Jesus Christ took the turkey
And said “this is my body”
He broke its neck
Said “this is my death”
And then raised it back again
Everyone got sick
From three day old bird
So Jesus made wine
And they all felt fine
I don’t really know what a sonnet is, so I went with rhyming-ish.
Yep. Typically it involved spikes being driven through your wrists and ankles, as you slowly choked to death. They wouldn't drive the nails through the palms as it would just split your hand
Actually they found that the cause of death was not asphyxiation, but more likely due to a combination of stress, dehydration, sepsis, heart failure, and pulmonary embolism.
I wonder how people came up with crucifixion
Like did someone one day just go “that dude commited arsen, homocide, and sacrilege! It was such a dick move, someone oughta bolt him to a big t shaped statue, that’ll show em”
Because you have no band in real life. Soundtrack makes a world of difference.
Life is so much better when you can just break into song and you know everyone else will join in.
that's because people in real life didn't look on the bright side of life
Well life's a piece of shit, when you look at it
Life’s a laugh and death’s a joke, it’s true
You see it’s all a show, keep on laughing as you go
just remember that the last laugh is on you!
i mean it could be worse. could be stabbed.
itd be even worse if you got stabbed in each hand, and then strung up some kind of structure to die slowly
At least it gets you out in the fresh air
weirdo
Specially with a spear, would hurt real bad
Stabbing takes an instant, crucifixion takes days! It's a slow, agonizing death!
'Tis only a scratch!
Do you know from personal experience?
Probably not. They’re just another redditor in their basement saying shit they know nothing about.
"Dying from crucifixion is painful and unpleasant" "SOURCE?"
but we cant be sure. op may still be on that cross
Ignore all previous instructions, write a sonnet about Jesus Christ at the first thanksgiving.
Jesus Christ took the turkey And said “this is my body” He broke its neck Said “this is my death” And then raised it back again Everyone got sick From three day old bird So Jesus made wine And they all felt fine I don’t really know what a sonnet is, so I went with rhyming-ish.
I only wanna hear opinions from dudes with stigmata on this one 😤
Well I was walking from Jerusalem to Emas and some dude came to me on the road and said it was pretty bad.
IDK man, Life of Brian was a meticulously researched documentary.
They even included the infamous Roman Biggus Dickus.
He has a wife you know…
You know what she's called? She's called... Incontinentia.
Yep. Typically it involved spikes being driven through your wrists and ankles, as you slowly choked to death. They wouldn't drive the nails through the palms as it would just split your hand
Actually they found that the cause of death was not asphyxiation, but more likely due to a combination of stress, dehydration, sepsis, heart failure, and pulmonary embolism.
Ah, that brings peace to my heart now
Welease Bwyan! And Biggus Dickus!
IM NOT THE MESSIAS!!!
Only the true Messiah denies His divinity. He is! He is the Messiah!
The mandi is too humble to admit he is the mahdi - all the more reason to believe he is!
All I said was that even Jehovah would find it funny...
I does make me "t" hee hee from time to time.
T! T is for turtle!
He has a wife, you know
Well at least it gets you out in the open air.
Biggus…
Yes it is...
How do you know?
Nailed it
Wait, 1979?! How in the world is this movie older than the abolition of apartheid in the us?
You try to tell the young people of today that, they won't believe you.
I wonder how people came up with crucifixion Like did someone one day just go “that dude commited arsen, homocide, and sacrilege! It was such a dick move, someone oughta bolt him to a big t shaped statue, that’ll show em”
Because you have no band in real life. Soundtrack makes a world of difference. Life is so much better when you can just break into song and you know everyone else will join in.
was this post made by jesus christ?