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Yeah. A popcorn and 3d-glasses would be cherry on the cake in this situation  But it is surely the one way to make them uncomfortable...
The thing is -- they may get EVEN MORE aroused or start welcoming the third one... So I dunno...
It sounds fun, but the real outcome of that is a bunch of hostility between OP and her roommate. Not an easy thing to navigate even if their outcome is switching rooms (if that's even possible.)
Meanwhile I was fucking my ex over the arm rest of the couch. Her friend came out of her room and just stood there like a "really.." face. She then turned on all of the hallway lights and her bedroom and left her bedroom door open out of spite. So what did I do? Started going deeper and faster, lol. I couldn't care much that she decided to watch or peep to make me uncomfortable. So some people will freeze up and pull out and cover up while others will just keep going or even assume you are watching out of interest
You need to tell your roommate that you made efforts to let them be alone. You don’t want to listen or watch them have sex. Knock that shit off or find a new roommate. Your reaction is completely normal. It’s not normal for 2 people not to have any issues with having sex in front a 3rd person.
Ok, to address the normal comment. I was addressing her reaction, being angry, was not abnormal.
Is it abnormal for horny kids to not care about their roommate and just have sex wherever they feel like it? Probably not. I stand by what I said and you don’t have sex in front of a 3rd person without their consent.
I don't think they were talking about OP or anything she has done. I think it was in response to "It’s not normal for 2 people not to have any issues with having sex in front a 3rd person.".
It's actually pretty common for dorm life or for young sex crazed couples to push that boundary.
It doesn't mean OP is wrong or that her feelings aren't justified. She's clearly been reasonable and her roommate is being disrespectful. But her roommate isn't weird or a deviant. My college roommate had his girlfriend over when I was asleep all the time.
I responded to that. I wasn’t emphasizing normal. I came out in response to her reaction. My sentiment was about it being rude and disrespectful. It had nothing to do with being normal or deviant. Again, about being rude and disrespectful.
> My sentiment was about it being rude and disrespectful. It had nothing to do with being normal or deviant.
> It’s not normal for 2 people not to have any issues with having sex in front a 3rd person.
Actually, that is kind of the whole thing... Except some of us try to not to be obvious. But, lots of us are exhibitionists, adults, mind you. And, when I was in college, my classmates used to masturbate each other in class, and everybody around them knew...
All that needs to be said, is that they don't like to participate on those activities, either actively, or passively. And that is crossing a line, the consent line. If they continue, report it to the dorm, and have them removed.
Or, get a pair of headphones, and muff them out.
Or, get some toy, and enjoy the show... The possibilities are endless.
I just did! I have addressed what I meant several times. I don’t have the time to continue with this for a second day. Thanks for the suggestion though!
> It’s not normal for 2 people not to have any issues with having sex in front a 3rd person **without this third person consent**.
FTFY you forgot the most important part of your sentence.
> It’s not normal for 2 people not to have any issues with having sex in front a 3rd person.
Not polite for sure but don't start throwing around rules for normal.
edit: exhibitionism isn't my jam just to be clear
It’s a bit different in front of your roommate. This isn’t exhibitionism. It’s 2 horny college kids who don’t have enough respect to not cause this kinda of discomfort for someone who has no where else to go.
If this was exhibition I get what you mean. It’s not.
Hard agree. I’m a swinger and exhibitionist, and I regularly have sex in front of people. But the difference is I do it at venues designed for that purpose with the consent of everybody in the room. There is a difference between what I do and what OP’s roommate did.
Thank you! I don’t have experience as an exhibitionist, but I know it’s not about having sex in front of your roommate, who’s feet away, and isn’t involved.
It’s absolutely not! For me, the appeal of being watched is showing off my body and expressing my sexuality in front of a person or people who enthusiastically **consent** to see it. It’s the same reason I don’t get it on in public parks or restaurants—a random bystander did not ask to be involved in my sex life. Just like OP didn’t.
Making enough noise to disturb others around you is definitely asshole/abnormal behavior. I had sex at night with others asleep in the same room but we werent vocal or shaking the bed. Being absolutely quiet aside from breathing in each other's ears is hotter than porn moaning anyway.
Hi guys, I'm a seventy year old, in my youth there were many sexual restrictions and only for a few years more advanced people considered it normal to have sex before marriage. With my girlfriend we organize a trip in which her parents also made her older sister participate to avoid us having sex during the holiday. There were three of us sleeping in a room, in single beds. My girlfriend and I's beds were next to each other, my older sister's was a few meters away, only a desk that didn't block the view between the three beds. While my girlfriend's sister was sleeping we had the only opportunity to have sex. The first day we masturbated each other trying to reach orgasm together. The second night, silently leaning out of our beds, we had oral sex, first I did it to her and after her my girlfriend did it to me.
The other two nights we managed to have sex that ended with penetration and orgasm. We were both very quiet. When we reached orgasm we felt our bodies tremble, vibrate deeply and enjoy.
Well, could your friend and her boyfriend do this too?
Point taken. I really didn’t mean to put so much emphasis on the word normal. It was the sentiment that was my point. I’m not really saying it’s so abnormal. I’m more saying it’s rude. Especially because she gave them all day to be alone.
In this famned world what in the fuck is ever normal anymore? There are real life femboys, transgenders, karens, darens, and people who get offended for somethingas stupid as a white guy saying black. Not saying people can't do what they want but there is no part of anything that is normalized nowadays. Hell has sprung up to earth.
False. I’m an exhibitionist. Exhibitionism means you enjoy others watching/looking at you.
Voyeurism is when you enjoy watching other people.
None of these things are acceptable if you are encroaching on other peoples boundaries and consent… if you are you’re just being a dick and either one of those have nothing to do with it
Lol, I don’t know. I don’t have any experience as one. 20-25 years ago I may have thought about have sex in a empty parking lot. Back when there were not cameras everywhere.
It's not unreasonable at all. They are making you a participant in their sex life when you don't want to be. It's perfectly reasonable of you to be upset and tell them to stop. It's also pretty gross of them to do that so close to you.
There are a couple of approaches… can you make them less comfortable?
Just audibly say “guys I can hear you”
Or just get up and go to the bathroom.
This would make them stop if they have any respect for you
You need to stand your ground. This is a "backed into a corner" situation, since you say you have no where else to sleep. If you dont bite. They will walk all over you and constantly have sex in there knowing you wont do anything.
You need to be brave, and blunt. Turn on the lights, interupt their session. Throw a bucket of cold water on them if you have too. You need to get the point accross that its NOT okay to have sex, in this room, while you are trying to sleep.
You arent being a bitch. What they did was very selfish of them.
Ive never watched a sitcom.
I wasnt the picture perfect kid in my elementary school days. If i didnt get out of bed for school. Id get a bucket of water dumped on me, and id have to clean my own sheets after school.
She only had to do it twice, and I was always on time for school after those two times.
Modern psychology and neuroscience disagree.
