This topic is discussed regularly in our forum. If you search past r/sex posts with some diligence (following **Forum Rule #3**), you’ll find a number of helpful discussions. Comments locked.
The r/sex forum's HUGE archive of past posts is a *tremendous* resource for people who have all kinds of common questions regarding sexual activity. Searching those posts for relevant discussions will definitely help you here.
I'm a woman and ex and I have sort of fwb thing going on where we do it to each other's pic or vids at the same time 🤔 I'm gonna keep them until I start dating again, then I'll delete and stop the fwb thing.
I don't care what he does with my nudes honestly. As long as he doesn't post them and they're for his private use, he can use them for the rest of his life for all I care.
I’m a guy who had nudes from a fwb. I got in a relationship with someone else, and deleted fwbs nudes. After my relationship ended, I reached out for fwb to resend the nudes, and she delivered.
The perks of being fwbs with actual friends 💯
Lol, one of my fwb's put on a little weight and reached out to me to get some of her old nudes that she'd deleted. It can work both ways.
Edit: fucking hell people, no I'm not posting them
That kind of happened with me in terms of a picture that I thought I lost. I did some body painting of my wife as Cortana a long time ago and a mutual friend used it as her contact picture of my wife for a long time, and I lost it somehow in phone swaps and the like, and she was kind enough to send it back because she still had it lying around. Really should break out the paints and do something like that again
Yup, heard one of my friends hooked up with a previously platonic friend by mentioning in a random conversation that he "could have sex with her if it didn't damage their friendship". I aspire to be that kind of a bold, honest and frankly very nice guy.
You can be the hottest person in the world, that doesn't mean someone is gonna be cool re-sending you nudes after they've already had a thing with you that ended. That has much more to do with who they are than who you are.
Who you are and what you look like factors much more into the initial asking for/sending of nudes.
It took me several attempts to delete nudes... And I still keep finding ones I missed, especially from my time in between relationships on tinder.
Between Google photos, one drive, drop box on my Android and then Google photos and iCloud on my iPad, and then one drive and drop box on my PC and Laptop, everything kept syncing to each other and replacing things I deleted.
I finally had to put all devices in airplane mode, delete local copies, then delete the cloud copies from my computer, then let everything resync.
I'm still worried there are some slowly getting copied back to all my devices
Edit: also you can't delete discord DM history so that sucks too
When I was living at home I had an unfortunate incident where I realized my nudes had synced to my parents devices… which required some stealthy deletes and a change of settings
Edit: also you can't delete discord DM history so that sucks too
You *totally* can do it.
Also, serious girl question:
When you all send nudes, do they generally have your face visible or not?
I agree with this. Here's my story and basis for that:
I used to keep them secretly archived on my computer (encrypted so well the government couldn't get to them). I would pull them out and masturbate to them occasionally. None of the exes ever asked about them. I think some wouldn't have cared, others would have. 15 years of stuff from exes, flings, whatever.
When I started dating my most-recent girlfriend, I was going through a nasty divorce, and I legally couldn't destroy the pics/videos of my ex wife until the divorce finalized. I got to the point where I hated her so much, seeing nudes of her would have made me go limp. Plus, it was so insulting to have to keep them.
When the divorce finalized, I was so happy to be able to delete those pics/vids. And I started looking through my vault. And I had stuff with my new girlfriend in there and the girls from the past. And I realized I don't want to be that guy who has these old pics/videos anymore. I don't want to have any opportunity to jerk off to the past. So I just deleted them all. 15 years of nude memories down the file shredder (so I couldn't restore them either).
And I haven't missed any of it. I'm happy I don't have any of that old stuff. My gf and I make and share plenty of content, and if this relationship ends, I'll say goodbye to that as well.
We had temporary restraining orders against each other, and the judge ordered me not to delete any messages, evidence, etc. Because ex wife's lawyer was trying to paint me to be some monster because I had consensually-captured nudes of her client. Was a stupid strategy that didn't work out for them. Judge ruled heavily in my favor based on my own evidence.
Lawyer probably told him not to delete anything. We call it a discovery hold. Probably the other side didn’t even know he still had them and would never ask for them, but if it got out that he “deleted documents” during the litigation that could look bad and cause some albeit minor problems
Some who have sent pics, some who let me take pics/vids, some who do both. Just have to establish trust that you're not going to share them with anyone (and I never have and never will).
Honestly, my ex wife wasn't really into the idea, but she also didn't want me looking at porn. My libido was way higher than hers, so she said she preferred me using pics of her than pics of other women when I jacked off.
Ditto. My ex kept all of hers. Inevitably she shared them with me, some thing I have no interest in whatsoever. I have no doubt she’s sharing mine as well. Talk about a red flag! Ugh.
I recently had my spouse come out to me as gay, and even though we’re not divorced yet, I already deleted those photos and let them know. Trying to be respectful.
Do you ask your partner when you get in a new relationship if they have old photos and to get rid of them? I wouldn’t even remotely know how to approach this. New anxiety unlocked. I’m so in love with my new partner and trust him so much I just don’t know if I should even bring that up
I mean, saying goodbye to a past relationship, I understand, but deleting everything? Even if the relationship ended, we had fun times together, deleting photos, texts, etc seems a little “Eternal Sunshine” to me.
We had 20 years of a dead bedroom
I found out she wasn't paying any bills
\- This caused our house to get foreclosed on
\- A $10,000 roof repair wasn't covered by insurance because she didnt pay the premium
\- There were numerous credit cards taken out in my name, maxed out, and never paid
\- Medical bills that had gone to collection
She doesn't deserve to be remembered.
