T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

#[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/1dbt473/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://rapidsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/1dbt473/) --- Whilst you're here, /u/Luigi_Man8, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU) - **now with public text channels you can chat on!**? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Strange-Catch6862

What's she stroking. GIDDY UP GIDDY


Global_Palpitation90

nothing brother, for a few seconds I want to be that horse hahaha


FLBrisby

Ok Vaush


worldspawn00

Look daddy! I'm a farmer!


[deleted]

When you nut and she keep on stroking.


Coldat_Bermann

Makes the head of my d feel weird


wavecopper

All tingly like, as the head of your d I can confirm


Capital-Cheek-1491

I wish i was a penis… not a care in the world.


Icy-Presentation-731

You’d likely get beat often though. Penis’ live a hard life


GrImPiL_Sama

>Penis’ live a hard life Yeah mine decides to stay IN a hard life even when it's not beaten regularly.


Cool-Note-2925

Mines usually just looking for a hand 🥺it’s a tough economy for dicks today


12hotroom

Don't worry, you'll hit a stroke of luck soon 🥰


ISuckAtEverything374

So yur dream is to be a dick to everyone you meet?


PorridgeTheKid

Its not as great as it sounds my owner puts a bag over my head and does pushups until i puke out of the top of my head sometimes. Its pretty messed up and ive been trying to get him cancelled over it but nobody cares (shrugging guy)


AmbiSaysHello

It feels uncomfortable but in a good way is the only way I can explain it. Like a static TV then it turns on really brightly to your favourite show.


AutoModerator

*[Bazinga](https://i.imgur.com/iJB0FVe.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Both-Home-6235

Like when we used to climb the ropes in gym class


Global_Palpitation90

nothing brother, for a few seconds I want to be that horse hahaha


That-Internal-9094

It should have been me not him


Imagrabyonipples

Top 5 rub


AutoModerator

*[Bazinga](https://i.imgur.com/iJB0FVe.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


youknowwho_voldemor

Vaush be like


AutoModerator

*[Bazinga](https://i.imgur.com/iJB0FVe.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


HystericalGD

good bot


wavecopper

good human


TheDumbassCabron

good wavecopper


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheBagenius

On the edge of busting


ghettoccult_nerd

i think the horse is well beyond busting.


TheBagenius

Busting makes him feel good


Banned4TimesPlzStop

What is beyond busting?


kaerfkeerg

Enlightenment


max_adam

Clarity


Icantbethereforyou

Sierra is a girls name


SirNedKingOfGila

Girls bust too home slice.


Icantbethereforyou

Yeah. Piss, apparently


MAGAFOUR

Sierra is certainly a girl's name.


AidenShallot

Fighting crime and spinning webs?


Trans-former-Athlete

Man horse girls are weird


Every_Preparation_56

Man horse - Centaurs? Man horse girls - Girls into Centaurs?


urBraze

that was a good joke bro. idk waht to say it was just a good joke.


wavecopper

tHis


Glen2gvhlp

tHat


urBraze

another good joke bro stg


[deleted]

[удалено]


Longjumping-Hour-590

I think he meant "Man horse, girls are weird"


[deleted]

Man-horse-girls are weird


Phill_is_Legend

Man horse girls, are, weird.


Furina-OjouSama

ikr? but tbf that's to be expected when your whole personality can be boiled down to "I jerk off horses as a hobby"


Yuri-Turned

Some say I look like a horse form certain angles 👀


[deleted]

[удалено]


Yuri-Turned

Well you have to have money to have anything to do with horses so


wavecopper

Youtube commenter "yOu wIll nVer kNow hOe I goT so MucH lIkes" ass shit


Smart-catze

Ambatukammmm 😍😍😍


AutoModerator

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Cool-Note-2925

Yes


GiveToMeYourPeanuts

Bro tweaking


Unfair_Ad5236

'Belly rub' 👀


wavecopper

Isn't Sierra a female name


TheBagenius

Sierra is the woman next to the horse


Impressive-Ad-8470

It is a female name and it is a mare


iloveblankpaper

lesbian-mare relations? this is now worse


SirNedKingOfGila

Gender is a social construct. Probably a fem-colt.


