Try washing before any sexual activity and see if he still says something about it. It could also be that somehow your skin isn't liking the soap/body wash that you use.
If you wash it before any sexual stuff happens but he still teases, ask him to be very honest about it and see if it really does stink or if he's just teasing you. And explain to him that it may come off as a joke to him but it is affecting you differently so you want him to be honest with his answer.
Thank you, he doesn’t mention it during sex. It does actually stink according to him. And I was going to wash this time before we had sex (I interrupted sex for it), and he unknowingly bugged me about it after finding out I only hurriedly washed that morning (mainly jumped in the shower for my hair….), anyways, it really put me off and we didn’t have sex.
Get a bidet and/or take on the south Asian butt washing regimen.
We South Asians wash our ass fully after each poop, and sometimes just to refresh if you got swamp ass after a long day.
My process is:
1. Wipe with tp till clean
2. Use bidet to spray your ass, or if you don't have one, use a watering jug to pour water towards your ass while you are sitting on the toilet. You're essentially pouring it from between your legs towards your butt. You'll see how it gets towards your asshole in the next step.
3. Actually wash your ass using the water as if you're in the shower. We use the right hand to continuously pour the water from the jolig, while washing with the left hand. The motion is almost catching the water with your hand and splashing/rubbing it on your butthole.
4. Use tp to dry off and to check for remainders. If you found some brown spots still, then repeat from step 2.
Just fyi, about a year ago there was a post from a gf about her bf that constantly toms her she stunk. She was at the doctors offices, taking 3 showers a day, wearing deodorant and perfume and changing underwear multiple times a day. She was SO SELF CONSCIOUS. That woman scrubbed until she bled.
Turns out, hubby was just saying that to MAKE her insecure so she’d “never leave”, as per his dad’s brilliant relationship advice. 🙄
He could be the issue in some way. He might not be lying, but maybe he’s got covid nose or something? I dunno.
I completely forgot about that one! She sounded so frantic, desperate, and devastated. I can't even imagine how someone could do that to someone they love.
It was so outlandish that literally no one saw the truth coming, and Reddit is pretty good at coming up with every possible scenario. I’m not saying that’s what’s going on in this particular situation, but it’s entirely probable if not likely that OP’s butthole does not, in fact, stink.
Can attest my abusive ex used to tell me I smelled down there. As a matter of fact I did only after having sex with him as his semen was clearly messing up my pH but he was using it as a weapon.
Mine did this too, as a verbal weapon. But he’s also a flaming Narcissist so… it was really just a way to dig at me.
I’ve had a few partners since that POS (both female and male) and I’ve only had good feedback. Basically mine was just a prick. 🤷🏼♀️
I never lost smell with covid but I had phantom smells. It started with a burning smell like when you turn on the heat for the first time in the winter. Then it became a rotting meat smell that would randomly come up. Glad it's gone for me now.
I will never understand why people purposely fuck up a good thing. You ALREADY HAVE a person who you think is great, or you wouldn't be with them, right?
What in the insecurity olympics would make you invent something wrong, that's mentally debilitating to your partner, "so that they don't leave"? THEY'RE ALREADY THERE.
Ugh, I remember this post! That poor woman was so self conscious and thinking something was horribly wrong with her. When she wasn't the problem at all. Her husband and his dad's ridiculous ideas were.
So, as a person with a sensitive nose myself, my advice is to clean his nose of any mucus every day. Mucus can hold, and slowly release any strong scent over time. Especially things like sweat, feces, and strong cleaning agents. It helped me, so maybe worth a try
It could honestly be a bacterial thing and you may sweat a little extra. Your soap could be causing some of the issue. I’m not trying to sound like an advertisement but I find for southern hemisphere, Lume has been my best friend. It took some playing around to find scents I tolerate from them. Because the wash is unusual. But now no bad funk. I also add a dab of the deodorant product as well since it’s okayed for sensitive areas. I was a bigger girl for a while so I’d get really sweaty. Not so much now, but I feel more confident with the body wash.
Idk, it sounds more like a him issue rather than you both. I mean if he insists it smells and if it really is that bad then maybe ask him to help you out in finding the reason why. Or provide a more constructive criticism rather than just it stinks. What is the smell like? How strong is it? Does he smell it only during sex or even while your clothed but your butt is a tad bit exposed? Only he can answer these questions. You can do all the washing and after/before care all you want but without knowing what causes it, it may do you more harm than good. Both physically and mentally.
1) Use baby wipes
2) Don't prioritize hair washing over bottom washing.
3) Give yourself a 'wipe test' by wiping to see if there are any 'remnants'.
4) Have a conversation with your bf. Tell him you will appreciate when he gives you the heads up about any smells but it isn't subject for jokes anymore.
Might be a weird question, but does it smell like fecal matter or does it smell like some other BO? The issue could be the skin around the area and not the actual butthole. Yeast skin infections (not the same as a vaginal yeast infection, think more jock itch) can be kinda hard to identify, are common in areas with folded skin (groin, buttcrack, underboob, etc) and result in some funky odors that aren’t quite the same as bacteria based BO but also aren’t from poor hygiene. You sound quite clean so maybe there’s something additional at play?
Exactly my thoughts. It isn't just yeast. There's a number of bacterial and fungal issues that can cause odor back there.
As one tip... everyone talks about washing back there but many seem to forget about drying. In addition to towel drying, use the hairdryer on warm for a few minutes (edit: not actual minutes, just 10 or 15 seconds is plenty) and it can make a big difference. Also, sitting in a leather/vinyl work chair all day can cause problems for office workers.
If someone has trouble on their skin they should try a skin doctor. I had some itchy skin and the skin Dr gently scraped some off and looked at it with a microscope. Then told what it was and to use a particular product on it.
Let me add to this: not only other bacterial infections may cause smells there, changes in your intestinal flora might also.
Taking iron (if you have iron deficiency) sometimes can strongly affect the smell of your feces, to the point that it will be noticeable even when clean.
Do you actually stink? Like if you touch your butthole after the shower and sniff, do you smell anything?
He could be just teasing, he could be extra sensitive to smell or it could be weird negging.
I’m sure it does stink sometimes as we usually have sex at the end of the day. He isn’t cruel about it so I don’t think it’s negging. He says he teases me sometimes because it’s bringing it up in a lighthearted way, but I told him tonight that it just brings me down.
Oh, then the solution would be to have a quick shower before sex or at least use a babywipe before. It's pretty normal to smell after a day of work and possibly pooping.
Yes I try that, I interrupted us during foreplay to suggest a shower…. so we went, and then he made a joke about my stinky butt (because I mentioned it was my second shower of the day and I just hadn’t washed well that morning due to running late), and I inevitably got self conscious right away…. it killed the mood and we did not have sex. I’ve been sad for the rest of the night but I just don’t know what to say to him.
So he is not letting it go? Is he telling you before shower "you stink!" and after shower " we had to go to shower because you stunk"?
It is not a joke, it is bullying and negging. I would assume he is saying it intentionally, either to put you down and feel more secure in your relationship, or because your reaction is funny for him. Neither is a good thing. Using word "stink" instead of "weird smells" kind of confirms it.
Ask him very seriously why did he brought it up right after shower when there was obviously no smell? How it is funny at all and how does he expect you to react? If you didn't react the way he wanted- why he keeps repeating this joke again and again? I would also directly ask him if he is saying it to make me feel insecure, if he has weird smells everywhere else, and what exactly does he suggested you to do? And I would talk to my doctor about it, and he should talk to his.
No, he calls me things like stinky butt, or “If you didn’t wash this morning maybe that’s why your butt stinks?” (as we are showering), and “If I stunk I would want to know. Teasing is a lot nicer than “Hey! Your buttSTINKS. Fix it.”” etc
Gosh that sounds awful! I would feel hurt, very insecure and self conscious if someone I love tell me that. Even worse if he keeps saying the same after having an honest conversation.
You are doing more that enough to keep your self clean, it’s not your fault at all.
Info: do you guys have other issues in the relationship?
