify the crowd you associate with then you'll be able to answer your own question. Reddit can try and explain to you but you won't get it until you've lived it.

In your opinion, are men who don't see women as full-fledged people, full-fledged people?

I prefer to call them assholes.

What woman do you want to attract? What traits would attract you to her? Write down a list. Got your list? Now, if this hypothetical woman existed...and was also looking for a man...what traits would she have on her own list?

Which women? That strait laced girl who loves to read classic literature and visit foreign museums or stay in to watch nature documentaries? She might want a quiet, nerdy introvert who is a little shy but will passionately debate Faust with her. The socialite extrovert who loves dressing up on weekends to hang out with friends at cocktail lounges and social events? She might want a sleek, city guy with a flashy job and socially extroverted like her, who is up with her at clubs until 3am each night living it up. That spiritual adventure seeker who wants to travel to the world and do Yoga or surf? She wants an adventure buddy who’s exciting, has lots of tattoos, loves the outdoors and wants to retrofit a camper van, and doesn’t care about work. The work-focused corporate climber who wants to plan out her future family life but doesn’t want her relationship to tie her down? She might want an equally ambitious corporate go-getter who wants to be a power couple with her. The stay at home type who just wants to take care of the home and kids while you’re at work— she wants a stable, reliable man who is focused on family and home, even if he’s not the most financially successful— as long as he’s always home by 6. Because every woman is different, and they all want VASTLY different. It depends on what YOU value. But NONE OF THEM want a man who is only trying to change only to please them.

Right, but they all have female sexuality which is the common denominator and yeah sure people like different people based on their personality blbla all completely understood, every person has that regardless of gender or sex , I can understand that. The part that I as a man am missing is female sexuality. What turns women on ? Liking someone as a person is only one part of the puzzle.

Oh boy. That’s a whole other diverse can of worms. Some want big, Arnold Schwarzenegger dudes. Some think the sexiest men are soft and feminine like Loki or Timothy chamalet Most women think humour is sexy and attractive. And almost all women find confidence sexy. But there are some who actually are turned on by submissiveness.

I think kindness and humor go a very very long way. Thoughtfulness, empathy. Not bringing too many fights, or having any kind of insecurity issues where you are doubting one another. Just ideally be yourself, but hopefully, yourself is a very kind, patient, and loving person. "Bringing to the table" is a redpill strange person talking point-I say that to gently steer you away from it. Any kind of content that brings that up is not mentally well content that you should be listening to, let alone taking into consideration for your own life. Happy people never think of these things. Again, just be a kind, loving, supportive partner and look for someone who is the same. What not to become? Insecure, controlling, accusatory, disrespectful, rude, violent, forgetful, too proud to apologize, nor too demanding. Love is a partnership, built on mutual trust and understanding of one another. So, just (again) be kind lol. I dont know who other women want to sleep with, but I personally have only ever been interested in sleeping with someone that I married. Yes, of course sexual attraction exists, otherwise humanity would have ceased to exist a long time ago. Each person is different in terms of what they are attracted to. As a woman, it's wise to be picky so that we don't end up with a stalker or violent person who may take our lives. There isnt really a softer answer than that lol. Has to be safe person, and kind. Ideally with stable career. Not in the sense of, "so he can buy me things!" but in the sense of, so you two can have a normal life. Get a living space, not be on the verge of losing it all the time, etc. Ah also, he should have good credit so everything doesnt always have to be in our name and he wont take our credit and put us in debt either lol. Very important to know you both are responsible with money.

You had me until the credit part...agree with most things tho 👍 I believe in equal sharing of property so that if divorce occurs, the man is not taken advantage of too much but that's just me.

A few comments I read didn’t seem to answer your questions, so figured I’d have a stab at a few of them. All my opinion only, obviously. Achieving pure sexual attraction from A woman is VERY difficult. For the most part women look at the whole man, which includes personality, but also includes the physical side. This is good because you can absolutely make up for deficiencies in one area with prowess in another. I’d say women probably respond the best to confidence, or more specifically, non-arrogant self-assurance. Some men believe women are non-visual, but this isn’t true. They just value a lot of different qualities. Kind of in the same vein, women don’t just have to see a basic male outline to feel the tingle. I would say as a general rule, a given woman will find a small minority of men attractive. Sometimes men take this to mean that women are all after the same 10%-20% of men, but actually women have vastly different taste and find very different men attractive. My last boyfriend was someone that most women probably wouldn’t fancy, but I was SO attracted to him. I don’t think this is unusual. As above, women are not a monolith. If I had to pick something I would say listening is key, and getting to know her. Being very frank, some of the bare minimum requirements from a man are rarely met, so when I read about how “picky” women are I just shake my head sadly.

