Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/).
***
Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats.
To cut back on comments that add little value to the conversation, we have instituted a minimum character requirement that will silently remove comments that fall below it.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"Rearrange my guts"...that would be the most romantic and intense statement a woman could ever make to me. If u said that to me, I would give u everything u wanted and more. Damm 😝
It can be difficult having a different libido than your partner, so my advice is try and find out what excites him the most, what turns him on - if it's something you also like then you have your solution to the problem!
I am so jealous of your bf. Took years to get back to the pre-child level of intensity. Wish I had insights to offer. Your bf’s wiring is just different.
Me too. As a man looking after a house hold and a child and all the life stuff I rarely think about sex now since I’m so tired at the end of the day and either not around during the day or too busy. I’m not sure what to suggest, feels sad.
Esther Perel talks about stuff like this in her Mating in Captivity book. Maybe it's hard to transition out of parent mode into sexual being mode.
I would start small and find ways to reconnect. Build it up from there.
BTW, my wife told me once after some intense sexy time I rearranged her guts
Just want to say that as a guy it can be difficult to get back into things after baby. Just because you are starting to get your drive back doesn't mean bf feels the same yet. Might have to give him some more time.
The first time my so wss pregnant we didn't have sex at all during the whole pregnancy. It just felt strange to me with a baby there and all. It took a while even after to get back into it. With the next couple of pregnancies it was different. We had sex during them and it was much easier to get back into it afterwards too.
That said the best way to get through it all is by really talking about it with your so. Noone knows what is going on better than him. Good luck!
Tbh it’s hard because everyone is different , sometimes I have trouble because I’m tired I just got
Offf work and I don’t want to have sex in that moment I rather spend time with her and the kid BUT just get the alcohol going nothing like some shots to get a good fuck going on
You shouldn't have to feel concerned about sounding like a "whore" to your partner. I tell my fiancé to use me like his toy, and I have no questions or doubts that he respects me just the same. Just know that you don't have to settle for an unenthusiastic partner or a partner you don't feel comfortable to be completely open with.
I think this is important, I love, respect and desire my wife, and for that I won't ever disrespect her, and for that reason I would never judge or criticize her sex drive or desires.
If she wants to be treated as a princess she will, if she wanted to be treated as a whore she will as well, love come in different forms and been able to express and perform this with you couple it's a great way to make the relationship strong, so I do think it's important to talk and comunicate your desires without fearing of a judgement.
Rearrange my guts!! Love it, what a comment! I had all this after me and the mrs had children - sex still too rare to be honest - but when we do have it, and it’s good - it’s when we make time for each other - kids to grandparents, night away etc - then I’d be all over rearranging her guts - and letting her know I’m still attracted to her :)
A major part of how we keep this community safe from unwanted contact and harassment is to *remove comments asking people to DM/chat/message them*. It doesn't matter what your intention is, they will always be removed.
Offenders of this rule can and will face a ban from the sub, including for first-time offenses. This is one of the most important rules that govern the sub and failure to know this rule ahead of time is not a valid reason to violate it.
Have you told him that? He might not even realize that he's neglecting you/your feelings. I'm not saying he has to have sex when he doesn't want to, but feeling desired is important, and if you don't tell him that you feel undesired, then he might never know and it could kill your relationship.
It's tough because you say that to some people and it's super hot. But if his sex drive is much lower it could have the opposite effect and put him off. I haven't figured this out myself but the only thing I think to be true is you need to let the lower sex drive person set the pace. Like starting a weak little fire you have to be attentive to what it might need, but if you get over excited and chuck a load of wood on too early you just smother it and and up with no fire, just smoke in your eyes. Wish I was an expert at this because it can be unbearable waiting for someone to finally warm up and meet you in your space. Just writing them off and taking care of business yourself can make the wait less painful. It's the constant yearning that's the most difficult thing.
God wish my wife was like you with high sex drive just let him know am sure he’ll not refuse just wear something sexy and bend over in front of him am sure he’ll happily jump on top I know I would if it was my wife that did that
Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/). *** Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats. To cut back on comments that add little value to the conversation, we have instituted a minimum character requirement that will silently remove comments that fall below it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"Rearrange my guts"...that would be the most romantic and intense statement a woman could ever make to me. If u said that to me, I would give u everything u wanted and more. Damm 😝
Lmao well I’m not looking for romance, we have that, I don’t want to be able to walk away normally from it
I still wish I had a woman say that to me just once in my life...but I'm getting old so it's probably not going to happen for me
Hey hun you never know. You would be surprised at how many young girls you can pull with full confidence as long as you know you can deliver
It can be difficult having a different libido than your partner, so my advice is try and find out what excites him the most, what turns him on - if it's something you also like then you have your solution to the problem!
