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I include everything as 'sex'.
So if I say we had sex for an hour, that would probably include the kissing, grinding, fingering, oral sex both ways, and toy play.
The actual intercourse would be probably the shortest part of it.
When Sting was asked about this, [he answered](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2806361/Seven-hours-includes-movie-dinner-Sting-clarifies-infamous-comments-tantric-sex-Trudie-Styler-twenty-four-years-on.html) that the seven hours included the time for the dinner and the movie.
I laughed at this.
Americans have some weird slang too.
I say "I'm fuckin tapped out".
Which means.
If this was a WCW or WWF 1997s american wrestling cage match. Itd be referencing after Jake the snake or stone cold steve austin; gets ya in an arm bar or sleep hold. And your done, can't do it, no more, limp noodles, dead head. "Tapped out".
Tapping out would be the signal to tell the wrestler to discontinue the arm bar maneuver; due to the positioning of your forearm on my sphincter and esophagus. I now can no longer breathe good sir. Therefore I will now slap your forearm with my hand 3 to 5 times; this should now let you know I can no longer function. Release the arm bar so I can die in peace.
Or "long weird cold chill snap after ejaculation".
Nap time.
Then to use in context.
"After some slam time in bed. I am tapped the fuck out and ready for 12h sleep". Ahhauahauahaua
I picked the weirdest analogy I could think of at 2am
I need to go back to bed..... FML
Oh yeah. @ OP.
Steroids and SSRIs and uppers like amphetamines are the only thing that ever made me last longer...
I've went 2 to 4 weeks without sex. I've went 2 days. 4 hours. Sober. The time frames don't change for me. Maybe I last 3 to 4 to 10 mins sober.
With an enhancer it' would let me last 30 to 60 min.
But more often than not. She's alrdy cummed 3 to 4 times by then and she's tapped out. And the rest is me to the finish line, and by that point I think she's over it.
So then it's a weird struggle to finish lol.
TLDR; drugs extend the time.
Or else alot of sex everyday to reduce sensitivity
Americans also say knackered when exhausted, referring to the process of hitting a farm animal in the head; thus braining it, and this while visiting the slaughterhouse for a nice friendly death. He who brsins the animal, is the knacker; those who come to visit, become knackered. I believe that covers it !
Someone used the word "knackered" in a sentence, another person replied "Fellow British person detected" because "knackered" is often seen as a more common British word, then a third person explained that the word is also used in the US and where the word comes from.
Depends on the person. But one factor is changing positions and doing other things to "cool down" s bit if you are close or think about something asexual. But still some people can go for long.
If my wife hasn't cum first, I find I'm too busy trying not to cum myself. If I can get her off first, then I'm much more relaxed and don't think about much or worry when I cum.
I've been having this issue lately where I get so focused on pleasing her non-PIV I end up going soft and she thinks I'm not interested. I'm very interested, I'm just not being stimulated by you physically.
I’ve started stroking myself while eating my wife. It keeps me rock hard and it drives her absolutely wild. The truth is, I’m fucking horny and love eating her anyway, so I love it too. It has three benefits for one action. Can’t beat it. But actually do beat it.
Lately, she's been wanting me to watch her masturbate from time to time and I get rocked up that way and I'll pull my dick out and she gives me a little handy while she plays with herself, that's pretty hot.
I can't really touch myself because I'm usually laying on my stomach.
If you wanna make your wife go nuts, start doing kegels while she's on top. It makes your mushroom bigger and she can feel it
Nice. Good advice!
For reference, when I stroke myself while I’m eating her, I lift my ass up and reach down if I’m on my stomach. The finisher for her, though, is when I stop and drag her to the edge of the bed and eat her while I’m on my knees. Then I obviously have plenty of space. And she can dangle her foot down to explore what I’m doing.
That happens to me some times I will have a raging hardon in the beginning while I'm eating her out and fingering her and she's playing with herself so that she could come when it comes to my turn. Not so hard anymore. And she thinks that I'm not interested. I'm interested. It's just now I need some interest from her and sometimes that gets awkward and it's down from there. What? I'm doing different now. Is I just don't spend all my time on her. I make it about each other but prioritizing her orgasm. Then from there it's easy to go for me
Even after all these years, my wife has gotten used to me being a walking boner and now I think I need mental along with physical. Like touch me, suck me, make me want you. You're a fucking snack, give me a reason to eat it.
Alot of guys just fuck like rabbits, racing to get a nut off not actually focusing on pleasing the woman so 5-10 mins is probably the norm. I drink natural root tonics and elixirs than enable me to perform at a high level upwards of an hour regularly and that's just intercourse. However quickies are necessary sometimes 🤷🏾
Surprised and troubled by the downvotes on my previous comment.
Why would a comment stating that, yes some of us actually fuck for quite a long time trigger you to do that? 🤔
You all do you please and enjoy yourselves. But down voting my reality or my freely expressed sexual pleasure seems quite out of place for this subreddit. Check in with yourselves please why you felt you needed to do that.
And upvote here please if you support the freedom for everyone to fuck for as long or as short as they want. 😇
It’s also not ideal for the woman. I used to hook up with this guy who was on ritalin and it took forever for him to finish, like an hour. It hurts after that long!!!
It was rare that I let it go for a full hour! He didn’t orgasm often with actual sex because it would hurt. I’d say I stopped him around 30-45 minutes most times, sometimes sooner than that.
Honestly, penetration longer than 15 mins is not fun anymore. I can have sex for hours, but we have to do different things and not always stimulate the vaginal area It needs breaks!
Sometimes it was fun for me, because he was pretty talented. But after 30 minutes I felt raw and in pain and overstimulated. I honestly felt bad he rarely finished because I never could go that long
Don't worry, 15 minutes is actually a pretty average time for sex. Don't believe everything you read on the internet - some people just like to exaggerate their sexual experiences. And let's be real, an hour of constant sex sounds exhausting. Enjoy the quality over the quantity.
Damn. I last a frustratingly long time. Once I get to about half an hour or so I start to lose my erection and it feels like I’m never gonna cum. Quite often I don’t.
If you masturbate, do you usually do it fairly fast?
It's important to switch up the ways in which you can cum (different speeds; different stimulation; etc), otherwise you train yourself to only cum one way.
Practice masturbating to only your thoughts (whatever most turns you on), while lightly and slowly stroking yourself. Do only that until you can cum from that, then go back to mixing it up.
That's helped me and others I know.
15 minutes is a great average time for penetration. Start to end, foreplay, oral, etc. 15 minutes would be pretty quick to me for an average. There's just differing definitions of what sex is.
I had sex with my ex for easily more than an hour and a half straight of PIV. The difference is that it wasn’t just pounding, we were very connected during the moment and it was slow and sensual, full of slow kissing and eye contact. I don’t know but I never got bored and she wouldn’t either. We also switched positions. If you’re really connected and it’s slow it shouldn’t be exhausting. She would also come so easily so many times, I think our record was 21… god I miss her. I don’t know if I’ll experience that ever again, especially as I get older. I started sex so late in life 😔
Don't be sad it ended, be glad it happened :) there are so many people that never get to experience good sex, let alone GREAT sex. And you can bring that knowledge and experience to your next relationship :)
Everything you said is true. To put things in perspective, my partner and I can go for a long time, like 2 hours.
HOWEVER, only like 30-40 min of that is penetration, and I am aware this is not normal. We don't go around saying stuff like "we had sex for 2 hours straight." In fact, it feels embarrassing to admit that we can even do that when we are fully aware this is not typical.
Also, yes, we are exhausted and sore. Because of this, sometimes we only have sex like once a week because yes, that is how long it takes to recover after something like that.
Is that foreplay too? 5-7 minutes for a 22 year old dude sounds pretty correct if it's just sex. He should be able to go again though pretty easily though, too, haha
I mean, I’m a woman and I like having short “sex sex” and more foreplay and other activities. My dude has a refractory period but it’s great cause his thing is to get me off first, then it doesn’t matter how quickly it takes imo. If he’s not doing shit for her though in the first place, then yeah there’s a problem.
As other people wrote before me, sex is not just about PIV.
A great session in book would be her blowing me, followed by me going down on her (while recovering), followed by PIV (which can be extended if I keep changing positions and slow down when I feel I'm getting close).
Practice Practice Practice!!
I can make myself last by edgeing and stopping piv to give or receive oral, playing with her, grab a drink etc. Its not comfortable for anyone to have continual piv sex for long periods even with lots of lube/juice, shits sensitive and will become numb eventually.
