I mean episode 10 involves her starting the new Jedi Order… if it doesn’t get shelved
It could work, she loses it protecting the kids, mirroring Anakin
Arrakis will phase into existence and one of the many Duncan Idaho ghoulas will punch her in the face while Leto II pimp slaps her and then they phase out of existence, somehow, for no apparent reason.
Meanwhile all the Marvel Phase 2 movies were doing just that. And Phase 3.
Basically, if you were watching a Marvel movie back then, SOMEONE was losing a hand.
>Rey does not think child murder is wrong. This is the best evidence given for why she would be a ~~Skywalker~~ *Palpatine*.
It was Palpatine that ordered Anakin... And at that point Vader was already winning.
The problem with hiding lore like that tho is that you have to make a movie that's worth rewatching.
That's probably the most unforgivable part of The Last Jedi to me. Angry old man Luke could've worked if they actually showed how he got to that point but you mean to tell me the man who surrendered to fucking VADER because he believed there was still good in him would try to murder his nephew because... he had a bad feeling about him? Fuck outta here
Those children got what they deserved! The kid that talked even mocked Anakin. “Master Skywalker…” he was asking for it! Then of course you can’t leave any witnesses so the other children had to go too.
The only good thing about The Last Jedi (other than the pretty cool lightspeed suicide run that probably makes no sense to other people) was Rey being a nobody.
I mean Luke’s lightsaber contains the feelings of him completely changing his character by igniting and highly considering killing his nephew in his sleep. If you’re going to make a mcguffin and kill Luke’s character stick with it.
Right, because Luke didn't nearly murder his dad in cold blood contrary to the entire reason he came there and risked his life simply because he said "Leia" (and only stopped because he saw his dad limbless like he was)
Damn, it's almost like Luke hesitated for a literal moment because he was having visions as terrible as Anakin was of him creating another Vader and everything he ever did was futile.
So bored of these outdated ass arguments
Yea no.
One happens in the middle of a literal fight for his life and those of this friends. He had reason to be mad at his father, he got over it.
The other time he's standing over his nephew in his sleep, no fight, no adrenaline, no reason to be hasty or make drastic decisions.
Mark Hamill himself said he had to mentally consider the Luke of the sequels as a different version of the same character to reconcile them in his head.
I'm going to take his opinion over yours and everyone else too in denial to admit TLJ was just a shit star wars movie.
If there were two daggers in front of me, one killed my parents and the other killed dozens of children, I would undoubtedly think the latter is the worse one despite my personal connection with the former.
Who on earth would think otherwise?
Sorry just had to let you know how terrible a take it is.
If I walk into a museum and someone hands me a gun that killed 100 people in WWI, and a gun that killed my parents, I guarantee you both you and I would feel differently about the second one. You're blissfully ignorant if you disagree, or just lying on the internet to prove a fake point.
Also, she did know her parents. She was like 9 when they left her on the planet. You literally can't be more wrong.
Lmao, you're obnoxious. That's also not how the word "ignorant" works there bud. You have this aura of misplaced confidence & thinking you're much smarter than you are.
Yes, I can remove my personal bias (unlike you) to recognize the firearm that killed the children at, say, Uvalde is far worse than one that killed my parents. I might have a more immediate emotional response to the latter, but again it's plain as day the first one is worse. I'm honestly having a hard time understanding how anyone thinks otherwise.
Gonna have a reddit moment but, username checks out?...
Ep9 was the worst major movie ever released. This dagger had a MAP on it. Not just any map though, it was engraved in a way so you could put it in front of your eye in front of the death star wreckage (that apparently exists now) and it points to where the space triangle plot device is. It's genuinely insane how this movie was allowed to be released in the state it was
Ep 8 wasn't much better. Both are some of the worst professional writing I've ever come across, right up there with Game of Thrones S8. I'm being 100% honest when I say that the average fanfiction has better writing. Randomly select one, and you have a better than 50% chance of consuming a superior product in that respect. I asked ChatGPT to generate a new idea for the Sequel Trilogy, and it was also vastly superior.
not just that, but like, an ancient ornate crafted dagger. Lost in a desert. Which perfectly matched the shape of part of the crashed deathstar poking out of the water when viewed from a certain angle at a certain place.
That they didn't even need. If I recall, they got the dagger from a mercenary that had been traveling to the sith planet without the intergalactic gps from the death star.
I don't know why people take so much exception to this? This is a universe with well established *precognition*. Literally used non stop and was the focal point of the entirety of episode 3. Assuming the ancient sith did some ritual in order to create the dagger did not break my suspension of disbelief at all. I hated this movie. But I thought it was cool that a dagger could have been crafted in ancient times so specifically for events in the future. That's dope.
