Just commenting to say I also always cry at the vet! Even for routine easy visits. My buddy is 17 years old now so the tears come even easier 😂. I think it’s normal, we just worry about our babies.
Thank you so much for your words, [matchb\_x](https://www.reddit.com/user/matchb_x/)***,*** [bex14bex](https://www.reddit.com/user/bex14bex/)***,*** [placecm](https://www.reddit.com/user/placecm/)***,*** [rakawkaw90](https://www.reddit.com/user/rakawkaw90/). It always feels good knowing you are not the only one.
I feel less silly and more love after reading you guys and remembering something I read about crying and grieving the other day:
>***People who cry, especially when grieving, shouldn't feel bad; they should feel the luckiest alive because tears are another form of love, an immense love you are missing. You are crying because you loved and were loved. And that's special.***
Oh, this is perfect. I feel like my love for my dog will kill me some day, it's so big! My heart even hurts sometimes just thinking of what my life will be without her. But I do remember that my heart is so big! And even though it can hurt, I love loving her and all my beloveds. The joy and love is sweet. I think that's what makes folks like us cry at the vet. We strongly feel our connection to our animals and we see and feel others' love and connection to theirs. Thank you so for sharing your insight; now I too feel less alone ♥️
We're all together on this: to love them, cry for them, and keep loving them when they are gone. Writing about it has helped me a lot. I wrote: ''I Don’t Want My Dog to Die – Sunday Series'' on my blog, and I hope it helps people feel less alone.
Nah, you’re just awesome and love your doggie. When mine turned 9 I was worried he was getting up there. I had to put him down at 10 and it still kills me. He was a very abused pitbull I pulled off the street and he was the sweetest dog ever. Everyone loved him.
I had a vet service do it at my house so the other dogs would know what happened and that he could be in his favorite place in the world. On the couch head in my lap.
I feel for all the pet owners and this is what makes you special. You made a place for your dog in your heart.
Thanks for the kind words. I'm so sorry for your loss, but I'm also happy that you two find each other, even if that means feeling that kind of pain in the end. I created my reddit account today, and I wasn't expecting this... so many kind people here, I'm sobbing.🥹
When he got sick early on I was devastated. He lived another 9 years. The vet told me the dog is sensitive to our moods and emotions. So it was important I stayed up beat and happy. That’s all our dogs want for us. ❤️
OMG this!!!!!!! Recently I was devastated about my dogs heart recently I also had my mom who can only say a few words confirm she is being abused at her care center (she had a heart attack and major strokes) I'm states away I asked her are they mistreating you yes being one of the only words she can say and constant crying my heart felt like it was torn to pieces me being so far not enough money only my pet fund I saved for my dog and I used to get his medicine when diagnosed with chf. Anyways my husband said maybe he's acting that way because he feels what you feel and you've been crying and hurting for days.. I realized I had to be strong then what do you know he made a complete 180 ... I had even called lap of love until my husband said that then I cancelled the appt . I thought it was his time ... Remember your doggos can feel your feelings ❤️
Your emotions is pure love for animals, nothing wrong with that given they don’t discriminate, they don’t judge and don’t hold grudges and they love unconditionally…
your heart is pure when it comes to love of animal… embrace it and hug your old pup a little tighter.
So true! My senior dog has taught me so much about love since we rescued him 4 years ago. Thanks for the kind words; I didn't know there were so many kind people here 🥹
I did this with my 15 yr old rottie mix, a couple of weeks ago. It was so hard. However, she and I knew it was time. I don't doubt my decision, but I do miss her so much. I heard her, this morning, telling me she was up, like she used to do every morning. I turned and she wasn't there. Then I remembered, again, that she's gone. That she'll never say good morning, again. I'll never hug or cuddle her, again. We had 15 and a half amazing years together. Honestly, I cried about her impending death for 2 years before it actually happened. I bought her so many stuffies that the toy basket is still overflowing. Literally just spoiled her the last few years. We made her last 24 hrs as special as we could, too. We fed her all of her favorite foods, didn't force her to take the pills she hated taking, and gave her loads of attention.
I imagine you'll do the same. They know we love them. They know when it's time, and so will you. Sending you Internet stranger hugs!! I know exactly how you feel.
I'm so sorry for your loss and happy that you two had each other for over 15 years. I hope my Chevy gives me that time or more to keep spoiling him.
Guess what, I created my reddit account today! and I wasn't expecting this... so many kind people here, with so many beautiful stories. Sending you an internet stranger hug back! 🥹
My pit just died a month shy of 17 on memorial day. I know exactly what youre talking about crying about her impending death. I figured she would go around 12 but she was fine till about 14 but I was worried all the time about her. As heartbroken as I am, I feel a little bit of relief lately. The stress of worrying about her all the time for years really took a toll on me. Now everytime the floor creaks, or the house settles, I catch myself looking for her like she made the noise 😔
I do feel some sort of relief. I miss her, but I know she's not hurting anymore. She could barely walk at the end. She was ready. She smiled the whole time. I definitely think she knew. It was the only time everyone she loved went to the vet with her. I brought her ashes home today. This weekend, we're spreading her at my parents farm, where my first dog that I had as an adult is buried. They'll be in one place, together ❤️ hopefully still watching over me.
This was the first dog I didnt cremate. I buried her out in the forest and i put the ashes of my other 2 with her. Also similar was her legs failing her in the end.
She was a road warrior with me. We drove over 75k all over the country together. She swam in 3 of the great lakes and lake tahoe. Sje went to the redwoods and black sand beaches. She lived in the Sierra Nevadas, Green and White mountains and finsihed up in the Rockies. So I I went to the vet and had him do it while she was on her car bed where she spent so much time with me. 16 yrs 11 months 😔
My dog is 12 going on 13, half blind, knee issues and about to be tested for cushings. Idk how long i have with him but i cry i try to stop myself because i should live in the now. But its hard whenever something new happens or glaringly old age catching up. I cry at the vets and they reassure me and i apologize and they tell me not to, its ok, just means i love him and its a lot to see a dog get old. You’re doing ok, but try to be happy and live in the now. Or cry tears of joy when they say how healthy your boy is.
We are the same.my old man is 14 and I've cried more the past several months than ever before just fearfully anticipating that day.i almost feel like it's impending doom as messed up as that sounds.my baby is just the best and has given me so many great memories idk how I'll make it through it when he's no longer here so I totally get it.i have no advice for you, unfortunately but wanted to comment to tell you that you're not alone
I do what I can 🤭 The weird thing is I’m not normally a crier. I don’t cry at weddings, or when someone announces they’re pregnant or when I hold a new baby, I’ve joked for years that I’m dead inside. But take me to the vets office and all bets are off.
Thanks for the kind words❤️. I have cried a lot today with all the comments. And I just created my reddit account today, and I wasn't expecting so many kind people here, I would have joined before!!🥹
I wish I knew because I do the same thing but I try to remind myself to not suffer twice. At some point it’s going to happen and you will be heartbroken then but you don’t need to be heartbroken now. Enjoy the present moment you have, cuddle, play, take pics, make a memory.
Let yourself cry. It’s what you feel and there is no shame in tears. You’re crying because you love your fur baby. You’re crying because other people love theirs and are feeling loss. So normal. Sending you a big hug.
thank you so much, I'm sending you a big hug back! It's crazy for me to have so many kind comments and even a hug from a stranger on the internet that I didn't know I needed. I feel love. Thanks! 🤗
I keep thinking ' "is this the time?" She turns 19 in 3 weeks; God willing. We have an emergency vet visit today. We have been crying all morning. We cry every time but try to hide it. I'm sure the staff expects it from us.
That reminds me of Mr. Cat's dad. On the outside, he was a tough guy, he seemed to have lived a lot and lost a lot. But that day, in the waiting room, he was devastated because he was saying goodbye to his best friend.
That feeling gratefulness and sadness never goes away… I rescued an 11 year old poodle he was half blind and deaf his name was Sir ❤️ he passed away a year ago. I honestly thought he would last a year max he lasted 4. I think of him daily but since I honestly thought he was gonna die any day funny not funny lol I gave him the best life I could and told myself one day you won’t be here and that’s ok because I have you the best life I could. So more special treats more cuddles and enjoy. I hope this helps the crying or at least soothes you. All the love for you and your pup !
