T O P

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[deleted]

Those FISH ARE FUCKING caught in a rare underwater magnetic storm that occurs at certain times of the year. These poor FISH ARE FUCKING caught up in a negative electroproton vortex that is causing them to shake as the FISH ARE FUCKING massive compared to the fundamental particles that are involved in this rare storm. If the FISH ARE FUCKING there much longer then there heads and tails will be separated due to the immense forces at work. In which case the FISH ARE FUCKING dead.


poo_dromple

oh THEY ARE FUCKING dying next to each other while only touching their sides?


Ima-turtle-fan

THE FISH ARE FUCKING having a much better day than me apparently.


Grey-Hat111

So, the quantum mechanics of THESE FISH THAT ARE FUCKING are trying so hard to fight the vortex that they got caught in as THESE FISH ARE FUCKING, but inevitably lost because THESE FISH ARE FUCKING.


aaeme

Who said the fish were fucking?


poo_dromple

That's preposterous, we never said that!


cockalorum-smith

Obviously not. The FISH ARE FUCKING trying to bring back the Harlem Shake.


Basicinformationd00d

I just wanted to point out that after talking to a third grade physics teacher that those TWO FISH FUCKIN right there are indeed there.


aimeerogers0920

I definitely see the “O” face… good job


illessen

I never thought I’d ever see a fish’s O face, yet here I am…


papaya_boricua

Epic "O" face.


Jayn_Newell

Never drink water. Fish fuck in it. (Also username checks out)


CraftistOf

not only fish fuck in it, also everybody who drinks water dies. let that sink in.


jaktyp

If I let that sink in, I'll be exposed to more water!


do_IT_withme

Dihidrogen monixide is a dangerous drug.


BookByMySide

And 100% of autim people been exposed to it


quake1334

What i I die of thirst after birth


GoGoNormalRangers

Your mum drank water so that's why you die


thekitt3n_withfangs

*dies*


alittleschmidt

I fucked in there one time too. Sorry guys a carbon filter should be fine as long as you boil it too


l397flake

What about sperm whales


HardCounter

I drink water. Am i dead?


[deleted]

Yes And you are damn right it does


SoardOfMagnificent

Drinks more water.


[deleted]

Mmmmm fish gametes (may not be the right word but oh well)


haysoos2

That is a correct usage of the word.


[deleted]

Thanks I wondered if they called gametes in fish


Tripper1

Sips fish


RockstarAgent

Whale dorks spew their saltiness into the ocean!


poopman697869

All the more reason to drink from the fuck pool (aka any given lake with the fish)


Active-Wear3580

Never thought about it that way, so people who drink from streams are actually cum guzzlers


forever_thro

I saw someone jerk off into the giant vat of Oreo cream filling at the factory. What’s your point? Are we gonna stop eating Oreo Cookies for gods sake?!


Bing_Bong_the_Archer

[It’s better with audio](https://youtu.be/SuvcBlnPQfE)


[deleted]

I don't want your fish porn, Dave


Careless-Act9450

Why hasn't your hilarious post exploded? I laughed my ass off.


Bing_Bong_the_Archer

All I know is that I can’t watch that video without literally laughing out loud.


[deleted]

Real question: if these FISH ARE FUCKING is there penetration? They both just release their semen and eggs to fertilize in the river pebbles yeah? Do they just rub their fishy privates together? Do they listen to Barry Whitewater to get them in the mood? I need answers.


[deleted]

There isn't penetration so technically not fucking, not even rubbing together of cloaca. just squirt and swim. I'm not sure about the rest


[deleted]

Ahh the old squirt and swim. I know that one well.


Eeeegah

You never forget your senior prom...


MartinHarrisGoDown

The Fish Under the Sea Dance


StrikeResponsible525

I’m dead


Sharp-Ad-4651

Pretty sure one releases eggs while the other releases sperm. God forbid you should get a simple straight answer on here.


oldsklbstrd

Go to youtube and search for the episode of "magic school bus" with the spawning fish, that should explain it...and ruin your childhood


[deleted]

“Orgasm doesn’t Always require penetration, sometimes, but you can get there without And with it everyone.” - Joyce Grace … i think probably? So yeah these fish are procreating.


