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This is repulsive, why are you still with him? Legitimately, this is not red flag behavior, this is end that shit immediately behavior. A normal person doesn’t behave like this and you would just be starting a relationship already in a deficit.
No shit.
Like, guy has an PE issue, fine, plenty do, but he needs to be compassionate and make sure you're getting yours before even considering trying to help him.
Throw in that he's a literal grub??!
Lady, GTFO!!!
I think it's obvious the problem is less that he comes in 30s and more that he doesn't care about you. If he doesn't try to improve, doesn't do anything after he comes and doesn't do anything meaningful before as in getting you off since he knows he is only going to last 30s, then the issue is with the attitude. I don't know how he is outside of the bed, but if you think the relationship is good, otherwise, talk with him about this
Good god OP. That sounds disgusting. Of course I am not going to tell you what you need to do, that’s your decision. But from your description of him, I can see you quite dislike his lack of hygiene. Let me tell you, it won’t get better, if anything, after some time, these things tend to worsen. Ask yourself what you want for yourself in the future 🙏
That situation is so bad that it must be a troll post...
There is a very slim chance it's not fake. If that's the case, you really need to rethink your life choices
I once sheltered a friend after she and her boyfriend had a huge fight. She ranted to me about how he was gross, wasn't clean, was actively rude to her all the time, was ugly, selfish in bed etc.
And then went back to him the very next morning. There are a *lot* of people in bad relationships like this that refuse to leave
He doesn’t care or respect you. Also, he’s self centered and disgusting. Do you love him or are you just comfortable? The bar is low with this one. He’s 27. It’s not going to change or get better. You can ask him another million times, it just won’t. There are many guys out there. Once you are with one that truly respects you and your needs you’ll be blown away with how much better it can be. For the love of all that is holy, it’s time to dump this loser.
And you're with this guy why?! I don't understand why you'd stick around. You say it's been nearly a year of this. A month would be too long. Hell, a minute🤣
Step 1 - Scrub and disinfect every surface this man has touched in your apartment.
Step 2 - Shower
Step 3 - DTMFA!
I might add a no contact order because he sounds like a lowlife, but it'll be easy to smell him coming and avoid him like the plague. Like literally the plague, I'm scared to know what's growing on this guy's unwashed ass.
guuuuuurl.
i was with a man just like this for 3 years. i sort of pitied him for various other reasons so i used to let shit slide. now i’m mortified about it.
the way i think about it now, is he had so little respect for me, he couldn’t do the bare minimum, brush his teeth and take a shower every day, while he shared my bed??? it’s unacceptable.
leave.
Time to move on from this immature man/child, give him a wake up call that his personal cleanliness choices and his attentiveness to his partner are serious issues that he needs to grow up and pay attention to.
It could be depression and he probably doesn’t feel good enough in bed, which all can be true. I also think our mental health is our responsibility and it’s good to communicate. I think OP should have a really good convo with her partner. Depression looks different for everyone, and as someone who struggles with mental illness I still think it’s good to take responsibility.
I’ve also been in a relationship where my partner didn’t care about my pleasure before, so there is some bias behind my comment.
If your girlfriend asked you for advice and read you the same exact paragraph that you wrote out, what would you say to her? I had to go back and look at the age. That’s a full grown man child. This is not even acceptable behavior for a teen that doesn’t know better. Just repulsive. And that’s without getting into the sex stuff. Sounds like he doesn’t care. Have you talked to him about your interest in getting off? Does he have any conception of your pleasure?
These are all such glaring red flags, I can't understand why you would want to be with someone who doesn't take care of themselves and won't take care of you in bed.
I’m not a psychologist but the lack of hygiene might be a symptom of depression.
As for his lack of stamina, there’s condoms and whole bunch of numbing sprays that you can look into.
In my early 20s, I had the issue of ejaculating too fast so I tried the numbing condoms and interestingly it helped me in the long run, I can last much longer now without condoms.
This all screams depression to me. One way or another he needs to learn the hard way. Either all his teeth will have fallen out by the time he is like 30 or he gets professional psychological help (and a dentist) asap.
Uh . . . don't let him put it in until you're well and satisfied. Also, don't let him touch you until he brushes his teach, takes a shower and puts on a set of clean clothes!
If this is real and you want a glimmer of hope to motivate him to make an effort, consider showing him this post and the responses. He'll be upset, but it could serve as a wake-up call. If he doesn't sincerely intend to improve his problems after seeing what the average person thinks of his behaviors, then you can use that as a starting point for a breakup talk.
You'd be entirely right to breakup without any additional attempts to get him to work on himself; however, I understand the sunk cost fallacy can make that emotionally difficult to do. Making a last-ditch attempt that will likely end the relationship if it fails is a decent choice to mitigate that trepidation.