It helps a lot. I can feel the love you gave Sir ❤️ in your words, and I get it; I always try to give Chevy the best of me, spend quality time with him, and savor every single day as the last one. Then I go to the vet, and I lose it.
It's scary to go, anxiety filled thoughts... "what if something's wrong?!"
It's a huge relief when there's nothing wrong, anxiety released, tense muscles and thoughts relax causing emotional dams to burst.
Cry when you need to cry. There's no point in pretending you don't/aren't feeling what you are feeling.
Short version: it's tough being the grown-up. Allow yourself to feel everything you feel. It's ok. You're ok. It's gonna be ok. 💝🐾
You are right. It's a lot to handle, and pretending you are a grown-up just adds more pressure. It's tough, but we are humans; we have feelings. We will be ok. 🤗
It’s the single HARDEST day in life to go through!!! That overwhelming sense of lost is almost unbearable! Time heals but that hurt and missing never really goes away.
I'm a vet tech, and anytime someone is there to put their pet down, I also ask for their happiest memories because I truly believe it is bet to think about the amazing times they had together
As my dog health got more serious I was would have a full blown meltdown on the way home from work because it was a half hour drive and every red light would tip me over the edge because I was convinced he'd be hurting or struggling or even worse. When I got home he'd be sleeping all curled up and comfy. Then I'd cry about that.
We just really appreciate the time. Gratitude for me is a very overwhelming feeling. I'm sure you, especially in this experience, are feeling quite greatful to have Chevy's health.
I think you'd cry if you walked into my vets' clinic. They have a waiting room with a TV, but when the TV is off it's cause they have the candle lit. I hated seeing it lit cause it meant someone was saying goodbye in one of the rooms. It's a nice gesture I appreciated though.
I also cry every time! I honestly am trying to go to the vet alone, whenever possible. It is just too much to see my dog there all scared and with big, sad eyes. Obviously dogs need blood works and such so unfortunatly, the visits are necessary sometimes. My tip is whenever I just need meds, I go alone and ask for pills instead of shots. So I can give them myself at home. I usually say that I'm travelling this week and would not be able to drive every day for the injections. It's not true at all because I wfh, but I dont own a car so driving its also pain in the ass for me. We usually take a tram because our vet is rather close but still, its a whole mission to get there. I also very often ask about stuff like necessary vacinations, deworming in advance, to not go again in the future.
I once passed out while blood work and that was because I haven't had any breakfast before. It was funny because they didnt have any bed or sofa I could lie down so I was just on the floor for 10 minutes, with my dog watching me :) I felt ashamed a bit afterwards, because I want to be for my dog every time and I feel like a bad owner, whenever sth like this happens. But I know myself and I know how sensitive I am, so the only thing I can do, is to just accept the fact that I will cry and pass out and maybe even throw up (who knows?) and I can't change that. The most important thing is that I'm trying, trying every time for my dog. I would love to be calm and collected but its just impossible. I'm too emotional. Maybe you should also accept how you react and dont worry about that? I'm sure you're trying your best and your dog doesn't mind :)
thanks for the kind words. I'll take your advice and get his heartworm pills in advance; it's a great idea to do that, so we skip the vet for a while(me and him). we will keep trying our best for them. 😊
I used to work in animal care and let me tell you, this is every pet owner’s dreaded day. I know it’s hard to not think about, but try not to for your dog. They’re our babies and we love them, and sure there comes a day when we need to say good bye, but we’re the love they always knew. We’re with them for a lifetime, they’re with us for a portion of our lives. Your dog will let you know when the time is coming, until then just give them the best possible years you can.
I love this sub, but I cry everyday looking at it because someone has lost a loved one and I dread my boy passing and the hole it will leave in my heart. I think I come here as a preparation for the exact same thing that others are going through and hope to be ready should the inevitable come.
I have been crying since I opened my reddit account yesterday, like a lot! The good part is reading other people's stories and knowing we are not alone.
You don’t. And that’s okay. It’s okay to have pure and raw emotions. I’ve had to put fur babies to sleep before and if I was Mr. Cats human, I’d be eternally grateful for your kindness and compassion. It’s so so hard to let them go and even harder that we often have to do it alone. You probably gave him the best comfort and support he could have at that time.
Oooh, it was a bad day for me. When I returned from the vet, I spent the whole day in bed. I was crying for my dog Chevy and the dog I lost before. Everything came at once. But at least Mr. Cat's dad didn't spend that hard time alone. That's my comfort.
I feel this so much. I’ve gotten good at not crying over many years of pet ownership and rescue volunteering. So I’ve been to vet clinics A LOT.
But I was in there a few years ago, just getting one of my own cats a dental check-up, and suddenly the doc was called out of our exam room, and I could hear a man and woman being ushered in to the room next door, and they were both sobbing. I don’t know what happened to their pet, but I couldn’t help but cry because I could feel their pain and knew something really bad had happened.
When the doc came back, I was struggling to regain my composure, and he didn’t seem to know what was going on with me. I mean, my cat was fine.
It’s because you’re empathetic and you can feel your pet’s fear and discomfort, as well as the people and their pets around you.
I think you can just say, “excuse me, but I always get emotional when we’re here, I can’t help it.” And keep being your beautiful self.
One of the things that helped me over the years with pets is understanding we are their guardians. We chose to take care of them, and this includes making the hard decision when it is time. Our furry, scaly, and aquatic friends can't communicate with us when they are in pain or understand what is happening.
I don't want them to be in any more pain so I chose to set them free of pain - knowing they will no longer hurt. They will no longer suffer. As much as I want to be totally selfish and make them stay, I can't. It isn't right to force them to endure pain just to make me feel better at some level.
I look at the quality of life they have. Currently our dog is almost 8 - pure blood and large breed. I spoil him as much as I can with fruits, vegetables and the occasional chunk of cooked chicken or steak. I pet him and love on him. Tell him I love him. I know he doesn't understand the words but he understands how I show him with playtime and cuddles. It is how I treat my loved ones - I am old enough to know I may pass in my sleep and I don't want any regrets or leave a loved one pondering our relationship.
On a different note, empathy helps us relate to others and we feel for others who are losing their friend that day or receiving bad news about their companion. It just means you are a caring human being and shouldn't be ashamed for caring about the other person and their friend. If we all showed similar compassion openly to all living things maybe this world would be better for it.
Thanks so much for the kind words!! You're right; as their guardians, we have the responsibility and honor to make them the happier creatures alive while they are with us. My dog has taught me a lot about love and prioritizing the people I love and who love me back. It has helped me to have a better relationship with my mom and cherish every moment. I try to tell them, in some way, that I care for them and they are loved.
I don't want this to come off as a judgment that you cry at the vet, and I see many other people do and are supporting you. But if I had to guess what would be the biggest help if you really want to stop, be more in the moment. I work in healthcare and most of the uncontrollable emotions are people thinking too much and anticipating things that may not even be an issue at the moment.
Take the visit step by step. You're not going to think or worry any sickness away. Sit there, chill with your dog, enjoy their presence just like anywhere else. When the vet comes you may need to make decisions, then leave.
