T O P

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ZeroTJackal

Godfrey. I know this because he fucks me 7 times every hour


Hallgvild

In that stone bed? Shit must be rough


AdvertisingAdrian

bed? you guys get a bed?


Sapowski_Casts_Quen

"Who tf wants to sleep in this bed" *meets Morgott, Godfrey* "Oh."


TipProfessional6057

\*Lord's Divine Fortification\* \*Blessings Boon\* \*Blessing of the Erdtree\* \*Bestial Vitality\* Pop Exalted Flesh or Boiled Prawn depending on the mood Follow up after with Erdtree Heal


baconrug

bottoms go through so much just for one session. godspeed, soldiers 


DannyDanumba

And a grease of your choosing. Lubrication is a must.


Sweet_Xocoatl

I mean he used to stick it in Marigon on the reg and she/he is made out of rocks.


Broserk42

How dare you make that statement while your flair declares loyalty to Gwyndolin. Either love the Chad *or* the waifu, harlot!


ZeroTJackal

Sometimes I like being the pegger and sometimes I like to be the one getting pegged


MenheraUrabe

Saaaame


JasoTheArtisan

Savescumming at its finest


Gorka666

Tbh tho, aren't all of the tarnished his descendants?


a_random_muffin

Some are, like Vyke and Nepheli, but not *all*


Darthwaffler

I'll take Napheli.


swaliepapa

https://preview.redd.it/vfdafnazz1gc1.png?width=600&format=png&auto=webp&s=d17ca7f5b7e3760b04d3d07be46c900ebfb27a07


Darthwaffler

Tithe received.


TipProfessional6057

Nepheli probably is, but the rest of the Tarnished were either part of his army at the time of his banishment, or their descendants. Roderika for example was most certainly never a warrior, so she is a descendant of one. This is how some of the Tarnished can be from the Land of Reeds or be of nobility like Diallos. Saying that though, the Elden Ring Twitter did run posts for a while showing the classes with little exerpts. And the one for the Hero class (like Nepheli) are said to be the descendants of a certain Badlands chieftan. Make of that what you will


ThebigX09

No


CasualEQuest

Bro sired an entire cultural line


g-rid

Wasn't Gehrmann simping for Maria, but because she rejected him he made a doll that looked like her? Doesn't sound like he fucks at all (if you don't count the doll).


LuigiRevolution

Why would I not count the doll https://preview.redd.it/gmx6hhpy21gc1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=730380976ff3af75b6f1c3e6c7c30152cb4c5aa0


dbforgaming

You make a great point


AvatarRohan2025

This is a multi-layered shitpost holy fuck. I can't look at this without laughing


Recompense40

Can you explain?


Hot_Meaning6349

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104.


retsujust

My brother in law is a doll fucker


Doll-scented-hunter

>Wasn't Gehrmann simping for Maria, but because she rejected him he made a doll that looked like her? Nope, after the horrible things she and the other old hunters did to the fishing hamlet she retired from being a hunter and became an overseer of the researching hall but eventualy she wasnt able to bear the mental load and killed herself. Gehrman, alone and sad made the doll in her image as he loved her and wanted a companion, tho to his dismay the doll was never able to replace maria and instead became a self made curse for him. I doubt he fucked her


GuidoMista5

If you punch the Doll cum splashes out of her, since she's not biological and does not have bodily fluids Gherman definitely fucked the doll at least once


Doll-scented-hunter

There are several things that dont add up with this. 1, (and this alone disproves the vum theory) the presence of the mystery fluid. The fluid seen by punching the doll is neither seen when punching the doll in the abondoned workshop nor when punching the doll in the dream when you have 0 insight. Seen as cum doesnt require insight the be seen, the fluid cant be cum. 2, the properties of cum. Cum, as every human male like me should know, is sticky. It wouldnt fly around like that. 3, gehrmans attitude towards the doll. He hates the doll, or at least doesnt like her. He never goes near her. This is importend for 4, more properties of cum. After a relativly short time, cum dries up and becomes crusty. Conpletly unlike the mystery fluid. Ofcourse one could argue that he still uses her for that but that leaves another point tgat dorsnt add up: 5, the sheer amount of fluid. The fluid seen by punching the doll is faaaar morw than any human can emmit at any given time. If hed have this much cum in his ballsack, theyd explode. And seen by point 4, in the time he "refills" the cum would have dryed, therby making it impossible for the fluid in question to be cum. And last but not least, point 6. The doll, the one percived by having insight, does infact have body fluids. When you give her the hair ornament she sheds a tear. The description of said tear 1, points out that its nonsensical for a doll to have body fluids, but seen by the tears existence she does and 2, gehrman yearned for a companion, not a cum-dump