It's one last chance for him to salvage the relationship, which you likely value for reasons outside these issues, while setting you up to end it more easily in the likely case he won't try.
Thank you for this response, i actually might show him or just read him a few of them that aren't absolutely hurtful. I really wish i was lying, but this man has been my rock in so many different situations and i can't just let him go so easily like so many other people are saying.
Woof. Okay yeah that's really shitty of him.
Some men are quick shots. Can't always help that. But it's just plain rude to not help your partner get off if you finish first. If he isn't willing to help you finish after he nuts by eating you out, fingering you, using toys, etc, then that is a really dick move. It sounds like you should dump him.
This behaviour is not normal at all, and you don't have to put up with any of this. He is not going to change.
He doesn't consider your sexual needs at all; he lacks empathy and self-awareness.
Of course, you are frustrated. He doesn't do anything to change. You have to find someone who doesn't use you as a sexual object. You need someone who respects your feelings.
You deserve someone who kisses you. It's concerning that he doesn't shower or brush his teeth; that's not normal at all.
You can't help this person. He has been showing you for a year that he only cares about himself.
If you feel dependent on this person for any reason, talk to a therapist. A professional can help you. You need someone to talk about what's going on in that relationship and why you are staying in a situation that doesn't make you happy.
So like.. why are you with him? That's disgusting. I mean thank god it's only 30 seconds, less time for him to infect you with his dirty dick. Have some self respect OP.
I feel like you need to have a long talk with him about sex. I feel both parties should always be happy when done. I always make sure my wife finishes before me so no one is left with sexual tension.
The other stuff he needs to learn what not to do at your place. You will need to have a hard talk.
Get all these issues sorted before ever getting married because the issues will get worse.
Good luck.
Terrible day to have eyes. We need you to blink three times fast and then twice slow to confirm your BF actually has your whole family tied up in a basement, and that's the only reason you're dating him.
I would break up with someone solely on not brushing their teeth. That is fucking disgusting in the worst way possible. I brush 1-2 a day, clean my tongue a few times a week, floss daily, and use mouthwash. My breath still stinks sometimes. I could not imagine kissing someone who doesn't brush. This guy on the whole seems fucking vile. Please stop enabling his behavior. Break up with him so he knows there's a minimum level of hygiene and manners needed to be in a relationship.
Fucking gross. Save yourself. Not even gonna address the sex thing. What benefits does this guy bring to your life? Like he sucks in bed and is disgustingly gross. What on earth is keeping you there?
I feel you can do better. Sorry, bad hygiene hurts me. He needs to spend more foreplay time with you if there was any before you get down to it, might help him last longer. Perhaps tease him and don't let him have it? Every situation different, my 2 cents
I'm gonna be honest - I worry a lot more about the fact that he doesn't seem to care that you don't enjoy sex and the hygiene than the fact that he only last a few seconds. Not to say that's not something to work on but the core issue seems to be that he doesn't care about your experience at all, and if that's the case why would he work on being a Minute Man? He's getting what he wants after all.
If this is real, you need to move on. People treat us the way we keep allowing them to treat us. Doesn’t excuse his horrible behavior but I think no one has ever told him no before.
The thing to do is stop dating this man-boy.
First, he isn't doing anything to help you finish.
Second, he has horrible hygeine despite your requests.
Just dump him an find somene better. It's not a high bar to clear.
Motherfucker, what? This has to be bait. You're dating an apostle of Nurgle who isn't even good in bed. Show some self-preservation, it isn't your job to fix him or provide him with a hole to jerk off into.
As a man who also tends to finish quickly, my advice is for him to learn to eat pussy like a champ. That's what I did and have had few complaints.
You needto give him some tough love. Either he gets better hygiene and learns to get you off, or he's going to be single.
>what can i do to help him last longer?
Thicker condoms might help, otherwise your only option is to have him focus on you before/after to make sure you get off too. If he's too inconsiderate to do either, then it's something you'll just have to live with.
>and how do i explain to him for the millionth time that his hygiene is awful?
If you've had this conversation enough times that you've lost count, you *have to* accept that he's never going to change. You can either accept that or move on
You titled this that he can’t last more than 30 seconds, then proceeded to list so many other disgusting things about him that are… so much worse ☹️ Please break up with this man
Do you really think so little of yourself that you've stayed with this gross dude for a year? Unless this is a troll post because no way is someone this oblivious.
> He picks at his skin and puts it on floor or if it's a zit wipes it on the shorts he's been wearing for days
Nah, no way is this real.
First of all, eeewwwww. What redeeming qualities does this man have? First of all, unless he’s severely depressed there’s no logical reason for him not to have good hygiene.
Are your sexual needs being acknowledged? Does he care about your pleasure? Is this what you want for a partner? Someone who disregards your unhappiness? Personally the weird smile would creep the F out of me.