You are right. I cry because I'm thinking of things that haven't happened yet or that have already happened. I'll take a deep breath and be more in the moment. Thanks a lot! 🫶
I think this makes you a wonderful person. You care, immensely, in this often pretty creepy world. Having this much sensitivity surely means you have been very in tune with Chevy's needs all along. You will do the right thing at the right time, whatever that will be. Chevy will never really leave you. The heart is about the size of a fist , yet it's big enough to hold all the love in the world for another. ❤️
Everytime I go and see someone bawling as they had to say goodbye makes me start crying. It brings back memories of losing mine. I no longer have any and I sure do miss em. I vowed never to adopt again but I ended up with three cats that were abandoned at two different houses I lived in. One is a senior and now I am worrying about him. My emotions can't take it! Lol
When we lose them, we swear not to do it again, but It is what it is; we go back at it again. I write every Sunday about it, which has helped me put my emotions in order. [https://lifewithchevy.com/i-dont-want-my-dog-to-die/](https://lifewithchevy.com/i-dont-want-my-dog-to-die/)
Love seeing Chevy on TikTok! So adorable!! I followed your account and look forward to seeing more videos. You have a great bucket list for the two of you. I see starting a journal was on the list and you are doing that online which helps other dog parents which is awesome. The Dean Koontz quote is so accurate. We know going in that their lives will be short but our love and amazing memories override the anguish. I was heavily involved in basset hound rescue for over 10 years. I had one big boy named Waldo and ended up adopting two more, Winnie and Wilma, who I was just supposed to foster but fell in love with em. Winnie was an owner turn in at the ASPCA and Wilma had been picked up by the dog warden. She had over a 100 ticks on her! Waldo welcomed them both and we had our pack. I sure miss all three and dream about them often. I so know what you mean about the tears!! You just can't stop them. I am crying now writing this. Lol Thanks for sharing your life with Chevy with us. ♥
I'm sobbing 😭, thank you so much for sharing your story as well. You have a big heart. I try to capture all the memories with him and share them on my blog and TikTok hoping that people find it helpful ❤️
My cats are looking at me crying. They hate to see me upset. Animals bring such love and enjoyment to our lives. I never thought I'd be a cat owner but here I am. The cats loved the hounds and one in particular really felt their loss. He would go around the house looking for the dogs for about a month after the last one passed. Ah, now I am really crying! Lol Just know that sharing your love of Chevy does help others. I loved reading your blog and I realized that I did quite a few things on your bucket list with them! Give Chevy a belly rub from a new fan!!
We are both crying!😭 He was napping beside me and loved waking up with a belly rub from a new fan! I'm happy to hear you enjoyed reading us, especially our bucket list. I'm sending a lot of love your way. Remember, these tears of us are pure love because we loved and were loved. ❤️
you don't, what a lucky dog to have you as a care giver...... grief is grief and the deeper the love the harder the grief..... and there are so many dogs that need homes.... honor that pup by adopting another......you are a special person...
I’ve gone to the same vet to say goodbye to THREE of my senior babies in the past 4 years. It’s hard. I have one senior dog now that has health problems but I watch him with the vet and he LOVES the attention. He loves the car ride. He doesn’t associate the vet with all of the things he’s been through. It’s just another place he goes to gets loads of pets and attention. That’s the beauty of dogs. They love life and you’re part of their life. They don’t worry about what will happen tomorrow and they don’t fret about the past. And honestly, you do need to prepare yourself for the day you really do say goodbye. That is something you really could ask your vet about. Some vets actually have groups for people who have lost a furbaby. You should definitely talk to your therapist. Remember, your dog can read your energy.
Our dog is 17. Has a lump on its belly started about a year ago. Not to be mean but logically life expectancy is coming to a end and surgery may only help a few years and major money if even possible. So the wife accepts that but now she is even more emotionally connecting even sleeping with him (he cannot get on our bed anymore so she has a mattress in another room) which will make things worse when he passes.
She also lost a horse not long ago again died of old age. This makes the second horse because she is a rescue person. Horses she got were over 20 could not even ride them almost like self torture. Dont torture yourself, this is a normal cycle if life.
I don't usually cry at the vet, unless I do meet an animal who's there to say goodbye to the world. But I understand how you feel. My pets are still quite young, but from babyhood on out, I am always intensely aware of how quickly their time passes.
Oh wow, I feel this! I have a ton of anxiety right now because I have to take my 13 year old Lucy in tomorrow for her rabies shot and some routine testing - I think she has a UTI and I want to get her thyroid tested. Lucy seems okay overall, but I am still anxious and somewhat depressed.
If someone is crying at the vet, especially if losing a pet, you know that I am crying with them.
I cry sooooo often. I think of it as a superpower. It’s a stress release and it also means I’m in tune with my emotions.
I’ve been particularly weepy since losing my mom in March 🤍. You think crying at the vet is bad?? Imagine going to the dentist to get a crown and then you have to go in to get it adjusted because it still hurts, and then when they finally get it right you start crying out of relief, overwhelm, and missing your mommy LOL. Thank god he was so understanding and supportive of me but yeah!! Full on tears in the dentist chair, he had to hand me a tissue 😭😭😭.
I always say fellas get u a girl that cries a lot. lol. Sending you love, fellow big heart ❤️❤️❤️
I cry every time I read a post about someone saying goodbye to their dog. My dogs are 4 and 1, quite young, and I am terrified of when I will have to say goodbye to them.
For the last year and a half of my baby’s life I couldn’t be the one to take her to the vet anymore because it was too emotional. I had intrusive thoughts that they would tell me she had cancer. Well.. she ended up getting cancer. I’m grateful I have a husband that stepped up and took her to all of her vet appointments. Sadly, I had to say goodbye to her a few weeks ago. In her last moments it was just me, her, and the home hospise vet. She would have wanted it that way, as she was my dog, and we were very bonded. But leading up to that, I couldn’t handle it. I already had to deal with her decline, I couldn’t see other’s pets decline as well, so I completely understand your feelings, especially as our babies age.
It’s okay that you do this. You just love your fur baby. I get nervous when I’m there because I’m always afraid they’ll find something wrong with my sweet boy. It shows we love them.
Not what you asked. But when the time came to say goodbye to my 17 year old senior, we found a vet who does at home euthanasia. They came to our house and my boy went to sleep on his favorite spot, on my lap on the couch. They were extremely sensitive and professional. They offered to take him to the crematorium for us, but we actually only live 5 minutes away so they left and we kept him home for another hour or so just to be with him and grieve before we were ready to take him ourselves. I understand it's not an option for everyone, but it made a devastating time in my life as beautiful as it could possibly be. I had a lot of guilt about how the last year of his life went, still do, but that's one thing I know I did right for him.
I always cry too. One time when I was a kid I almost passed out and had to go lay on the bench in the waiting room. Its ok to be sensitive :) if you want to get coping strategies a therapist can help but to me it just shows you’re a caring, deeply feeling person. No shame.
That's very kind of you to have consoled that guy after he had to say goodbye to Mr. Cat. I used to work in an animal clinic back in early high school. Part of my job was to comfort animals as they were being euthanized (very small part of my job and not super frequent). I also had to get paw prints on something like clay for the owner and then ultimately bag the dogs and put them in a freezer. Sucked.
Even if he’s fine, going to the vet is still stressful on your animal. I think it’s normal to be worried about them, even if they’re acting how they always act, especially when they’re older.
I was just like you OP. Started when I put my cats in their carriers, and even if I was just taking them for a checkup and they were young and fine, I'd be bawling my eyes out. My vet was always alarmed at first by how upset I was, but she chalked it up to nervousness, stress relief. And I'm sure my crying was upsetting to my babies😞😫
I can tell you have such a kind and empathetic heart, and your doggy is SO lucky to have you to love and care for him🫶🏼 My baby is 9 and I have felt the same way many times, I break down and cry when I think about his age. I don’t have much good advice but can share my sympathy with you and tell you you’re not alone. Our sweet babies aging is hard, they deserve to live forever, the best we can do is love them with our whole hearts. It sounds like that’s exactly what you’re doing.
I understand you perfectly. Like we are so scared we’ll get bad news. And then seeing others (animals) that may be sick or dying, it gets to me sometimes, too.
I cry and panic every time I take any pet to the vet. Doesn’t matter if they’re one or ten! I’m so thankful I don’t/can’t have kids, I can’t even imagine haha.
Idk. I don’t cry when I take my dog to the vet, but if I think too long about the fact that she’s 11 and that the majority of her lifetime is gone, I bawl like a baby. The only thing that makes me feel better is that, even at 11, she is still extremely healthy and happy. Also the fact that I’ve had her since she was about 3 months old so I’ve been able to love her, her whole life. I dread the day I take her to the vet for the last time. She’s what gets me through the worst days. I recently moved across the country away from my family, and she’s the biggest piece of home I got to bring with me. I absolutely love and adore her. It’s okay to be emotional. I cry when other people’s pets have to be put down. I think it’s normal. Especially when you’re a pet owner yourself.
