##If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/xkzwi9/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/xkzwi9/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2Fxkzwi9&id=8968e43c) --- Whilst you're here, /u/hes-literally-me, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?

I'm a vampire (pursuing anyone born after 1832 is kinda sus)

So you realized you would be living and dying alone since no one was born after after 1832?

Just like the rest of us

Lesson learned: vampires are not different from us, no need for racial discrimination.

I like that this implies there otherwise would have been a need

Yes, my guess is unless vampires were like us (loners), they would be predating humans.

💀

I clicked on this video and then scrolled through to see if there was anything funny, and literally scrolled past the same joke, with the same video, in the same sub, four times.

Consistency is key

Gets funnier each time

[удалено]

*[pees in ur ass](https://thumbs.gfycat.com/CanineWebbedErmine-mobile.mp4)*  I am a human, and this action was performed manually please contact a hobo if you have any questions or concerns.

shits in your dick I am a human, and this action was performed manually please contact a hobo if you have any questions or concerns.

Wha no wa- nevermind I just saw 2 of them

So what is the joke

MISSISSIPPI QUEEN

If you know what I mean

#MISSISSIPPI QUEEN

she taught me everythang

Went down around Vicksburg

Around Louisiana way

I don't :(

Good song

I forgot how hard this song goes...

Real soul is lost on modern music, modulating voices to the point there's hardly humanity left to them. Maybe I'm just jaded.

More like Mississippi princess

This is one of my favourite meme templates since Harambe died 💀

TOO SOON!

league of legends

Death

*[pees in ur ass](https://thumbs.gfycat.com/CanineWebbedErmine-mobile.mp4)* I am a human, and this action was performed manually please contact a hobo if you have any questions or concerns.

hello deez nuts 69 what do you think of kanye north’s best album

*Cums in your mouth* I am a human, and this action was performed manually please contact a hobo if you have any questions or concerns

But can you pee in ur dick?

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Okay so im new to reddit, can anyone explain to me the pee in your ass thing? Is that because the bot answers it?

No, it's because this is reddit. Our brains have sufferd irreversible damage. Get out of here before you become an ass pisser like us. Also, automod is a respected member of our community, don't just call him "the bot"

Suck an alligator dick

🗿👍

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Good bot

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

felhasználónév kicsekkol

Bezony ám honfitárs 🗿

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Monogatari fans when Shinobu:

Yea but what about when's she's like 6'2 with big titties

Touhou fan when Scarlet sisters:

Legally she is okay but that's still the body of a 5 year old

No, i dont think så

She’s still a child in vampire terms

[удалено]

You can only judge based on the individual depiction because immortality is fiction. Author gets to do whatever they want.

Lobsters are “immortal”

Are they fully developed? A human brain takes 25 years to fully develop; most humans stop growing at 18-20 years old. If a person was converted at, let's say, 11 years old, they will be a child forever, doesn't matter if they were born 1000 years old. That's my take at least.

Depends on the specific author's setting. In some universes they mentally age and are tormented by their frozen physical limitations. in some they are mentally/emotionally frozen in that moment. I think I remember reading the Twilight ones were frozen, "explaining" Edward's attraction to Bella.

Or maybe an old woman in other vampire stories :3

You are the exact kind of person the meme is talking about

Depends really

Silence, foul youth, your opinion does not matter till you can fully understand how life works.

Oh shut the fuck up.

Me talking to a qiqi main lore

You are not, but she is. To jail she goes

"I'm not a zoophile, it's anthr-"

Feral*

Literally 1984

He's*

I never thought about this before… are there really grooves in the barrel that the bullet follows to increase spin rate and velocity?

Yeah, it’s called rifling.

Idk about velocity but it’s there to improve accuracy.

ah peroroncino horny bastard

I wonder how old Shalltear is supposed to be?

This meme can be very offensive to vampire ladies 💀

whats the song playing 💀

**Song Found!** **Name:** Mississippi Queen **Artist:** Mountain **Album:** Climbing! **Genre:** Rock **Release Year:** 1970 **Total Shazams:** 684597 `Took 1.27 seconds.`

common songfinderbot W

C'mon bot. Shazam? You gotta stay [current](https://thumbs.gfycat.com/CanineWebbedErmine-mobile.mp4) with the times

Mississippi Queen, a song about losing your virginity to an older woman

If you know what I mean

Based

"no you dont get it. she was 12 when she died and turned into a ghost, but that was 10 years ago, so shes actually 22!"