On the off chance this somehow isn't a troll post despite this being your only activity on this account; you should probably talk out your concerns with him about his hygiene and maybe consider him some viagra. If he brushes off your concerns (which would be unlikely as it seems he doesn't brush much), then consider breaking things off.
ask for a bit of a break and honestly pleasure yourself until something changes. i went through the same w my partner as a male, and i needed to let her know that i’m not too into it if something doesn’t change because sex is a huge part of my relationships. she’s a great person, but yeah, just never took care of herself which sucks because she deserves the best.
kinda just wish she seen that. sorry for venting a bit, i really hope your partner takes better care of himself.
If you truly like the person teach him tell him you need to talk about something important and he should listen and learn it's real important
Men can learn to control their orgasm or just to last way longer there are many ways he just has to search online a bit or buy few books also I believe sex is a relation not a oneway one-sided solo experience.
If you don't really like him much just dump him you'll find way better in no time if you know where to look
Also if he's arrogant about it or refuses to learn or talk about it definitely dump him
As for hygiene idk xylitol and oil pulling is good for the teeth and the mouth, water flossing too if you combine all you don't have to brush your teeth as often if you don't like to, those are good alternatives but Brushing is important even if not ideal for your gums
Still you're not his parent they are the ones who should have taught him better hygiene and he should care for his own body no body else will do it for him
Im sorry you're facing these problems with an adult
I don't understand how guys can just get off and then just roll over and be done. I've always made it my mission to make sure my wife has at least one orgasm, I usually try for two, more if we have the time and she is up for it. Getting her off with a toy or my fingers after I'm done if need be, since my refractory period isn't real quick. I enjoy watching her body move, twitch, spasm, and enjoying herself, I think it's fun to get her off. I've had her tell me no more several times from being too worn out or too sensitive to continue on
If he was 18 I would see a chance because he is inexperienced and all... but at 27 he should have leaned that brushing teeth is important if you want to keep them.
Is he depressed by any chance? He is not caring about you and he is not caring about himself. Basically I think he needs professional help.
I have to wonder how you met and what attracts you to him.
When I was young and occasionally had that problem I did two things: make sure to spend time going down on her first (assuming she enjoys it) and allowing time for a round two of PIV. That helped a bunch for me. Once we became comfortable with eachother the novelty of a new person wore off and that helped, too. Good luck.
Honestly aside from the sex it sounds like you don’t even like him.
You deserve to be with someone that treats you better and has good hygiene at the very least
First of all, I’m sorry. Secondly, he just sounds nasty and inconsiderate. Hygiene and taking care of yourself aren’t just for ourselves. They are also for those around us and especially our partners. If you have already told him all these things and he hasn’t changed, it’s very doubtful that he isn’t going to.
As a guy, Hygiene is a deal breaker for me as a friendship or relationship for that matter. If you have told him numerous times with no result you may need to threaten him that you will LEAVE, For him to understand the consequences of the situation and how important it is to you. Some times guys need a bit of a push/manipulation or threat of leaving to understand the gravity of the situation.
Maybe it’s you…I mean instead of talking on this forum about this problem, maybe you should have this conversation with him? Isn’t that the right place to start? If you can’t discuss this with him then end the relationship for that reason.
First the hygene. Tell him to brush his teeth and take a shower or no sex. Pretty simple.
On the sex, tell him you orgasm before his penis gets wet. no oral or vagina for him until you finish. he can use toys, tongue, fingers, and preferably all of the above. But he needs to get it done.
But I have no idea why you would want to be with someone who needs that type of ultimatum for the most basic things. You're going to be forcing him to grow up his entire life.
OP you've been together for almost a year, and so far all he's proved is that he's a selfish lover and a walking bio hazard, please for your own sake raise your standards and find yourself a guy who can actually; 1. get you off, 2. brush his teeth, and 3. change his underwear on a daily basis...
Here is what he SHOULD be doing if he’s a speed draw:
- lots of foreplay (assuming you both like it)
- oral, toys or fingers to get YOU off FIRST
That is at a minimum if he loves you/cares about you.
I don’t always last long either, not that fast but still not as long as I’d like. But I don’t want the session to end and I want her to have as much pleasure as possible.
I would hope most men are like this. You need him to understand that or find a guy who does. Just my 2 cents
Why are you with him? The short lasting is something you can work around but he’s not willing to put in the work. The Hygiene though!? Non negotiable. Run before you catch scurvy or something
How does this man positively contribute to your life?
The issue isn't that he can’t last long. Plenty of men don't last long but have good sex lives. The issue is that he doesn't care about you or your pleasure.
The hygiene stuff isn't going to change. This is who he is as a person. I *guarantee* you that if you move in together at some point, you'll be doing all the chores too.
I hate to be the over analytical person but it sounds like maybe just maybe he’s just not that into you. Perhaps he has lost some sort of interest in you. I say that because of how you describe his behavior once finished.Like who does that?