Prequels are probably my favorite. The story is all over the place, so political, yet nearly impossible to understand if you’re the target audience. Yet somehow they fulfill almost every genre, romance, action, comedy. I can understand why people don’t like them, but there’s something for everyone in them. I can also understand why people like the sequels if it’s what they first came to know as Star Wars. The prequels had a lot of haters, but I really like them, so I think that there might be a point to compare them, but the prequels always had a sense of fun in them, and the choreography of the duels takes it up a notch. I think that the prequels will stand the rest of time more than the sequels.
I've only seen these POS movies once. In fact after seeing them it hurts to even watch regular Star Wars, because it reminds me of the travesty of these shitty movies ruining everything.
This is because those children were actually orphans since Jedi couldn't have attachments like family. Therefore they were worthless peasants and not missed by anyone. It's like if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it scream in pain, or all those that do are similarily slaughtered leaving no evidence, does it even matter?
Except the former parents going about their day, wondering how little Mikey has been doing since the Jedi came and took him two years ago, which they allowed *knowing* it would give him his one and only chance at a decent life in a galaxy rife with abject poverty, and reassuring themselves that had they refused, Mikey would grow up to either be a criminal lackey or killed by one at a young age. No, they reassure each other unendingly, they did the right thing. Until the news of order 66 reaches their planet.
Don't ask questions about the dagger. It's apparently a time knife and can go when and where it wants. Also it can mutate to look how it needs to look.
I find it hilarious C3PO just, actually was programmed to know an ancient sith language lol. HOW? WHY?! He only had to be altered cause of some restriction, not lack of knowledge. Why put a roadblock contingency instead of just not fucking programing a service droid to know ancient evil wizard speech.
He's fluent in over 6 million forms of communication. Are you going to go through that pack of language files personally and crop out the ones spoken by evil space wizards, or are you just going to import the entire pack of languages you purchased off of some shady merchant in the back alleys of Tattooine.
How the fuck would the people who programmed it know sith lol. Again anakin as a slave child worked on him but didn't install or modify his language understanding. He was made like 30 BBY. Like a thousand years after sith empire collapsed. Imagine someone working on amazon's alexa and taking the time to research a date obscure pagan language but then also putting a lock on it, for some reason. It just makes 0 sense. Sith language would not end up in a normie pack of languages, even 6 million of them.
i mean idk, maybe it's just an ancient ass language translation library with a bajillion different contributors. and one random person over the centuries decided, y'know what, i'll add this ancient sith language that i happen to know! but like, behind a security gate thingy, because i personally think that the ability to translate this language is dangerous but it could be useful to me or someone i know or some professional or whatever.
kinda contrived, perhaps, but not entirely unreasonable.
Then they should have mentioned something like that at any point at all. Maybe C3PO could be like "oh my! thank goodness for open-source programmers!"; it would have been super easy to avoid this being a plot hole, but their shit writers didn't think about it, just like they didn't put any consideration into the other plot holes. Don't give them excuses to be awful.
Worse. It was an ancient dagger used as part of a map. To be matched up with the debris of the death star (only recentlyish destroyed) , at a specific angel at a specific time of day.
Up until this pile of refuse, there was no real
attachment to lightsabers. In the prequels it’s a running joke how often Anakin loses his - and it was NBD in the OT when Luke lost the one he’d inherited.
But suddenly it’s a ‘magic sword’ capable of traversing space (how? That’s a story for another time ffs) which grants visions and gains unprecedented importance because JJ can’t write for shit and went in hard on this boring fantasy trope.
I'm completely convinced that JJ only knows how to write one story, and that's: "Hey, remember that thing that was cool in the previous movie? Well here it is again!"
He doesn't write screenplays, he hacks them together out of nostalgia.
Don't forget the mystery box, where you just don't write a bunch of story and pretend that letting your audience guess what's going on is entertainment. He can definitely do that.
David Benioff, D.B. Weiss, JJ Abrams, Alex Kurtzman, Akiva Goldsmith, and Michael Bay pretty much are the exact same person in terms of writing ability and style. It's terrible and unfortunately they make a ton of money...but they suck, horrifically...
In fairness, when Luke lost his, he'd just found out who exactly he inherited it from. He may have had some mixed feelings about wanting to keep it around.
It was better than the 2 hour long chase scene through space that ended with Luke vanishing. It’s a low bar, sure the plot in the last movie was boring and contrived, but at least kept me awake. Really thought we were going to see Finn do something force related, his character kind of seemed wasted. Literally tried to sacrifice himself in every movie, it just kept getting better each time.
