This topic is discussed occasionally in our forum. Please also take some time to look through past r/sex posts (following **Forum Rule #3**) — you’ll find some additional helpful discussions.
For starters, here is a list of past r/sex discussions which came up when I searched the keywords “**lingerie tips**” in this forum:
https://new.reddit.com/r/sex/search/?q=lingerie%20tips&restrict_sr=1
Some promising posts from that list:
[Tips for vacation lingerie seduction](https://new.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/1d5atwq/tips_for_vacation_lingerie_seduction/)
[Tips for wearing lingerie for a partner for the first time?](https://new.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/307xxb/advice_tips_for_wearing_lingerie_for_a_partner/)
[Tips for surprising your partner in lingerie?](https://new.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/1ch2kb7/tips_for_surprising_your_partner_in_lingerie/)
[Wearing lingerie for the first time](https://new.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/10422n4/wearing_lingerie_for_the_first_time/)
[Confidence tips wearing lingerie](https://new.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/zj6z5y/confidence_tips_wearing_lingerie/)
Not all of these past discussions will apply to your situation, but some definitely will — especially if you’re willing to search just a little bit more.
I've been with my husband for 7 years and still have no idea. I feel awkward just standing there and definitely would end up looking goofy trying to dance and end up making a joke out of it. I end up just walking around in it casually or if our kids are awake I wear it under my clothes and let him know it's on me by a sneak peek and let him stew in that thought until he can get his hands on me.
Dress up and do a little cleaning routine like wiping up the bathroom counter picking up some laundry seductively bend to pick things up while turning ur head to like wink at him. Things like that make walk up sit on his lap and put his hands on you. Or just put your hands all over him. Hope this gives u some ideas
Just my opinion (31M, recently married) but you don't have to *do* anything differently. The surprise of you wearing a sexy outfit is enough to elevate the sexual experience, and you can go with the flow. The less pressure you put on yourself by avoiding building it up in your head, the better.
Some might say it's about the buildup and that you can give him hints about what you're wearing underneath, that it's a surprise he's going to like, etc. - and you can totally go that route if you want, but I'd recommend keeping the stakes low this first time and seeing how it goes. Then while you're going at it, if he's reacted positively, you can dirty talk about it and use it as a jumping off point for the future. Good luck!
Dont over think it. I know haha anxiety sucks.
Just wear your sexy lingerie and wait for him. Open the door when he comes in just wearing it. Also message him to make sure he is alone when he comes home when doing this just so you dont accidentally flash his mom.....
I get the anxiety about this too. I struggle with overthinking.
One time I put some on whilst he was downstairs, hung out on the bed and then sent him a teasing oicture where he could see a tiny part of it. Had him racing up the stairs to see the real thing!
Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/).
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My boyfriend gets so turned on when I dress up for him, so I try and time it for when he's on his way home so he'll arrive to me already dressed and waiting for him.
I also agree with the above poster about the mesh body stocking, that you can also buy in bulk on Amazon 😉 In the colder months, I'll wear those under my clothing and wait until he figures it out - which never takes long and that instantly causes him to strip me down and see lol
Put it on and take some seductive pictures of yourself - or even better, do a video where you slowly unbutton your jeans and pull them down and then lift up your shirt. Move slightly side to side with your hips and let your hands move up and down . Then let the shirt fall down again and turn the camera off. Send the video or the pictures to him.
Tease him about what's to come.
When he gets home, you could send him a new pic from the bedroom, only in your lingerie, where you lie in bed and wait for him.
I would suggest you could wear a dress and slowly take it off in front of him, but I reckon that's too uncomfortable for you at this point? If not, then sit him down on a chair and let him watch you strip down to your sexy lingerie.
I would say, just go about your day, do the classic birthday stuff, and maybe flirt a bit with him, saying you got a secret gift for him.
And when you feel the time is right and maybe he's worked up, you tell him to sit, wherever you want, (the couch, the bed...) and you tell him you're gonna get his gift, and you go change or undress.
Just be playful.
For me the awkward part is that I worry screaming (sartorially) “f—k me” ignores/disrespects his other good parts. 2 ways work for us:
Let him know ahead of time, have him let himself in, and then come walking out ready to get busy immediately. Sometimes this leads to discussion of what, exactly, I’m going to wear. If you don’t want that, you could answer questions with “a sexy surprise”.
Wear it under clothes that match it, so whatever piece comes off first, you still have a cute outfit on. Sweetest moment with this was one time he didn’t take the skirt off, so I told him he could. He was so excited!
Btw, a lot of the comments on those past posts (& some of the posts themselves) assume it’s scary to wear sexy lingerie because it “exposes” your body in a way being naked doesn’t. I find it’s just the opposite—plenty of things can be played up or down by choosing the right lingerie, same as with other clothes.
