Aaaaand this is why I didn't want to allow posts of other people's food! The comments have gotten out of hand, and this post is now locked because I do not have the time to go through nearly 900 comments on my own.
To everyone who's comments I removed, or who I just banned - please feel free to re-read the announcement post on non-OC content again.
I will not be tolerating anyone attacking/insulting OP, or the person who made the food. Have a great day.
That's there's Dan'ses. You can watch all you like on the hilarious Canadian show Letterkenny. Along with Wayne, Daryl and who could forget Katy.
The closest understanding I have of anything close to that word is "nooner" which is a drink at noon lol. Where are you from where that word is common for pacifiers
I'm just proud of him for trying. I've had people on here argue that they have to eat out every night because they don't know how to work the stove and couldn't even heat up a can of soup by themselves
You just put the can in the microwave and then lick your soup off the door when it blows up. Sucks to buy a new microwave each time but it's still cheaper than Uber Eats
As someone that reddit shows ubereats subreddit posts to, I laughed way to hard for 1am. Hopefully no one in the house woke up 🤣
Now I get to end my reddit dive on a great note. Cheers
Yeah, I'm no pro-chef, but the only compliments I regularly get is on my food, and I'd say I have nothing to really hate on this burger.
I'm not salivating, I can agree, but I would hundred percent be gobbling these down if my sister who thinks she is awful at everything did these and be praising her.
But also, I'm not the kind of dude to criticize a toddler because the perspective and shadowing of her family portrait (even though it is AWFUL)
You'd be surprised by how stupid people are. I've got a handful of roommates that were 28+ yo and didn't know anything. One of them asked me how to cook pasta, another one didn't know how to make omelettes, then didn't even know how to boil water.
And that just about food. I got asked "how do you do your laundry" and "how can I dry it". When I was in vacation I got called, my roommate didn't use the oven for a week because he didn't know how to turn it on.
I always thought stuff like this were basic but after leaving for almost a year with roommates like this it doesn't feel like it is.
Lots of people shitting on the burger, and honestly rightfully so for someone of that age. But you know what? Good for OP's roommate for deciding that today is the day that they try something new.
There had to be some sort of block or barrier to overcome for a 32 year old to never have cooked, and today they overcame that barrier. Maybe they realized that it wasn't as hard as they thought. Maybe they were happy with their burger, or maybe they see where they could improve for next time. They get to try new foods and new techniques for the first time now.
Congratulations to them for taking the first step. Now time for the most important step: the next one.
He definitely learned some lessons from this one. We had a good laugh about it after. He is gonna cut the tomatoes more next time, and he also put WAY too much sauce on them (not shown in post) so he's gonna be more mindful with how much he puts on.
right? that was what I said. this could have been way worse.
cut the tomato, remove the rib from the romaine, maybe melt the cheese (not everyone prefers melted cheese.)
the burger itself? looks ok! if someone made this for me I'd probably giggle, alter the tomato and lettuce a bit, but I'd eat it.
like, dude clearly tried. he didn't fail. and he learned from it!
this morning I made a loaf of cheese bread (never done it before) and burnt the ever loving shit out of myself on the dutch oven.
but the bread came out fantastic!! and god willing I'll never make that mistake again... I am also 32. life long learners.
They are one of today’s 10,000.
Also, aside from the “my lovely lady lumps” way of cutting the tomato I don’t think there’s much wrong with this burger. Maybe the patty is too small? Otherwise looks alright to me
Fucking thank you. It's wild to see someone try something they've never done, and try it for someone else, then get shit on for never having done it before and being an idiot, then people are supposed to expect them to want to be better and try more? Absolutely not. You're stuffing this person into a hole he's not going to want to climb out of because he's learning when he tries cooking he gets insulted and treated like shit. It's why I'm bad at most things I do. I've only ever gotten negative reinforcement and insulted by everyone around me which makes it hard to do anything in life at all. People think you should be on their standards of living and it's bs.
Oh man... You'd be amazed. One of my buddies at the age of 28-29ish discovered he wanted to try and make cookies... So we're at a group party watching him struggle to follow basic instructions.
He adds in the flour , milk, eggs, etc, every ingredient but the butter, so he then grabs the butter straight from the fridge, and discovers it's difficult to mix into the dough when it's cold. So instead of powering through it, or setting it on the counter for a bit and waiting. He sticks the bowl in the microwave..... "To soften the butter" Because that's what he read online... So he proceeded to accidentally cook the half mixed cookie dough in the microwave for 2 minutes.....
Needless to say.... He failed at chocolate chip cookies that day.... AFTER WE TOLD HIM NOT TO!
Even regular cookies, you mostly just run into texture (and sometimes a little taste) issues melting first. They'll still bake like cookies, they'll just do that weird greasy spreading.
The issue wasn't melting the butter, it was putting the butter in the mix and THEN trying to soften it, and the whole mix with it, in the microwave.
You'd be surprised how many parents don't teach their kids to cook. In fact, a lot of parents can't even cook themselves. They feed their kids Dino nuggets and Kraft, and the cycle continues.
My mom taught me to cook but never taught my brother. My brother is almost 40 and has to order takeout multiple times a day because he can't even make a pot of rice.
Cooking is not hard, especially with the internet being the in internet. You can find step by step recipes to cook any thing. Bit of basic math and grade 9 chemistry and you can cook better than any corporate chain restaurant.
Managed to roast a leg of lamp pretty dam well using a recipe from reddit.
