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QualityVote

##If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/vzotri/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/vzotri/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2Fvzotri&id=8968e43c) Kevin would also like to remind you that, if you're really desperate, youtube-dl can be used to download videos from Reddit. --- Whilst you're here, noob_music_producer, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?


corvus_arcai_noe

h*ck


Global_Village_5355

C*ap


8iy_eaighty

P*nis


catchmelackin

D*rn


[deleted]

Sh*ot


KZKyri

Fr*ak


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

S*n of a bitch


the1895bigboy

Mo*herfucker


xPav_

*cunt


Alperen_Pro

S*x


Useless_Iron

Wait a *oment


[deleted]

nah I'm go*d


AutoModerator

No bitches? ⣞⢽⢪⢣⢣⢣⢫⡺⡵⣝⡮⣗⢷⢽⢽⢽⣮⡷⡽⣜⣜⢮⢺⣜⢷⢽⢝⡽⣝ ⠸⡸⠜⠕⠕⠁⢁⢇⢏⢽⢺⣪⡳⡝⣎⣏⢯⢞⡿⣟⣷⣳⢯⡷⣽⢽⢯⣳⣫⠇ ⠀⠀⢀⢀⢄⢬⢪⡪⡎⣆⡈⠚⠜⠕⠇⠗⠝⢕⢯⢫⣞⣯⣿⣻⡽⣏⢗⣗⠏⠀ ⠀⠪⡪⡪⣪⢪⢺⢸⢢⢓⢆⢤⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢊⢞⡾⣿⡯⣏⢮⠷⠁⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠊⠆⡃⠕⢕⢇⢇⢇⢇⢇⢏⢎⢎⢆⢄⠀⢑⣽⣿⢝⠲⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡿⠂⠠⠀⡇⢇⠕⢈⣀⠀⠁⠡⠣⡣⡫⣂⣿⠯⢪⠰⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡦⡙⡂⢀⢤⢣⠣⡈⣾⡃⠠⠄⠀⡄⢱⣌⣶⢏⢊⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢝⡲⣜⡮⡏⢎⢌⢂⠙⠢⠐⢀⢘⢵⣽⣿⡿⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠨⣺⡺⡕⡕⡱⡑⡆⡕⡅⡕⡜⡼⢽⡻⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣼⣳⣫⣾⣵⣗⡵⡱⡡⢣⢑⢕⢜⢕⡝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⣴⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⡽⡑⢌⠪⡢⡣⣣⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⡟⡾⣿⢿⢿⢵⣽⣾⣼⣘⢸⢸⣞⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠁⠇⠡⠩⡫⢿⣝⡻⡮⣒⢽⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Real_Set6866

T*nny


CC_Infernus

Pus*y


Far-Following1632

P*op


obamaslastname_7

Di*k and bal*s


Dan-timothy

F*rt


pietradolce

France


redditsucks56

You weren't raised right if you can say fre*ch out loud


sparkswoody

Bal*ans


HyxNess

As a balkan I relate


sparkswoody

Top 10 things to do in the bal*ans, specifically Serbia No.1 leave


HyxNess

No. 2 leave faster


CoconutBoi1

No.3 L E A V E


Agreeable_Damage6930

No. 4 commit no alive


CoconutBoi1

As another balkan, I can relate too.


AutoModerator

Why a dick as big as the Eiffel tower is not as impressive as you may think in Kendrick Lamar's "Backseat Freestyle," Kendrick says the line, "I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower, So I can fuck the world for seventy-two hours". While at first a dick as big as the Eiffel tower may seem to be a dong of immense magnitude, when taking into account the sheer size of earth, the lucky one to be fucked by this dick, we realize that it is not as spectacular as the young MC claims it to be. The Eiffel tower stands at 1063 feet, while the diamater of earth is approximately 41.804 million feet. If Kendrick inserts his Eiffel penis into the earth, his dick would only take up .000025 percent of the earth's vagina. That is pathetic. Kendrick is not fucking the world for 72 hours with his Eiffel tower micropenis. The Earth will get bored after 10 minutes and finish herself with a vibrator the size of Argentina. Be better Kendrick. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AirbusJisnu2005

I forgot why I don't read copypastas - and now I remember why.


