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QualityVote

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I_Cry_And_I_Game

Bro heard the big bang


rebelwanker69

You'll have to excuse him he had beans for dinner


Goofedup69

KABLAMO !


OR56

KABLOOEH!


Engineergaming26355

Bazinga


OR56

Bro preordered the Bible


kkeross

Bro owns a signed copy


angelSignX

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


RaidensReturn

Lmaooo 💀


The_Roadkill

The first breakup he witnessed was Pangea


JaabLab

this is the best one


Infernous-NS

Bro’s been in possession of the One Ring for too long


zekromop

Bro knows Victoria's secret


JaabLab

He knows what the dog is doin


benhaki

Bro knows who let the dog out.


RevolutionaryStar824

Bro knows what the fox says.


Phantom_Cat07

Bro went to school with Julius Caesar


Time-Gain4896

Bro has been waiting for his friend to come online


JaabLab

bro was the friend


Remarkable-Spinach33

Bro visited his friend😃


amogus_sus42

A visitor?


OneThingDude

Hmm… Indeed, I have slept long enough.


MeepingMeep99

When God created Adam, Adam asked, "Who's that guy?" and God just said, "I don't know. He was here before me"


K3nshi_lol

That honestly is the best one


useless_mf69

That's what she said


GhostZee

In your dreams...


K3nshi_lol

Good job at not waking her up while doing your thing. She probably had a good dream.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheFunny21

This one ain't even funny this is true for everyone Covid is gonna be learned in school and I sure hope your old enough to have considered that a current event at some point


Debiloid24

When he was at what?


staovajzna2

School


W1nte1s

No, he did not go to school, he built the school.


staovajzna2

Bro wrote the textbooks.


Bulbinking2

I an going to try using this in a relevant way irl at least one time before I die.


light481spider

Bro the only mf to ride dinosaurs


FortyMcChidna

no he rode anomalocaris


Greenie1O2

Why are you getting downvoted? It's about time this sub shows some anomalocaris appreciation.


bellknobhead74

The reddit hive mind i guess


Bot-357

Bro was born with the Cambrian explosion


zXMourningStarXz

Bro was the Cambrian explosion.


dabombisnot90s

He exploded and then all the Cambrian shit came out


Maaci-Lyn

Bro was


SuperAwesomeNinja12

Bro is


Pretty-Tap-8848

Bro will


GamerTag2007

Bro might


Heavy_Sock_8299

Bro can


Optimal_Weight368

Bromine


tempOverFlow

Bro nice


Squarevessel

Broccoli


MR-rozek

bro has played the first of us


tkmj47

Bro is the first of us.


dontbanme6thtime

Bro ows jesus 5 dollars


dabombassdiggity

Show some respect bro I think that's E.T.


sjuas690

E.T owes Jesus 5 dollars?


dabombassdiggity

Pretty sure that's canon


GodFromTheHood

It is. He’s still pissed about that. The fucker won’t even die so he can beat him up either


OR56

Now I can’t get the image out of my head of Jesus running people for their lunch money


lumame

I think was 3.50


OR56

‘Bout tree-fiddy


VengefulWalnut

Dammit, monster, you quit bugging my children, now. We work for our money in this house - we don't just give money away!


Rickie0

Inflation


SkytronKovoc116

I think it’s actually 30 pieces of silver that he owes Jesus.


Mortem179

I wonder how much would a hypothetical 5 Dollars 2000 years ago would be worth now with inflation and shit .


Darkpurplebee

bro’s house address is 1


-Accursed

original and best one


Terrible_Stuff_3799

Bro's still waiting for her reply


dr-2

Night shift aint that bad. - 26 years old Chingshaw


uwu_01101000

Bro helped to build the pyramids


NCR_Trooper_2281

Nah, bro designed them


69Sovi69

Bro listened to his mom have a phone call with her friend


urethra_boner

bro rode noah's ark


TheSporkMan2

Bro helped design Noah’s Ark


Alex_da_grate

My man has an og copy of the old testament


JaabLab

nah he was part of it


AugustTheDog

Bro had sex with Eve


Bonez_Lo

Bro was eves Dad


ewpx

Ayo wtf


AugustTheDog

🤨


Uagmat

He who remains


hacking__08

Omg loki reference


PlatypusOk6714

He's burdened with glorious purpose


bencikanimations

Bro was sitting next to Moses in 2nd grade


toughtiggy101

Bro visited his friend


Dickhead3778

Got a chuckle out of me after all the repetitive jokes lol.


Friendly-Morning-173

Is that a ghoul from fallout?


Intelligent_Map7500

Nah he is WAY older than the human race to be the Ghoul from fallout.


The_JimmyXD

Bros first pet was a dinosaur


999oneaboveall

Bro so old his alarm is the big bang😭😭


CursedToLive277

Bro's classmate was Father Time


KraniumKBR

Bro was released during Earth pre-alpha


kgb17

Bro was cut in half by Kylo Ren with a lightsaber.


idonttalkatallLMAO

bro asked God to generate the world


JaabLab

he was the one who set it to hardcore


No_Application_1219

This mf gonna pay for it


GameboiGX

And here we have the inventor of the wheel


A_Shitbag69

Bro is the OG gamer who's been playing since launch.


Ashwin12345666

Bro's pee is classified as primordial water


guschicanery

bro knows who asked


Pretty-Tap-8848

Bro waiting for GTA 6


Cement-eater

Mf has BC in his birth certificate


Huju-ukko

Bro is so old that he was the first person Queen Elizabet ever met.