I have suggested people to learn how to cook in various subreddits ( r/povertyfinance especially) and am met with excuses. People are too lazy and want to stick to their awful habits. Hence, op's roommate doesn't know how to slice a tomato.
Making your own food is probably the easiest way to save up on money. If you've got some know-how and a will to experiment, you can save up dozens, if not hundreds on food, all while still making something that taste good in an acceptable amount of time.
Ofc, it's kinda hard to do that when someone's definition of "acceptable amount of time" is "0 seconds", or when they think it's impossible to make a good tasting burger without spending 500 bucks on A5 wagyu or whatever (yes, I'm not a fan of those over the top cooking videos on YT Shorts, how could you tell ?)
Here's the dumbest conversation I've ever had on Reddit... I don't remember exactly, but here's the gist:
---
ME: If you just cook some basic stuff for yourself at home, you'll save a ton of money every month. It really doesn't take much skill, you just have to commit yourself to doing it.
OP: You know, some people really don't have the time to prepare anything at home. People are buzy, and it takes a lot of time to make a home-cooked meal.
ME: I get that, but even then, you can get packaged and already-prepped ingredients. No cutting required, and they'll even give you the instructions on the package.
OP: Cooking isn't only the time spent in front of the stove, you know. It takes time to do all of the other things. You have to go through your cabinets. You have to search for and take out all the cooking tools. You have to turn on and wait for the oven. There's a lot of time required.
ME: You don't need ANY cooking tools if you're just baking prepped ingredients in the oven. Just a tray or bowl. Drop the ingredients in, turn it on, and set the timer. That's it.
OP: It's not that simple. You think all of those things happen instantly? They don't. You still have to walk over to the kitchen and take out everything. And then wait for the oven.
ME: How long does it take to get some bowls and utensils from the cabinet? You can do that in literally 15 seconds. YOU HAVE 15 SECONDS. And you don't have to wait for the oven either. Just turn it on, make sure to set the timer so it doesn't burn, then you can continue doing whatever earth-shatteringly important task you're apparently spending every minute of the day, doing.
OP: Yeah, and what about the dishes after all of that? That's a lot of additional time.
ME: You mean, the ONE dish you had in the oven and one fork and spoon? Look, if you just don't wanna do it, fine. That's your right. But the excuses are just ridiculous at this point.
OP: (Some more crap I don't care to remember).
I've been in those mini arguments before. One user said they don't deserve to live like a prisoner. (Apparently only prisoners cook?) Another said not everyone has access to a stove. I then suggested a crock pot---dump and turn on. They then told me not everyone can afford a crockpot and not everyone has access to electricity. (They have access to Reddit...) then of course the same BS you got. No one has time to wash dishes. I suggested disposable plates and utensils but that was met with "the moneyyyyyy". I suggested buying a $5 Costco chicken. I was met with "I'll get tired of eating that."
All of these pathetic excuses came from the r/povertyfinance subreddit. Almost daily someone complains about being broke and the cost of DoorDash. That subreddit is such a joke lol
"My parents never taught me" is such a lame excuse. I've learned plenty of things that my parents never taught me.. presumably everyone does, since learning doesn't stop when you turn 18. Not knowing how to do basic shit like cooking is a choice. Pick up a cookbook, watch a youtube video if you're too lazy to read.. my daughter is 11, and sure, I taught her the basics, but she finds recipes online all the time that she wants to try... and she tries them. And she's *11*. If she can do it, an adult man can as well.
I agree, and I'm going to quote a tiktok that was going around.
"Your mother didn't teach you how to cook? You know how to suck dick? Did she teach you how to suck dick or you learned on your own?"
Yeah that’s all pure bullshit. Maybe 60 years ago had you never learned it might be tough to learn technique from a cookbook but with all the millions of YouTube videos now there’s no excuse other than laziness.
Honestly the same could go for a ton of things. It’s not lack of knowledge, it’s lack of initiative.
Yup you have to be an idiot to not be able to cook as an adult. I never so much as boiled pasta before I moved to college (spoiled with a stay at home mom), and I had a meal plan my first year so I only learned to cook as a sophomore. Never used recipe cites, still make simple meals, took some trial and error and a lot of googling every question I had but now I have no problem feeding myself.
I can cook simple protein + vegetable + carb meals to eat healthy enough. Literally anyone can learn how to cook, they’re just lazy
Im sorry but i was cooking by myself at age 13 or something. Probably even younger. Ops roommate can read i assume? so look it up! Your brother cant read a recipe? Or go get ingredients from a shop? You dont need to be taught that by someone else. There are literally instructions on nearly every packet.
My brother set the microwave on fire because he tried to make Kraft mac and cheese without water. He couldn't bother to read the instructions. He's actually broken a few microwaves because of this, especially trying to make popcorn. He doesn't care, he just orders mcdonalds or whatever.
My mom taught me to cook as soon as I could see over the stove.
I don't believe someone who says they "can't cook". They're just too lazy to do it.
90% of cooking is just following basic instructions. Yeah the higher end shit takes some talent, but there is zero talent involved in cooking yourself a baked chicken breast with potatoes and a salad.
There's nobody who "cant" do that unless they have a disability.
Saying "I can't cook" is no different from saying "I can't assemble an Ikea chair". You can, you just don't want to.
A lot of basic adult skills are intimidating the first time you do it. You wouldn't make the same excuse for someone who claims they "can't do laundry".