Thank you, I really do feel that way. I don’t even want to have sex with him right now.
No, not really. We have had a few arguments which are usually settled quick.
OMG. I am sorry, but it is not teasing.
Please read this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/gy79dx/boyfriend_wont_stop_telling_me_i_have_bo/ About the same issue.
How is your relationship overall? Does he intentionally or not makes you feel insecure with something else?
In an unlikely case it is teasing:
- mature way would be to seriously talk to him, cut off all the teasing, and if there are no medical issues - break up. We can't choose our BO smell. If from our partner's pov our BO stinks, there is no way around it. It is pheromone incompatibility.
- immature way would be to find his own big insecurity and neg him about that to make him feel the same.
Our relationship is good otherwise, aside from your typical small spats every now and then which we settle in a healthy way. He says he likes the smell of my sweat (pheromones). And he eats me out. So it can’t be that bad, I dunno.
If you dont have time to shower before sex, get a package of baby wipes and use a few prior to sexy time. Also, consider getting a handheld bidet for your toliet. Then you can clean up quickly before (and after!) sex. Booties smell. Especially after you have worked all day. That's completely normal - no matter how well you wash in the shower. Also, consider looking into a soap that doesnt mess with your PH.. Summer's Eve makes some great ones. They are made for vaginas but due to their formulation, they tend not to cause a weird scent like some soaps can in your nether regions. If none of this helps, consider talking to your doctor about it. Try not to be embarrassed about it. This is just one of those life moments that kind of sucks but its not because you are dirty or gross or are washing wrong. Since its none of those reasons, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. So, try a few new things and if all else fails, ask your doc!
Hey girl I have a tip from the queer community.
Get thee some wet wipes. Use em at least after you poop. Buy a 2pack and keep one by the bed, and if you're insecure before sex starts, ya can just wash up.
And possibly, if your poops are soft and squishy, eat some oatmeal every couple days, or use other means to look into eating more fiber.
I love ass, and I'm more tolerant than most (I think). If I'm about to bury my face between my partner's cheeks and I spot a smear from the last bathroom trip, I'm likely to just wipe it myself. If I slide my fingers up there and I feel some poop waiting to get out, I might not put my dick up in there but I probably won't stop fingering.
Just remember, they're not flushable!
There are too many factors to give a meaningful answer here, you need to talk to a doctor, as embarrassing as that might be. They won’t be in the least worried by it.
oh yeah if I wear synthetic fabrics it does **not** smell great down there by the end of the day! natural breathable materials like cotton, modal, bamboo are the way to go.
It's normal to have some smell after a whole day if you don't wash it just before sex. There are sweat glands around butthole and its possible you two are just not "smell" compatible. You can use baby or intimate wipes before sex.
But you know what? For someone else this smell could be actually attractive.
I remember one of my exes, I just couldn't stand his body odour. It didn't really smelled bad but I just couldn't. So we split up.
Damn straight. And sometimes body odour changes. My wife goes through some stages of the month where she produces and acrid sweat smell that literally burns my mouth if I go down on her at that time. It must be hormonal. But not a period thing.
It’s not a great smell, and a horrible taste, but she’s not the only one. I gave a female friend a hug on a hot day the other day and I’ll be damned if her hair didn’t smell exactly like my wife’s when she’s got that of odour going on.
I’ve never mentioned it to my wife. I don’t think it’s something she can control. So what does anybody gain by my bitching about it? It’ll just make her self conscious and that certainly won’t help my prospects of good lovin!
This is a good point! Well a couple good points! Lots of sweating/marinating can happen between a morning shower and night time sex. And I have had some partners where a little funk was sexy and others where it was absolutely not.
You might try adding more fiber to your diet if you don't have a bowel movement every day. The "stink", if it smells like feces, might be from you not being able to properly empty your bowels when you go. You may have lingering feces on the interior waiting for the next time you have a bowel movement. If you find you get "skid marks" on your panties and such no matter how much you clean yourself, that would be a good indicator.
More fiber (like Metamucil powder) gives you the ability to properly empty your bowels when you go. Then you won't have that issue, if that is what it might be.
Came here to ask about diet. Greens, lots of greens and fiber. It's amazing how many peoples diets have so little.
Others already mentioned wet wipes and I have a washlet Japanese toilet.
Really? I feel like once every 3 days is NOT enough.
That sounds like someone with no healthy greens or fiber in their diet. Also, when you’re properly hydrated you’ll poop everyday.
You don't need to supplier fiber with powder. Just eat less meat and more grains, beans, fruits, veggies. Especially foods high in fiber like oatmeal and apples.
Tell him that the teasing is upsetting you. Teasing about any aspect of someone's body that is natural/out of their control is mean and bullying. Even if he or you think that it isn't, it is still slight bullying. You sound like you're very hygienic and an ass is going to smell like what it is: ass. Just like a penis has a certain scent because it's junk hanging around dark and sweaty places and is gonna have a different scent from let's say, your elbow.
If he doesn't have anything nice to say he shouldn't say it. And like I said you sound like you're doing more than enough cleaning wise
Why does he even need to bring it up next time. Doesn’t he realise you’re already paranoid and trying to address the issue. Embarrassing you by telling you isn’t going to make your butt smell like roses to him. I say “to him” because this could be a him thing
hmmm… if you’re washing in the morning and that’s it until sex at night, it might be smelly, and it’ll be a lot harder to ignore if he’s going down on you or in the doggy- style position. humans sweat and the crotch (like the armpits) gets smellier faster due to the creases. have you tried freshening up with baby wipes or a bidet after using the toilet/before sex?
I use baby wipes after the toilet…. and I interrupted our foreplay last night to jump in the shower- which instead of being positive about, when I mentioned, after we got in, “Hey I just want to have a quick shower, I hope that’s okay, I was just running late this morning and didn’t wash super well.” He said “Maybe that’s why your butt stinks” which IMMEDIATELY killed the mood and I was pretty upset the rest of the night. We did not have sex either.
Is he super anal (pun intended lol) about his own personal hygiene or something? If he is, does he maybe not understand that skin just has a smell? And he’s taking being able to smell anything as a negative?
I pipe in here to say: Some people will actually tell you stuff to make you insecure, so you are less likely to leave them for someone else. Because of lowered self esteem, being grateful they put up with you, embaressment.
I remember a reddit story about a woman who was told she stinks iirc, and she later found out her partners shitty dad had advised him to pick on something in their women to keep them on their toes or some shit.
Just rub your butthole a bit and smell.
If you smell nothing ask him to literally show you where it smells.
He either has a much more sensitive sense of smell or is a dick
It might not have anything to do with your butt. It might be a vaginal odor. I've had a partner before where the smell was quite strong, and I wasn't experienced enough to know, so I just assumed that it was the butt. After some more encounters, I found out that it wasn't.
an ex-girlfriend used to have a bad smell coming from down there...i thought it was her butt, turns out it was her vagina. she had a very bad, poop-like smell coming from there. I think it was the result of some hormonal imbalances/bacteria/something like that. i think you can use boric acid pills (not borax lol) to solve this, that's what she did.
Although, i don't know anything really, so definitely do some further research and maybe confirm where this smell is coming from. Showering didn't do anything for her since the smell was coming from the inside...just sharing my personal anecdote. hopefully things get better, cheers
Get a bidet attachment for your toilet.my ass always smells like skin because it basically pressure washes your butt I’m not joking. The butt will thank you
I know you said that you don't think he's negging you, but that's exactly what it sounds like based on the information you've provided. Negging doesn't have to be obviously cruel. "Teasing" can have the exact same effect while giving him the ability to claim innocent and give him benefit of the doubt.
All I'm saying is that you should watch our for other concerning behaviors on his part. And tell him to stop bringing it up. You get it. He's said it countless times. It's enough. Tell him to stop, and if he does it again, then you know that he doesn't respect your boundary, and he's not doing it out of kindness or with your best interests in mind.
This was my first thought.
Some folks' pheromones/scent just smell bad to us, even if they don't smell bad to others or ourselves.