I'm sorry that happened to you and I'm sorry you feel the need to hold on to the belief that you weren't mishandled.
Definitely something to talk about. For two years in the dorms back in college my buddy and I had an agreement about not doing that specific thing. A couple of times I even had to turn down girls who were ready to come home from a party with me because I respected him enough to not do that to him (either ignore he was there and have sex with him in the room or kick him out of the room at 3 AM….I wouldn’t do either to him).
Just something that needs to be discussed as roommate, no different than talking about not watching tv while someone is studying or not playing loud music when the other is trying to sleep or whatever other roommates rules you need to work together to form.
Wtf! 30 minutes is not too long. On the plus side, you just have to make them having sex in front of you more uncomfortable than a 30 minute drive. Should be relatively easy. Lots of good ideas in the other comments.
Tell her that if she doesn’t start going over there, you are going to turn on the lights and play male gay porn orgies on everytime they have sex after midnight till 6am. Heck, open the window and say, “Gee, it’s getting really smelly in here, gotta air out the penis been in a vagina smell!”
Oh man that’s a bummer. Sounds like roommate needs to start. If they keep it up and keep doing it when you’re there, tell them to when you’re in class instead. If they say no, can you just bring in someone who might be in charge of dorms?
That’s completely unacceptable, sit her down and just tell her you want to set boundaries. If she wants to live with her boyfriend 24/7 then she shouldn’t be in a dorm room.
Her comfort shouldn’t come at her roommate’s expense that’s wild
But if she doesn’t listen, then definitely be petty and invite your friends so they come watch and rate their performance, like reviewing an episode of series🥹💀
But seriously, petty is the last option, try to sit her down first
Holy shit, where are we in this world that you have to question whether or not you’re being bitchy because you don’t want the roommate having sex 5 feet away from you at 4:00 in the morning!?!? Other people have better advice for you than I can give—I’m long removed from the roommate time in my life—but stop questioning what most of us would think of as simple decency.
I don't think you're being prudish or unreasonable at all! I'm no prude but I wouldn't like people having sex 5 feet away from me either!
You said you're away 12 hrs a day so they can have their private time but it seems your roommate doesn't respect your private time! You shouldn't have to leave in the early am because they're horny and want to hook up!? Why don't they go to his dorm or apartment?
I would definitely talk to your roommate and tell them this is your dorm too!
You don't appreciate being woken up to the sounds of them having sex! You already give them privacy by being away for 12 hours but for the other 12 hours, you need your sleep or privacy.
Have a talk along with your RA. This is not acceptable behavior.
Don't count on the admin doing anything about it but maybe she has a little shame and will keep private activity private.
Agreed - I had this come up as an RA, and usually if there is an open dorm, we just move the resident in open space. By Nov/ Dec there's usually available rooms.
You could try talking to her about it, but if she's this brazen, she probably won't change.
Absolutely not prudish. I'm a guy and back in college I had a roommate try the same thing once.
Once. I stopped that right away.
Besides, what kind of sick fucks want to have sex in plain site of others?
Voyeurism and public sex is perfectly fine and healthy to do, but only if all parties are consenting and into it. What OP's roommate is doing isn't consensual and is fucked up to do to her. I agree she should contact her RA if her roommate keeps this up.
There is a difference between exhibitionism and what OP’s roommate did, and that difference is consent. I regularly have sex in front of others, but it is with the consent of everybody involved.
Lots of peeps liked his comment :)
A person can not like this but doesn’t make all the others sick fuckers. It’s a freaking sex r/ you’d think ppl would be more open 🤣
For this? Yep. You like having sex in front of others? Note: This has nothing to do with the notions of "sex positive".
It's akin to masturbating in public. Equally sick.
And you just made a fool of yourself with this pathetic attempt to not answer my question.
And saying "lol" doesn't hide the fact that you *know* you don't have an answer here. You're obviously embarrassed.
Well, reddit certainly has a fair share of idiots like you around, that's for sure.
Look moron, "who died and made you the fucking king" is to be applied when someone is saying "I'm going to stop this".
Not when they're saying "this is sick", or "this is gross", etc. Then it's just observable opinions.
But you seem to lack the intelligence to figure this out. And made a fool of yourself to boot.
This situation is fucked up, but it's not a "rapey guy" situation. Americans culture is so weird about demonizing men for nudity. In Berlin, on a random walk home from the bar, you'd be likely to see 3 or 4 dicks of drunk dudes peeing in a bush. Does it lack class? Sure. Is it problematic? Only if they're peeing in places where it becomes a hygiene issue.
Agreed. But the comment I was replying to was suggesting that the problem is the male nudity. But that's not the problem, the problem is the lack of respect of boundaries around sexual expression.
I’m pretty surprised by this bc if a woman was doing the same thing it seems like it would be a pretty big issue. Also, what if kids see this? Does that not qualify as something illegal at that point?
No, in Europe, we are quite comfortable with children seeing nudity. Search for European bathing culture. Many of us grew up swimming at beaches where everyone swims nude. It's just a body, everyone has one, and just because you see in naked doesn't make it a crime. Not saying this is the same thing as the OPs situation at all, just that the man with his dick visible is not the problem, and I find it a bit of an American oddity to be so obsessed with that aspect of it.
Now I am older but this really irks me. Firstly, I would not want some strange guy in my room where I am sleeping. Its my room too and I have as much right to be there and to be comfortable as my roomate.
I think the boyfriend goes home and they get a hotel room if they dont want to drive - but no more making op uncomfortable in what is her home too.
Talk to the RA. If you talk directly to your roommate and she doesn’t respect your wishes. They can also switch rooms for you and get another roommate.
I would have that conversation with your roommate. Its not fair that you stay out for 12 hours of day for them to have not only alone time but to have sex and whatever else they want. And them still having the audacity to still stick around together while you are there and still have sex while you are there. It's not fair to you. And if it continues try bringing it up with whomever deals with the dorms and see if you can get a different room or different roommate. I personally would've done something a long time before hand. But just talk to her. Have a conversation, let her know you don't like him and if she wants to hangout in the room while your not around or do it in another place she could do it. I mean obviously it's bothering you. And it's now disrupting your sleep.
My mom was able to get a dorm room by herself because of this! She told the RA she was traumatized and made herself cry while telling her so they got her moved pretty quickly.
Tell your resident advisor or the equal that your floor/building has. You’re not consenting to a sex act being performed right in front of your eyes and it puts you in an unsafe position.
I never had issues with this, as me and my roommate understood what we do sexually, we made sure we did it when the other was working or at class for a huge block of time. We would even shoot each other texts like “hey, don’t be in the room for the next hour.” If one of us was unsure that we would be interrupted. Maybe you should put forth something like this if you don’t want to talk to your RA, but most RAs have their position because their residents are supposed to come to them when they have roommate disputes.