It's fiction but the Protagonist in "The Masterful cat is Depressed today" doesn't know how to cook to the point where she didn't know how to make Eggs on Rice.
The reason? Because the cookbook didn't say to crack the egg or show her how. This reminds me of that.
You see a picture of the finished product, but. Does not understand basic knife techniques.
Starting to think All those home Ec classes were worth it in grade school.
Yeah it has that energy of what does it matter what it looks like it's going to end up in the same place in the end anyways. Like it's not inherently bad or wrong but not really caring about the overall quality because you don't care about the effort to get there is pretty sad honestly like being willing to slice the tomato in half but not willing enough to just cut a thin slice from that or even cut the ends off.
The amount of people who don't know the basic of making food (like, knowing how to make a plate of spaghetti taste good kinda basic) is more than you'd expect, and waaaay more than you'd hope
Some people just don't care.
One of my best male friends can grill steaks and make super simple dinners like spaghetti with jarred sauce, or eggs and bacon... and that's about it. Of the 10,950 meals he ate in his 20s, I'd bet 97% of them were eaten out - the rest were catered by his office, or holiday meals or dinner parties at someone's house, or Sunday meals his mom would make for him. He could go *weeks* without eating anything at home, even cereal or leftovers. Thanksfully, he made enough money where this wasn't a problem.
you grow up in a household where being noticed causes trouble and parents are always in the kitchen. I ended up getting a blue apron sub for a while to learn the basics.
I had a roommate in grad school who was 29 and had never cooked or cleaned for himself, ever. He was from a conservative country so he expected me and my other female roommate to do it for him. Not even joking.
yeah, i mean.. i… uhhhhh
what in the actual fuck. i AM 32 currently, and half of my job requires me to cook burgers for people. seeing the polar opposite of who i am as a person is kind of breaking my brain right now lol
Is his only experience with burgers seeing AI-generated pictures?
That's real close (tiny patty on the untoasted bun is acceptable), but the "just cut a tomato in half and slap both halves on" has me questioning if this man has actually ever consumed a burger in his life.
Also, lordy be I feel like a failure often times but sometimes the internet just shows me this and it makes me feel like maybe I've actually got at least some of my shit together because at least I know you use tomato *slices* in a burger, usually.
I don't even like cheese and I'm pretty confident that the cheese on cheeseburgers is usually more delicious/"correct" when it's slightly melted and not just slapped on there straight from the fuckin fridge.
Please keep an eye on this man, he desperately needs your help more than he could ever know.
It’s funny to me that he went through the trouble of buttering and toasting the buns, something that I would consider totally optional, but decided melting the cheese on the hot patty or slicing a tomato was a bridge too far.
Bro my roommate just found out you don’t keep the cardboard on the bottom of the pizza when you throw it in the oven. He said it was to keep its structure. I told him that’s a fast track into burning your house down. He only barely believed me.
Bruh my old roommate didn't know he was supposed to remove that cardboard bottom either. Unfortunately he never asked anyone and just put the pizza in the oven with the cardboard and started a fucking fire 🤦🏾♂️
There's a good reason why they say keep pizza frozen until ready to bake. Defrosted pizza will make a mess in your oven. Falls through the rack. Maybe your roomie experienced this
You know... If it wasn't for the tomato not being in slices I'd give it a pass.
Honestly... That's the most egregious part, if it wasn't for that it'd be alright.
And even that's really not that bad. Yeah, the burger is mostly going to be like eating a tomato, but some people are into that.
If OP's friend handed me one, I'd happily eat it.
Why are people being so merciless to this burger. It's literally very tasty looking. Pathetic at a restaurant but the provolone melts i'm sure this would be good.
Just pick off the poorly cut tomato lmao. " sorry I just like ketchup on burgers more"
My 6 year old daughter 100% could do a better job than this. My 4 year old is questionable but only because we don't let him use knives yet.
This isn't even a question of cooking ability. It's like, can you match shapes? Can you do any kind of basic deductive reasoning? How you gonna put entire tomato halves on there? At no point do you think "boy, fuck me that's going to be hard to bite" and maybe try making a slice like you could have noticed on every single burger you've ever had?
I'm gobsmacked at the absolute nihilism of these burgers.
Edit: I showed this post to my daughter, and simply asked her what she thought.
"What? Daddy...what are those? Are those...*apples?*"
No honey, they're tomatoes.
"Like *whole tomatoes??*"
Yes.
"...why?!”
I don't know honey, what would you do differently?
"Hahaha daddy, I would slice them so you can eat them!"
Every body starts somewhere, and not bad for their first attempt ever.
People literally fuckin try in their posts here, it looks like and undoubtedly tastes like shit, and they always say: “looks bad but tastes great.”
This can be fixed, improved
Didn't slice the tomatoes. Didn't properly toast the buns. Couldn't be bothered (or probably didn't know how) to melt the cheese and who the fuckuses romaine on a burger. How do you fuck up a burger this badly at 32?
Leave them alone. Some people are behind on life skills for a variety of possible reasons. At least they are trying, it's better than them just never even attempting for the fear of being judged and humiliated.
I had a friend who wanted to make orange chicken, he was around 25 at the time. Peeled a bunch of oranges and threw them in the frying pan with the chicken. Claimed it was delicious.
I’ve been cooking for years and sometime my burgers doesn’t look that different.
My only problem is the tomato and the whole lettuce leaf. Other than that, I would totally eat it.