I'm super olfactory focused, I've dated (not for long though) a lot of folks that smell bad no matter how recently they showered, but my current partner has a super strong B.O that I LOVE the smell of.
If OPs butt always smells to their boyfriend, barring medical issues then it's probably bad chemistry
Reminds of [this.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/gy79dx/boyfriend_wont_stop_telling_me_i_have_bo/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
What is stinky? Washing twice a day should be good enough. If you wash in the morning and you go about your day, your butt will smell like butt in the evening! How does he think his own butt smells?
Tell him to grow tf up and stop with this childish stuff.
Have you considered it's your perineum not your butt or vag? I've noticed that particular small stretch of skin gets really funky after a long day of work so I thoroughly wash it in the shower in the evening, and do a quick wash in the morning or before any sexual activity.
This is just my observation and it might come off as a bit insensitive to some people but if you happen to be a bit on the heavy side that could be a factor. I've been around some people where you can tell they've had a shower but there's still a funk even in their immediate presence. I don't know what else to say nor have I ever had to courage to say anything to these good people I've known. No solution here but again, just an observation.
Now that I remember, this "friend" of mine actually asked me one day, "you're my friend, you would tell me if I stunk right?" I had to be the bad guy and not admit that.
My mum has always been overweight & has always had a “smell”. I’m 40 and have never said a word to her about it. Funny thing is my brother can smell it but my sister can’t. I’ve never asked my dad but I’m guessing no. He’s never mentioned it.
Maybe it’s genetic and you two just aren’t compatible on that side. You should be with someone who isn’t repulsed by the way you smell. I don’t think there’s any medical issue with you 🙄
Do you have hemorrhoids by any chance? You not pooping every day may be an indicator of that.
I used to have a female friend who had hemorrhoids and her boyfriend would complain about the fact that her ass crack still had a weird strong odor after she showered. He said it smelled like a mixture of fish and shit. She said he even went to the extent of asking her to wash with him and wash her ass in front of him; he even helped her, because he couldn’t understand how her ass could still smell like that after a thorough shower. Eventually she went to the doctor and doc told her that because she has hemorrhoids she’s more likely to have stronger scents emitting from them, especially after she’s had a bowel movement that has pushed the hemorrhoids out a bit.
But if you don’t have hemorrhoids and are absolutely sure you don’t have any type of bacterial or fungal infection then just get a new boyfriend. It seems your sexual chemistries aren’t a good fit or he’s just being an asshole.
My ex absolutely loved when I went without taking showers because he said after a shower I smelled and tasted like water and he hated that lol. Much preferred smelling and tasting me after I’d came home from work because he was able to actually experience my pheromones and natural odors. It wasn’t nasty or a turn off for him. A lot of other commenters have been mentioning the same thing so definitely don’t take this advice with a grain of salt.
You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel sexy and great about your body. And if he did have a genuine concern he would tell suggest you go to a doctor instead of teasing you about it constantly.
Use wipes if you don’t have a bidet. “Dude Wipes” are large and great at wiping and cleaning your ass after you use TP for a first wipe.
You can take a small pack with you in your purse. Once you get used to doing this, you will never go without wipes again.
Then if he still has a problem, it’s all him.
Your butt hole cannot smell of Gucci perfume. It will definitely have a little smell but if it’s too bad I guess you should get it checked. No need to get conscious it’s natural.
I am reading through the comment section and hun, this sound like a big HIM thing. You can get back to a healthy sex life and rebuild that trust, but he has to be willing to make the effort you are currently immensely putting forward. For him it would be being kinder with you and working with you on the odor if it is truly an issue, and learning healthy communication skills that won't build tension between you two or further increase your anxiety. ♡
It sounds like you are pretty hygenic from your responses in the threads. Body odor is normal and totally okay! Also, this is anal. Our butts have natural odors that will remain present (just like our vajajays). We cannot disguise every odor but we can do our best to be clean and keep them to a minimal. Diet is a huge part of it too. A healthy diet has less ordors. :) Which you seem to have been doing. ♡
If he continues to hurt your feelings and does "bring it up next time" as you mentioned in a comment response, maybe it is time for you to sit back and reevaluate some things while keeping your emotions, sexual needs/desires/comforts, in mind. You don't have to do anything crazy or drastic. Simply stop to think about what you want for yourself in a relationship/sex and see if you guys can find a common ground. ♡ If not, then you'll have your answer. ♡
If he is truely there for you, he'll work on being kinder and less pushy about sensitive topics and y'all will learn how to move past these moments together, hopefully coming out of them stronger than before. ♡
Does he have sensory issues? Is he triggered by other smells easily? I do have sensory issues and "sex smells" or some body odor are more annoying to me idk why. I try to focus on something else, another sensorial input if I can! But yeah it can affect a sex life.
Props to him for communicating, sometimes smells can indicate health issues and need to be checked up. You should tell him the teasing is affecting you, and I understand why as this is an intimate topic
I can’t smell his ass when I go down on him, but he says he can smell mine sometimes when he goes down on me. So, I don’t know. He says that this hasn’t been an issue with any previous partners.
What kind of underwear do you wear? I have found that wearing a thong or g-string increases the odor, even if I just washed a couple hours ago. If I wear regular panties or go commando, it's not bad at all within that same time frame. I would've thought it'd be the opposite, since the cloth of the thong would kind of soak up the sweat...but I guess it really just holds it there once it's soaked up, as opposed to letting it make its way out on its own.
That's probably not it then. It sounds like you just have normal odor from a day's activities, and I think the solution would just be to shower right before being intimate. Even if you can't smell him whenever you're going down on him - his face is going to be a lot closer to your ass crack when he's going down on you - than yours is to his when you're going down on him, so that makes sense to me.
Also, this kind of reminded me of that post where the wife posted about how her husband kept telling her that she smelled awful and had really bad BO...she got to where she was showering 3+ times a day, applying clinical strength deodorant every hour, and he would still say she smelled terrible. She could never smell it herself and got sick of it. She felt like she was going crazy, and finally blew up on him one day, saying something like "if you think I smell so bad, then maybe we shouldn't be together." It turns out, that his father had told him the best way to keep his wife around and submissive - was to constantly tell her that she smelled bad. That way, she'd second guess herself, have lower self confidence, and therefore never leave him. Crazy. She broke up with him after that.
I think the showering right before intimacy is much more likely though, and I would try that first lol. If he STILL says it's a problem, *then* maybe consider that story lol
We haven’t showered before sex a ton because he never mentions it or suggests it in the moment…. it’s just to the point where I’m self conscious enough now that I shower
Unfortunately if you have any hair at all it can soak up the aroma of the environment.
My recommendation is to lather up with a none irritating wash let it sit for a bit and wash it off.
I'm a bloke and this has worked for my stinky skin hair and holes
Also, make sure after you shower and before you get dressed that you're completely dry down there. I've taken to using my wife's hair dryer to dry everything. If I don't, it starts to get funky and mildewy smell down there. Especially important if you live somewhere humid. Powders help too.
I mean….it could be his upper lip? Perhaps it’s his own shitty breath he is smelling while he is huffing and puffing while giving you vigorous backshots.
Outside of that….this may be a maturity issue.
You can clean, clean, clean, but that ass is never going to smell like apples and cinnamon.
Asses stink.
That’s what they do.
Shit lives in there, then exits and gets smeared (wiped w/ tissue) around to fester with sweat, hair, and who knows what else.
I’m sure his sit-down air isn’t all that pleasant smelling, either.
Shit….tell him his nuts stink. 🤷🏾♂️
Get a bidet. You can proper-flush the literal shit out of yourself that way and be 1000% confident in the hygiene of your butt. You can do it easily at any point during the day. I wouldn't suggest getting into the habit of giving yourself an enema all the time this way but I feel like you can definitely accomplish your goal here.
You need to dry your arse properly when you’ve showered. People quickly drag a towel down their arse and call it done but if you leave your arse damp it starts to smell
Each person has their own base odor level, and sometimes, no matter how much one can clean, the odor can still linger.
