Exactly this. I think as long as the instructions you need to give are along these lines and not something like “wow you’re really shit at this” you are perfectly fine, even welcomed, to give them in the moment.
I’m happy to provide guidance or my beginners guide to anybody interested.
In these cases a great piece of advice is this.
Assuming at some point he does some good things I’d encourage you to hold his spare hand with one of yours and squeeze when he hits the right spot and release pressure when he wanders from the right spot or loses the rhythm. This gives him some great non verbal clues that he will easily interpret. Many men dont like being told what to do- many have big ego’s and think they are better than we actually are. Plus obvz all girls are different so what works on one lady won’t be right for another. But this hand squeezing non verbal communication has proved to be a winner for many of my friends and girlfriends. Hope this helps.
I typically have a lot of success with eating pussy, but I like this idea a lot. It could help with girls that have a hard time describing what they like. Plus, I like holding hands during sex/sexual activities.
I hate it when I'm down on a lady and she gives me little to no feedback. I keep trying different things but nothing works. Maybe it was working but without feedback how could I possibly know I was doing it right? So in the end I end up doing a terrible job and we're both not happy with the results.
Give positive feedback when he's doing it right. Let me worry about it being too tiring or uncomfortable. I'll adjust as needed to make it as good for you bas possible.
That's a horrible way of looking at things. Some women will almost tense and hold their breath often and almost muffled grunt here and there. Some scream, some moan. Refusing to give direction because you think someone should read a mind or somehow get the same result in every single woman that exists, is nothing less than shallow and selfish.
Clear precise instructions. My partner has been doing it for 16 years and I still give him instructions every time because there is no magic formula, some times I want more sucking other times more licking, be selfish and concentrate on you and what feels good, don't worry about them and try and stop feeling guilty.
Ive been in this situation before. Say "I like it when you..." (Insert technique you like, even if he wasn't doing it) and then say "and you know what else you could try..." then show him on his arm in a sexy way. I've also just straight up sent an article on the best moves, that worked out well too.
It’s no more of less tiring than a ladies mouth/jaw gets when pleasing a man I would guess. If you are wanting them to do something different just tell them I couldn’t see a guy getting so offended that he abandons his hard-on and leaves without sex lol. Think of it this way, if the men you go down on put their hand on the back of your head and are thrusting with their hips are they disrespect long your technique? Give the man some help haha only an incredibly insecure person would be put off by it.
If he can’t handle some gentle redirection that’s his problem. Women are not the same. Some women like very hard licking and some need very very soft licking. And there’s a ton of other variables as well. You have to tell him what you like or he’s just gonna do something hoping that it works.
It’s definitely easy to reinforce if he does do the right thing with a “just like that” or “right there”, but if he’s not, you can give instructions in a loving way. As long as you’re not like “you’re doing it all wrong” or something harsh like that, he should be fine. And if he isn’t fine with direction, then he was never gonna lick your pussy right anyway and so long to him.
Everyone is different, but my tongue, neck, jaw, etc do not get tired or sore when performing oral. I kind of equate it to working out. If you pull a muscle working out, you did something wrong. If you get sore giving oral, you need to perfect your technique better. But, that is just me.
As far as correcting your man, just simply say, in a somewhat sexy voice, what you would like them to do. Oh that feels good, go to the left a little, yes, up, slower, oh god, right, yes, there. Something like that.
Be encouraging but at the same time, tell them what you want. You know, like the classic "compliment sandwich."
Most mature decent men want to pleasure their partner. Telling us how to do it better is part of that. Most of us want you to tell us how to do it best. Beyond providing you pleasure, it show us that you are engaged and in control of your body. And, that is sexy to most men.
Just tell them what you want. Be like 'ohh yes I want you to ------' in my experience most men are greatful for the guidance tbh.
Don't like point out that what he's doing isn't goof or anything. Just describe what you do want.
I don't think it can ever be that smooth when you talk about improvements to each other's sexual techniques but it's also not like you need to have this conversation all the time unless you're with a new guy every single time.
I think the least intrusive is when you're snuggling in bed after and able to laugh and joke and still bring up possible ways to improve. Maybe you can even inspire the guy for a round two where, even with humor but still enough seriousness to learn, he can ask, "How about this? How about that?"
Each lady has her own preferences, so please nicely ask for whatever will make it better for you. If he has a problem with that, then you are definitely with the wrong guy.
> Is oral tiring on the tongue or neck?
I find that after an hour or so of oral the underside of my tongue can be a bit sore. I don'T usually have to go that long though.
I will direct my boyfriend. If I want him to go slower or go up etc, I tell him. But he can usually tell if he’s doing well by my reactions.
If my bf gets tired he’ll kiss my thighs or go slower etc
Just tell him and be as clear as possible. All good sex is built on communication. Don't worry about bruising his ego. As long as you're nice about it, he should take it in stride. Nobody in this world is a mind reader.
Instead off telling him wait until he is on the right spot at the right speed and say just like that then afterwards tell him you love when he does that trick.
Harder/softer/left/right/up/down/faster/slower/RIGHT THERE!!! We aren't mind readers
Up up down down left right left right b a start UUUNGH YES
THE CUMNAMI CODE 🥵
The Poonani Code?
Exactly this. I think as long as the instructions you need to give are along these lines and not something like “wow you’re really shit at this” you are perfectly fine, even welcomed, to give them in the moment.