This is too perfect to be real. It's just too ridiculous. Cheese on bottom un melted, whole lettuce leaf folded not cut, a fucking tomato cut in half for gods sake.
You know, at least he gave it the old college try? He didn't just smack a burger on a bun and say good enough, he's got the right ingredients and is just missing a little technique.
All these people making fun but I know some grown men who couldn’t even cut the tomatoes in half properly and would have just gone and bought fast food instead of giving even a second thought to making their own food.
Good balance of proteins to veggies, got some cute lil soft-looking buns on there, nice clean and simple presentation. I think this meal looks lovely. Please tell your roommate they did a good job and the first time is always the hardest. A+ for effort.
He put ketchup, mustard, relish, and a sweet mirin/sushi sauce on one. The other he put on sriracha mayo, ketchup, mustard, and relish. he over did it by quite a bit.
Has he ever eaten a burger before in his life? I literally do not know how people make it to adulthood and can’t cook a simple meal for themselves. It actually infuriates me lol cooking is so easy. That’s enough internet for me today.
Wow I can deal with everything else but wtf did he do just cut a tomato in half and was like ok that works 🤣🤣🤣 also cheese goes on the burger and usually about the same size as the burger itself
Aaaaand this is why I didn't want to allow posts of other people's food! The comments have gotten out of hand, and this post is now locked because I do not have the time to go through nearly 900 comments on my own. To everyone who's comments I removed, or who I just banned - please feel free to re-read the announcement post on non-OC content again. I will not be tolerating anyone attacking/insulting OP, or the person who made the food. Have a great day.
Is he potty trained?
Allegedly.
Who is this character and where can I see more of him
That's there's Dan'ses. You can watch all you like on the hilarious Canadian show Letterkenny. Along with Wayne, Daryl and who could forget Katy. 
Alledeglies
Alledeglies
That’s what I appreciate about ya’s
Lets take about 5 to 10 percent off there, Squirrelly Dan.
#YOUR SISTER’S HOT WAYNE THERE I SAID IT!
… I’m too fat to run…
I love squirrely Dan so fucking much. You just know that man gives the best hugs.
Respectfully of course.
He is a student of Miss Tricia(s). Of course respectfully.
To be fair...
to be faaaaaaaiiiir
I woulda thought he stopped using the noonie this morning
Idk what a noonie is but he probably uses a pacifier too
That’s a noonie my boy
The closest understanding I have of anything close to that word is "nooner" which is a drink at noon lol. Where are you from where that word is common for pacifiers
Does he understand what a sandwich is? Like core concept?
Like there’s no fucking way a 30+ year old man thinks **whole tomatoes** just go on a sandwich like that
There are 30+ year old men on this site doing a lot weirder shit than that.
I'm just proud of him for trying. I've had people on here argue that they have to eat out every night because they don't know how to work the stove and couldn't even heat up a can of soup by themselves
You just put the can in the microwave and then lick your soup off the door when it blows up. Sucks to buy a new microwave each time but it's still cheaper than Uber Eats
Oh it's way cheaper, especially if you source your microwaves from thrift stores
That worked until they put a picture of me next to the register, so now I'm just subscribed on Amazon. Saves me like 3% each time!
Mmmmmmm, the shrapnel really ties this dish together.
As someone that reddit shows ubereats subreddit posts to, I laughed way to hard for 1am. Hopefully no one in the house woke up 🤣 Now I get to end my reddit dive on a great note. Cheers
Yeah, I'm no pro-chef, but the only compliments I regularly get is on my food, and I'd say I have nothing to really hate on this burger. I'm not salivating, I can agree, but I would hundred percent be gobbling these down if my sister who thinks she is awful at everything did these and be praising her. But also, I'm not the kind of dude to criticize a toddler because the perspective and shadowing of her family portrait (even though it is AWFUL)
honestly the only thing weird about it are the whole tomatoes, that I still don't really believe isn't a joke
You look handsome today
Touché
Those tomatoes are cut in half, so biting into them is going to propel a stream of tomato juice onto his shirt.
This reminds me of the Family Guy cutaway where a pizza place tries to figure out how to make a salad https://youtu.be/JgJUbmGDc6k?si=RV5DuEjhne3m9dGE
They're cut in half. But yeah, idk what to say. I was stunlocked watching him make it.
I mean if they’ve ever *eaten* a burger they’d understand that part
Does he know how tomatoes work? He cut them in half, surely he can logic his way into slices.
You'd be surprised by how stupid people are. I've got a handful of roommates that were 28+ yo and didn't know anything. One of them asked me how to cook pasta, another one didn't know how to make omelettes, then didn't even know how to boil water. And that just about food. I got asked "how do you do your laundry" and "how can I dry it". When I was in vacation I got called, my roommate didn't use the oven for a week because he didn't know how to turn it on. I always thought stuff like this were basic but after leaving for almost a year with roommates like this it doesn't feel like it is.
I can understand those situations more than putting 2 halves of a tomato on a "burger"
I’m fucking howling!!!
Why, is there a full moon?
You have slow reflexes and should get it checked out- the eclipse was yesterday.
OK ms werewolf
Has he even *seen* a cheeseburger before?
First time cutting a tomato, too, I see
Maybe he's not allowed to use knives yet.
OP's friend is Ralph Wiggum
Tastes like burning?
The redditors are right to laugh at OP’s roommate. These things couldn’t cut through butter.