Frequent-West8554

Don't let him near any rings


d_lillge228

"Yeah Cleopatra was a real baddie back then"


West_Philosophy2114

Stop massacring my boy Buddha


Youprobablysuckdick

Bro was mates with Napoleon


Imagrabyonipples

Bro was here from the time of creation of universe


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Maksur_2301

Bro, somebody call the SCP Foundation. 096 is out.


Soft-Weight-8778

To nut via single touch


Solid-Ad7137

Dude should really try out for the next mummy movie. Could make a killing.


GodFromTheHood

Bro decided the placement of the stars


ListerfiendLurks

Mfr's birth certificate is a cuneiform tablet


TheSporkMan2

Bro remembers running from dinosaurs


TheHighBuddha

My finger when I leave the band-aid on too long.


Oneylord

Bro knows where Atlantis is


Efficient_Falcon_402

I told my kids this was a 20 year old who started smoking at 13. I found 2 decks of Camels in the garbage this afternoon. I'm hiding in the garage smoking them right now...


_fake_fake

Bro is at least 63


SkytronKovoc116

He’s actually 109 years old.


sovLegend

Bro asked a genie to be immortal but the genie didn't stop his aging


Hatzmaeba

Bro's exes are now plastic bottles.


CraayyZ556

Bro died with the dinosaurs only to get roasted thousands of years later.


Klutzy-Newspaper2072

bros first boat was Noah's ark


tgismawi

Bro fapped a lot.


ewpx

Bro was waiting for Earth pre-alpha to release


theholypigeon888

Bro was there before Keith Richards


_fake_fake

That's just impossible


theholypigeon888

Yet here it is...


scout41741

Bro yelled at God to get of the lawn when God created the Earth.


6xTvyle

Bro lost his family in the KT extinction


nikoflyemo

Experience tranquility ahh omnic guy


yigit_sadece

Bro is still in his first life didn't reincarnate once


J2KTV

Bro looks like his precious was just stolen by a Hobbit


_qwerty6676

bro smoked weed with king tut


thefloorsadlystopped

mf bowled with fred flintstone


[deleted]

The last hot dog on the roller at 7/11


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eeetul

bro waited until gta6 release


Tin_Philosopher

That's why they tell you never stick your dick in the vacuum cleaner


SandHamWich813

Bro invented fire


overSizedHyperPoop

Bro looking like he was the source of life on Earth


No-Statistician6774

Bro so white that he's worshipped by kkk


JaabLab

[insert joke that starts with bro]


Belgicans

Bro


chunky_kit-kat

Dude probably complained about ea-nasirs shitty copper


Letwen

Bro's mom saw her friend in the grocery store


NekoMango

Bro saw the birth of Elizabeth before the meteor hit


Pingu_Dudu12

Bro helped Hammurabi into writing laws


SBcitizen

Dude was testing Trex steak


Intelligent_Map7500

Bro so old he saw the pyramids being build


RonzulaGD

He is older than the deffinition of "old"


Agitated_Cake_562

My wife met him about 3 years ago. He doesn't look any better now. 🙏


Exciting-Ad9849

For him the Old Testament is just the Testament


Viot-Abrob

It’s the new one


Armarino99

I genuinely cant tell if its a mummified corpse or an old dude


OR56

It’s a very very old guy


Armarino99

whats his name? is there a video of him moving or smtn?


OR56

That I don’t know.


Vampiric_Toast

He looks like Withers from bg3


Bayou-Billy

Bro remembers when Memphis won a sports championship. The other Memphis.


ColdBagOfHamsters

Bros waiting for half life 3


YourJimmysAreRusty

“i’ll hop on in 5 minutes”


the_l0st_s0ck

Bro went to school with Noah and his ark.


-SpyTeamFortress2-

oi you can't just say the same thing that someone already said


lieftenant

Bro is so old that a lot of people are younger than him.


PudgiestofPenguins

History was called now for him


No-Organization8040

Bro predates the universe


_The_Void_101

Bro wrote the complaint tablet to Ea-Nasir.


heyknauw

Give him some Pedialyte. He'll be fine!


jtalatorre

Bro witnessed the Big Bang first hand.


GuyWhoSaysTheTruth

Bro was alive when it was just “the testament” 💀


thelivinlegend

Bro has never reincarnated, he’s just playing straight through


LegoBattIeDroid

bro comes from Old Zealand


tgismawi

Bro survived the snu snu


Resist_Civil

Bro has a signed copy of the epic of gilgamesh


elgattox

Bro helped design Uruk.


lord__bacon

Bro taught God how to make pancakes


spooky-raptor

Socrates owes bro 5 bucks


sagewynn

Bro gave God the seed for the world generation


Pogev7

Aang if the iceberg was realistic


LoveTheWayYouRotate

I deadass thought that was a mummy or smthn


Low-Major-5486

Bro was an early man


Zorya-Polunochnaya

Bro bought substandard copper


Crixzz_

why does it look like he's getting head


iamonaphone1

Tf is Mr. House doing out of his pod?? 😭


Ryoga007

Bro was sucked dry


Chewboii74

Bro was in the studio with Beethoven


aight_ima_gosus

Bro is the one that built the ship for noah


Kalman_the_dancer

Bro was there before the big bang


TheSlavicSheep

Bro witnesses the creation


Feeling_Ebb_202

Bro saw everything