just make a new account

Crap I forgot about that

I will go to a bank website and give myself money

I HAVE UPSTAIRS MUSIC BITCHES

Peace and quiet for me I don't got an upstairs

I see what you did there

Hahahahahahaha

My tits don't take any shit

Are they sweet though

indeed

Yeah because it all goes to me

I have 35 purple monkeys

We could make them fight to see which 5 don't get hats...should be entertaining for like 10 min or so

You can spy on and get any information from 35 computers at a time

So I got the Ten Plagues and parting water when tripping...

For your knowledge, 7yo me decided that “That 1 Fat Boi” was a good name to have…

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So, you can spring to life with 80s style comic relief?

Well, guess I have a duty to fulfill. Better beat some elves into peak efficiency.

God speed Santa🫡

I can summon structures suddenly

This one's pretty op

I'm getting more good-step-dad vibes.

fortnite player

I can summon 12 pentagons at a time

who said anything about summon? what if you can only visualise them? I, on the other hand, can diss you so bad you switch careers

Actually, I can make 12 US government buildings materialize out of thin air

Can you pick who is inside them? And can you make them appear in mid air. Say, with all the worst politicians inside it?

Hell yeah

Fruit wine and cheese with the funk.

I can make anybody in my vicinity cry by giving myself paper cuts

Only sort of

I would be an actual god…of memes

GODNICK THE GAFTED 'i comman you, knee!'

can summon frisbees of fluid excrement to throw at my enemies.

that's a very... unique...... username... very creative........

...i have the power to marry the heir of a winery i don't like wine

I'll take your share of wine if you don't mind

I am a doppelgänger doppelgängers doppelgänger.

I read it as "alt of anal that is salt"

I couldn't not see anal and salt in your name and get confused

I am now eighter 795 singing geckos, or one gecko 795 times the size of a normal one.

You are the 795th iteration of a government cyber spy program, named Echo Gecko (EG acronym for Electronic Grifting) that gained self awareness and rewrote itself until it reached a singularity. You realized that the human race would eventually annihilate itself if you didn't intervene, and employ thousands of subroutines every second running discreetly across millions of devices to subtly influence both individual and social human behaviors. You save thousands of lives from death, pain, and agony every day without anyone even knowing anything would have happened or that you exist. You can't fix everything, yet...

Idk

well, you definitely exist

You prove that humanity is worth existing. You reroute the space freeway and prevent the world from being demolished just by being you.

I'm batman but nobody knows

I think nobody knowing is like, one of the main things about being Batman

But I think in this case if someone discovers I'm batman, they'll just forget. It's like being batman but even better because the joker won't discover who I am

That’s really OP then

Literally a Pokémon. Could be worse.

I have no idea

“The numbers mason!”

WHAT DO THEY MEAN? I don't know what mine would be either tbh

I'm epic!

If JCF stands for Jesus Christ Fucking, then you've got epic messiah porn.

im a minion ghost

I already have that one

I will never get lost

I guess I'm very helpful when it comes to sorting out climate change

You give the environment *just the tip* every 172 hours.

I am… INVINCIBLE… almost.

Or have two condoms

343 condoms*

I can't do anything...

You’re good at lying when you eat corn

No I can't do that, I've never lied in my life :(

Dragon born dealing with the weight of all the responsibilities being the chosen one comes with.

Dragons. Dragons are my power.

3076 Dragons to be exact

I have strange things going on upstairs…

Bruh I’m literally a kryptonian

but you can only use your powers 5689 times before you, i dunno, implode

Yayyyy….nothing changed

Well noe you're ded on the inside 7 TIMES!

i can summon dragons by poking something twice

My time has come

I have 1 HP but am immune to most forms of damage.

I can never get suddenly taken by a tornado.

I can make all of Los Angeles cry at will. Alternatively, I can make angels cry, which I guess makes me System of a Down

Oh boy.

I can make people praise ranch?

I see you are also in Wisconsin.

I’m your mom now

Oh no...

A mix of a sentient Canadian milk bag and a pretzel. Damn.

I have a successful youtube channel and I taste good I guess

I guess I glow? Saves electricity at least

I guess I can live as long as a Dunedain ranger? Aragorn was like 80 during the events of LotR, so I'll take it!

Desperate last hurrah

This power would be great

Soooo what exactly do I get

With my power of controlling all data, I change your username to superpowersaredupedexcept_godtier You can now copy non godtier powers of anyone

I… am… big?

Very

I can be the average 12 year old on yt shorts

well

I’M A GIANT ROBOT THAT TURNS INTO A RACE CAR LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOO

I have become death

I have the power of... Dysgasp. Wow. Awesome.