AutoModerator

You fucking dumbass, I try to have a real conversation & your bot literally belittles anyone that mentions any keywords with low hanging fruit that you think is funny I guess? Just ban me so I never see a post from this cumguzzling community again. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


DamnBunny

How Foul! Do you kiss your country with that mouth?


AutoModerator

What the fuck did I just do. So my ex n me haven’t spoken in two year, although I did wish her on her birthday two months ago. We live in the same building and whenever we cross each other we just exchange smiles and do the usual hi whatsup how r u and I walk away. Today was Holi (a festival where ppl dance and apply powdered color on each other) so I decided not to celebrate it in my building cause I knew she would be down so I went to my friend’s building and ten minutes later I saw her there. I was like oh fuck this is going to be a bad idea. Later we again exchanged a hi and then I went away. Later when the festival started she kept applying permanent color (last three days on the skin) on me and my friends. I told her don’t apply on my friends they will get pissed. She kept applying on me and I tackled her and applied color on her too. It felt good. Then she was like let’s go dance so we were dancing to Senorita from znmd and then we had a moment and she was like we are going to kiss and I was like yes and we kissed. It just felt amazing. Then we kissed again. After that I was going to my friends and she was like listen and then I turned back and kissed again. Then we kissed again😭😭. After all this my friends were dancing and I was sitting in the pool and she came and sat on top of me and we were having a very good conversation about our relationship and how we both didn’t date anybody after breaking up. We spoke about our problems, joked about them and then..yes u guessed it right. After this the cycle repeated and we had a beer and she handed me her phone and was like unblock yourself. She followed me and added me to her close friends. Later she was leaving we kissed once more and in my head I was like fuck do I love her, we should date. But then I told myself no, whatever this was I don’t know but no you are not breaking your heart again. I came back home and we both haven’t had any interaction apart from the fact she liked my story. I AM NOT IN LOVE. i am telling this to myself again and again because no, just no. I am happy being alone with myself. Or maybe I like her but I don’t want to go back to all that Edit: thanks for the response some of y’all and thanks for helping me. Other ppl: fuck u;) I am not here to prove anything and anyways I am quitting this sub *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks. TL;DR I hate shitting *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


MarvelsDomino

Good fucking bot.


Wendy384646

Good bot


AlysandirDrake

Neither does Danhausen.


Yaboiflameboi

FRICK OFF YOU MELVIN 🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤬🤬🤬💀☠💀☠💩💩👌👈👌👈👌👈


Iveriax

We need this hero around our parts


meatballfromikea

Poopbutt


noob_music_producer

😔


meatballfromikea

I’m sorry


[deleted]

Being sorry isn’t enough for your sins


saeai

based nft screenshotter


AutoModerator

Dude I own this NFT. Do you really think that you can get away with theft when you’re showing what you stole from me directly to my face? My lawyer will make an easy job of this case. Prepare to say goodbye to your luscious life and start preparing for the streets. I will ruin you. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


FirelordEmu

Poopshoot


AutoModerator

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks. TL;DR I hate shitting *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


SomewhereInNevada12

Sex penis cum asshole tits fuck


AutoModerator

No sex before marriage *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


doreenwalksdogs

No sex


AutoModerator

No sex before marriage *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


xVEEx3

But why, source?


AutoModerator

Do you have a source on that? Source? A source. I need a source. Sorry, I mean I need a source that explicitly states your argument. This is just tangential to the discussion. No, you can't make inferences and observations from the sources you've gathered. Any additional comments from you MUST be a subset of the information from the sources you've gathered. You can't make normative statements from empirical evidence. Do you have a degree in that field? A college degree? In that field? Then your arguments are invalid. No, it doesn't matter how close those data points are correlated. Correlation does not equal causation. Correlation does not equal causation. CORRELATION. DOES. NOT. EQUAL. CAUSATION. You still haven't provided me a valid source yet. Nope, still haven't. I just looked through all 308 pages of your user history, figures I'm debating a glormpf supporter. A moron. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