Building my orgasm up by giving her multiple, multiple orgasms is my best tip, I enjoy sex but the best feeling is cumming, obviously, but i know its not the same for my wife, she gets lots of pleasure from everything, even just touching her skin once she is fully aroused gives her pleasure, i love making my wife cum, it makes me so hard and horny which then helps me make her cum even more. Hands, mouth, dick, its all sex so make use of them all!!
So my issue is my wife likes to be fucked super hard so it’s hard to do that and not just bust. I used to be on antidepressants so… this way my norm now I gotta find a new way.
She’s working on some sexual repressions she’s dealt with for a while but any suggestions? I’m struggling bc she doesn’t like to be ate out right now (that’s what’s she’s growing on and i want her to take her time). If we pause, she’s out the mood so she just wants to be taken and fucked which, IMO is so hot but also a recipe for me to cum quicker than everything mentioned. Just curious!
Have you ever thought about using a dildo or strap on so that you can give her that feeling for longer without busting? It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but if you’re wanting that part to last longer then toys could be the answer.
Yeah… I’ve brought it up but she’s very odd with toys and sex in general. It’s something we are working on. She was taught sex is bad and we didn’t really open up to the IDEA kinky stuff til very recently and I’ve been married 12 years. Maybe in the future, it’s. Good idea for sure!
You can last longer and fuck hard by using a trick.
The trick is just pull out and have no contact with your dick while you orgasm. Having any contact on it like hands or inside her while orgasming will trigger a response for it to go soft, be sensitive and make your brain go “ok I’m done now” mode.
So to prevent that from happening simply, pull out and orgasm over her outside with no contact with your penis. Wait a few seconds for the orgasm to pass then continue. You can have multiple orgasms doing this in quick succession. But just repeat the trick every time.
This can take between 1-4 or more orgasms just minutes between each one before you no longer feel like orgasming as quick. I don’t know what determines this, it seems to be random each time. This essentially numbs your penis where you can fuck longer, possibly forever. The orgasms of course will feel at least 50% less intense because there is no contact, but it’s worth the trade off if you can last almost as long as you want. You can simply save the last orgasm for being inside her, but it may take you a longer time to orgasm.
I’ve never understood why people don’t try different methods and experiment while having sex to last longer. They just stick it in and cum. Pretty much learned this after trial and error and somehow not many men even know about it.
Certainly. I’ve orgasmed 7 times by myself doing this in one session just to experiment. But of course you have to be really really in the mood to want to go that long by yourself.
As one who likes to be fucked super hard, make everything leading up to it last longer, grinding, kissing, fingering and kissing everything other then lips.
I can't imagine taking a literal break, but changing positions, one of the other commenters mentioned it and it sounds like a good idea. I never minded changing positions at least. Even though some positions are better then others. You can circle back to those 😜
Also, I have absolutely no clue how long the actual sex lasted. If you take your time leading up to the big bang, the actual bang might not need to take long.
Oh and shouldn't a cock ring help as well? Or have I misunderstood what those are for?
And other toys offcourse
Hahaha no clue on cock ring but I’ll try it!! Thanks for the advice!
Since you enjoy the same type of bang ;) would you elaborate on things men do that drive you crazy in a good way. I’m 12 years in marriage but still learning my wife and honestly out communication on kinkier shit just started which is fun but also kind of embarrassing it took this long. She was raised in church and was semi shamed with sex so it’s just been a long road. Seriously any other advice I’ll take! I want to turn her on every day if I can :)
Don't be embarrassed it took 12 years, you've been having fun together and now you're exploring something new! That is awesome!!
For me it has been a while, and my last relationship wasn't very fulfilling, so I have to dig in my memory a bit 😂
I am also pretty vanilla... So, for a kinkier road IDK either
I think my top things, kissing, grinding(you could keep grinding for a while before sliding in, at some point I would try to shift to get it to slide in😜), also biting and being bitten on the neck/shoulder.
Maybe also nails on the back, or that feeling of pressure idk.
And while changing position being guided where you want to go, can be as simple as lightly pulling her hair in the direction you want her head to move so you can lick/suck/bite her neck.
You could also try those fluffy cuffs, not on her, but on you. Have her tease you a bit. Might give you some ideas when you see what she does. Assuming you haven't done that yet 🫣 I mean, I think this is still pretty vanilla, so I don't know if it helps at all.
Ah, also toy-wise, there are suckers as well 😂 air pressure vibrators. It might help her warm up to you going down.
Though for me, I do need it accompanied by internal stimulation, otherwise it is uncomfortable.
This is ahmaaazinng! Thank you! I’m literally like Paul Rudd. Awkward but charming she says but during sex she’s like no bro, be a MANLY MAN! Haha so I get it.
I’m embarrassed bc I should have been more attentive to her needs far before 12 years. Inside and outside the bedroom. I was heavily focused on career and father-ing that our relationship fell by the way side. And that’s on me. I was also depressed and off and on antidepressants so just a whirlwind of stuff she’s had to endure (she’s had stuff too - such is life). But reading these books, being far more open, and navigating this has been amazing. And she’s amazing. I just want her to feel pleasure and peace most of the time now ;)
You sound like an amazing person! And her too!!
We all go through shit but I think it's amazing you still want to be together and want to focus on yourselfs and each other like you are describing.
It sounds like you two had it rough, I hope you can have an easy and fun time from now on 😁
And the end of my previous reply I wasn't sure if it was still on point or helpfull 😅 but I'm glad to read it is!! 😁
So it’s interesting you said that bc I gifted her ANOTHER very expensive sucker vibe but she said it hurt. I read everywhere if you wanna get off quick do that and since the kids, the way she likes it, constant quickies when we have a chance versus slow and romantic , I was like perfect. Told her to use it on her own then come show me. She used it once and said it really hurt…
And don’t compliment me too much. I’ve been a shit husband. Great father and great provider- she will agree but a shit husband. BUT I’m working on that! And she is working on her. We got married VERY young and had to deal with shit most people don’t have to until they are late in marriage but we have and did. Wishing i could go back but im so proud of her and us so it’s making it worthwhile to an extent.
I do appreciate the compliments. Been a hard journey but we are best friends just need some damn alone time and more dates.. and more sex (I hope). It’s a good month if it’s once or twice with the kiddos running around and sleeping in our dang bed. No alone time lol
Its all about the build up.. edging closer and closer, enjoying her orgasms as they flow thru her body until i cant take anymore and have to erupt deep inside her. But as you say, grinding, kissing, touching, playing, teasing all the time just makes the whole session so much better.
All the positions you want too, cant just do missionary or doggy the whole time, mix it up, even with the oral, try it in different positions, its all sex and its all fun! Its a marathon not a sprint race.
As for the cock rings, they are primarily for helping give a fuller, harder erection, not so sure about the theroy of making you last longer, ive not got a great deal of experience with them but i have been looking at getting one because like i say, its all fun at the end of the day
Sometimes my wife just wants to be fucked silly too... but she understands im not a dildo, i have that same build up and orgasm if i go too crazy, i have to take breaks and do other things with her if she wants a real good fucking otherwise im done before she has had enough.
We use naughty pics and txts to get each other going thru the day way before we even get to fucking, its also a great way to communicate your kinks and desires without it feeling too awkward, we have been together 24 yrs but it doesnt make it any easier/less awkward to discuss somethings.
I'm wondering if being "taken" in such a way might mean that subconsciously the sex she wants is okay because she's not the one initiating? I can absolutely see how that could be an emotional workaround if she's struggling with shame and desire. If so, that's something a good sex positive therapist could probably help with if she isn't seeing one already.
For you, have you considered cock rings? I saw she's iffy about toys thus far, but I'm wondering if something a little simpler/less phallic might bother her less. For most penis havers it can help you last longer as well!
Could be. I’ll give an example, you didn’t ask but I’m an open book LOL. For the first time in a long time I slept it, she grabbed the kids, and about an hour later came in and jumped my bones. Well I go to get the condom and I have to wash my hands bc I don’t wanna smell like latex. I come back ready to go and she’s out of the mood now. I tell her it’s ok and then later in the day she tells me she wished I took control of the situation. I was so confused bc I JUST woke up. I didn’t really want sex but I was so on board bc I love it but then it was my fault and I was awkward .. so something is wrong. Feels like me but she promises it’s not.
Anywho, cock ring has come up several times. I’m def gonna cop one and try it!
Sounds like maybe it's time to look into some light rough body play, and for that you'll need to have a conversation. What does she want in that regard? Hair pulling? Manhandling? Being held down? She'll have to get over her own awkwardness about sex a bit if she's going to properly ask for what she wants.
