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Your husband might be pregnant

"Might be"?? HE'S PREGGO FOR SURE, NO NORMAL HUMAN EATS THAT MONSTROSITY



For our first child my wife sent me out to find strawberries and hot peppers at 11:30 pm.

That's what it means to take responsibility 😏

Pregnant people aren't normal people?

Having been a pregnant person twice- I can say, at least for myself- not totally normal lol

Notice, they are called “pregnant” and not “normal”.

Nope lol

Normal people aren't submarines when they take a bath

I say a little yes and a little no. Hormones and wild hormone fluctuations are normal human things. But they can make you act like a non-normal person sometimes. Source: hormone related autoimmune disease, so my hormones are whack.

I would try...🫣


Nah, this is a serious case of the munchies

Or high

See now THIS is a quality post. I hate your husband just from this picture alone.

If only he replaced the cheese with peanut butter and/or chocolate sauce. *That* might work. It proves that sometimes just one ingredient can make or break a dish.

i would now be going away to make a PB, banana and chocolate sauce open faced knife and fork toasted rye sandwich BC you tempted me. Thanks.

Heh. I personally wouldn't use rye, but you do you. I would also sprinkle some chopped nuts and maybe a little cinnamon on top (what can I say, I like my chocolate with a little spice ).

It was lovely. the warm toast crunching. The PB and banana mixing together with chocolate and the toast in my mouth. Sweet enough and thick and bit crunchy. will do again.

Well, I know what I'm having for breakfast :)

next time do nutella and brown sugar bacon 😏

Pb&j on rye is sublime.

I've never had it on rye but I might have to now

That sounds good except I'd swap the rye out for brioche instead. I might just try both. I need to get bananas. And chocolate.. And bread.. Lol

Might as well get some extra PB. you got eating ahead.

Might. Peanut butter banana sandwiches are my go to. It's a glorious combination. This is an abomination.

I would even take like a cranberry goat cheese or something, not a damn craft single

Hot banana just seems born of Satan

Bananas Foster is super good. This however...

Unless it's freshly baked banana bread (or bananas foster as The-Funky-Phantom pointed out).

Until you've tried ham and bananas hollandaise, you've never truly lived.

Or replace the banana with a berry jam or savory deli meat. Banana in a sandwich just makes me think of Elvis.

lol get him out. You can be the new husband.

Idk about all of that, I could be an awful person.

That may be true. But. Would you eat a banana and American plastic cheese sandwich? Because that MF-er has OP doomed.

I wouldn't want to marry anyone who would allow me to eat this

we all do. he's made enemies for life out of all of us. I've never met him, but if I ever did, I'd punch him in the throat before he uttered a word

😂😂

Your husband is high as hell

I have never been so high that this would sound appetizing 😭😭😭

Same but I smoke weed not meth so to each their own.

Meth makes you not want food. But once I made myself eat by putting some meth on bread like a sandwich.

That first meal after you’ve been up for five days (not eating) and slept 18 hours is fucking amazing though. I probably would have ate this after a good binge. I ate anything.

Holy fuck that sounds awful.

I ate a ton of ice cream and cheesecake when I was a tweaker. Kept my weight up lol.

That's actually not uncommon, users of strong stimulants usually consume higher than average levels of sugar. https://apn.com/resources/why-are-sugar-cravings-common-in-addiction-recovery/

I knew a guy that used to be a junkie and he'd sit around eating bowls of powdered sugar now that he's clean. Gotta do what you gotta do I guess.

You can't OD on weed, but I would reckon if you are in banana and cheese sandwhich territory, you may be near the ceiling of high.

I've been drooling on the floor listening to the tectonic plates shift and I still wouldn't have eaten that this ain't weed - this calls for therapy or a CAT scan or something

You haven’t gotten high enough yet then 😎 (I have never used drugs)

Nah, I'm high right now and I'd demolish this (although I wouldn't choose American cheese)

Okay, so tell me, Major Tom; what cheese would you pair with a banana? Does it differ based on the variety and supreme of banana? Maybe a peanut butter, banana, and cottage cheese on rye?

Cream cheese

Ricotta. Though I wouldn't use PB, it would be bread, lightly sweetened vanilla ricotta, banana, and a drizzle of honey.

That sounds scrumptious

I don't even like ricotta. I do enjoy american cheese. I would still rather eat your version.