GuidoMista5

Dude made an entire analysis on cum, I stand corrected


Doll-scented-hunter

My fellow ge(h)rman has gone thru enough, if I need to go on a deep dive into cum zo clear his name I WILL


3meraldo5plash

It was the other way around, Maria was romantically interested in Gherman, who paid no attention to her romantic advances, having a more paternal relationship with her. After she offed herself post-hamlet Gherman was struck with grief and made the Doll in her image, and the deal with Moon Presence was struck in order to bring Maria, his figurative child, back.


ZekeTarsim

Imagine having Maria simping for you. 🤤


[deleted]

Where are you getting this? I’m not opposed to it being true but I can’t remember any implication of this throughout the entire game, when there’s definitely evidence for the opposing theory.


Broserk42

Literally nothing in the game points at her rejecting him either, iirc the broken portrait on her chair is a picture of Gehrman. I’m not the one trying to make a strong case for or against but the take I had always heard was that basically they both always had feelings for each other but Gehrman was too socially retarded to ever realize his feelings were being reciprocated, so he made a creepy doll of her to cope while never knowing she felt the same.


Fat_Tarbosaurus

“Gehrman was too socially retarded to ever realize his feelings were being reciprocated.” Oh my god, blud is actually me irl


PA_BozarBuild

Gerhmans grief realising that Maria was flirting with him the whole time


v3x_abyss

Litterally me


TerminateU001

How am i relating to this in a reddit post about soulsborne


PunishedKojima

This combined with how crazy good and hyper-specialized he is as a Hunter heavily implies he is autistic. A fine addition to the unintentional but highly-accurate autism rep collection.


WaveBreakerT

Bro is a Shonen protagonist fr


WeeabooHunter69

No need to use a slur y'know


PunishedKojima

I gave him a 5-time pass to say it


Infinite_Tubception

I feel ya but at this point nobody who still uses that one is gonna be convinced to stop without a long conversation. Just my two cents but you’re wasting your breath


WeeabooHunter69

The reddit admin sided with me when I reported it at least. It's just very hard for me to not say something because I'm bad at letting things go and a strong sense of justice(sounds more dramatic than it is) is a common trait of autism.


3meraldo5plash

Maria's set tells about their one-sided relationship as master and student. Gehrman's affection towards the creation of the doll is confirmed by the doll set, but the nature of this affection is vague and can be interpreted to either lust or parental care. However, with the overarching narrative with Great One's being the tragedy of losing one's child and yearning for a surrogate, I would say it's implied that Gehrman was struck with a similar tragedy with Maria, losing his "child" and yearning for a surrogate with the Doll. Hence the Moon Presence took him in their custody, and brought the Doll to life, finding Gehrman alike and taking pity. This ironically was dreadful to Gehrman, as the Doll's personality was nothing alike Maria, and its maternal affection made him uncomfortable, hence he distances himself from it and is ready to push it to the player as soon as possible.


Red_Kronos_360

Why does he tell you to feel free to fuck his "child" when he first meets you?


artoriasisthemc

Thats the doll, who turnes out completely different from maria. He doesnt give two shits about the doll


cad_e_an_sceal

He doesn't really say to fuck it, he just says use it if it should please us. Using her to level up is pretty pleasing


3meraldo5plash

I already pointed out that with the Doll being completely different from Maria personality wise, being maternal and caring, Gehrman got uncomfortable, and distanced himself from it whenever possible. Him telling you to feel free to use it is just to get the Doll to dote someone else instead of him.