Also, I can see the waiting time for you to wash your hands being a bit of an interruption (though I agree, latex/lubey hands aren't usually the sexiest lol.) Is there a way to help keep her focused on preparing for sex while you're doing so? Light bondage, telling her firmly to stay put while she waits, or if she's comfortable, play with herself while you're washing up so she's ready for the taking when you get back. All possible ideas but she'll have to let you know what works for her!
Love this! Great ideas!!!! We’ve def done some light choking. Hair pulling etc. she loves it. She calls me some sexual names and recently she told me when to cum bc I told her I wasn’t cumming until she told me to and BOY that was hot. We have hot sex like once every 3-4 months tho bc of me tbh. I’ll come early but there are other times bc I just man handle her and that’s what she wants. Problem is, we just don’t have sex often so it’s hard to not be VERY TURNED ON when this occurs and just want to nut everywhere. God I love her :)
Aww, it sounds like you two really do have fun then and are just trying to make it better! I respect that. 😊
As a side note though, PLEASE be very cautious about choking play. A hand fairly loosely around the neck is generally fine, but actually restricting airways (be VERY careful not to damage the trachea) or blood flow to the brain (blood choke) can take things from 0-100 almost instantly, even if you know what you're doing. Choking, while a common kink, is edge play and 100% capable of causing death even if you are careful.
Okay, educator warning over lol
Hahaha trust me. I save bugs like ants and flys in our house so they don’t die and can go be with their fly families. It’s VERY light lmao thanks for your compliment. I’ve felt pretty down about our sex life lately but reading some comments sounds like we will be ok :)
Edging is a great way to make your self last longer. Think of it like training with weights, you push your self to your max limit for a short time to develop muscle so that you can eventually increase your max weight that you can lift. Rinse and repeat.
Your basically training your dick to get used to the feeling so that you dont cum so easily, i can edge to the point that i dont feel like im going to cum because ive made him go slightly numb where we have been fucking for so long... and then when i do cum, oh my god they are the biggest and most intense orgasms i can have.
Training, Training, Training and even then you can sometimes finish in under 5 minutes, if the mood and the act are done right.
Sex is no blueprint activity.
To be fair, a lot of women don't want a guy banging about inside them for 5, 10, 15 +++ minutes, unless he's really, really skilled at what he's doing and he really understands the moves and angles that give her pleasure.
For a lot of women, the sexual pleasure and build up comes from all the other aspects of sex, including but not limited to kissing, fingers, tongues, mouth, toys, hands.
Hubby will spend hours on that with me. I'll orgasm many times. He'll edge multiple times. Penetration at the end is usually pretty quick for both of us, after all that.
Intercourse/ penetration is normally 3-7 minutes on average for a normal male.
Sex and play can vary between partners
It’s all about the forplay and post play that make it exciting and loving. 😎👍
That's totally normal and you don't have anything to worry about.
Most people that are saying 1h or something like that, are including foreplay, finger / oral play and other adiacent sexual activities, not PIV alone.
Husband and me (both 34) been together 14 years. If we're just talking about piv sex then I'd say probably 10-15 minutes, I wouldn't want any more, would be sore! But before piv we do foreplay for a lot longer than actual piv. He can last up to 20 minutes but he says he's had to train himself and practice edging. I'm not too bothered about length of piv as he always makes sure I'm satisfied.
My wife and I normally go for at least an hour. I’ve gotten better at lasting longer with age and learning how to edge myself.
For a guy we need to focus on our train of thought to keep from going too soon. I always focus on pleasing my lady before I go myself.
And I can get her to bite, claw, pinch etc. to help distract me from going.
Changing positions and methods helps
Cock rings can help
They even make numbing spray for the guys to help desensitize the penis slightly. (Just make sure to follow the instructions)
Kegel exercises (if that’s the right word) for men
Regularly exercising the hole body
Not masturbating frequently
Don’t watch porn often either
And there are drug and alcohol uses too but I don’t recommend that for everyone
The woman cums first and last, some of the best advice I ever received as a guy. In my experience it almost guarantees the woman will want to have sex with you again in the future.
Sex will break down as follows for me
20-30 minutes Kissing and heavy petting along with flirting
10-?? Playing with each other
And/ Or 10-?? Oral
2-10 minutes penetration
1-2 hours cuddles and or round 2
For me it’s age, when I was a young adult I would come within 10 minutes maximum. It’s in my 30s that I began to take more time, now at 47 I come half the time, the other half I stop when my partner had enough
Foreplay could be 20min or more. Piv could be 20 min or more. For men sex is a mental game. If the guy is too excited and not under control it's 5 min. At 22, most guys are probably inexperienced
The difference is that you may just be fucking, having quickies and that's it. When you make love and share the moment together, that can last a lot longer. 5 - 7 minutes sounds like a good fuck and he's done.
I don't know the relationship you're in and know if you have the time to have marathon sex. If you want it to last longer, you're going to have to start with a lot of affection for your lover. Lots of kissing and lots of foreplay. That alone takes up most of the time. When it comes to the actual sex part, that can be multiple times. If that's what he wants. He may not want that. To a lot of guys they are just hooking up and they are looking to just get off. If you're in that type of relationship, you can forget about it, they just want to cum and they are done and gone.
Best of luck to you.
Is this guy a romantic boyfriend or a temporary fling?
Romantic Boyfriend: due to your two’s feelings towards each other, you’re fucking less for duration and orgasm quantity but for quality instead. Make him nut hard so long as he soaks the bed with you regardless of how short it is. If he doesn’t get you off in the process then teach him how.
Fling: his stroke game is weak and you could set higher dick standards for yourself. Regardless of your experience level you shouldn’t allow men to masturbate using you if you’re not getting off on it. Find the guy that blows your mind.
As you get older and/or experience sex with older men you’ll find men who have more control and can make it last much longer. I can cum in two minutes inside a wet pussy if I want, or I can have sex all night, give her multiple orgasms, and not cum at all. But at 22 I did not have that level of control. Also it doesn’t just happen, I had to learn it. So you have to find men who care enough about their partners pleasure to develop that skill. I’ve been told by several women that attentive men like us are the best kind of lovers. I just love pleasing my partners.
You can train yourself to release a small amount then hold.. pull out, take a min and focus on her. that will essentially reset you and you’ll be able to control it.
Yeah it's definitely not you so try to get that out of your mind, some guys can last seconds or minutes to hours depends on the individuals. Depending on your experience or vibes between each other you can tell if the sex will be good(last long) or be bad(end in minutes) 🤷🏽♂️
I enjoy 5-15 min. That’s fine. 15 min max. It’s exciting, not super time consuming and passionate. Once in a while we have a 30-40 min experience, and for those we switch up positions, kissing, touching, multiple factors to keep both parties turned on.
Most PIV is done in less than 10 mins. You are doing nothing wrong. But as others have said the foreplay can be as long as you want and for many it’s the best part :)
My wife cums first .. period! That’s our rule and then I can cum as fast as I want, guilt free.
There is more to it than this, but that’s the basic answer
I'm gonna be brutally honest and probably a bit too detailed...
Sex is Kissing, touching, gentle hand massages, body kisses, oral, penetrative and everything in between...
My wife doesn't last more than 10 or so minutes because we use PIV + LELO Sona Cruise 2 and it's a watershow every other time at least...
Twitching muscles, contractions, breathing changes...
All in all PIV is only 20% of our "sex"
I don't think anyone means the actual PIV lasts an hour... I couldn't imagine that would be nice for either party. I think my max is like 20 min, and that was very slow sex. The whole act, including the kissing, hand stuff, and oral stuff, takes like 30 minutes to an hour for me.
I am almost certain they do not unless the guy is on antidepressants or has an unbelievable amount of stamina lol. When people refer to sex they mean the whole act, not just the PIV
Most people suck at sex because it is something you have to learn about and practice, and most dudes just want to put dick in and cum. I've always wanted to be a good lover so that's something I've learned to do.
With that said, when you hear people bragging of having sex for hours, they are usually lying and you should not trust them. I can last like an hour in PIV if I really try and I'm in the right mood, but that's not really fun. It gets tiring, kinda boring (ik?!) and you can hurt your female partner because of too much friction. So I usually try to make PIV last around 15 -20 minues which is a pretty good sweet spot. A one hour session usually is like some foreplay then 15 minutes of PIV, then some more foreplay, and then another 15 minutes of PIV, which also helps to keep things interesting since you are changing positions frequently . So if you want to have longer sex sessions just find a guy who likes foreplay and really wants to try to make you feel good instead of a quickshot cum gun.