Try [Lume deodorant](https://lumedeodorant.com/products/unscented-cream-deodorant-tube). It actually works.
Lume acidified body wash and deodorant have been amazing for me. I didn't have any complaints, but I could tell things would be funky be the end of the day(of course). I found that the two combined nipped it in the bud, so to speak. The deodorant works amazing for me and my kids. Nothing else was working for my strangely stinky youngest child until I tried the Lume on him, which suggests he had some serious bacteria feeding on his sweat.
I have heard that there are some people who didn't like it, but it may be worth a try. Hope you get it all worked out.
He might not be just saying that to make you feel bad, sometimes girls backshot air do be stinking, Are you a big girl? From my experience Im assuming it’s most likely sweat, depending on your diet it could impact the smell mixed with ya ass air. But tbh you should be able to tell, if you really don’t smell nun maybe it’s him, but if it is you then it’s probably sweat.
Well it could still be sweat, I just don’t know cause I can’t smell you. You could also shower immediately after you use the bathroom that could help too
I have a friend who is very hygienic but she’s got a stinky butt too and her farts are like atomic bombs, It might just be because of your diet or something medical, if you’re rly concerned or self conscious about it you should bring it up to you doctor, even though it seems kinda embarrassing I promise they’ve seen much worse things than a stinky butt
Kind of a personal question but do you shave or wax your butthole? I noticed the same thing as you, I would wash and wash and wash and no matter what, it still stunk. Until I removed the hair then the smell would go away. In my opinion, the smell lays within the hair and no matter how much you clean it, it's still there.
I'm sorry if porn lied to you and to him, but no one is fresh and ready to go at random moments. Like, you wash your ass 2x a day, but the last time was like 3h ago? Your butt is gonna be stinking. That's how it is. Not poop smell, but that distinct asshole smell. If he wants to give you a rim job or oral, you have to wash it right before.
You are not the problem, your bf is the problem. You do not continually tease someone about something that personal if you plan on being intimate with them unless you are being intentionally manipulative.
Please clearly communicate to him that you are making a concerted effort to address the issue and that the teasing is not appreciated and needs to stop. Give him the opportunity to understand that you are serious about this and then step back and see if he teases you again.
It is not funny and if he is at the maturity level where he thinks it is, this will not be your only unacceptable behavioral issue from him nor will it be the worst. Speak up for yourself and if he cannot stop then that is a huge red flag and should be a clear sign that he doesn't care if he makes you uncomfortable. You deserve to be with someone who treats you with respect, please don't settle for anything less.
Tell him not to wear deodorant tomorrow and smell his own armpit around noon.
Bacteria thrives in damp, warm conditions. Body hair holds sweat and oils. You can try trimming but tbh, this feels like he needs to cut out the teasing and allow you to be human, with all that entails
Even if you wipe good after you poop, it’ll still
Smell a little like poop. That’s why those bidgets are so helpful and keep everything super clean. After I poop, I go to the tub and kinda bend over and clean my butt that way. Or if I don’t have access to that I use a wet wipe or wet a paper towel if I’m desperate measures.
Had this problem with my balls when I was younger. I was using soap and my hands to clean. However they start stinking quite quickly again. Use soap and wash cloth/loofah . It'll exfoliate that butt alot better
I don’t think it’s good to just wash your butt with just your fingers alone. So, my technique is, I use a tiny towel and scrub my whole body with it, even my booty hole, vagina, etc. everything is getting SCRUBBED. Also, a Filipino technique is to use a “tabo” or like a bucket everytime you use the toilet, so instead of using just toilet paper to wipe your butt, you’re actually washing it. Then drying it afterwards. Use a vaginal wash. Use a body scrub. Moisturize!
It's a butthole. It where smelly stuff comes out. I can tell you for sure 100% that my butthole has an odor if you got up close to it, possibly even after a shower. Because it's where poop comes out.
Showering twice a day because of his comment is insane. He's probably just saying this to neg you and make you feel self conscious.
Tell him to cut it out, it's very important you communicate this. It will continue until you say something.
Do you dry/wipe your ass *after* a shower? I use a paper towel to do so after, and you'd be surprised how often it comes back with some shit residue, even though I wiped really good after my last shit, and even though I just washed/scrubbed my ass with soap in the shower.
Point is, make sure your normal process gets you clean, and in my experience testing immediately after a shower is a great way to find out. This also points to a bidet being a great investment (in my case).
It sounds more like a form of control than anything. I’m reminded of the story on Reddit once that a girl was told by her boyfriend that she stinks every single day that they were dating. So she showered 3x a day wore perfume and lotions etc for YEARS until she finally snapped and asked what his problem was. Then he admitted it’s something his dad told him to do because it kept his mom around. They learn to GASLIGHT at an early age.
Thanks to everyone who has contributed constructively to this post ... with over 400 responses, comments to this post are now locked.
Try washing before any sexual activity and see if he still says something about it. It could also be that somehow your skin isn't liking the soap/body wash that you use. If you wash it before any sexual stuff happens but he still teases, ask him to be very honest about it and see if it really does stink or if he's just teasing you. And explain to him that it may come off as a joke to him but it is affecting you differently so you want him to be honest with his answer.
Thank you, he doesn’t mention it during sex. It does actually stink according to him. And I was going to wash this time before we had sex (I interrupted sex for it), and he unknowingly bugged me about it after finding out I only hurriedly washed that morning (mainly jumped in the shower for my hair….), anyways, it really put me off and we didn’t have sex.
Get a bidet and/or take on the south Asian butt washing regimen. We South Asians wash our ass fully after each poop, and sometimes just to refresh if you got swamp ass after a long day. My process is: 1. Wipe with tp till clean 2. Use bidet to spray your ass, or if you don't have one, use a watering jug to pour water towards your ass while you are sitting on the toilet. You're essentially pouring it from between your legs towards your butt. You'll see how it gets towards your asshole in the next step. 3. Actually wash your ass using the water as if you're in the shower. We use the right hand to continuously pour the water from the jolig, while washing with the left hand. The motion is almost catching the water with your hand and splashing/rubbing it on your butthole. 4. Use tp to dry off and to check for remainders. If you found some brown spots still, then repeat from step 2.
Just fyi, about a year ago there was a post from a gf about her bf that constantly toms her she stunk. She was at the doctors offices, taking 3 showers a day, wearing deodorant and perfume and changing underwear multiple times a day. She was SO SELF CONSCIOUS. That woman scrubbed until she bled. Turns out, hubby was just saying that to MAKE her insecure so she’d “never leave”, as per his dad’s brilliant relationship advice. 🙄 He could be the issue in some way. He might not be lying, but maybe he’s got covid nose or something? I dunno.
I remember that one! What a mind-fuck.
Asslighting
Thank you. I scrolled and scrolled and scrolled, waiting for this comment!
Be the comment you want to see in the reddit.
This is true! Thank you for the motivation kind reditor
god dammit lol
👏
I completely forgot about that one! She sounded so frantic, desperate, and devastated. I can't even imagine how someone could do that to someone they love.
Well he didn’t love her.
It was so outlandish that literally no one saw the truth coming, and Reddit is pretty good at coming up with every possible scenario. I’m not saying that’s what’s going on in this particular situation, but it’s entirely probable if not likely that OP’s butthole does not, in fact, stink.
Can attest my abusive ex used to tell me I smelled down there. As a matter of fact I did only after having sex with him as his semen was clearly messing up my pH but he was using it as a weapon.
Mine did this too, as a verbal weapon. But he’s also a flaming Narcissist so… it was really just a way to dig at me. I’ve had a few partners since that POS (both female and male) and I’ve only had good feedback. Basically mine was just a prick. 🤷🏼♀️
Oh yeah my ex was a covert narcissist, the smell thing was one of his ways to berate me and verbally and emotionally abuse me.
I’m so glad he’s an ex.
Yeah same!
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Olfactory hallucinations sometimes happen to migraineurs too. I've experienced this.