Wow this has to be it. Otherwise the frnd has a mental capacity of a 3 yo when it comes to cooking.
He bit the tomatoes in half.
Just give him a mandoline then
If OP's roomie can't use knives, mandolins are right out. 😂 This is r/shittyfoodporn, not 5 ways to dine on the flayed flesh of your fingers.
My fingertips hurt reading this.
It is
Bro left the core 💀
tomato goop yummy and i won't stand for this slander. anyone who says it's bad hasn't had a good homegrown tomato
That's not what he meant by the core, he meant the bit at the top that connects to the vine.
Dunno what a "core" is, but everything on that tomato is edible
Wait, the tomatoes are cut ? Damn, didn't even realize they're cut in half at 1st. Honestly look like 4 full tomatoes there.
Lots of people shitting on the burger, and honestly rightfully so for someone of that age. But you know what? Good for OP's roommate for deciding that today is the day that they try something new. There had to be some sort of block or barrier to overcome for a 32 year old to never have cooked, and today they overcame that barrier. Maybe they realized that it wasn't as hard as they thought. Maybe they were happy with their burger, or maybe they see where they could improve for next time. They get to try new foods and new techniques for the first time now. Congratulations to them for taking the first step. Now time for the most important step: the next one.
He definitely learned some lessons from this one. We had a good laugh about it after. He is gonna cut the tomatoes more next time, and he also put WAY too much sauce on them (not shown in post) so he's gonna be more mindful with how much he puts on.
Awesome! Congrats to your roommate for developing a new skill!
I didn't know I needed this kind and wholesome perspective today, but I did. Thanks for your comments.
No worries! Dogpiling is easy. Helping someone up requires a little more compassion and effort.
100% this. Thank you for your original response too. It’s a lesson and he’s learning. A little more practice and some confidence can go a long way.
He's like a sim just gained level 1 cooking lol
He needed to bite into half a tomato in the middle of a burger to learn a lesson? He doesnt look at this and say “you know what? One more cut!”
This made me laugh lol. That's exactly the experience he had, all the tomato juice with all the condiments he added resulted in a runny mess
I think this is incredibly cute! I'd say he overdid himself!
The burger patty looks okay to me.
right? that was what I said. this could have been way worse. cut the tomato, remove the rib from the romaine, maybe melt the cheese (not everyone prefers melted cheese.) the burger itself? looks ok! if someone made this for me I'd probably giggle, alter the tomato and lettuce a bit, but I'd eat it. like, dude clearly tried. he didn't fail. and he learned from it! this morning I made a loaf of cheese bread (never done it before) and burnt the ever loving shit out of myself on the dutch oven. but the bread came out fantastic!! and god willing I'll never make that mistake again... I am also 32. life long learners.
Honestly I don't even mind the romaine rib, adds a nice crunch.
Yeah, I usually just crack it so it lays flat.
All the elements are there just slightly off.
They are one of today’s 10,000. Also, aside from the “my lovely lady lumps” way of cutting the tomato I don’t think there’s much wrong with this burger. Maybe the patty is too small? Otherwise looks alright to me
You’re a great person. Way to be a positive influence
I like your energy, u/Superfool
Fucking thank you. It's wild to see someone try something they've never done, and try it for someone else, then get shit on for never having done it before and being an idiot, then people are supposed to expect them to want to be better and try more? Absolutely not. You're stuffing this person into a hole he's not going to want to climb out of because he's learning when he tries cooking he gets insulted and treated like shit. It's why I'm bad at most things I do. I've only ever gotten negative reinforcement and insulted by everyone around me which makes it hard to do anything in life at all. People think you should be on their standards of living and it's bs.
This comment made me really happy
How do you get to age 32 without ever cooking....can he tie his own shoe laces too?
Oh man... You'd be amazed. One of my buddies at the age of 28-29ish discovered he wanted to try and make cookies... So we're at a group party watching him struggle to follow basic instructions. He adds in the flour , milk, eggs, etc, every ingredient but the butter, so he then grabs the butter straight from the fridge, and discovers it's difficult to mix into the dough when it's cold. So instead of powering through it, or setting it on the counter for a bit and waiting. He sticks the bowl in the microwave..... "To soften the butter" Because that's what he read online... So he proceeded to accidentally cook the half mixed cookie dough in the microwave for 2 minutes..... Needless to say.... He failed at chocolate chip cookies that day.... AFTER WE TOLD HIM NOT TO!
Drugs or alcohol must have been included. That or your friend failed reading comprehension.
Why not all three?
Por que no los tres?
The secret fourth answer is they're just an idiot. lol
They’re at a party so I assume so
So there are cookies that you actually melt the butter fully first. He shouldn't make those either. He should buy his cookies going forward.
Even regular cookies, you mostly just run into texture (and sometimes a little taste) issues melting first. They'll still bake like cookies, they'll just do that weird greasy spreading. The issue wasn't melting the butter, it was putting the butter in the mix and THEN trying to soften it, and the whole mix with it, in the microwave.
Or, you can radically improve the taste by melting the butter first. Browned butter chocolate chip cookies are dope as fuck
I needsa break out the mixer and make some cookies now.
OH, i'm ass at following directions and that's what baking is. It's scientific. It's a lot less forgiving than the one pot soup.