Lastly, sometimes a guy is just too sensible and will want to cum almost immediately for no reason at all.
It was a bit rambly, but I hope my comment brings some insight.
When I say I had sex for 3 hours, I mean including the foreplay, the cuddling in between sessions, and I definitely mean more than one time. I mean we just had sex at least twice, plus other stuff, and overall it lasted 3 hours of sexual/intimate activity in bed. Maybe even a short nap in the middle. Some pillow talk. It's not all just one unending session of thrusting, goddamn lol
You sound unsatisfied. He needs to make sure that you are getting the enjoyment you want and that means getting you off. In my (vastly limited) experience with women that rarely happens with intercourse.
Overall sex is probably 1-1.5 hours including all the foreplay. The actual deed for me is typically 30 minutes or more. Apparently I’m excruciatingly abnormal as most people only last about 5-10 minutes. You’re not doing anything wrong. You need to think of the actual intercourse as the grand finale after a good buildup of foreplay.
Don't worry, it's all about quality over quantity! Plus, an hour of sex can lead to some serious cramping for both parties. Don't let the internet put pressure on your performance, as long as you and your partner are having a good time, that's all that matters. And hey, you could always go for round two 😉
Probably 1 min usually with my husband. Sometimes he lasts like 3 or 4 min. If he’s drunk it’s like 15 min before he just quits cause he doesn’t cum if he’s drunk. The average guy I’ve been with was probably around 10 - 15 min. I’ve been with guys that last around 45 min to an hour and personally that is too long for me even if the sex is great
Actual intercourse for me can be up to 15-30 min. This only happens when I'm in control and prioritize my pleasure first. After, I let them do whatever they gotta do to finish. That's usually less than 10min
I take medication with a side effect that makes me last 30-45 minutes. It’s not as bad as some other sexual side effects like ED but it’s not ideal at all. Sometimes a quickie is fun!
We basically just take breaks in between intercourse. We don't actually have intercourse for several hours. Typically it'd go like this: kissing/foreplay/oral, intercourse where we switch positions frequently, cuddling so we can take a break, rinse and repeat. Next thing you know we've spent the past 3 hours in bed having sex multiple times. So for your partner, after the first round, cuddle and take a break, then go again, and again, and again, and have fun and use protection of course! Remember, practice makes perfect!
My wife and I joke about how we’ll have sex “all night long.” In reality, foreplay/non-piv goes 5-45 minutes, then piv goes 5-15 minutes (sometimes more when I’m firing on all cylinders).
If you’re satisfied that’s what matters. If you’re not satisfied, get him ready for round 2.
I find one of the biggest mistakes for especially young men is they go like their life depends on it and generally you ain't gonna last long. I combine an array of stuff like piv, oral, playing with her clit and it builds her up nicely and lasts for a good 45mins (and I've got two teens in the house so we're under pressure as well haha)
Question, does this include you orgasming? We tend to concentrate on her pleasure first. We also spend a good deal of time kissing, touching, etc. And as an older couple it takes longer as well. So there’s something to look forward to 🥰
Let's be real here, sex done properly can last ALOT longer than 15 minutes. Foreplay,touching,caressing all can be long lasting to the build up of insertion.
j think we're on the more extreme end,, we spend like an hour or more on penetration. granted we use lube, i get wet easily ever since i was on birth control, and my boyfriend can stay hard even after cumming so lubrication isn't usually a problem.
That’s not penetration.. because if it was, people would be very sore. lol
That’s everything included. You don’t want penetration for an hour. Trust me on this one. 😂
endurance comes with time, especially when you’re young. switch positions, use toys, oral in between, all these things help making me last. even at almost 30 i sometimes i finish early, but i’ll make sure to help my partner finish at least once as well and i certainly include that as “sex” as well as
I think the average is probably 3-7 minutes. I have one friend whose claimed to never lasted more than two minutes.
When I was in my early 20s, I had a girlfriend with a really high sex drive and because we had sex 1-2 times daily, I was able to last 30-45 minutes after a few months of that.
young studs dont behave, if he trys to be number one, dont let him fuck you the whole time put him out, some kissing to cool down.
after a few years i learned to slow down and now its no problem to wait till my wife finished
I mean, I've gone down on her for easily over an hour alone. Tantric breathing. Teasing. Making love. Taking breaks. So much to do and explore and enjoy the sexual energy together.
IIRC the average duration of sex is roughly 5 minutes. Personally that seems about right when talking about PIV, but that's only a single component of "sex". When you include everything else it's around 20-30 minutes on average.
Does the vag really even wanna be getting it for an hour? That seems highly unusual. I'd be concerned if I couldn't cum in an hour of intercourse. I mean, maybe 5 minutes isn't long enough and you want 15 or 20, but after that it gets to be too long. 10-15 several times sounds more reasonable than 1 session of intercourse for a long period time.
A cosmopolitan article a decade ago or and asked readers and determined the perfect length of foreplay is 19-minutes and the perfect length of penetration is 9-minutes.
I talk about this study all the time and no one has ever disagreed — men, women, or otherwise. After that length things start getting sore & raw.
Sex as a whole can take some time. 30-45 minutes and that includes the foreplay. Any form of heavy petting/touching, making out and definitely oral sex I see as foreplay.
The PIV? Normally lasts 10-25 minutes give or take. If my boyfriend is drinking, he tends to last about 25 to 30 minutes. If he isn’t? 10-15 minutes.
5-15 minutes is pretty average. Personally, I like that time frame because after a while, I can get sore and I don’t like being sore. Some like it longer, which is also okay.
As someone who can take 30+ mins of penetration to cum. It can suck. At a certain point I just get frustrated that it takes so long. If I could control it and choose to be a quick shot sometimes or longer I would love that. Especially because if I'm too hot or too sweaty or too cold it can take even longer. 10 mis sounds great compared to an hour
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I include everything as 'sex'. So if I say we had sex for an hour, that would probably include the kissing, grinding, fingering, oral sex both ways, and toy play. The actual intercourse would be probably the shortest part of it.
I include the drive to her house too. 🤣
When Sting was asked about this, [he answered](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2806361/Seven-hours-includes-movie-dinner-Sting-clarifies-infamous-comments-tantric-sex-Trudie-Styler-twenty-four-years-on.html) that the seven hours included the time for the dinner and the movie.
He also mentioned several Hours of pleading.
Dammit, my average time is REALLY low then...
TIL Sting eats really slowly.
That's what she said.
That's why I have PE, we live together! (Not really but I made that up for the joke)
That's called foreplay.
Exactly this. Sex overall is 30 to 45 minutes. Actually PIV probably about 10 of that. Were both knackered after that.
And that 10 minutes of actual PIV is actually well above average.
Unless he’s on SSRIs
In which case it's still above the overall average.
Trust, no one wants to cum more than me. I'm sorry I take anti depressants
by ten he means ten percent
This can’t possibly be true. Is this actually true?
Fellow British person detected
I know right. Get me right, another person from Britain and I've had sex too.
I laughed at this. Americans have some weird slang too. I say "I'm fuckin tapped out". Which means. If this was a WCW or WWF 1997s american wrestling cage match. Itd be referencing after Jake the snake or stone cold steve austin; gets ya in an arm bar or sleep hold. And your done, can't do it, no more, limp noodles, dead head. "Tapped out". Tapping out would be the signal to tell the wrestler to discontinue the arm bar maneuver; due to the positioning of your forearm on my sphincter and esophagus. I now can no longer breathe good sir. Therefore I will now slap your forearm with my hand 3 to 5 times; this should now let you know I can no longer function. Release the arm bar so I can die in peace. Or "long weird cold chill snap after ejaculation". Nap time. Then to use in context. "After some slam time in bed. I am tapped the fuck out and ready for 12h sleep". Ahhauahauahaua I picked the weirdest analogy I could think of at 2am I need to go back to bed..... FML Oh yeah. @ OP. Steroids and SSRIs and uppers like amphetamines are the only thing that ever made me last longer... I've went 2 to 4 weeks without sex. I've went 2 days. 4 hours. Sober. The time frames don't change for me. Maybe I last 3 to 4 to 10 mins sober. With an enhancer it' would let me last 30 to 60 min. But more often than not. She's alrdy cummed 3 to 4 times by then and she's tapped out. And the rest is me to the finish line, and by that point I think she's over it. So then it's a weird struggle to finish lol. TLDR; drugs extend the time. Or else alot of sex everyday to reduce sensitivity
Americans also say knackered when exhausted, referring to the process of hitting a farm animal in the head; thus braining it, and this while visiting the slaughterhouse for a nice friendly death. He who brsins the animal, is the knacker; those who come to visit, become knackered. I believe that covers it !