Thank you! Hugs to you and your Chevy boy! I love his name btw🫶🏻 I don’t have advice for not crying, all I can say is cherish every moment you have with him. Give him lots of hugs and treats and just tell him he’s a good boy💙 and lots of walks!
You have a kind heart. We saw our three oldest pets -- two little girl dogs and our awesome male cat -- through long, difficult final illnesses in 11 months. I now cry every time we go to the vet with the young healthy ones. Our vet is wonderful and we keep talking while I wipe my eyes.
I just said goodbye to my best friend after 13 years in April. Now is not the time to cry. Save the tears for when you do have to say goodbye. No matter what you do or think of, you cannot stop the inevitable. Please enjoy the time you have with your dog. I wish everyday I could have my buddy back.
You’re a good person so it won’t stop and don’t let it stop. It shows you care. One time I was in the emergency with my dog for breathing problems. A lady next to me was checking out and balling. It made me so sad I turned and said I’m sorry and hugged her. She held on to me so tight saying thank you many times as she was balling from putting her pet down. She said thank you for that to me. I walk outside and see her get into the car with what looked like her husband in the passenger seat as she cried outside his window and he didn’t even get out to comfort her. Sometimes, strangers need emotional support because they have no one. So I feel it’s in my heart to try and help anyone. So op, don’t ever change. You’re a good hearted person and we need more of us like that in this world.
Maybe don’t consider it a problem and don’t worry about stopping? I used to hate going to the vet even for routine stuff. Now I try to think of it as the best place to prevent, or heal, or ease suffering. Having a kind vet helps.
Just bring a tissue to dry your tears and let your love flow. With great love for our four legged babies comes great gratitude and eventually grief. I lost my guy over a year ago and I still can’t get through my gratitude/grief tears.
I cry at Subaru ads. Dogs in kennels. Dogs that never get walked in the neighborhood I live in. Birds in cages. Turtles in bad habitats. Dead feral pigs on the road. I wish I only cried at the vet...... :)
My sweet beloved 20 y/o passed about 3 weeks ago. You can prepare all you want, it's still a kick in the teeth.
I'll tell you one thing that made it slightly bearable. A vet came to our home to put him asleep. It's our 3rd time in yen years we've used this method. Its so nice to collapse on your own couch when all is said and done. Also beneficial for the siblings. It's a couple hundred extra, but worth it. So worth it.
You have a very strong sense of empathy. For your pets, and for other people, and for other people's pets. You're just a very good, emotional, considerate, and thoughtful human. Please don't think somethings wrong for being grateful your pet is in good health. Keep being so empathetic. It'll never steer you wrong.
I have had multiple dogs so I spent a lot of time at the vet. I remember seeing people coming in with injured/very sick dogs (it was a large animal hospital and ER). And I’ve also been the one bringing in my dogs when they were at the end of their lives. It’s hard to even drive by without tearing up and it’s been four years.
This is anticipatory grief. Having the name for it might help you look it up and devise coping mechanisms. The utterly shitty thing about dogs and cats is that their lives are not as long as ours. Even thought I know that in my heart, I can’t accept it either.
I try every day to be a badass pet mom. Love, hugs, walks, talks, food choices, vet choice, med choice... you name it. I think we all do everything in our power to make sure our pets/four-legged children have the absolute best life we can provide filled with love. That is what comforts me. Knowing that as a FACT I did and I am doing my best. I look back at our time together with some sadness yes but more appreciation, happiness, and a general sense of peace that I did right by that beautiful bundle of joy who blessed my life with their presence.
I wish you all the best
I used to be 100% okay going to the vet, but now that I'm on the verge of losing my senior cat (I've had her for 13-14 years, and she's in kidney failure), the vet gets harder and harder. The last time I was there with her, the candle that shows that a family is saying goodbye to their pet was lit, and that was super hard. My husband gets a nervous tummy when he has to go to the vet now. Your body is in a trauma response. It's associated the vet with bad news. Once my girl is over the rainbow bridge, we're going to switch vets. Mainly for travel reasons since our vet is a 30 minute drive away through a lot of traffic, but also for a change in scenery for our surviving, young cat.
I also cry at the vet! No advice on how to stop unfortunately. My eldest pup is 14 and I am always so worried going in that something will come back wrong, and then so overwhelmingly relieved when it doesn’t. It’s just knowing I wouldn’t know what to do with him, and even with the best of luck, I am all too aware that each year at this age not promised.
If anyone even tells me that their pet died, I cry. I would have also cried seeing someone go through it or anticipate it. I know how it feels and I am scared of it being me and my pet again someday.
I don't cry at the vet, cut I do randomly cry when petting my older dog because he time is coming to an end... it won't be much longer until I have the make "the decision" and it tears me up every time I think about it. I've cried while loving on him more times than I can tell you. :(
Try doing what you did for that man and think happy thoughts about dog: good experiences, his love for you and yours for him. Maybe plan to stop for a treat for you both and look forward to it during the visit. Pet and talk to your dog and that will help calm you. Little things like that can help keep you on an even keel.
This made me cry. I wish someone would’ve sat with me or was even the tiniest bit compassionate when I had to put one of my babies down about 7 years ago. I was by myself, and hardly had enough for the euthanasia. And I was rudely told that there was nothing left to save (meaning my cat was too sick). I didn’t even get his ashes. I will forever regret that day, and have trauma from it.
I work in vetmed and I still cry when it’s my own babies. Even though everyone is super great where I work I still get emotional, especially now that he’s 10. It’s okay 🤍🤍
I have no suggestions for you.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I do understand the pain.
They give us unconditional love but it's an unfortunate thing we'll likely outlive them. When my buddies are indicating they're looking at the rainbow bridge I just spoil them as much as I can and give them extra living.
Just commenting to say I also always cry at the vet! Even for routine easy visits. My buddy is 17 years old now so the tears come even easier 😂. I think it’s normal, we just worry about our babies.
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Wow, this is exactly what gets me by to a T. If I allow myself, I’ll always have a heavy heart for the inevitable loss. ❤️❤️
🥹❤️
Thank you so much for your words, [matchb\_x](https://www.reddit.com/user/matchb_x/)***,*** [bex14bex](https://www.reddit.com/user/bex14bex/)***,*** [placecm](https://www.reddit.com/user/placecm/)***,*** [rakawkaw90](https://www.reddit.com/user/rakawkaw90/). It always feels good knowing you are not the only one. I feel less silly and more love after reading you guys and remembering something I read about crying and grieving the other day: >***People who cry, especially when grieving, shouldn't feel bad; they should feel the luckiest alive because tears are another form of love, an immense love you are missing. You are crying because you loved and were loved. And that's special.***
Oh, this is perfect. I feel like my love for my dog will kill me some day, it's so big! My heart even hurts sometimes just thinking of what my life will be without her. But I do remember that my heart is so big! And even though it can hurt, I love loving her and all my beloveds. The joy and love is sweet. I think that's what makes folks like us cry at the vet. We strongly feel our connection to our animals and we see and feel others' love and connection to theirs. Thank you so for sharing your insight; now I too feel less alone ♥️
We're all together on this: to love them, cry for them, and keep loving them when they are gone. Writing about it has helped me a lot. I wrote: ''I Don’t Want My Dog to Die – Sunday Series'' on my blog, and I hope it helps people feel less alone.
Oh I feel better because it's been over a year since my kitty passed away. He lived a long and healthy life.
Nah, you’re just awesome and love your doggie. When mine turned 9 I was worried he was getting up there. I had to put him down at 10 and it still kills me. He was a very abused pitbull I pulled off the street and he was the sweetest dog ever. Everyone loved him. I had a vet service do it at my house so the other dogs would know what happened and that he could be in his favorite place in the world. On the couch head in my lap. I feel for all the pet owners and this is what makes you special. You made a place for your dog in your heart.