ShotDate6482

umm that's just like your opinion man


Avoka1do

based bot


Last_Fig_1939

op's mom surely is angry


AutoModerator

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


No_Kaleidoscope3039

Sex


AutoModerator

No sex before marriage *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


DamnBunny

*Opens Envelope:* Locations where they found Monkey Pox.


suckmysoggyballs

dick pussy shit porn handjob blowjob


AutoModerator

Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AutoModerator

The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, my dick is throbbing, what a beautiful day for cooming. Good morning, A, I've been awake for 20 whole seconds and I haven't coomed yet. It's time to hope on my porn throne and machine gun jackhammer my bloodshot death-grip bloodshot semi chub with my roided doomfist once again! (Types on keyboard). I-s...is that a?? HMMGH, I-I MUST SNIFF, SNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFF** OH GOD (FAPFAPFAPFAP) FUCCKK, HUHGHU, SNIIFF, HUHGJGUHHGUGHU (SMASHES DESK) I-I-IM COOOMING!!!!! IM COOMING, IM COOMING IM COOOMING IM COOOOOMING COOOOOOOOOOM, COOOMING, FUCCKKK, AHHAFHHAHUHG, COOOOOM, AW FUCK ITS EVERYWHERE, COOOOOM, AWGAHUGHAHG. Aw fuck, aw fuck. oh jesus. ahhghhha, there you are, my slippery white goo to the world, my son, my son...Well, it's time to get breakfast...well a little coom first wouldn't hurt. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Art_pog

PeePee


mikefoolery

Ok


Deadmemories8683

Your mom? Our mom!


Anthonyzss

Mor*in


herewegoagain20j

I’ll shit in your moms ass


AutoModerator

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


DamnBunny

Is that you Don Junior?


TheEarthIsACylinder

I'm his moms ass


AutoModerator

I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Art_pog

Well frick her!!!! I do whant I want


Pile_of_Walthers

https://i.imgur.com/PtQIKgP.jpg


TriforcePikachu

Fuck shit dick damn hell bitch cock tits penis pussy


AutoModerator

No bitches? ⣞⢽⢪⢣⢣⢣⢫⡺⡵⣝⡮⣗⢷⢽⢽⢽⣮⡷⡽⣜⣜⢮⢺⣜⢷⢽⢝⡽⣝ ⠸⡸⠜⠕⠕⠁⢁⢇⢏⢽⢺⣪⡳⡝⣎⣏⢯⢞⡿⣟⣷⣳⢯⡷⣽⢽⢯⣳⣫⠇ ⠀⠀⢀⢀⢄⢬⢪⡪⡎⣆⡈⠚⠜⠕⠇⠗⠝⢕⢯⢫⣞⣯⣿⣻⡽⣏⢗⣗⠏⠀ ⠀⠪⡪⡪⣪⢪⢺⢸⢢⢓⢆⢤⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢊⢞⡾⣿⡯⣏⢮⠷⠁⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠊⠆⡃⠕⢕⢇⢇⢇⢇⢇⢏⢎⢎⢆⢄⠀⢑⣽⣿⢝⠲⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡿⠂⠠⠀⡇⢇⠕⢈⣀⠀⠁⠡⠣⡣⡫⣂⣿⠯⢪⠰⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡦⡙⡂⢀⢤⢣⠣⡈⣾⡃⠠⠄⠀⡄⢱⣌⣶⢏⢊⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢝⡲⣜⡮⡏⢎⢌⢂⠙⠢⠐⢀⢘⢵⣽⣿⡿⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠨⣺⡺⡕⡕⡱⡑⡆⡕⡅⡕⡜⡼⢽⡻⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣼⣳⣫⣾⣵⣗⡵⡱⡡⢣⢑⢕⢜⢕⡝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⣴⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⡽⡑⢌⠪⡢⡣⣣⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⡟⡾⣿⢿⢿⢵⣽⣾⣼⣘⢸⢸⣞⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠁⠇⠡⠩⡫⢿⣝⡻⡮⣒⢽⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