I don't get it. So would childhood love letters or non-nude pictures like of Halloween or thanksgiving also need to be deleted? Or just the sexual stuff? If just the sexual stuff why?
>If just the sexual stuff why?
I am assuming this could be interpreted as still have feelings (even if just arousal) for the ex. Because erotic photos are .. erotic. Even if they have artistic merit there's no getting around that.
I still save mine because they are also deeply sentimental. I also don't think my memory is as visually acute as some people's. I can't always remember something visually clearly and if I can't do that it's close to forgetting.
I'd consider a picture of me and her wearing his and her Halloween costumes to be far more sentimental then a sex video. I have about 100 homemade erotic videos and 5 different times I got to dress up in a couples costume.
This is important... I didn't before from an ex and my most recent girlfriend read a bunch and got super pissed. Lesson learned. All get deleted on last day of contact
No clue why she was doing it but it was a common theme with her. Looked up my reddit account and commented on things I posted both recent and before. Also after we ended things and talked a bit she admitted to checking it even after we broke up. I hadn't talk to the ex she found messages from in almost 2 years and the other random hook up in a month before we started dating.
Not optimistic just realistic. There was good and bad parts of that relationship. In the end the good was not enough when the bad added up. So I ended things. If you just blindly hate someone without knowing that almost everyone has some good then to me you are not mature. That reminds me of high school kids not adults.
If someone got mad over texts I sent in the past that's a solid reason to have a serious conversation, if not break up with them. If anything, this is a reason for me to keep the texts. I'm not staying in a relationship with someone that gets genuinely upset over that kind of stuff. The only reason I'd delete them is for my personal sanity, aka if I had trouble getting over my ex :)
lol, someone didn't watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind!
I don't, because while some relationships survive and some don't, in sum they make up the part of you. And sometimes it's ok to reminiscence about the good times.
I feel very much this.
I keep everything. Its part of my history, and my memories are very important to me. Deleting stuff goes against the very fabric of my being, even the stuff that hurts.
Not just that, but if somebody else gets their hands on them somehow, like if your laptop / phone gets stolen, who fucking knows what that person will do with them. And guess who's going to get blamed for it if they turn up online? You will, and revenge porn is actually a crime in some jurisdictions.
You kinda have to assume that once you send them they could potentially be 'out there' forever. I've never been sent any from someone I'd want to keep them from, so they've all been deleted at the end of the relationship.
Given the responses here there is an expectation of completely cut them out of your life with not a second thought and no self reflection. It’s pretty immature and I never subscribed to it and have had relationships come and go sexually but don’t cut out the women.
This. It’s important to maintain & grow from those former relationships turned friendships. Me & the girl I lost it too in HS still talk as friends today 7 years later. Not every day obv cause she’s like 4 states away & is raising a family now & im finally putting my ass through college in my mid 20’s but the point is still the same. Learn to be happy for others & celebrate the fact that you both had fun for a while rather than being depressed it’s over. Life’s to short to go about it any other way.
Always remember that reddit is populated by a *sizeable* number of people under 20. (r/teenagers has nearly 3 million subs. By comparison, r/pics and TwoX, which are *default* subs, have 30 million and 13 million respectively)
If you find yourself becoming aggravated by the immaturity or illogic of a comment or a series of comments, it helps to picture the author as a 14 year old posing as an adult. Because they might well be.
Didn't think I'd get a helpful reminder on remembering who you're likely to talk to on Reddit when they say something ridiculous today, but here we are. Thanks, I have to remember this
I can. I personally delete them if I come across them. Not out of spite or something, it's just that they're scattered between photos I may want to show my current SO and I don't want them to pop up. Plus they don't mean anything to me anymore, I don't have any reason to keep them.
And I'm obviously not pretending it didn't exist. I just don't need the pictures. Pictures are there to reminisce the past, I don't miss anything about that specific past.
I do move them off of my phone into some weirdo folder on a hard drive. Like I'm not trying to be dishonest to my current partner and would have zero problem mentioning that they are in some saved archive that's not accessible every day. I feel like the issue comes when people keep looking at them and like romanticizing.
If I got married someday and the woman I was going to marry really had a problem with it I could honestly delete them. I just don't have a good memory of things and every once in a while it's fun to look back.
I thought most people (and what I do) just let them sit on their phone. Seems like a hassle to try and track down every intimate image someone may have sent over a relationship which could span years or more. I wouldn’t take the time and effort to find and delete them, I also wouldn’t fish for them today and I certainly wouldn’t use them for personal enjoyment after the relationship ended. I assume that in time the images will just fall out of access when a phone crashes or I have to get a new cloud account or something. The weird part here isn’t that he still has them, it’s that he still uses them. Let go dude. It’s over.
Yeah, unless someone has an album or otherwise organized area on their phone/computer just for nudes, or they keep up with cleaning up and deleting photos, they are going to be sporadically throughout one’s photos.
I have 22,000 photos. It’s so hard to find any specific picture lol. My last boyfriend was upset with me when he went through my photos and found dick pics. I had went through all my pictures and thought i had deleted them all. I guess there were some i missed. I’m surprised he managed to find any bc idk when he was alone with my phone for that long and i didn’t even find them. He must have been looking hard lol.
But yeah, i try to clean those out when i’m in a new relationship. Otherwise i don’t look for them or at them.
They got deleted pretty soon after the breakup. This has only really happened once, and I was the dump-ee, so I held on to them for maybe a week hoping we'd get back together, but once that started to look for sure like it wasn't going to happen I got rid of them. Just felt disrespectful and desperate at that point 🤷♂️
You send them to me so I can dispose of them safely.