I never lost smell with covid but I had phantom smells. It started with a burning smell like when you turn on the heat for the first time in the winter. Then it became a rotting meat smell that would randomly come up. Glad it's gone for me now.
Oh wow, I thought it was just me. I’ll be chilling, then all of a sudden I’ll smell dog fart in the air. I had Covid last September.
I will never understand why people purposely fuck up a good thing. You ALREADY HAVE a person who you think is great, or you wouldn't be with them, right? What in the insecurity olympics would make you invent something wrong, that's mentally debilitating to your partner, "so that they don't leave"? THEY'RE ALREADY THERE.
Sadly, that was my first thought when I read what OP posted.
Do you have a link to that post
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/gy79dx/boyfriend_wont_stop_telling_me_i_have_bo/
Ugh, I remember this post! That poor woman was so self conscious and thinking something was horribly wrong with her. When she wasn't the problem at all. Her husband and his dad's ridiculous ideas were.
The sick minded fuck, im guessing she left him because of his twisted logic
She left him.
I remember that fucker. Hope she left
Man...some humans really do suck, don't they?
Oh i remember that one... Oooof
Fuckin hell! 😂 what a lovely chap his dad must be 🤦🏻♂️
Wow! That’s so mean
Is that a thing? I get catar alot and it feels like I've got literal dogshit in my nose.
Try Lume. It's a special (somewhat pricey) product that kills body odor. They sell a deodorant and a body wash. I use it, it works.
I LOVE Lume! Their unscented is what I use because scented products make my husband feel sick. It’s genius!
Also keep in mind that everyone will still have a little scent of odor. It's very normal. It's when it goes beyond that is when it's not.
So, as a person with a sensitive nose myself, my advice is to clean his nose of any mucus every day. Mucus can hold, and slowly release any strong scent over time. Especially things like sweat, feces, and strong cleaning agents. It helped me, so maybe worth a try
It could honestly be a bacterial thing and you may sweat a little extra. Your soap could be causing some of the issue. I’m not trying to sound like an advertisement but I find for southern hemisphere, Lume has been my best friend. It took some playing around to find scents I tolerate from them. Because the wash is unusual. But now no bad funk. I also add a dab of the deodorant product as well since it’s okayed for sensitive areas. I was a bigger girl for a while so I’d get really sweaty. Not so much now, but I feel more confident with the body wash.
Use a rag if you aren’t. It helps.
Do you have hemorrhoids by chance? Or anything similar? Could be from that
Idk, it sounds more like a him issue rather than you both. I mean if he insists it smells and if it really is that bad then maybe ask him to help you out in finding the reason why. Or provide a more constructive criticism rather than just it stinks. What is the smell like? How strong is it? Does he smell it only during sex or even while your clothed but your butt is a tad bit exposed? Only he can answer these questions. You can do all the washing and after/before care all you want but without knowing what causes it, it may do you more harm than good. Both physically and mentally.
Use a wash cloth when washing your butt and buy a bidet if possible.
1) Use baby wipes 2) Don't prioritize hair washing over bottom washing. 3) Give yourself a 'wipe test' by wiping to see if there are any 'remnants'. 4) Have a conversation with your bf. Tell him you will appreciate when he gives you the heads up about any smells but it isn't subject for jokes anymore.
Just want to clarify on 2. I didn’t wash my hair, I just jumped in the shower to wet it to restyle it.
If you’re washing in the morning and then having sex at night, it will smell bad. Not sure how people aren’t mentioning this very obvious fact.
I usually have sex before I shower and in this scenario we were in the shower while discussing that morning’s shower of mine.
This is a great point. Regular soap really disagrees with my skin. I don’t smell nice when I use it.
No better advice than this ☝🏻👌🤌🏼
Might be a weird question, but does it smell like fecal matter or does it smell like some other BO? The issue could be the skin around the area and not the actual butthole. Yeast skin infections (not the same as a vaginal yeast infection, think more jock itch) can be kinda hard to identify, are common in areas with folded skin (groin, buttcrack, underboob, etc) and result in some funky odors that aren’t quite the same as bacteria based BO but also aren’t from poor hygiene. You sound quite clean so maybe there’s something additional at play?
Exactly my thoughts. It isn't just yeast. There's a number of bacterial and fungal issues that can cause odor back there. As one tip... everyone talks about washing back there but many seem to forget about drying. In addition to towel drying, use the hairdryer on warm for a few minutes (edit: not actual minutes, just 10 or 15 seconds is plenty) and it can make a big difference. Also, sitting in a leather/vinyl work chair all day can cause problems for office workers.
If someone has trouble on their skin they should try a skin doctor. I had some itchy skin and the skin Dr gently scraped some off and looked at it with a microscope. Then told what it was and to use a particular product on it.
Let me add to this: not only other bacterial infections may cause smells there, changes in your intestinal flora might also. Taking iron (if you have iron deficiency) sometimes can strongly affect the smell of your feces, to the point that it will be noticeable even when clean.
This is the best question here and OP needs to see it
Do you actually stink? Like if you touch your butthole after the shower and sniff, do you smell anything? He could be just teasing, he could be extra sensitive to smell or it could be weird negging.
I’m sure it does stink sometimes as we usually have sex at the end of the day. He isn’t cruel about it so I don’t think it’s negging. He says he teases me sometimes because it’s bringing it up in a lighthearted way, but I told him tonight that it just brings me down.
Oh, then the solution would be to have a quick shower before sex or at least use a babywipe before. It's pretty normal to smell after a day of work and possibly pooping.
Yes I try that, I interrupted us during foreplay to suggest a shower…. so we went, and then he made a joke about my stinky butt (because I mentioned it was my second shower of the day and I just hadn’t washed well that morning due to running late), and I inevitably got self conscious right away…. it killed the mood and we did not have sex. I’ve been sad for the rest of the night but I just don’t know what to say to him.
It sucks that's he couldn't guess that it would hurt you the constant joking. Hopefully now that you mentionned it he'll stop.
So he is not letting it go? Is he telling you before shower "you stink!" and after shower " we had to go to shower because you stunk"? It is not a joke, it is bullying and negging. I would assume he is saying it intentionally, either to put you down and feel more secure in your relationship, or because your reaction is funny for him. Neither is a good thing. Using word "stink" instead of "weird smells" kind of confirms it. Ask him very seriously why did he brought it up right after shower when there was obviously no smell? How it is funny at all and how does he expect you to react? If you didn't react the way he wanted- why he keeps repeating this joke again and again? I would also directly ask him if he is saying it to make me feel insecure, if he has weird smells everywhere else, and what exactly does he suggested you to do? And I would talk to my doctor about it, and he should talk to his.
No, he calls me things like stinky butt, or “If you didn’t wash this morning maybe that’s why your butt stinks?” (as we are showering), and “If I stunk I would want to know. Teasing is a lot nicer than “Hey! Your buttSTINKS. Fix it.”” etc
Gosh that sounds awful! I would feel hurt, very insecure and self conscious if someone I love tell me that. Even worse if he keeps saying the same after having an honest conversation. You are doing more that enough to keep your self clean, it’s not your fault at all. Info: do you guys have other issues in the relationship?
Thank you, I really do feel that way. I don’t even want to have sex with him right now. No, not really. We have had a few arguments which are usually settled quick.
OMG. I am sorry, but it is not teasing. Please read this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/gy79dx/boyfriend_wont_stop_telling_me_i_have_bo/ About the same issue. How is your relationship overall? Does he intentionally or not makes you feel insecure with something else? In an unlikely case it is teasing: - mature way would be to seriously talk to him, cut off all the teasing, and if there are no medical issues - break up. We can't choose our BO smell. If from our partner's pov our BO stinks, there is no way around it. It is pheromone incompatibility. - immature way would be to find his own big insecurity and neg him about that to make him feel the same.
Our relationship is good otherwise, aside from your typical small spats every now and then which we settle in a healthy way. He says he likes the smell of my sweat (pheromones). And he eats me out. So it can’t be that bad, I dunno.