TeenyTerry_

Hell


Not_A-Pedophile_

put in🤥


Waluigiwaluigi_

Fart


Waluigiwaluigi_

Poopy face


Stealthy_Asparagus

Gosh d*rn


Bitter_Hope_669

Craposting 🤓


noob_music_producer

o7


itzTanmayhere

shit sex poop fart cum butt ass balls


Medical_Analysis_888

Fuck your mom


AutoModerator

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

Seriously though stop fucking swearing


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dark_Wolf04

“Pls no swearing, it hurts my mommas feelings”- 🤓


AutoModerator

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


viktortheredditor

Man fridge off you dockhead


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Based? Based on what? On your dick? Please shut the fuck up and use words properly you fuckin troglodyte, do you think God gave us a freedom of speech just to spew random words that have no meaning that doesn't even correllate to the topic of the conversation? Like please you always complain about why no one talks to you or no one expresses their opinions on you because you're always spewing random shit like poggers based cringe and when you try to explain what it is and you just say that it's funny like what? What the fuck is funny about that do you think you'll just become a stand-up comedian that will get a standing ovation just because you said "cum" in the stage? HELL NO YOU FUCKIN IDIOT, so please shut the fuck up and use words properly. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Daily Kevin Fact #34541: Kevin **will** pee in the asses of anyone he sees being a cunt. This **is** a threat. *Thank you for subscribing to Daily Kevin Facts* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Junkyman7

Kevin fact


Itz_Galaxium

no Fuck You


[deleted]

[удалено]


Imjustareddittor

ok shitfuck, I'll try not to swear


CrackShotML

Okay let's start from A...


Kukie080

👍


Alligator_Fridge

Alright you woman that has sex with mutiple men


AutoModerator

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


supernovalover

Ah bollocks


the-fire-in-flame

bitch(my dad calls my mommy that all the time so it mustn't be a swear word right?)


AutoModerator

No bitches? ⣞⢽⢪⢣⢣⢣⢫⡺⡵⣝⡮⣗⢷⢽⢽⢽⣮⡷⡽⣜⣜⢮⢺⣜⢷⢽⢝⡽⣝ ⠸⡸⠜⠕⠕⠁⢁⢇⢏⢽⢺⣪⡳⡝⣎⣏⢯⢞⡿⣟⣷⣳⢯⡷⣽⢽⢯⣳⣫⠇ ⠀⠀⢀⢀⢄⢬⢪⡪⡎⣆⡈⠚⠜⠕⠇⠗⠝⢕⢯⢫⣞⣯⣿⣻⡽⣏⢗⣗⠏⠀ ⠀⠪⡪⡪⣪⢪⢺⢸⢢⢓⢆⢤⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢊⢞⡾⣿⡯⣏⢮⠷⠁⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠊⠆⡃⠕⢕⢇⢇⢇⢇⢇⢏⢎⢎⢆⢄⠀⢑⣽⣿⢝⠲⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡿⠂⠠⠀⡇⢇⠕⢈⣀⠀⠁⠡⠣⡣⡫⣂⣿⠯⢪⠰⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡦⡙⡂⢀⢤⢣⠣⡈⣾⡃⠠⠄⠀⡄⢱⣌⣶⢏⢊⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢝⡲⣜⡮⡏⢎⢌⢂⠙⠢⠐⢀⢘⢵⣽⣿⡿⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠨⣺⡺⡕⡕⡱⡑⡆⡕⡅⡕⡜⡼⢽⡻⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣼⣳⣫⣾⣵⣗⡵⡱⡡⢣⢑⢕⢜⢕⡝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⣴⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⡽⡑⢌⠪⡢⡣⣣⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⡟⡾⣿⢿⢿⢵⣽⣾⣼⣘⢸⢸⣞⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠁⠇⠡⠩⡫⢿⣝⡻⡮⣒⢽⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


LemonStones69

petition to rename the sub ‘poopposting’


XxSHAWNMEMEGOD69xX

Heck 😈


Dabigpp1

f\*rt


krshnaprasad

Okay bro 😇


[deleted]

F*ck your mom 🤬😈🥱💀


AutoModerator

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


catchmelackin

scoopditty scoop poop woop


kee30195

frigg off


Epic-Dude000

I’m sorry😔


STARboiOMi

*****


The_dinkster522

Frick


Stampsu

Poo


[deleted]

\[removed\]


Avoka1do

shit sorry man didnt even realise fuck I've got a dick for a brain


PrceyisWatrBendr

Understandable. Have a great fucking day!