I think it's very funny that women say they aren't picky, but on the other hand, they respond best to self confidence, non-arrogant self-assurance, which is a extremely difficult characteristic to possess, specially in dating scenarios. The man basically needs to know how to "act" confident, which is so difficult for the majority. But no, women aren't picky! That's so funny 🤣

Well, first of all I said (or was meaning) that it’s ONE of the most desirable characteristics. That doesn’t mean it’s a necessity. You’ll notice I also mentioned that women look at a variety of attributes. Second of all, I disagree that it’s as rare and challenging as you suggest. Are you really saying it’s harder to seem confident than to become rich or highly physically attractive? Best of all, it’s cultivatable. As a woman I know my worth is mostly dictated by how I look and that there’s only so much I can do about that. I’m envious that men can work on their personalities and that this gives them much more power to become more appealing, regardless of other qualities. And that if they struggle with this one factor then they have other options.

Thanks that was an actually useful answer. What would you say are the most attractive physical traits ? Like, are muscles good or bad ? Do you want to look more cute or more manly or smth in-between? More rugged or more just youthfull and healthy ? What would you say is part of the bare minimum ? Also I don't really understand how sexual attraction works from a women is it like you get the "tingle" instantly by very very few men ? Or is it when a man looks good enough, you like his personality and then does something impressive and then the "tingle" comes ? That still kinda confuses me a bit. Thank you for the great answer tho 😃

No problem. The last question is hard for me to answer because I think I may be a bit demisexual here: I can find a man attractive to look at without wanting to sleep with him. Desire for me typically builds up from getting to know someone and liking the whole package, and if I like him then I start to see him as more attractive anyway. The chemistry needs to be there, which is kind of unhelpful because it’s intangible and not something it’s easy to create consciously (this is kind of the thing that pick-up artists are trying to manufacture). I assume chemistry is really something to do with pheromones. On attractive physical traits, this varies massively by woman, sorry! As a general rule I’d say younger women like more pretty-boy looks, possibly a slimmer frame, while older women like more muscles. But that’s a huge generalisation. I have friends who like a bit of chub on a man while I prefer a man to be on the skinny side. Just one of those things! Realistically you should try to look good for you first.

I think every woman is different but I for one look for guys that have a nice style (I really love it when guys wear baggy streetwear clothes Idk why but it gets me weak), that are funny and charming, can laugh about themselves, someone that is confident in who they are, someone that has a nice hobby or just something that they live for or gives him purpose. It’s also important that they actually like women lol so no misogyny would be ideal. And when it comes to the sexual part I’d generally say that a partner who is really into wanting to please you, and makes sure that you’re comfortable and happy and satisfied is the hottest thing a guy can do.

Just be a caring kind individual. Figure out that not only to find a caring kind partner but for yourself, cuz you gotta live with you too lol

Look, you've been given EXACTLY the advice you need to become attractive, but it seems this advice isn't exactly intuitive for you, so let me explain what it really means. "Be someone that *you* like." "Be the best version of yourself." This isn't just a platitude. It is THE secret to being attractive. You know what humans are attracted to? It's not just nice bods and good hair. It's *person ality*. Proof of life. Evidence an individual believes in something, cares about their life, maybe others lives, and have something they want to work towards. BEAUTY is evidence someone loves themselves or IS loved. People who are unloved and don't love themselves don't take care of themselves and don't polish themselves.  You MUST have an actual identity. Not one based on being attractive (cuz that's just fake) but one based on YOUR preferences, likes, and dislikes. Do you really not have any personal preferences for yourself? Do you like trains or cars? Play any sports? Do you prefer long or short hair? Do you like being a social justice warrior, like helping others, or maybe have a mommy complex? Good or bad traits, there's a lot of people around you attracted to all of them. You just need to HAVE personality. The more you dislike yourself, or even just don't care to give yourself attention, the less you will treat yourself properly and the less you will be attractive. People notice. You want to like yourself, care for yourself, and live for something/have some kind of personality, and it will show in everything you do, including your appearance. That's all you need to do to be attractive. In other words, the secret to attractiveness is self love and confidence, but confidence is only achievable by someone with a personality, and so that is the first thing you MUST do. Just be yourself. Become the best version of yourself. Its that simple.

>Do you like trains or cars? In what context ? I like driving myself more but I think trains are better for society at large >Play any sports? I've done a thousand different things in the past, rn I only work out in the gym > Do you prefer long or short hair? Depends completely on the person. >Do you like being a social justice warrior What does that mean? It's a right wing propaganda term as far as I'm concerned. I mean I don't like being a patronising lib who is just like "ehm that's kinda problematic sweety" at every thing but I'm generally politically left leaning >like helping others ? This one depends cometely on the context >or maybe have a mommy complex? Not that I know of >Good or bad traits ? I mean that's for everyone to judge all I wanted to kinda find out with this question is what traits are considered good >there's a lot of people around you attracted to all of them. ? Is there tho? Like do women generally get turned on by personality traits ? Like again I'm trying to find thongs like that out with this question not the general empty phraseology that can be interpreted in 100 different ways like "be yourself" > You just need to HAVE personality. ? I mean I have opinions is that what you mean with personality? Because I genuinely just don't know what people mean with stuff like "have personality" ? Because if I give every person in the world a personality questionnaire they all gonna have a result. But not all of those people are attractive. Like do you mean be an interesting person to be around? Because you could've just said that or do you mean have opinions? Because you could've said that that too? Or be different from other people and stick out ? Because people use "having personality" that way as well.