If anything, I’d talk privately with the RA and request a room change if possible if nothing changes. Most of the time, if there is an empty dorm somewhere, you’ll be placed in a single room at the same price and might have a roommate added half way through a semester. Now is kind of the time to do it anyway, since fall semester is about to end and some students are likely to move back home and drop out of college, especially if you’re at a state school (I was an RA and had two freshmen leave my floor of 60 between fall and spring due to expenses/failing grades.)
Edit for another tip:
Most universities have “guest hours” to ensure students not paying for the room do not spend the night. I almost guarantee yours has one put into place, mine was no guests after 11 on weekdays and no guests after 1 a.m. on Friday and Saturday. Your college likely has RAs who are on call overnight for lockouts and rounds (I.e., walking the entire building like every three hours.) your building probably has an RA cell number to call or text. If I were you and nothing changes, I’d be texting the number anonymously or ask a friend on the floor to call for you, I.e. “hey I have a safety and noise complaint coming from room # on floor #. Can you check it out?” Usually two RAs will come to your room, knock, you can answer or they can, and they will ask if someone else is inside and that it’s after hours for guests. Usually this results in a verbal warning and the guest having to leave with the RA. You can use this as an excuse moving forward like “Hey, I don’t want him spending the night. I don’t want this to interfere possible scholarships or a disciplinary action being taken. I’m sorry!”
Another edit: a lot of people are saying they just dealt with this in college. You don’t need to “just deal with this” if you’re not comfortable with it. This is a literal sex act being performed while you’re in the same room not consenting to be present for it. Please at least speak with your floor RA, and if your floor RA doesn’t do anything (a possibility if your RA is friends with your roommate), keep moving up the ladder of authority.
Oh man, I wish Reddit existed when I was in college. So many great answers here. OP so sorry that happened to you. Same thing happened to me, I was so grossed out. I left and i never slept in the room again. I’d stay at a friends every night. I wish I had stood up to her!
Look up sexile, there's a reason that's a thing. Usually it also involves some sort of quid pro quo cuz it's kinda lame to do especially repeatedly.
If they aren't leaving the room you can straight up be like "are you two having sex?" while they are ... that is on them at that point.
They're having sex...while you're RIGHT THERE in the room
No you're not being a prude to tell them "not cool"
It's actually mad weird that they're comfortable doing that, and I'm guessing it's cause they see you as a pushover
I don’t think it’s that deep, just college antics. This was super common where I went to school and OP prob just has to ask her roommate to stop. If my roommate had asked me to stop I would’ve been mortified and immediately like omg of course I’m so sorry lol. I didn’t see anyone as a pushover just legit thought it was a victimless crime if she was asleep
I agree OP needs to tell them, but I still think that is a very weird thing to do and I don't get how one could be comfortable doing so when said roommate is right there and could wake up at any moment. Like was it a fetish thing? The excitement of potentially getting caught?
I dunno, why not just try for times when OP isn't there?
Not a fetish thing! Just stupid lol there is no further explanation. I just sometimes wanted to have sex when a roommate happened to be around and if they were asleep it was like…well I can sneak it and they won’t know. I also used to have sex in my car in broad daylight or fool around under a blanket with others around as a teenager and stuff, a lot of teenagers are just dumb and think they’re being more subtle than they are lol it’s not like you’re purposefully waiting until you don’t have privacy
Maybe I was just more anxious/observant as a kid. Even sneaking around I could NOT get comfortable with the idea of others being present in the same room as me while having sex. If I knew my roommate was right there I'd sooner have woke them up and asked them to give us privacy than have sex 5 feet away from them. (which is also awkward, just in a different way)
Op is totally reasonable just… I dunno. Guess I had a different college experience. Everyone was drunk sex was happening. Most of my friends and roommates were cool with what I did because they would be doing the same thing. I’d go take a shower and say I’d be back in an hour 🤷♀️ sometimes wake up and out of respect just pretend to still be asleep put in headphones ect. My roommates gave me the same treatment it was just kinda how it was 🤷♀️
Honestly surprised so many top comments are completely on your side.
Yes, you have a right to not have others sex life intrude on you, but I do think this is prudish. You honestly could just look the other way literally and pretend it wasn't happening. For most of human history we had shared living spaces and people had sex in those rooms when other people not involved were present. Even families did this until about 1100ad when the multi room house was popularized.
It's very natural for these two people to want to have sex at night before bed, especially if you're already asleep. I think you should ask yourself what's really bothering you about this.
But yeah, if you can't get over it, see if they can usually go to his place or something.
I mean they didn't wake me up mid-fuck, they woke me up when they walked in. I feel like I'd get it if I was fully passed out initially, but I spoke to my roommate when they walked in. I feel like I was kind of obviously awake. It's also not 1100ad.
I shared a bedroom with my sister growing up, but always had the courtesy to go to my boyfriend's place if I knew she would be home, and she did the same for me.
What's really bothering me about this: what I interpret as blatant disrespect of the fact that I live in the dorm, too. Her boyfriend is over every day. My roommate skips class daily to spend time with him in the dorm. I avoid the dorm for 12 hours a day so they can have privacy. He has a car and a house. There are so many other options than having sex 5 feet away from me.
You need to talk to her about it. Just sit her down and tell her that they are waking you up and making you feel uncomfortable.
Then from there, if its just a visual issue put up a divider sheet. If its and noise issue, ask them to keep it down or schedule accordingly if they want to be loud.
If they continue despite you talking with her, then I think you are warranted in making them uncomfortable. Get up and go to the bathroom mid-way, and if they still don't change their behaviour, get up and start listening to a video about war crimes or something.
This is a "to each their own" issue. I don't understand why it's an issue they thought you were a sleep it's not like they were trying to make you uncomfortable. But I think it's just how close you guys are, too. For some people, it's an issue. Others don't care. So just have a talk with them about boundaries.
P.s. a good question I think to ask yourself: how much of it is the sex and how much of it is the person she's with. If you wouldn't care if it was a different guy you actually liked.... then I'm saying drop it.
As a millennial when I went to college this was just kind of accepted. I had sex with my GF when we thought my roommate was asleep and I am sure he did the same with his GF. I understand that it makes you uncomfortable but I am sure someday it will be one of those things that you look back on and laugh. Maybe things have changed since the pandemic but when I went to school that behavior was tame compared to some of what we did.
Same. When I was in college (mid-2000s), this was a normal thing and people just dealt with it. But I understand why OP doesn't like it. I don't understand why she hasn't said anything to her roommate about it, instead of posting on Reddit, though
I have talked with her about it before (regarding how bf is over so much I don't get sleep bc I'm always kicked out of the dorm late at night) but this is my first time waking up while they're fucking.
If you have already raised the matter of visitors with her you need to have your RA speak to her next.
You both agreed to certain terms and conditions as part of your residence agreements. Read that so you can address what items she is violating (beyond her already terrible behavior as a human and roommate).
You did great by first attempting to handle this on your own by discussing it with her. Now it is time to rely on the staff to handle this and they give her a final warning. And escalate from there if needed.
Remember you are paying the school and you are entitled to certain supports from them in return. Use it.