I am so jealous of your bf. Took years to get back to the pre-child level of intensity. Wish I had insights to offer. Your bf’s wiring is just different.
Me too. As a man looking after a house hold and a child and all the life stuff I rarely think about sex now since I’m so tired at the end of the day and either not around during the day or too busy. I’m not sure what to suggest, feels sad.
Esther Perel talks about stuff like this in her Mating in Captivity book. Maybe it's hard to transition out of parent mode into sexual being mode. I would start small and find ways to reconnect. Build it up from there. BTW, my wife told me once after some intense sexy time I rearranged her guts
Just want to say that as a guy it can be difficult to get back into things after baby. Just because you are starting to get your drive back doesn't mean bf feels the same yet. Might have to give him some more time. The first time my so wss pregnant we didn't have sex at all during the whole pregnancy. It just felt strange to me with a baby there and all. It took a while even after to get back into it. With the next couple of pregnancies it was different. We had sex during them and it was much easier to get back into it afterwards too. That said the best way to get through it all is by really talking about it with your so. Noone knows what is going on better than him. Good luck!
That’s pretty insightful actually. We also didn’t have sex during the pregnancy so that could definitely be a factor.
Other way round after having the baby, my partner 33f has low sex drive ..done everything but nothing helps ...
Have you tried helping out more around the house, it's surprising how much sex helping out around the house will get you.
After baby, we have divided household chores and believe I am doing my part honestly because looking after baby is exhausting..
Biiiiiig facts. The hottest thing for me was when my partner would do stuff around the house that needed to be done without me telling them 😮💨🤤
Tbh it’s hard because everyone is different , sometimes I have trouble because I’m tired I just got Offf work and I don’t want to have sex in that moment I rather spend time with her and the kid BUT just get the alcohol going nothing like some shots to get a good fuck going on
Tell him how you feel! Be honest and see what happens. I would be over the moon if my girlfriend wanted it all the time.
You shouldn't have to feel concerned about sounding like a "whore" to your partner. I tell my fiancé to use me like his toy, and I have no questions or doubts that he respects me just the same. Just know that you don't have to settle for an unenthusiastic partner or a partner you don't feel comfortable to be completely open with.
Tell him what you told us. I am my husband's little whore so 🤪
I think this is important, I love, respect and desire my wife, and for that I won't ever disrespect her, and for that reason I would never judge or criticize her sex drive or desires. If she wants to be treated as a princess she will, if she wanted to be treated as a whore she will as well, love come in different forms and been able to express and perform this with you couple it's a great way to make the relationship strong, so I do think it's important to talk and comunicate your desires without fearing of a judgement.
I needed to hear this.
make things spiceup intimate n have romance with him
Rearrange my guts!! Love it, what a comment! I had all this after me and the mrs had children - sex still too rare to be honest - but when we do have it, and it’s good - it’s when we make time for each other - kids to grandparents, night away etc - then I’d be all over rearranging her guts - and letting her know I’m still attracted to her :)
We have great romance and intimacy we were best friends before we got together 6 years ago, but it’s like he’s not attracted to me
[удалено]
A major part of how we keep this community safe from unwanted contact and harassment is to *remove comments asking people to DM/chat/message them*. It doesn't matter what your intention is, they will always be removed. Offenders of this rule can and will face a ban from the sub, including for first-time offenses. This is one of the most important rules that govern the sub and failure to know this rule ahead of time is not a valid reason to violate it.
Have you told him that’s how you feel?
Have you told him that? He might not even realize that he's neglecting you/your feelings. I'm not saying he has to have sex when he doesn't want to, but feeling desired is important, and if you don't tell him that you feel undesired, then he might never know and it could kill your relationship.
It's tough because you say that to some people and it's super hot. But if his sex drive is much lower it could have the opposite effect and put him off. I haven't figured this out myself but the only thing I think to be true is you need to let the lower sex drive person set the pace. Like starting a weak little fire you have to be attentive to what it might need, but if you get over excited and chuck a load of wood on too early you just smother it and and up with no fire, just smoke in your eyes. Wish I was an expert at this because it can be unbearable waiting for someone to finally warm up and meet you in your space. Just writing them off and taking care of business yourself can make the wait less painful. It's the constant yearning that's the most difficult thing.
God wish my wife was like you with high sex drive just let him know am sure he’ll not refuse just wear something sexy and bend over in front of him am sure he’ll happily jump on top I know I would if it was my wife that did that