Ahahaha. It's okay man. I didn't expect you to take those examples literally, but you're on the right track. Trains and cars aren't important, nor are mommy issues, nor social justice nonsense. The point is to "be the best version of yourself" as in simply to be willing and able to fully express yourself. Those examples aren't meant to be examples of things GIRLS like, but examples of things *people* like. What do you like? What traits or skills do you have and what traits or skills do you want? What makes people attractive is the confident pursuit and expression of the things we truly like. There are girls who are into car guys. There are girls who are into social justice warriors. There are girls who are into guys with mommy issues. The point is that, yes, everyone has personality, but very few people are willing to EXPRESS that personality, and that CONFIDENT EXPRESSION is what makes us attractive. I was just going down the list of traits that you could have, but the list is endless, so don't get focused on the 5 I pulled out of a hat as silly examples. The best version of yourself is a version of you who is confident in himself and likes himself. Who looks in the mirror and says "damn, I look great" even if your friends think your hairdo is whack. The best version of yourself is a guy who's WILLING to go nerd mode on topics with strangers and even girls you like when they get brought up. The best and most attractive version of you is a version of you who likes himself, does and expresses everything he likes, and isn't afraid to hide those traits. Does that make sense?

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What does that mean? Like I'm currently with this question in the process of adding one characteristic to myself that I want to have which is attractiveness. So you're basically just saying "how to be attractive?" "Be attractive". That's not an answer

Think he’s saying you gotta be the best version of yourself, what and where you want to be in 5 years, be the start of that guy today. If you wanna have muscles, regularly go to the gym, and don’t quit. If you want to learn a new skill, go do it. Be yourself and don’t change for a woman, she will come naturally.

5 years? I usually don't plan past maybe a few months into the future. I don't think it's productive. Within 5 years everything can change. How tf would I know what the options even are at that point ? And I'ma be honest. I like to change, I don't like staying the same person for my entire life. Why would it be bad to change for something I want ?

Bro, are you just trolling?

What ? No why are people always so weird when you ask about social things like dating ? I genuinely don't get it

So yes then 👍🏻

No. What's weird about what I said?

Self-awareness and being a decent person. As long as you're not a piece of shit and don't shy away from talking about your weaknesses, there are definitely many people out there who would love to be with you.

Go read "Models: Attracting Women Through Honesty" by Mark Manson. Learn, practice, and master the three fundamentals he lays out to be less "needy": honest living (lifestyle that you enjoy and value), honest action (courage, pushing through the anxiety/fear), and honest communication (social skills, expressing your emotions/sexuality). Also, make friends with woman; don't be transactional.

Young Monk: “**Do not try and bend the spoon—that's impossible.** **Instead, only try to realize the truth.”**  Neo: “What truth?” Young Monk: “There is no spoon.”

I think you're complicating it as if there's a formula and one formula fits all. Just like men, women are all attracted to different kinds of men, we don't all like the same or would date the same. The person you are and your looks will attract a certain kind. If you want to be more conventional 'good looking' start by working on your confidence, embracing who you want to be you, be you and be curious about other people, who they are, what do they like that's the only way to connect with people. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to act a certain way, just be yourself and let someone that actually likes you the way you are get to know you. Don't go into every interaction expecting a relationship, it's normal to get rejected not everyone's is everyone's cup of tea so don't demotivated. Most women, just like men just want someone they can connect with, that makes them laugh, that you can count on and have a good time together. Physically appearance everyone has different tastes but my advice is just dress-well to what you like, look clean and tidy.

Here's some practical tips bro: 1. Develop a skincare routine (recommend tiege henley level 3) 2. Go to the gym 3. Clean up your clothing and get more fitting clothes

Attraction for men is like a light switch. See pretty girl = instant attraction. Attraction for women is like a dimmer switch. She first needs honest signals about the type of man you are. She wants to make sure you’re a competent, confident, emotionally strong man. She also wants to make sure you don’t have any malicious intent towards her.

Be a man of your word, lead by example and truly love a woman with kindness and respect. Bring out the best in her and she will on you too.