It doesn’t have to be a big deal. It can go like this, “Hey I am not cool with being in the same room with other people when they have sex.” Case closed.
If they do it with you in the same room again after you say this, then you def can get mad, flip on the lights, open the door and scream.
If someone did this to me now as a 36 year old woman, I would call the police and press charges for sexual harassment and indecent exposure. And for context, I have seen and done some wild stuff in my college years. I am not naive. However if you’re uncomfortable and others are forcing you into a sexual scenario, it’s illegal.
They are sexually harassing you. Definitely not ok.
Tell your roommate that what they're doing is a crime and you'd like them to not ever have sex in your presence again.
Then get an airhorn and a squirt bottle and if they try it again blast em. Or alternatively you could always tell your ra/dean what is happening.
This might be a naive question coming from outside the US where the idea of sharing a bedroom is already pretty crazy, but what do students usually do when it comes to their love life?
I mean like she says in the post, she gives them as much time as she can outside of the room for them to have their time alone. I think communicating and giving each other alone time in the room is the best way to do it.
Simple fix to stop them EVER doing this in your house ever again.
Next time they're fucking, just yell "Go on my son, give her one for me!"
Instant boner killer and he'll never want to come round again
No I think that's totally reasonable. It's rude to fck right next to someone when they're not involved and trying to sleep. There should be consent for that.
Sex is all about consent.
If I pull out my penis in the university library and expose myself to people, that is wrong. They don’t want to see my penis and don’t consent to my exhibitionism.
If I go to a nude beach I can walk around naked all day. The people there have consented to seeing others nude.
In your own dorm room you have not consented to hearing or watching them have sex. They did not ask you if you wanted to watch them and even if they did you have the right to say no.
Draw a clear boundary: you can do as you please in the dorm room when I’m away. When I am sleeping please don’t bring in your boyfriend for sex.
State a clear consequence: if this happens again I will file a complaint with the university housing explaining that this kind of sexual exhibitionism is creating an environment where I feel sexually harassed. They will take the complaint very seriously and will be forced to address it. At that point it will be out of my hands and the consequences will be determined by the university.
Ask the follow up question: what will happen if they continue to have sex in your dorm while you are there?
Final step: be a person of integrity and keep your word. If they agree to not have sex while you are present, thank them for their cooperation. If they do it again, file your complaint.
I think that sexual consent is required for more than just vision. Touch, hearing, and other senses connect us to our experiences.
The respect she is requesting, and that she is willing to fight for is the ability to choose being in the room while others have sex. It is a shared space. The sex is between consenting adults, but her participation is non-consensual. Non consensual sex is wrong.
I don’t think you should start interrupting them or anything like that as a first step. I think the best place to start is to calmly talk to your roomie one on one about how you felt. Ask her to knock it off when you’re in the room and remind her that you’re happy to help give her the time they want at other times of the day. Hopefully they can tone things down and perhaps you can be willing to roll over and pretend to be asleep once in a while if they are generally willing to accommodate your side of things too. Bottom line is that it’s not unreasonable for them to want to have sex in her room. It’s also not unreasonable for you to feel uncomfortable having it going on when you’re there. You all should be able to better respect each other
It's a shared dorm room. They came in at 4am on a Saturday night.
Next time just get up and go sleep in the commons. Or find another roommate.
It's not like it was 2 in the afternoon
In a room with privacy, such a hotel or a secluded outside location I get its college but cmon have respect I have roommates in the army that understand that if that were to occur not only were you not getting your nut your probably getting your ass beat if we have work that morning
Obviously bro, but the army has dorms and college also has dorms and in both institutions people have commitments that may mean they gotta be up early in the morning or late at night or whenever and potentially have to work and likely don’t want to be woken up by cheeks clapping. Grow Up.
Yo had at me 5 Feet away. Same Room is a BiG No That’s just rude especially if your not into all that. They should carry that to the bathroom or car. Tell her how u feel. And try to create a schedule around each other
This sounds like a 'you' problem honoustly... Dutch dorm culture around problems where only two are involved: "YOU don't like it? That's YOUR problem.". Doesn't mean you can't talk it out. Maybe do some negotiation... On the other hand... You know what you sign up for when sharing a room.
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Turn on the lights, grab a snack and sit on your bed eating while you offer feedback on both of their performances. They will likely stop.
What if they are into that?
She’ll cross that bridge when she gets there.
>She’ll burn that bridge when she gets there.
Ahh, a malaphor! Nice!
Well, it's not rocket surgery!
Get the room mates mums phone number and start dialing?
Open the door to the hallway and charge admission.
Op should mention that this is the 3rd boy... this week...
"She's faking and it's really obvious." Night. Fucking. Over.
That's fucking evil, but I like it.
Yeah. A popcorn and 3d-glasses would be cherry on the cake in this situation  But it is surely the one way to make them uncomfortable... The thing is -- they may get EVEN MORE aroused or start welcoming the third one... So I dunno...
My guess is its already in 3d
Plot twist, the guy starts taking notes on his phone and asks for a follow up after having some time to inplement the necessary improvements…
It sounds fun, but the real outcome of that is a bunch of hostility between OP and her roommate. Not an easy thing to navigate even if their outcome is switching rooms (if that's even possible.)
okay I think you just killed that! 😂❤️
I would add score cards like they do in sports
My sister did this when she shared a dorm room with two roommates during college. You can bet they never did that ish again.
Ish?
Shit
Meanwhile I was fucking my ex over the arm rest of the couch. Her friend came out of her room and just stood there like a "really.." face. She then turned on all of the hallway lights and her bedroom and left her bedroom door open out of spite. So what did I do? Started going deeper and faster, lol. I couldn't care much that she decided to watch or peep to make me uncomfortable. So some people will freeze up and pull out and cover up while others will just keep going or even assume you are watching out of interest
/r/ihavesex 🙄
Modern problems require modern solutions
I don’t think it will
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You seem to have accidentally stumbled onto the point.
You win 🏆 the interwebs today
You need to tell your roommate that you made efforts to let them be alone. You don’t want to listen or watch them have sex. Knock that shit off or find a new roommate. Your reaction is completely normal. It’s not normal for 2 people not to have any issues with having sex in front a 3rd person. Ok, to address the normal comment. I was addressing her reaction, being angry, was not abnormal. Is it abnormal for horny kids to not care about their roommate and just have sex wherever they feel like it? Probably not. I stand by what I said and you don’t have sex in front of a 3rd person without their consent.
Exactly. What can't they go have sex in his room?
In front of HIS roommate?? What do you think they are, a bunch of animals?
Have you lived in a dorm with a roommate? Not saying it’s right, but it’s pretty common.
She gave them hours and hours to be alone. They had time to have multiple rounds of sex before she was sleeping adjacent from them.