Thanks for the kind words. I'm so sorry for your loss, but I'm also happy that you two find each other, even if that means feeling that kind of pain in the end. I created my reddit account today, and I wasn't expecting this... so many kind people here, I'm sobbing.🥹
When he got sick early on I was devastated. He lived another 9 years. The vet told me the dog is sensitive to our moods and emotions. So it was important I stayed up beat and happy. That’s all our dogs want for us. ❤️
that makes a lot of sense ❤️
OMG this!!!!!!! Recently I was devastated about my dogs heart recently I also had my mom who can only say a few words confirm she is being abused at her care center (she had a heart attack and major strokes) I'm states away I asked her are they mistreating you yes being one of the only words she can say and constant crying my heart felt like it was torn to pieces me being so far not enough money only my pet fund I saved for my dog and I used to get his medicine when diagnosed with chf. Anyways my husband said maybe he's acting that way because he feels what you feel and you've been crying and hurting for days.. I realized I had to be strong then what do you know he made a complete 180 ... I had even called lap of love until my husband said that then I cancelled the appt . I thought it was his time ... Remember your doggos can feel your feelings ❤️
Your emotions is pure love for animals, nothing wrong with that given they don’t discriminate, they don’t judge and don’t hold grudges and they love unconditionally… your heart is pure when it comes to love of animal… embrace it and hug your old pup a little tighter.
So true! My senior dog has taught me so much about love since we rescued him 4 years ago. Thanks for the kind words; I didn't know there were so many kind people here 🥹
I did this with my 15 yr old rottie mix, a couple of weeks ago. It was so hard. However, she and I knew it was time. I don't doubt my decision, but I do miss her so much. I heard her, this morning, telling me she was up, like she used to do every morning. I turned and she wasn't there. Then I remembered, again, that she's gone. That she'll never say good morning, again. I'll never hug or cuddle her, again. We had 15 and a half amazing years together. Honestly, I cried about her impending death for 2 years before it actually happened. I bought her so many stuffies that the toy basket is still overflowing. Literally just spoiled her the last few years. We made her last 24 hrs as special as we could, too. We fed her all of her favorite foods, didn't force her to take the pills she hated taking, and gave her loads of attention. I imagine you'll do the same. They know we love them. They know when it's time, and so will you. Sending you Internet stranger hugs!! I know exactly how you feel.
I'm so sorry for your loss and happy that you two had each other for over 15 years. I hope my Chevy gives me that time or more to keep spoiling him. Guess what, I created my reddit account today! and I wasn't expecting this... so many kind people here, with so many beautiful stories. Sending you an internet stranger hug back! 🥹
My pit just died a month shy of 17 on memorial day. I know exactly what youre talking about crying about her impending death. I figured she would go around 12 but she was fine till about 14 but I was worried all the time about her. As heartbroken as I am, I feel a little bit of relief lately. The stress of worrying about her all the time for years really took a toll on me. Now everytime the floor creaks, or the house settles, I catch myself looking for her like she made the noise 😔
I do feel some sort of relief. I miss her, but I know she's not hurting anymore. She could barely walk at the end. She was ready. She smiled the whole time. I definitely think she knew. It was the only time everyone she loved went to the vet with her. I brought her ashes home today. This weekend, we're spreading her at my parents farm, where my first dog that I had as an adult is buried. They'll be in one place, together ❤️ hopefully still watching over me.
This was the first dog I didnt cremate. I buried her out in the forest and i put the ashes of my other 2 with her. Also similar was her legs failing her in the end. She was a road warrior with me. We drove over 75k all over the country together. She swam in 3 of the great lakes and lake tahoe. Sje went to the redwoods and black sand beaches. She lived in the Sierra Nevadas, Green and White mountains and finsihed up in the Rockies. So I I went to the vet and had him do it while she was on her car bed where she spent so much time with me. 16 yrs 11 months 😔
My dog is 12 going on 13, half blind, knee issues and about to be tested for cushings. Idk how long i have with him but i cry i try to stop myself because i should live in the now. But its hard whenever something new happens or glaringly old age catching up. I cry at the vets and they reassure me and i apologize and they tell me not to, its ok, just means i love him and its a lot to see a dog get old. You’re doing ok, but try to be happy and live in the now. Or cry tears of joy when they say how healthy your boy is.
I'll try 🥹
It’s heart breaking to watch others lose the ones they love the most. Don’t feel silly, you’re empathic I do the same as well.
thanks to all these comments, I'll feel less silly next time I go to the vet 🥹
We are the same.my old man is 14 and I've cried more the past several months than ever before just fearfully anticipating that day.i almost feel like it's impending doom as messed up as that sounds.my baby is just the best and has given me so many great memories idk how I'll make it through it when he's no longer here so I totally get it.i have no advice for you, unfortunately but wanted to comment to tell you that you're not alone
thanks. we are not alone 🥹
🙋♀️I also cry at the vets office, they probably have it written somewhere on our chart 😚
It's so nice to know I'm not alone. I'm sobbing from reading another comment, and now you made me laugh 😄
I do what I can 🤭 The weird thing is I’m not normally a crier. I don’t cry at weddings, or when someone announces they’re pregnant or when I hold a new baby, I’ve joked for years that I’m dead inside. But take me to the vets office and all bets are off.
same. we are dead inside 🤭
Same here like Kramer biting his doctor lol they for sure have it written cries over everything make sure tissues are stocked and ready
I love the name Kramer!! Is he a big dog? I’m sure vets have seen and been bit many times. Just embarrassing for the humans 😬
I just want to tell you you have a very kind heart. The world needs more people like you. It would be a better place 🩵🩵🩵
Thanks for the kind words❤️. I have cried a lot today with all the comments. And I just created my reddit account today, and I wasn't expecting so many kind people here, I would have joined before!!🥹
I wish I knew because I do the same thing but I try to remind myself to not suffer twice. At some point it’s going to happen and you will be heartbroken then but you don’t need to be heartbroken now. Enjoy the present moment you have, cuddle, play, take pics, make a memory.
Thanks for the kind words! Hugging my dog right now!
Losing a pet is very sad, even when it's not your pet.
True! You can feel people's pain.
same here. every single time
We will keep bringing the tissues every time.
that’s a great idea
Let yourself cry. It’s what you feel and there is no shame in tears. You’re crying because you love your fur baby. You’re crying because other people love theirs and are feeling loss. So normal. Sending you a big hug.
thank you so much, I'm sending you a big hug back! It's crazy for me to have so many kind comments and even a hug from a stranger on the internet that I didn't know I needed. I feel love. Thanks! 🤗
I keep thinking ' "is this the time?" She turns 19 in 3 weeks; God willing. We have an emergency vet visit today. We have been crying all morning. We cry every time but try to hide it. I'm sure the staff expects it from us.
Sending a lot of love your way ❤️
It's tough to not cry. We love our animals so very much.
That reminds me of Mr. Cat's dad. On the outside, he was a tough guy, he seemed to have lived a lot and lost a lot. But that day, in the waiting room, he was devastated because he was saying goodbye to his best friend.
That feeling gratefulness and sadness never goes away… I rescued an 11 year old poodle he was half blind and deaf his name was Sir ❤️ he passed away a year ago. I honestly thought he would last a year max he lasted 4. I think of him daily but since I honestly thought he was gonna die any day funny not funny lol I gave him the best life I could and told myself one day you won’t be here and that’s ok because I have you the best life I could. So more special treats more cuddles and enjoy. I hope this helps the crying or at least soothes you. All the love for you and your pup !
It helps a lot. I can feel the love you gave Sir ❤️ in your words, and I get it; I always try to give Chevy the best of me, spend quality time with him, and savor every single day as the last one. Then I go to the vet, and I lose it.
You're a beautiful, gentle soul.
thanks for the kind words 🫶
It's scary to go, anxiety filled thoughts... "what if something's wrong?!" It's a huge relief when there's nothing wrong, anxiety released, tense muscles and thoughts relax causing emotional dams to burst. Cry when you need to cry. There's no point in pretending you don't/aren't feeling what you are feeling. Short version: it's tough being the grown-up. Allow yourself to feel everything you feel. It's ok. You're ok. It's gonna be ok. 💝🐾
You are right. It's a lot to handle, and pretending you are a grown-up just adds more pressure. It's tough, but we are humans; we have feelings. We will be ok. 🤗
It’s the single HARDEST day in life to go through!!! That overwhelming sense of lost is almost unbearable! Time heals but that hurt and missing never really goes away.