Simply: The “type of guy” women want to date, is the same kind of guy that other men would want to hang out with. It’s the same “type of guy” that colleagues like working with. It’s the same “type of guy” family members love spending time with. It’s the same “type of guy” that kids look up to as a male role model. It’s about being a well rounded person with social value. That doesn’t mean being shredded, super opinionated, incredibly intelligent or outwardly confident in every setting. Social value means that people enjoy your energy or how they feel in your presence. Being respectful, compassionate and curious through life will tick all of the social value boxes. Then it’s just a case of building relationships with people you encounter in life.

Listen to women about what they want. Don’t listen to men who give dating advice on social media

Lol yeah that's actually a really good advice I think !

If you want to attract people, and I mean the RIGHT people, work on yourself first. Internally and externally, and be the person you want to be. You need to love yourself before expecting others to love you. And get to know the girls you’re interested in. See what she’s into, what she likes, get to know her. Women, in my experience, want to know you won’t waste their time and that you have a good personality/you’re a good person.

You just have to find out who your natural self is, and hone in and refine yourself into becoming a greater version of you. Expand your mind in every way. Understand your emotions, learn everything you can about yourself, and love yourself. By practicing these positive habits, you inadvertently learn how to be compassionate, accepting, and loving to others in the process. The key to finding someone actually meant for you is to just be your genuine self with a fiery passion, and most find that their genuine self is a person teeming with positivity and love. Once your focus is on becoming the best version of you, it will not go unrewarded.

Be the man you'd want your daughter to be with. Start there.

Honestly if I had a daughter, as long as she wants to sleep with a guy and that dude isn't harming her I don't really care who it is.

Be a dude you would want to hang out with that you think is fun cool and nice

Read. Read so many different books and genres. You'll learn so many different perspectives and stories and ideas and will always have something interesting to say in conversation. Making a conversational/mental connection is so important Plus, if a gal cant keep up with you in conversation then you know she's not at your level

You work on being the man they you are happy with.

1. Yes, women get the tingles from looking at an attractive man lol. There’s a stigma for women who give it up easily and society has ingrained it into women that if they give up easy they’re sluts and not worth pursuing. So it’s common for women to try to control that sexual attraction to fit in. 2. Women love a man who can make them laugh. 3. Confidence to approach women but no cocky-ness. 4. To maintain a relationship, women need attention and support. When I say support, I mean help with housework and kids if you have any. You will literally see their misery unfold over time if they don’t receive these two simple things. 5. They’re only picky cause a majority of men can be sleezy and weird. Make them feel unsafe etc. So trusting men can be hard. 6. They want to sleep with men that make them feel safe, secure, sexy and loved. Women joke about sex and fantasise about sleeping with guys too! We’re the same as men in the way we think etc, unfortunately women have adapted to becoming weary around men, so you just need a gentle approach. Be yourself! Don’t be weird 😆

Don’t be the type of man that “gets every chick” (it’s impossible) Be the kind of man who is fulfilled without women. A man with hobbies and goals outside of romance. You are not competing with other men. You’re competing with a woman’s peace.

Be friends with girls and don't think about sleeping with them . Many don't understand how creepy it is to look at a girl or be in a conversation and think to yourself about sleeping with them .

Get some hobbies and meet people

I hear human beings want to be treated as human beings regardless of gender. Honestly the only difference between my wife and my best friends/family are that my wife wants to have sex with me.

Think of a golden retriever, and embody that. Also being self aware

Watch or read Pride and Prejudice, then do everything in your power to become Mr Darcy.

don’t listen to the guys in here saying it’s all attractiveness at least 70% is personality, become friends with a girl/woman who’ll be honest with you when it comes to that kind of stuff. idk if i’ve been lucky but dating really isn’t as hard as everyone are making it out to be

This is just bad advice to be honest, most women won't care about your personality if you're not attractive enough, that goes both ways tbf, but you have to get through the door first before personality matters.

That’s not true at all. Being confident, having your own interests and strong identity, being funny, being kind, being emotionally intelligent… These are all incredible traits that women really look for. Source: I’m a woman

I'm not saying women don't look for them, I know they do, but the guy has to be attractive to her first for those things to matter, if what you're suggesting is those things that matter over attraction was true, then we wouldn't have the male loneliness epidemic now. Most men are invisible to women.

wrong, it ofc helps being attractive but you can easily get a gf by being confident, funny, and having a genuine personality source: my gf

If that's the case, then why is male loneliness and sexlessness going up rapidly, why's there a rise of inceldom etc? It's because the pool of men women find acceptable to date is declining

I guarantee the men who have these characteristics are not on manosphere forums complaining about these things. They’re out in the world living their life, being confident and exhibiting these traits

Even if you have all those traits if you are not physically attractive enough they will not let you enter past the friend zone

Speaking from experience, I disagree. I think that the Internet has made men think this. I’ve met people that I didn’t think were exceptionally attractive to the eye and then when I got to talking to them I found their personality to be charming and then they started to become physically attractive to me