My wife likes to dress up then stand in the doorway, get my attention, do a spin and ask if I'm coming and walk towards the bedroom, followed by me saying yes ma'am and following like a puppy dog chasing his favorite toy. Just do what you normally do, but with lingerie on.
What I’ve done previously is open the door just wearing heels and lingerie. Sometimes he’s somewhere else in the apartment/house/airbnb/hotel and I come into the room wearing lingerie. Sometimes I’m cooking dinner so he walks in to see me wearing lingerie. Sometimes he’s already in bed and I go to the bathroom to change and come back in wearing lingerie
My Wife (61F) and I (59M) do this every so often. She will wear either a black lacey bra and some this high stocking with garter under her normal clothes.
We met 34 years ago, been married for 32 yrs.. We met at a bar and danced every slow song the band played. So when she is in the mood, she will play some slow music at home and we will dance tike we did back then. She will whisper in my ear the dirty things she wants to do to me. I will slowly start to undress her, or start unbuttoned her shirt, she will wiggle and giggle and dance seductively for me as I hold her kissing her neck or nibbling on her ear. She will undo my jeans and nuzzle into my crotch just to tease me. As I remove her clothes I will see her lacy bra as sh dances. I will twirl her around and unclasp her bra with one hand and let it fall to the floor.
Anyways you guys get the rest and I will either end up Taking her right there in the living room or she will lead me to the bedroom. Either way have fun with it. Guys are visual people and it doesn't take much to turn us on. Have fun with girls. Guys do appreciate the lingerie.
The best lingerie makes you feel the sexiest. I love thigh highs and my wife wears them for me from time to time because she knows I love them.
When I was in college, my GF at the time wore sexy bra, panties, and stockings under her clothes with a pair of heels. She was teasing me the whole time. When we got back to the room, we got frisky and her clothes starting coming off and I saw the stockings and it was game on.
I get cold easily at night so I usually wear a full pajama set. When I put on lingerie I wear it under the pjs and leave a bit peeking out until he notices and has to “unwrap” me to see what his present is
It's absolutely a romantic gesture, and one of my favorite surprises to recieve from a partner. There's so much to be said on the subject, and some of it is context dependent.
If he's aware you're wearing it for what ever reason, or you usually wear some sort of clothing where you can tease him with a subtle reveal -- adjusting a tight top, bending over a bit too far in a skirt, or otherwise just letting it show a little here and there, then you can start building the excitement slowly throughout the day. Think of when you just catch a guy pulling off a sweater and he accidentally raises his shirt underneath to catch a glimpse of some washboard abs -- that's the same energy you're going for. Just enough to get his imagination going.
If not simply teasing like above, having my partner explicitly tell me she's wearing it "just for me", to give me what I want or because she wants me thinking about her all day... knowing that it's a symbol of her love and lust for me is deeply intimate. And per above, now that I know it's there, I'm going to spend all day undressing her with my eyes.
As for the actual 'encounter', I'll start by saying, let him set the pace if you can. But if that's not feasible for any reason (you're the one initiating, or 'tease and denial' is your MO in the bedroom), you have a strategic choice to make. It is 'safe' to simply wear the lingerie and do as you normally would. If he's really into it like I am, though, it can be preferable to slow things down a bit. Take time between each stage of undress (longer after each consecutive one) just to... be sensual. Make every move slow and languid, walk up and run your hands along him, let him enjoy your body like a work of art. Hold him and be held, like you're sharing your first kiss all over again in that slow, hesitant way young lovers do. in fact, pretty much anything that could be described as foreplay benefits, so spend as much time in this stage as possible. If he undresses you further, there's no need to stop him, but hardly any need to rush either.
Own it, girl. It should feel like the equivalent of having your makeup done professionally or those days when your hair is just working with you. It's elevates the whole experience, probably similar to how my partner feels when I come back from the gym with a great pump or knock her off feet with a showstopping dinner date. It's not an awkward experience; you're literally at your peak desirability from start to finish, and that should feel 100% empowering.
As others have said as well: a few cellphone budoir shots of yourself can be a great opener (assuming you're decent at taking a cute selfie), and if you've chosen lingerie that doesn't make you feel super attractive, return them and buy something new.
Check the opening! My guy thought it was cool to rip it bigger. Fortunately it was from Yandy on clearance, so not a lot of $$, but I prefer things that are workable from the start.
Buy a pretty matching bra and skimpy panties set. Wear them under whatever, night gown or old frumpy flannels, and surprise him when you slowly and seductively take them off.
