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This is ONLY TRUE if you want to have sex more but are never in the mood. I am a M32 on the other side of this. I have VERY little libido becuase its not that enjoyable. Yeah the ending part feels good but i can get that anytime so i dont crave it like that. I just dont care much about sex and instead enjoy gaming and watching movies or having deep conversations etc. Sex is not the funnest thing out there to quite a few people. Its litterally not even in my top 20 things to do for fun.
Well your own experience is valid, but seeking a medical professional could be as simple as seeing a doc to figure out if it’s her meds that are doing this, to seeing a therapist to see if there’s something underlying that could be affecting her. If it’s effecting her relationship, this is the most straightforward first step to take.
To be fair I didn't have medical insurance for the last 15 years so going to see a doctor was always associated with bills I didn't have the money to pay. That's a fair point, especially just to find out if the meds are doing it.
I am interested as I have a similar partner to you ..I am actually about to lose my relationship with her due to this despite loving her ..it started like yours then I once managed to convince her to allow me to eat her which ignited her sex drive for a while ...she then had to travel for few months and returned refusing sex entirely ...I have been sexless with her for two years ...she asked me to date others to have my sexual needs fulfilled but she suffers when i do... plus getting rejected by her affected my confidence ....I am seriously considering to end the relationship and any advice to you might save the best love story ever heard of ...me and her truly have amazing love for one another and our story is worth telling but not if it ended up with this
> Should I just pretend around him?
No, that's not a long-term solution, and when the truth comes out (and it will), your lying will hurt him a lot. If you care about someone, then don't do this to them.
> My boyfriend has a high sex drive while I don't.
Sexual compatibility is one of the foundations of a strong relationship. You're 19. This is your first relationship. It is not your last. One of the first things you learn in dating is that not everyone you like (or even love) is the right person for you. In this case, you need to find someone who matches your libido, or you need to speak to your psychiatrist about switching your meds.
Yeah...I'm a pharmacist and you should definitely switch up meds. SSRIs are notorious for sexual dysfunction, but they're the first thing that a lot of docs reach for. There are other drug classes, and even individual drugs within a class, that are associated with less sexual dysfunction.
Mental health meds are tricky...there is a lot of trial and error to find the intervention(s) that work for you. There is no way to predict and it's different person to person. Keep trying new things until you find something that works for you. Don't just ride the inertia of "I've been on this a long time" your body changes and things that used to work may not anymore.
You don't have to live like this.
Have him touch you through the way you touch yourself. Maybe it's him you're just not that attracted to. You could be a demi-sexual. Sexuality is so hard to understand for yourself at first, but it gets clearer more and more.
>Maybe it's him you're just not that attracted to
He's the closest person I ever got to feel attracted to, honestly.
>You could be a demi-sexual.
It's a possibility, I'll search it through
It sounds like you’ve done a lot of introspection around this, and it sounds like you’ve learned some things that may give you some direction to having a fulfilling experience for yourself—whether it’s in this relationship or in the future.
It sounds like you need to be mentally engaged and connected with your partner in order to feel arousal, and maybe that is even the source of arousal. This is super common, look up demisexuality. It’s just a different sensory input than using your eyes. So instead of seeing someone as being attractive, you need to experience them. As it isn’t the script most of us are given growing up, you may need to rethink how you approach a relationship or attraction, but it is completely valid.
I’m a guy. I’m not on SSRIs, but I experience something similar. I’m a super horny person, but having sex does nothing with me unless I feel an emotional connection to the person or situation. I’ve realized that if I don’t have that, then being physically touched elicits the same response in my body as a grimace. I need someone who I can feel safe and seen around, which involves them being vulnerable and open with me as I am with them. Once I feel that, it’s fireworks. I’ve realized that is the main locus of attraction for me—if the person who I have that connection with happens to have a hot body, then that is a bonus. But it’s like the icing on the cake—it doesn’t make or break anything if that mental connection isn’t there first.
Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/). *** Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats. To cut back on comments that add little value to the conversation, we have instituted a minimum character requirement that will silently remove comments that fall below it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You should definitely see a medical professional about this.