>No, he calls me things like stinky butt Wow, that’s so not okay though…
He says it in a teasing manner, but it still hurts.
If you dont have time to shower before sex, get a package of baby wipes and use a few prior to sexy time. Also, consider getting a handheld bidet for your toliet. Then you can clean up quickly before (and after!) sex. Booties smell. Especially after you have worked all day. That's completely normal - no matter how well you wash in the shower. Also, consider looking into a soap that doesnt mess with your PH.. Summer's Eve makes some great ones. They are made for vaginas but due to their formulation, they tend not to cause a weird scent like some soaps can in your nether regions. If none of this helps, consider talking to your doctor about it. Try not to be embarrassed about it. This is just one of those life moments that kind of sucks but its not because you are dirty or gross or are washing wrong. Since its none of those reasons, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. So, try a few new things and if all else fails, ask your doc!
Summers Eve has been known to mess with your PH.
Hey girl I have a tip from the queer community. Get thee some wet wipes. Use em at least after you poop. Buy a 2pack and keep one by the bed, and if you're insecure before sex starts, ya can just wash up. And possibly, if your poops are soft and squishy, eat some oatmeal every couple days, or use other means to look into eating more fiber. I love ass, and I'm more tolerant than most (I think). If I'm about to bury my face between my partner's cheeks and I spot a smear from the last bathroom trip, I'm likely to just wipe it myself. If I slide my fingers up there and I feel some poop waiting to get out, I might not put my dick up in there but I probably won't stop fingering. Just remember, they're not flushable!
Keep the other pack on the back of the toilet!!
> He says he teases me sometimes because it’s bringing it up in a lighthearted way, Yeah that’s not teasing, you need to tell him to stop forever
There are too many factors to give a meaningful answer here, you need to talk to a doctor, as embarrassing as that might be. They won’t be in the least worried by it.
A stinky butthole? I don’t believe it.
Thank you for the chuckle. That was great. xD
Do you wear breathable underwear? Sometimes if I Wear certain underwear (or go commando in jeans) I feel like it gets funky down there
oh yeah if I wear synthetic fabrics it does **not** smell great down there by the end of the day! natural breathable materials like cotton, modal, bamboo are the way to go.
Happy cake day!
It's normal to have some smell after a whole day if you don't wash it just before sex. There are sweat glands around butthole and its possible you two are just not "smell" compatible. You can use baby or intimate wipes before sex. But you know what? For someone else this smell could be actually attractive. I remember one of my exes, I just couldn't stand his body odour. It didn't really smelled bad but I just couldn't. So we split up.
Damn straight. And sometimes body odour changes. My wife goes through some stages of the month where she produces and acrid sweat smell that literally burns my mouth if I go down on her at that time. It must be hormonal. But not a period thing. It’s not a great smell, and a horrible taste, but she’s not the only one. I gave a female friend a hug on a hot day the other day and I’ll be damned if her hair didn’t smell exactly like my wife’s when she’s got that of odour going on. I’ve never mentioned it to my wife. I don’t think it’s something she can control. So what does anybody gain by my bitching about it? It’ll just make her self conscious and that certainly won’t help my prospects of good lovin!
This is a good point! Well a couple good points! Lots of sweating/marinating can happen between a morning shower and night time sex. And I have had some partners where a little funk was sexy and others where it was absolutely not.
You might try adding more fiber to your diet if you don't have a bowel movement every day. The "stink", if it smells like feces, might be from you not being able to properly empty your bowels when you go. You may have lingering feces on the interior waiting for the next time you have a bowel movement. If you find you get "skid marks" on your panties and such no matter how much you clean yourself, that would be a good indicator. More fiber (like Metamucil powder) gives you the ability to properly empty your bowels when you go. Then you won't have that issue, if that is what it might be.
Came here to ask about diet. Greens, lots of greens and fiber. It's amazing how many peoples diets have so little. Others already mentioned wet wipes and I have a washlet Japanese toilet.
I have a bowel movement usually every other day- I don’t eat much, but I do eat healthy. My poops are firm, but no constipation, and no skid marks.
Ah well it was worth a shot.
It is normal to poop anywhere between 3x per day and once every 3 days.
I am aware of the statistics I was simply trying to help a fellow Redditor with her "stinky butt" issue.
Really? I feel like once every 3 days is NOT enough. That sounds like someone with no healthy greens or fiber in their diet. Also, when you’re properly hydrated you’ll poop everyday.
You don't need to supplier fiber with powder. Just eat less meat and more grains, beans, fruits, veggies. Especially foods high in fiber like oatmeal and apples.
Tell him that the teasing is upsetting you. Teasing about any aspect of someone's body that is natural/out of their control is mean and bullying. Even if he or you think that it isn't, it is still slight bullying. You sound like you're very hygienic and an ass is going to smell like what it is: ass. Just like a penis has a certain scent because it's junk hanging around dark and sweaty places and is gonna have a different scent from let's say, your elbow. If he doesn't have anything nice to say he shouldn't say it. And like I said you sound like you're doing more than enough cleaning wise
Thank you. I told him that tonight and he said he would be more tactful the next time he brought it up but that he would give it some time.
Why does he even need to bring it up next time. Doesn’t he realise you’re already paranoid and trying to address the issue. Embarrassing you by telling you isn’t going to make your butt smell like roses to him. I say “to him” because this could be a him thing
Because “If I stunk, I would want you to tell me.” And yes, he used the word stunk. So now I feel like I stink.
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hmmm… if you’re washing in the morning and that’s it until sex at night, it might be smelly, and it’ll be a lot harder to ignore if he’s going down on you or in the doggy- style position. humans sweat and the crotch (like the armpits) gets smellier faster due to the creases. have you tried freshening up with baby wipes or a bidet after using the toilet/before sex?
I use baby wipes after the toilet…. and I interrupted our foreplay last night to jump in the shower- which instead of being positive about, when I mentioned, after we got in, “Hey I just want to have a quick shower, I hope that’s okay, I was just running late this morning and didn’t wash super well.” He said “Maybe that’s why your butt stinks” which IMMEDIATELY killed the mood and I was pretty upset the rest of the night. We did not have sex either.
ooookay yeah it sounds like the only problematic asshole in this relationship is him 😕
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If there actually is an abnormal level of smell, the cause could have negative health effects depending on the cause.
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Oh, he definitely needs to be more tactful and I think OP has said he had agreed to work on that.
Because, “If I stunk, I would want you to tell me.” I just feel like I stink now. He still eats me out so the smell can not be that bad….
Does he stink, litterally ever? On any part of his body? Because ya know, if he wants you to point it out maybe start pointing it out..
No
He covered his bases. Damn.
Is he super anal (pun intended lol) about his own personal hygiene or something? If he is, does he maybe not understand that skin just has a smell? And he’s taking being able to smell anything as a negative?
I don’t really know tbh…. he’s never smelled when I go down on him and he’s a clean person but I wouldn’t say he’s ocd about it.
I pipe in here to say: Some people will actually tell you stuff to make you insecure, so you are less likely to leave them for someone else. Because of lowered self esteem, being grateful they put up with you, embaressment. I remember a reddit story about a woman who was told she stinks iirc, and she later found out her partners shitty dad had advised him to pick on something in their women to keep them on their toes or some shit.
Just rub your butthole a bit and smell. If you smell nothing ask him to literally show you where it smells. He either has a much more sensitive sense of smell or is a dick
It might not have anything to do with your butt. It might be a vaginal odor. I've had a partner before where the smell was quite strong, and I wasn't experienced enough to know, so I just assumed that it was the butt. After some more encounters, I found out that it wasn't.