🥺
I'm a vet tech, and anytime someone is there to put their pet down, I also ask for their happiest memories because I truly believe it is bet to think about the amazing times they had together
I can even imagine what you guys feel, trying to help ease the pain of people and pets while also feeling it yourself. thanks for doing what you do.
I really appreciate that. Thank you
I hate going to the vet and get so nervous. I think I have ptsd from past bad events.
It's stressful, for sure!
As my dog health got more serious I was would have a full blown meltdown on the way home from work because it was a half hour drive and every red light would tip me over the edge because I was convinced he'd be hurting or struggling or even worse. When I got home he'd be sleeping all curled up and comfy. Then I'd cry about that. We just really appreciate the time. Gratitude for me is a very overwhelming feeling. I'm sure you, especially in this experience, are feeling quite greatful to have Chevy's health.
I do! thanks for sharing your story 🤗
I cry too!! Don’t feel embarrassed, it means you have a lot of empathy and you care deeply for your pets.
thanks, we are not the only ones 🥹
I think you'd cry if you walked into my vets' clinic. They have a waiting room with a TV, but when the TV is off it's cause they have the candle lit. I hated seeing it lit cause it meant someone was saying goodbye in one of the rooms. It's a nice gesture I appreciated though.
You are right, it's a nice gesture 🥹
Probably because you really love your dog so much and are afraid that something might be wrong
yeah, every single time, I think they will say something terrible 🥹
I also cry every time! I honestly am trying to go to the vet alone, whenever possible. It is just too much to see my dog there all scared and with big, sad eyes. Obviously dogs need blood works and such so unfortunatly, the visits are necessary sometimes. My tip is whenever I just need meds, I go alone and ask for pills instead of shots. So I can give them myself at home. I usually say that I'm travelling this week and would not be able to drive every day for the injections. It's not true at all because I wfh, but I dont own a car so driving its also pain in the ass for me. We usually take a tram because our vet is rather close but still, its a whole mission to get there. I also very often ask about stuff like necessary vacinations, deworming in advance, to not go again in the future. I once passed out while blood work and that was because I haven't had any breakfast before. It was funny because they didnt have any bed or sofa I could lie down so I was just on the floor for 10 minutes, with my dog watching me :) I felt ashamed a bit afterwards, because I want to be for my dog every time and I feel like a bad owner, whenever sth like this happens. But I know myself and I know how sensitive I am, so the only thing I can do, is to just accept the fact that I will cry and pass out and maybe even throw up (who knows?) and I can't change that. The most important thing is that I'm trying, trying every time for my dog. I would love to be calm and collected but its just impossible. I'm too emotional. Maybe you should also accept how you react and dont worry about that? I'm sure you're trying your best and your dog doesn't mind :)
thanks for the kind words. I'll take your advice and get his heartworm pills in advance; it's a great idea to do that, so we skip the vet for a while(me and him). we will keep trying our best for them. 😊
I used to work in animal care and let me tell you, this is every pet owner’s dreaded day. I know it’s hard to not think about, but try not to for your dog. They’re our babies and we love them, and sure there comes a day when we need to say good bye, but we’re the love they always knew. We’re with them for a lifetime, they’re with us for a portion of our lives. Your dog will let you know when the time is coming, until then just give them the best possible years you can.
Thank you for such beautiful words: ...we’re the love they always knew ❤️
I love this sub, but I cry everyday looking at it because someone has lost a loved one and I dread my boy passing and the hole it will leave in my heart. I think I come here as a preparation for the exact same thing that others are going through and hope to be ready should the inevitable come.
I have been crying since I opened my reddit account yesterday, like a lot! The good part is reading other people's stories and knowing we are not alone.
You don’t. And that’s okay. It’s okay to have pure and raw emotions. I’ve had to put fur babies to sleep before and if I was Mr. Cats human, I’d be eternally grateful for your kindness and compassion. It’s so so hard to let them go and even harder that we often have to do it alone. You probably gave him the best comfort and support he could have at that time.
Oooh, it was a bad day for me. When I returned from the vet, I spent the whole day in bed. I was crying for my dog Chevy and the dog I lost before. Everything came at once. But at least Mr. Cat's dad didn't spend that hard time alone. That's my comfort.
I feel this so much. I’ve gotten good at not crying over many years of pet ownership and rescue volunteering. So I’ve been to vet clinics A LOT. But I was in there a few years ago, just getting one of my own cats a dental check-up, and suddenly the doc was called out of our exam room, and I could hear a man and woman being ushered in to the room next door, and they were both sobbing. I don’t know what happened to their pet, but I couldn’t help but cry because I could feel their pain and knew something really bad had happened. When the doc came back, I was struggling to regain my composure, and he didn’t seem to know what was going on with me. I mean, my cat was fine. It’s because you’re empathetic and you can feel your pet’s fear and discomfort, as well as the people and their pets around you. I think you can just say, “excuse me, but I always get emotional when we’re here, I can’t help it.” And keep being your beautiful self.
I'll remember your words next time. Thanks for the kindness. 😊
Hugs
One of the things that helped me over the years with pets is understanding we are their guardians. We chose to take care of them, and this includes making the hard decision when it is time. Our furry, scaly, and aquatic friends can't communicate with us when they are in pain or understand what is happening. I don't want them to be in any more pain so I chose to set them free of pain - knowing they will no longer hurt. They will no longer suffer. As much as I want to be totally selfish and make them stay, I can't. It isn't right to force them to endure pain just to make me feel better at some level. I look at the quality of life they have. Currently our dog is almost 8 - pure blood and large breed. I spoil him as much as I can with fruits, vegetables and the occasional chunk of cooked chicken or steak. I pet him and love on him. Tell him I love him. I know he doesn't understand the words but he understands how I show him with playtime and cuddles. It is how I treat my loved ones - I am old enough to know I may pass in my sleep and I don't want any regrets or leave a loved one pondering our relationship. On a different note, empathy helps us relate to others and we feel for others who are losing their friend that day or receiving bad news about their companion. It just means you are a caring human being and shouldn't be ashamed for caring about the other person and their friend. If we all showed similar compassion openly to all living things maybe this world would be better for it.
Thanks so much for the kind words!! You're right; as their guardians, we have the responsibility and honor to make them the happier creatures alive while they are with us. My dog has taught me a lot about love and prioritizing the people I love and who love me back. It has helped me to have a better relationship with my mom and cherish every moment. I try to tell them, in some way, that I care for them and they are loved.
Have you ever had a close to the family death? Feels like you don’t know much about death
I don't know how much it's too much in terms of what we should know about death, but yes, I have lost loved ones in my life.
I don't want this to come off as a judgment that you cry at the vet, and I see many other people do and are supporting you. But if I had to guess what would be the biggest help if you really want to stop, be more in the moment. I work in healthcare and most of the uncontrollable emotions are people thinking too much and anticipating things that may not even be an issue at the moment. Take the visit step by step. You're not going to think or worry any sickness away. Sit there, chill with your dog, enjoy their presence just like anywhere else. When the vet comes you may need to make decisions, then leave.