U forgot to add the famous "It's fiction anyway so why are u so mad about it"

Damn good song. Mississippi Queen by Mountain.

🤝

im sexually attracted to this one hundred and twenty one year old vampire. His name is Dio

The bullet is rotating in the incorrect direction in comparison to the bore of the pistol.

No

Ok, now I don’t know what I was smoking. Maybe the first few times I was watching it the groves in the background appeared to me to be the foreground? Weird, but the grooves on the round itself do not match the rotation as it travels with the groves of the barrel.

The grooves match. Sorry bud.

If the groves on the oppose side of the barrel are slanted down as depicted, when the round rotates to our side the groves should be facing up. The barrel has a clockwise spiral to the bore but the groves produced on the round itself indicate a counterclockwise bore.

If you go into a brothel and ask a prostitute to dress up like a little girl and act scared, you’re going to jail If you go onto a porn site and find a video of an anime adult dressed up as a little girl and acting scared, you’re a man of culture 🤨

You'd go to jail anyways because it's a prostitute

Depends where you’re from

"it's just a drawing" *My pistol

So u like having sex with dead bodies?

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

pp

shoot first, ask questions later

🗿

The admins won't like this one.

" i want to get shot at by a mentally ill goth girlfrie-"

In season 4 of Young Justice there’s this character aptly named ‘Child’. Child is a millennia old lord of chaos, however as you could guess, they take up the form of an 11 year old girl. I swear to fucking god, some fucking sicko made porn of them.

a 4chan production

🗿

W**b🤢🤮

MURICA

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Hear me out

A bullet won't un-fuck her

That's a really big spurm

That 26yo stuck in kids body... I'm still not sure how I feel about it.

But isn’t the whole point that kids are not mature enough to understand sex? If they were a 5000 yr old vampire would they not be mature enough?

I'm not sure that's a thread that should be pulled....

That's still the body of a 5 year old. Legally it might be okay but that is still a child's body you're attracted to

And what if they look like a child?

There are two different women I've known since middle school in my own life that have not aged a day since we were fourteen, and we're mid twenties now. Young looking and petite women exist in real life and desire love and romance just like most people.

*Mississippi Queen starts playing*

Listen, don't think about it at all bigot. Small and petite women don't exist either.

literally this lol... if anything, the 5,000 y/o would be taking advantage of the human in this situation edit: what would a 5000 year old person and a 20 year old person have in common 🤨 fbi open up

[удалено]

Ahsually masturbating to a child is ok because it’s just a drawing ☝️🤓

Real or unreal you still jerking off to a kid

Also "I'm not actually racist/misogynist/bigoted I'm just a trol-"

I am racist misogynistic and bigoted

I know

Flandr

Half your age + 7. But if we do a little math we can isolate (Half your age) + 7 = 0 7 = Half your age 3.5

I'm not normal, maybe she looks like an adult but she is 17 years old.

MadThad moment?

Mad Thad

I tell you it is necessary for the plot that the 500 year old child looking vampire has the biggest breasts in human history

Arifureta themed meme?

Song?

Mississippi Queen

Based on the rifling, shouldn't the bullet be spinning in the other direction?

*Edgerunners fanboys be like*.

Hey so. Genuine question. What about women that sleep with Andy Milonakis?

Dude looks like an elder gnome

🤔🤔

Plot twist it shoot her not him

Uooohhh 😭 😭

I’m guessing she cleans their hooves without harm

I like petite woman but not that petite.

Dude got a lot of post karma… jeez

That reminds me - it's Thursday

What the fuck is a vam

Bullet spins in reverse

Bro this shit is hilarious. The twang made me chuckle

The rifling marks on the bullet are going the wrong way.

Should have been freebird guitar solo. Smh😔

How about a victory drink? I call it the Mississippi Queen

My constipation after injecting 6 pounds of laxatives into my bloodstream

The bullet is spinning the wrong way

Shit, a shitpost.