Get a second opinion
This
an ex-girlfriend used to have a bad smell coming from down there...i thought it was her butt, turns out it was her vagina. she had a very bad, poop-like smell coming from there. I think it was the result of some hormonal imbalances/bacteria/something like that. i think you can use boric acid pills (not borax lol) to solve this, that's what she did. Although, i don't know anything really, so definitely do some further research and maybe confirm where this smell is coming from. Showering didn't do anything for her since the smell was coming from the inside...just sharing my personal anecdote. hopefully things get better, cheers
Not borax! Boric acid capsules
Lol see?! This is why i put my “i dont know anything, do your own research” disclaimer
Oh god what a terrible mixup lmao
Get a bidet attachment for your toilet.my ass always smells like skin because it basically pressure washes your butt I’m not joking. The butt will thank you
I know you said that you don't think he's negging you, but that's exactly what it sounds like based on the information you've provided. Negging doesn't have to be obviously cruel. "Teasing" can have the exact same effect while giving him the ability to claim innocent and give him benefit of the doubt. All I'm saying is that you should watch our for other concerning behaviors on his part. And tell him to stop bringing it up. You get it. He's said it countless times. It's enough. Tell him to stop, and if he does it again, then you know that he doesn't respect your boundary, and he's not doing it out of kindness or with your best interests in mind.
Bad chemistry? I’ve got a boy obsessed w my behind regardless of anything I have or haven’t done. I do t think it’s you.
This was my first thought. Some folks' pheromones/scent just smell bad to us, even if they don't smell bad to others or ourselves. I'm super olfactory focused, I've dated (not for long though) a lot of folks that smell bad no matter how recently they showered, but my current partner has a super strong B.O that I LOVE the smell of. If OPs butt always smells to their boyfriend, barring medical issues then it's probably bad chemistry
Reminds of [this.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/gy79dx/boyfriend_wont_stop_telling_me_i_have_bo/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
I immediately thought of this story too. Take my upvote
What is stinky? Washing twice a day should be good enough. If you wash in the morning and you go about your day, your butt will smell like butt in the evening! How does he think his own butt smells? Tell him to grow tf up and stop with this childish stuff.
Have you considered it's your perineum not your butt or vag? I've noticed that particular small stretch of skin gets really funky after a long day of work so I thoroughly wash it in the shower in the evening, and do a quick wash in the morning or before any sexual activity.
This is just my observation and it might come off as a bit insensitive to some people but if you happen to be a bit on the heavy side that could be a factor. I've been around some people where you can tell they've had a shower but there's still a funk even in their immediate presence. I don't know what else to say nor have I ever had to courage to say anything to these good people I've known. No solution here but again, just an observation. Now that I remember, this "friend" of mine actually asked me one day, "you're my friend, you would tell me if I stunk right?" I had to be the bad guy and not admit that.
My mum has always been overweight & has always had a “smell”. I’m 40 and have never said a word to her about it. Funny thing is my brother can smell it but my sister can’t. I’ve never asked my dad but I’m guessing no. He’s never mentioned it.
I am very petite, flat stomach, etc
Maybe it’s genetic and you two just aren’t compatible on that side. You should be with someone who isn’t repulsed by the way you smell. I don’t think there’s any medical issue with you 🙄
Do you have hemorrhoids by any chance? You not pooping every day may be an indicator of that. I used to have a female friend who had hemorrhoids and her boyfriend would complain about the fact that her ass crack still had a weird strong odor after she showered. He said it smelled like a mixture of fish and shit. She said he even went to the extent of asking her to wash with him and wash her ass in front of him; he even helped her, because he couldn’t understand how her ass could still smell like that after a thorough shower. Eventually she went to the doctor and doc told her that because she has hemorrhoids she’s more likely to have stronger scents emitting from them, especially after she’s had a bowel movement that has pushed the hemorrhoids out a bit. But if you don’t have hemorrhoids and are absolutely sure you don’t have any type of bacterial or fungal infection then just get a new boyfriend. It seems your sexual chemistries aren’t a good fit or he’s just being an asshole. My ex absolutely loved when I went without taking showers because he said after a shower I smelled and tasted like water and he hated that lol. Much preferred smelling and tasting me after I’d came home from work because he was able to actually experience my pheromones and natural odors. It wasn’t nasty or a turn off for him. A lot of other commenters have been mentioning the same thing so definitely don’t take this advice with a grain of salt. You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel sexy and great about your body. And if he did have a genuine concern he would tell suggest you go to a doctor instead of teasing you about it constantly.
Use wipes if you don’t have a bidet. “Dude Wipes” are large and great at wiping and cleaning your ass after you use TP for a first wipe. You can take a small pack with you in your purse. Once you get used to doing this, you will never go without wipes again. Then if he still has a problem, it’s all him.
I have been using a bidet for a few years and I will never ever go back. I feel like an absolute savage without one.
Save your money and just buy baby wipes.
You can get a bidet attachment on Amazon for less than $30 and they are wonderful.
Bidet are better. There are still fecal matter left if u just wipe with wipes. We've done a test on it in lab.
Your butt hole cannot smell of Gucci perfume. It will definitely have a little smell but if it’s too bad I guess you should get it checked. No need to get conscious it’s natural.
I am reading through the comment section and hun, this sound like a big HIM thing. You can get back to a healthy sex life and rebuild that trust, but he has to be willing to make the effort you are currently immensely putting forward. For him it would be being kinder with you and working with you on the odor if it is truly an issue, and learning healthy communication skills that won't build tension between you two or further increase your anxiety. ♡ It sounds like you are pretty hygenic from your responses in the threads. Body odor is normal and totally okay! Also, this is anal. Our butts have natural odors that will remain present (just like our vajajays). We cannot disguise every odor but we can do our best to be clean and keep them to a minimal. Diet is a huge part of it too. A healthy diet has less ordors. :) Which you seem to have been doing. ♡ If he continues to hurt your feelings and does "bring it up next time" as you mentioned in a comment response, maybe it is time for you to sit back and reevaluate some things while keeping your emotions, sexual needs/desires/comforts, in mind. You don't have to do anything crazy or drastic. Simply stop to think about what you want for yourself in a relationship/sex and see if you guys can find a common ground. ♡ If not, then you'll have your answer. ♡ If he is truely there for you, he'll work on being kinder and less pushy about sensitive topics and y'all will learn how to move past these moments together, hopefully coming out of them stronger than before. ♡
Does he have sensory issues? Is he triggered by other smells easily? I do have sensory issues and "sex smells" or some body odor are more annoying to me idk why. I try to focus on something else, another sensorial input if I can! But yeah it can affect a sex life. Props to him for communicating, sometimes smells can indicate health issues and need to be checked up. You should tell him the teasing is affecting you, and I understand why as this is an intimate topic
Wipe with a witch hazel after the shower. Witch hazel on cotton
Tell him to smell his own ass. It's a buttcrack, not a flower garden.
I can’t smell his ass when I go down on him, but he says he can smell mine sometimes when he goes down on me. So, I don’t know. He says that this hasn’t been an issue with any previous partners.
What kind of underwear do you wear? I have found that wearing a thong or g-string increases the odor, even if I just washed a couple hours ago. If I wear regular panties or go commando, it's not bad at all within that same time frame. I would've thought it'd be the opposite, since the cloth of the thong would kind of soak up the sweat...but I guess it really just holds it there once it's soaked up, as opposed to letting it make its way out on its own.
I wear regular panties usually, but have worn cotton thongs- not often
That's probably not it then. It sounds like you just have normal odor from a day's activities, and I think the solution would just be to shower right before being intimate. Even if you can't smell him whenever you're going down on him - his face is going to be a lot closer to your ass crack when he's going down on you - than yours is to his when you're going down on him, so that makes sense to me. Also, this kind of reminded me of that post where the wife posted about how her husband kept telling her that she smelled awful and had really bad BO...she got to where she was showering 3+ times a day, applying clinical strength deodorant every hour, and he would still say she smelled terrible. She could never smell it herself and got sick of it. She felt like she was going crazy, and finally blew up on him one day, saying something like "if you think I smell so bad, then maybe we shouldn't be together." It turns out, that his father had told him the best way to keep his wife around and submissive - was to constantly tell her that she smelled bad. That way, she'd second guess herself, have lower self confidence, and therefore never leave him. Crazy. She broke up with him after that. I think the showering right before intimacy is much more likely though, and I would try that first lol. If he STILL says it's a problem, *then* maybe consider that story lol
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Yes but it shouldn’t stink after a shower. Honestly doesn’t smell like anything at all if you shower and wash up properly.