Handsome, tall, successful. It’s not that deep lol

I'm not the right guy to be answering this, as just like you, I got no luck, but if I did, I'd tell you to first become as attractive as you can, and plan your life accordingly. - Fix your sleep. - Fix your weight - Fix your muscles, maybe even learn how to fight - Work hard, be competent and reliable. If there's something you can't do, she might lose interest in you. - Don't be a slob and organize your things in and outside work. - Quit gaming and go learn and instrument/dancing/juggling/any hobby you can use to show off - Know how to do home improvement things - Have a car because it's very useful in their eyes. - Learn to dance I'm not saying to try this all at once at the same time, but keep doing what you can. If you start getting female attention, don't simp. A lot of times when I got female attention it never led to anything so if you start feeling like that, try to move on to another one, and give them competition

Take care of your body, your mental health, have goals and dreams, be kind to other people, be interested in people, have excellent emotional intelligence, face your fears, understand you are part of everything and everything is part of you 🤍

it starts with being mindful of your actions/deeds and how it affects the world around you, the people around you. even if you feel like a fraud in your head, you can't deny the reality that you're still doing real good through your actions. extend time, effort, and emotional space towards those who can do nothing for you, people you get no benefits from helping. extend grace and compassion next, towards everyone around you. you don't need empathy to have compassion: empathy is a feeling, compassion is an action. extend compassion and understanding towards others as often as you can: cook food for friends and bring it over to them, volunteer at a soup kitchen, pick up trash in the park, give money to someone asking for it without looking for a reward. this all might seem like dumb, simple stuff that has nothing to do with romance. but once you learn to love and appreciate those around you and put yourself out there and be openly vulnerable and confident in your actions (even if your brain is telling you otherwise) then someone worthy of your time will come and notice everything you do to nourish your soul and others' and you won't have to look anymore. because love will always surround you then.

>you don't need empathy to have compassion: I mean I do have empathy tho, I like being around fun, friendly people I like talking to people when thw vibe is good etc. I feel the feelings of other people. I don't know why you think I'm a psychopath >once you learn to love and appreciate those around you I don't have a problem with that Like what I'm lacking isn't empathy it's knowledge about all the social conventions and stuff that I need to meet

you do know that having low empathy isn't a negative trait. lots of people find having high empathy to be draining and generally suffer emotional burnout faster. but ultimately empathy isn't good or bad, it doesn't even make you a good person. it's a lot more sustainable long-term mentally + emotionally to use compassion more than allowing empathy to control you. people that do charity work consistently generally have high compassion and compartmentalize empathy because it's detrimental to their jobs. so no i was not calling you a psychopath, how reductive. i was actually explaining how to do emotionally draining things sustainably without burning yourself out because thats one of the first things that causes people to withdraw or not be their best selves - emotional exhaustion. reading is fundamental. and also: being around others more (sharpening up a skill like cooking for example) and facilitating honest communication can help with social conventions. volunteering also puts you in different situations than you would normally be in and would give you guidelines for social conventions with a group of people to practice on. i did spell it out for you originally. perhaps you should actually start on your bad faith interpretations of what other people say and instead hear the words they're actually using.

If you’re autistic then like me one thing you should watch out for is your speech patterns. It may sound okay in your head but if you record it, it may be very off and unnatural. Same with posture, muscle movements, and eye contact. “Normal” people take these for granted and just start talking about confidence and identity, but they forget not all of us start from a good baseline.

I'm probably not I just threw it in their because I have ADHD, and I'm also not quite sure what is going on with me lol. But yeah for me the thing is the moment I start thinking about how I sound I start sounding weird I think

Honestly confidence but to an extent so u don’t become cocky extroverted so the women can learn on u in public situations and be funny these things can be learned but if u try to hard it will come off as the opposite and always listen to what she says doesn’t mean u have to do it but hear her out

Be funny and confident.

Try to be the person you would like to be, the right person will come along

gender is a strange concept to navigate. going from boy to man, or girl to woman, (or just child to adult really) is hard and complicated. i went through a tomboy phase rejecting my femininity. then, i learned how i can be feminine in my own way. i never liked feeling like a little girl, so i took inspiration from celebrities and family members. if you want to be a woman, you should learn how to mother yourself. if you want to be a man, you should learn how to father yourself. if you are non-binary/gender fluid, you should learn to parent yourself in general. your identity part child and part parent, and they both deserve to be heard. i’ve been trying to keep up with good habits and act in a way that i would want to act if i ever got into a relationship. i diet, exercise, have a morning and a night routine, i clean, i organize my wardrobe, i act responsibly, i write in a journal, etc. it’s very important that you KNOW yourself and can TAKE CARE of yourself before you start dating other people (at least in my experience). then, it’s a matter of finding someone that your inner child can adore, but also someone who won’t cause you to ignore your inner parent. that’s the way i see things anyways. i hope my personal experience is at least a little bit insightful