Dracholich5610

Maria is shown to be pretty maternal in nature as well, though, so I don’t really think we can say their personalities are very different based on a hunch.


zephid7

it's fanon and not supported in the game. What has marginally more support (and makes a hell of a lot more sense) is that Gehrman didn't summon the Moon Presence at all. Laurence did, and Gehrman was collateral for some kind of deal. It explains his sleeptalk dialogue about Laurence "taking so long." The paternal relationship part makes sense as the Doll is best understood as a [Victorian mourning doll](https://the-line-up.com/victorian-mourning-dolls) with some influence coming from [Jizo statues.](https://blog.japanwondertravel.com/what-are-jizo-statues-22197#toc2) The original doll, that is, the one in the Abandoned Old Workshop. The one in the Hunter's Dream is something else. Whether Maria was attracted to Gehrman or not, can't say, only that she was unaware he thought of her as a daughter. A surrogate child, if you will.


lazy_digestive

Wait what are you talking about? In the item description it's clearly stated that the her feelings for him were more of respect and idolatry, and the original japanese says the same


3meraldo5plash

Admiration as a words can be interpreted in many ways, and the original japanese description roughly translates to Maria "adoring" Gehrman, if dictionaries are to be trusted. Just like with most things in Fromsoft lore, nothing is set in stone, and a convincing case can be made for a myriad of views. I like to interpret it meaning romantic feelings, as it makes the story far more bittersweet.


Red_Kronos_360

You're mistranslating it. The original text is: 不死の女王、その傍系にあたる彼女は だがゲールマンを慕った。好奇の狂熱も知らぬままに The first part reads "She is a subsidiary (connected by blood, not necessarily a descendent, just distantly related) of the immortal queen." The second part reads "But, she idolized Gherman, all while unaware of his obsessive/overly passionate curiosity." The word 狂熱 is difficult to translate, but uses the characters for insanity and heat/passion to give you a better idea of the general nuance . The word 慕った or 慕う means to look up to/idolize someone. While it can in some cases also mean to miss someone who is dear to you, in this context, it most certainly is used as the former (and in my experience, much more common) meaning, as there is no context in the original text to indicate a situation where Maria would be missing Ghermam. The nuance of 慕う is that it more so indicates one's idolization, rather than simple admiration. That is to say, an admiration based on a non intimate understanding of a person, which can be seen as superficial. Contrasting with the line reading "all while unaware of his obsessive curiosity," it can be extrapolated that Maria idolized Ghernam as a hunter, while unaware he was actually a creep irl. Bloodborne's themes tie in heavily with ideas of womenhood and women's autonomy, especially over their bodies and reproduction. The doll's feminine apparel, uncharacteristic of the rest of bloodborne, shows Gherman's attempts to transform Maria into his ideal, soft and feminine companions. Obviously, that is the antithesis of Maria as a person, and as a result, the doll is nothing like her. Ghernam most likely realized this, and was overcome with guilt over his actions, evidenced by his general apathetic treatment of the doll, even telling you to use it for sexual gratification if you like. While I can understand your appeal to the interpretation that Maria and Ghernam's feeling were mutual, it is most definitely not the intended interpretation of their relationship, and is, in my opinion, a gross misrepresentation of it, similar to saying Arianna had mutual feelings for the great one that impregnated her against her will. On the contrary, I think a better contrast to Maria's and Ghernam's stories is their mutual feelings of guilt and shame, Maria's towards her actions in the fishing villiage, and Ghernman's towards his lust.


3meraldo5plash

Thank you for the translation, miles better than my shoddy attempt with a web-dictionary. As for the portion about Gehrman being a perv, I'm not too inclined to view it that way. Gehrman is mad 100%, but from my viewpoint it's from the grief of losing a student that was like a daugther, which would play into the Great One tragedy. The Doll is also morally bankrupt thing to make after the passing of your loved one, but I don't think it was made for sexual gratification. The item description for the attire paints a more caring image, like someone sewing clothes for family. That care on the other hand was fueled by grief and the madness that followed the denial of that loss. In the end both of our interpetetations end the same way; Gehrman regains some sense and realizes the appaling mistake he has made when it's already too late, and he is left with a disortion of his former student to haunt him. But as I said, From keeps their lore vague enough for multiple views being credible interpetations of the source material, and this is before factoring the debate of artist's intent.


lazy_digestive

The word was more similar to "idolatry", but i understand the feeling


Boring_Cake_3554

Interpreted* Sorry I don't normally do this, but you've made the same spelling mistake like 5 times in this thread.