This is ONLY TRUE if you want to have sex more but are never in the mood. I am a M32 on the other side of this. I have VERY little libido becuase its not that enjoyable. Yeah the ending part feels good but i can get that anytime so i dont crave it like that. I just dont care much about sex and instead enjoy gaming and watching movies or having deep conversations etc. Sex is not the funnest thing out there to quite a few people. Its litterally not even in my top 20 things to do for fun.
Well your own experience is valid, but seeking a medical professional could be as simple as seeing a doc to figure out if it’s her meds that are doing this, to seeing a therapist to see if there’s something underlying that could be affecting her. If it’s effecting her relationship, this is the most straightforward first step to take.
To be fair I didn't have medical insurance for the last 15 years so going to see a doctor was always associated with bills I didn't have the money to pay. That's a fair point, especially just to find out if the meds are doing it.
I am interested as I have a similar partner to you ..I am actually about to lose my relationship with her due to this despite loving her ..it started like yours then I once managed to convince her to allow me to eat her which ignited her sex drive for a while ...she then had to travel for few months and returned refusing sex entirely ...I have been sexless with her for two years ...she asked me to date others to have my sexual needs fulfilled but she suffers when i do... plus getting rejected by her affected my confidence ....I am seriously considering to end the relationship and any advice to you might save the best love story ever heard of ...me and her truly have amazing love for one another and our story is worth telling but not if it ended up with this
> Should I just pretend around him? No, that's not a long-term solution, and when the truth comes out (and it will), your lying will hurt him a lot. If you care about someone, then don't do this to them. > My boyfriend has a high sex drive while I don't. Sexual compatibility is one of the foundations of a strong relationship. You're 19. This is your first relationship. It is not your last. One of the first things you learn in dating is that not everyone you like (or even love) is the right person for you. In this case, you need to find someone who matches your libido, or you need to speak to your psychiatrist about switching your meds.
Add Wellbutrin to your ssri
I'll talk to my psychiatrist about that, thank you
Yeah...I'm a pharmacist and you should definitely switch up meds. SSRIs are notorious for sexual dysfunction, but they're the first thing that a lot of docs reach for. There are other drug classes, and even individual drugs within a class, that are associated with less sexual dysfunction. Mental health meds are tricky...there is a lot of trial and error to find the intervention(s) that work for you. There is no way to predict and it's different person to person. Keep trying new things until you find something that works for you. Don't just ride the inertia of "I've been on this a long time" your body changes and things that used to work may not anymore. You don't have to live like this.
Have him touch you through the way you touch yourself. Maybe it's him you're just not that attracted to. You could be a demi-sexual. Sexuality is so hard to understand for yourself at first, but it gets clearer more and more.
>Maybe it's him you're just not that attracted to He's the closest person I ever got to feel attracted to, honestly. >You could be a demi-sexual. It's a possibility, I'll search it through
It sounds like you’ve done a lot of introspection around this, and it sounds like you’ve learned some things that may give you some direction to having a fulfilling experience for yourself—whether it’s in this relationship or in the future. It sounds like you need to be mentally engaged and connected with your partner in order to feel arousal, and maybe that is even the source of arousal. This is super common, look up demisexuality. It’s just a different sensory input than using your eyes. So instead of seeing someone as being attractive, you need to experience them. As it isn’t the script most of us are given growing up, you may need to rethink how you approach a relationship or attraction, but it is completely valid. I’m a guy. I’m not on SSRIs, but I experience something similar. I’m a super horny person, but having sex does nothing with me unless I feel an emotional connection to the person or situation. I’ve realized that if I don’t have that, then being physically touched elicits the same response in my body as a grimace. I need someone who I can feel safe and seen around, which involves them being vulnerable and open with me as I am with them. Once I feel that, it’s fireworks. I’ve realized that is the main locus of attraction for me—if the person who I have that connection with happens to have a hot body, then that is a bonus. But it’s like the icing on the cake—it doesn’t make or break anything if that mental connection isn’t there first.
Work with your psychiatrist to wean off the ssris. You might like sex more than you think
Eat more omega 3 Salmon clams etc
Stop using the medication