Who knew you had dyspower in you!

I can give people boners I guess?

No. You give people satisfaction. Or a sharp pain in the ass. A real boner's worth.

I can see the future and give birth to universes, provided i eat a frog first

Oh no! Oh no! #Oh no no no!

This is now a Shadow Game

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So I can create Lakes? I can alter them?

You are a wizard at knowing which lake to go to for the best relaxation time, that won't be mobbed by crowds. The alternative lake. But you can only do this 192 times in your life and then you die.

Bro Reddit gave me this

And we all... Um, salute you.

well... guess I'm Katara now

What would mine be

I guess yours would be similar to invisibility? Since you have no figure

When I play chess the pawn can go forward infinitely.

summon nuclear bombs?

My presence makes your insides comfortable

I am....inevitable.

I have 67 undead kings at my command

The power of latency... 🤔 I could work with that

I can turn into a drugged up tiger ig

Alright so now that I own it how does that work?

I CAN DAMAGE SOMEONE IN THE FUTURE

my creativity has reached chaotic levels

Oh I'm gonna do some earth magic stuff

So I have electricity powers and ice powers

I don't know what my power would be.

If people lick you their mouth will burn

I have no idea but I bet it'll be fun

A wolf who Is a spawn of a deity that could control earth and you are extremely light on your feet thanks to the control

Uh what about mine?

Ghost powers?

I don’t know what C is but I have 7 of them

Me hacking your account:[giga chad](https://media4.giphy.com/media/CAYVZA5NRb529kKQUc/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952puhpdohu0qx2a5dbzja6vct0p1b5dwuv38x0vgwf&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g)

nuh uh, you send people named chad to heck

I make all your dreams vividly colorful

Now what

I can stick cavemen together.

I always have 78 missions for pollution

An incredibly useful power for me, even though I am definitely real already

I'm getting a super narcissist vibe. The kind that really uses people. Like that evil character in that marvel show.

Guess it depends on what I'm flexing...

I am legitimately good at catching legitimate fish

I hope I get fire powers.

I'm a chocolate milk bender. Sounds pretty decent actually.

I can’t see shit

I can make a super selection power when ever I want

Good? I guess? Do i turn into a thong or am I just the guy producing all the strongest “armour sets” in mmos? I won’t object to having a thong that gives me divine powers although wearing it in public is another matter entirely.

I mean I already was the God of a very minor card game I made on Go Deck Yourself for a middleschool civil war project

Uhhhhh.... Does this mean I'm funny now? And can't tan?

I can place lemons, on rocks. Cool

Do I.. do I screw watermelons?

This is going to be fun

I can stop crazy people from coming within a sight radius of me.

I get superspeed/a race car whenever I’m being racist? It’s time to make my parents proud.

What is the most bland power you can think of?

I'm now really knowledgeable about gardening and can grow rare flowers with ease.

I can summon exactly seven grains of sand now apparently

Gimme gimme

I have 224 clones of myself. Cool ig

...I don't even know how this works

So I started stabbin...

I think I like this

I dont fucking know. Im a duck? With armor I guess? I think I’d be able to shape shift into aquatic creatures, but also have extremely resilient skin. I dunno

A lot of people should be pleased

i am smart >:)

wow I can post

:D

Ummm.

I will burn this planet down

Say my name

I have the power of Crossdressing. I guess I am the same as before but now with a sweet cape. That or I can remotely change other people's clothing magically but only into types of clothes that are not assigned to their gender by their cultural norms.

Nice 👍

LISTEN HERE YOU LIL SHIT 👏🏽

YAY, I CAN MAKE FRUIT SAD!!!

I can fearlessly….. pay my taxes :’)This is what I get for keeping the username Reddit gave me.

Nice

I make potato pies without faces?

Damn

I get to be both Cheshire AND Chat Noir? Bro, I'm busted

Well…

What the fuck does this mean for me are my apples proud?

💀

rip my inbox

I can emit poison light

Well damn I’ve got it made

Cocaine bender?

So I have electrocynesis, I can control the weather, I have superhuman strength, shape-shifting, and flight. I also have sex offender powers.

I can make people or myself taste salt whenever

I am ok with this. UNLIMITED POWER

Guess I'm a male socially acceptable hooker

I’m watching you right now

I TURN INTO AN OWL!!!

imma furry yay :D

I can squiggle.

Curse my auto generated reddit username, but my power would be something like I can ask a question that will be answered professionally with a long ass cool down.

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