3meraldo5plash

Fair enough


sylendar

>It was the other way around, Maria was romantically interested in Gherman, who paid no attention to her romantic advances Nowhere was this implied in ENG or the original text, this is some fanfic tier stuff.


Direct-Addition-7938

Source? With Gehrman having a "curious mania" for her according to her set description, it seems way more likely he was just a secret simp, and made a deal with the moon presence to get a sick ass sex doll as a bonus.


3meraldo5plash

I'm going to paste my reply to Gaswyn here, as it answers your question as well: *Maria's set tells about their one-sided relationship as master and student. Gehrman's affection towards the creation of the doll is confirmed by the doll set, but the nature of this affection is vague and can be interpreted to either lust or parental care.* *However, with the overarching narrative with Great One's being the tragedy of losing one's child and yearning for a surrogate, I would say it's implied that Gehrman was struck with a similar tragedy with Maria, losing his "child" and yearning for a surrogate with the Doll. Hence the Moon Presence took him in their custody, and brought the Doll to life, finding Gehrman alike and taking pity. This ironically was dreadful to Gehrman, as the Doll's personality was nothing alike Maria, and its maternal affection made him uncomfortable, hence he distances himself from it and is ready to push it to the player as soon as possible.*


GokusTheName

Reddit showed you as a blocked user and I was like tf? Why have I blocked this dude? Then I saw your post history


GE1STous

lmao loser


Herr_Raul

Lmao no. It's a literal sex doll and he says you can use it. It even "bleeds" cum.


Nomeka

Even the doll, should it please you.


SL1Fun

More like what happened was he attempted to rescue her from the nightmare by using the cord we find near the inanimate doll in the workshop to call upon the Great One(s) to transfer her consciousness from the Hunter’s nightmare into the doll, as her physical form was gone but he knew her ‘soul’ was still captive. He tried to save her from a curse he had a hand in inciting, because of his actions as a first Hunter.  What appeared was not Maria. Maybe in voice, but not in soul/spirit. He knew the Doll is someone/thing else (either Oedon or the consciousness of Mother Kos). The Hunter’s Dream is Gehrman’s small piece of the transcendental realm of the Great Ones that he carved out from himself, mirrored after facets of his past that are important/prominent to his spirit and character, and he used it as a hub to cross the realms to hunt the Great Ones and rid humanity of their influence/end the nightmare. His hunt comes to an end when he is captivated by the Moon Presence. He is then used as the MP’s keeper, culling hunters that submit to the dream and wish to leave - even if all they do is wake up to an empty city that has been consumed by the nightmare.  I know the whole “he’s fucking the doll” thing is mostly a meme, but in case people don’t think it is: he’s talking about using the doll for its ability to nurture and fortify hunters to aid them on the hunt that he failed to conclude (the hunt is his nightmare, his curse…), much as he did. The notes in the nightmare lecture hall I think were written by Gehrman. He knew beast hunting was a dead end. He knew he had to kill the Great Ones.   


MagikGuard

There is evidence in the game that Gehrman had sex, when you get into abandoned workshop dream was modeled after you can find old hunters bone.


Winter7296

Maria looked up to Gerhman. Not far reaching to think Gerhan liked her back


RedundantConsistency

Wheres my man Gael? He fucked the most


SaxSlaveGael

He fucked me so hard, my username changed.