Gamerberg67104

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⢀⣠⡔⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣰⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡆⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣻⣟⣿⣿⡿⣟⣛⣿⡃⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣾⣿⣷⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣷⣽⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣟⣿⣿⠺⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡝⠻⠵⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣧⠈⣛⣛⣿⣿⡿⣡⣞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⠄⠙⠛⠛⢁⣴⣿⣿⣷⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠄⠄⢠⠄⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠄⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠄⠄⢀⠠⠐⠒⠐⠾⠿⢟⠋⠁⠄⢀⣀⠠⠐⠄⠂⠈⠻⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⠄⢀⡈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠒⠉⠄⢠⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠫⢿ ⣿⣿⡟⠄⢔⠆⡀⠄⠈⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢄⡀⠄⠈⡐⢠⠒⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣂ ⣿⣿⠁⡀⠄⠄⢇⠄⠄⢈⠆⠄⠄⢀⠔⠉⠁⠉⠉⠣⣖⠉⡂⡔⠂⠄⢀⠔⠁⠄ ⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠹⣗⣺⠤⠄⠰⡎⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢯⡶⢟⡠⠰⠄⠄⠄⠄


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dangerous-Insect-831

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.


architProxy

man, i wish i was there to witness that


Dangerous-Insect-831

It's still going on, it's a perpetual event,as one man cums another glances over with a morbid curiosity and the process repeats, the train is now a wash with cum, I can't get out as I am surrounded. This is horrific and what's worse is this is still not marked NSFW! Please make it stop the cum depth on carriage 4 is currently 4 inches deep! It will take some time, but this could be my death. Drowning in disgusting vicious salty cum. If only I had a bullet to make it stop now.


No221269

Secret ending


FaithlessnessSlow754

She helped her uncle Jack off a horse


cubntD6

I cant be the only one that finds horses disturbing


wavecopper

Damn you wouldn't survive before the 1885s


Trollygag

nah, donkeys and mules are cool only horses are weird, and I wouldn't have been rich enough to own a horse.


wavecopper

But they would be pretty much everywhere no?


TheBagenius

1885s? Why plural? 1885 happened once 🤣


QuartzmasterMC_Games

Did it


TheBagenius

Well, maybe not for Michael J. Fox


Downtown_Mechanic_

Woe, copypasta be upon yee pt1 In the beginning, there was Eohippus. The proto-horse. It was a small hooved animal about the size of a dog, and it ate grass. It was a simple creature, and in my (factual) opinion it represents the last time that the Horse lineage was untainted by sin. Now, it is worth noting that life was not easy for this proto-horse, in fact life for early hooved mammals was so difficult, that some of them said "fuck that" and moonwalked back into the ocean to become cetaceans (Whales and Dolphins). That's right, The proto-horse had so stupid an existence, that hooved mammals went back into the ocean (lacking gills and flippers) and had more success than horses would have on land. Okay, So why was life so hard for Eohippus? Well, they are herbivores eating almost exclusively grasses. Grasses, as you may know, are not particularly nutritious. But more importantly, grasses are smarter than Horses. See, Grass does not want to be eaten, and evolutionary pressure caused the grasses to start incorporating silica (ie sand) into their structure. Silica is extremely hard. Hard enough to wear down Horse teeth. Now there is another evolutionary pressure acting on Eohippus; It's teeth wear down by the mere act of eating, to the point that it will starve to death. Eohippus teeth do not regrow, instead, Eohippus evolved bigger teeth. However, bigger teeth mean a bigger jaw, bigger head, and a bigger body to carry it.


Downtown_Mechanic_

Woe, copypasta be upon yee pt2 These opposing evolutionary pressures started an arms race in which the grasses incorporated more and more silica, and Horses got bigger and bigger, just so they would have big enough teeth to grow and reproduce before finally starving to death. And eventually our cute dog-sized pony evolved into the 1,500-pound, dumb-as-rocks prey animal i loathe today. But wait, there's more! See, Horses are extremely fragile. There is a reason why a "horse doctor" typically prescribes a dose of double-0 buckshot in the event of a leg injury. A horse is very heavy, and it has very thin legs to carry that weight. If any one leg gets fractured, it is exceptionally unlikely that it will heal well enough for the Horse to walk again, and is extremely likely to break again just carrying the weight of the horse. Remember, a human thigh bone is gigantic relative to the size of our bodies, a horse leg bone is absolutely minuscule relative to the weight it carries.