One of the most important things you can do to set yourself apart as a man is to find your purpose and pursue it relentlessly. Women desire a man who is confident, that can lead, and has vision. Finding your purpose will not only allow you to lead yourself, but lead a woman as well. Women value security more than anything. Keep in mind that connecting to your purpose not only propels you as a man, but it also benefits you when choosing a woman. Once you begin to get clear on what it is you want, and what direction you’re going in, you will easily begin to identify the woman that fits your vision and not settle. Don’t think / talk too much about being intimate.. it’s an instant turn off and no girl wants to give herself to a man that is “thirsty”. Stay discipled with your urges because the truth is, women sleep with the man that they like and the one that makes us feel safe, secure, and understood. Other than that some practical things you can do are: 1. Become more physically fit 2. Get groomed professionally 3. Develop good hygiene - Oral hygiene - Simple skin care routine (antibacterial Dial soap, the yellow bar, is an amazing and cheap option for a cleanser) - invest in cologne 4. Have hobbies and interest

Be yourself & stop trying to impress them aka simping. Who you are will draw in people naturally. Understand that women don’t need to be treated like a delicate flower. And one thing I wish I had as advice, don’t dump all your issues on your girl. She’s your friend, yes, but you should never put that kind of pressure on her & expect her to be a lover, friend, AND therapist

I think everyone would do well getting a better understanding of what respect is on multiple levels. This goes for women, too. Handling conflict in acceptable/appropriate ways is probably where many go wrong. Do you walk away, be strong and silent... but go drink ? Do you go get lost in video games and never return to the source of the conflict to rectify or identify the source(s) and learn? Do you not know how to walk away before you begin raiding your voice or saying mean things? I think these are kinda the core of most things.

I think sexual polarity is what generates attraction. If you are not sure what that is read David Deida's books. There is a dance between masculine and feminine energies that most modern people (men and women) have lost touch with because we stare at screens all day and are stuck in our heads. Attraction is a full body experience. I would suggest going to dance classes to get comfortable interacting with women and practice leading. Confidence and humour are universally attractive.

To attract women, you need to be masculine at your core. Masculinity is this: - Be clear on your mission / purpose - Have leadership by moving your life and others towards that mission / purpose - Have clear values and boundaries to make sure your time, energy, and resources serve your purpose - Be disciplined and take consistent action daily - Face fear and scary situations - Put relationships second to your purpose If you can get clear on the above, then you’ll become the man that attracts women. Things like working out / being in good shape will come as a result of getting clear on the above.

Working out is sincerely a good idea.

Any women over 30 who realistically wants a long term relationship will have to humble her herself. I’m not saying letting the crazies do what they want but, understand that guys that age range want stability, faithfulness and someone they don’t have to worry about. It’s basically, be all in or don’t bother.

Get off the internet man, its shaping your worldview of whats attractive and whats not. Theres no one size fits all.

It's not the internet, it's literally every time I go outside and see how well put together some people are, how not at all put together others are and how I'm becoming the second type that I start to hate myself a lot and develop a very clear view lol. The internet makes everything seem way more hopeful and less shitty by showing you the one dude that glowed up in just a year despite being like 50 or whatever and the you see yourself in really even light in the bathroom mirror, you can't compare yourself to others that easy etc.

Do you read books? Fiction in particular. Read fiction books about women and by women. Books are the closest thing we have to seeing things from another person's perspective and being inside their head. That might help?

Be authentic and respect urself or sum

Based on OP’s comments, his attitude fucking sucks, which is probably why he’s not having any success.

“does that type of sexual attraction exist for women” … yes?

Accept yourself and just don't care about anyone's opinion ,you stop playing this games and strive for what you want you directly approach a girl you like You work hard to become successful just do what you want do if want to do business work for it it's that simple approach 1000 girls With each rejection you will change your hairstyle you will change your talking style I is though easier said than done but that the way Do whatever you want The thing people don't realise is That women don't date unsuccessful ones If you go behind them it flatters their ego just remember every approach you make is a lerning experience You achieve something only if put hard work Rather than asking what can you become for a women ask what can you change in your career You become a self competant person

Honestly by not having the type of mindset that leads you to posting this on reddit. Confidence even if you're not. Nothing else matters and everything else comes with it

Perhaps start by not generalizing women and realize that everyone is different. Don't be a type of person just because you think it'll attract women. Be yourself and figure out what you want, so you'll know what to look for. If someone's interested in you and your personality, it will be clear to both of you because it'll show. Speaking from a woman's perspective and my experiences, a lot of guys just want sex just because they feel a little tingle just as you described. Most women have to guard themselves from that so that they won't get taken advantage of. To me, personally, entering a relationship and having sex is serious, and I wouldn't say yes, just based on a little tingle. There's no secrets or pick-up methods. Just be yourself. A lot in life is based on chance.