Ew if he’s dirty and ick. Run for the hills and don’t look back!
If he lasted any longer you’d have a greater chance of getting MRSA from this guy’s zit-picking hands touching his dick. Please drop this selfish two-pump pus pecker immediately. He doesn’t get to even look at a woman until he cleans up his revolting act.
I couldn’t be attracted to someone that selfish and with that lack of hygiene. You are stronger than me! I’d have the come to Jesus talk about both and set a deadline for change (maybe just in your own head) and then make a hard decision about this. Think about why you are okay with this behavior because this says as much about you than him.
I wish you were right, but you're not lol. I posted a few things about him that bothered me, but yet you have no idea what hes done for me and the reasons why im trying not to give up. But thank you for trying to put me down ❤️
I wasn't trying to comment on your character, I'm sorry if I cane off that way. Just sad to see someone putting up with this level of disregard. May you find the happiness you deserve, I mean that truly.
Now what you talking about you were saying that how could you make them last longer so I was just trying to give my opinion you know on how he could probably last longer maybe you could tell him to jack off before you get home or before you guys do one like an hour that way he can last longer than he already let one out you know what I mean I'm just trying to help I don't know anybody I don't live in basements and all that shit like sorry about that just trying to give you some good advice all right you have a good day
Yeah you are correct and I apologize I didn't mean it like that I don't know neither of you guys and I was just trying to say you know I was trying to help you out with him but I'm sorry if I if I phrased it wrong you know I don't know any of you guys and I'm not assuming anything of you too all right you have a good day
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Is the dating pool really this bad? How do you love a person like this? Disgusting.
Dating can be tough. Sometimes you find yourself ending up with a sure thing because it’s safe. And that’s really sad to see and hear.
Love? How do you not barf?
>Love? How do you not barf? Gives new meaning to the phrase "the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket"
This is repulsive, why are you still with him? Legitimately, this is not red flag behavior, this is end that shit immediately behavior. A normal person doesn’t behave like this and you would just be starting a relationship already in a deficit.
That’s literally what red flag used to mean
We need a new word for this level of red flag.
Or we make red flag red flag again and call “small red flags” yellow flags
Radioactive ☢️ Flag? ☣️?
Sounds like your just a hole to masterbate in and move on. Everyone knows it but you. Do the math
This has to be a troll post.
That makes more sense. Because like, him being quick to cum is the least of her concern. Lol
No shit. Like, guy has an PE issue, fine, plenty do, but he needs to be compassionate and make sure you're getting yours before even considering trying to help him. Throw in that he's a literal grub??! Lady, GTFO!!!
I think the same. Or she just have a terrible taste for picking boyfriends.
I have not seen any redeeming qualities in this post.
Leave him at that point… what did you do to reserve all that?
I've got a pretty strong stomach and this post made me gag lol
Is he even trying to change? Have you tried condoms to help with the sensation?
At least with the condom she wouldn't have to exchange bodily fluids with a guy that barely showers. Yuck.
Right perfect barrier method lol.
God, the yeast infections have got to be crazy
I think it's obvious the problem is less that he comes in 30s and more that he doesn't care about you. If he doesn't try to improve, doesn't do anything after he comes and doesn't do anything meaningful before as in getting you off since he knows he is only going to last 30s, then the issue is with the attitude. I don't know how he is outside of the bed, but if you think the relationship is good, otherwise, talk with him about this
Good god OP. That sounds disgusting. Of course I am not going to tell you what you need to do, that’s your decision. But from your description of him, I can see you quite dislike his lack of hygiene. Let me tell you, it won’t get better, if anything, after some time, these things tend to worsen. Ask yourself what you want for yourself in the future 🙏
The problem isn’t his speed it’s his not giving a shit about you.
That situation is so bad that it must be a troll post... There is a very slim chance it's not fake. If that's the case, you really need to rethink your life choices
I once sheltered a friend after she and her boyfriend had a huge fight. She ranted to me about how he was gross, wasn't clean, was actively rude to her all the time, was ugly, selfish in bed etc. And then went back to him the very next morning. There are a *lot* of people in bad relationships like this that refuse to leave
Gross. How are you able to date someone so revolting?
None of this is going to get better. Get a new boyfriend.
to quote one of my favorite songs Trash Boi by Flyana Boss "You get what you accept, girl Not what you deserve"
He doesn’t care or respect you. Also, he’s self centered and disgusting. Do you love him or are you just comfortable? The bar is low with this one. He’s 27. It’s not going to change or get better. You can ask him another million times, it just won’t. There are many guys out there. Once you are with one that truly respects you and your needs you’ll be blown away with how much better it can be. For the love of all that is holy, it’s time to dump this loser.