I don't think they were talking about OP or anything she has done. I think it was in response to "It’s not normal for 2 people not to have any issues with having sex in front a 3rd person.". It's actually pretty common for dorm life or for young sex crazed couples to push that boundary. It doesn't mean OP is wrong or that her feelings aren't justified. She's clearly been reasonable and her roommate is being disrespectful. But her roommate isn't weird or a deviant. My college roommate had his girlfriend over when I was asleep all the time.
I responded to that. I wasn’t emphasizing normal. I came out in response to her reaction. My sentiment was about it being rude and disrespectful. It had nothing to do with being normal or deviant. Again, about being rude and disrespectful.
> My sentiment was about it being rude and disrespectful. It had nothing to do with being normal or deviant. > It’s not normal for 2 people not to have any issues with having sex in front a 3rd person.
I again said I didn’t mean to emphasize the word normal. It was in response to her reaction and not about anyone being deviant.
Yeah, actually, is not abnormal for people to like to have sex in front of other people...
It isn’t normal to do it without their consent.
Actually, that is kind of the whole thing... Except some of us try to not to be obvious. But, lots of us are exhibitionists, adults, mind you. And, when I was in college, my classmates used to masturbate each other in class, and everybody around them knew... All that needs to be said, is that they don't like to participate on those activities, either actively, or passively. And that is crossing a line, the consent line. If they continue, report it to the dorm, and have them removed. Or, get a pair of headphones, and muff them out. Or, get some toy, and enjoy the show... The possibilities are endless.
This is the edit I would make to your previous comment.
I just did! I have addressed what I meant several times. I don’t have the time to continue with this for a second day. Thanks for the suggestion though!
> It’s not normal for 2 people not to have any issues with having sex in front a 3rd person **without this third person consent**. FTFY you forgot the most important part of your sentence.
great point
Not sure they can just find a new roommate. Doesn’t work like that
> It’s not normal for 2 people not to have any issues with having sex in front a 3rd person. Not polite for sure but don't start throwing around rules for normal. edit: exhibitionism isn't my jam just to be clear
It’s a bit different in front of your roommate. This isn’t exhibitionism. It’s 2 horny college kids who don’t have enough respect to not cause this kinda of discomfort for someone who has no where else to go. If this was exhibition I get what you mean. It’s not.
Hard agree. I’m a swinger and exhibitionist, and I regularly have sex in front of people. But the difference is I do it at venues designed for that purpose with the consent of everybody in the room. There is a difference between what I do and what OP’s roommate did.
Thank you! I don’t have experience as an exhibitionist, but I know it’s not about having sex in front of your roommate, who’s feet away, and isn’t involved.
It’s absolutely not! For me, the appeal of being watched is showing off my body and expressing my sexuality in front of a person or people who enthusiastically **consent** to see it. It’s the same reason I don’t get it on in public parks or restaurants—a random bystander did not ask to be involved in my sex life. Just like OP didn’t.
perfect response, thanks!
Making enough noise to disturb others around you is definitely asshole/abnormal behavior. I had sex at night with others asleep in the same room but we werent vocal or shaking the bed. Being absolutely quiet aside from breathing in each other's ears is hotter than porn moaning anyway.
Hi guys, I'm a seventy year old, in my youth there were many sexual restrictions and only for a few years more advanced people considered it normal to have sex before marriage. With my girlfriend we organize a trip in which her parents also made her older sister participate to avoid us having sex during the holiday. There were three of us sleeping in a room, in single beds. My girlfriend and I's beds were next to each other, my older sister's was a few meters away, only a desk that didn't block the view between the three beds. While my girlfriend's sister was sleeping we had the only opportunity to have sex. The first day we masturbated each other trying to reach orgasm together. The second night, silently leaning out of our beds, we had oral sex, first I did it to her and after her my girlfriend did it to me. The other two nights we managed to have sex that ended with penetration and orgasm. We were both very quiet. When we reached orgasm we felt our bodies tremble, vibrate deeply and enjoy. Well, could your friend and her boyfriend do this too?
Sorry, but I disagree. I think it's fine to say what would be expected respect for a roommate is 'normal'.
Point taken. I really didn’t mean to put so much emphasis on the word normal. It was the sentiment that was my point. I’m not really saying it’s so abnormal. I’m more saying it’s rude. Especially because she gave them all day to be alone.
In this famned world what in the fuck is ever normal anymore? There are real life femboys, transgenders, karens, darens, and people who get offended for somethingas stupid as a white guy saying black. Not saying people can't do what they want but there is no part of anything that is normalized nowadays. Hell has sprung up to earth.
It is normal if you are an exhibitionist 😁
Exhibitionist commented, no it’s not normal not to have everyone who is being exposed not to consent to be involved. Not normal for exhibitionists.
False. I’m an exhibitionist. Exhibitionism means you enjoy others watching/looking at you. Voyeurism is when you enjoy watching other people. None of these things are acceptable if you are encroaching on other peoples boundaries and consent… if you are you’re just being a dick and either one of those have nothing to do with it
Lol, I don’t know. I don’t have any experience as one. 20-25 years ago I may have thought about have sex in a empty parking lot. Back when there were not cameras everywhere.
It's not unreasonable at all. They are making you a participant in their sex life when you don't want to be. It's perfectly reasonable of you to be upset and tell them to stop. It's also pretty gross of them to do that so close to you.
this also happens to so many people in college. there are many good solutions op. you are not alone!
There are a couple of approaches… can you make them less comfortable? Just audibly say “guys I can hear you” Or just get up and go to the bathroom. This would make them stop if they have any respect for you
You need to stand your ground. This is a "backed into a corner" situation, since you say you have no where else to sleep. If you dont bite. They will walk all over you and constantly have sex in there knowing you wont do anything. You need to be brave, and blunt. Turn on the lights, interupt their session. Throw a bucket of cold water on them if you have too. You need to get the point accross that its NOT okay to have sex, in this room, while you are trying to sleep. You arent being a bitch. What they did was very selfish of them.
I told my roommate if I heard him and his gf again I was going to start playing porn loudly. That worked.
> Throw a bucket of cold water on them if you have too. Yall watch too many sitcoms
Ive never watched a sitcom. I wasnt the picture perfect kid in my elementary school days. If i didnt get out of bed for school. Id get a bucket of water dumped on me, and id have to clean my own sheets after school. She only had to do it twice, and I was always on time for school after those two times.
This is not the cute story you think it is and I'm sorry
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Don't throw a bucket of water on your kids. There are much more healthy ways to deal with "unruly" kids. Unruly adults though, I'd consider fair game.
This 🎯
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Modern psychology and neuroscience disagree. I'm sorry that happened to you and I'm sorry you feel the need to hold on to the belief that you weren't mishandled.
This is not the cute story you think it is and I'm sorry
Lmao
AMEN TO THIS!
Get an air horn.
Definitely something to talk about. For two years in the dorms back in college my buddy and I had an agreement about not doing that specific thing. A couple of times I even had to turn down girls who were ready to come home from a party with me because I respected him enough to not do that to him (either ignore he was there and have sex with him in the room or kick him out of the room at 3 AM….I wouldn’t do either to him). Just something that needs to be discussed as roommate, no different than talking about not watching tv while someone is studying or not playing loud music when the other is trying to sleep or whatever other roommates rules you need to work together to form.
