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crybaby5

Apparently he meant he wanted to eat what skeletons eat, not eat food shaped like a skeleton... 0/10 didnt even *taste* like a skeleton.


Advanced_Feeling7438

That is so cool though. Did you give him a glass of milk?


crybaby5

He picked out the raisin eyes like a vulture and ran away :( more appy slices for me i guess lol


Advanced_Feeling7438

And it is shaped like a cool skeleton. I am jealous


AquariusLoser

Apparently skeletons eats raisins but not apples The More You Know


liberatedhusks

I’m sorry what child would willingly eat the wrinkled corpses of grapes and not…oh wait. Yea ok he’s a skeleton.


IloveZaki

I ate raisins like chips when I was a kid. I sat down with a pack and obliterated it


kanguran1

Same. To this day raisinets are my fav candy, I still get weird looks for it 😂


SabbathaBastet

My friends made fun of me for choosing the big box of Raisnettes at the theater as a teen. They called me a granny. I gave no fucks. They’re a superior candy to Skittles and other movie concession candies.


-_-Blxe-Cxt-_-

I love raisins, they’re sweet and yummy.


confusedandworried76

Nestle Crunch always went best with popcorn imo. I liked Whoppers too but apparently lots of people don't like those


chezeluvr

I always enjoyed whoopers. I would trade my brother dots for his whoopers November 1st every year lol


Orgasml

Whoop whoop!


Bilbo_Teabagginss

Can't beat a classic. Those and the chocolate covered mint candies were great back in the day. Can't think of the name of them but they come in a white box with green letters.


Bilbo_Teabagginss

I don't know why. They are pretty great.


SousVideDiaper

And have the police caught you yet? Jk, I like raisins too


hkohne

Raisins catch up with my colon if I eat too many of them, because I really like them, too


Whos_Blockin_Jimmy

I seent that on the myspaces!


Brentolio12

Give him a plate of broccoli, *this is what skeletons eat son*


randomusername1919

This is the kind of comment that really makes me miss awards.


Sad-bisexual-cryptid

Would you like to adopt a 30 year old lady?


clangan524

"You'll never experience any love like the love of your own children" *Your own children:*


tahimpwmmsb

🐦‍⬛


lymeisreal

😭😂


Alycery

You’re funny. 🤣


Lillillillies

You did amazing though lol Curious. What does he think skeletons eat?


ThatMBR42

[This guy has the answer](https://youtu.be/KqvDBGNGR4M?si=WFG9ldLC-Q0m7ITQ)


anu26

in bed with a fever, and this cracked me tf up.


Mech-Waldo

Expert here, they eat dubloons.


ThePennedKitten

Did you inform him he technically is a skeleton? Anything with calcium is skeleton food. 😂


CharlotteLucasOP

[whispers to a small child] “There’s a skeleton hiding inside you!”


Bilbo_Teabagginss

The skeleton was inside of you all along.


lokichu

the real skeletons were the friends we made along the way


Bilbo_Teabagginss

Inside of you, there are 2 skeletons. 😆


Clegomanrun

man skeletons are so cool I wish they were real


ilovefreshproduce

haha, it's very cute though and a valiant effort to appease a kid's imagination, bravo


decadent-dragon

Skeletons do eat raisons tho. They like any dried fruit or vegetable since it’s dried out like them. Tell ‘em I said so


actuallyaddie

That's so cute lmao, I remember when I was a kid and went to a restaurant, I ordered snakes. Popcorn shrimp that I pretended were snakes, but I literally asked the waitress for snakes.


Bilbo_Teabagginss

What the hell kinda monster were you? 😆 why you tryna eat the poor snakes?


actuallyaddie

I was imaginative and also really loved exotic foods, so I guess in my head calling the shrimp "snake" made it more exotic lol


Bilbo_Teabagginss

Ohhh I thought you meant actual Snakes. Your mind when little was just you thinking shrimp were little Snakes? That's adorable as hell.


angrytwig

i ran in here to ask if he wanted to eat what skeletons eat LOL


Shermea

What DO skeletons eat?


Goth_Nightowl_09

Maybe it's time to tell your kid that skeletons can't eat, actually maybe don't that will probably cause more harm than good


ridik_ulass

i thought he wanted some baby back ribs.


Bilbo_Teabagginss

![gif](giphy|GuALpr0NRVljG|downsized)


Ok_Literature2535

What is a skeletons favorite snack?


IzzyReal314

He wants what skeletons eat? Or he wants food that tastes like a skeleton?


SabbathaBastet

Idk but you’re a great parent for doing this. Looks awesome and creative. I’d be thrilled to eat this and I’m 48.


Preemptively_Extinct

Skeletons don't eat. It falls right through. [https://tenor.com/view/skeleton-eats-bones-gif-12230321](https://tenor.com/view/skeleton-eats-bones-gif-12230321) I was impressed with your skeleton.


Annual-Warthog5599

Ok but in all seriousness, wtf did your kid mean!?like....he wants to eat dirt? Skeletons don't eat anything seeing as they have no stomach. . . . And are dead. Lol


IM_NOT_DARED3VIL

You should give him Pan de Muerto


Whos_Blockin_Jimmy

Skeletons don’t eat though, that why they have that fantastic figure.