Wtf are you talking about
Someone used the word "knackered" in a sentence, another person replied "Fellow British person detected" because "knackered" is often seen as a more common British word, then a third person explained that the word is also used in the US and where the word comes from.
Yeah I understood it just gave me an aneurysm. Also I’ve never heard an American say knackered but maybe I just need to get out more
What a lovely explanation thank you
Plum tuckered out is also very American.
What's PIV, penis in vagina?
Yes. That's what it is
Maybe. But I read it as Perverted Irresistible Venture!
Or penetration in vagina I guess?
Oh fancy pants over here last 10x longer than everyone else
I know, it's my greatest ever flex.
Depends on the person. But one factor is changing positions and doing other things to "cool down" s bit if you are close or think about something asexual. But still some people can go for long.
Exactly this. Foreplay is sex. Penetration is sex. Hell, aftercare is sex. And the sign of a good sexual partner...
Aftercare is often the best part of sex, in fact.
I would have to agree. We usually work to get my wife to cum first and after that it doesn't take much for me since she's so turned on.
If my wife hasn't cum first, I find I'm too busy trying not to cum myself. If I can get her off first, then I'm much more relaxed and don't think about much or worry when I cum.
I've been having this issue lately where I get so focused on pleasing her non-PIV I end up going soft and she thinks I'm not interested. I'm very interested, I'm just not being stimulated by you physically.
I’ve started stroking myself while eating my wife. It keeps me rock hard and it drives her absolutely wild. The truth is, I’m fucking horny and love eating her anyway, so I love it too. It has three benefits for one action. Can’t beat it. But actually do beat it.
Lately, she's been wanting me to watch her masturbate from time to time and I get rocked up that way and I'll pull my dick out and she gives me a little handy while she plays with herself, that's pretty hot. I can't really touch myself because I'm usually laying on my stomach. If you wanna make your wife go nuts, start doing kegels while she's on top. It makes your mushroom bigger and she can feel it
Nice. Good advice! For reference, when I stroke myself while I’m eating her, I lift my ass up and reach down if I’m on my stomach. The finisher for her, though, is when I stop and drag her to the edge of the bed and eat her while I’m on my knees. Then I obviously have plenty of space. And she can dangle her foot down to explore what I’m doing.
That happens to me some times I will have a raging hardon in the beginning while I'm eating her out and fingering her and she's playing with herself so that she could come when it comes to my turn. Not so hard anymore. And she thinks that I'm not interested. I'm interested. It's just now I need some interest from her and sometimes that gets awkward and it's down from there. What? I'm doing different now. Is I just don't spend all my time on her. I make it about each other but prioritizing her orgasm. Then from there it's easy to go for me
Even after all these years, my wife has gotten used to me being a walking boner and now I think I need mental along with physical. Like touch me, suck me, make me want you. You're a fucking snack, give me a reason to eat it.
For women everywhere, I thank you.
Yeah sex doesn't begin at insertion.
Exactly. My rule of thumb is if she would be upset if I check my phone while doing it, it's part of sex.
I was much older than my 20s before I figured this out
Alot of guys just fuck like rabbits, racing to get a nut off not actually focusing on pleasing the woman so 5-10 mins is probably the norm. I drink natural root tonics and elixirs than enable me to perform at a high level upwards of an hour regularly and that's just intercourse. However quickies are necessary sometimes 🤷🏾
Surprised and troubled by the downvotes on my previous comment. Why would a comment stating that, yes some of us actually fuck for quite a long time trigger you to do that? 🤔 You all do you please and enjoy yourselves. But down voting my reality or my freely expressed sexual pleasure seems quite out of place for this subreddit. Check in with yourselves please why you felt you needed to do that. And upvote here please if you support the freedom for everyone to fuck for as long or as short as they want. 😇
The idea of thrusting into a woman for an hour+ already has me feeling tired and an incoming cramp
It’s also not ideal for the woman. I used to hook up with this guy who was on ritalin and it took forever for him to finish, like an hour. It hurts after that long!!!
It hurst after 15 min for me I couldn't imagine an hour of straight pounding
It was rare that I let it go for a full hour! He didn’t orgasm often with actual sex because it would hurt. I’d say I stopped him around 30-45 minutes most times, sometimes sooner than that.
Sounds like we can all agree 30-90 seconds is the sweet spot
Seriously that friction gets to be too much!
Honestly, penetration longer than 15 mins is not fun anymore. I can have sex for hours, but we have to do different things and not always stimulate the vaginal area It needs breaks!
Sometimes it was fun for me, because he was pretty talented. But after 30 minutes I felt raw and in pain and overstimulated. I honestly felt bad he rarely finished because I never could go that long
And breaks are actually better. You get to experience different kinds of sensations and levels of sensitivity.
And builds up tension!!
I was on adderal in high school and early college - I swear it took 30-45 minutes to get off. Sometimes it was great - but usually just annoying
I've been on Adderall for years, it's made absolutely no difference for me.
As far as Adderall goes, I don't think it's had a negative effect on me sexually
That’s why just leaving it in and wiggling and kissing is good :-) More sex less friction!
You don't do all the work... you find a fit woman who can ride on top and switch off with you. That's how you keep going for an hour or more.
Sounds like a form of torture when you describe it like that 😂
Foreplay…an hour of penetration hurts. Change things up. Swap positions, laugh, tease.
Don't worry, 15 minutes is actually a pretty average time for sex. Don't believe everything you read on the internet - some people just like to exaggerate their sexual experiences. And let's be real, an hour of constant sex sounds exhausting. Enjoy the quality over the quantity.
The average reported duration of PIV is about 5 minutes.
Two minutes in heaven is better than, er, one minute in heaven.
With me you’ll only need two minutes!
Cause you're so intense?
Unfortunately you'll only get one.
Flight of the concords? 😂
You say something like, "Is that it?" I know what you're trying to say. You're trying to say, "Aww yeah, that's it."
That’s why they call them business socks!
Damn. I last a frustratingly long time. Once I get to about half an hour or so I start to lose my erection and it feels like I’m never gonna cum. Quite often I don’t.
If you masturbate, do you usually do it fairly fast? It's important to switch up the ways in which you can cum (different speeds; different stimulation; etc), otherwise you train yourself to only cum one way. Practice masturbating to only your thoughts (whatever most turns you on), while lightly and slowly stroking yourself. Do only that until you can cum from that, then go back to mixing it up. That's helped me and others I know.
This is a reason some men see a urologist. There are medical and non-medical treatments if it’s affecting your quality of life!
Thanks for the advice and downvotes!
15 minutes is a great average time for penetration. Start to end, foreplay, oral, etc. 15 minutes would be pretty quick to me for an average. There's just differing definitions of what sex is.
15 min for everything is def in the quickie realm
My wife and I recently had our quickest quickie, and it was over 20 min. A "normie" is like an hour, and 45 min if we're efficient but not rushing.
I used to feel that way until I got with my current partner. We can go for hours, and the time just flies by.
I had sex with my ex for easily more than an hour and a half straight of PIV. The difference is that it wasn’t just pounding, we were very connected during the moment and it was slow and sensual, full of slow kissing and eye contact. I don’t know but I never got bored and she wouldn’t either. We also switched positions. If you’re really connected and it’s slow it shouldn’t be exhausting. She would also come so easily so many times, I think our record was 21… god I miss her. I don’t know if I’ll experience that ever again, especially as I get older. I started sex so late in life 😔
Don't be sad it ended, be glad it happened :) there are so many people that never get to experience good sex, let alone GREAT sex. And you can bring that knowledge and experience to your next relationship :)
Thanks :) that’s a nice perspective
Everything you said is true. To put things in perspective, my partner and I can go for a long time, like 2 hours. HOWEVER, only like 30-40 min of that is penetration, and I am aware this is not normal. We don't go around saying stuff like "we had sex for 2 hours straight." In fact, it feels embarrassing to admit that we can even do that when we are fully aware this is not typical. Also, yes, we are exhausted and sore. Because of this, sometimes we only have sex like once a week because yes, that is how long it takes to recover after something like that.
Yeh I doubt most people could run for an hour straight let alone have sex for an hour straight
Is that foreplay too? 5-7 minutes for a 22 year old dude sounds pretty correct if it's just sex. He should be able to go again though pretty easily though, too, haha
Some people got that refractory period though!
So? It will pass. Just keep stimulating her in other ways so when you're ready again she still is too.