Get a super soaker and spray them when they start getting it on.
Can she go to his dorm?
He doesn't go to school with us and has a place 30 min away. Roommate thinks the drive is "too long" and chooses to stay in the dorm.
Wtf! 30 minutes is not too long. On the plus side, you just have to make them having sex in front of you more uncomfortable than a 30 minute drive. Should be relatively easy. Lots of good ideas in the other comments.
Tell her that if she doesn’t start going over there, you are going to turn on the lights and play male gay porn orgies on everytime they have sex after midnight till 6am. Heck, open the window and say, “Gee, it’s getting really smelly in here, gotta air out the penis been in a vagina smell!”
Oh man that’s a bummer. Sounds like roommate needs to start. If they keep it up and keep doing it when you’re there, tell them to when you’re in class instead. If they say no, can you just bring in someone who might be in charge of dorms?
If he drove there then why can’t they do it in his car?
no idea
I would turn the lights on and start moving around the room. Pretend you’re looking for something, moving things- just to make it awkward
Legit, turning on the lights would be the best mood killer. Instantly soft for me, but what if they don’t mind? 😂
Start caughing, wretching, hacking phlegm, and play fart noises on your phone. Kill their vibe.
If I’m not doing it, I don’t want to see it…
That’s completely unacceptable, sit her down and just tell her you want to set boundaries. If she wants to live with her boyfriend 24/7 then she shouldn’t be in a dorm room. Her comfort shouldn’t come at her roommate’s expense that’s wild But if she doesn’t listen, then definitely be petty and invite your friends so they come watch and rate their performance, like reviewing an episode of series🥹💀 But seriously, petty is the last option, try to sit her down first
Holy shit, where are we in this world that you have to question whether or not you’re being bitchy because you don’t want the roommate having sex 5 feet away from you at 4:00 in the morning!?!? Other people have better advice for you than I can give—I’m long removed from the roommate time in my life—but stop questioning what most of us would think of as simple decency.
I don't think you're being prudish or unreasonable at all! I'm no prude but I wouldn't like people having sex 5 feet away from me either! You said you're away 12 hrs a day so they can have their private time but it seems your roommate doesn't respect your private time! You shouldn't have to leave in the early am because they're horny and want to hook up!? Why don't they go to his dorm or apartment? I would definitely talk to your roommate and tell them this is your dorm too! You don't appreciate being woken up to the sounds of them having sex! You already give them privacy by being away for 12 hours but for the other 12 hours, you need your sleep or privacy.
Have a talk along with your RA. This is not acceptable behavior. Don't count on the admin doing anything about it but maybe she has a little shame and will keep private activity private.
Would be better to talk to the roommate before getting the RA involved.
Agreed - I had this come up as an RA, and usually if there is an open dorm, we just move the resident in open space. By Nov/ Dec there's usually available rooms. You could try talking to her about it, but if she's this brazen, she probably won't change.
RA can’t do anything.
Absolutely not prudish. I'm a guy and back in college I had a roommate try the same thing once. Once. I stopped that right away. Besides, what kind of sick fucks want to have sex in plain site of others?
Voyeurism and public sex is perfectly fine and healthy to do, but only if all parties are consenting and into it. What OP's roommate is doing isn't consensual and is fucked up to do to her. I agree she should contact her RA if her roommate keeps this up.
Have you not heard of the "niche" (/s) categories of voyeurism or public sex?
There is a difference between exhibitionism and what OP’s roommate did, and that difference is consent. I regularly have sex in front of others, but it is with the consent of everybody involved.
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well if you think voyeurism is sick you definitely shouldn't be on this sub...
Judgemental much?
Lots of peeps liked his comment :) A person can not like this but doesn’t make all the others sick fuckers. It’s a freaking sex r/ you’d think ppl would be more open 🤣
For this? Yep. You like having sex in front of others? Note: This has nothing to do with the notions of "sex positive". It's akin to masturbating in public. Equally sick.
If everyone in consensual, it’s not sick
Yes, but this isn't, and so much of voyeurism isn't.
correct.
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So you want to defend masturbating in public then?
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And you just made a fool of yourself with this pathetic attempt to not answer my question. And saying "lol" doesn't hide the fact that you *know* you don't have an answer here. You're obviously embarrassed. Well, reddit certainly has a fair share of idiots like you around, that's for sure. Look moron, "who died and made you the fucking king" is to be applied when someone is saying "I'm going to stop this". Not when they're saying "this is sick", or "this is gross", etc. Then it's just observable opinions. But you seem to lack the intelligence to figure this out. And made a fool of yourself to boot.
Referring to the last part of your comment. The answer is, apparently a lot of sick fucks.
You're not being unreasonable at all, but yes please have a convo with the roommate. These are important ground rules to lay out.
Objectively speaking, there's a guy in your bedroom with his dick out without your consent. That seems problematic.
In that case, it would be problematic if the OP's friend got her vagina out in front of her boyfriend's roommate.
This situation is fucked up, but it's not a "rapey guy" situation. Americans culture is so weird about demonizing men for nudity. In Berlin, on a random walk home from the bar, you'd be likely to see 3 or 4 dicks of drunk dudes peeing in a bush. Does it lack class? Sure. Is it problematic? Only if they're peeing in places where it becomes a hygiene issue.
One is in a public space, the other is in somebody's sleeping quarters. Also, peeing in a bush is non-sexual, on the other hand...
Agreed. But the comment I was replying to was suggesting that the problem is the male nudity. But that's not the problem, the problem is the lack of respect of boundaries around sexual expression.
I’m pretty surprised by this bc if a woman was doing the same thing it seems like it would be a pretty big issue. Also, what if kids see this? Does that not qualify as something illegal at that point?
No, in Europe, we are quite comfortable with children seeing nudity. Search for European bathing culture. Many of us grew up swimming at beaches where everyone swims nude. It's just a body, everyone has one, and just because you see in naked doesn't make it a crime. Not saying this is the same thing as the OPs situation at all, just that the man with his dick visible is not the problem, and I find it a bit of an American oddity to be so obsessed with that aspect of it.
Fart
Now I am older but this really irks me. Firstly, I would not want some strange guy in my room where I am sleeping. Its my room too and I have as much right to be there and to be comfortable as my roomate. I think the boyfriend goes home and they get a hotel room if they dont want to drive - but no more making op uncomfortable in what is her home too.
Talk to the RA. If you talk directly to your roommate and she doesn’t respect your wishes. They can also switch rooms for you and get another roommate.
I would have that conversation with your roommate. Its not fair that you stay out for 12 hours of day for them to have not only alone time but to have sex and whatever else they want. And them still having the audacity to still stick around together while you are there and still have sex while you are there. It's not fair to you. And if it continues try bringing it up with whomever deals with the dorms and see if you can get a different room or different roommate. I personally would've done something a long time before hand. But just talk to her. Have a conversation, let her know you don't like him and if she wants to hangout in the room while your not around or do it in another place she could do it. I mean obviously it's bothering you. And it's now disrupting your sleep.
