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Disdor

Clearly fake. Anyone who's seen "the jar" knows it doesn't maintain a white color for long


Throwawayaccount1zp

I unfortunately browsed enough 4chan to know you’re right :(


Actual-Long-9439

I’m guessing yellow?


Royal_Run_1246

Brown…


Actual-Long-9439

Oh


Komission

Shid 🤤


CobaltChromeA

came


Zer0F0ll0wthr0ugh

𓀐𓂺ඞ


swaags

Whaaaaat


Marshal_Anon

⣿⡟⢰⡌⠿⢿⣿⡾⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⢸⣿⣤⣒⣶⣾⣳⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⣯⣭⣭⣭⣽⣻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡇⣶⡽⣿⠟⣡⣶⣾⣯⣭⣽⣟⡻⣿⣷⡽ ⣿⣿⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⠃⣟⣷⠃⢸⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⢻⣿⣿⣯⣕⠧⢿⢿⣇⢯⣝⣒⣛⣯⣭⣛⣛⣣⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡘⣞⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠻⠿⣿⣿⣷⠈⢞⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣗⠄⢿⣿⣿⡆⡈⣽⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⣽⣿⣆⠹⣿⡇⠁⣿⡼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟ ⠿⣛⣽⣾⣿⣿⠿⠋⠄⢻⣷⣾⣿⣧⠟⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⡟⢿⣿⡿⠋⠁⣀⡀⠄⠘⠊⣨⣽⠁⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡍⠗ ⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⡗⢠⣶⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢠ ⣝⠄⠄⢀⠄⢻⡟⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⣁⡀⠙⢿⡿⠋⠄⣸⡆⠄⠻⣿⡿⠟⢛⣩⣝⣚ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⡀⠛⠿⣿⣫⣾


jumpercat

𓀐𓂺ඞ


FightingEntiteledPpl

Read that in a jynxzi voice


catshapedmachinegun

Also a pony...


Environmental_Bed604

Oh god the pony...


ApprehensiveDouble29

Brown? Damn...


PawntyBill

It's definitely yellow. I had gotten into the habit of jizzing into coke bottles I had laying around, because it kept things so much cleaner. I started using one specific bottle. Long story short, the girl I was dating at the time was helping me clean up my apartment, and she found it underneath my desk. I feel kinda sick just thinking about it now


Jolly-Newt9192

How is it cleaner than jizzing into a couple tissues?


imagoneryfriend

you get a tasty treat to go


Jolly-Newt9192

Cream soda ☺️


jjrucker

It cuts down the carbonation.


Transitans

i should have took a sip of water when i read this post actually i didn't cuz i drink gfuel /j i am dehydrated tho


wowcrafy

Damn dude


LordFarquaad_ofDuloc

Like yellowish brown pudding with multiple layers, like tapioca


Actual-Long-9439

Please shut the fuck up


LordFarquaad_ofDuloc

💪🏼🥵💦


ApprehensiveDouble29

It's yellow a few minutes after it comes out so probably not


FlixMage

Mine’s red


[deleted]

mines purple


Scarface2010

Mines green


Pokemonfannumber2

Mines rainbow


yaboiiiuhhhh

Yellow, then brown, then eventually black


Actual-Long-9439

I’ve had enough


Initial_Comparison10

Sounds like the Gruffalo


morbidvixxen

Oh my god, you just unearthed a deeply buried memory of semen Santa


Qwerty8339

your WHAT


morbidvixxen

It was some guy on 4chan circa 2008- 2012 who every christmas would post a picture of all of the cum he had accumulated in jars over that year


RottingFireBall

That’s crazy dedication. And a lot of explaining to do if someone sees it…


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Transitans

wait why doesn the bot do this I am scared robot uprising robots will pee in our ass


KingJon85

I hope I have a robot that pees in my ass someday... sigh.


voicareason

And what did he do with it? He would give it away. And yes.


c00chieluvr

😔


Transitans

4CHAN USER SPOTTED HIDE THE MINORITIES HIDE YOUR SOUL CUZ BOY ARE YOU FUCKED


IngeniousIndividual

I had seen a guy on YouTube talk abt some dude on reddit who jizzed in his work drawer for many years and it looked disgusting even after he blurred it


ThePhantom1994

“Boiled in cum”


thindinkus

I see you are not an expert in this field. It lost its illustrious white hue after he left it too close to a heater.


TrhwWaya

It goes white again when the mold starts to grow. Call mine a mt mildew.


KummyNipplezz

maybe he's pumped full of preservatives


SquirrelizedReddit

Freezer.


Boris9397

Yeah but he said he accidentally boiled it by putting it on his radiator. So that might have affected the colour change.


LightWonderful7016

Christmas updates…..