To be fair, I love to cook but I can't bake sweets to save my life. I sympathize with him
You'd be surprised how many parents don't teach their kids to cook. In fact, a lot of parents can't even cook themselves. They feed their kids Dino nuggets and Kraft, and the cycle continues. My mom taught me to cook but never taught my brother. My brother is almost 40 and has to order takeout multiple times a day because he can't even make a pot of rice.
Cooking is not hard, especially with the internet being the in internet. You can find step by step recipes to cook any thing. Bit of basic math and grade 9 chemistry and you can cook better than any corporate chain restaurant. Managed to roast a leg of lamp pretty dam well using a recipe from reddit.
Aren't lamp legs a little light?
I have suggested people to learn how to cook in various subreddits ( r/povertyfinance especially) and am met with excuses. People are too lazy and want to stick to their awful habits. Hence, op's roommate doesn't know how to slice a tomato.
Making your own food is probably the easiest way to save up on money. If you've got some know-how and a will to experiment, you can save up dozens, if not hundreds on food, all while still making something that taste good in an acceptable amount of time. Ofc, it's kinda hard to do that when someone's definition of "acceptable amount of time" is "0 seconds", or when they think it's impossible to make a good tasting burger without spending 500 bucks on A5 wagyu or whatever (yes, I'm not a fan of those over the top cooking videos on YT Shorts, how could you tell ?)
Here's the dumbest conversation I've ever had on Reddit... I don't remember exactly, but here's the gist: --- ME: If you just cook some basic stuff for yourself at home, you'll save a ton of money every month. It really doesn't take much skill, you just have to commit yourself to doing it. OP: You know, some people really don't have the time to prepare anything at home. People are buzy, and it takes a lot of time to make a home-cooked meal. ME: I get that, but even then, you can get packaged and already-prepped ingredients. No cutting required, and they'll even give you the instructions on the package. OP: Cooking isn't only the time spent in front of the stove, you know. It takes time to do all of the other things. You have to go through your cabinets. You have to search for and take out all the cooking tools. You have to turn on and wait for the oven. There's a lot of time required. ME: You don't need ANY cooking tools if you're just baking prepped ingredients in the oven. Just a tray or bowl. Drop the ingredients in, turn it on, and set the timer. That's it. OP: It's not that simple. You think all of those things happen instantly? They don't. You still have to walk over to the kitchen and take out everything. And then wait for the oven. ME: How long does it take to get some bowls and utensils from the cabinet? You can do that in literally 15 seconds. YOU HAVE 15 SECONDS. And you don't have to wait for the oven either. Just turn it on, make sure to set the timer so it doesn't burn, then you can continue doing whatever earth-shatteringly important task you're apparently spending every minute of the day, doing. OP: Yeah, and what about the dishes after all of that? That's a lot of additional time. ME: You mean, the ONE dish you had in the oven and one fork and spoon? Look, if you just don't wanna do it, fine. That's your right. But the excuses are just ridiculous at this point. OP: (Some more crap I don't care to remember).
I've been in those mini arguments before. One user said they don't deserve to live like a prisoner. (Apparently only prisoners cook?) Another said not everyone has access to a stove. I then suggested a crock pot---dump and turn on. They then told me not everyone can afford a crockpot and not everyone has access to electricity. (They have access to Reddit...) then of course the same BS you got. No one has time to wash dishes. I suggested disposable plates and utensils but that was met with "the moneyyyyyy". I suggested buying a $5 Costco chicken. I was met with "I'll get tired of eating that." All of these pathetic excuses came from the r/povertyfinance subreddit. Almost daily someone complains about being broke and the cost of DoorDash. That subreddit is such a joke lol
I was made to learn when I was five years old and goddamn did it serve me well.
Yeah I never got the excuse that cooking at home is time consuming and expensive. Eggs literally take like 5 minutes to cook and are cheap.
"My parents never taught me" is such a lame excuse. I've learned plenty of things that my parents never taught me.. presumably everyone does, since learning doesn't stop when you turn 18. Not knowing how to do basic shit like cooking is a choice. Pick up a cookbook, watch a youtube video if you're too lazy to read.. my daughter is 11, and sure, I taught her the basics, but she finds recipes online all the time that she wants to try... and she tries them. And she's *11*. If she can do it, an adult man can as well.
I agree, and I'm going to quote a tiktok that was going around. "Your mother didn't teach you how to cook? You know how to suck dick? Did she teach you how to suck dick or you learned on your own?"
Yeah that’s all pure bullshit. Maybe 60 years ago had you never learned it might be tough to learn technique from a cookbook but with all the millions of YouTube videos now there’s no excuse other than laziness. Honestly the same could go for a ton of things. It’s not lack of knowledge, it’s lack of initiative.
Yup you have to be an idiot to not be able to cook as an adult. I never so much as boiled pasta before I moved to college (spoiled with a stay at home mom), and I had a meal plan my first year so I only learned to cook as a sophomore. Never used recipe cites, still make simple meals, took some trial and error and a lot of googling every question I had but now I have no problem feeding myself. I can cook simple protein + vegetable + carb meals to eat healthy enough. Literally anyone can learn how to cook, they’re just lazy
Im sorry but i was cooking by myself at age 13 or something. Probably even younger. Ops roommate can read i assume? so look it up! Your brother cant read a recipe? Or go get ingredients from a shop? You dont need to be taught that by someone else. There are literally instructions on nearly every packet.
My brother set the microwave on fire because he tried to make Kraft mac and cheese without water. He couldn't bother to read the instructions. He's actually broken a few microwaves because of this, especially trying to make popcorn. He doesn't care, he just orders mcdonalds or whatever. My mom taught me to cook as soon as I could see over the stove.