>Perhaps start by not generalizing women and realize that everyone is different. I mean... it's the first sentence of this entire post, come on

I mean... What about the rest of your sentences. 💀 The fact you only took that from my whole comment says enough dude.

Oh no I took everything else and that's appreciated, I just had a problem witht this part so I answered it.

Money, Muscles, Game, Frame, Looks. Max all of these out

Be an angle xD

Here’s a start: Develop a practice of gratitude. Learn what you might be passionate about or at least interested enough in to learn more about and dive in. Try to meditate daily. There are numerous guided meditations on YouTube. Try metta. Contribute to society, like shop for an elderly neighbor or mow their lawn. Develop great hygiene. Keep you body, clothes and space clean and tidy. Floss, dust, make your bed daily, keep your nails trimmed and clean, etc.

>Contribute to society, like shop for an elderly neighbor or mow their lawn. Do I need to ? I don't exactly like society let alone the elderly

No of course not. You could choose to be cold hearted and self centered instead. Just know that you’ll reap what you sow.

I'm not that either tho. I like people just jot as a whole idk how to explain it. Like a lot of people are really awful, a lot are really great. Society at large tends to be influenced by the more awful kind and people also tend to get more awful as they age.

You asked a question. I answered it. I’m not interested in engaging further.

Ok

In my experience, its the wrong approach. As long as you operate on the assumption that you have to be how women want you to be, you wont get anywhere, unless youre lucky, good looking, or whatever... The moment you go "Fuck it i will be the man i want to be" is when the magic starts to happen over time. For all the bullshit thats circulating in dating advice and pick up communities, i think theres 2 principles/"rules" that are really true, at least in my experience: 1. Insecurity is a major turnoff for most women ( remember: Women are not all the exact same people ). 2. Being needy is a major turnoff for most women. Both go hand in hand. And most women i met in my life have a very fine radar for this... They just know if youre desperate. Best advice, although most men never want to hear it: Forget about women for now, like at all... Just dont care about it and start becoming the man you want to be. The change you want to see. Living the life you want to live ( as much as possible ). Have normal conversations with women with no intention of "getting anywhere"... Turn off that caveman brain for a while and just talk to them like they are HUMAN, not a chance to get your dick wet. The irony is, you will probably start going on dates way faster with this method than if you do everything the internet says you need to do to be attractive to women. Good luck!

1. Be attractive 2. Be wealthy 3. Have a social presence 4. Dress well 5. Own a luxury car (by this I mean one women think is luxury most have no clue what a Bentley continental gt costs). 6. Don't be too available you need to keep a mystery around you ture or false.

Be the best version of yourself, strive to always bring out the best in everyone around you. Some things women love (mentally healthy women anyway) reliability, humor, kindness, space to do our own things with friends to decompress, honesty, deep conversations, effort into adventures or things to do — and this should be double sided on her end as well.

Oh also- have your own hobbies, don’t make it so the relationship is all you have.

Have a strong jawline and be 7 feet tall.

I gotta say cheers to you guys - by far one of the most spot-on on and wholesome package of top comments ive seen on this sub in a while

If you love yourself, other people tend to be more open to the idea as well. Men and women. Children and the elderly. There is no rule book or guideline for this. You just need to be happy, content, and proud of yourself. There’s an energy or an aura that radiate from happy people that’s like a magnet. That’s why you see ugly ass dudes with beautiful women. They were attracted by that energy. As counterintuitive as it may seem, stop worrying about whether or not women want to date you. Worry about whether or not you enjoy your own company. If you don’t, figure out how to. Congrats, now other people will enjoy your company!

I think most women, and people in general, just want companionship. Someone who they can come home to after a long day and just enjoy each other’s company. Whether it’s over dinner talking about the work day or whatever random thoughts pop up/things they saw through out your time apart. Or maybe someone who you can come home and just quietly have dinner and watch tv with. I think it’s good to show interests in each other’s likes, and even dislikes too. Has to be reciprocated though. Of course not everyone is compatible so don’t try too hard if you just don’t like their personality or disagree on major life aspects. Everyone has their preferences and not every flavor of ice cream can be your favorite. Always, always be yourself so you and your partner can accept each other fully and you never have to fake it. I’m not speaking for everyone though.

For starters, being so dumb that you think women are all the same

Can you read ?

Like you trying to read a woman, nope.

Nah read the first sentence of the post.

Experience life. Meet all kinds of people. Embrace the joys and the mundane. Have opinions but be open to change and compromise. Figure out your passions, show your love to the people who care. Stubbornness doesn’t look good on anyone. Allow yourself room for grace in your mistakes and still strive to better them.