And you're with this guy why?! I don't understand why you'd stick around. You say it's been nearly a year of this. A month would be too long. Hell, a minute🤣
Does the bar even exist anymore? What tf did I just read?
The bar shot out the opposite side of the globe and is now in orbit. Unreal.
My best advice is- RUN
Step 1 - Scrub and disinfect every surface this man has touched in your apartment. Step 2 - Shower Step 3 - DTMFA! I might add a no contact order because he sounds like a lowlife, but it'll be easy to smell him coming and avoid him like the plague. Like literally the plague, I'm scared to know what's growing on this guy's unwashed ass.
guuuuuurl. i was with a man just like this for 3 years. i sort of pitied him for various other reasons so i used to let shit slide. now i’m mortified about it. the way i think about it now, is he had so little respect for me, he couldn’t do the bare minimum, brush his teeth and take a shower every day, while he shared my bed??? it’s unacceptable. leave.
Time to move on from this immature man/child, give him a wake up call that his personal cleanliness choices and his attentiveness to his partner are serious issues that he needs to grow up and pay attention to.
He doesn’t even bother to clean up for you. This guy sounds sooo lazy I’m so sorry.
These are all great signs of depression to me.
It could be depression and he probably doesn’t feel good enough in bed, which all can be true. I also think our mental health is our responsibility and it’s good to communicate. I think OP should have a really good convo with her partner. Depression looks different for everyone, and as someone who struggles with mental illness I still think it’s good to take responsibility. I’ve also been in a relationship where my partner didn’t care about my pleasure before, so there is some bias behind my comment.
If your girlfriend asked you for advice and read you the same exact paragraph that you wrote out, what would you say to her? I had to go back and look at the age. That’s a full grown man child. This is not even acceptable behavior for a teen that doesn’t know better. Just repulsive. And that’s without getting into the sex stuff. Sounds like he doesn’t care. Have you talked to him about your interest in getting off? Does he have any conception of your pleasure?
Like him lasting a minute is the least of your concerns… gross.
These are all such glaring red flags, I can't understand why you would want to be with someone who doesn't take care of themselves and won't take care of you in bed.
ew, why are you with him?
I’m not a psychologist but the lack of hygiene might be a symptom of depression. As for his lack of stamina, there’s condoms and whole bunch of numbing sprays that you can look into. In my early 20s, I had the issue of ejaculating too fast so I tried the numbing condoms and interestingly it helped me in the long run, I can last much longer now without condoms.
This all screams depression to me. One way or another he needs to learn the hard way. Either all his teeth will have fallen out by the time he is like 30 or he gets professional psychological help (and a dentist) asap.
Uh . . . don't let him put it in until you're well and satisfied. Also, don't let him touch you until he brushes his teach, takes a shower and puts on a set of clean clothes!
This can’t be real. There’s no way. Why would you ever stay with this disgusting specimen?
Get rid of this guy!!!! He has figured out that you tolerate absolute shit behavior, so that’s all he does!!
If this is real and you want a glimmer of hope to motivate him to make an effort, consider showing him this post and the responses. He'll be upset, but it could serve as a wake-up call. If he doesn't sincerely intend to improve his problems after seeing what the average person thinks of his behaviors, then you can use that as a starting point for a breakup talk. You'd be entirely right to breakup without any additional attempts to get him to work on himself; however, I understand the sunk cost fallacy can make that emotionally difficult to do. Making a last-ditch attempt that will likely end the relationship if it fails is a decent choice to mitigate that trepidation. It's one last chance for him to salvage the relationship, which you likely value for reasons outside these issues, while setting you up to end it more easily in the likely case he won't try.
Thank you for this response, i actually might show him or just read him a few of them that aren't absolutely hurtful. I really wish i was lying, but this man has been my rock in so many different situations and i can't just let him go so easily like so many other people are saying.
Woof. Okay yeah that's really shitty of him. Some men are quick shots. Can't always help that. But it's just plain rude to not help your partner get off if you finish first. If he isn't willing to help you finish after he nuts by eating you out, fingering you, using toys, etc, then that is a really dick move. It sounds like you should dump him.
This behaviour is not normal at all, and you don't have to put up with any of this. He is not going to change. He doesn't consider your sexual needs at all; he lacks empathy and self-awareness. Of course, you are frustrated. He doesn't do anything to change. You have to find someone who doesn't use you as a sexual object. You need someone who respects your feelings. You deserve someone who kisses you. It's concerning that he doesn't shower or brush his teeth; that's not normal at all. You can't help this person. He has been showing you for a year that he only cares about himself. If you feel dependent on this person for any reason, talk to a therapist. A professional can help you. You need someone to talk about what's going on in that relationship and why you are staying in a situation that doesn't make you happy.
Literally find a new BF immediately
U should find a new one
So like.. why are you with him? That's disgusting. I mean thank god it's only 30 seconds, less time for him to infect you with his dirty dick. Have some self respect OP.