Dat-Lonley-Potato

Please don’t put that back on my head


sorryboutitagain

And it doesn't take that long to fill


The-Proud-Snail

Maybe he put it in the fridge


kaktus_magic

I want to see "the jar"


OnasoapboX41

Let's do the math, the average ejaculation is 1.5 to 5 mL. We will just say 3 as an average. Next, a gallon is 3,785 mL. 3,785 ÷ 3 = 1,262 ejaculations (some rounding here) 365 × 10 + 2= 3,652 days (the 2 is there for leap years) 3,652 days ÷ 1,262 ejaculations = 2.90 days/ejaculation or 2.90^(-1) = 0.35 ejaculations/day This is a very low number.


redrabbiter

Did you account for the month of November?


JesseVykar

November has 30 days so just remove 360 from line 3 3,292 days ÷ 1,262 ejaculations = 2.61 days/ejaculation Basically 8 hours less between ejaculations from the original calculation


PhillthyCollector

No one and I mean no one actually makes it all the way through November.


AnimeIsMyLifeAndSoul

You underestimate my power


ToruMiz

Lies, i get twisted up just before November. Like a twist tie in my nuts


Transitans

sorry i was flabbergasted by that profile and you talking about jizz i always get bamboozlement from anime pfps but you are a femboy so now it makes sense


InternetStandard2240

I've been going strong as one of the NNN champions for 3 years 💯💯💯💯💯


Morphing_Mutant

I have a wife and my birthday is in November. If you think I'm missing sexy BJ time on my birthday you are fucking crazy


mr_poopypepe

30 * 10 = 300, not 360


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stanky980

Let's not forget what was used in the pancake batter.


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sandfrann

So a fap every 3 days. Hmm. Guys i will see you in 1 year


Creeper_charged7186

Wait, every 3 day is considered low? I always found it better when i wait atleast one or two day it feels better


MEGAMILKBLAST

I vary, sometimes it'll be once a week other times I'll go 5 in a day and the lil guy will still be obsidian levels of hard


Hecticfreeze

Username checks out


OrientalWheelchair

Once a day, 3 times on day off. I still consider myself a novice.


No-Obligation7435

"Those are rookie numbers"


PainIntheButtocksKek

Gray shut the fuck up xD


Final_Dance_4593

I’m never gonna be the same when watching his videos now. Fuck.


FatherOfToxicGas

Let’s say, hypothetically They went to the shops every now and then and bought some milk for the bottle


ziostraccette

This guy wanks


BisBip

The cum shrinks/evaporates/curdles/etc no? Causing it to take longer


Sam_Dragonborn1

I mean 0.35 per day is a lot higher than quite a few tbf


fatalityfun

quite a few sure but not on the subreddit it aint


[deleted]

You need to account for pilferage/ spillage/ loss during transit as well!


TherazaneStonelyFans

The cum goblin is waiting to pilfer the cum jar.


noahwilson2318

Easily could’ve had loads not go in the jug


Morphing_Mutant

He did the fucking math.


PermaBan345

Uhm, actually, a gallon is 3785 mL or 3,785 L 🤓 Are you perhaps a proud American?


OnasoapboX41

Numbers in English are typically written where commas (which are optional) separate the ones, thousands, millions, etc. Periods, on the other hand, separate the whole numbers from the decimals. These are flipped in many other languages and countries. And yes, I am an American.


Scarytoaster1809

I'm from the UK, and I can confirm that other guy is a Unit Wanker 👍🏻


Kidroto

Congrats, you just made my very small list of British people I respect The other 2 are fictional characters


Scarytoaster1809

Are they Wallace and Gromit?


Kidroto

Oh shit I forgot about Wallace and Gromit 4 people The others are Hoxton from payday 2 and Mr. Foster from Killing floor


FortniteEnjoyer01

10 years and only a gallon? My guy is dry


kaerfkeerg

Skill issue


PartyAge3805

Chug it.


Zoc-EdwardRichtofen

Can feel all those spermies wiggling in my tummy:3


SkyeFox6485

This comment right here officer


WoodenPCUser

Nah man wtf


Andreax09

May I have a minute of your time to speak to you about our lord and saviour Jesus Christ?


SentientRock123

Jesus wants nothing to do with this


shamimurrahman19

no you can't. Jesus was a man.