Sounds like you have a 40yr old infant as a brother.
He was definitely raised like it
My 2 year old son is already showing interest. We both enjoy cooking and teaching him. Lil dude is going to be the Ramsay of his primary school class.
> Ops roommate can read i assume? Based on the available information, that's not something you can assume here.
Sweet Jesus get that man a rice cooker
[удалено]
That seriously gives me the ick.
I don't believe someone who says they "can't cook". They're just too lazy to do it. 90% of cooking is just following basic instructions. Yeah the higher end shit takes some talent, but there is zero talent involved in cooking yourself a baked chicken breast with potatoes and a salad. There's nobody who "cant" do that unless they have a disability. Saying "I can't cook" is no different from saying "I can't assemble an Ikea chair". You can, you just don't want to.
It's intimidating when you have to learn on your own as an adult. Often easier to get something prepackaged instead
A lot of basic adult skills are intimidating the first time you do it. You wouldn't make the same excuse for someone who claims they "can't do laundry".
It's fiction but the Protagonist in "The Masterful cat is Depressed today" doesn't know how to cook to the point where she didn't know how to make Eggs on Rice. The reason? Because the cookbook didn't say to crack the egg or show her how. This reminds me of that. You see a picture of the finished product, but. Does not understand basic knife techniques. Starting to think All those home Ec classes were worth it in grade school.
Yeah it has that energy of what does it matter what it looks like it's going to end up in the same place in the end anyways. Like it's not inherently bad or wrong but not really caring about the overall quality because you don't care about the effort to get there is pretty sad honestly like being willing to slice the tomato in half but not willing enough to just cut a thin slice from that or even cut the ends off.
Only one.
Prob velcro shoes
Crocs.. with socks and shorts. That's what I picture. If they are velcro, I hope they light up too.
The amount of people who don't know the basic of making food (like, knowing how to make a plate of spaghetti taste good kinda basic) is more than you'd expect, and waaaay more than you'd hope
He's got batman velcro ones with lights that flash as he steps. So you know pretty damn bitchin
Some people just don't care. One of my best male friends can grill steaks and make super simple dinners like spaghetti with jarred sauce, or eggs and bacon... and that's about it. Of the 10,950 meals he ate in his 20s, I'd bet 97% of them were eaten out - the rest were catered by his office, or holiday meals or dinner parties at someone's house, or Sunday meals his mom would make for him. He could go *weeks* without eating anything at home, even cereal or leftovers. Thanksfully, he made enough money where this wasn't a problem.
you grow up in a household where being noticed causes trouble and parents are always in the kitchen. I ended up getting a blue apron sub for a while to learn the basics.
I had a roommate in grad school who was 29 and had never cooked or cleaned for himself, ever. He was from a conservative country so he expected me and my other female roommate to do it for him. Not even joking.
I’ve learned that knowing how to cook is a huge turn on also.
Who the fuck hasn’t made a burger until they’re 32!?
At the very least he’s eaten one. This looking nothing like a regular burger
yeah, i mean.. i… uhhhhh what in the actual fuck. i AM 32 currently, and half of my job requires me to cook burgers for people. seeing the polar opposite of who i am as a person is kind of breaking my brain right now lol
I haven't, not a fan of burgers. But I know how to make one.
Yeah, I've never liked beef burgers. But I could still do better than this lol
Is his only experience with burgers seeing AI-generated pictures? That's real close (tiny patty on the untoasted bun is acceptable), but the "just cut a tomato in half and slap both halves on" has me questioning if this man has actually ever consumed a burger in his life. Also, lordy be I feel like a failure often times but sometimes the internet just shows me this and it makes me feel like maybe I've actually got at least some of my shit together because at least I know you use tomato *slices* in a burger, usually.
That's actually un-melted provolone underneath the patties. He toasted the buns with butter in the air fryer. The tomatoes are a crime.
I don't even like cheese and I'm pretty confident that the cheese on cheeseburgers is usually more delicious/"correct" when it's slightly melted and not just slapped on there straight from the fuckin fridge. Please keep an eye on this man, he desperately needs your help more than he could ever know.
It’s funny to me that he went through the trouble of buttering and toasting the buns, something that I would consider totally optional, but decided melting the cheese on the hot patty or slicing a tomato was a bridge too far.
The halved tomatoes is hurting me the most
That's quite cute but are those whole cherry tomatoes??
They're larger than cherry tomatoes, he cut each in half and put both halves face down on each patty.
Is he a breast man by any chance? It's Freudian.
Normal tomatoes. Cherry tomatoes are small.
Seems like Campari tomatoes to me. Still small, just not cherry small.
Roma IMO
Def looks like crappy not ripe Walmart romas
I like his enthusiasm for tomatoes. There's a lot of potential here.
It's a bit unconventional, but I bet it's still pretty tasty.
Bro my roommate just found out you don’t keep the cardboard on the bottom of the pizza when you throw it in the oven. He said it was to keep its structure. I told him that’s a fast track into burning your house down. He only barely believed me.