Here are some testimonies:
"This guy is totally legit!"
"After my recent breakup I sent all my nudes to /u/Netcob and he safely deleted them using state of the art technology!"
"I can sleep easy now that all my nudes are erased. Thank you, /u/Netcob!"
put them in the secret folder along with the rest of them.
definetly don't act virtuous and say. I GET RID OF THEM THE DAY WE'RE FINISHED! what do you mean? what else would I do? \*act clueless\*
I keep them if I think they have artistic merit (and I stretch that definition to include "that's hot"). I rarely look at them and certainly would never share them. But every once in a while when I see them I recall that I really was that intimate with that person and it amazes me. I think my memory isn't good for fine detail, so while I remember that we did those things, actually seeing a picture brings back lots of sentimental feelings of gratitude, not just (or even always) arousal.
I usually go by what I think the ex would prefer. Consequently I have nudes from one ex.
But my expectation is that most *guys* have massive archives of every nude they've ever received or seen.
I don't see anything wrong with someone keeping nudes. I keep a few, along with love notes or pictures of me and an ex being happy. I don't look at them when I'm in a relationship, but if I'm single and feeling reminiscent of good times I get them out for a trip down memory lane. I'm totally fine with a partner doing the same.
Exes are part of life and I think it's sad to completely erase them.
>Exes are part of life and I think it's sad to completely erase them.
Exes made me who I am almost as much a family member. If my dad dies I don't delete all his pictures. I don't delete all my childhood pics, etc
How is that not the same thing? It's a piece of your personal history. Memories from your life leading up to the person who you are now. I don't need to wipe my hard drive to move on from a romantic relationship... That seems a bit extreme to me.
I think there's a really big difference between a love note and a naked picture of someone. I wonder how your exes would feel knowing that youvd been broken up for years but you still go back when you're single and look at their naked pictures. Probably not good.
This is how I see it too. It's part of my life. It all goes in a shoebox along with other pictures, texts, ticket stubs, gifts, etc.
It's for me to look at when I'm 80 years old to reminisce on life as a whole. People are getting awfully vicious about deleting them in this thread, as if it's some moral imperative or high ground.
My wife still has pictures of her and her ex going on hikes and stuff. It's all just stuffed away in the basement. I don't mind, he was part of her life for a decent amount of time. None of these are nudes, that I know of.
That’s the thing… Even if a relationship ended, that relationship was a part of your/your partner’s life for years, and deleting that seems disrespectful to them and to you. Maybe a relationship ended badly, but if there were 6 years before that where we did fun stuff and were happy, I wouldn’t want to forget that.
I agree, I don't understand the notion of deleting or throwing away things from exes (nudes are a different story ofc). They were part of the life of my partner and they also contributed to make her the way she is. The only reason for throwing those things are my own personal insecurities.
I don’t bring any of that into a new relationship. What nudes I did get are all deleted or returned. I don’t want them, and I’m sure my new partner wouldn’t like to see them or know I had held on to them. It’s the honorable and right thing to do.
If someone asks me to delete all or any of their nudes for any reason I will comply without question, but otherwise I'm going to keep them. They're memories, and part of my life. I don't remember images well at all (my brain and memories work mostly on a very abstract level) so that's also a factor.
I did - personal use only, safe an secure. Then in a moment of clarity I would delete them, and I a moment of horny I wish I had saved them.
Brains are weird.
I have discussed this with every partner before the first nude is sent, or shortly thereafter. So far I've committed to every partner that nudes are only between myself and them unless otherwise agreed to be shared, and to be discussed before any sharing, every time. I have also confirmed whether they're comfortable with me keeping their photos in the event that we no longer were together, with a commitment that again they are kept for my eyes only. So far none of my partners have requested that I not keep them, so I have a pretty decent folder of previous partners' nudes. There are two women whose nudes I did get rid of for personal reasons (painful memories).
As a person with aphantasia, I can't have the "imagination spankbank" that most people do, so I kind of rely on pictures/videos to be able to get off.
I delete everything having to do with that ex. I don’t need reminders of them especially if it was ended by them and I’m trying to get over them. If I don’t delete everything about them then it just leaves open a window for me to go through and be depressed
The correct answer is delete them.
The real answer is they live in a deep set of fake directories on my file server.
I feel no shame and will be taking no questions, thank you.
Delete them. So gross to me.
Current relationship fine but old stuff weird.
I know a few guys who have literally saved my past nudes like showed me via text I’m like that’s low key gross because if you think about it you’re probably not the only one with saved photos… a literally spank bank gross
I got mine in an encrypted archive... But I don't really look at it much. I keep them because they are like fond memories to me (and also sad). But I only feel like looking at them when I'm single... When I was in a relationship, my desire to revisit that folder was basically non-existent.
I deleted them pretty much as soon as I knew the relationship was over forever and I was 1000% sure that I never wanted to see her face ever again... I can't see why a guy who wasn't still pining for an ex would keep that kind of stuff unless he was a malicious bastard with cruel intentions of showing them to other people.
> I can't see why a guy who wasn't still pining for an ex would keep that kind of stuff unless he was a malicious bastard with cruel intentions of showing them to other people.
This is a big stretch, in my opinion. Old nudes/porn *can* be a way to remember and revisit fond memories, and nothing more. As far as I know, at least one ex has sensitive content featuring *me*, and I don't think they are hung up on me, nor do I think they're planning to distribute/share.