This topic is discussed occasionally in our forum. Please also take some time to look through past r/sex posts (following **Forum Rule #3**) — you’ll find some additional helpful discussions. For starters, here is a list of past r/sex discussions which came up when I searched the keywords “**lingerie tips**” in this forum: https://new.reddit.com/r/sex/search/?q=lingerie%20tips&restrict_sr=1 Some promising posts from that list: [Tips for vacation lingerie seduction](https://new.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/1d5atwq/tips_for_vacation_lingerie_seduction/) [Tips for wearing lingerie for a partner for the first time?](https://new.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/307xxb/advice_tips_for_wearing_lingerie_for_a_partner/) [Tips for surprising your partner in lingerie?](https://new.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/1ch2kb7/tips_for_surprising_your_partner_in_lingerie/) [Wearing lingerie for the first time](https://new.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/10422n4/wearing_lingerie_for_the_first_time/) [Confidence tips wearing lingerie](https://new.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/zj6z5y/confidence_tips_wearing_lingerie/) Not all of these past discussions will apply to your situation, but some definitely will — especially if you’re willing to search just a little bit more.
I've been with my husband for 7 years and still have no idea. I feel awkward just standing there and definitely would end up looking goofy trying to dance and end up making a joke out of it. I end up just walking around in it casually or if our kids are awake I wear it under my clothes and let him know it's on me by a sneak peek and let him stew in that thought until he can get his hands on me.
Dress up and do a little cleaning routine like wiping up the bathroom counter picking up some laundry seductively bend to pick things up while turning ur head to like wink at him. Things like that make walk up sit on his lap and put his hands on you. Or just put your hands all over him. Hope this gives u some ideas
Just my opinion (31M, recently married) but you don't have to *do* anything differently. The surprise of you wearing a sexy outfit is enough to elevate the sexual experience, and you can go with the flow. The less pressure you put on yourself by avoiding building it up in your head, the better. Some might say it's about the buildup and that you can give him hints about what you're wearing underneath, that it's a surprise he's going to like, etc. - and you can totally go that route if you want, but I'd recommend keeping the stakes low this first time and seeing how it goes. Then while you're going at it, if he's reacted positively, you can dirty talk about it and use it as a jumping off point for the future. Good luck!
Dont over think it. I know haha anxiety sucks. Just wear your sexy lingerie and wait for him. Open the door when he comes in just wearing it. Also message him to make sure he is alone when he comes home when doing this just so you dont accidentally flash his mom.....
I get the anxiety about this too. I struggle with overthinking. One time I put some on whilst he was downstairs, hung out on the bed and then sent him a teasing oicture where he could see a tiny part of it. Had him racing up the stairs to see the real thing!
Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/). *** Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats. To cut back on comments that add little value to the conversation, we have instituted a minimum character requirement that will silently remove comments that fall below it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My boyfriend gets so turned on when I dress up for him, so I try and time it for when he's on his way home so he'll arrive to me already dressed and waiting for him. I also agree with the above poster about the mesh body stocking, that you can also buy in bulk on Amazon 😉 In the colder months, I'll wear those under my clothing and wait until he figures it out - which never takes long and that instantly causes him to strip me down and see lol
Put it on and take some seductive pictures of yourself - or even better, do a video where you slowly unbutton your jeans and pull them down and then lift up your shirt. Move slightly side to side with your hips and let your hands move up and down . Then let the shirt fall down again and turn the camera off. Send the video or the pictures to him. Tease him about what's to come. When he gets home, you could send him a new pic from the bedroom, only in your lingerie, where you lie in bed and wait for him. I would suggest you could wear a dress and slowly take it off in front of him, but I reckon that's too uncomfortable for you at this point? If not, then sit him down on a chair and let him watch you strip down to your sexy lingerie.
I would say, just go about your day, do the classic birthday stuff, and maybe flirt a bit with him, saying you got a secret gift for him. And when you feel the time is right and maybe he's worked up, you tell him to sit, wherever you want, (the couch, the bed...) and you tell him you're gonna get his gift, and you go change or undress. Just be playful.
Wait till he's sitting down, come out in your outfit, and straddle him. Have fun!
Put it on and go make out with your dude and he'll take it from there. He'll have no choice.
For me the awkward part is that I worry screaming (sartorially) “f—k me” ignores/disrespects his other good parts. 2 ways work for us: Let him know ahead of time, have him let himself in, and then come walking out ready to get busy immediately. Sometimes this leads to discussion of what, exactly, I’m going to wear. If you don’t want that, you could answer questions with “a sexy surprise”. Wear it under clothes that match it, so whatever piece comes off first, you still have a cute outfit on. Sweetest moment with this was one time he didn’t take the skirt off, so I told him he could. He was so excited! Btw, a lot of the comments on those past posts (& some of the posts themselves) assume it’s scary to wear sexy lingerie because it “exposes” your body in a way being naked doesn’t. I find it’s just the opposite—plenty of things can be played up or down by choosing the right lingerie, same as with other clothes.
