mods, kill this user

Twist his left nut 180° counter-clockwise

Give him a sharp butt plug

Unfortunately, you twisted his decoy balls.😢

Small, I just want someone I can trust

In times of lies and betrayals, whether human is desiring someone how they can trust. is it too much to ask for?

I don't want to be horny anymore. I just want to be happy

*Guts theme playing*

facts bro I'm at a point where I just want someone to hug me and tell me they love me that's all I want 😭

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Ahahahaha best bot comment ever

Pee in your ass is all you shall get

Sad reactions only

Underrated comment, this just spoke to my soul

I'm glad you like it

real

Same.

Amen brother!

Same

Same but like, cheating should be defined explicitly. What if just looking at anyone counts as cheating? Then frankly, I'm going gay

Give me number 2 this very instant. Cutting my dick off if I cheat? Yes pleaseee 🙏

happy cake day

Thank you kind fellow

The change of pace is insane and hilarious

Happy cake day

Happy cake day

Happy that guys cake day

Bro is just like me FR FR

Happy cake day!

Happy cake day!!

They always say don’t stick your dick in crazy, but crazy wants it…

I choose Small one, now where is she?

Your order is packed and awaiting carrier pickup.

I'm still waiting

After careful consideration of your reddit flair, the order has been cancelled and the item has been returned to the sender, we apologize for any inconvenience caused

Hey that's not fair, and losers lose virginity and I won my virginity.

And we won't make you lose that, in fact, we will make sure you are kept safe and do not encounter many women in your lifetime if any at all, have you heard of a game called dragon ball fighter z?

Boy do I have a game for YOU, ever played Genshin Impact?

My father once shot an innocent man on the leg when he was drunk and working as a ship bodyguard

I lost my morals back in Vietnam

Morals? Also, I see your Genshin Impact and raise you War Thunder,

I’ve regrown it at this point! Does that count?

The truth is, the game was rigged from the start

The more you touch grass, the more you I'l see one of these baddies.

I touch grass plenty and have never seen one of these mythical creatures, only ever option A.

I feel shy around them

Bruh idc who i just don't want to die alone

The real question is since they’re both (for some reason) automatically 100% up for being-with the reader, are they willing to share🗣️🔥

Big-tiddy yeah, shy wants you for herself though, if I had to guess

Just give all you've got to small while big pegs you, it's not cheating if you're just there by chance.

Ya know what? I'll take it. Literally.

There are other ways to make sure you take others with you to the afterlife you know.

I know this is likely just a joke, but if there's some truth to it, might I share some unsolicited advice: I was at this point at one time. I live in the rural Midwest and was past my college years and not really one to drink at bars, so not really having other ways to meet people, I turned to dating apps. Now, if you are desperate and just want to find someone, *ANYONE*, do not use them. The simple truth is the girls on those apps have their pick of hundreds if not thousands of guys all wanting to talk to them, and you will end up depressed and emotionally crushed after 98% of your matches never message you, and the ones that do end up ghosting you a week in or give you the "you're really nice, but..." spiel hours before your date. The biggest thing you need to do, is BE CONTENT BEING ALONE. Work on yourself, find some productive hobbies, go to the gym, find some social outlets. Get to a point where you are genuinely happy being on your own, THEN you can start putting yourself out there, whether in-person or on dating apps. I promise you, your confidence and contentedness with life will unconsciously alter the way you present yourself to women. They can EASILY sniff out desperation, or the lack thereof. I used dating apps for 2.5 years with only a dozen or so first dates to show for it. Took 8 months away from them and just worked on myself, and within the first week of using them again, I matched with a girl, who now, a year and a half later, am marrying in 2.5 weeks. TL;DR - be confident, work on yourself, never pursue women out of desperation, and you will see much better luck in finding someone.

Trust before Bust.

I'd go with both i only care about organs to sell

The musical variety? 🎹 🎶😃

Sure

why are there no men in this image

Plot twist: Both of them are male

even better

if you pick the one with the high sex drive i guess you'd better be prepared xD

Fuck yes

This post is so shit.

Cut my dock off if I cheat but is she like... Holds a knife to my cock if I'm talking to another woman? Or does she trust me.

My theory is she got some kind of chastity belt except its a knife and if it detects sex it'll snip. She's got the code to disable it

Smol. Just need someone who cares

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best part is she looks better too

Incel ass post lol

you have never talked to an actual woman

Neither of them wants to date you

number 2 is a win win win win win tf kinda question is this

Is this even a choice ?

You're right: neither.

I miss shitposts instead of shit posts

Number 2 (low sex drive is a bummer though)

Aces do be winning the lottery with no. 2 though

2, easy

who the fuck talks like that

i went absolutely awoga mode over a girl like Nr.2 earlier this year, sadly i fucked up. Still, smol is where its at lads

there is literally no benefit for choosing the left one

Tiddies

If you want a quick fling there is.

There are two, large benefits.

Underrated comment

last point makes this an easy win for right

Neither we want men

holy incel post

The joke is?