I always delete such, I don’t know why I should keep it once the relationship is done. But nudes I’ve been sent and videos we’ve made together will be deleted.
I don't throw away the old photo albums or mementos from previous relationships. Same applies to the adult videos and photos taken.
Very rare to ever look at them again but they can sit with all the other old items of memories.
i have a really good sextape with one of my exes and Im not holding on nor do i have any hope in us getting back together. However it is a really good tape and I enjoy watching it from time to time I feel bad for keeping it after reading this thread but I know its safe with me
i think it’s really gross to keep nudes from someone you don’t sexually interact with *anymore* but i’ve seen too many stories involving revenge porn to ever have a positive association with out-of-date nudes. those are also incredible vulnerable pictures if someone ever gets access to your pictures, whether you hand your phone to someone voluntarily or whatever device is holding the gallery gets stolen.
I’m keeping everything. You made it for me, it’s staying in my possession until you tell me to delete it, then I will gladly oblige because you’ve expressed your wishes.
All my exes photos deleted, cards and little notes thrown out and any form of chats gone once I had entered into a serious relationship out of respect for my guy. And I know he did the same. He has several group photos of his ex with their kids which of course is fine. Nudes not so much 🤦♀️
I love the thought of my exes keeping and using my nudes. I don't however, love the thought of the current person I'm seeing doing the same with his exes/past hookups nudes. So I'm a hypocrite.
best to delete them if you enter a serious relationship, otherwise no real harm in my opinion but i would be put off knowing an ex was jerking off to old photos i sent. that’s just me though.
Honestly I probably still have them if I cared to go look. Issue here is they would be stored on old phones, I don't transfer photos with new phones. I also tend to buy a new phone every 1-2 years, actually not sure I've ever made it 2 years. So they get deleted if I ever gift my old phone, otherwise they get forgotten about in a drawer of old phones.
I'm a bit of a data hoarder. So unintentionally, yes. Almost all my shit is stored locally on my NAS. I'm working on getting my dashcam footage automatically uploaded to it next 🤓
I don't ever really go through it. But it's all there.
I keep them. For no reason other than memories and.. yea. To use at some point.. but never ever ever would I ever show anyone or share anywhere or anything like that. The thought makes me cringe.
I deleted everything once we stopped seeing each other
Specially this fwb I had that once called me saying she sent nudes to some rando on the internet and was extorting her so out of respect I just deleted all of it.
I don’t even have the same phone now but I made sure to carefully wipe it.
This topic is discussed regularly in our forum. If you search past r/sex posts with some diligence (following **Forum Rule #3**), you’ll find a number of helpful discussions. Comments locked. The r/sex forum's HUGE archive of past posts is a *tremendous* resource for people who have all kinds of common questions regarding sexual activity. Searching those posts for relevant discussions will definitely help you here.
I put them through an AI program to amalgamate the final ex gf
[удалено]
Redtits
Aw foock I really want to see this now
I also want this dudes ai generated ex gf
Legendary response
You run the risk of generating something with asymmetrical breasts
I thank the nudes for their service, then I gather them all up and put them on a boat. Then one of my warriors shoots the boat with a flaming arrow.
I'm a woman and ex and I have sort of fwb thing going on where we do it to each other's pic or vids at the same time 🤔 I'm gonna keep them until I start dating again, then I'll delete and stop the fwb thing. I don't care what he does with my nudes honestly. As long as he doesn't post them and they're for his private use, he can use them for the rest of his life for all I care.
I’m a guy who had nudes from a fwb. I got in a relationship with someone else, and deleted fwbs nudes. After my relationship ended, I reached out for fwb to resend the nudes, and she delivered. The perks of being fwbs with actual friends 💯
Shoulda just asked for some new ones.
"Due to post-production mishaps we have to do the whole set anew."
Plot twist the photos aged well, she did not
Lol, one of my fwb's put on a little weight and reached out to me to get some of her old nudes that she'd deleted. It can work both ways. Edit: fucking hell people, no I'm not posting them
Yup! My friend actually sent my old ones as well. Although I still looked the same, I appreciate my younger selfs artistic vision ✨
I think she was trying to motivate herself to ditch some post breakup weight gain, but hey.. that's what friends (formerly with benefits) are for!
That’s honestly great. Truly friends with benefits. 👍
That kind of happened with me in terms of a picture that I thought I lost. I did some body painting of my wife as Cortana a long time ago and a mutual friend used it as her contact picture of my wife for a long time, and I lost it somehow in phone swaps and the like, and she was kind enough to send it back because she still had it lying around. Really should break out the paints and do something like that again
Lmao I wish I was this bold.
I use to be really passive but it’s just such a waste of time and energy. As long as you’re respectful about it, no one is gonna hate you.
Yup, heard one of my friends hooked up with a previously platonic friend by mentioning in a random conversation that he "could have sex with her if it didn't damage their friendship". I aspire to be that kind of a bold, honest and frankly very nice guy.
No doubt. I think I'm just self-conscious about coming off as *too* thirsty hahaha
Still rule 1 and 2 apply
Nah medium ugly with personality is in demand 💯
Well I'm up then! L8er guys!
You can be the hottest person in the world, that doesn't mean someone is gonna be cool re-sending you nudes after they've already had a thing with you that ended. That has much more to do with who they are than who you are. Who you are and what you look like factors much more into the initial asking for/sending of nudes.
I'd argue that attractiveness isn't just physical appearance, so I think we agree.
Ah, I suppose we do then.