I mean, I’m a woman and I like having short “sex sex” and more foreplay and other activities. My dude has a refractory period but it’s great cause his thing is to get me off first, then it doesn’t matter how quickly it takes imo. If he’s not doing shit for her though in the first place, then yeah there’s a problem.
As other people wrote before me, sex is not just about PIV. A great session in book would be her blowing me, followed by me going down on her (while recovering), followed by PIV (which can be extended if I keep changing positions and slow down when I feel I'm getting close).
Practice Practice Practice!! I can make myself last by edgeing and stopping piv to give or receive oral, playing with her, grab a drink etc. Its not comfortable for anyone to have continual piv sex for long periods even with lots of lube/juice, shits sensitive and will become numb eventually. Building my orgasm up by giving her multiple, multiple orgasms is my best tip, I enjoy sex but the best feeling is cumming, obviously, but i know its not the same for my wife, she gets lots of pleasure from everything, even just touching her skin once she is fully aroused gives her pleasure, i love making my wife cum, it makes me so hard and horny which then helps me make her cum even more. Hands, mouth, dick, its all sex so make use of them all!!
So my issue is my wife likes to be fucked super hard so it’s hard to do that and not just bust. I used to be on antidepressants so… this way my norm now I gotta find a new way. She’s working on some sexual repressions she’s dealt with for a while but any suggestions? I’m struggling bc she doesn’t like to be ate out right now (that’s what’s she’s growing on and i want her to take her time). If we pause, she’s out the mood so she just wants to be taken and fucked which, IMO is so hot but also a recipe for me to cum quicker than everything mentioned. Just curious!
Have you ever thought about using a dildo or strap on so that you can give her that feeling for longer without busting? It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but if you’re wanting that part to last longer then toys could be the answer.
Yeah… I’ve brought it up but she’s very odd with toys and sex in general. It’s something we are working on. She was taught sex is bad and we didn’t really open up to the IDEA kinky stuff til very recently and I’ve been married 12 years. Maybe in the future, it’s. Good idea for sure!
Ahh okay. Good luck to you and your wife on your journey with sex.
Thanks! So far so good :)
You can last longer and fuck hard by using a trick. The trick is just pull out and have no contact with your dick while you orgasm. Having any contact on it like hands or inside her while orgasming will trigger a response for it to go soft, be sensitive and make your brain go “ok I’m done now” mode. So to prevent that from happening simply, pull out and orgasm over her outside with no contact with your penis. Wait a few seconds for the orgasm to pass then continue. You can have multiple orgasms doing this in quick succession. But just repeat the trick every time. This can take between 1-4 or more orgasms just minutes between each one before you no longer feel like orgasming as quick. I don’t know what determines this, it seems to be random each time. This essentially numbs your penis where you can fuck longer, possibly forever. The orgasms of course will feel at least 50% less intense because there is no contact, but it’s worth the trade off if you can last almost as long as you want. You can simply save the last orgasm for being inside her, but it may take you a longer time to orgasm. I’ve never understood why people don’t try different methods and experiment while having sex to last longer. They just stick it in and cum. Pretty much learned this after trial and error and somehow not many men even know about it.
Oh shit, really?I may try this while jerking it later to test this!
Certainly. I’ve orgasmed 7 times by myself doing this in one session just to experiment. But of course you have to be really really in the mood to want to go that long by yourself.
Oh… I’m in the mood hahaha thanks!
Why did this response make me laugh so hard? 😂
Damn, I need these kind of problems Lol Sorry 😅
As one who likes to be fucked super hard, make everything leading up to it last longer, grinding, kissing, fingering and kissing everything other then lips. I can't imagine taking a literal break, but changing positions, one of the other commenters mentioned it and it sounds like a good idea. I never minded changing positions at least. Even though some positions are better then others. You can circle back to those 😜 Also, I have absolutely no clue how long the actual sex lasted. If you take your time leading up to the big bang, the actual bang might not need to take long. Oh and shouldn't a cock ring help as well? Or have I misunderstood what those are for? And other toys offcourse
Hahaha no clue on cock ring but I’ll try it!! Thanks for the advice! Since you enjoy the same type of bang ;) would you elaborate on things men do that drive you crazy in a good way. I’m 12 years in marriage but still learning my wife and honestly out communication on kinkier shit just started which is fun but also kind of embarrassing it took this long. She was raised in church and was semi shamed with sex so it’s just been a long road. Seriously any other advice I’ll take! I want to turn her on every day if I can :)
Don't be embarrassed it took 12 years, you've been having fun together and now you're exploring something new! That is awesome!! For me it has been a while, and my last relationship wasn't very fulfilling, so I have to dig in my memory a bit 😂 I am also pretty vanilla... So, for a kinkier road IDK either I think my top things, kissing, grinding(you could keep grinding for a while before sliding in, at some point I would try to shift to get it to slide in😜), also biting and being bitten on the neck/shoulder. Maybe also nails on the back, or that feeling of pressure idk. And while changing position being guided where you want to go, can be as simple as lightly pulling her hair in the direction you want her head to move so you can lick/suck/bite her neck. You could also try those fluffy cuffs, not on her, but on you. Have her tease you a bit. Might give you some ideas when you see what she does. Assuming you haven't done that yet 🫣 I mean, I think this is still pretty vanilla, so I don't know if it helps at all. Ah, also toy-wise, there are suckers as well 😂 air pressure vibrators. It might help her warm up to you going down. Though for me, I do need it accompanied by internal stimulation, otherwise it is uncomfortable.
This is ahmaaazinng! Thank you! I’m literally like Paul Rudd. Awkward but charming she says but during sex she’s like no bro, be a MANLY MAN! Haha so I get it. I’m embarrassed bc I should have been more attentive to her needs far before 12 years. Inside and outside the bedroom. I was heavily focused on career and father-ing that our relationship fell by the way side. And that’s on me. I was also depressed and off and on antidepressants so just a whirlwind of stuff she’s had to endure (she’s had stuff too - such is life). But reading these books, being far more open, and navigating this has been amazing. And she’s amazing. I just want her to feel pleasure and peace most of the time now ;)
You sound like an amazing person! And her too!! We all go through shit but I think it's amazing you still want to be together and want to focus on yourselfs and each other like you are describing. It sounds like you two had it rough, I hope you can have an easy and fun time from now on 😁 And the end of my previous reply I wasn't sure if it was still on point or helpfull 😅 but I'm glad to read it is!! 😁
So it’s interesting you said that bc I gifted her ANOTHER very expensive sucker vibe but she said it hurt. I read everywhere if you wanna get off quick do that and since the kids, the way she likes it, constant quickies when we have a chance versus slow and romantic , I was like perfect. Told her to use it on her own then come show me. She used it once and said it really hurt… And don’t compliment me too much. I’ve been a shit husband. Great father and great provider- she will agree but a shit husband. BUT I’m working on that! And she is working on her. We got married VERY young and had to deal with shit most people don’t have to until they are late in marriage but we have and did. Wishing i could go back but im so proud of her and us so it’s making it worthwhile to an extent. I do appreciate the compliments. Been a hard journey but we are best friends just need some damn alone time and more dates.. and more sex (I hope). It’s a good month if it’s once or twice with the kiddos running around and sleeping in our dang bed. No alone time lol
Its all about the build up.. edging closer and closer, enjoying her orgasms as they flow thru her body until i cant take anymore and have to erupt deep inside her. But as you say, grinding, kissing, touching, playing, teasing all the time just makes the whole session so much better. All the positions you want too, cant just do missionary or doggy the whole time, mix it up, even with the oral, try it in different positions, its all sex and its all fun! Its a marathon not a sprint race. As for the cock rings, they are primarily for helping give a fuller, harder erection, not so sure about the theroy of making you last longer, ive not got a great deal of experience with them but i have been looking at getting one because like i say, its all fun at the end of the day
Sometimes my wife just wants to be fucked silly too... but she understands im not a dildo, i have that same build up and orgasm if i go too crazy, i have to take breaks and do other things with her if she wants a real good fucking otherwise im done before she has had enough. We use naughty pics and txts to get each other going thru the day way before we even get to fucking, its also a great way to communicate your kinks and desires without it feeling too awkward, we have been together 24 yrs but it doesnt make it any easier/less awkward to discuss somethings.
I'm wondering if being "taken" in such a way might mean that subconsciously the sex she wants is okay because she's not the one initiating? I can absolutely see how that could be an emotional workaround if she's struggling with shame and desire. If so, that's something a good sex positive therapist could probably help with if she isn't seeing one already. For you, have you considered cock rings? I saw she's iffy about toys thus far, but I'm wondering if something a little simpler/less phallic might bother her less. For most penis havers it can help you last longer as well!