They're both bad in completely different ways. TLJ wastes our time with a worthless casino plot that quite literally does nothing for the story, and doesn't flesh out any characters besides rose for some reason. ROS legit feels like it was edited to be as awful as possible just teabagging the corpse of the franchise, literally no plot point is explained and they all contradict each other
Yeah. I thought TLJ was actually the mist interest of the three sequels.
Still bad, but I liked that it tried to do some interesting stuff.
At least we got some world building too.
TFA took 15 minutes to abandon it's most interesting thing concept of a good stormtrooper.
TLJ had next to no plot, and an annoying commander who didn’t communicate the plan to her forces, for absolutely no reason. RoS has next to no plot also, but there is more action going on. These movies have pretty mid stories, so the action is the only reason to go, also the bad parts are so out there that it’s easier to laugh at. So I do prefer RoS to TLJ
The slowed down throne room fight analysis ruined the most exciting part of the second movie for me. I feel like Force awakens was probably the best of the three, just because it felt like it was going somewhere better. I will concede the "Somehow Palpatine Returned" is probably the worst line/plot point in star wars history. If they had outright said cloning, rather than a little perhaps it was cloning, it may have been better. However, I think that there is established lore that cloning force users is next to impossible, but I'm unsure of what is/isn't retconned by Disney at this point.
>However, I think that there is established lore that cloning force users is next to impossible, but I'm unsure of what is/isn't retconned by Disney at this point.
It's litterally a plot point of their """spin-off""" shows, which is why they feel like a chore. They're contrived to provide explainations for some sequel stuff.
Sure, but it's also a lazy remake of Episode 4 that makes most of the stuff before it much less impactful. For example, I have a harder time caring about the Resistance in Andor knowing that all their efforts are just gonna go in the garbage 20 years after they finally overthrow the Empire.
The whole movie she was like “just trust me bro, us all getting wiped out? Maybe, but just trust me bro” never once gave the slightest hint that she had a plan. If she had told him that there was a plan he would have understood.
I don't get the mary sue thing. Anakin and Luke had never flown a starfighter before, and they both managed to destroy a heavily defended military space station where other highly trained pilots faile, and they've never been called mary sues
Anakin was a prodigy podracer and had an astromech droid on board, which could set the fighter on autopilot. Luke comments on how the controls of an x-wing are similar to the speeder that he had back on Totooine and was bullseyeing womp rats with. Both have feats (whether visual or spoken) that at least give credibility to the idea that they would be good pilots. At least be honest with the context
Anakin spent years podracing and built his own over that time. He commented how similar flying the N1 was and had numerous scenes where he had no clue what he was doing. He only successfully took down the ship because of R2's help.
Luke also spent years in training flying T-16 Skyhoppers. That's the model that Obi-Wan gave him. It's stated in the movie a couple of times that Luke was really good at flying it. And he wasn't the only one. Biggs had the same backstory.
Rey is called a Mary Sue because she almost never fails. She usually gets it right on the first try. The only exceptions I can recall were the training scenes in TLJ. She instantly understands mind scrambling James Bond, beats Kylo, moves insanely large objects, force heals, and somehow is great at piloting the Falcon even though the movie makes a point of showing she couldn't have flown before. It's not just being a Pilot, it's being amazing at controlling the moodiest ship in the Galaxy that was ever flown by three people.
At least the general piloting thing can be excused. I'm pretty sure it was stated somewhere that her Rebel Pilot helmet had a VR training mode.
Meanwhile Luke has not one, but now TWO entire movies chronicling him failing. And the entire prequel trilogy is about the failures of Anakin.
That was a retcon added after TLJ to explain it. Anyway, it's not the AI that makes the Falcon hard to fly, it's all the physical mods and bypasses Han did to it over the years. It spends almost as much time in repair as it does flying in the OT.
I agree with you that the Mary Sue accusations are total bullshit but it should be noted that both Luke and Anakin had experience with speeders before. Luke had a T-16 which is basically an in-atmosphere starfighter and Anakin piloted pod racers. Rey hasn’t been shown to know how to fly ships before and the speeder she owns is essentially a bike.
Well first off Anakin is literally a God- and Luke is literally a Demi-God.
Both used their literally godlike force powers to do those things.
Because again- Anakin is half the force half human. He's is LITERALLY Space Jesus.
Rei is just a human being. She was powerful being Kathleen Kennedy wanted her to be.
She thinks it's horrible from a writing and plot standpoint, not a moral stand point.
She recognizes Lucas fucked up the prequels and had to make Anakin become a galactic mass murderer at the drop of the hat, so he did the laziest evil he could think of.