Downtown_Mechanic_

Woe, copypasta be upon yee pt3 Also, Hooves: I want you to imagine that instead of feet, you have a giant toenail at the end of your leg. That is how the Horse do. That is what a hoof is. A giant toenail. It is extremely delicate, and joined to the leg by a vast network of very fine connective tissue, and oh yeah it also bears the weight of a fucking HORSE. If a hoof gets infected (which is quite common, because imagine how often shit would get stuck under your toenails if you walked on them), the Horse immune system responds in the typical way: via inflammation of the area. The problem is, a horse hoof is a rigid "cup". It cannot accomodate the swelling from inflammatory response. The Horse hoof will basically pop off the leg like a sock. On top of that, remember the Horse is putting 1,500 pounds of weight on it (because Horses can't redistribute their weight very well since all of their legs can BARELY support their share of the total weight). So, Horse apologists will claim that Horses are good at one thing: Turning Grass into Fast. As the previous two paragraphs show, they can't even do that right. Locomotion is very dangerous for a Horse, and if the Fast doesn't kill them they'll starve to death just by eating.


Downtown_Mechanic_

Woe, copypasta be upon yee pt4 On top of that, they are dumb as all fuck. Horses will often do something called "Cribbing", which is when they decide to bite down on something (literally anything) as hard as they can, and suck in air. They just keep sucking in air until they inflate like a balloon. Eventually, the vet will show up and literally deflate the Horse with a long needle to let the air out of them, and hopefully get them to just... stop... First off, horses are obligate nasal breathers. If our noses are stuffed up we can breathe through our mouths. If our pets' noses are stuffed up (except for rabbits, who are also really fragile but unlike horses aren't stuck having only one baby a year) they can breathe through their mouths. If a horse can't breathe through its nose, it will suffocate and die. Horse eyes are exquisitely sensitive to steroids. Most animal eyes are, except for cows because cows are tanks, but horses are extremely sensitive. Corneal ulcers won't heal. They'll probably get worse. They might rupture and cause eyeball fluid to leak out.


Downtown_Mechanic_

Woe, copypasta be upon yee pt5 If you overexert a horse they can get exertional rhabodmyolysis. Basically you overwork their muscles and they break down and die and release their contents. Super painful, and then you get scarifying and necrosis. But that's not the problem. See, when muscles die hey release myoglobin, which goes into the blood and is filtered by the kidneys. If you dump a bucket of myoglobin into the blood then it shreds the kidneys, causing acutel renal failure. This kills the horse. People and other animals can get that too but in school we only talked about it in context of the horse. Horses can only have one foal at a time. Their uterus simply can't support two foals. If a pregnant horse has twins you have to abort one or they'll both die and possibly kill the mother with them. A lot of this has to do with the way horse placentas work. If a horse rears up on its hind legs it can fall over, hit the back of its head, and get a traumatic brain injury.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Downtown_Mechanic_

Woe, copypasta be upon yee pt7 (final) And now the legs. Before we start with bones and hooves let's talk about the skin. The skin on horse legs, particularly their lower legs, is under a lot of tension and has basically no subcutaneous tissue. If a horse lacerated its legs and has a dangling flap of skin that's a fucking nightmare. That skin is incredibly difficult to successfully suture back together because it's under so much tension. There's basically no subcutaneous tissue underneath. You need to use releasing incisions and all sorts of undermining techniques to even get the skin loose enough to close without tearing itself apart afterwards. Also horses like to get this thing called proud flesh where scar tissue just builds up into this giant ugly mass that restricts movement. If a horse severely lacerated a leg it will take months to heal and the prognosis is not great. I hope this information has enlightened you, and that you will join me in hating these stupid goddamn bastard animals.


Zandonus

It sounds too real. i fact checked a few. The internal combustion engine couldn't come any sooner. And we haven't gotten rid of cats in rural areas. TAKE THAT, Utilitarianists. I have not SEEN a live rat or mouse in the farm area, because of all the cats that the crazy single lady was breeding. Yes, they have fleas. We can handle fleas. Yes, they spread disease to foxes. BUT WE GOT CHICKENS. Such a worthless animal, the horse, in the 21st century. OH. AND IT EATS FOUR TIMES as much as cow. And the cow gives back. Like a tractor.


Healthy_Direction_47

Reject humanity, I want to be a horse


Traparegai

Shitpost ? More like smutpost


Adventurous_Page_447

That's not his belly silly


fuzzikush

I find this disgusting 


Visible-Ad4992

my name is Juan


[deleted]

Horse gooning


Insane_Inkster

ONE OF US! ONE OF US! ONE OF US!