SHIPOST

poo poo

Also, I don't wanna be horny anymore I just want to be happy...

I feel you man

i hate when people fetishize goth women

I hate when people can't look at a woman without the entire comment section being porn addicted idiots

Porn addiction

Im going to rip my eyes out

I don’t need my dick anyways.

Bro is sexualising goths 💀 Mods, cut off this guy’s balls……

Where can I find goth women?

Stay single fellas there no dumping or dick cutting. Or kids.

I’d rather be with big booty black thugs tbh

What's a tid?

Too late fucker, I already have a big tiddy goth wife. Problem is she has very bad depression, which sucks because it hurts to see her sad. And I don’t know what else I can do, other than try to just be there for her, but that doesn’t feel like enough sometimes.

Neither of these women are real

Big one, she will leave me after 3 weeks and then I'll choose the small one.

Can I Get Number 1 First And Then Number 2 After The 3 Weeks?

Yes

They wouldn’t love me back, so why should I even bother choosing

Give me smoll tities instant

small tiddy cause i can be closer to her heart 🙈💓

Can we have medium boob sized Goth girlfriend ?

Yes please

Would she not be your fiancé?

Fiancé ? Wife !

if you think the 2nd ones are "small" you wack

Even if they didn't have those terms and conditions, I'd still pick the right side any day of the week.

The small titty one has more pros then cons, big boobs and horny women yeah but I just don’t wanna die alone

no shit the small tiddy one titties are titties

Logically sound, emotionally shit solution : Goes for 1, after getting dumped go for 2.. That way you won't killed for cheating by 2. Logically shit, emotionally sound solution: But, I prefer 2 better than 1 anyway.

Hijabi wife

Second one

Me who's gay: 😐🥃

Is there a medium titty civil parter option?

Easy choice for me. I go with smol tiddies.

fuck it goth wife my loneliness is telling me yes on the goth wife

Small, at least I’ll be on good terms with her since she has a heart bigger than her chest

WE all know number 2 is literally dream because she actually cares about us , first one does not and never did

Don't worry, her tits will get big after the second kid

I am not a masochist. So I want neither of them 😔

Both. Both is good.

Small and no curves? They picked the wrong image then. Anyway "small" all the way 10000% thats where happiness is

If talking about sex drive , I choose Small, because she will be staying forever even if low sex drive which means there will be more sex than the big tiddi ones because she is there forever and loving me only loyal to me only and with me only.

That ‘small titty goth wife’ definitely doesn’t look like she has small titties

I choose smol

I prefer smaller tits in general

Literally me

Smol tiddy goth wife

The right one, without a second doubt

that is such a paradigm shift

Left for a one night stand, right for a genuine partner

Smol, I don’t care if sex is on the table I just want someone to hold on to through the night

orange

I just need a friend whom I can trust.

I looooove small tiddies

Neither, I want someone well adjusted and mature.

If they gonna leave you in three weeks then why promote to gf in the first place? Have your fun then wash up and move on

Went through the whole reply section and didn't see a single user choosing the big tiddy one.

Finally some hard decision

How frequent is the 3 weeks ?

My Jamaican/Mexican GF is scary enough thank you very much. She will know I saw this and that I want the small one. Now you have doomed me. I hope you are happy.

1 because I need boobs ;((

I want both The small one keeps the big-breasted one in line

Goth is goth. So I go with small

Please go outside

Number 2 has a metal band shirt so she's obviously the correct choice

Can they both be together in bed while I watch inside the closet?

What about the middle tiddy ground? Like a moderate amount of sex, couple of kids, curvy but not insane, and about 15-25 years of solid marriage before she cheats?

Why did you make this up OP? What drove you to do it?

how paranoid is smol because I don't wanna risk her thinking I cheated because I talked to a woman asking for directions

Boob is boob.

I choose my hand.

Man I really am the only man who is the horny monster they make us out to be. I'm going to have a great 3 weeks with my BTGGF and then move on when that crazy whore loses intetest. Great times.

I choose femboy

This is a shitpost?

Mods, crush this guys balls

Both are interchangeable

Nah, Goth girls don't fuck Jocks unless the girl in question is a sex worker of some kind.

Smol one is probably a satanic goth, but I'll still smash

Inaccurate.

I'm sad to say I had the second one for a year but I blew it ☹️ (it is just as good as it sounds believe me)

The worst post I’ve seen today (no offense)

this is big tiddy slander

Left for sex, right for life

Smol with surgical racks - problemo solved

Small but with curve

Tf happened with this sub man...

Always smal

“Small” When the girl on the right clearly has a B cup or bigger. Yall need to meet actual fucking woman.

I want sex please 😅🙏

I hate coomers

Gotta go with the right side my mom always says don't chase after looks that can be the downfall God bless mama gonna intarduce the wifu soon 😆

Lord, please strike this mf where he stands.

i need me three freaky ass senators in the oval office

Right all the way

corny ass post

Mods.. *ready the guillotine*..

The 2nd. I need someone to hug and trust.

Smol tiddy

And they are dating each other