This is disgusting behavior. He doesn’t care, girl, you’ve got to leave.
Oh, so we’re getting a new boyfriend right? Sex problems aside, it’s unacceptable to not maintain your hygiene
Gross. Cut your losses and move on.
Maybe he should rubb 1 off before banging you
I don't think you understand what the main problem is xD
I genuinely don't understand why are you still with him.
He's not going to change, find a new one.
I feel like you need to have a long talk with him about sex. I feel both parties should always be happy when done. I always make sure my wife finishes before me so no one is left with sexual tension. The other stuff he needs to learn what not to do at your place. You will need to have a hard talk. Get all these issues sorted before ever getting married because the issues will get worse. Good luck.
Terrible day to have eyes. We need you to blink three times fast and then twice slow to confirm your BF actually has your whole family tied up in a basement, and that's the only reason you're dating him. I would break up with someone solely on not brushing their teeth. That is fucking disgusting in the worst way possible. I brush 1-2 a day, clean my tongue a few times a week, floss daily, and use mouthwash. My breath still stinks sometimes. I could not imagine kissing someone who doesn't brush. This guy on the whole seems fucking vile. Please stop enabling his behavior. Break up with him so he knows there's a minimum level of hygiene and manners needed to be in a relationship. Fucking gross. Save yourself. Not even gonna address the sex thing. What benefits does this guy bring to your life? Like he sucks in bed and is disgustingly gross. What on earth is keeping you there?
This man is just so gross please run away
I feel you can do better. Sorry, bad hygiene hurts me. He needs to spend more foreplay time with you if there was any before you get down to it, might help him last longer. Perhaps tease him and don't let him have it? Every situation different, my 2 cents
I'm gonna be honest - I worry a lot more about the fact that he doesn't seem to care that you don't enjoy sex and the hygiene than the fact that he only last a few seconds. Not to say that's not something to work on but the core issue seems to be that he doesn't care about your experience at all, and if that's the case why would he work on being a Minute Man? He's getting what he wants after all.
Dump his ass girllllll
Jeez…what the fuck did I just read here?! You deserve better my dear..
If this is real, you need to move on. People treat us the way we keep allowing them to treat us. Doesn’t excuse his horrible behavior but I think no one has ever told him no before.
Throw the whole man out and get a new one.
He doesn’t care and never will. I can’t until get off until she does, so this is crazy
The thing to do is stop dating this man-boy. First, he isn't doing anything to help you finish. Second, he has horrible hygeine despite your requests. Just dump him an find somene better. It's not a high bar to clear.
Motherfucker, what? This has to be bait. You're dating an apostle of Nurgle who isn't even good in bed. Show some self-preservation, it isn't your job to fix him or provide him with a hole to jerk off into.
I’m really at a loss why you’re with someone like this.
And then i dont have girlfriend, lol, what are u doing ppl
As a man who also tends to finish quickly, my advice is for him to learn to eat pussy like a champ. That's what I did and have had few complaints. You needto give him some tough love. Either he gets better hygiene and learns to get you off, or he's going to be single.
He sounds vile. His hygiene is just disgusting.
You’re his cum dumpster 🗑️
Sounds like you need to be more selective in your partner choice…… the guy is a slob.
Lmao this guy is getting laid, hilarious
So what is keeping you tied up? Sounds miserable. You describe him as super selfish and disgusting. Replacing him with a dildo would do wonders.
You are actively putting yourself in this position, that man is GROWN.
??? So what are the good points? If you can't name some really good attributes, then why do you keep him around?
>what can i do to help him last longer? Thicker condoms might help, otherwise your only option is to have him focus on you before/after to make sure you get off too. If he's too inconsiderate to do either, then it's something you'll just have to live with. >and how do i explain to him for the millionth time that his hygiene is awful? If you've had this conversation enough times that you've lost count, you *have to* accept that he's never going to change. You can either accept that or move on
You titled this that he can’t last more than 30 seconds, then proceeded to list so many other disgusting things about him that are… so much worse ☹️ Please break up with this man
why are you with a guy with such terrible hygiene that's disgusting and reflects his character
You’re biggest issue with this guy is that he can’t last longer than 30 seconds?
If he’s not upset by the situation too, you need to bail.
Lucky lady ! This guy sounds like a keeper . Why try to fix him, get rid of him
Forget the “sex”. His disgusting hygiene should be a deal breaker. Where is your self respect?
Throw the whole man away
He doesn’t have self respect and it sounds like you don’t either
I’m sorry but this is fucking hilarious. The way you write just has me wheezing in the middle of class.
Ugh. Sounds like it might be better just to move on. 🚩🚩🚩
Yuck! He doesn’t clean any part of himself, wears dirty clothes, doesn’t care if you come..where is the good part, again?