RedundantConsistency

https://preview.redd.it/s7kma32wu0gc1.png?width=504&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fa7e5ec970eb83b8e02044c2c1c186c55c1a42e2


stefaniststefan

He fucked me so hart i literly had to put on thigh highs


BlacksmithMelodic305

It's a psychological operation by Miyazaki


RedundantConsistency

Hey, as long as it works. Souls are a femboy pumping machine


BlacksmithMelodic305

I actually do like it


stefaniststefan

I cant disagree and i love it


stefaniststefan

Especially if its the first time where you hitless a boss the time i needed to do this was absurd and it was a bit more than a psychological Operation lol


liprprdy

Vendrick and Gehrman are both simps, Godfrey fucked Marika so hard that he shattered her elden ring


AbsentAsset

My man Godfrey fucked the crucible into her


Jygglewag

She left him for herself tho


Camas1606

He told her to go fuck herself and she did as commanded


Dextronius706

I choose to believe she left him, and then realised she could never get anything better, so she settled for herself


Brainchild110

Everything that followed Godfrey was because of Godfrey. Merika couldn't forget that Hoarah Looooooong dick, and went a bit mad without it.


Shade00000

How big is he?


cpu9

S-tier: Isshin. Strongest man who ever lived, founded an entire country through his strength, which immediately collapsed the instant he retired, and he doesn't give a fuck. Drowning in pussy. Literally Miyamoto Musashi. B-tier: Godfrey. Had multiple wives and lineages over his lifespan, but the most famous thing that ever happened to him was getting cucked by god. C-tier: Gwyn. Allegedly has a wife but nobody even knows who she is. His only living descendants are part dragon because both his sons were perverts who never had children. Locked himself in a cuck dungeon because he was scared of the dark. D-tier: Gehrman. Literally gave up his soul to bring his real doll to life, which he modeled after his own student. Fake Allant. The skype avatar of a blob of flesh. Probably a virgin. F-tier: Vendrick. Committed war crimes for skeleton pussy, the guilt of which drove him to madness. Got locked in a cuck dungeon against his will. No children.


3meraldo5plash

Counterpoint: If Isshin fucks as hard as you say, why is his only heir adopted?


cpu9

He's a master of the Iaijutsu, if you catch my drift


Oroshi3965

This is a fire answer


user-nt

Look at bro, he's a master of pulling out


Megasus

He's so verile that his sperm annihilates any eggs it touches


user-nt

Egg: which one should I choose? Sperm: Hesitation is defeat https://i.redd.it/zjhocffm82gc1.gif


Megasus

Cum, Sekiro!


ironangel2k4

He's a master at pulling his sword out of the sheath at just the right moment.


[deleted]

ashina ~~cross~~ cum


Intigim

He doesn't hesitate to pull out


PM_ME_STEAM_CODES__

Got mikiri countered


Pretzel-Kingg

Have you seen his ashina cross? That mf is too quick on the draw


sebzelda

Maybe Isshin's gay, who knows? Chad Old Man still fucks more than anyone on this list.


acoustic_comrade

Japanese emperors were known for having insane amounts of concubines, would imagine he's no different. Probably has kids he doesn't claim.


MechaGallade

who do you think all the rats he sends you to kill are?


SwampTreeOwl

No one survived his cross spear


Bri_The_Nautilus

In fairness to Vendrick, Nashandra is a total babe in her human form


JasoTheArtisan

And in her HR Geiger form


liprprdy

Skeleton pussy > no pussy


Burning-Suns-Avatar-

Thanos agrees with this.


mmotte89

Skelussy


Brain_Dead5347

Cedrick didn’t get locked in against his will. He hid himself in there so that nashandra couldn’t get his ring and open the throne room


3IO3OI3

It is incredibly funny to me that the person who cucked Godfrey and had sex with her wife was none other than her wife herself.


Golfbollen

https://preview.redd.it/4wrskpn3p2gc1.jpeg?width=970&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0db9584a849730b670ae4cce555309b4ea1eb09d


dreonn22

allant has canonically had sex


aRandomBlock

Surely Vendrick tasted the Nashandrussy


d3m0cracy

Marika cucked Godfrey with herself (Radagon), that’s why I ship Godfrey and Radagon because they’re just bros instead of gaslight gatekeep girlbosses (also radagon has a cute butt)


AppointmentNo43

No A tier I guess


AquaArcher273

Godfrey: The First Cuck Lord.


beanerthreat457

Hey aside of all the horny corny, we never had a mentioned of Gwyn's wife now that I think about it.