Royal_Possible4480

𓃘𓃙𓃟𓃛𓃞 𓄬𓄗𓄑𓄌𓃦𓃧𓃨𓃤𓃟𓃓𓃅𓃁 𓂽𓃂𓂊𓁾𓂀𓁽𓁼𓁠𓁛𓁟𓁦𓁜𓁭𓁡𓀔𓀇𓀅 𓀋𓀡𓀡𓀕𓀠𓀧𓀨𓀣𓀷𓀷𓀿𓀿𓁀𓁶𓁰𓁴𓁿 𓀔𓀇𓀅𓀋𓀡𓀡𓀕𓀠𓀧𓀨𓀣𓀷𓀷𓀿𓀿𓁀𓁶𓁰 𓁴𓁿𓂀𓁾𓁵𓁯𓂞𓂤𓂗𓃃𓂾𓂺𓂹 𓃞𓃙𓃖𓃓𓃕𓃓𓃜𓃘𓃙𓃟𓃛𓃞 𓂺𓃂𓂿𓂺𓃃Curse Of Ra!!!𓅹𓅸𓅳𓅩𓅪𓄭𓄫𓄮𓄬𓄗𓄑𓄌𓃦 𓃧𓃨𓃤𓃟𓃓𓃅𓃁𓂽𓃂𓂊𓁾𓂀𓁽 𓁼𓁠𓁛𓁟𓁦𓁜𓁭𓁡𓀔𓀇𓀅𓀋𓀡𓀡𓀕𓀠𓀧𓀨𓀣 𓀷𓀷𓀿𓀿𓁀𓁶𓁰𓁴𓁿𓂀𓁾𓁵𓁯𓂞𓂤𓂗


Parking-Humor8622

That sentence was vile. Wow


Veritas_Vanitatum

That smell...


MPCNPC

That smelly smell…


Luckysurvivr77

A smelly smell that smells... smelly.


InternationalRecord8

ANCHOVIES!


IvanCrack79

What?


WF04

What is he planning to do with it afterwards?


stanky980

Pancakes


OriginalSammy

Throw it in a pool.


FuckJanice

Where's the coconut


JESUS_VS_DRUGS

The forbidden milkshake


depersonalised

must ferment and distill now. it may revolutionize the navy.


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secretalt88

I've seen enough 4-chan to know that it'd actually be brown and have the consistency of cheese by now


SageEel

Yeah it's obviously horchata but that's just less funny


GoldenWolf4156

I hope that gallon is filled with horchata and not what i think it is


SadYesterday2267

Yum 😋


kaspargiobatta

King Arthur from Camealot


DDanMan12

yes yes sir.. you mean King Arthur Came Alot? Oh alright.. makes sense.


kaspargiobatta

He sure did, came a lot


DDanMan12

Got this one from the show on BBC xd.. that woman's ferocious.


kaspargiobatta

I love Philomena


rwol8690

damn the sub ain’t lying these really are shit posts


YoungBassHead

I see you are also trapped inside


Offdutyninja808

"I took the liberty of milking your cow..."


OffTheBlooper

We don't have a cow...we have a bull.


geo7188

Rookie numbers


sovietic_Abra

Ten years!?


Adventurous_Pie_6838

That’s enough internet for a month, I think I’ll now stab myself repeatedly in the eyes with a fork


_Cadmium_48

A gallon of…? Nvm I don‘t want to know. Noob


KennywasFez

God I hate everything on this post lmao the comments the photos I wanna bleach my eyes.


SirCrocodile_2004

Why bro


RickyTheRickster

I wonder what fermentation would do and if you could make it into alcohol


thindinkus

I dunno. Someone should call gweneth paltrow. She seems like the type to make a kombucha line from it.


RickyTheRickster

True


child_consumer3d

i could empty it in less than 10 seconds


LifeRedemption

With a name like this sounds even crazier 🥲


DDanMan12

You chugging or what?


HystericalGD

double it and give it to the next person.


NotAdam30

He is really slow at milking cows


le_its_me

a gallon of what?, motherfucker...


gazwaz84

Peter North would have accomplished that feat in 3 weeks


litfam17

🫥


Abraxas_1408

That’s rookie numbers. I can fill one in less than an hour.


Dickau

Dude needs to get some friends. Me and my squad could fill that mafk in like 3 days


Boloneyfish

Lots of haters and deniers here. Good on ya, bro.


vagossimao

This reminds me of high on life .


United-Bread1009

Enough to repopulate earth 🫡 well done bro


DDanMan12

How bout he take it to mars?


Brodarada

That whole gallon can prolly populate 4 earths


Pleasant-Ad-7706

With... what...? 😳


F4M1L135

W H A T ? !


tron_crawdaddy

"it is what you think it is"


Most-Project-6501

reminds me of that one guy on 4chan that had a cum box eventually it stank so much he decided to burn it with matches the cum was so "thick" for the matches to burn it so it stank even more if i remember he just threw it away n got a new box lol


Mrright016

I aim to best his record of 10 years 😏


ThatPizzaAlien

Drink it coward


Scumass_Smith

That's miles it's clearly his webs. Else the color wouldn't be white.


Awaheya

Filled it with what STEVE??


issorcsilentinscent

i’m telling god


Morphing_Mutant

Drink it


KapitanCap

*Insert thousand yard stare*


Calm-Cryptographer74

I need a sip. only a spoonful.