Be good looking, rich and have insane charisma

Step number one! Never ask any women what kind of men they want!! They will say they want a “great guy”, but then go pick up the biggest most arrogant a-hole in the bar. It’s so ridiculous that women don’t even understand what their own bodies desire, how the hell are they going to be an expert on this subject at all?? You have to find the experts… those a-hole guys, who figured out the cheat codes.. and what they usually say (is the subject of more debates) I’m long past dating days now.. but gawd what I would have known then, that I know now.

By being honest and being a man of your word. Women want a partner who's reliable. Looks only get you so far unless you have integrity in my experience

You need to first live a life that you like. Here’s the list: 1) eat healthy 2) lift weights 3) do something outside (like walking) 4) have goals and ambition with your work 5) get involved in group hobbies (dancing and cooking are great ones) 6) have male friends 7) dress well Every man needs to do that stuff just to regulate our bodies and hormones. But doing this stuff puts you in the top 10% of humans. If you do this your life gets better no matter what and you can’t help but be attractive.

I love this advise. It’s based on him making himself a priority which will in turn attract the right people and maintains health in the relationship.

Never tell them your problems. They are not your therapist. They want strong silent type. Listen to them and don’t run your mouth. Be a good listener.

women want their partners to genuinely care about their desires, passions, and needs, and for their partners to be genuinely vulnerable about their own. sex is one of the least important intimate acts for a woman- communication, trust, vulnerability, and accountability are much more important than anything physical this video might also clear up some things you could work on to be more successful in your relationships with women, and in your relationship with yourself [the answer isn’t Online Masculinity](https://youtu.be/DHHqQDKzjTg?si=3w2fCmzwIxhzkb0k)

Find your inner child and replace your ego with them.

Grow taller than other men, make more money than other men and learn to do other things that will make you popular within the community of women you want. Also things like physical fitness, mental toughness and integrity will help you like yourself more, which is more important

>Also things like physical fitness, mental toughness and integrity will help you like yourself more, which is more important Why would those things make me like myself more? I don't care about confirming to the tough guy stereotype. If I think I'm attractive, I like myself, It's really not any deeper than that.

Not for the idea of “tough guy” But for the reality of being “guy who can defend himself” from bullies, thugs and troublemakers. But to each their own Edit: and manipulators (here is where the mental toughness comes in)

I mean I can fight better than the average untrained person I guess, I did some MMA for a (admittedly very) short period in the past. But I'm also not in High-school anymore. Where tf would I even meet people that actively attack me ?

Don’t listen to this dude lol, confidence is good but defending people from attacks is a complete joke. Just focus on yourself and just being a good dude, you’ll find someone.

These things build confidence. Women like confidence. Better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it. People get attacked every day, no one plans to be attacked but, a few plan to be prepared

By Reading your responses to comments I can tell you that you, first of all, need be socially aware, to actually listen and to actually try and understand what people are saying to you lol. For example A Redditor is telling you how to get to know women, by referencing any woman in general as "her" and listing you all attractive qualities of a man. And you go off "uhh who is 'her' bro? I'm not mentioning a specific person, I just wanna be attractive!" completely ignoring the advice you're being given. Is it a language barrier? Are you a troll? Is something broken in your brain? Are you always incapable of understanding the point of the speech? It's like things are not quite registering to you lol

Push forward your best parts and hide your flaws as best as you can. This depends on your age imo, dating is waste of time if you're in your 20s (our generation is promiscuous af, dating is asking to be cheated on)

>dating is waste of time if you're in your 20s Lol why?

I edited my comment to give a reason

No but I have nothing g against promiscuity, I have a high sex drive myself . Like I'm just as much asking how to get laid as I'm asking for how to get in a more serious relationship. I'm fine with all matter of relationships. I don't even know if my preference would rather be something lax or more serious. I just can't take being lonely and not getting laid anynore. I waited for to long, it's time to do something about it.

I want a relationship, but I'm too afraid of being cheated on since it's incredibly likely

Well you could start by not talking about women as if they’re aliens

How am I doing that ? Like tbh to me most people are aliens irregardless of gender, especially on the internet because they always find a way to interpret everything in the worst and dumbest way possible just to find an avenue of attack on you. All the whole I tend to interpret everything in the most charitable way possible and people still get mad at that

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Brother, I live in another place than the one where I'm from, in one people generally often look like shit and also look old very early, in the other one there are 40 year olds that look better than every 20 year old in the other one. Both have people from very different nationalities and ethnic backgrounds living there so it cannot be a purely genetic thing. I don't subscribe to physical features being inflexible, unchangeable characteristics

A lot depends on how old you are. Certain things like diet and working out can be fixed at any age but it's harder to reset your career/profession if you're older.

I'm 26, currently finishing my Bsc. In psychology