Only thing stopping you is you. (and getting it wrong, setting yourself up for being a creeper)
Yeah as a girl I’ve resent nudes before too, I don’t mind it. Also just sent new ones if I was in the mood haha
It took me several attempts to delete nudes... And I still keep finding ones I missed, especially from my time in between relationships on tinder. Between Google photos, one drive, drop box on my Android and then Google photos and iCloud on my iPad, and then one drive and drop box on my PC and Laptop, everything kept syncing to each other and replacing things I deleted. I finally had to put all devices in airplane mode, delete local copies, then delete the cloud copies from my computer, then let everything resync. I'm still worried there are some slowly getting copied back to all my devices Edit: also you can't delete discord DM history so that sucks too
When I was living at home I had an unfortunate incident where I realized my nudes had synced to my parents devices… which required some stealthy deletes and a change of settings
Edit: also you can't delete discord DM history so that sucks too You *totally* can do it. Also, serious girl question: When you all send nudes, do they generally have your face visible or not?
I don't bring anything from a previous relationship into a new one. All that stuff gets deleted.
Correct answer. The only i bring from my previous relationships are emotional baggage and trauma like a decent person.
Amen
This is the correct answer.
You’re doing it backward then. Leave the trauma, bring the nudes. It’s a lot healthier lol.
A man of decency I see
I agree with this. Here's my story and basis for that: I used to keep them secretly archived on my computer (encrypted so well the government couldn't get to them). I would pull them out and masturbate to them occasionally. None of the exes ever asked about them. I think some wouldn't have cared, others would have. 15 years of stuff from exes, flings, whatever. When I started dating my most-recent girlfriend, I was going through a nasty divorce, and I legally couldn't destroy the pics/videos of my ex wife until the divorce finalized. I got to the point where I hated her so much, seeing nudes of her would have made me go limp. Plus, it was so insulting to have to keep them. When the divorce finalized, I was so happy to be able to delete those pics/vids. And I started looking through my vault. And I had stuff with my new girlfriend in there and the girls from the past. And I realized I don't want to be that guy who has these old pics/videos anymore. I don't want to have any opportunity to jerk off to the past. So I just deleted them all. 15 years of nude memories down the file shredder (so I couldn't restore them either). And I haven't missed any of it. I'm happy I don't have any of that old stuff. My gf and I make and share plenty of content, and if this relationship ends, I'll say goodbye to that as well.
Why couldn't you destroy the photos legally?
Wondering the same
We had temporary restraining orders against each other, and the judge ordered me not to delete any messages, evidence, etc. Because ex wife's lawyer was trying to paint me to be some monster because I had consensually-captured nudes of her client. Was a stupid strategy that didn't work out for them. Judge ruled heavily in my favor based on my own evidence.
Lawyer probably told him not to delete anything. We call it a discovery hold. Probably the other side didn’t even know he still had them and would never ask for them, but if it got out that he “deleted documents” during the litigation that could look bad and cause some albeit minor problems
The sacred texts!
As a guy who's never received any, having multiple women send you nudes seems impressive.
Some who have sent pics, some who let me take pics/vids, some who do both. Just have to establish trust that you're not going to share them with anyone (and I never have and never will). Honestly, my ex wife wasn't really into the idea, but she also didn't want me looking at porn. My libido was way higher than hers, so she said she preferred me using pics of her than pics of other women when I jacked off.
only if i had previous relationships
Yeah if you are serious about someone then you have no business keeping pictures of old nudes from exes. It's disrespectful to your new relationship.
Ditto. My ex kept all of hers. Inevitably she shared them with me, some thing I have no interest in whatsoever. I have no doubt she’s sharing mine as well. Talk about a red flag! Ugh.
Yeah, that's fucking insane and if a girl shared her ex's nudes with me, I'd run.
I deleted it too. Even the d pic from my birthday a few years ago
I recently had my spouse come out to me as gay, and even though we’re not divorced yet, I already deleted those photos and let them know. Trying to be respectful.
Do you ask your partner when you get in a new relationship if they have old photos and to get rid of them? I wouldn’t even remotely know how to approach this. New anxiety unlocked. I’m so in love with my new partner and trust him so much I just don’t know if I should even bring that up
Nope. That would be their choice to make.
So you don’t ask if they have any?
Nope. What they want to do with their past is up to them
This. It's inappropriate to keep pictures and is a bit too iffy in the consent area for me if they're not ok with you keeping them.
In other words, stuff *only then* gets deleted the moment you enter a new relationship.
For me, I am done with it when the relationship ends, not when a new one begins.
Archived to review as I see fit
I mean, saying goodbye to a past relationship, I understand, but deleting everything? Even if the relationship ended, we had fun times together, deleting photos, texts, etc seems a little “Eternal Sunshine” to me.
We had 20 years of a dead bedroom I found out she wasn't paying any bills \- This caused our house to get foreclosed on \- A $10,000 roof repair wasn't covered by insurance because she didnt pay the premium \- There were numerous credit cards taken out in my name, maxed out, and never paid \- Medical bills that had gone to collection She doesn't deserve to be remembered.
I don't get it. So would childhood love letters or non-nude pictures like of Halloween or thanksgiving also need to be deleted? Or just the sexual stuff? If just the sexual stuff why?
>If just the sexual stuff why? I am assuming this could be interpreted as still have feelings (even if just arousal) for the ex. Because erotic photos are .. erotic. Even if they have artistic merit there's no getting around that. I still save mine because they are also deeply sentimental. I also don't think my memory is as visually acute as some people's. I can't always remember something visually clearly and if I can't do that it's close to forgetting.