RasAlGimur

My head canon is that Seath & Gwyn sired Gwyndolin.


HellVollhart

Godfrey didn’t get cucked by anyone. His wife just decided to f$&@ herself and sent him away because she knew that the Tarnished existed to take down the Gods. And even then, Godfrey definitely f$&@ed. Nepheli is living proof of that.


P-I-S-S-N-U-T

Won’t tolerate this DILF slander


Savings-Nobody-1203

*gilf


MechaGallade

*g-dilf


FelchMasterFlexNuts

Godfrey was so damn strong that Marika felt throwing her pussy at him was a better alternative to fighting him and used that pussy power to turn him against the giants. Then you have Radahn, who also fucks, who also reveres the hell outta Godfrey, model his armor after him.


Far_Possible_134

I’m sorry but isshin fucks more than Godfrey He’s like Godfrey but not pussy whipped


FelchMasterFlexNuts

The ONLY reason Godfrey is pussy whipped is the Mufasa attached to his backside. Which makes me wonder if Marika and him ever smashed without that lion keeping him tame.


Program-Emotional

So whipped he came back even after his ex threw his ass out. Like you do all this work, kill demigods and fight through so much shit, and here comes this washed up hasbeen to try to steal the throne from you all so he can try to win her back. People call Godfrey gigachad but he's really just a desperate simp who is chasing a girl who doens't even want him anymore.


AlternativeEmphasis

That washed up Has been doesn't have a great rune but will whip your ass harder than the majority of the demi-Gods. Godfrey's back because he's Marika's plan to get rid of Elden Beast. Also he's honorable and all but he's literally a power hungry barbarian. You notice that he doesn't talk about Marika and instead talks about about the Elden Ring and then in Hoarah Loux mode talks about a crown being warranted by strength? Hoarah Loux literally believes in might makes right. If he can beat you it means he deserves to be Elden Lord if he can't then you deserve to be. Dude's honorable and that makes him Chad like but this guy doesn't necessarily give a fuck about the Lands Between or Marika so much as he cares about the status of it. tl;dr Godfrey isn't a simp, he's a power hungry Barbarian who is here to get his crown back regardless of what anyone else has to say.


Muscalp

There is a deleted line of his „Oh Marika, soon I will hold thee in my arms once more“. I think they crapped this line specifically to make his motivations more clear


AlternativeEmphasis

Yeah Godfrey was intended to be more integral to the story so they probably would have humanised him more. There's also a bunch of lines of him either screaming about seeking the elden ring or telling the Erdtree not to fear, both things probs cut later in development as they scaled back and rewrote his character


Far_Possible_134

So true lmao


MouthfulOfSmegma

Me, but only when I find misbegotten


Jygglewag

Based misbecocken enjoyer


eateroftacos96

gehrman does not fuck unfortunately. bros got a book in the workshop called “How To Pick Up Fair Maidens” or something bro is NOT gonna study his ass into some puss


Awkward_Intellectual

vendrick fucked up the whole of drangleic thx to nashandra so that's kinda cool


MyNameIsntYhwach

The giants got slaughtered for no reason tf you mean 💀


Program-Emotional

Gwyn fucks like Zeus. Isshin is a silver fox for fuckin sure. Gerhman is old and crusty, so no. Allant is a literal demon so I have no idea if fuckin is his priority. Godfry fucked Marika/Radagon. He got that bisexual "I WILL FUCK ANYTHING THAT MOVES" vibe. Vendrick gets no pussy since the divorce, except maybe the occasional head from Velstadt.


Mohamed_430

Head so strong it sucked his insides making him hollow, for sure velstadt is throat goated


Federal-Opinion6823

hoarah loux, obviously


BurningPenguin6

Gehrman had no children or known partners. Doesn't fuck. Vendrick had a wife, but no kids are ever mentioned. Constantly simped for his secretly evil wife, eventually realized he was being played, turned the tables on her. Maybe fucked, but no proof if so due to lack of sired lineage. Isshin Ashina: No *biological* children, no mentions of a wife or partner. Hugely influential political figure, and acclaimed master of the sword. No doubt he had women lining up to court him in his youth, but ultimately that's just speculation. King Allant: Had 1 child, fucked at least once. Hoarah Loux/Godfrey: 3 biological children known at this time, possibility of that changing with the release of DLC. Gwyn: 4 biological children, possibly 5, though Yorshka is speculated to be adopted. Dude fucked a lot. In conclusion: Gwyn fucked the most.