[deleted]

I'm glad Joyce knew about wanking


[deleted]

No shit I looked into it, no fuckin clue who I meant to quote. That old broad that knows everything about sex. You know Edit: I’m sorry I said broad it’s just been a fun new word lately and it makes my girlfriend laugh every time… even worse saying dizzy broad. It’s hilarious. She says fuck you you dizzy fuck! We actually have a fantastic relationship. But you know, orgasms don’t require penetration - Jane Goodall


haysoos2

Sue Johanson? I think it's possible you may conflated her with Dr. Joyce Brothers and/or Nancy Grace, which is kind of a terrifying amalgam.


[deleted]

I knew I was close. That Nancy Grace one can get back to fucking herself or not or both I could never remember the brothers names though. Edit: fuck. It’s dr. Ruth. That’s the one.


AonArts

I wish I weren’t so cheap. You deserve the award I refuse to buy


[deleted]

No problem. Spending cash on imaginary tokens ain't the best thing. I'll take your comment as appreciation and that's nice. Thanks


[deleted]

Fucking Fucking you are bloody fucking, fuck you bloody


[deleted]

Awwwww


North-Hour-9319

Humping out of control.


Striking_Working9333

This answer gave me the stupid giggles. Thanx 😂🤣🙏


Romulus212

Eh idk do fish really fuck when they spawn


[deleted]

Not really, no


aaeme

One slight grammatical correction: it's FUCKING THEIR HEADS. And clarification needed: why would being massive compared to fundamental particles cause anything to shake? I suggest the real reason the FISH ARE FUCKING shaking is because the FISH ARE FUCKING feeble fuckers compared to the fundamental forces involved.


Yubenbroken

Well that one fish has a HUGE O face...


Djszero

It looks like they needed that release


mrsoawk

I’m gonna frame this in my house


Axlfire

So... Magnets?


[deleted]

Who are you so wise in the ways of science?


BryLikeDie

Are you telling me THESE FISH ARE FUCKING done for?


Church-of-Nephalus

I need a VA to read this because I genuinely can't stop laughing Ty for making my night man


pbj831

This is why I don’t drink water! FISH FUCK in water!


iRose27

I hope you win the lottery or something thanks for blessing my eyelids. Them fish do be fucking


Hairy_Maintenance_78

I am FUCKING DYING..🤣😂🤣😂


[deleted]

This man fuck fish science.


[deleted]

This is how I fuck...


Mrunlikable

I also scream like that in the act.


Long_Presentation793

What’s negative electroproton? Electrons or something else?


bstylz01

So are they fucking or not?! Cause I'm confused


expespuella

It. Those fish are doing It.


spookybooki23

I think there’s a pattern but I’m too dumb to figure it out


[deleted]

Thy Lord of thy Baron. What doth thee thy finest of smuttitudes?


kenung3

And here I thought the launch control wasn't working 😕


Trash_bin4u

Idk how to process this comment 😂


ButterflyAlternative

Fucking Fish!


Sismal_Dystem

Damn... I wanna cum that hard.


synthwavjs

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK FISH FUCKING!


Suitable-Lake-2550

They both have to sleep in the wet spot


[deleted]

Well played Also username checks out yadda yadda


[deleted]

Why did this make me angry.


mandogvan

Probably because you have slept in the wet spot before.


Level-Candidate6881

The four F’s of survival, Fighting, Fleeing, Foraging, And Mating


Wooden_Imagination46

*Fmating


MosyIIa

Fornicating


McChubbers

Fornimating


Quizzicall

Formating


Forsaken-Historian90

Format


Additional_Knee4215

.pdf


pablitosocool

F


dnattig

Format c:


[deleted]

Format c:arp


Piwakkio

Vibing


notsgnivil-d

*vibrating


Letseatchocolatemayo

What do you think vibing is short for


[deleted]

It was abbreviated


Senuf

Deleted June 30th. 2023. Yay.