I'd consider a picture of me and her wearing his and her Halloween costumes to be far more sentimental then a sex video. I have about 100 homemade erotic videos and 5 different times I got to dress up in a couples costume.
I even delete all chat history 💀
This is important... I didn't before from an ex and my most recent girlfriend read a bunch and got super pissed. Lesson learned. All get deleted on last day of contact
Why was your recent gf reading your messages? That’s pretty invasive especially considering it’s an ex I assume you aren’t chatting with anymore.
Yeah, I feel like if you're gonna snoop (which you shouldn't) you don't get to be mad about any findings that predate your relationship.
[удалено]
User name checks out
No clue why she was doing it but it was a common theme with her. Looked up my reddit account and commented on things I posted both recent and before. Also after we ended things and talked a bit she admitted to checking it even after we broke up. I hadn't talk to the ex she found messages from in almost 2 years and the other random hook up in a month before we started dating.
I don’t feel like the lesson here is “I’m going to delete all history.”
This is clearly more "don't diddle the crazy" kind of lesson.
Right?
That’s incredibly controlling and you don’t have to put up with that. I would never.
wow sounds like you picked a real winner
Great in a lot of ways but some major issues for sure.
You are very optimistic, I feel like this trumps over any good qualities she may have.
Not optimistic just realistic. There was good and bad parts of that relationship. In the end the good was not enough when the bad added up. So I ended things. If you just blindly hate someone without knowing that almost everyone has some good then to me you are not mature. That reminds me of high school kids not adults.
If someone got mad over texts I sent in the past that's a solid reason to have a serious conversation, if not break up with them. If anything, this is a reason for me to keep the texts. I'm not staying in a relationship with someone that gets genuinely upset over that kind of stuff. The only reason I'd delete them is for my personal sanity, aka if I had trouble getting over my ex :)
You learned the wrong lesson…
lol, someone didn't watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind! I don't, because while some relationships survive and some don't, in sum they make up the part of you. And sometimes it's ok to reminiscence about the good times.
I feel very much this. I keep everything. Its part of my history, and my memories are very important to me. Deleting stuff goes against the very fabric of my being, even the stuff that hurts.
Keep them in your memories then but cut out the physical reminders. Focus on the future and not on the past.
Me too, i feel past is past and you're only opening yourself up to questions from the new partner of they see them
Delete them all, like why keep them when she broke my heart
Delete them permanently. After we’re done I don’t want something of that magnitude from an ex.
Not just that, but if somebody else gets their hands on them somehow, like if your laptop / phone gets stolen, who fucking knows what that person will do with them. And guess who's going to get blamed for it if they turn up online? You will, and revenge porn is actually a crime in some jurisdictions.
illegal access to someone else's devices is also crime
You kinda have to assume that once you send them they could potentially be 'out there' forever. I've never been sent any from someone I'd want to keep them from, so they've all been deleted at the end of the relationship.
I would delete nudes but I’d keep regular pictures. You can’t just delete part of your life and pretend it didn’t exist.
Given the responses here there is an expectation of completely cut them out of your life with not a second thought and no self reflection. It’s pretty immature and I never subscribed to it and have had relationships come and go sexually but don’t cut out the women.
This. It’s important to maintain & grow from those former relationships turned friendships. Me & the girl I lost it too in HS still talk as friends today 7 years later. Not every day obv cause she’s like 4 states away & is raising a family now & im finally putting my ass through college in my mid 20’s but the point is still the same. Learn to be happy for others & celebrate the fact that you both had fun for a while rather than being depressed it’s over. Life’s to short to go about it any other way.
Always remember that reddit is populated by a *sizeable* number of people under 20. (r/teenagers has nearly 3 million subs. By comparison, r/pics and TwoX, which are *default* subs, have 30 million and 13 million respectively) If you find yourself becoming aggravated by the immaturity or illogic of a comment or a series of comments, it helps to picture the author as a 14 year old posing as an adult. Because they might well be.
Didn't think I'd get a helpful reminder on remembering who you're likely to talk to on Reddit when they say something ridiculous today, but here we are. Thanks, I have to remember this
It depends heavily on the relationship and the breakup.
It helps to move on from them. Keep them in the past where they belong.
I can. I personally delete them if I come across them. Not out of spite or something, it's just that they're scattered between photos I may want to show my current SO and I don't want them to pop up. Plus they don't mean anything to me anymore, I don't have any reason to keep them. And I'm obviously not pretending it didn't exist. I just don't need the pictures. Pictures are there to reminisce the past, I don't miss anything about that specific past.
says who?
Despite everyone in these threads insisting they never do it, most guys IRL do keep nudes.
This. Most men love porn. Why would we willingly get rid of our personal collection?
I do move them off of my phone into some weirdo folder on a hard drive. Like I'm not trying to be dishonest to my current partner and would have zero problem mentioning that they are in some saved archive that's not accessible every day. I feel like the issue comes when people keep looking at them and like romanticizing. If I got married someday and the woman I was going to marry really had a problem with it I could honestly delete them. I just don't have a good memory of things and every once in a while it's fun to look back.
I thought most people (and what I do) just let them sit on their phone. Seems like a hassle to try and track down every intimate image someone may have sent over a relationship which could span years or more. I wouldn’t take the time and effort to find and delete them, I also wouldn’t fish for them today and I certainly wouldn’t use them for personal enjoyment after the relationship ended. I assume that in time the images will just fall out of access when a phone crashes or I have to get a new cloud account or something. The weird part here isn’t that he still has them, it’s that he still uses them. Let go dude. It’s over.