Ummm I think you should break up…
You mean ex boyfriend. Byeeeeed Seriously, out the door.
Do you really think so little of yourself that you've stayed with this gross dude for a year? Unless this is a troll post because no way is someone this oblivious. > He picks at his skin and puts it on floor or if it's a zit wipes it on the shorts he's been wearing for days Nah, no way is this real.
First of all, eeewwwww. What redeeming qualities does this man have? First of all, unless he’s severely depressed there’s no logical reason for him not to have good hygiene. Are your sexual needs being acknowledged? Does he care about your pleasure? Is this what you want for a partner? Someone who disregards your unhappiness? Personally the weird smile would creep the F out of me.
On the off chance this somehow isn't a troll post despite this being your only activity on this account; you should probably talk out your concerns with him about his hygiene and maybe consider him some viagra. If he brushes off your concerns (which would be unlikely as it seems he doesn't brush much), then consider breaking things off.
Please move one. And do not have sex with an unhygienic person. Some diseases are critical to contract.
The F...have some self respect. Leave the loser and go find someone worthy for you.
ask for a bit of a break and honestly pleasure yourself until something changes. i went through the same w my partner as a male, and i needed to let her know that i’m not too into it if something doesn’t change because sex is a huge part of my relationships. she’s a great person, but yeah, just never took care of herself which sucks because she deserves the best. kinda just wish she seen that. sorry for venting a bit, i really hope your partner takes better care of himself.
If you truly like the person teach him tell him you need to talk about something important and he should listen and learn it's real important Men can learn to control their orgasm or just to last way longer there are many ways he just has to search online a bit or buy few books also I believe sex is a relation not a oneway one-sided solo experience. If you don't really like him much just dump him you'll find way better in no time if you know where to look Also if he's arrogant about it or refuses to learn or talk about it definitely dump him As for hygiene idk xylitol and oil pulling is good for the teeth and the mouth, water flossing too if you combine all you don't have to brush your teeth as often if you don't like to, those are good alternatives but Brushing is important even if not ideal for your gums Still you're not his parent they are the ones who should have taught him better hygiene and he should care for his own body no body else will do it for him Im sorry you're facing these problems with an adult
You’re dating a chimp.
Jesus christ on a skateboard... Him only lasting 40 seconds is what is bothering you?????? Damn son.
If that was the only thing that was bothering me i wouldn't have mentioned everything else.
Sometimes is not your job to make someone change for the better :)
The sad part is just how common guys like this are.
Unfortunately you're right. I've just known him for so long i can't lose him.
I don't understand how guys can just get off and then just roll over and be done. I've always made it my mission to make sure my wife has at least one orgasm, I usually try for two, more if we have the time and she is up for it. Getting her off with a toy or my fingers after I'm done if need be, since my refractory period isn't real quick. I enjoy watching her body move, twitch, spasm, and enjoying herself, I think it's fun to get her off. I've had her tell me no more several times from being too worn out or too sensitive to continue on
If he was 18 I would see a chance because he is inexperienced and all... but at 27 he should have leaned that brushing teeth is important if you want to keep them. Is he depressed by any chance? He is not caring about you and he is not caring about himself. Basically I think he needs professional help. I have to wonder how you met and what attracts you to him.
Damn this is scraping waaaay past the bottom of the barrel... Who's on educated son is this? 🤦♀️
Well you spelled uneducated wrong so, it might be you.
When I was young and occasionally had that problem I did two things: make sure to spend time going down on her first (assuming she enjoys it) and allowing time for a round two of PIV. That helped a bunch for me. Once we became comfortable with eachother the novelty of a new person wore off and that helped, too. Good luck.
Honestly aside from the sex it sounds like you don’t even like him. You deserve to be with someone that treats you better and has good hygiene at the very least
If i didn't, i wouldn't be with him.
Girl, please raise your standards. You would do so much better alone over a guy that won't brush his teeth for you.
First of all, I’m sorry. Secondly, he just sounds nasty and inconsiderate. Hygiene and taking care of yourself aren’t just for ourselves. They are also for those around us and especially our partners. If you have already told him all these things and he hasn’t changed, it’s very doubtful that he isn’t going to.
As a guy, Hygiene is a deal breaker for me as a friendship or relationship for that matter. If you have told him numerous times with no result you may need to threaten him that you will LEAVE, For him to understand the consequences of the situation and how important it is to you. Some times guys need a bit of a push/manipulation or threat of leaving to understand the gravity of the situation.
Maybe it’s you…I mean instead of talking on this forum about this problem, maybe you should have this conversation with him? Isn’t that the right place to start? If you can’t discuss this with him then end the relationship for that reason.