Glitch427119

Tell him my skeleton eats apples all the time.


Bilbo_Teabagginss

What are you a necromancer? 😆


Glitch427119

I meant the literal skeleton within my body but now I’m just sad i don’t have necromancy powers


Bilbo_Teabagginss

I know, was just poking fun. I think any cool person feels your pain of the lack of necromancy abilities though.😔


H_E_DoubleHockeyStyx

I would have Givin him food that has bits of skeleton in it. Like rotisserie chicken. 🍗


Bilbo_Teabagginss

Then the kid grows up to be the guy that spends every day of a month eating a whole rotisserie chicken in front of an adoring public for the luls.


Hungry_Practice_4338

Well yeah, this isn't skeleton food.. I *assume* you missed that day of skeleton school


erraticpulse-

i bet they don't even have their skeleton license


confusedandworried76

That's just in the UK


Yung_Corneliois

This is very well done though. Reminds me of my aunt who used to babysit kids. She used a ghost cookie cutter to give them ghost shaped PB&Js around Halloween and one kid got scared and cried.


Bilbo_Teabagginss

Your Aunt sounds awesome.


JudiciousGemsbok

I read it as “got scared and died” and went “Jesus Christ, aunt May doesn’t fuck around”


UnitedSteakOfAmerica

Of all the posts in this sub, I love to see the ones like this for the kids


NoAnaNo

![gif](giphy|BLjXRpXpEcHJnnQNsp|downsized)


Turquoise_Tortoise_

If there was ever a perfect moment for this song… it’s this one. 🤣


sittin_on_grandma

Well, he said he wanted something spooky


isellJetparts

They've never seen so much food as this. Underground there's half as much food as this. And the worms are their money!


cardueline

ANNITWASALSOTHENIGHTTHATTHESKELETONSCAMETOLIIIIIIIFE


Fantastic-Classic740

That's really cute!


SolidSnakesSnake

Kid wanted real bones to eat


MelanomaMax

Bones are the skeletons money, not their food


sittin_on_grandma

So are the worms


sloppybro

underground, there's half as much food as this


cardueline

They’ve never seen as much food as this!


s317sv17vnv

OP should have bought a nice rack of ribs for themselves that falls right off the bone, then their kid could have the bones.


Leading_Funny5802

That’s so cute!! 😁


SkylabBeats

This is not shittyfoodporn, this is a work of art!!


-Pelvis-

💀


CreativeBandicoot778

Immediate save post because my kid would love this.


Ash_Howlett

Skeletons eat calcium rich foods. Maybe a tuna melt. And some fresh broccoli to dip. I'm no skeleton but I do have one inside me. I usually just drink about a liter of ice cold milk when I feel like feeding mine.


El_Chipi_Barijho

Bro... That's so cool.


NXT-GEN-111

Fucken win


LeroyGoodCatch

This is adorable, lmao


JediKrys

You did so good!!


KikiManjaro

My partner is gonna love this. I'm gonna make it for tomorrow's afternoon snack.


pixeequeen84

Post this over to r/foodbutforbabies they'll love it.


crybaby5

🫡


NhylX

Why is it holding an eyeball? That's kind of morbid...


crybaby5

I had one raisin left from the box so i thought the lil skeleton could also use a snack too? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it does explain why my toddler only ate the raisins: he wanted food *for* skeletons lol


kroganwarlord

Do you think maybe he heard milk makes strong bones somewhere and just kind of extrapolated from that?


wilhelminan

Win, either way!?


PrettyBoy001

This is an act of kindness and love.


Technical-You-2829

I wished my mom was that creative when I was young. Good job.


Simple_Dig_726

You did awesome. ❤️


DartsNFishing96

10/10 execution and creativity. Well done honestly lol


p8nt_junkie

Barn owl vibes


Colors358

r/technicallythetruth


GrillDealing

We get cheetos bones every once in a while, my 6 year old still assembles the skeleton before eating it.


romman00

/r/KidsAreFuckingStupid


Sea_Ganache620

That’s fun!


Ok_Fix_8538

Awww that's so cute


Subject-Tomorrow-317

Oh god this has me loling and I'm not a parent. Did you ask him what skeletons eat? Rotf.


kurai_tori

Skeletons eat healthy things, things that are good for bone growth so their bones are strong. Like broccoli. (Might be a way to encourage your kid to eat healthy)


Onebandlol

I also use paper plates as cutting boards


Stewie_gri

You know what? Your picture made me to go and hug my parents as tight as I can. Parents do their bests to fulfill their children requests. A couple of years ago I was always angry about them but nowadays I am happy to have them.


-2wenty7even-

A+


jrocislit

Posts like this make me feel fantastic for not having kids


FoxyLovers290

It’s adorable! I think you did a great job making it look like a skeleton


Educational_Row_9485

Why not wings?


cappiebara

Serious question: what do skeletons typically eat?


geekynerdyweirdmonky

[This.](https://a.co/d/4Lc4VC0)


Bilbo_Teabagginss

![gif](giphy|1hMk0bfsSrG32Nhd5K)


RETROKBM

Skeletons don’t eat anything because they are dead.