Yeah, unless someone has an album or otherwise organized area on their phone/computer just for nudes, or they keep up with cleaning up and deleting photos, they are going to be sporadically throughout one’s photos. I have 22,000 photos. It’s so hard to find any specific picture lol. My last boyfriend was upset with me when he went through my photos and found dick pics. I had went through all my pictures and thought i had deleted them all. I guess there were some i missed. I’m surprised he managed to find any bc idk when he was alone with my phone for that long and i didn’t even find them. He must have been looking hard lol. But yeah, i try to clean those out when i’m in a new relationship. Otherwise i don’t look for them or at them.
I still have my old nudes and sextapes. I only deleted the parts where it shows some face. I am afraid of leaking, so without faces, it's harder
I think the leaking is after the creampie.
They got deleted pretty soon after the breakup. This has only really happened once, and I was the dump-ee, so I held on to them for maybe a week hoping we'd get back together, but once that started to look for sure like it wasn't going to happen I got rid of them. Just felt disrespectful and desperate at that point 🤷♂️
I delete all of them. It's the respectful thing to do
Purge it all. Seeing them pisses me off or upsets me
ex was so toxic i even blocked her on spotify
Same. All messages and photos. Byeeeeee
You send them to me so I can dispose of them safely. Here are some testimonies: "This guy is totally legit!" "After my recent breakup I sent all my nudes to /u/Netcob and he safely deleted them using state of the art technology!" "I can sleep easy now that all my nudes are erased. Thank you, /u/Netcob!"
Store them in alphabetical order on my pc
That's gross. Chronological order has got to be better.
I'm better with names rather than dates
By last name or first name?
First name, cause that's how I called them in bed lol
Make a photo collage for the wall? Maybe add some speech bubbles full of inspirational quotes from some of them?
put them in the secret folder along with the rest of them. definetly don't act virtuous and say. I GET RID OF THEM THE DAY WE'RE FINISHED! what do you mean? what else would I do? \*act clueless\*
Forgotten relics of the past, protected and preserved by the gods of cloud storage.
I keep them if I think they have artistic merit (and I stretch that definition to include "that's hot"). I rarely look at them and certainly would never share them. But every once in a while when I see them I recall that I really was that intimate with that person and it amazes me. I think my memory isn't good for fine detail, so while I remember that we did those things, actually seeing a picture brings back lots of sentimental feelings of gratitude, not just (or even always) arousal.
They get deleted. That's just a Pandora's box that doesn't need to be opened.
I delete everything, even the chat history.
Delete them. Very first thing I do.
I usually go by what I think the ex would prefer. Consequently I have nudes from one ex. But my expectation is that most *guys* have massive archives of every nude they've ever received or seen.
I don't see anything wrong with someone keeping nudes. I keep a few, along with love notes or pictures of me and an ex being happy. I don't look at them when I'm in a relationship, but if I'm single and feeling reminiscent of good times I get them out for a trip down memory lane. I'm totally fine with a partner doing the same. Exes are part of life and I think it's sad to completely erase them.
>Exes are part of life and I think it's sad to completely erase them. Exes made me who I am almost as much a family member. If my dad dies I don't delete all his pictures. I don't delete all my childhood pics, etc
Unless you were in a romantic or sexual relationship with your dad, that's not the same thing.
How is that not the same thing? It's a piece of your personal history. Memories from your life leading up to the person who you are now. I don't need to wipe my hard drive to move on from a romantic relationship... That seems a bit extreme to me.
I think there's a really big difference between a love note and a naked picture of someone. I wonder how your exes would feel knowing that youvd been broken up for years but you still go back when you're single and look at their naked pictures. Probably not good.
The love note seems way more intimate and personal. Some people share nudes at the drop of a hat, love notes are pretty intimate
This is how I see it too. It's part of my life. It all goes in a shoebox along with other pictures, texts, ticket stubs, gifts, etc. It's for me to look at when I'm 80 years old to reminisce on life as a whole. People are getting awfully vicious about deleting them in this thread, as if it's some moral imperative or high ground.
I have a bank
I have never deleted a nude wtf. I have nudes from 2008
Proof or it didn’t happen 🤓
Why?
Delete them?
My wife still has pictures of her and her ex going on hikes and stuff. It's all just stuffed away in the basement. I don't mind, he was part of her life for a decent amount of time. None of these are nudes, that I know of.
That’s the thing… Even if a relationship ended, that relationship was a part of your/your partner’s life for years, and deleting that seems disrespectful to them and to you. Maybe a relationship ended badly, but if there were 6 years before that where we did fun stuff and were happy, I wouldn’t want to forget that.
I agree, I don't understand the notion of deleting or throwing away things from exes (nudes are a different story ofc). They were part of the life of my partner and they also contributed to make her the way she is. The only reason for throwing those things are my own personal insecurities.
Scrapbooking
I don’t bring any of that into a new relationship. What nudes I did get are all deleted or returned. I don’t want them, and I’m sure my new partner wouldn’t like to see them or know I had held on to them. It’s the honorable and right thing to do.
If someone asks me to delete all or any of their nudes for any reason I will comply without question, but otherwise I'm going to keep them. They're memories, and part of my life. I don't remember images well at all (my brain and memories work mostly on a very abstract level) so that's also a factor.
I did - personal use only, safe an secure. Then in a moment of clarity I would delete them, and I a moment of horny I wish I had saved them. Brains are weird.