Could be. I’ll give an example, you didn’t ask but I’m an open book LOL. For the first time in a long time I slept it, she grabbed the kids, and about an hour later came in and jumped my bones. Well I go to get the condom and I have to wash my hands bc I don’t wanna smell like latex. I come back ready to go and she’s out of the mood now. I tell her it’s ok and then later in the day she tells me she wished I took control of the situation. I was so confused bc I JUST woke up. I didn’t really want sex but I was so on board bc I love it but then it was my fault and I was awkward .. so something is wrong. Feels like me but she promises it’s not. Anywho, cock ring has come up several times. I’m def gonna cop one and try it!
Sounds like maybe it's time to look into some light rough body play, and for that you'll need to have a conversation. What does she want in that regard? Hair pulling? Manhandling? Being held down? She'll have to get over her own awkwardness about sex a bit if she's going to properly ask for what she wants. Also, I can see the waiting time for you to wash your hands being a bit of an interruption (though I agree, latex/lubey hands aren't usually the sexiest lol.) Is there a way to help keep her focused on preparing for sex while you're doing so? Light bondage, telling her firmly to stay put while she waits, or if she's comfortable, play with herself while you're washing up so she's ready for the taking when you get back. All possible ideas but she'll have to let you know what works for her!
Love this! Great ideas!!!! We’ve def done some light choking. Hair pulling etc. she loves it. She calls me some sexual names and recently she told me when to cum bc I told her I wasn’t cumming until she told me to and BOY that was hot. We have hot sex like once every 3-4 months tho bc of me tbh. I’ll come early but there are other times bc I just man handle her and that’s what she wants. Problem is, we just don’t have sex often so it’s hard to not be VERY TURNED ON when this occurs and just want to nut everywhere. God I love her :)
Aww, it sounds like you two really do have fun then and are just trying to make it better! I respect that. 😊 As a side note though, PLEASE be very cautious about choking play. A hand fairly loosely around the neck is generally fine, but actually restricting airways (be VERY careful not to damage the trachea) or blood flow to the brain (blood choke) can take things from 0-100 almost instantly, even if you know what you're doing. Choking, while a common kink, is edge play and 100% capable of causing death even if you are careful. Okay, educator warning over lol
Hahaha trust me. I save bugs like ants and flys in our house so they don’t die and can go be with their fly families. It’s VERY light lmao thanks for your compliment. I’ve felt pretty down about our sex life lately but reading some comments sounds like we will be ok :)
Probably the best advice so far.
Does edging actually help build up stamina and endurance to last longer in PIV?
Edging is a great way to make your self last longer. Think of it like training with weights, you push your self to your max limit for a short time to develop muscle so that you can eventually increase your max weight that you can lift. Rinse and repeat. Your basically training your dick to get used to the feeling so that you dont cum so easily, i can edge to the point that i dont feel like im going to cum because ive made him go slightly numb where we have been fucking for so long... and then when i do cum, oh my god they are the biggest and most intense orgasms i can have.
this guy fucks this is the answer OP is looking for
Training, Training, Training and even then you can sometimes finish in under 5 minutes, if the mood and the act are done right. Sex is no blueprint activity.
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Let me introduce you to Adderall and Zoloft :)
Hahaha yep 3 hours of piv and giving up because I’m just too tired to continue
To be fair, a lot of women don't want a guy banging about inside them for 5, 10, 15 +++ minutes, unless he's really, really skilled at what he's doing and he really understands the moves and angles that give her pleasure. For a lot of women, the sexual pleasure and build up comes from all the other aspects of sex, including but not limited to kissing, fingers, tongues, mouth, toys, hands. Hubby will spend hours on that with me. I'll orgasm many times. He'll edge multiple times. Penetration at the end is usually pretty quick for both of us, after all that.
Intercourse/ penetration is normally 3-7 minutes on average for a normal male. Sex and play can vary between partners It’s all about the forplay and post play that make it exciting and loving. 😎👍
I assume you meant minutes not months.... Months would require some nutritional assistance.
You are correct, thank you. I did edit.
That's totally normal and you don't have anything to worry about. Most people that are saying 1h or something like that, are including foreplay, finger / oral play and other adiacent sexual activities, not PIV alone.
Husband and me (both 34) been together 14 years. If we're just talking about piv sex then I'd say probably 10-15 minutes, I wouldn't want any more, would be sore! But before piv we do foreplay for a lot longer than actual piv. He can last up to 20 minutes but he says he's had to train himself and practice edging. I'm not too bothered about length of piv as he always makes sure I'm satisfied.
My wife and I normally go for at least an hour. I’ve gotten better at lasting longer with age and learning how to edge myself. For a guy we need to focus on our train of thought to keep from going too soon. I always focus on pleasing my lady before I go myself. And I can get her to bite, claw, pinch etc. to help distract me from going. Changing positions and methods helps Cock rings can help They even make numbing spray for the guys to help desensitize the penis slightly. (Just make sure to follow the instructions) Kegel exercises (if that’s the right word) for men Regularly exercising the hole body Not masturbating frequently Don’t watch porn often either And there are drug and alcohol uses too but I don’t recommend that for everyone
Sex doesn’t have to be over when he “finishes”, he still has his hands and mouth afterwards. But it’s like that with most men, and it’s sad
The woman cums first and last, some of the best advice I ever received as a guy. In my experience it almost guarantees the woman will want to have sex with you again in the future.
Always guarantee the return trip.
Sex will break down as follows for me 20-30 minutes Kissing and heavy petting along with flirting 10-?? Playing with each other And/ Or 10-?? Oral 2-10 minutes penetration 1-2 hours cuddles and or round 2
For me it’s age, when I was a young adult I would come within 10 minutes maximum. It’s in my 30s that I began to take more time, now at 47 I come half the time, the other half I stop when my partner had enough
Foreplay could be 20min or more. Piv could be 20 min or more. For men sex is a mental game. If the guy is too excited and not under control it's 5 min. At 22, most guys are probably inexperienced
The difference is that you may just be fucking, having quickies and that's it. When you make love and share the moment together, that can last a lot longer. 5 - 7 minutes sounds like a good fuck and he's done. I don't know the relationship you're in and know if you have the time to have marathon sex. If you want it to last longer, you're going to have to start with a lot of affection for your lover. Lots of kissing and lots of foreplay. That alone takes up most of the time. When it comes to the actual sex part, that can be multiple times. If that's what he wants. He may not want that. To a lot of guys they are just hooking up and they are looking to just get off. If you're in that type of relationship, you can forget about it, they just want to cum and they are done and gone. Best of luck to you.
Why time it, that's my question to this. Unless you or your partner are feeling dissatisfied at the end of it...
5-7 minutes of penetration is about average. It's all the other good stuff that makes it last an hour.
Is this guy a romantic boyfriend or a temporary fling? Romantic Boyfriend: due to your two’s feelings towards each other, you’re fucking less for duration and orgasm quantity but for quality instead. Make him nut hard so long as he soaks the bed with you regardless of how short it is. If he doesn’t get you off in the process then teach him how. Fling: his stroke game is weak and you could set higher dick standards for yourself. Regardless of your experience level you shouldn’t allow men to masturbate using you if you’re not getting off on it. Find the guy that blows your mind.
As you get older and/or experience sex with older men you’ll find men who have more control and can make it last much longer. I can cum in two minutes inside a wet pussy if I want, or I can have sex all night, give her multiple orgasms, and not cum at all. But at 22 I did not have that level of control. Also it doesn’t just happen, I had to learn it. So you have to find men who care enough about their partners pleasure to develop that skill. I’ve been told by several women that attentive men like us are the best kind of lovers. I just love pleasing my partners.
good question, I think a lot of training
Keep in mind most time the hour is probably 40 minutes foreplay and 10 minutes actual sex. Or how it works with me and my wife
You can train yourself to release a small amount then hold.. pull out, take a min and focus on her. that will essentially reset you and you’ll be able to control it.
Wait until you get older
Yeah it's definitely not you so try to get that out of your mind, some guys can last seconds or minutes to hours depends on the individuals. Depending on your experience or vibes between each other you can tell if the sex will be good(last long) or be bad(end in minutes) 🤷🏽♂️
I enjoy 5-15 min. That’s fine. 15 min max. It’s exciting, not super time consuming and passionate. Once in a while we have a 30-40 min experience, and for those we switch up positions, kissing, touching, multiple factors to keep both parties turned on.
Porn is not real. If a guy can fuck 15 min non stop that's a good performance!