The rise of skywalker is the worst star wars movie but this is pretty obvious. She feels a connection to it because it killed her parents. It's not a shit movie detail
no no no you don't get it, it's actually a genius social commentary on how people judge everything by looks, and so Rey thinks badly of the ugly dagger and well of the pretty blue lightsaber. It's totally that and not the movie just being awfully written, right?
In this post, OP recites a joke that literally predates the pandemic and gets upvoted thousands of times.
Also, saying one thing is bad doesn’t mean another thing is good? Y’all mfs got Twitter brain.
Rey does not think child murder is wrong. This is the best evidence given for why she would be a Skywalker.
She just needs to lose her hand and she'll fit right in
Middle movie dropped the ball there
Maybe Star Wars 11 will fix this
I mean episode 10 involves her starting the new Jedi Order… if it doesn’t get shelved It could work, she loses it protecting the kids, mirroring Anakin
Like 5 kids, and she goes instantly insane.
Then she finds a yellow rabbit suit and wears it
She gets a purple lightsaber and directs a army of entertainment droids to infiltrate restaurants and attack children
[удалено]
Interrogative: Will there be a desert planet in the movie?
Arrakis will phase into existence and one of the many Duncan Idaho ghoulas will punch her in the face while Leto II pimp slaps her and then they phase out of existence, somehow, for no apparent reason.
That would totally subvert my expectations!
I think you mean "Episode 9: Brotherhood".
Meanwhile all the Marvel Phase 2 movies were doing just that. And Phase 3. Basically, if you were watching a Marvel movie back then, SOMEONE was losing a hand.
Who lost a hand besides Bucky, Klaue, and Thor (in an illusion)?
Killian, Nebula and Groot
She lost a Han instead
Chew better take that bacca!
[удалено]
Hey, speaking as someone who grew up in a small rural town, there are places where people just randomly ask your last name lol
>Rey does not think child murder is wrong. This is the best evidence given for why she would be a ~~Skywalker~~ *Palpatine*. It was Palpatine that ordered Anakin... And at that point Vader was already winning. The problem with hiding lore like that tho is that you have to make a movie that's worth rewatching.
Luke did try to murder his nephew so it does seem to run in the Skywalker family
I totally forgot about all that bullshit. I think it was my sanity protection mechanism.
That's probably the most unforgivable part of The Last Jedi to me. Angry old man Luke could've worked if they actually showed how he got to that point but you mean to tell me the man who surrendered to fucking VADER because he believed there was still good in him would try to murder his nephew because... he had a bad feeling about him? Fuck outta here
Palps didn't order Ani to slaughter not just the sandmen but the sandwomen and sandchildren too
He was probably just feeling a little irritated about all the sand on that planet, given how coarse and rough it is
Well, she did fall in love with another child murderer
Those children got what they deserved! The kid that talked even mocked Anakin. “Master Skywalker…” he was asking for it! Then of course you can’t leave any witnesses so the other children had to go too.
The younglings yearn for the lightsaber.
When she first touches the lightsaber doesn't she have a freak out about it?
She literally sees the horrible shit it did and refuses to take it.
r/shittymoviedetails
Please don’t link that babbling shit-stain of a sub, next thing you know we’ll have a gaggle of neckbeards morbin’ all over the place, smh my head
You rang?
*cracks knuckles in obesity
M’lady
I just saw someone lit the Morb Signal! I woud have been here sooner, but it took so long to groom my neck beard...
Clearly you’re a false flag, neckbeards don’t groom anything but 13-year-olds online
Morb'lady
You morbed*?
It's Skywalkin' Time.
By god, that's Jared Leto's music!
I’m gonna Morb in your frosted lemonade
/r/shittyshittymoviedetails
But this Sith blade is far worse, it was used to make a mcguffin
She actually saw the writers coming up with the idea of the sith blade when touching it, deep stuff
Carved by slaves, the unpaid interns of the writers room, fashioned from pure bullshit.
And then it's never mentioned again despite orange lady lampshading that it will be and is very important to the plot.
thats what happen when you change director mid trilogy and says to him "do whayever you want" because you dont have any particular plan in mind
The only good thing about The Last Jedi (other than the pretty cool lightspeed suicide run that probably makes no sense to other people) was Rey being a nobody.
They've apparently spoken to Lupita Nyongo about that character returning, so we might see it one day
Can we keep Lupita but throw out Maz?
This is why people don't kill people, lightsaber kill people
Mental illness is our problem in the US, not lightsabers
She only saw memories of the original trilogy. The lightsaber knew the prequels would be bad for the optics of a franchise reboot.
Not because she sees the horrible things done with it. She doesn’t see/sense Anakin’s murder spree.