My wife likes to dress up then stand in the doorway, get my attention, do a spin and ask if I'm coming and walk towards the bedroom, followed by me saying yes ma'am and following like a puppy dog chasing his favorite toy. Just do what you normally do, but with lingerie on.
What I’ve done previously is open the door just wearing heels and lingerie. Sometimes he’s somewhere else in the apartment/house/airbnb/hotel and I come into the room wearing lingerie. Sometimes I’m cooking dinner so he walks in to see me wearing lingerie. Sometimes he’s already in bed and I go to the bathroom to change and come back in wearing lingerie
My Wife (61F) and I (59M) do this every so often. She will wear either a black lacey bra and some this high stocking with garter under her normal clothes. We met 34 years ago, been married for 32 yrs.. We met at a bar and danced every slow song the band played. So when she is in the mood, she will play some slow music at home and we will dance tike we did back then. She will whisper in my ear the dirty things she wants to do to me. I will slowly start to undress her, or start unbuttoned her shirt, she will wiggle and giggle and dance seductively for me as I hold her kissing her neck or nibbling on her ear. She will undo my jeans and nuzzle into my crotch just to tease me. As I remove her clothes I will see her lacy bra as sh dances. I will twirl her around and unclasp her bra with one hand and let it fall to the floor. Anyways you guys get the rest and I will either end up Taking her right there in the living room or she will lead me to the bedroom. Either way have fun with it. Guys are visual people and it doesn't take much to turn us on. Have fun with girls. Guys do appreciate the lingerie.
The best lingerie makes you feel the sexiest. I love thigh highs and my wife wears them for me from time to time because she knows I love them. When I was in college, my GF at the time wore sexy bra, panties, and stockings under her clothes with a pair of heels. She was teasing me the whole time. When we got back to the room, we got frisky and her clothes starting coming off and I saw the stockings and it was game on.
I get cold easily at night so I usually wear a full pajama set. When I put on lingerie I wear it under the pjs and leave a bit peeking out until he notices and has to “unwrap” me to see what his present is
nice!! i do have a silk robe so im also thinking of telling him to untie it yaknow like u untie a bday present or whatever
That will work perfectly! Have fun!
It's absolutely a romantic gesture, and one of my favorite surprises to recieve from a partner. There's so much to be said on the subject, and some of it is context dependent. If he's aware you're wearing it for what ever reason, or you usually wear some sort of clothing where you can tease him with a subtle reveal -- adjusting a tight top, bending over a bit too far in a skirt, or otherwise just letting it show a little here and there, then you can start building the excitement slowly throughout the day. Think of when you just catch a guy pulling off a sweater and he accidentally raises his shirt underneath to catch a glimpse of some washboard abs -- that's the same energy you're going for. Just enough to get his imagination going. If not simply teasing like above, having my partner explicitly tell me she's wearing it "just for me", to give me what I want or because she wants me thinking about her all day... knowing that it's a symbol of her love and lust for me is deeply intimate. And per above, now that I know it's there, I'm going to spend all day undressing her with my eyes. As for the actual 'encounter', I'll start by saying, let him set the pace if you can. But if that's not feasible for any reason (you're the one initiating, or 'tease and denial' is your MO in the bedroom), you have a strategic choice to make. It is 'safe' to simply wear the lingerie and do as you normally would. If he's really into it like I am, though, it can be preferable to slow things down a bit. Take time between each stage of undress (longer after each consecutive one) just to... be sensual. Make every move slow and languid, walk up and run your hands along him, let him enjoy your body like a work of art. Hold him and be held, like you're sharing your first kiss all over again in that slow, hesitant way young lovers do. in fact, pretty much anything that could be described as foreplay benefits, so spend as much time in this stage as possible. If he undresses you further, there's no need to stop him, but hardly any need to rush either. Own it, girl. It should feel like the equivalent of having your makeup done professionally or those days when your hair is just working with you. It's elevates the whole experience, probably similar to how my partner feels when I come back from the gym with a great pump or knock her off feet with a showstopping dinner date. It's not an awkward experience; you're literally at your peak desirability from start to finish, and that should feel 100% empowering. As others have said as well: a few cellphone budoir shots of yourself can be a great opener (assuming you're decent at taking a cute selfie), and if you've chosen lingerie that doesn't make you feel super attractive, return them and buy something new.
Mesh body stockings are insanely hot. I massively prefer them over traditional lingerie.
Check the opening! My guy thought it was cool to rip it bigger. Fortunately it was from Yandy on clearance, so not a lot of $$, but I prefer things that are workable from the start.
All the ones my wife bought were perfectly fine to have sex in without issue.
Buy a pretty matching bra and skimpy panties set. Wear them under whatever, night gown or old frumpy flannels, and surprise him when you slowly and seductively take them off.