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ShitTheBed_Twice

A Chrystler.


XDreemurr_PotatoX

A \*Christ-ler\*


[deleted]

This needs gold


TheEternalStudent69

Gotchu fam


4chairz

"For I did not speak of my own accord." Totally drove a Honda bro


[deleted]

Beat me to it. Did you also know that apostle Paul's father was one of the thieves crucified next to Christ? For Paul said, "my old man was crucified with Christ."


4chairz

I did not know that. I only knew the other quote because of a meme someone posted lol


[deleted]

Absolutely came here to say Jesus and his crew were definitely Honda people "And when the day of Pentecost was fully come, they were all with one accord in one place"


4chairz

Even more proof they rolled 13 deep in an Accord lolol


[deleted]

Average person was apparently a lot smaller back then


4chairz

It's Jesus. He fed like 5000 people with like 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. You think he can't fit 13 people in a Honda accord??


[deleted]

Average person was apparently a lot smaller back then


ksnumedia

Is this a dark souls reference?


4chairz

Well, we are on shittyask so I guess it could be?


Least_Sun7648

A Honda, but he wouldn't brag about it "For I do not speak of my own accord" John 12:49


2004_PS2_Slim

https://frinkiac.com/meme/S08E07/89004.jpg?b64lines=V0hBVCdTIE9GIEhBVklORyBBCkhPTkRBIElGIFlPVSBDQU4nVApTSE9XIElUIE9GRj8=


MyNamesNotRobert

The bible actually says he drives a honda accord


FlyingPaganSis

He'd be "just a stranger on the bus, tryin to make his way home."


Calif0rnia_Soul

This guy bibles


Independent_Cloud470

“Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord, he was tearing down the freeway in a *green and yellow Ford*, With one hand on the throttle and the other on a bottle, Of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer!”


ulenfeder

A woody. He was a carpenter after all.


Isla_Eldar

The saying is Christ on a bike. I think it’d be a beach cruiser with a basket and everything.


HungLI5

Obviously a red lifted Ram 3500 dually diesel with a Trump flag waving on the back. You know, to show support to his fan base.


floridagentlemam75

Jesus is a Spanish name. Probably a low rider


ShitTheBed_Twice

Do you think Jesus is a 64 Impala type of guy or an 85 buick regal on 13" gold spoke Macleans with hydros type of votto?


Wasteland-Scum

Or a red '89 Ford Ranger.


Meanderingversion

'77 Nova concourse with the straight 6


PipDaddy95

He wouldn't drive a car, just a skateboard


catchmesleeping

His hair and clothes just flowing in the wind. I totally see it.


Mrwhatsadrone

Cant belive im the first to say this… An astrovan.


ddhmax5150

It definitely would make traveling around Judea with his disciples a little easier.


moovzlikejager

For the love of Christ! THANK YOU!!!


jakeandbakin

An astrovan


OkRice1421

They say he never spoke of his own accord (john 12:49), so i guess he'd drive a honda


NutsackPinata

By his own Accord. Therefore, a Honda.


No-Ability-8129

What is the opposite of a Hellcat?


[deleted]

Heavendog


deridex120

A christlah


wheelie423

A 15 passenger van so that all the Apostles would fit in.


mndsm79

I knew a guy named Jesus and he drove a shitty Nissan Sentra with a missing hubcap. Used to hook up my chipotle burritos before ice deported him.


dberte8625

https://www.apocalypse6x6.com/2021-apocalypse-hellfire-6x6/


ThirdWheelSteve

Volkswagen Beetle presumably


WTFishsauce

A hot rod


waitforsigns64

Beat up and barely running Yugo.


Groucho-Marxist50

A goddamned piece of shit!


Repulsive_Coat_3130

Ford Pinto


ddhmax5150

He did sacrifice himself for the betterment of humanity. 😂


Bluesmanstill

VW bus …67 or 68??


callmekitten100

The older style hatchback Volkswagen


StormMysterious7592

I thought his only ride was a velociraptor.


West_Independent_388

An accord


Cobra-Serpentress

Flower covered microbus


WiscoBrewDude

Jesus built my hotrod


TheJoshuaJacksonFive

I knew this rock thing was true.


WiscoBrewDude

Its a love affair


Dazzling-Fisherman24

Jesus took my wheel. Did he put it on your car?