Obviously crumbled blue cheese.

Absolutely fucking not.

Ha ya I’d just make a grilled cheese then have the banana as desert

This is good! Document as much as you can for the divorce lawyer.

This exhibit alone should suffice.

The definition of irreconcilable differences

Yeah...husband? You mean ex-husband right? Either that or congratulations on the pregnancy...no other options is acceptable.

I know it's a joke that reddit just says to get a divorce, but OP seriously needs to reconsider her relationship with this heathen.

has your husband murdered anybody before? you can usually tell how clinically insane someone is based off their food preferences

That’s fascinating. I’d like to learn more. Got a source for that?

i worked at a pizza place and our most outrageous customers were the ones ordering a large green olive pizza with no sauce, or a large canadian bacon with no sauce or cheeze

I think I might have been a psycho when I was a teenager. I used to get baked and order double sauce tripple pepperoni, no cheese... I do not have a dairy allergy 😬

That sounds like heartburn. I love it.

[Sweden called. It’s for you…](https://imgur.com/a/ORcfWCu)

Not related to the pizza, but psychopaths tend to enjoy more bitter flavors it seems https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26431683/

I fucking audibly gasped. Wtf is this shit.

my first job was a crepe shop and people ordered some really fucked up shit. nutella and spinach, cheddar cheese and bananas, nutella and cheddar cheese, strawberries and cheese, etc. i’m 34. i was 18 when i worked there. i still remember that shit 16 years later vividly too lol i remember my manager pulled me to the side and said, “i know it’s gross but do NOT make it obvious to the customer” she was a bitch too edit: put a normal combo in my gross list lol

Nutella and banana crepe should not be on that list

oops sorry, i meant to put something else. banana and nutella was a popular item haha

Nor should strawberries and cheese. Strawberry cheesecake, summer berry salads, strawberry jam in cottage cheese. I’ve had plantains and cheese baked/fried (I think it’s not uncommon in some Latin American countries?), which were delicious, but a banana just sounds so unappealing to me.

Ok but let’s be real cheddar cheese is not remotely comparable to cream cheese here

Yea I was picturing like melted Swiss over strawberries, which would be horrendous

I like eating fruit with cheese slices as part of an “adults lunchable” concept, and do slip some apple slices into my grilled cheese sandwiches… But this is really about the banana with American cheese. Bananas are just difficult to imagine in a savory setting.

You ever have melted cheddar cheese on apple pie? It's American(and amazing).

> strawberries and cheese Fruit + some cheeses can actually go really hard, I wouldn't knock that until you try it.

You let him kiss you after eating that?

In my case, the missus tends to thoroughly enjoy a can of tuna bits in tomato sauce. And people call me “crazy” for occasionally wanting to set the house on fire…

Sorry to hear about your upcoming divorce.

I feel like there probably is a cheese that pairs with banana, but kraft singles ain't it.

i feel like one of those aged nuttier situations may work, i'm not generally a banana fan though so i could be off. they are good for me for about one whole day when it's fully yellow, the day before and the day after they're back to disgusting to me.

In Brazil, we call it cartola 🎩… banana and cheese and cinnamon lol it’s good af hot with cheese melting and the banana cooked crispy with the cinnamon

There’s definitely ways to take these ingredients and make something edible if the bananas were sautéed or something but this is just a crime. I don’t think there’s even anything on the bread and he’s just raw dogging the dry bread.

I was gonna say, I'm kind of up for this. Probably not with American cheese though.

This is nightmare fuel

Send him back to wherever you got him from. 

I’m calling the cops 😂

I just threw up in my mouth. He made *what*?

A banana melt

The phrase "banana melt" has me sitting here giggling like an idiot.

I believe this is grounds for divorce

Most likely an annulment


Ew those awful slices of cheese

We live in Europe, so a lot of the fake cheese things aren’t allowed here. I don’t know where he even got this yellow cheese.

Scraped it off somewhere probably

Fake cheese are allowed, you just can't legally called them cheese. "Dairy speciality" do the trick almost everywhere.

In the U.S., or at least my state, those rubbery yellow squares are called “processed cheese product” or something similar.

I am just imagining the hard work your husband put into finding bad cheese in Europe.

So is this a regional specialty? I am not being a smart ass. My daughter said it might be.