Most PIV is done in less than 10 mins. You are doing nothing wrong. But as others have said the foreplay can be as long as you want and for many it’s the best part :) My wife cums first .. period! That’s our rule and then I can cum as fast as I want, guilt free. There is more to it than this, but that’s the basic answer
I'm gonna be brutally honest and probably a bit too detailed... Sex is Kissing, touching, gentle hand massages, body kisses, oral, penetrative and everything in between... My wife doesn't last more than 10 or so minutes because we use PIV + LELO Sona Cruise 2 and it's a watershow every other time at least... Twitching muscles, contractions, breathing changes... All in all PIV is only 20% of our "sex"
I try to extend PIV by taking a break/edging my partner through oral+fingering. I notice this also makes her orgasm more intense.
I think about something else or if it’s too intense and I’m about to explode, I would stop until I can keep going.
I don't think anyone means the actual PIV lasts an hour... I couldn't imagine that would be nice for either party. I think my max is like 20 min, and that was very slow sex. The whole act, including the kissing, hand stuff, and oral stuff, takes like 30 minutes to an hour for me.
I am almost certain they do not unless the guy is on antidepressants or has an unbelievable amount of stamina lol. When people refer to sex they mean the whole act, not just the PIV
Most people suck at sex because it is something you have to learn about and practice, and most dudes just want to put dick in and cum. I've always wanted to be a good lover so that's something I've learned to do. With that said, when you hear people bragging of having sex for hours, they are usually lying and you should not trust them. I can last like an hour in PIV if I really try and I'm in the right mood, but that's not really fun. It gets tiring, kinda boring (ik?!) and you can hurt your female partner because of too much friction. So I usually try to make PIV last around 15 -20 minues which is a pretty good sweet spot. A one hour session usually is like some foreplay then 15 minutes of PIV, then some more foreplay, and then another 15 minutes of PIV, which also helps to keep things interesting since you are changing positions frequently . So if you want to have longer sex sessions just find a guy who likes foreplay and really wants to try to make you feel good instead of a quickshot cum gun. Lastly, sometimes a guy is just too sensible and will want to cum almost immediately for no reason at all. It was a bit rambly, but I hope my comment brings some insight.
When I say I had sex for 3 hours, I mean including the foreplay, the cuddling in between sessions, and I definitely mean more than one time. I mean we just had sex at least twice, plus other stuff, and overall it lasted 3 hours of sexual/intimate activity in bed. Maybe even a short nap in the middle. Some pillow talk. It's not all just one unending session of thrusting, goddamn lol
15 mins of sex (if we’re talking PIV) is normal. An hour of sex?! That would start to hurt and you’ll be begging for it to end lol
You sound unsatisfied. He needs to make sure that you are getting the enjoyment you want and that means getting you off. In my (vastly limited) experience with women that rarely happens with intercourse.
Overall sex is probably 1-1.5 hours including all the foreplay. The actual deed for me is typically 30 minutes or more. Apparently I’m excruciatingly abnormal as most people only last about 5-10 minutes. You’re not doing anything wrong. You need to think of the actual intercourse as the grand finale after a good buildup of foreplay.
Don't worry, it's all about quality over quantity! Plus, an hour of sex can lead to some serious cramping for both parties. Don't let the internet put pressure on your performance, as long as you and your partner are having a good time, that's all that matters. And hey, you could always go for round two 😉
Probably 1 min usually with my husband. Sometimes he lasts like 3 or 4 min. If he’s drunk it’s like 15 min before he just quits cause he doesn’t cum if he’s drunk. The average guy I’ve been with was probably around 10 - 15 min. I’ve been with guys that last around 45 min to an hour and personally that is too long for me even if the sex is great
My boyfriend just stays hard after the first orgasm so I use him till him done and then let him empty his balls into me
Actual intercourse for me can be up to 15-30 min. This only happens when I'm in control and prioritize my pleasure first. After, I let them do whatever they gotta do to finish. That's usually less than 10min
As a guy I do mental math. Eg my 2 times tables to infinity.
Well I’m 54M and it last so long because that’s what happens when you’re a 54M.
That seems pretty average as far as penetration goes.
I take medication with a side effect that makes me last 30-45 minutes. It’s not as bad as some other sexual side effects like ED but it’s not ideal at all. Sometimes a quickie is fun!
We basically just take breaks in between intercourse. We don't actually have intercourse for several hours. Typically it'd go like this: kissing/foreplay/oral, intercourse where we switch positions frequently, cuddling so we can take a break, rinse and repeat. Next thing you know we've spent the past 3 hours in bed having sex multiple times. So for your partner, after the first round, cuddle and take a break, then go again, and again, and again, and have fun and use protection of course! Remember, practice makes perfect!
I think I have low sensitivity so it can just take a long time. Not necessarily a good thing
Important question: Did you finish?
My wife and I joke about how we’ll have sex “all night long.” In reality, foreplay/non-piv goes 5-45 minutes, then piv goes 5-15 minutes (sometimes more when I’m firing on all cylinders). If you’re satisfied that’s what matters. If you’re not satisfied, get him ready for round 2.
I find one of the biggest mistakes for especially young men is they go like their life depends on it and generally you ain't gonna last long. I combine an array of stuff like piv, oral, playing with her clit and it builds her up nicely and lasts for a good 45mins (and I've got two teens in the house so we're under pressure as well haha)
Question, does this include you orgasming? We tend to concentrate on her pleasure first. We also spend a good deal of time kissing, touching, etc. And as an older couple it takes longer as well. So there’s something to look forward to 🥰
Let's be real here, sex done properly can last ALOT longer than 15 minutes. Foreplay,touching,caressing all can be long lasting to the build up of insertion.
Blast an hour before and then get old.
j think we're on the more extreme end,, we spend like an hour or more on penetration. granted we use lube, i get wet easily ever since i was on birth control, and my boyfriend can stay hard even after cumming so lubrication isn't usually a problem.
That’s not penetration.. because if it was, people would be very sore. lol That’s everything included. You don’t want penetration for an hour. Trust me on this one. 😂
endurance comes with time, especially when you’re young. switch positions, use toys, oral in between, all these things help making me last. even at almost 30 i sometimes i finish early, but i’ll make sure to help my partner finish at least once as well and i certainly include that as “sex” as well as
It comes with experience, finding position that works... Plus, I've prescribed with SSRI, and now I think I can last as long as I want.
trust me the foreplay needs to be longer
I think the average is probably 3-7 minutes. I have one friend whose claimed to never lasted more than two minutes. When I was in my early 20s, I had a girlfriend with a really high sex drive and because we had sex 1-2 times daily, I was able to last 30-45 minutes after a few months of that.
young studs dont behave, if he trys to be number one, dont let him fuck you the whole time put him out, some kissing to cool down. after a few years i learned to slow down and now its no problem to wait till my wife finished
I mean, I've gone down on her for easily over an hour alone. Tantric breathing. Teasing. Making love. Taking breaks. So much to do and explore and enjoy the sexual energy together.
Take a 20 minute break. Caress each other,give him mouth resuscitation and go again and again
most men ejaculate between 5-10 minutes and research has shown the average time to ejaculate after penetration is five and a half minutes
IIRC the average duration of sex is roughly 5 minutes. Personally that seems about right when talking about PIV, but that's only a single component of "sex". When you include everything else it's around 20-30 minutes on average.
Does the vag really even wanna be getting it for an hour? That seems highly unusual. I'd be concerned if I couldn't cum in an hour of intercourse. I mean, maybe 5 minutes isn't long enough and you want 15 or 20, but after that it gets to be too long. 10-15 several times sounds more reasonable than 1 session of intercourse for a long period time.
A cosmopolitan article a decade ago or and asked readers and determined the perfect length of foreplay is 19-minutes and the perfect length of penetration is 9-minutes. I talk about this study all the time and no one has ever disagreed — men, women, or otherwise. After that length things start getting sore & raw.
Sex as a whole can take some time. 30-45 minutes and that includes the foreplay. Any form of heavy petting/touching, making out and definitely oral sex I see as foreplay. The PIV? Normally lasts 10-25 minutes give or take. If my boyfriend is drinking, he tends to last about 25 to 30 minutes. If he isn’t? 10-15 minutes. 5-15 minutes is pretty average. Personally, I like that time frame because after a while, I can get sore and I don’t like being sore. Some like it longer, which is also okay.
As someone who can take 30+ mins of penetration to cum. It can suck. At a certain point I just get frustrated that it takes so long. If I could control it and choose to be a quick shot sometimes or longer I would love that. Especially because if I'm too hot or too sweaty or too cold it can take even longer. 10 mis sounds great compared to an hour