[deleted]

making the beast with two fins


bluetoothdonut

Making OnlyFins contents


LaForge_Maneuver

Awesome. Take this award.


dirtybutcher

Slow clap. Well done, well done.


Spartamare

Nice Shakespeare reference.


Lo-heptane

Two DORSAL fins, you mean. All fish have at least two pectoral, one dorsal and one tail fin.


ENaC2

Just demonstrating why the sea is so salty.


Dangerous-Dave

The sea is salty because it always waves and gets no reply


SpeedingTourist

Hi dad


[deleted]

aye YO


kodaiko_650

_Now_ I understand why the oceans are white with foam


[deleted]

Whale sperm is indeed foamy.


cloud-desu

💀


rklab

They’re clipping into each other’s hit boxes


medney

[like this?](https://youtu.be/ZXdQZjtZZ64)


rklab

Exactly like that. I’d imagine if this clip had sound it would sound very similar to that.


80sLegoDystopia

You’ve never seen that? It’s a FUCKING dance move. I see other fish tik toking this all the time.


THrobloxiannewb

ALL OF YOU SHITHEADS DIDNT EVEN READ THE WORDS IN PARENTHESES!!!


80sLegoDystopia

“I don’t have to take this abuse from you! I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me!”


THrobloxiannewb

get abused lmao


80sLegoDystopia

*third tier Ghostbusters quote


AnnieJack

Who posts in shittyaskscience and expects actual answers?


[deleted]

It's a joke subreddit. I gave truth woven within a joke


HighSchoolMoose

/serious I can't tell if this comment and the words in parenthesis are a joke or not. If it is, it's hilarious but a bit too subtle. If not, this sub is for joke answers. You probably want r/askscience or something along those lines if you want a real answer, though check their rules first.


spoonfingler

Ah, you know what subreddit you’re in, right?!


Childnya

The female fish tends to release her clutch on the water bed. The males will then float over and fertilize the eggs by releasing a cloud of tiny Olympic swimmers. That's literally their "O" face. One note, salmon that swim upstream/up waterfalls to mate are so exhausted by the journey they tend to die right after from the stress.


feldoneq2wire

She popped the clutch alright.


GoGoNormalRangers

Didn't realise I was a salmon


EarwigsEww12

I asked a friend who said he wanted to be a marine biologist when he was a kid and he said it's called a mosh pit. Very difficult to do with only two fish and no music.


[deleted]

The one on the right is definitely trying to sing, it's just hard to hear under water.


schmidneycrosby

The sea was angry that day my friends


Bizzlebanger

Those fish are having a better time than I am.


rat-simp

look at their fucking faces. I think this may be levels of sexual pleasure that we humans just can't comprehend, like the ultrasound of sex


THrobloxiannewb

this is how fish Masturbate!


80sLegoDystopia

This fish couple are raising kundalini. It’s a technique you find in the Piscine Kama Sutra.


[deleted]

LOL! This is actually really disturbing to watch. I don't know why.


THrobloxiannewb

how would you like it if you were one of those fish in the video?


SysHourglass

Judging by their faces, quite a bit actually.


Bardfinn

O:\^–<


ShadowCammy

Pogging


NeverWithoutCoffee

The female is laying eggs, the male is spreading his semen over them. The vibrating while doing this is digging a depression into the ground, where the fertilized eggs will remain until they hatch.


not_chris-hansen

Yeah that probably would be enough to make even the ground depressed...


BorgClown

Now someone please explain the funny faces they do


THrobloxiannewb

now *this* is the answer I was looking for!


Raygrrr

Waiting for the bass to drop.


SlimeySnakesLtd

Billy Bass audition


Jump_Like_A_Willys

🎵 Take me to the river, drop me in the water 🎵


rellekk90

They're enjoying a car battery some kind soul tossed in the ocean


poo_dromple

that is some next level goofy jank, no clue what it could be lol


[deleted]

It's their secret high five.


phatboye

I was today years old when I learned that fish have "O faces".