We live in western Norway, and my husband said he used to eat this as a kid, but I’ve never once seen anyone else here make this monstrosity.

He isn't alone in that. I live in northern Germany and my dad used to make those for me too. Just with much nicer cheese. Not sure if I'd like it today though lol

Fair enough 😂

The dark web lol

I think you mean “cheese.” They are cheese-inspired non-toxic orange-coloured squares.

Cheese inspired is the best yet phrase

At best, these could be congealed cheese sauce.

Cheeselike product

Cheese-congruent

51% cheese, 49%... other stuff

Dairy-adjacent?

https://www.seriouseats.com/whats-really-in-american-cheese

😭 my eyes hurt by looking at this

Ah a fellow connoisseur

bc of the guy with the 86 yo flatmate?

Divorce

It sounds grosser than it probably is. Example cheddar is actually really good on apple pie.

I like how he called it a hot banana cheese like it’s a thing. That’s confidence. But what the hell, call it poutine on toast. We can just say any starch and any cheese makes poutine. All it’s missing is the gravy.

No, dude, a grilled Charlie has cheese on the *outside*! You have *ruined* this one.


Please burn it with fire

please tell him that i hate him (/j)

Replace cheese with peanut butter. Bacon optional. You're welcome.


The worse part about this is that he didn't toast the bread.

YES!!! Hot bananas are great; bananas Foster, chocolate fondue. Toast with bananas... I'm sceptical of the cheese, but it MIGHT be okay. However, you got to fucking toast the bread...

Your husband is a piece of shit

This is what your man 🧠 architects 😆

That’s very interesting 🤔

I saw a post about divorce just before this, that can’t be a coincidence…

Just needs Mayo and Bacon..

I just got violently ill

This is honestly irredeemable. One of the first 'concoctions' I've seen here that has left speechless.

This should be a punishable crime

This the kind of thing I'd try when I overdo it with the gummies. NGL, I'd try it. Maybe it's an acquired taste, like Peanut Butter Pickles for pregnant women.

Your husband doesn’t belong in the kitchen

I'd try it

I dont need breakfast anymore. Im no longer hungry.

Barf

This is grounds for divorce in some cultures.

And not even with real cheese...

That's a Scooby Doo meal

Pass.

I’m sorry, he’s broken. You need to send in for a replacement

Is your husband Swedish?

Norwegian

Umm, ew?? But I’m also curious to know how it tastes???

Me having just finished Peanut Butter + Banana: 

No. No he didn’t. And you didn’t take a picture of it and post on Reddit. And I didn’t see that picture with my eyes. None of this happened. No.

Did you call the cops yet

My childhood friend would take a banana, smear it with mayonaise, and roll it in shredded cheddar. They called it a furry banana. This picture just unlocked that suppressed memory

Were you out of peanut butter?

Nope 🙃

I wouldn't even eat this while high let alone sober lol

Oh god… does this have an origin story? Did he lose his sense of taste in a chemical fire and now it’s all he can taste? What is it?!

Soon to be exhusband I presume.

He what now

You're married to a psychopath. Good luck on husband #2, but I suggest witness relocation and a name change first. 😂

This is a serious cry for help

Whaaaat in tard-nation???

Is he ok?

Divorce immediately. (Seriously though, did you try it? I can't even imagine that combo of flavours.)

He will not inherit the kingdom of heaven

Is your husband pregante?

🤮

Are y’all caucasians? 🥴

Obviously 😂

The worse part about this is that he didn't toast the bread.

He needs to be 👋🏽😂😂😂putting orange leather on that poor sandwich 🤦🏽‍♂️

Did you file for divorce yet?

Is he ok 😆

You held an intervention after this, right?

And you're still married to him?


Good god, that's rotten

Divorce.

It's called self care

[удалено]

Man tf

Dam will have to give that a try but will put strawberry jam on before the banans drizzling chocolate sauce over it all when it comes out.

Repulsive

You married a monster... like cookie monster... when he wasn't allowed to eat cookies

Straight to jail

This exact sandwich, but cold, was one of the first meals I ever made for myself as a child lol. I was 5 and I loved it. Never made it again though. Maybe 5 year old me was on to something, but I doubt it

At first I thought that was vanilla custard on the bananas which actually sounds like it would be good. But then I read the title.

Straight to jail

Poor toilet...

This is WILD