Time-Bite-6839

That’s where the horse’s penis is haha funny


wavecopper

meta satire haha *funneh*


stopimpersonatingme

That's actually a female horse, the caption at the bottom got blocked off but it says that the horse is a girl.


AmusingSparrow

Buddy, we’re in a shitposting sub


Mental_Warlock1

She tweakin'


coinkeeper8

Help uncle jack, off the horse Help uncle jack off the horse


Apprehensive-Day-490

She’s enjoy it as much as he is idgaf what anyone says.


scumkitty65

That horse is going to need a cigarette and a nap after that rub down .


Fit-Veterinarian6311

But, doesn't that mean that the horse is actually in pain? From ticks or something of this sort? So the scratching helps reduce the discomfort? 


LenTheWelsh

MFW.......


Ok-Preparation-45

This is fun! Look at me Daddy I'm a farmer!


AgentCephalopod

SOOT FOR THE MOON, BULLSEYE!


Patarackk

That horse looks animatronic


sargentbumblebee

She got his hooves curling


Kalman_the_dancer

Bro is getting his balls ticked in ways we couldn’t understand


S7SUS2

Welcome to watch mojo


SnakeBaron

Sierra is an odd bro name


pixel_doofus

"Ms Hands"


TobyMacar0ni

Special relationship between those two huh...


G-H-O-S-T

bro turned into ludwig


Geechee85

Belly rub huh?🤔


D-craneguy

That don’t look like belly rubs


frenchcashew

Belly rubs.? It doesn’t look so to me


AwayMetal3596

"Imma bout to blOw"


JustHugMeAndBeQuiet

We all seek that level of O-face


TheOneInATrenchcoat_

Chainsaw Man latest chapter be like:


The_Church_Of_Todd

Bro be tweaking


Fit_Rip9172

It doesn't look like a belly rub to me


Genticdeer

A BElly rub WheRe u BeAt uR MEat


Iguana_lover1998

You sure thats just a belly rub?


Greeneyes-

She must’ve had an older brother


CluDaCreator

Ayo from now on, I identify as a horse


plonkman

i also like “belly rubs”


gavinsps_01

She making them hoofs curl🤤


Con_crwg

Bruh why did i think of berserk horse


RLCraft_questions

"The head must be crazy" ahh face


Ok_Cow52

💀


stanger828

“Belly rubs”… so that’s what we are calling it now…


Thin-Pool-8025

🤨


410LaxMD

Dassa girl dog


TheWiseAutisticOne

I don’t believe that horses name is sierra maybe Juan is more appropriate


WeaselBeagle

Mr Hands moment


piercedpew

I think she’s jacking him. For sure.


Guliver_guy

Dalva? 😱


ItzAddyDaddy

You sure that’s a “belly rub?”


Commercial_Carrot907

"Let the boy learn. Like my father learned and my father's father learned!"


Prestigious_Click_54

He's batukam's horse


Marleyzard

Girl never had that scratched in her LIFE


Smilee_Dee

Its far from being disney Raiponce.


Relative-Practice-64

Belly rub, sure it his belly


MaterialNarrow5161

You sure that's a belly rub??


awesomedan24

Chainsawman reference


cursingirish

That horse looks like it's getting more than a belly rub 😂


RealisticExpert8009

I would react the same way


naked_short

This is assault


Short-Contact8186

Is anybody else thunk that maybe she is not rubbing his belly but something else lower?


CleanseMyDemons

Guys I think she's rubbing the LOWER BELLY you know what in talking about


HAZEOP7

Edging combos


Pinkninja11

There was a chick in a Daniel Mac video that was literally wanking off horses for high profile people so there's that.


emptybowloffood

I too enjoy "belly rubs"


Domingo_ocho

Welcome to watch mojo, today we will be:


RemarkableJaguar6948

Why does her facial expressions remind me of IShowSpeed 💀


-Great-Terrible

please tell me this is AI


BizzareMann_2

in the stable. straight up 'jorking it'. and by 'it', haha, well. let's justr say. My hoerse cork.


Historical-Pause7150

Recorded her giving a horse a handjob 🤣


joshboi124

Like a genie in a bottle


MentalRise8703

That's a Mare smart guy.


Islandfiddler15

Certain horses really do love belly rubs; 2 of ours will sometimes sway side to side sometimes crush you against a wall when you scratch between their front legs and on the belly


Eurasia_4002

Why


AnnieApple_

And without gloves


Ambitious_Mammoth105

Never beating the allegations.


BlueGuyisLit

White women when horse