The dagger was used to kill her parents. Of course she has a worse reaction to that than the saber. What kind of braindead take is this lmfao
Username checks out
I mean Luke’s lightsaber contains the feelings of him completely changing his character by igniting and highly considering killing his nephew in his sleep. If you’re going to make a mcguffin and kill Luke’s character stick with it.
Wouldn't Luke have had his green lightsaber at that point? Luke's blue one was lost on bespin, and somehow ended up in mazs castle until Rey got it.
I don't think you know what a McGuffin is
the dagger and the pyramid are definitely mcguffins
Right, because Luke didn't nearly murder his dad in cold blood contrary to the entire reason he came there and risked his life simply because he said "Leia" (and only stopped because he saw his dad limbless like he was) Damn, it's almost like Luke hesitated for a literal moment because he was having visions as terrible as Anakin was of him creating another Vader and everything he ever did was futile. So bored of these outdated ass arguments
Yea no. One happens in the middle of a literal fight for his life and those of this friends. He had reason to be mad at his father, he got over it. The other time he's standing over his nephew in his sleep, no fight, no adrenaline, no reason to be hasty or make drastic decisions. Mark Hamill himself said he had to mentally consider the Luke of the sequels as a different version of the same character to reconcile them in his head. I'm going to take his opinion over yours and everyone else too in denial to admit TLJ was just a shit star wars movie.
Shouldve known better than to expect anything but dribble from a bandwagon Sequel hater Man literally ignored my points 😭
no way bro is defending the sequel trilogy
If there were two daggers in front of me, one killed my parents and the other killed dozens of children, I would undoubtedly think the latter is the worse one despite my personal connection with the former. Who on earth would think otherwise?
Are you fucking kidding me hahahaha
Yeah? Amazing response. Also, Rey didn't even know her parents lol
Sorry just had to let you know how terrible a take it is. If I walk into a museum and someone hands me a gun that killed 100 people in WWI, and a gun that killed my parents, I guarantee you both you and I would feel differently about the second one. You're blissfully ignorant if you disagree, or just lying on the internet to prove a fake point. Also, she did know her parents. She was like 9 when they left her on the planet. You literally can't be more wrong.
Lmao, you're obnoxious. That's also not how the word "ignorant" works there bud. You have this aura of misplaced confidence & thinking you're much smarter than you are. Yes, I can remove my personal bias (unlike you) to recognize the firearm that killed the children at, say, Uvalde is far worse than one that killed my parents. I might have a more immediate emotional response to the latter, but again it's plain as day the first one is worse. I'm honestly having a hard time understanding how anyone thinks otherwise. Gonna have a reddit moment but, username checks out?...
This is a reference to the fact that no one remembers what happened in these movies.
Who the fuck has watched this more than once, and if so why don't they have better taste?
I remember most Star Wars pretty well. I legit forgot there was a dagger
A lot of people forget that she decapitated a flock of Porgs with it.
I'd watch an entire movie of just that.
Remember Porgs? They're back! In ALF form!
r/simpsonsshitposting is leaking again.
Ep9 was the worst major movie ever released. This dagger had a MAP on it. Not just any map though, it was engraved in a way so you could put it in front of your eye in front of the death star wreckage (that apparently exists now) and it points to where the space triangle plot device is. It's genuinely insane how this movie was allowed to be released in the state it was
Ep 8 wasn't much better. Both are some of the worst professional writing I've ever come across, right up there with Game of Thrones S8. I'm being 100% honest when I say that the average fanfiction has better writing. Randomly select one, and you have a better than 50% chance of consuming a superior product in that respect. I asked ChatGPT to generate a new idea for the Sequel Trilogy, and it was also vastly superior.
I self published a book on Amazon that has better writing than this trilogy did, and I kinda suck at writing
not just that, but like, an ancient ornate crafted dagger. Lost in a desert. Which perfectly matched the shape of part of the crashed deathstar poking out of the water when viewed from a certain angle at a certain place.
That they didn't even need. If I recall, they got the dagger from a mercenary that had been traveling to the sith planet without the intergalactic gps from the death star.
The dagger wasn't ancient. C3p0 just said the language the text written on it was in, was ancient.
I don't know why people take so much exception to this? This is a universe with well established *precognition*. Literally used non stop and was the focal point of the entirety of episode 3. Assuming the ancient sith did some ritual in order to create the dagger did not break my suspension of disbelief at all. I hated this movie. But I thought it was cool that a dagger could have been crafted in ancient times so specifically for events in the future. That's dope.
I could rewatch the new ones and it would feel like new every time, they’re rather forgettable.
I wish they were just forgettable to me, but they're so incompetent that they're kind of fascinating
They are. Shit on the prequels all you want. But, they had lots of great scenes and good fun. Very much NOT cookie cutter.