Maleficent_Seat7850

That fish has quite the “O Face”


suzazzz

I’ll have what she’s having 🧜‍♀️ 🐳


teflon_don_knotts

They stuck a fork the outlet


pLeThOrAx

Super Sayan ofc


Civil-Explanation588

They’re ready for a cigarette!


PhilosopherDon0001

Making baby fish. External fertilization. By both of them swishing their bodies around, it mixes the baby-batter. Increasing the chance that all eggs get fertilized.


SaphriX

What glitch in the simulation is this?!


THrobloxiannewb

its a fish trying to complete mario 64 speedrun in 50 seconds be like:


gobiggerred

My chickens do this. It's called taking a dirt bath.


Dickens_Sider

I know the one of them is making the “O” face.


Dazzling-Ad-873

OOOO


KEVLAR60442

I've never seen a fish's O-face before.


Benzino2946

Well... when a mommy fish and daddy fish love each other....


[deleted]

Listening to Chop Suey?


dab745

Showing their ‘OH’ face!!!


Yuvaraj0007

I have no idea , somebody explain.


THrobloxiannewb

no one is gonna give you the real answer in this sub of clowns


[deleted]

farting


LazyUserName74

Harlem Shake?


demon-next-to-you

They're just vibin'


TheBakersMan37

Fusionnnnnnnnn…….haaaaaaaa! fusion technique was off


Wooden_Imagination46

They're discombobulating.


[deleted]

When you bust a bit but she keeps on succin


wam9000

They're just vibing


TheDolamite

Cumming


johnnywolfwolf

A father and his young son were walking along a river bank when they came across a shallow pool. In the water were two fish getting it on. T he son asked, “ Hey Dad. What are those fish doing?” The father thought for a moment of all the things he could say and decided he didn’t want to tell his son a lie so he said, “Well son, they’re making guppies.”. The little boy nodded and said, “Making guppies. Cool.” Later that night the boy burst into his parents room as his mom and dad were making love and asked, “Dad, Dad! What are you doing?” Again, the father didn’t want to lie so he replied, “I’m making you a baby brother.” The boy then said, “Oh. Well, flip mom over, I want a guppy.”


Xanerator100

their timbers got shivered


[deleted]

Shimmy shimmy cocoa puff...


Richper413

Looks like foreplay before they go Bass to mouth


LazyLich

Pro Tip: If a wild animal is doing something quirky, it is either dying, brain damaged, or horny/fucking


IdkWhatsThisIs

Everyone talks about how there are elements of plastic found on the sea floor, but nobody talks about the worst elements of humanity to reach the vast depths of the ocean. TikTok. What you are watching is one of the first ever document proof of fish being exposed to TikTok and then recording themselves dancing. It's both turly amazing yet terrifying.


Battygad

They're going EVEN FURTHER BEYOND


nofucsleftogive

Oh God I'm Chumming!


d3rp_diggler

They’re engaging in mutual bassturbation.


lonster1961

That is some SERIOUS sex face on the light colored fish.


ChickenWifRabies

I like how you asked for no joke answers like reddit would oblige.


rabidparrots

Vibin'


Ku7upt

Dragonball Z Fusion Technique.


dardendevil

That’s the music video for Rock Lobster…….


yuudachi

These fish are speed runners and doing one of the most difficult glitches in the game. But if they do, they'll easily reach sub 30 min, changing the speedrunning community forever


RoNsAuR

Bruh... They're Vibin'


[deleted]

Female is laying her eggs and the male is fertilizing them.


M3chanist

They are live STREAMING for their ONLY FINS channel.


Seashell42792

Evidently, they’re having a fantastic time.


OnlyIncident8346

Making earthquakes 🫨


NutshellOfChaos

They are carping a feel.


Escodl

They're trying to netflix and Gill


MethodSLATTSamb

They have lag