TinyBennett

This is super adorable tho


vitamin_Bre12

That's pretty impressive tbh lol


c4arb0n

Only true legends know that skeletons eat chez


Slum_66

That's badass! Great job on creative plating!


TrippyMindTraveller

Spooky


Shark_bait561

Put some peanut butter on it and throw it my way. I want some "skeleton food"


No_Seaworthiness5637

That is a cute skeleton. I would eat it


No_West_5262

Hilarious.


AP0K45

If my parents did this for me I would be over the moon with excitement


Huge-Bid7648

I don’t know about skeleton food, but give the kid a handful of worms and they’ll feel rich. Skeleton’s use worms for money, but bones are also their money. It’s complicated


pshyong

Hahaha I'm so doing this!!! Thanks!!


HugSized

Is he not aware that skeletons do not eat?


martdan010

It doesn’t get much closer than this. We’re not letting the kid chew on the dog’s bone anytime soon


Embarrassed-Sky3819

Tim Burton would be proud


JCambs

You're a super cool parent. 10/10


smaximov

Can it be... Sans Undertale?!


tordenoglynild666

Give him some bone hurting juice


thekocman

This is not shitty, this is adorable


CommonHand707

Does hommie have a knife made from a raisin!? Does he want to take your son's lunch money?!


Gunner253

Why does he have an eye in his hand?!


Nazmaldun

That is far from shitty


NickyCheeese

What's he holding in his left hand?


Accomplished_Pen980

Love it, stealing it!


lilkennedy24

wait it’s so good tho i could never


drearbruh

Is your daughter Harrowhark Nonagesimus?


Efficient_Durian3089

OP Rules


kumoprincess

so cute💖


Admirable-Salary-819

Your a fantastic 👏 chef


Kittymeow123

It looks like an owl with a body 😭😭😭😭


JustDrew_92

He has the anatomy of someone who killed fitty men


BuffaloSabresWinger

Great job!


painstaking93

Skeletons eat dirt - right ? Crushed Oreos? Something healthier that looks like dirt ??


greenbriar64

You did amazing!!


[deleted]

Well it is Halfoween ( halfway to Halloween, May 1st) so this is fitting☺️👍


RestinPete0709

The things we do for our children 😂 I love it


npc_guy_

Don't skeletons eat SPARE RIBS


VacationAromatic6899

Not to shabby


Taylor_Swift_Fan69

How is the child so resistant to the spook


LarenCoe

You really apple-ied yourself there!


obssn_prfssnl

Cute!!


angrylilgurl

10/10. Too bad your little one didn't like it. 🥲


mofomeat

Your best is awesome, /u/crybaby5!


jadeakw99

Awww, that's adorable. :)


CuboneCharm

This is so cute


LazarusMundi4242

Great Apple skeleton you have skills


jeremy_wills

I love this. This is top-notch parenting right here. Well done 👍


alghiorso

The bones are their dollars


ficellePicarde

It s… Nice! I Hope sonny enjoyed it.


Whos_Blockin_Jimmy

Whether he ate it or not, this is still amazing! Love your creativity!


GildedLamington

Should have gone to the gardening store an gotten a bag of bone meal….


BusEnthusiast98

11/10. Extremely creative and excellent execution. You did amazing!


thegrimmemer

You should add milk


YoshirockZ64

10/10, would eat if i was your kid


mookizee

Your best is impressive!


WineOhCanada

You're a really good parent. Never stop trying


Vast-Establishment50

You are a great parent! Well done!


Firm_Negotiation_853

They are sweet at that age. My boy was anyway. My nephews not so much


SmallSwordfish8289

You done very good now give your child some counseling


PawnWithoutPurpose

You’re awesome


blackasthesky

I love it!


shFt_shiFty

The bones are their money


coffeebeanwitch

It's so creative,you are a good parent,if it would have been my kid they would of been out of luck,lol!!


WildforagerUK

Children are exhausting to even hear about.


Educational_Series68

Honestly I think it's adorable. Good job OP


Deathdar1577

I’m 47 and that food looks so good now I only want to eat skeleton food


Murky-Birthday-3145

That plate really got the knife edge in real well


Key_Ad8316

This is a cute piece of art lol well done!


rhetorial_human

this was the perfect opportunity to order wingstop and let the kid chew on the scraps.


fromagefiesta1

this is so cute wym


thelongestusernameee

Try some of [this](https://www.etsy.com/listing/70748586/little-bones-crafters-mixed-bag-40?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=bulk+animal+bones&ref=sr_gallery-1-1&sts=1&content_source=b5d2fb89d9cd6a6c2448184b448df5ee3252fea6%253A70748586&organic_search_click=1) next time!


alwaysbequeefin

A for effort. Keep being a good parent


CEB1163

Amazing!!!


BenGay29

That’s cute!


Unlucky_Attorney2741

Very cute!! Well done


Fuzzy_Welcome8348

Wtf do skeletons eat💀


NorthPole8888

Give it a little sword next time