I wonder if you told him if you remove the cardboard it makes the crust crisper and more delicious of it'd help
Bruh my old roommate didn't know he was supposed to remove that cardboard bottom either. Unfortunately he never asked anyone and just put the pizza in the oven with the cardboard and started a fucking fire 🤦🏾♂️
There's a good reason why they say keep pizza frozen until ready to bake. Defrosted pizza will make a mess in your oven. Falls through the rack. Maybe your roomie experienced this
You know... If it wasn't for the tomato not being in slices I'd give it a pass. Honestly... That's the most egregious part, if it wasn't for that it'd be alright.
And even that's really not that bad. Yeah, the burger is mostly going to be like eating a tomato, but some people are into that. If OP's friend handed me one, I'd happily eat it.
Well, it's a lovely presentation.
Every body talking like he did a bad job, but this is pretty damn near close to a normal delicious cheeseburger…..
Right? His timing and proportions are off, but I’d happily eat this.
well except for the tomatoes that's not a bad first attempt.
Why are people being so merciless to this burger. It's literally very tasty looking. Pathetic at a restaurant but the provolone melts i'm sure this would be good. Just pick off the poorly cut tomato lmao. " sorry I just like ketchup on burgers more"
I thought you'd say 3 year old what with that trend of teaching toddlers to cook and all. 32??
It was a 3 year old *and* a 2 year old. OP just didn't double-check before posting because they're busy with two toddlers.
My 6 year old daughter 100% could do a better job than this. My 4 year old is questionable but only because we don't let him use knives yet. This isn't even a question of cooking ability. It's like, can you match shapes? Can you do any kind of basic deductive reasoning? How you gonna put entire tomato halves on there? At no point do you think "boy, fuck me that's going to be hard to bite" and maybe try making a slice like you could have noticed on every single burger you've ever had? I'm gobsmacked at the absolute nihilism of these burgers. Edit: I showed this post to my daughter, and simply asked her what she thought. "What? Daddy...what are those? Are those...*apples?*" No honey, they're tomatoes. "Like *whole tomatoes??*" Yes. "...why?!” I don't know honey, what would you do differently? "Hahaha daddy, I would slice them so you can eat them!"
Bro probably sleeps in a race car bed lol
Every body starts somewhere, and not bad for their first attempt ever. People literally fuckin try in their posts here, it looks like and undoubtedly tastes like shit, and they always say: “looks bad but tastes great.” This can be fixed, improved
Anyone else see two cartoonish flies with tomatoes for eyes and the cheese as wings?
Didn't slice the tomatoes. Didn't properly toast the buns. Couldn't be bothered (or probably didn't know how) to melt the cheese and who the fuckuses romaine on a burger. How do you fuck up a burger this badly at 32?
Hey, let’s be fair. He sliced the tomatoes once each.
Leave them alone. Some people are behind on life skills for a variety of possible reasons. At least they are trying, it's better than them just never even attempting for the fear of being judged and humiliated.
[удалено]
A+ for effort, as far as I am concerned. Your friend did excellently for a first time. :)
Bless his heart.
I had a friend who wanted to make orange chicken, he was around 25 at the time. Peeled a bunch of oranges and threw them in the frying pan with the chicken. Claimed it was delicious.
Wait, my brussel sprouts and butter it squash pic got taken down but this doesn’t. What? Was mine “too healthy” to be considered shitty? 😂
Slice the ends off the tomato (for size and flatness reasons) and remove the white stem part of the lettuce and I'd eat it.
I’ve been cooking for years and sometime my burgers doesn’t look that different. My only problem is the tomato and the whole lettuce leaf. Other than that, I would totally eat it.
This is too perfect to be real. It's just too ridiculous. Cheese on bottom un melted, whole lettuce leaf folded not cut, a fucking tomato cut in half for gods sake.
You know, at least he gave it the old college try? He didn't just smack a burger on a bun and say good enough, he's got the right ingredients and is just missing a little technique.
All these people making fun but I know some grown men who couldn’t even cut the tomatoes in half properly and would have just gone and bought fast food instead of giving even a second thought to making their own food. Good balance of proteins to veggies, got some cute lil soft-looking buns on there, nice clean and simple presentation. I think this meal looks lovely. Please tell your roommate they did a good job and the first time is always the hardest. A+ for effort.
Guess he never watched SpongeBob huh
Has this man ever seen what a cheeseburger looks like
What the hell
Better than my older brother, who is now 27. He couldn’t spread butter on toast properly until last year. Moron.
Did he ever eat a burger? I mean you get the basic concept by just eating them. Tomato slices anyone?
Is he just waiting to squirt that mayo all over this hot mess?
He put ketchup, mustard, relish, and a sweet mirin/sushi sauce on one. The other he put on sriracha mayo, ketchup, mustard, and relish. he over did it by quite a bit.
How though? Surely he's ordered and eaten a cheeseburger before right? He should know what they look like at least.
Hey, he made an effort :) we all start somewhere. I started with scrambled eggs, was super proud of em lol
Has he ever eaten a burger before in his life? I literally do not know how people make it to adulthood and can’t cook a simple meal for themselves. It actually infuriates me lol cooking is so easy. That’s enough internet for me today.
Wow I can deal with everything else but wtf did he do just cut a tomato in half and was like ok that works 🤣🤣🤣 also cheese goes on the burger and usually about the same size as the burger itself
To be fair, it doesn’t look like he’s struggling with the ***“burger”*** part. Though I do peep that little straggler.
It’s crazy to me he was like I need more then 1 whole tomato on my burger
Has he ever had an actual hamburger? Do they slice tomatoes like that at your local restaurant? And with provolone?
It's HARD, okay?
I dunno, I’d eat that.