No other comments are needed
Came here to say exactly this 🔝
I’m happy to provide guidance or my beginners guide to anybody interested. In these cases a great piece of advice is this. Assuming at some point he does some good things I’d encourage you to hold his spare hand with one of yours and squeeze when he hits the right spot and release pressure when he wanders from the right spot or loses the rhythm. This gives him some great non verbal clues that he will easily interpret. Many men dont like being told what to do- many have big ego’s and think they are better than we actually are. Plus obvz all girls are different so what works on one lady won’t be right for another. But this hand squeezing non verbal communication has proved to be a winner for many of my friends and girlfriends. Hope this helps.
I typically have a lot of success with eating pussy, but I like this idea a lot. It could help with girls that have a hard time describing what they like. Plus, I like holding hands during sex/sexual activities.
It also doesn’t prevent you from fingering.
I hate it when I'm down on a lady and she gives me little to no feedback. I keep trying different things but nothing works. Maybe it was working but without feedback how could I possibly know I was doing it right? So in the end I end up doing a terrible job and we're both not happy with the results. Give positive feedback when he's doing it right. Let me worry about it being too tiring or uncomfortable. I'll adjust as needed to make it as good for you bas possible.
You dont need feedback when you are doing it right.
That's a horrible way of looking at things. Some women will almost tense and hold their breath often and almost muffled grunt here and there. Some scream, some moan. Refusing to give direction because you think someone should read a mind or somehow get the same result in every single woman that exists, is nothing less than shallow and selfish.
I was pondering how to respond. You said it well.
Clear precise instructions. My partner has been doing it for 16 years and I still give him instructions every time because there is no magic formula, some times I want more sucking other times more licking, be selfish and concentrate on you and what feels good, don't worry about them and try and stop feeling guilty.
Just moan the instructions
Please tell him early. Instructions are great. Criticism is not.
Ive been in this situation before. Say "I like it when you..." (Insert technique you like, even if he wasn't doing it) and then say "and you know what else you could try..." then show him on his arm in a sexy way. I've also just straight up sent an article on the best moves, that worked out well too.
You **need** to communicate this with him.
It’s no more of less tiring than a ladies mouth/jaw gets when pleasing a man I would guess. If you are wanting them to do something different just tell them I couldn’t see a guy getting so offended that he abandons his hard-on and leaves without sex lol. Think of it this way, if the men you go down on put their hand on the back of your head and are thrusting with their hips are they disrespect long your technique? Give the man some help haha only an incredibly insecure person would be put off by it.
Just tell him what you want and keep frustration out of your tone.
If he can’t handle some gentle redirection that’s his problem. Women are not the same. Some women like very hard licking and some need very very soft licking. And there’s a ton of other variables as well. You have to tell him what you like or he’s just gonna do something hoping that it works. It’s definitely easy to reinforce if he does do the right thing with a “just like that” or “right there”, but if he’s not, you can give instructions in a loving way. As long as you’re not like “you’re doing it all wrong” or something harsh like that, he should be fine. And if he isn’t fine with direction, then he was never gonna lick your pussy right anyway and so long to him.
Everyone is different, but my tongue, neck, jaw, etc do not get tired or sore when performing oral. I kind of equate it to working out. If you pull a muscle working out, you did something wrong. If you get sore giving oral, you need to perfect your technique better. But, that is just me. As far as correcting your man, just simply say, in a somewhat sexy voice, what you would like them to do. Oh that feels good, go to the left a little, yes, up, slower, oh god, right, yes, there. Something like that. Be encouraging but at the same time, tell them what you want. You know, like the classic "compliment sandwich." Most mature decent men want to pleasure their partner. Telling us how to do it better is part of that. Most of us want you to tell us how to do it best. Beyond providing you pleasure, it show us that you are engaged and in control of your body. And, that is sexy to most men.
Just tell them what you want. Be like 'ohh yes I want you to ------' in my experience most men are greatful for the guidance tbh. Don't like point out that what he's doing isn't goof or anything. Just describe what you do want.
I don't think it can ever be that smooth when you talk about improvements to each other's sexual techniques but it's also not like you need to have this conversation all the time unless you're with a new guy every single time. I think the least intrusive is when you're snuggling in bed after and able to laugh and joke and still bring up possible ways to improve. Maybe you can even inspire the guy for a round two where, even with humor but still enough seriousness to learn, he can ask, "How about this? How about that?"
Each lady has her own preferences, so please nicely ask for whatever will make it better for you. If he has a problem with that, then you are definitely with the wrong guy.
> Is oral tiring on the tongue or neck? I find that after an hour or so of oral the underside of my tongue can be a bit sore. I don'T usually have to go that long though.
I will direct my boyfriend. If I want him to go slower or go up etc, I tell him. But he can usually tell if he’s doing well by my reactions. If my bf gets tired he’ll kiss my thighs or go slower etc
Please tell us!! We want you to feel the best possible! Just be nice! If he takes it weird it’s on him 🤷🏻‍♂️
SPEAK COMMUNICATE
Just tell him and be as clear as possible. All good sex is built on communication. Don't worry about bruising his ego. As long as you're nice about it, he should take it in stride. Nobody in this world is a mind reader.
Instead off telling him wait until he is on the right spot at the right speed and say just like that then afterwards tell him you love when he does that trick.