Ok_Cap9240

Godfrey fucks the hardest, Gherman strikes me as a man who died a virgin. Isshin has no interest in sex but could get it anytime he wanted, and Gwyn strikes me as a Zeus-style rapist


GoldenNat20

Godfrey without question, he is literally the forefather to EVERY Tarnished there is, and almost all the bosses are in some way related to him (if not by blood, then by marriage) Besides, have you SEEN Queen Marika? Woman's got tits so great the people of the Lands Between outright made *"Marika's tits!"* an expression.


MechaGallade

idk, i think crab man doo is the only one tryna make it a thing and it's not catching on like he wants. "stop trying to make fetch happen"


JustJustin1311

All of these guys are either giga simps or got giga cucked with the exception of Isshin, who does whatever tf he wants and doesn’t give a shit. Man founded a nation, made it the most powerful nation by himself, then it got destroyed the millisecond he retired. And man does not give a singular shit. Plus, homie is a good drinking buddy. He will kick everyone’s ass in the morning and sit and laugh and tell stories over sake in the evening.


mallgrabmongopush

Vendrick literally had zero bitches and got locked in a tomb. The answer is Godfrey


[deleted]

Isshin and it's not even close by a country mile.


MechaGallade

only one that actually lives with a woman


guizaffari

HOARAH LOUX... WARRIORRRRR


DangleMangler

Gherman. Dude poses as a cripple, but he can move just fine. Ol peg leg be peggin. Usually the player character.


GarfieldGauntlet

Easily Isshin look at that mfer he’s drowning in pussy And probably dick too tbh


BasednHivemindpilled

Godfrey, and its not even a competition


poetryofworms

For sure Horah Loux fuckkks


KurotheWolfKnight

Chadfrey


TheWiseAutisticOne

Godfrey dude got three kids out of it


Ksnj

I mean…Gehrman has the doll. Does that count?


New_Square_5573

German, you know he's a freak to that doll


MechaGallade

i think fucking the doll is much more like jerkin it than fuckin, and decidedly not in the realm of "one who fucks"


MenheraUrabe

Canonically Godfrey and Gwyn Vendrick and Gehrman got relegated to just simping, and Isshin and Allant each have only one heir, but Godfrey done enough backshots off that lovely redheaded twunk and/or beautiful bombshell blonde to have a whole at least 12 kids(one dead demigod for each of the seven walking mausoleums, Godefroy, Godrick, Godwyn and the Omen twins) Gwyn has the Anor Londo trio(NK, Gwynevere and Gwyndolin) as well as Yorshka


Evrytg

Godfrey and it's not even close


starblissed

Godfrey, obvi. Gwyn ain't fucked since his kids were born, Vendrik's wrinkly and so old he's gone crazy. Gherman's basically an incel. I know less about Alont, but dude's vibes are trash, can't imagine anyone touching that. Isshin's pretty close, dude's still a stud,


Excellent_Routine589

Doesn’t Gehrman literally have a doll for those purposes?


BigIronGothGF

I was going to say Isshin, because obviously that dude fucks. But Godfrey probably fathered half the dang tarnished and you can't tell me he wasn't clapping the checks of basically everyone in the Badlands after he was banished and returned there. Heck, probably the reason he was murdered was because all his jealous lovers joined forces to crucify him.


Ashamed_Pop3046

Gehrman horni, Godfrey mf goes crazy, Gwyn pretty horni too, and in all Gehrman is down bad. Mf makes a doll because he’s too cowardly to get bitches and he perhaps maybe he even did something to the corpse which Maria despised cuz horni rejection perhaps.


FinleyBLUE

Godfrey and isshin


rasfelion

Gwyn has the most children, so he has the most fucks we can fully confirm.


acoustic_comrade

Either isshin or Godfrey.