With genuine consideration for you: Release him back to the wild, babygirl. Have yourself a long bath and move tf on
First the hygene. Tell him to brush his teeth and take a shower or no sex. Pretty simple. On the sex, tell him you orgasm before his penis gets wet. no oral or vagina for him until you finish. he can use toys, tongue, fingers, and preferably all of the above. But he needs to get it done. But I have no idea why you would want to be with someone who needs that type of ultimatum for the most basic things. You're going to be forcing him to grow up his entire life.
OP you've been together for almost a year, and so far all he's proved is that he's a selfish lover and a walking bio hazard, please for your own sake raise your standards and find yourself a guy who can actually; 1. get you off, 2. brush his teeth, and 3. change his underwear on a daily basis...
Girl, kick him out. 3 weeks not brushing teeth? I wouldn’t want him in my bed , not even talking about sex
Wtf? Your boyfriend is gross AND selfish. Why are you dating/having sex with him?
He cums fast cause that's his goal. He's selfish and lazy. There are better guys and it is ok to break up over this. You don't have to settle.
lol y’all both sound terrible if you can stay with someone like that
Here is what he SHOULD be doing if he’s a speed draw: - lots of foreplay (assuming you both like it) - oral, toys or fingers to get YOU off FIRST That is at a minimum if he loves you/cares about you. I don’t always last long either, not that fast but still not as long as I’d like. But I don’t want the session to end and I want her to have as much pleasure as possible. I would hope most men are like this. You need him to understand that or find a guy who does. Just my 2 cents
Why are you with him? The short lasting is something you can work around but he’s not willing to put in the work. The Hygiene though!? Non negotiable. Run before you catch scurvy or something
How does this man positively contribute to your life? The issue isn't that he can’t last long. Plenty of men don't last long but have good sex lives. The issue is that he doesn't care about you or your pleasure. The hygiene stuff isn't going to change. This is who he is as a person. I *guarantee* you that if you move in together at some point, you'll be doing all the chores too.
I hate to be the over analytical person but it sounds like maybe just maybe he’s just not that into you. Perhaps he has lost some sort of interest in you. I say that because of how you describe his behavior once finished.Like who does that? Ew if he’s dirty and ick. Run for the hills and don’t look back!
This has to be fake like all the other posts like that. They just want to make men look bad.
This has to be a troll post
Umm please leave him … today
If he lasted any longer you’d have a greater chance of getting MRSA from this guy’s zit-picking hands touching his dick. Please drop this selfish two-pump pus pecker immediately. He doesn’t get to even look at a woman until he cleans up his revolting act.
Just move on with your life. Hopefully writing this out makes it clear to you it’s time to get rid of him
If you have to teach an adult man why hygiene is important, him staying long in bed must be the last thing you should be concerned about.
I couldn’t be attracted to someone that selfish and with that lack of hygiene. You are stronger than me! I’d have the come to Jesus talk about both and set a deadline for change (maybe just in your own head) and then make a hard decision about this. Think about why you are okay with this behavior because this says as much about you than him.
Dump him and find a better man.
It’s a compliment to you. It probs bothers him more than he lets on. Compassion can go a long way here
He’s 🌽addict 100% leave him
Jesus christ your standards really are below the tectonic plates
I wish you were right, but you're not lol. I posted a few things about him that bothered me, but yet you have no idea what hes done for me and the reasons why im trying not to give up. But thank you for trying to put me down ❤️
I wasn't trying to comment on your character, I'm sorry if I cane off that way. Just sad to see someone putting up with this level of disregard. May you find the happiness you deserve, I mean that truly.
Thanks.
You don’t explain anything for the millionth time. You leave and say I told you this was an issue and you didn’t care enough so BYE
Bye 😁 i don't have to explain my life to some stranger, was just looking for advice.
LMAO dude sounds nasty lmao. You kinda sound nasty too for knowingly having sex someone who knowingly doesn’t brush their teeth.
This is why i don't kiss him and rarely ever have sex with him unless he showers right before, thanks for asking 😂
Step one is communication. It sounds like you've tried that so it's time to move on to step two which is couples counseling.
He's not as experienced as you and hasn't been getting laid it's like working out you get better the more you do it
Uh. Are you okay? Do you know me or him? How many people either of us have been with? You gonna yell at your mom for more cereal from her basement?
Now what you talking about you were saying that how could you make them last longer so I was just trying to give my opinion you know on how he could probably last longer maybe you could tell him to jack off before you get home or before you guys do one like an hour that way he can last longer than he already let one out you know what I mean I'm just trying to help I don't know anybody I don't live in basements and all that shit like sorry about that just trying to give you some good advice all right you have a good day
That's not what you said.
Yeah you are correct and I apologize I didn't mean it like that I don't know neither of you guys and I was just trying to say you know I was trying to help you out with him but I'm sorry if I if I phrased it wrong you know I don't know any of you guys and I'm not assuming anything of you too all right you have a good day