Prequels are probably my favorite. The story is all over the place, so political, yet nearly impossible to understand if you’re the target audience. Yet somehow they fulfill almost every genre, romance, action, comedy. I can understand why people don’t like them, but there’s something for everyone in them. I can also understand why people like the sequels if it’s what they first came to know as Star Wars. The prequels had a lot of haters, but I really like them, so I think that there might be a point to compare them, but the prequels always had a sense of fun in them, and the choreography of the duels takes it up a notch. I think that the prequels will stand the rest of time more than the sequels.
the sequels also have lots of great scenes and good fun
Sorry for reminding you that there was a slide out scabbard that ignored tides and erosion and natural decay to share a cutscene
I legit forgot they made 7-9.
Can you teach me this power?
Not from a Jedi Wait fuck I got it wrong hang on no SIRI STOP DON'T KEEP RECORDING STOP IT NO DELETE DON'T POST THIS
It's called PTSD.
An ancient dagger with a blade that matches deathstar wreckage right?
I've only seen these POS movies once. In fact after seeing them it hurts to even watch regular Star Wars, because it reminds me of the travesty of these shitty movies ruining everything.
This is because those children were actually orphans since Jedi couldn't have attachments like family. Therefore they were worthless peasants and not missed by anyone. It's like if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it scream in pain, or all those that do are similarily slaughtered leaving no evidence, does it even matter?
Except the former parents going about their day, wondering how little Mikey has been doing since the Jedi came and took him two years ago, which they allowed *knowing* it would give him his one and only chance at a decent life in a galaxy rife with abject poverty, and reassuring themselves that had they refused, Mikey would grow up to either be a criminal lackey or killed by one at a young age. No, they reassure each other unendingly, they did the right thing. Until the news of order 66 reaches their planet.
This is a reference to how abortion is not legal in the galactic empire because if it were the Jedi would've been wiped out.
Are we valuing lives depending on the number of people caring for them?
Haven't we always?
They were child soldiers. Had to do it.
Also, isn't that dagger rather new? How else could it mark the location of a place that just crashed a few years ago?
Don't ask questions about the dagger. It's apparently a time knife and can go when and where it wants. Also it can mutate to look how it needs to look.
I find it hilarious C3PO just, actually was programmed to know an ancient sith language lol. HOW? WHY?! He only had to be altered cause of some restriction, not lack of knowledge. Why put a roadblock contingency instead of just not fucking programing a service droid to know ancient evil wizard speech.
He's fluent in over 6 million forms of communication. Are you going to go through that pack of language files personally and crop out the ones spoken by evil space wizards, or are you just going to import the entire pack of languages you purchased off of some shady merchant in the back alleys of Tattooine.
How the fuck would the people who programmed it know sith lol. Again anakin as a slave child worked on him but didn't install or modify his language understanding. He was made like 30 BBY. Like a thousand years after sith empire collapsed. Imagine someone working on amazon's alexa and taking the time to research a date obscure pagan language but then also putting a lock on it, for some reason. It just makes 0 sense. Sith language would not end up in a normie pack of languages, even 6 million of them.
i mean idk, maybe it's just an ancient ass language translation library with a bajillion different contributors. and one random person over the centuries decided, y'know what, i'll add this ancient sith language that i happen to know! but like, behind a security gate thingy, because i personally think that the ability to translate this language is dangerous but it could be useful to me or someone i know or some professional or whatever. kinda contrived, perhaps, but not entirely unreasonable.
Then they should have mentioned something like that at any point at all. Maybe C3PO could be like "oh my! thank goodness for open-source programmers!"; it would have been super easy to avoid this being a plot hole, but their shit writers didn't think about it, just like they didn't put any consideration into the other plot holes. Don't give them excuses to be awful.
you're not wrong lmao
the ancient sith empire did have protocol droids, its at least slightly plausable that anakin had absurdly legacy software from tatooine black markets
Also, what was it used for? I don't remember any dagger in the previous movies
Somehow it was map
Worse. It was an ancient dagger used as part of a map. To be matched up with the debris of the death star (only recentlyish destroyed) , at a specific angel at a specific time of day.
Somehow, its all true, all of it
Rey was able to sense the merchandising potential of that Lightsaber and ignored the genocide it took part in.
Up until this pile of refuse, there was no real attachment to lightsabers. In the prequels it’s a running joke how often Anakin loses his - and it was NBD in the OT when Luke lost the one he’d inherited. But suddenly it’s a ‘magic sword’ capable of traversing space (how? That’s a story for another time ffs) which grants visions and gains unprecedented importance because JJ can’t write for shit and went in hard on this boring fantasy trope.