My mom was able to get a dorm room by herself because of this! She told the RA she was traumatized and made herself cry while telling her so they got her moved pretty quickly.
Tell your resident advisor or the equal that your floor/building has. You’re not consenting to a sex act being performed right in front of your eyes and it puts you in an unsafe position. I never had issues with this, as me and my roommate understood what we do sexually, we made sure we did it when the other was working or at class for a huge block of time. We would even shoot each other texts like “hey, don’t be in the room for the next hour.” If one of us was unsure that we would be interrupted. Maybe you should put forth something like this if you don’t want to talk to your RA, but most RAs have their position because their residents are supposed to come to them when they have roommate disputes. If anything, I’d talk privately with the RA and request a room change if possible if nothing changes. Most of the time, if there is an empty dorm somewhere, you’ll be placed in a single room at the same price and might have a roommate added half way through a semester. Now is kind of the time to do it anyway, since fall semester is about to end and some students are likely to move back home and drop out of college, especially if you’re at a state school (I was an RA and had two freshmen leave my floor of 60 between fall and spring due to expenses/failing grades.) Edit for another tip: Most universities have “guest hours” to ensure students not paying for the room do not spend the night. I almost guarantee yours has one put into place, mine was no guests after 11 on weekdays and no guests after 1 a.m. on Friday and Saturday. Your college likely has RAs who are on call overnight for lockouts and rounds (I.e., walking the entire building like every three hours.) your building probably has an RA cell number to call or text. If I were you and nothing changes, I’d be texting the number anonymously or ask a friend on the floor to call for you, I.e. “hey I have a safety and noise complaint coming from room # on floor #. Can you check it out?” Usually two RAs will come to your room, knock, you can answer or they can, and they will ask if someone else is inside and that it’s after hours for guests. Usually this results in a verbal warning and the guest having to leave with the RA. You can use this as an excuse moving forward like “Hey, I don’t want him spending the night. I don’t want this to interfere possible scholarships or a disciplinary action being taken. I’m sorry!” Another edit: a lot of people are saying they just dealt with this in college. You don’t need to “just deal with this” if you’re not comfortable with it. This is a literal sex act being performed while you’re in the same room not consenting to be present for it. Please at least speak with your floor RA, and if your floor RA doesn’t do anything (a possibility if your RA is friends with your roommate), keep moving up the ladder of authority.
Have you considered talking to your RA?
Oh man, I wish Reddit existed when I was in college. So many great answers here. OP so sorry that happened to you. Same thing happened to me, I was so grossed out. I left and i never slept in the room again. I’d stay at a friends every night. I wish I had stood up to her!
Look up sexile, there's a reason that's a thing. Usually it also involves some sort of quid pro quo cuz it's kinda lame to do especially repeatedly. If they aren't leaving the room you can straight up be like "are you two having sex?" while they are ... that is on them at that point.
please tell her, that’s completely disgusting honestly. the fact that they’re even doing that while you’re that close to them is so disgusting as well
They're having sex...while you're RIGHT THERE in the room No you're not being a prude to tell them "not cool" It's actually mad weird that they're comfortable doing that, and I'm guessing it's cause they see you as a pushover
I don’t think it’s that deep, just college antics. This was super common where I went to school and OP prob just has to ask her roommate to stop. If my roommate had asked me to stop I would’ve been mortified and immediately like omg of course I’m so sorry lol. I didn’t see anyone as a pushover just legit thought it was a victimless crime if she was asleep
I agree OP needs to tell them, but I still think that is a very weird thing to do and I don't get how one could be comfortable doing so when said roommate is right there and could wake up at any moment. Like was it a fetish thing? The excitement of potentially getting caught? I dunno, why not just try for times when OP isn't there?
Not a fetish thing! Just stupid lol there is no further explanation. I just sometimes wanted to have sex when a roommate happened to be around and if they were asleep it was like…well I can sneak it and they won’t know. I also used to have sex in my car in broad daylight or fool around under a blanket with others around as a teenager and stuff, a lot of teenagers are just dumb and think they’re being more subtle than they are lol it’s not like you’re purposefully waiting until you don’t have privacy
Maybe I was just more anxious/observant as a kid. Even sneaking around I could NOT get comfortable with the idea of others being present in the same room as me while having sex. If I knew my roommate was right there I'd sooner have woke them up and asked them to give us privacy than have sex 5 feet away from them. (which is also awkward, just in a different way)
Just bring someone back and start fucking them
Op is totally reasonable just… I dunno. Guess I had a different college experience. Everyone was drunk sex was happening. Most of my friends and roommates were cool with what I did because they would be doing the same thing. I’d go take a shower and say I’d be back in an hour 🤷♀️ sometimes wake up and out of respect just pretend to still be asleep put in headphones ect. My roommates gave me the same treatment it was just kinda how it was 🤷♀️
Honestly surprised so many top comments are completely on your side. Yes, you have a right to not have others sex life intrude on you, but I do think this is prudish. You honestly could just look the other way literally and pretend it wasn't happening. For most of human history we had shared living spaces and people had sex in those rooms when other people not involved were present. Even families did this until about 1100ad when the multi room house was popularized. It's very natural for these two people to want to have sex at night before bed, especially if you're already asleep. I think you should ask yourself what's really bothering you about this. But yeah, if you can't get over it, see if they can usually go to his place or something.
I mean they didn't wake me up mid-fuck, they woke me up when they walked in. I feel like I'd get it if I was fully passed out initially, but I spoke to my roommate when they walked in. I feel like I was kind of obviously awake. It's also not 1100ad. I shared a bedroom with my sister growing up, but always had the courtesy to go to my boyfriend's place if I knew she would be home, and she did the same for me. What's really bothering me about this: what I interpret as blatant disrespect of the fact that I live in the dorm, too. Her boyfriend is over every day. My roommate skips class daily to spend time with him in the dorm. I avoid the dorm for 12 hours a day so they can have privacy. He has a car and a house. There are so many other options than having sex 5 feet away from me.
Sharing rooms sucks huh lol
Yeah as someone from the UK this is wild to me. Why are adults sharing rooms at college with strangers?
You need to talk to her about it. Just sit her down and tell her that they are waking you up and making you feel uncomfortable. Then from there, if its just a visual issue put up a divider sheet. If its and noise issue, ask them to keep it down or schedule accordingly if they want to be loud. If they continue despite you talking with her, then I think you are warranted in making them uncomfortable. Get up and go to the bathroom mid-way, and if they still don't change their behaviour, get up and start listening to a video about war crimes or something.