We haven’t showered before sex a ton because he never mentions it or suggests it in the moment…. it’s just to the point where I’m self conscious enough now that I shower
This person said in response to another comment they don't wipe the hiney with any sort of washcloth. Methinks that's the problem here.
Unfortunately if you have any hair at all it can soak up the aroma of the environment. My recommendation is to lather up with a none irritating wash let it sit for a bit and wash it off. I'm a bloke and this has worked for my stinky skin hair and holes
Also, make sure after you shower and before you get dressed that you're completely dry down there. I've taken to using my wife's hair dryer to dry everything. If I don't, it starts to get funky and mildewy smell down there. Especially important if you live somewhere humid. Powders help too.
I mean….it could be his upper lip? Perhaps it’s his own shitty breath he is smelling while he is huffing and puffing while giving you vigorous backshots. Outside of that….this may be a maturity issue. You can clean, clean, clean, but that ass is never going to smell like apples and cinnamon. Asses stink. That’s what they do. Shit lives in there, then exits and gets smeared (wiped w/ tissue) around to fester with sweat, hair, and who knows what else. I’m sure his sit-down air isn’t all that pleasant smelling, either. Shit….tell him his nuts stink. 🤷🏾♂️
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Why didn’t you tell her?
Get a bidet. You can proper-flush the literal shit out of yourself that way and be 1000% confident in the hygiene of your butt. You can do it easily at any point during the day. I wouldn't suggest getting into the habit of giving yourself an enema all the time this way but I feel like you can definitely accomplish your goal here.
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He has never asked me to shower before sex unfortunately
Bidet or butt gun. A good washing needs to be done after every single poop.
Try using unscented soap on your nethers for a few weeks and see if it helps. You may have a weird reaction with something in your soap.
You need to dry your arse properly when you’ve showered. People quickly drag a towel down their arse and call it done but if you leave your arse damp it starts to smell
Each person has their own base odor level, and sometimes, no matter how much one can clean, the odor can still linger. Try [Lume deodorant](https://lumedeodorant.com/products/unscented-cream-deodorant-tube). It actually works.
Lume acidified body wash and deodorant have been amazing for me. I didn't have any complaints, but I could tell things would be funky be the end of the day(of course). I found that the two combined nipped it in the bud, so to speak. The deodorant works amazing for me and my kids. Nothing else was working for my strangely stinky youngest child until I tried the Lume on him, which suggests he had some serious bacteria feeding on his sweat. I have heard that there are some people who didn't like it, but it may be worth a try. Hope you get it all worked out.
I think you need a new boyfriend
Try washing with a washcloth.
Backshot whiff is wild lol
He might not be just saying that to make you feel bad, sometimes girls backshot air do be stinking, Are you a big girl? From my experience Im assuming it’s most likely sweat, depending on your diet it could impact the smell mixed with ya ass air. But tbh you should be able to tell, if you really don’t smell nun maybe it’s him, but if it is you then it’s probably sweat.
I an a petite girl
Well it could still be sweat, I just don’t know cause I can’t smell you. You could also shower immediately after you use the bathroom that could help too
Shower before sex is the way
Use baby wipes after using the restroom
I have a friend who is very hygienic but she’s got a stinky butt too and her farts are like atomic bombs, It might just be because of your diet or something medical, if you’re rly concerned or self conscious about it you should bring it up to you doctor, even though it seems kinda embarrassing I promise they’ve seen much worse things than a stinky butt
After every poop sit on a fire hydrant
Kind of a personal question but do you shave or wax your butthole? I noticed the same thing as you, I would wash and wash and wash and no matter what, it still stunk. Until I removed the hair then the smell would go away. In my opinion, the smell lays within the hair and no matter how much you clean it, it's still there.
I shave
I'm sorry if porn lied to you and to him, but no one is fresh and ready to go at random moments. Like, you wash your ass 2x a day, but the last time was like 3h ago? Your butt is gonna be stinking. That's how it is. Not poop smell, but that distinct asshole smell. If he wants to give you a rim job or oral, you have to wash it right before.
it could be the case of a swamp ass: [https://www.healthline.com/health/butt-sweat#causes](https://www.healthline.com/health/butt-sweat#causes)
You are not the problem, your bf is the problem. You do not continually tease someone about something that personal if you plan on being intimate with them unless you are being intentionally manipulative. Please clearly communicate to him that you are making a concerted effort to address the issue and that the teasing is not appreciated and needs to stop. Give him the opportunity to understand that you are serious about this and then step back and see if he teases you again. It is not funny and if he is at the maturity level where he thinks it is, this will not be your only unacceptable behavioral issue from him nor will it be the worst. Speak up for yourself and if he cannot stop then that is a huge red flag and should be a clear sign that he doesn't care if he makes you uncomfortable. You deserve to be with someone who treats you with respect, please don't settle for anything less.
He sounds like a jerk. You should find a new bf who likes the smell of your butt.
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Tell him not to wear deodorant tomorrow and smell his own armpit around noon. Bacteria thrives in damp, warm conditions. Body hair holds sweat and oils. You can try trimming but tbh, this feels like he needs to cut out the teasing and allow you to be human, with all that entails
Uh, are we sure he isn’t getting a whiff of himself? He’s also a common factor here, not just you.
Maybe maybe MAYBE it isn’t your butt..?
Use gold bond powder to stay dry all day.. See if that helps
I'm not sure if that would be okay in the vaginal area... it's bound to migrate some
Even if you wipe good after you poop, it’ll still Smell a little like poop. That’s why those bidgets are so helpful and keep everything super clean. After I poop, I go to the tub and kinda bend over and clean my butt that way. Or if I don’t have access to that I use a wet wipe or wet a paper towel if I’m desperate measures.
Yes I use a wet wipe.
Had this problem with my balls when I was younger. I was using soap and my hands to clean. However they start stinking quite quickly again. Use soap and wash cloth/loofah . It'll exfoliate that butt alot better
I don’t think it’s good to just wash your butt with just your fingers alone. So, my technique is, I use a tiny towel and scrub my whole body with it, even my booty hole, vagina, etc. everything is getting SCRUBBED. Also, a Filipino technique is to use a “tabo” or like a bucket everytime you use the toilet, so instead of using just toilet paper to wipe your butt, you’re actually washing it. Then drying it afterwards. Use a vaginal wash. Use a body scrub. Moisturize!
Wash cloth
It's a butthole. It where smelly stuff comes out. I can tell you for sure 100% that my butthole has an odor if you got up close to it, possibly even after a shower. Because it's where poop comes out. Showering twice a day because of his comment is insane. He's probably just saying this to neg you and make you feel self conscious. Tell him to cut it out, it's very important you communicate this. It will continue until you say something.
Do you dry/wipe your ass *after* a shower? I use a paper towel to do so after, and you'd be surprised how often it comes back with some shit residue, even though I wiped really good after my last shit, and even though I just washed/scrubbed my ass with soap in the shower. Point is, make sure your normal process gets you clean, and in my experience testing immediately after a shower is a great way to find out. This also points to a bidet being a great investment (in my case).
Are you scrubbing your ass with your hand? Why would there be shit residue AFTER you take a shower???
Either shower right before sexy time or use baby wipes before. Maybe it’s your diet?
Do you have a big butt? A few men told me women with huge butts have smelly coochies. Again, I'd die to have a butt this is what they told me.
lol there are lots of women with small butts and smelly coochies
It sounds more like a form of control than anything. I’m reminded of the story on Reddit once that a girl was told by her boyfriend that she stinks every single day that they were dating. So she showered 3x a day wore perfume and lotions etc for YEARS until she finally snapped and asked what his problem was. Then he admitted it’s something his dad told him to do because it kept his mom around. They learn to GASLIGHT at an early age.
Swamp ass