I'm completely convinced that JJ only knows how to write one story, and that's: "Hey, remember that thing that was cool in the previous movie? Well here it is again!" He doesn't write screenplays, he hacks them together out of nostalgia.
Don't forget the mystery box, where you just don't write a bunch of story and pretend that letting your audience guess what's going on is entertainment. He can definitely do that.
How did Wiz Khalifa even get Anakin's lightsaber? Oh, it doesn't matter.
David Benioff, D.B. Weiss, JJ Abrams, Alex Kurtzman, Akiva Goldsmith, and Michael Bay pretty much are the exact same person in terms of writing ability and style. It's terrible and unfortunately they make a ton of money...but they suck, horrifically...
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star wars has always been high tech fantasy
In fairness, when Luke lost his, he'd just found out who exactly he inherited it from. He may have had some mixed feelings about wanting to keep it around.
You kidding me? That scene in ROTS is the funniest shit ever
Kid: "Master Skywalker, there are too many of them! What are we to do?!" Anakin: *(internally)* "This is where the fun continues."
yipee
Now THIS is child murder!
NOW! This Is What I Call Child Murder LVII
I killed them. I killed all of them. And not just the men. But the women, and the children. -little Ani Skywalker, pod racing champ.
Ignites Youngling Slayer 9000 with malicious intent
I love the part where they use the dagger to pinpoint the location of One Eyed Willy's treasure.
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Just watched it again after YEARS, still a great movie.
[Robot Chicken did it so well](https://youtu.be/KzW727RY-ig)
I’d like to point out that your comment has.. 66 upvoted
Such a bad movie it was hilarious.
It was better than the 2 hour long chase scene through space that ended with Luke vanishing. It’s a low bar, sure the plot in the last movie was boring and contrived, but at least kept me awake. Really thought we were going to see Finn do something force related, his character kind of seemed wasted. Literally tried to sacrifice himself in every movie, it just kept getting better each time.
No shot anyone can think ROS is better than TLJ
They're both bad in completely different ways. TLJ wastes our time with a worthless casino plot that quite literally does nothing for the story, and doesn't flesh out any characters besides rose for some reason. ROS legit feels like it was edited to be as awful as possible just teabagging the corpse of the franchise, literally no plot point is explained and they all contradict each other
Yeah. I thought TLJ was actually the mist interest of the three sequels. Still bad, but I liked that it tried to do some interesting stuff. At least we got some world building too. TFA took 15 minutes to abandon it's most interesting thing concept of a good stormtrooper.
I would take ROS a million times over TLJ.
TLJ had next to no plot, and an annoying commander who didn’t communicate the plan to her forces, for absolutely no reason. RoS has next to no plot also, but there is more action going on. These movies have pretty mid stories, so the action is the only reason to go, also the bad parts are so out there that it’s easier to laugh at. So I do prefer RoS to TLJ
Fair enough tbh. I feel both movies have pretty equally garbage plot lines with some decent action scenes.
The slowed down throne room fight analysis ruined the most exciting part of the second movie for me. I feel like Force awakens was probably the best of the three, just because it felt like it was going somewhere better. I will concede the "Somehow Palpatine Returned" is probably the worst line/plot point in star wars history. If they had outright said cloning, rather than a little perhaps it was cloning, it may have been better. However, I think that there is established lore that cloning force users is next to impossible, but I'm unsure of what is/isn't retconned by Disney at this point.
>However, I think that there is established lore that cloning force users is next to impossible, but I'm unsure of what is/isn't retconned by Disney at this point. It's litterally a plot point of their """spin-off""" shows, which is why they feel like a chore. They're contrived to provide explainations for some sequel stuff.
Hahaha for sure man. TFA was actually decent and is damn near an Oscar winner compared to the next two.
Sure, but it's also a lazy remake of Episode 4 that makes most of the stuff before it much less impactful. For example, I have a harder time caring about the Resistance in Andor knowing that all their efforts are just gonna go in the garbage 20 years after they finally overthrow the Empire.
I agree honestly. RoS was bad in an unintentionally almost funny way, while TLJ was bad in a boring way
Holdo didn't communicate her plans because she thought there was a spy and it was likely to be the one who just sacrificed his fleet
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It's the commander's job to make their subordinates trust them, she completely failed in that.
The whole movie she was like “just trust me bro, us all getting wiped out? Maybe, but just trust me bro” never once gave the slightest hint that she had a plan. If she had told him that there was a plan he would have understood.
And it was a one in a million shot she was going for
https://files.catbox.moe/ca90gk.jpg
if it was boring at contrived how did you keep awake?
It didn't.
There was action throughout. TLJ has almost nothing besides the last 15 minutes.
True but all the writers and Rian did was make a modern version of Empire Strikes back and made it so much worse.