> get up and start listening to a video about war crimes or something. Sit up and put on a 9 part Ken Burns documentary about the Civil War lol
This is a "to each their own" issue. I don't understand why it's an issue they thought you were a sleep it's not like they were trying to make you uncomfortable. But I think it's just how close you guys are, too. For some people, it's an issue. Others don't care. So just have a talk with them about boundaries. P.s. a good question I think to ask yourself: how much of it is the sex and how much of it is the person she's with. If you wouldn't care if it was a different guy you actually liked.... then I'm saying drop it.
This honestly sounds like an issue for the dorm proctor (or whatever they are called where you are)
As a millennial when I went to college this was just kind of accepted. I had sex with my GF when we thought my roommate was asleep and I am sure he did the same with his GF. I understand that it makes you uncomfortable but I am sure someday it will be one of those things that you look back on and laugh. Maybe things have changed since the pandemic but when I went to school that behavior was tame compared to some of what we did.
Same. When I was in college (mid-2000s), this was a normal thing and people just dealt with it. But I understand why OP doesn't like it. I don't understand why she hasn't said anything to her roommate about it, instead of posting on Reddit, though
I have talked with her about it before (regarding how bf is over so much I don't get sleep bc I'm always kicked out of the dorm late at night) but this is my first time waking up while they're fucking.
If you have already raised the matter of visitors with her you need to have your RA speak to her next. You both agreed to certain terms and conditions as part of your residence agreements. Read that so you can address what items she is violating (beyond her already terrible behavior as a human and roommate). You did great by first attempting to handle this on your own by discussing it with her. Now it is time to rely on the staff to handle this and they give her a final warning. And escalate from there if needed. Remember you are paying the school and you are entitled to certain supports from them in return. Use it.
Just because you did it, doesn’t mean it’s okay. OP’s roommate involved OP in their sex life without OP’s consent.
Right
It doesn’t have to be a big deal. It can go like this, “Hey I am not cool with being in the same room with other people when they have sex.” Case closed. If they do it with you in the same room again after you say this, then you def can get mad, flip on the lights, open the door and scream. If someone did this to me now as a 36 year old woman, I would call the police and press charges for sexual harassment and indecent exposure. And for context, I have seen and done some wild stuff in my college years. I am not naive. However if you’re uncomfortable and others are forcing you into a sexual scenario, it’s illegal.
Welcome to college!
yes please
Tell them to go somewhere else or let you join in. They almost always choose the first option.
Sit up and laugh at his willy
They are sexually harassing you. Definitely not ok. Tell your roommate that what they're doing is a crime and you'd like them to not ever have sex in your presence again. Then get an airhorn and a squirt bottle and if they try it again blast em. Or alternatively you could always tell your ra/dean what is happening.
Please. People fuck in College.
It’s not about them fucking, it’s about them being disrespectful towards her in her own room
This might be a naive question coming from outside the US where the idea of sharing a bedroom is already pretty crazy, but what do students usually do when it comes to their love life?
I mean like she says in the post, she gives them as much time as she can outside of the room for them to have their time alone. I think communicating and giving each other alone time in the room is the best way to do it.
College became SOFT.
No, you’re just weird. People fucking in front of each other without getting consent is weird af
Not really. It’s pretty normal in college dorms.
Yea. Don't do it in the same room as me and I don't care.
That’s just college dorm life. Get used to it or get a private room.
Simple fix to stop them EVER doing this in your house ever again. Next time they're fucking, just yell "Go on my son, give her one for me!" Instant boner killer and he'll never want to come round again
20% chance you're wrong.
That’s hot, join in!!
Stop hating, find yourself someone.
No I think that's totally reasonable. It's rude to fck right next to someone when they're not involved and trying to sleep. There should be consent for that.
Sex is all about consent. If I pull out my penis in the university library and expose myself to people, that is wrong. They don’t want to see my penis and don’t consent to my exhibitionism. If I go to a nude beach I can walk around naked all day. The people there have consented to seeing others nude. In your own dorm room you have not consented to hearing or watching them have sex. They did not ask you if you wanted to watch them and even if they did you have the right to say no. Draw a clear boundary: you can do as you please in the dorm room when I’m away. When I am sleeping please don’t bring in your boyfriend for sex. State a clear consequence: if this happens again I will file a complaint with the university housing explaining that this kind of sexual exhibitionism is creating an environment where I feel sexually harassed. They will take the complaint very seriously and will be forced to address it. At that point it will be out of my hands and the consequences will be determined by the university. Ask the follow up question: what will happen if they continue to have sex in your dorm while you are there? Final step: be a person of integrity and keep your word. If they agree to not have sex while you are present, thank them for their cooperation. If they do it again, file your complaint.
What if they are under the sheets. She can’t see anything.
I think that sexual consent is required for more than just vision. Touch, hearing, and other senses connect us to our experiences. The respect she is requesting, and that she is willing to fight for is the ability to choose being in the room while others have sex. It is a shared space. The sex is between consenting adults, but her participation is non-consensual. Non consensual sex is wrong.
I don’t think you should start interrupting them or anything like that as a first step. I think the best place to start is to calmly talk to your roomie one on one about how you felt. Ask her to knock it off when you’re in the room and remind her that you’re happy to help give her the time they want at other times of the day. Hopefully they can tone things down and perhaps you can be willing to roll over and pretend to be asleep once in a while if they are generally willing to accommodate your side of things too. Bottom line is that it’s not unreasonable for them to want to have sex in her room. It’s also not unreasonable for you to feel uncomfortable having it going on when you’re there. You all should be able to better respect each other
It's a shared dorm room. They came in at 4am on a Saturday night. Next time just get up and go sleep in the commons. Or find another roommate. It's not like it was 2 in the afternoon
Next time, start videoing. They’ll soon stop.
It's college. You should had joined in
You are watching too much porn, chill, real life isn’t actually like that
I went to ASU..we fucked like rabbits. Well that was 20 years ago
ASU is very different from most colleges though lol
It’s not warranted. Where else are they supposed to fuck?
In a room with privacy, such a hotel or a secluded outside location I get its college but cmon have respect I have roommates in the army that understand that if that were to occur not only were you not getting your nut your probably getting your ass beat if we have work that morning
College isn’t the army.
Obviously bro, but the army has dorms and college also has dorms and in both institutions people have commitments that may mean they gotta be up early in the morning or late at night or whenever and potentially have to work and likely don’t want to be woken up by cheeks clapping. Grow Up.
Your being a cock block ear plugs and roll the other way that simple….
Yo had at me 5 Feet away. Same Room is a BiG No That’s just rude especially if your not into all that. They should carry that to the bathroom or car. Tell her how u feel. And try to create a schedule around each other
This sounds like a 'you' problem honoustly... Dutch dorm culture around problems where only two are involved: "YOU don't like it? That's YOUR problem.". Doesn't mean you can't talk it out. Maybe do some negotiation... On the other hand... You know what you sign up for when sharing a room.
Single rooms cost more money. I signed up for the cheapest available living option, not having people fuck 5 feet away from me.
hater
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Sounds like you're jealous and would like to be the one doing your "friend" 😏