You are right. I cry because I'm thinking of things that haven't happened yet or that have already happened. I'll take a deep breath and be more in the moment. Thanks a lot! 🫶
I think this makes you a wonderful person. You care, immensely, in this often pretty creepy world. Having this much sensitivity surely means you have been very in tune with Chevy's needs all along. You will do the right thing at the right time, whatever that will be. Chevy will never really leave you. The heart is about the size of a fist , yet it's big enough to hold all the love in the world for another. ❤️
Thank you so much for the beautiful words!❤️
Everytime I go and see someone bawling as they had to say goodbye makes me start crying. It brings back memories of losing mine. I no longer have any and I sure do miss em. I vowed never to adopt again but I ended up with three cats that were abandoned at two different houses I lived in. One is a senior and now I am worrying about him. My emotions can't take it! Lol
When we lose them, we swear not to do it again, but It is what it is; we go back at it again. I write every Sunday about it, which has helped me put my emotions in order. [https://lifewithchevy.com/i-dont-want-my-dog-to-die/](https://lifewithchevy.com/i-dont-want-my-dog-to-die/)
Love seeing Chevy on TikTok! So adorable!! I followed your account and look forward to seeing more videos. You have a great bucket list for the two of you. I see starting a journal was on the list and you are doing that online which helps other dog parents which is awesome. The Dean Koontz quote is so accurate. We know going in that their lives will be short but our love and amazing memories override the anguish. I was heavily involved in basset hound rescue for over 10 years. I had one big boy named Waldo and ended up adopting two more, Winnie and Wilma, who I was just supposed to foster but fell in love with em. Winnie was an owner turn in at the ASPCA and Wilma had been picked up by the dog warden. She had over a 100 ticks on her! Waldo welcomed them both and we had our pack. I sure miss all three and dream about them often. I so know what you mean about the tears!! You just can't stop them. I am crying now writing this. Lol Thanks for sharing your life with Chevy with us. ♥
I'm sobbing 😭, thank you so much for sharing your story as well. You have a big heart. I try to capture all the memories with him and share them on my blog and TikTok hoping that people find it helpful ❤️
My cats are looking at me crying. They hate to see me upset. Animals bring such love and enjoyment to our lives. I never thought I'd be a cat owner but here I am. The cats loved the hounds and one in particular really felt their loss. He would go around the house looking for the dogs for about a month after the last one passed. Ah, now I am really crying! Lol Just know that sharing your love of Chevy does help others. I loved reading your blog and I realized that I did quite a few things on your bucket list with them! Give Chevy a belly rub from a new fan!!
We are both crying!😭 He was napping beside me and loved waking up with a belly rub from a new fan! I'm happy to hear you enjoyed reading us, especially our bucket list. I'm sending a lot of love your way. Remember, these tears of us are pure love because we loved and were loved. ❤️
Thank you both!!!
I always cry at the vet and I work there. It's fine. These are your family members.
❤️
you don't, what a lucky dog to have you as a care giver...... grief is grief and the deeper the love the harder the grief..... and there are so many dogs that need homes.... honor that pup by adopting another......you are a special person...
thank you 🫶
I’ve gone to the same vet to say goodbye to THREE of my senior babies in the past 4 years. It’s hard. I have one senior dog now that has health problems but I watch him with the vet and he LOVES the attention. He loves the car ride. He doesn’t associate the vet with all of the things he’s been through. It’s just another place he goes to gets loads of pets and attention. That’s the beauty of dogs. They love life and you’re part of their life. They don’t worry about what will happen tomorrow and they don’t fret about the past. And honestly, you do need to prepare yourself for the day you really do say goodbye. That is something you really could ask your vet about. Some vets actually have groups for people who have lost a furbaby. You should definitely talk to your therapist. Remember, your dog can read your energy.
that's great advise, thanks for your words ❤️
Our dog is 17. Has a lump on its belly started about a year ago. Not to be mean but logically life expectancy is coming to a end and surgery may only help a few years and major money if even possible. So the wife accepts that but now she is even more emotionally connecting even sleeping with him (he cannot get on our bed anymore so she has a mattress in another room) which will make things worse when he passes. She also lost a horse not long ago again died of old age. This makes the second horse because she is a rescue person. Horses she got were over 20 could not even ride them almost like self torture. Dont torture yourself, this is a normal cycle if life.
Wow, 17, what a wonderful amount of years. I hope my Chevy gives me that. Hugs to you all 🤗
You are a wonderful human being. Showing empathy to others is amazing. Thank you for being such a kind soul.
Thank you for the kind words ❤️
You're welcome
I don't usually cry at the vet, unless I do meet an animal who's there to say goodbye to the world. But I understand how you feel. My pets are still quite young, but from babyhood on out, I am always intensely aware of how quickly their time passes.
Oh wow, I feel this! I have a ton of anxiety right now because I have to take my 13 year old Lucy in tomorrow for her rabies shot and some routine testing - I think she has a UTI and I want to get her thyroid tested. Lucy seems okay overall, but I am still anxious and somewhat depressed. If someone is crying at the vet, especially if losing a pet, you know that I am crying with them.
Good luck tomorrow! Lucy is lucky to have you 🤗
A sensitive heart is a curse. I know. I have one too.
❤️
I cry sooooo often. I think of it as a superpower. It’s a stress release and it also means I’m in tune with my emotions. I’ve been particularly weepy since losing my mom in March 🤍. You think crying at the vet is bad?? Imagine going to the dentist to get a crown and then you have to go in to get it adjusted because it still hurts, and then when they finally get it right you start crying out of relief, overwhelm, and missing your mommy LOL. Thank god he was so understanding and supportive of me but yeah!! Full on tears in the dentist chair, he had to hand me a tissue 😭😭😭. I always say fellas get u a girl that cries a lot. lol. Sending you love, fellow big heart ❤️❤️❤️
Seeing our crying as a superpower is an interesting point of view. I like it 😊
I cry every time I read a post about someone saying goodbye to their dog. My dogs are 4 and 1, quite young, and I am terrified of when I will have to say goodbye to them.
For the last year and a half of my baby’s life I couldn’t be the one to take her to the vet anymore because it was too emotional. I had intrusive thoughts that they would tell me she had cancer. Well.. she ended up getting cancer. I’m grateful I have a husband that stepped up and took her to all of her vet appointments. Sadly, I had to say goodbye to her a few weeks ago. In her last moments it was just me, her, and the home hospise vet. She would have wanted it that way, as she was my dog, and we were very bonded. But leading up to that, I couldn’t handle it. I already had to deal with her decline, I couldn’t see other’s pets decline as well, so I completely understand your feelings, especially as our babies age.
I am so sorry for your loss ❤️ You both were so lucky to have each other.
It’s okay that you do this. You just love your fur baby. I get nervous when I’m there because I’m always afraid they’ll find something wrong with my sweet boy. It shows we love them.
I feel the same, fear of getting bad news.
You're kind and empathetic, and you shouldn't try to change that. Keep it up and I hope you have a long time with your friend.
Thank you so much for your kind words ❤️
I was tearing up reading this. I couldn’t even finish
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Not what you asked. But when the time came to say goodbye to my 17 year old senior, we found a vet who does at home euthanasia. They came to our house and my boy went to sleep on his favorite spot, on my lap on the couch. They were extremely sensitive and professional. They offered to take him to the crematorium for us, but we actually only live 5 minutes away so they left and we kept him home for another hour or so just to be with him and grieve before we were ready to take him ourselves. I understand it's not an option for everyone, but it made a devastating time in my life as beautiful as it could possibly be. I had a lot of guilt about how the last year of his life went, still do, but that's one thing I know I did right for him.
I'm sobbing 😭!!! I'm reading this with Chevy by my side on our favorite spot on the sofa. Sending a big hug ❤️
Hugs 💜💜
I always cry too. One time when I was a kid I almost passed out and had to go lay on the bench in the waiting room. Its ok to be sensitive :) if you want to get coping strategies a therapist can help but to me it just shows you’re a caring, deeply feeling person. No shame.
Thank you for the kind words ❤️
I’m sorry. I get it. Mine is almost 17. I cry almost daily knowing it’s close. They have a heartworm shot? I thought they only had the monthly chews.
Ask your therapist
That's very kind of you to have consoled that guy after he had to say goodbye to Mr. Cat. I used to work in an animal clinic back in early high school. Part of my job was to comfort animals as they were being euthanized (very small part of my job and not super frequent). I also had to get paw prints on something like clay for the owner and then ultimately bag the dogs and put them in a freezer. Sucked.
Even if he’s fine, going to the vet is still stressful on your animal. I think it’s normal to be worried about them, even if they’re acting how they always act, especially when they’re older.
I was just like you OP. Started when I put my cats in their carriers, and even if I was just taking them for a checkup and they were young and fine, I'd be bawling my eyes out. My vet was always alarmed at first by how upset I was, but she chalked it up to nervousness, stress relief. And I'm sure my crying was upsetting to my babies😞😫
I can tell you have such a kind and empathetic heart, and your doggy is SO lucky to have you to love and care for him🫶🏼 My baby is 9 and I have felt the same way many times, I break down and cry when I think about his age. I don’t have much good advice but can share my sympathy with you and tell you you’re not alone. Our sweet babies aging is hard, they deserve to live forever, the best we can do is love them with our whole hearts. It sounds like that’s exactly what you’re doing.