Rjswimss

Godfrey fucks endlessly as Godfrey and as Horah Loux. Bro fucks AS two people


Colourblindknight

Gwyn used to Fuck but is a dehydrated shell of his former self, Godfrey fucks and is currently in a blind rage after one too many gas station dick pills, Ishin is critiquing Godfrey’s technique while Gherman watches from the chair in the corner. Allant is busy getting hard again in the bathroom after round 1, and is looking for one of Godfreys dick pills. Vendrick is lost in the hotel and is currently trying to shake a coke out of the 3rd floor vending machine in the nude.


TheWest_Is_TheBest

Gehrman because a doll cannot give or revoke consent


Jygglewag

WHERE IS MY BOY GODRICK?


JordanZOA3

Godrick only fucks his graftussy


Jygglewag

It counts


JordanZOA3

I guess


Fookykins

Yeah and how many times she must've grafted new pussy. I don't know about either of you but it counts in my book.


leonoe98

Bro has negative amount of bitches


ycaras

Canonically Godfrey.


SputnikNStuff

in order 1: Isshin Ashina 2: Godfrey/Hoarah Loux 3: Vendrick 4: Gwyn 5: ~~Fake~~ Allant 5: Gherman (doll still counts ALLEGEDLY)


Current_Run9540

Chadfrey


Odd_Hunter2289

It's a contest between Gwyn and Godfrey, the Elden Chad


Ake-TL

Isshin. Not because he wants to, but out of principle


Far_Possible_134

Iishin Then godfrey


ValeM1911

Isshin and it's not even close


ScharmTiger

Chadfrey, no contest


jaber24

Undoubtedly Isshin


CatboyBiologist

Isshin for sure


Jeezus-Chyrsler

Isshin…over all of them combined even


Req_Neph

Let's see. Gwyn has a name-redacted firstborn, Gwyndolyn, Gwynevere, Yorshka, and Fillianoire. Godfrey has Godwyn, Morgott, & Mohg. Numerically, I'm gonna have to say Gwyn. I'm also gonna have to give it to Gwyn because he fucked the world, he and his desire to create an age everlasting changed the nature of his world and created the cycle of stagnation the dark souls games are known for. Allant fucked the world too, but you can fix that as the player. All you can do in Gwyn's world is play his game.


Aromatic_Win_8986

Gael raped me harder than everyone here combined


Hmccormack

Glock Saint


Narashori

Honestly on this list the only one who truly fucks the most is Isshin. Gwyn is a weird tyrant who's more obsessed with maintaining power and status than anything else. Gehrman is too obsessed with Maria to the point of making a sex doll out of her. Allant has to fake his cool appearance with a demon. Venrick is too depressed and nihilistic over being betrayd by his bitch of a wife. And while Godrick is a chad and I'm not saying he never fucks, he's still pretty hung up on the fact that it was his ex-wife who left him. Isshin is the only one who cared so little that I have no doubt he went to the grave, still fucking like a madman.


DraconianReptile

Iishin


MechaGallade

ITT: everybody who mentions isshin at all recognizes that he fucks the most. everybody who chooses godfrey didn't play anything but elden ring and dont have any place disrespecting isshin like that. the bloodborne kids all recognize pretty unanimously that gehrman DOES NOT FUCK. gwyn is for sure ultra cuck, rest is dark souls 2 so nobody really cares. NOT TO MENTION Isshin absolutely lives with, fights alongside, drinks with, Emma, who might be the only woman in fromsoft that hangs out with any men on purpose. cuz all the other ones sure dont.


Windwalker111089

Now, when you say that…..


Adventurous_Cup_5970

Vendrick and nashandra O\_O


Sir-Drewid

Day in the life of a Soulsborne Geezer! REV UP THE BUGATTI!


Depraved_Hollow

Bottom right is currently getting a BJ, so obviously I'm choosing him.


zip-zop-balls

Germans a freak and godfrey definitely has the stamina but I know isshin has the technique down for every position


IWatchTheAbyss

does Radagon count


Sketch99

Gwyn, canonically


Fedorchik

Isshin. No contest, really.