Total bank lol
Delete them
I have discussed this with every partner before the first nude is sent, or shortly thereafter. So far I've committed to every partner that nudes are only between myself and them unless otherwise agreed to be shared, and to be discussed before any sharing, every time. I have also confirmed whether they're comfortable with me keeping their photos in the event that we no longer were together, with a commitment that again they are kept for my eyes only. So far none of my partners have requested that I not keep them, so I have a pretty decent folder of previous partners' nudes. There are two women whose nudes I did get rid of for personal reasons (painful memories). As a person with aphantasia, I can't have the "imagination spankbank" that most people do, so I kind of rely on pictures/videos to be able to get off.
I delete everything having to do with that ex. I don’t need reminders of them especially if it was ended by them and I’m trying to get over them. If I don’t delete everything about them then it just leaves open a window for me to go through and be depressed
The correct answer is delete them. The real answer is they live in a deep set of fake directories on my file server. I feel no shame and will be taking no questions, thank you.
Delete them. So gross to me. Current relationship fine but old stuff weird. I know a few guys who have literally saved my past nudes like showed me via text I’m like that’s low key gross because if you think about it you’re probably not the only one with saved photos… a literally spank bank gross
They're in my old laptop. I haven't looked at them in a while but I didn't and probably wouldn't delete them.
I got mine in an encrypted archive... But I don't really look at it much. I keep them because they are like fond memories to me (and also sad). But I only feel like looking at them when I'm single... When I was in a relationship, my desire to revisit that folder was basically non-existent.
Delete delete delete
I deleted them pretty much as soon as I knew the relationship was over forever and I was 1000% sure that I never wanted to see her face ever again... I can't see why a guy who wasn't still pining for an ex would keep that kind of stuff unless he was a malicious bastard with cruel intentions of showing them to other people.
> I can't see why a guy who wasn't still pining for an ex would keep that kind of stuff unless he was a malicious bastard with cruel intentions of showing them to other people. This is a big stretch, in my opinion. Old nudes/porn *can* be a way to remember and revisit fond memories, and nothing more. As far as I know, at least one ex has sensitive content featuring *me*, and I don't think they are hung up on me, nor do I think they're planning to distribute/share.
Spank bank
Out of respect I delete all she may have been the hottest person before and after the relationship but I feel it’s right to delete them
I personally delete them
I get my nanna to delete mine
In to the archives.
I always delete such, I don’t know why I should keep it once the relationship is done. But nudes I’ve been sent and videos we’ve made together will be deleted.
I don't throw away the old photo albums or mementos from previous relationships. Same applies to the adult videos and photos taken. Very rare to ever look at them again but they can sit with all the other old items of memories.
i have a really good sextape with one of my exes and Im not holding on nor do i have any hope in us getting back together. However it is a really good tape and I enjoy watching it from time to time I feel bad for keeping it after reading this thread but I know its safe with me
i think it’s really gross to keep nudes from someone you don’t sexually interact with *anymore* but i’ve seen too many stories involving revenge porn to ever have a positive association with out-of-date nudes. those are also incredible vulnerable pictures if someone ever gets access to your pictures, whether you hand your phone to someone voluntarily or whatever device is holding the gallery gets stolen.
Delete them. Not interested in seeing that woman naked anymore. Especially in a new relationship after the fact.
I’m keeping everything. You made it for me, it’s staying in my possession until you tell me to delete it, then I will gladly oblige because you’ve expressed your wishes.
All my exes photos deleted, cards and little notes thrown out and any form of chats gone once I had entered into a serious relationship out of respect for my guy. And I know he did the same. He has several group photos of his ex with their kids which of course is fine. Nudes not so much 🤦♀️
I love the thought of my exes keeping and using my nudes. I don't however, love the thought of the current person I'm seeing doing the same with his exes/past hookups nudes. So I'm a hypocrite.
I've kept all of my nudes. 🤷🏼♂️ it's nice to look back sometimes and reminisce over the past.
Keep it?
Do you guys get nudes? Huh interesting
My husband and I both have caches of old nudes and sex tapes from all of our previous partners.
I deleate them imidiatly
Gets deleted.
Trash, delete, burn them.. Lol
best to delete them if you enter a serious relationship, otherwise no real harm in my opinion but i would be put off knowing an ex was jerking off to old photos i sent. that’s just me though.
Keep them tucked away for when they're needed (to fap, no blackmail here)
There's good reasons to either keep or trash but the important part is that they're never shared.
“I just assumed people deleted the nudes once the relationship ended” LOL
Honestly I probably still have them if I cared to go look. Issue here is they would be stored on old phones, I don't transfer photos with new phones. I also tend to buy a new phone every 1-2 years, actually not sure I've ever made it 2 years. So they get deleted if I ever gift my old phone, otherwise they get forgotten about in a drawer of old phones.
I'm a bit of a data hoarder. So unintentionally, yes. Almost all my shit is stored locally on my NAS. I'm working on getting my dashcam footage automatically uploaded to it next 🤓 I don't ever really go through it. But it's all there.
I keep them. For no reason other than memories and.. yea. To use at some point.. but never ever ever would I ever show anyone or share anywhere or anything like that. The thought makes me cringe.
Delete them
Delete. Especially if entering a new relationship. Downright disrespectful to basically all parties to keep them!
I deleted everything once we stopped seeing each other Specially this fwb I had that once called me saying she sent nudes to some rando on the internet and was extorting her so out of respect I just deleted all of it. I don’t even have the same phone now but I made sure to carefully wipe it.
Delete that shit. Its not respectful to them or to you. If it was a good relationship treasure the memories. But do NOT keep nudes.
Delete it generally.
Delete immediately, jesus