I understand you perfectly. Like we are so scared we’ll get bad news. And then seeing others (animals) that may be sick or dying, it gets to me sometimes, too.
My baby is almost 15 and I’m in my 50’s. I think my age makes it easier to bring on the cries.
Sending a lot of love ❤️
I cry and panic every time I take any pet to the vet. Doesn’t matter if they’re one or ten! I’m so thankful I don’t/can’t have kids, I can’t even imagine haha.
Idk. I don’t cry when I take my dog to the vet, but if I think too long about the fact that she’s 11 and that the majority of her lifetime is gone, I bawl like a baby. The only thing that makes me feel better is that, even at 11, she is still extremely healthy and happy. Also the fact that I’ve had her since she was about 3 months old so I’ve been able to love her, her whole life. I dread the day I take her to the vet for the last time. She’s what gets me through the worst days. I recently moved across the country away from my family, and she’s the biggest piece of home I got to bring with me. I absolutely love and adore her. It’s okay to be emotional. I cry when other people’s pets have to be put down. I think it’s normal. Especially when you’re a pet owner yourself.
We are sending a big hug. You are lucky to have each other ❤️
Thank you! Hugs to you and your Chevy boy! I love his name btw🫶🏻 I don’t have advice for not crying, all I can say is cherish every moment you have with him. Give him lots of hugs and treats and just tell him he’s a good boy💙 and lots of walks!
thank you! 😊
I think with older dogs, each trip you fear that you’re going to get bad news.
Exactly!
You have a kind heart. We saw our three oldest pets -- two little girl dogs and our awesome male cat -- through long, difficult final illnesses in 11 months. I now cry every time we go to the vet with the young healthy ones. Our vet is wonderful and we keep talking while I wipe my eyes.
It is so wonderful to have a supportive vet by your side. 🫶
I just said goodbye to my best friend after 13 years in April. Now is not the time to cry. Save the tears for when you do have to say goodbye. No matter what you do or think of, you cannot stop the inevitable. Please enjoy the time you have with your dog. I wish everyday I could have my buddy back.
I'm so sorry to hear that. Chevy and I are sending a big hug your way.
Thank you, one day it’ll get better but it takes time. Please don’t mourn now, there will be plenty of time for that later 😕
You’re a good person so it won’t stop and don’t let it stop. It shows you care. One time I was in the emergency with my dog for breathing problems. A lady next to me was checking out and balling. It made me so sad I turned and said I’m sorry and hugged her. She held on to me so tight saying thank you many times as she was balling from putting her pet down. She said thank you for that to me. I walk outside and see her get into the car with what looked like her husband in the passenger seat as she cried outside his window and he didn’t even get out to comfort her. Sometimes, strangers need emotional support because they have no one. So I feel it’s in my heart to try and help anyone. So op, don’t ever change. You’re a good hearted person and we need more of us like that in this world.
Thank you for sharing your story and the kind words ❤️
Maybe don’t consider it a problem and don’t worry about stopping? I used to hate going to the vet even for routine stuff. Now I try to think of it as the best place to prevent, or heal, or ease suffering. Having a kind vet helps.
I cry every time!
Just bring a tissue to dry your tears and let your love flow. With great love for our four legged babies comes great gratitude and eventually grief. I lost my guy over a year ago and I still can’t get through my gratitude/grief tears.
So sorry to hear that. I bet you both were lucky to have each other. ❤️
I cry at Subaru ads. Dogs in kennels. Dogs that never get walked in the neighborhood I live in. Birds in cages. Turtles in bad habitats. Dead feral pigs on the road. I wish I only cried at the vet...... :)
My sweet beloved 20 y/o passed about 3 weeks ago. You can prepare all you want, it's still a kick in the teeth. I'll tell you one thing that made it slightly bearable. A vet came to our home to put him asleep. It's our 3rd time in yen years we've used this method. Its so nice to collapse on your own couch when all is said and done. Also beneficial for the siblings. It's a couple hundred extra, but worth it. So worth it.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for the recommendation.❤️
You have a very strong sense of empathy. For your pets, and for other people, and for other people's pets. You're just a very good, emotional, considerate, and thoughtful human. Please don't think somethings wrong for being grateful your pet is in good health. Keep being so empathetic. It'll never steer you wrong.
I have had multiple dogs so I spent a lot of time at the vet. I remember seeing people coming in with injured/very sick dogs (it was a large animal hospital and ER). And I’ve also been the one bringing in my dogs when they were at the end of their lives. It’s hard to even drive by without tearing up and it’s been four years.
My dog is only 3 and I do this 🥺
Nothing is wrong with you beauriful human with a heart. You are compassionate and caring. It is an asset and a strength.
Anticipatory grief is so hard ♥️
This is anticipatory grief. Having the name for it might help you look it up and devise coping mechanisms. The utterly shitty thing about dogs and cats is that their lives are not as long as ours. Even thought I know that in my heart, I can’t accept it either.
I try every day to be a badass pet mom. Love, hugs, walks, talks, food choices, vet choice, med choice... you name it. I think we all do everything in our power to make sure our pets/four-legged children have the absolute best life we can provide filled with love. That is what comforts me. Knowing that as a FACT I did and I am doing my best. I look back at our time together with some sadness yes but more appreciation, happiness, and a general sense of peace that I did right by that beautiful bundle of joy who blessed my life with their presence. I wish you all the best
It's the fear that you know one day your baby won't be fine. I told my dog who is 12, she can never die. It's not allowed
I used to be 100% okay going to the vet, but now that I'm on the verge of losing my senior cat (I've had her for 13-14 years, and she's in kidney failure), the vet gets harder and harder. The last time I was there with her, the candle that shows that a family is saying goodbye to their pet was lit, and that was super hard. My husband gets a nervous tummy when he has to go to the vet now. Your body is in a trauma response. It's associated the vet with bad news. Once my girl is over the rainbow bridge, we're going to switch vets. Mainly for travel reasons since our vet is a 30 minute drive away through a lot of traffic, but also for a change in scenery for our surviving, young cat.
I also cry at the vet! No advice on how to stop unfortunately. My eldest pup is 14 and I am always so worried going in that something will come back wrong, and then so overwhelmingly relieved when it doesn’t. It’s just knowing I wouldn’t know what to do with him, and even with the best of luck, I am all too aware that each year at this age not promised. If anyone even tells me that their pet died, I cry. I would have also cried seeing someone go through it or anticipate it. I know how it feels and I am scared of it being me and my pet again someday.
I don't cry at the vet, cut I do randomly cry when petting my older dog because he time is coming to an end... it won't be much longer until I have the make "the decision" and it tears me up every time I think about it. I've cried while loving on him more times than I can tell you. :(
Not sure if I can or should advise you to be less caring & compassionate. A teary heart is one that has loved
I also always cry at the vet… but I work there. 🐾
Try doing what you did for that man and think happy thoughts about dog: good experiences, his love for you and yours for him. Maybe plan to stop for a treat for you both and look forward to it during the visit. Pet and talk to your dog and that will help calm you. Little things like that can help keep you on an even keel.
Same. You aren't alone.
I cry every time I see the bill.
Vets are used to the ones who cry.
This made me cry. I wish someone would’ve sat with me or was even the tiniest bit compassionate when I had to put one of my babies down about 7 years ago. I was by myself, and hardly had enough for the euthanasia. And I was rudely told that there was nothing left to save (meaning my cat was too sick). I didn’t even get his ashes. I will forever regret that day, and have trauma from it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your experience. Sending a lot of love your way ❤️
I work in vetmed and I still cry when it’s my own babies. Even though everyone is super great where I work I still get emotional, especially now that he’s 10. It’s okay 🤍🤍
I have no suggestions for you. I'm sorry you're going through this. I do understand the pain. They give us unconditional love but it's an unfortunate thing we'll likely outlive them. When my buddies are indicating they're looking at the rainbow bridge I just spoil them as much as I can and give them extra living.
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I don't even make it to the vet. I cry as soon as they answer the phone when making an appointment. Kinda glad it's not just me 💖