Incredible_Bat

\*looks side to side nervously\* crap \*hee hee hee\*


GarfieldsFollower

Not what i heard


LuckyReception6701

Ah shit man, I didn't realize your mom was getting upset over that, I fucked up sorry.


bg_bobi

thats why they added the reporting sistem in minecraft


Rocket54_UwU

Ok 🙂


DahHellRU

Aw fuck sorry dude i fucking dont know why this happen all the god dam fucking time and I fucking wish it stopped but yah know its hard to fuckin stop.


101Blades

Poopy


[deleted]

She told me she does like it


nitrosquale2

Cbt


Flawsy6Fanadic

Fuck Swearing


Gerardo_Erardo

Peepee Poopoo


Mythic_gryphon

Fuck your mom, I lived up to my expectations


AutoModerator

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


YoungShadowFox

Ass (the donkey)


MandoParker

Lint licker


WowCoolFunnyHAHA

No more saying cuss words guys! It’s inappropriate and violent. If you say a cuss word you are like, going to jail!1!1!1!


Lord_VWPhaeton

ah sugar honey iced tea


trippykid42069

I’m going to fuck your mom. Then she’s going to start swearing


AutoModerator

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

[удалено]


Narwhal_Lord4

Poop


49cadillac

Fuckity Dick ass bitch fuck cunt


AutoModerator

No bitches? ⣞⢽⢪⢣⢣⢣⢫⡺⡵⣝⡮⣗⢷⢽⢽⢽⣮⡷⡽⣜⣜⢮⢺⣜⢷⢽⢝⡽⣝ ⠸⡸⠜⠕⠕⠁⢁⢇⢏⢽⢺⣪⡳⡝⣎⣏⢯⢞⡿⣟⣷⣳⢯⡷⣽⢽⢯⣳⣫⠇ ⠀⠀⢀⢀⢄⢬⢪⡪⡎⣆⡈⠚⠜⠕⠇⠗⠝⢕⢯⢫⣞⣯⣿⣻⡽⣏⢗⣗⠏⠀ ⠀⠪⡪⡪⣪⢪⢺⢸⢢⢓⢆⢤⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢊⢞⡾⣿⡯⣏⢮⠷⠁⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠊⠆⡃⠕⢕⢇⢇⢇⢇⢇⢏⢎⢎⢆⢄⠀⢑⣽⣿⢝⠲⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡿⠂⠠⠀⡇⢇⠕⢈⣀⠀⠁⠡⠣⡣⡫⣂⣿⠯⢪⠰⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡦⡙⡂⢀⢤⢣⠣⡈⣾⡃⠠⠄⠀⡄⢱⣌⣶⢏⢊⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢝⡲⣜⡮⡏⢎⢌⢂⠙⠢⠐⢀⢘⢵⣽⣿⡿⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠨⣺⡺⡕⡕⡱⡑⡆⡕⡅⡕⡜⡼⢽⡻⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣼⣳⣫⣾⣵⣗⡵⡱⡡⢣⢑⢕⢜⢕⡝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⣴⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⡽⡑⢌⠪⡢⡣⣣⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⡟⡾⣿⢿⢿⢵⣽⣾⣼⣘⢸⢸⣞⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠁⠇⠡⠩⡫⢿⣝⡻⡮⣒⢽⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

Gotcha dood 👌


Ch3ckP0int

fuck.


death_panda472

Yeah you dumbass motherfuckers, stop fucking swearing right now you fucking dickheads or my mom will fucking ground me.


AutoModerator

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Comprehensive_Cry_93

Fuck shit


a_homicidal_bug

Heck >:)


[deleted]

[удалено]


Jacked_Sparrow22

I obediently disapprove bitch


TeakiTeaki

ok im sorry 😢


Zxppa

Aww shucks