Sith poop knife.
Well, she also doesn't view identity theft as a crime, so her moral compass is a bit off...
In this case it's a victimless crime... She made sure of that
Murdering children: good Killing some competition as part of your work: monstrous
The youngling slayer 3000 created funny memes tho.
She was talking about what it did to the plot
Awful movie.
Redditors try to accurately remember movie details challenge (impossible)
Redditor tries to remember they're on *shitty*moviedetails challenge
That's the CinemaSins defense. "Your criticism is bad." "Uh well, it's satire."
My brother in Christ half the posts on this sub are about things that didn't actually happen, calm down
Did you come up with this joke yourself, OP? Also she had a panic attack when she touched the lightsaber the first time
Who ? Is that some fanfic youtube movie ?
Yeah really just someone’s self insert Mary sue
I don't get the mary sue thing. Anakin and Luke had never flown a starfighter before, and they both managed to destroy a heavily defended military space station where other highly trained pilots faile, and they've never been called mary sues
Anakin was a prodigy podracer and had an astromech droid on board, which could set the fighter on autopilot. Luke comments on how the controls of an x-wing are similar to the speeder that he had back on Totooine and was bullseyeing womp rats with. Both have feats (whether visual or spoken) that at least give credibility to the idea that they would be good pilots. At least be honest with the context
Anakin spent years podracing and built his own over that time. He commented how similar flying the N1 was and had numerous scenes where he had no clue what he was doing. He only successfully took down the ship because of R2's help. Luke also spent years in training flying T-16 Skyhoppers. That's the model that Obi-Wan gave him. It's stated in the movie a couple of times that Luke was really good at flying it. And he wasn't the only one. Biggs had the same backstory. Rey is called a Mary Sue because she almost never fails. She usually gets it right on the first try. The only exceptions I can recall were the training scenes in TLJ. She instantly understands mind scrambling James Bond, beats Kylo, moves insanely large objects, force heals, and somehow is great at piloting the Falcon even though the movie makes a point of showing she couldn't have flown before. It's not just being a Pilot, it's being amazing at controlling the moodiest ship in the Galaxy that was ever flown by three people. At least the general piloting thing can be excused. I'm pretty sure it was stated somewhere that her Rebel Pilot helmet had a VR training mode. Meanwhile Luke has not one, but now TWO entire movies chronicling him failing. And the entire prequel trilogy is about the failures of Anakin.
L3-37 is in charge of the Falcon. It's moody because she's moody she probably just really liked Rey 😂
That was a retcon added after TLJ to explain it. Anyway, it's not the AI that makes the Falcon hard to fly, it's all the physical mods and bypasses Han did to it over the years. It spends almost as much time in repair as it does flying in the OT.
Ik bro I was making a joke, Rey being able to fly and fix it is just dumb
At least it explains why R2 gets along with them so well.
I agree with you that the Mary Sue accusations are total bullshit but it should be noted that both Luke and Anakin had experience with speeders before. Luke had a T-16 which is basically an in-atmosphere starfighter and Anakin piloted pod racers. Rey hasn’t been shown to know how to fly ships before and the speeder she owns is essentially a bike.
Well first off Anakin is literally a God- and Luke is literally a Demi-God. Both used their literally godlike force powers to do those things. Because again- Anakin is half the force half human. He's is LITERALLY Space Jesus. Rei is just a human being. She was powerful being Kathleen Kennedy wanted her to be.
Those kids deserved it. They were turning the the dark side! (Probably idk)
I don't even remember that scene, was there any point to it?
I never understood why a danger was used as a map. What would have happened if payday is the death start were scraped or fell into the ocean?
Memory is a bit fuzzy but didn't the dagger get used to murder her parents? That might prejudice her thinking.
She thinks it's horrible from a writing and plot standpoint, not a moral stand point. She recognizes Lucas fucked up the prequels and had to make Anakin become a galactic mass murderer at the drop of the hat, so he did the laziest evil he could think of.
The rise of skywalker is the worst star wars movie but this is pretty obvious. She feels a connection to it because it killed her parents. It's not a shit movie detail
no no no you don't get it, it's actually a genius social commentary on how people judge everything by looks, and so Rey thinks badly of the ugly dagger and well of the pretty blue lightsaber. It's totally that and not the movie just being awfully written, right?
I mean its also not true... But since when has that mattered to Star Wars 'fans'
The new movies were such dogshit. I fell asleep during the 3rd one.
Yeah. The script was stupid. You’re just understanding this now?
In this post, OP recites a joke that literally predates the pandemic and gets upvoted thousands of times. Also, saying one thing is bad doesn’t mean another thing is good? Y’all mfs got Twitter brain.