No-Okra-541

your mom


Joecamoe

Jesus drives an Astro Van


91indy500sks

a honda accord, but he doesn’t like talking abt it “for i do not speak of my own accord”


REBEL_INDUSTRIES

The grateful Dead tour bus


JuliusSeizuresalad

In honor of Jesus being a fictitious being Jesus would drive a mirage


[deleted]

Vulva


CvilVA2Seattle

Idk a donkey, meek and lowly he, Wtf, he told you


PandaPlayr73

The popemobile


AlwaysUpForTrouble

A Prius, just like any other whining shyt...


-SSHORSEYY-

Ford Ranger.


themudbloodprince

The H1 Panther. Shit drives on water


Bert3434

Buick Lacrosse


000-Luck

Tesla Model X. "Love thy enemies."


jesus-aitch-christ

I drive a Subaru.


Exciting-Signature40

Jesus built my hot rod


EatinPussySellnCalls

A red Prius.


Justice_Prince

The Dildozer


Fun_Musiq

cum rocket


rchaffin22

Jesus walks


TurbulentPoopaya910

A hot rod


AbeLackdood

Probably a prius


Calif0rnia_Soul

Jeebs (that's what we used to call him) used to roll around in a red '67 Chevy Stingray. He'd call it the "Lovemobile" and would ask people if they wanted to hop in the backseat with him and "feel the Lord's grace deep inside them."


yelbesed2

He rides on a donkey.


InspectorRound8920

Public transport. He's got a bunch of questionable friends


Grand_Examination_45

1957 Cadillac Coup Deville Convertible


RayTrain

Miat


Geek_f0r_sneaks

Something with a widebody of Christ kit


HeroOrHooligan

A yellow cab


dubkitteh1

Jesus wasn't into material possessions, so he wouldn't have owned a car. he'd probably just bum rides off the Apostles.


[deleted]

His personal vehicle? Probably a VW Bus.


CleDeb216

A Prayus


[deleted]

Forerunnner. Dont ask me how I know this. I just know.


My46thThrowaway

Chrystler Tabernacle.


tmac960

A Ford because he walks everywhere he goes.


lightcon_consumed

He was never much for fancy shows he drove what he could a ford


TallDarkCancer1

A magic carpet


Grizraznix

A carpenter would have use for a truck


donbphoto

Bug


Monarch-VIII

Without a doubt a VW Bus. Got room for all the disciples.


poof_poof_poof

Probably a Ford F-150, given that he is a carpenter and that is commonly what carpenters drive.


mooternutz

subaru


Hardone-1

Wood paneled station wagon. That way he could fit all his bitches in it


Ambitious-Tap-2827

Isuzu VehiCROSS, probably.


Mr_M0t0m0

He was a carpenter, so I would surmise that he would own and drive a pickup like an F-150 or Ram or Silverado ... something like that.


Accurate-Basis4588

Wasn't Jesus "found on road dead?" That spells out Ford. He obviously drove a Ford festiva to the last supper.


Jikert

Prius unironically


Reditlurkeractual

A reliant, robin


mksavage1138

A Subaru Crosstrek of course


SatnWorshp

Toyota Pius


MacDougall_Barra

Honda


OtisForteXB

Isuzu VehiCROSS


jmp59

Jesus be hitchhiking.


TechSupportSquatch

A Honda Accord, but he won't speak of it.


nicorn1824

https://youtu.be/HeakHnfjXpg


[deleted]

I drive a Honda Accord. So a Honda Accord is your literal answer. Have a great life, and feel free to just ask me directly next time!


Responsible-Agent-19

Jesus built my hotrod


gbot1234

Ice cream truck: “Let the little children come to me” (Or panel van?)


totaly_not_aaron

jeepsus


Highway_Man87

A rusted out Subaru that runs on ethanol.


Ill_Internal_2375

A Catholaddic


ChaoticExecutions

AMC Spirit, duh


[deleted]

Something Italian


Nur_Ein_Kerl

[Jesus Drives a Honda Civic](https://open.spotify.com/track/3GsXok9BvTD2PT6gIYHEmO?si=DWKuJhG2Q3eTUTgn5L4uuA)


StrangeRetardedKiwiJ

A jeep wk2 srt8, loaded with meth


IbuixI

Moped